ITT, /tg/ makes flavor text for Black Lotus

>>54590471
"Sucker." -Hung Lo, Chinese Counterfeiter.

>>54590471
Laughing whores.jpg

>>54590471
The flower that grows from the muck is said to be the purest of all.
True especially in the case of Black-Lutoses, as the liquid held in the flower petals is pure pure death in every drop.

>>54590471
"Stop assuming my identity!"

>>54590471
"You see this Jace, this is why you're a screwup! Chandra is, and may I stress this, DYING, because you decided to give her flowers! This is why she's been going along with Lilliana, she's quite blatantly told me you ruined men entirely for her. Gods, you're such a fuckup!"

From nothing, something is born. From something, everything is born.

"Sometimes flowers are artifacts because fuck you."
— Urza

>>54590471
WE WUZ FLOWERZ AND SHIIIEEETTTTTT

>>54590629
wotc-level quality

"Lord Bearington traded his castle for one and thought the price small."

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>>54590610

>>54590471
"Tasty going in. Funny going out."
- Jurg, Goblin Herbalist

>>54590471
>"give this back to its original owner immediately and stop counterfeiting it!" - Will Hung, flower seller

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>>54591345

>>54590471
"Here lies Ozymandius, King of Kings, where his tomb and body shall lay inviolate and preserved for a thousand years!" - inscription upon a 900 year old bronze plaque found in the soil of the black lotus garden of k'nuum

>>54590471

"To see this flower is to understand what it means to exemplify beauty amidst filth" Xia Shu Yun, Patriarch of the Black Cloud Triad.

>>54591419
jajajaja

>>54590471
>ITT everyone shows themselves to be a pleb who has no idea what the card is a reference to
do literally any of you read books?

>>54591551
No, the current is to hate MTG lore because the SJWs ruined it. Therefore the less we know, the more able we are to ignorantly mock it and feel self-superior.

This is a flower that is a lotus, it has great potential, this is powerful

>>54590471
>Flower Power.

>>54591585
MTG lore has been shit ever since the invasion/Weatherlite shit ended, but I don't see what sjws have to do with that.

>>54591551
Afaik the OG lotus reference is from the Odyssey, and magic lotus type plants show up in fantasy as referencing that. Conan stories mention black lotuses a couple of times.

>>54591737
Oh, nothing, it's just the current scapegoat we use so we have something to blame on why things aren't the way they used to be in our skewed nostalgic memories.

>>54591925
I don't think my preference for old lore is just skewed nostalgic memories though, I've read some of the novels, and the brother's war books are easily the best ones. I think the problem with the new lore (and the new art style, card frames, etc) is they are trying to sell to comic book fans, not fans of old school fantasy. And comic books suck.

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>>54590901
Before there was time, before there was anything, there was nothing.
And before there was nothing, there were MONSTERS.

>>54590471
"Less experienced mages hate lotuses - especially black lotuses, the symbol of the most powerful mages."

>If there's anything a card designer hates, it's a lotus, especially Black Lotus, the symbol of Richard's poor design decisions.

>>54592066
>>54592099
FUCK IT WASN'T EVEN CLOSE

>>54590471
You need soil conditions to be just right.

>"Once you go Black, you never go back." - Vintage Player

"Who needs to put a down payment on a house anyway?"

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>>54592066
>>54592099
>>54592111
Wowsers, those digits!

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>>54590471
How can white lotus' even compete?

"I tasted a petal once and knew what true power was. Imagine what happened once I stumbled upon a whole flower" -Riku of two reflections

>>54590471
power- at any price

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>>54591585
>>54591925
Yeah, because there's absolutely NO instance of whiny SJWs lashing out against how MtG handles its characters and story.

OH WAIT.

>>54592860
hey man if you remind someone of rape then what ever you do is inherently wrong, you need to change what you are doing because you trying to craft a universe for a game for millions of people is actually about my history and problems.

>>54590471
>LOTUSED.COM

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>>54592860
Wrong image, friendo. Gang rape in cemeteries is serious shit.

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>>54592860
>>54593185
so how much of this was caused by the fact lili is a huge bitch?

>>54592752
This one I like

"If Purphoros wishes my heart, he should stop making items I can improve upon" Nylea god of the hunt.

>>54591585
>paranoid whining about "SJWs"
as someone who used to go on /tg/ far more about 4 years ago, it really is sad to see what this place has become

>>54592860
yeah, that happened WAY after mtg lore already went to shit though. Everything post mending is incredibly shit, and its been shit pretty much since onslaught.

>>54590923
I laughed
>>54590940
beat me to it
>>54590629
that's probably closest to what it would be and that saddens me

>>54593363
Literally all of it. She cursed Garruk so he was out for revenge. The part of the curse that was going to kill him was removed later, but he kept all the power it gave him and stayed evil and mad, that's Jaces fault. Now Garruk goes around hunting other planeswalkers for sport. Thanks Liliana

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>>54593363
>Lili and Chandra
>playing mono white and mono blue

>>54591551


wait, what is it a reference to?

>>54591170
>>54593481
It would even be misspelled Lutos and the market would blip around what is and isn't a misprint

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>>54590471
>some say black is not a colour, others that it's made of many
>I believe it's roughly 3 not-colours

>>54591328
>>54591364
>>54592752
>>54593431
Best of the thread so far.

>>54590471
The flower from which a thousand ideas bloom.

>>54593436
Agreed

>>54590471
"Some people say that money does not grow from trees. This is true. Trees are hard to harvest, and cheap to sell. Money grows only from rare and unique plants. Wealthy fools are enamored by exclusivity, if they hear of a unique item, they will raise a Khan's ransom to have it for themselves. The secret of the black lotus? The white one is the same in all but colour."- He Hua, the merchant

>>54594650
Yes.

>>54590471
"It isn't always great beasts that present the greatest threat." - Kor proverb.

>>54590471
"...and he knew that only the grisly wizards of the Black Ring, which is the nadir of evil, voluntarily seek the scarlet nightmares of the black lotus."
— Robert E. Howard, "The Hour of the Dragon."

>>54598333
Now thats the good shit

>>54592860
A broken clock is right twice a day. In this case, I agree with the whiny SJW's. That card looks rapey. I don't want rapey art on my magic cards. Keep the violence at a PG-13 level at the most. People play this game in public. Kids play this game. I played with my mom.

I also find it kind of insulting that the art direction thinks the only way I'll be interested in their game is if it has an hypersexualized chick in it. As if all they have to do is stick some wet, silk-coverd tits on something and I'll immediately buy it. Please give me and my boner some credit.

The dumbest thing about this art is that it's misleading. It looks like some guy is beating the shit out of some helpless woman, but if you know anything about the lore you know that Liliana is a powerful magic user and you can clearly see she's doing some nasty necromantic shit to Garruk, and he ends up losing this fight... badly.

>>54590471
"Heh...that's a dumb looking flower..." -Jace Beleren

>>54590471
"If tapped, a black lotus is said to drop value rapidly.
What the fuck is a black lotus?
Not your mother."

>>54598460
You cease being a total newfag at Magic when you understand why the Black Lotus is so powerful.

Like, when you're new at the game, it's perfectly understandable to look at Black Lotus and not get why it is rightly called the most powerful card at Magic. It's just three mana.

But sooner or later there comes a point where you look at Black Lotus and say to yourself "holy fucking shit, how was this ever printed? How did Garfield not realize how mind-numbingly powerful this is?"

Amidst the shit, muck, filth, nazi, bigoted, alt-right... oh wait Black Lotus... uh... its a flower in a swamp.

>>54598419
The only thing I can really hold against that argument is the flavor text, which implies that he is trying to save himself from a curse she put on him.
>Rid me of this curse, witch, or die with me.

But the art could be improved on nonetheless. May not look rapey, but I don't predict a day when double standards in gender are going to stop being a thing.

>I also find it kind of insulting that the art direction thinks the only way I'll be interested in their game is if it has an hypersexualized chick in it. As if all they have to do is stick some wet, silk-coverd tits on something and I'll immediately buy it. Please give me some credit.
I actually have an aversion to sexual fanservice in things that I invest interest in. If the fanservice is from something I have no attachment to, such as a mediocre anime, then I'm not going to care and will spend my time... appreciating it. If it's in something I like, then I'm either going to try to ignore it or bitch about it on a Algerian Woodworking board, and even with the latter I would only do it if it was absolutely tasteless because I know that some people don't have the same tastes as me.
It's probably because I'm an American, but I like to keep a high wall between lewd and (anything with violence or serious conflict). I'll take either, even with some comedy weaved in, but not both at the same time.

>>54598726
Which is why anon attributed the quote to be from that smug tool Jace.

>>54590471
In one of the early pre-revision novels, Whispering Woods, a wizard casually mentions to his entourage that they should gather any black lotuses they see since they grow plentifully in that area, and anyone who brings some back will get a pay bonus.

I really like how underestimated that card was back then to have the fluff refer to it so casually. I'd probably take that direction with the flavor text. Nothing epic or overly dramatic, just a description of the flower, where it grows, and its significance to the locals.

>>54590471
>"Its petals shine with all the colors of the world, and for that all the world desires it."

Alternatively,
"A treasure, priceless beyond life
Stands gleaming in the dawn.
And in a moment, it is spent."
-Snow-Fur, Kitsune Poet

>>54598333

Yes. Yes. YES

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>>54591925
>skewed nostalgic memories

>>54593363
>so how much of this was caused by the fact lili is a bad character?

Granted, all of the nuwalkers are bad characters, but the Main Five are especially egregious, if only because the others don't generally get enough screentime to show off why they're so dumb. Lilliana is the blandest possible interpretation of Black, just as Chandra is for Red and Nissa and Garruk were for Green.

>>54590471
>Shieeeeeet

>>54598419
Magic hasn't had any sexy art since the early aughts. The chicks on the 6 o'clock news are more sexualized than the shit we get now.

>The dumbest thing about this art is that it's misleading. It looks like some guy is beating the shit out of some helpless woman, but if you know anything about the lore you know that Liliana is a powerful magic user and you can clearly see she's doing some nasty necromantic shit to Garruk, and he ends up losing this fight... badly.
So you're saying that this piece of art that depicts a very pivotal scene from the lore, makes sense if you care about the lore? Wow, it's almost like they made it for people who care about the story and not for people who don't even play the game!

>>54598726
>"holy fucking shit, how was this ever printed? How did Garfield not realize how mind-numbingly powerful this is?"

Because there was no such thing as a market for cardboard back then and he didn't expect anyone to ever see more than one in their entire life. Also it was designed around other Alpha cards. Guess what, outside of the big boys, pretty much every Alpha card sucked.

>>54599370
I'm >>54598973
If we're talking about the art without story context, because not every player reads the story, the art might look rapey to some, not me personally, but to others it might, and I could see the resemblance a little.
However, the card itself does provide enough context to imply that the situation is not rape or abuse, but rather some guy trying to save himself from a woman who created the predicament he is in.
>Rid me of this curse, witch, or die with me.
Every player is going to have access to that flavor text if they have access to the card, which they are either playing or they aren't, and if they aren't then the supposedly problematic art doesn't really matter.

>>54599210
Longer isn't better and that first one is fucking terrible. It takes 47 words to say, "Bolas makes plans." I hope to god nobody published a book where everything was written like that.

Second one is sort of blunt and cringey and I wouldn't argue if someone called it crap, but it at least gets to the point. That story didn't need to be anything more than Bolas curbstomping the heroes, and a flowery introduction would have been a waste of time.

Basically the second one reads like a first draft of a potentially decent story, while the second reads like someone who's spent too much time reading Tolkien and thinks that's just how you're supposed to write.

>>54599651
Alright then, pretend you don't know shit about Nicky B.

Tell me how much you learn about him as a character from that second author.

>He is probably a bad guy who wants to kill heroes

Those 47 words that you call 'he makes plans' are describing him. They tell me what he's like as a character. Longer is better if it accomplishes something.

>>54599651
>implying Tolkien wasn't a good author
unironically kill yourself

>>54593581
motherfucking J O J O

>>54590471
Ho bip bip parapa

>>54599936
I agree, but to give him some benefit of the doubt that he just worded that in a shit way, there's nothing quite as awful as bad writers trying to copy Tolkien's style

"Roses are red,
lotus are black,
your mother will die in her sleep, unless you crack a fatpack."
-MaRo

>>54590471
"Bring back Dark Ritual!" Anonymous, Maigcon 20XX

"Beautiful" Hannah shuttered. "I can't condemn the desire I feel"

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>>54590471
"But it absorbs all light!"
"No, it emits *black* light."

>>54598333
Trips confirm best in thread

>>54598333
Yeah, I think this is our winner.

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>>54598333
Hell yeah.

>>54590471
Black Lotus flew toward the graveyard, eager to make 3 mana today

>>54598333
cringe/10

>>54601458
>not liking conan
dispose of your life

A man's home is is castle
A black lotus is a man's mortgaged home

>>54593513
>ignoring the fact that she cursed Garruk because he was trying to kill her


>inB4 but she killed one of his beasts
"in self defense" is how that sentence ends

>>54600525
>shuttered
Do you mean "shuddered?"

"It's the blackest of Lotuses."

>>54602021
The right to defend yourself does not extend past the initial fight. If you deliberately injure or maim your attacker in a way they won't recover from, beyond what will help you survive the confrontation, then you've gone too far.
Lili had many more effective ways of dealing with Garruk than cursing him with the fucking Chain Veil.

>>54601458
HA! Crom laughs at your rating.

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"$19999.99 buys 19999.99 reasons to still imprint money"
-Markshekel Jewater-

>>54602494
Crom doesn't laugh. He sits on his mountain and sends out death and doom.

Fucking casual. Though on the other hand, at least you're not this colossal faggot, >>54601458

I mean, holy shit, >>54601458. The faggotry is incalculable.

>>54590471

"The Black Lotus holds a terrible secret. It is actually The Very Dark Purple Lotus."

>>54602463
Never read the book, but I'd refer to Ender Wiggin in the movie:

"when I hurt someone, I hurt them in such a way that they will never attack me again. I finish every future fight before it begins."

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>>54598333

"Finally, after all this time- I have become Magic: The Gathering"

>>54602660
Now just make it old borders :)

>>54602463
It was her best tool.
If you get assaulted by a guy with a bat, and you have a gun, are you going to grab a chair and hit him with it instead?
Nah.

>>54602890
Shit, man, no one wins a knife fight. Even if you have a gun, my father always told me to just run away, because it's not worth trying to justify in court why you shot a man who only had a knife.

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>>54602660
>>54598333
I made it not look like shit.

>>54599651
>le less is more xD

Found the ADHD faggot who complains about WORDS WORDS WORDS in comic threads.

>>54590471
"Eat black many leaf flower and your tar flinging will burn brighter!" -Auntie Wort

>>54591737
You mean ever since the weatherlite shit started, right?
Weatherlite was Jacetice League 1.0

>>54605081
There is a time and place for words words words still, just not EVERYWHERE.

>>54602890
Hense the "beyond what will help you survive the confrontation." If I have a gun, I'm going to shoot the guy, then I'm gonna call an ambulance for him. I'm not gonna blow both his kneecaps out so he never walks again.

>>54607263
What are you, a pussy?

>>54606340
It wasn't great, but it was at least better then new lore, since it at least had a connection to the Urza/brother's war lore. Plus phyrexians are dope.