The Greatest 20's you've ever rolled

>>54514321
>Come share your stories of the best 20's you've ever had.
>implying D&D
kys

File: Fivel and Virgelsmol.jpg (454KB, 1000x895px) Image search: [Google]

454KB, 1000x895px

>>54514321

>the party cheers but they have no idea
>two 20's nigga, t w o 2 0 's
>I don't even ask for any thing as I let the DM take a swing and go into story telling mode
>the mood of the table takes on a frantic feeling, some are amazed, some are sickened but all pulled in as the tales of that night play out
>my PC's true form is revealed and the gods weep as i play sickly sweet music so entrancing that the whole port comes to listen and revel
>the town guard tries to intervene but too surrender to the beat
>the barbarian and the druid got with the town guard, the wizard got turned into a woman, the warlock fucked a house and my pc woke up in bed with the barmaid, her husband and the dog
>the bar is now the hippest joint in the city

>my PC got inspiration

File: Magical Realming.png (195KB, 635x354px) Image search: [Google]

195KB, 635x354px

>>54514321
>>is actually an incubus wanting to corrupt the party and pull them all to acts of hedonism

I stopped reading right here, because whatever follows is going to be retarded magical realm fetish shit fanfiction that didn't actually happen.

Please fuck off and find another board to shit up. Thanks.

One person saying DnD sucks on /tg/ of all places, another person going "Fuck this, no potential".

Fine.

Awesome story thread? Awesome story thread.

This is the story of how I succeeded at a three-die stunt in Exalted without rolling a damn die.

>>54514621
So, to start off, let's cover the party.

The theme behind this game of Exalted was "Everybody's a different kind of Exalt." We had a Solar, a Lunar, a Sidereal, and an Infernal. For those of you unfamiliar with the lore, that means we had a dude who was the demigod of the God of Success, aka fucking wins at everything, a demigod werewolf (or weretoad in this case) whose god is the Eternal Partner (Since Luna is simultaneously a rockin' hunky dude, a bitchin' sweet lady, and both at the same time because shapeshifting tomfuckery), a demigod of Fate Itself, and Demon Jesus.

Why Demon Jesus? Well, I will tell you.

Infernals are corrupted Solars, corrupted by demons in particular. Long story short, this guy had a five-outta-five in Compassion, so he was hellbent on saving the shit out of everybody, and never using violence if he could help it. Which is weird for a demon, but he made it work. We had a good team.

And then I showed up, right as Alchemicals were released.

>>54514639
I could go on and on about lore, but my guy was a Soulsteel Alchemical. I joined the group and played my first game of Exalted as "Autochthon's Guillotine of Reckoning". Yes, Exalted characters have pompous names like that.

The party called me Gil.

Basically? I was Nazi Robocop. My armor was forged from the souls of a long-dead race, I had a big lightsaber axe shaped like a guillotine blade, and when the blade wasn't turned on it was a colossal truncheon. I came from a dystopian cyber-communist world where everybody worked for the good of society and it went well. And if you didn't want to work for the good of society, the beatings would continue until morale improved. And Gil liked him some beatings.

Obviously, this did not mesh well with Demon Jesus.

We had a lot of clashes in-character. A lot of struggles. Demon Jesus would do miracles, and show that he was powerful enough to be respected. He got results by being kind. Gil would force situations into successes through brute force and mind-spike dream hacking. (Trust me, this is literally a thing, Exalted is crazy-awesome like that sometimes.)

Everything was going great, until someone kidnapped the Sidereal's buddy in Heaven.

>>54514662
Heaven, if you couldn't guess, is a big-ass bureaucracy in Exalted. Literal gods work menial jobs because that's how overcrowded it is. Sidereals are bigshots when it comes to power, though, and someone had infiltrated our Sidereal's compound, kidnapped her friend, and sent us a finger telling us not to interfere in Mr. BBEG's plans.

The Solar with his Sanger Zonvolt sword, the Lunar who passed his trial into becoming Exalted by literally swallowing a burning torch, and Nazi Robocop, all said "Fuck that" collectively and we decided to hunt down the fuckers who fucked our shit.

The fight was short.

We remanded them into Heaven Jail. It's a lot like normal jail, but the jailors are Foo Dogs, they eat people who go out of line, and beatings and torture are casually turned away from when the prisoners get uppity. Demon Jesus did not approve.

Initial questioning revealed no information, so Gil stepped up to the plate.

>>54514695
Demon Jesus stands up to Gil and says "No, we are not resorting to torture." Gil replies, "Give me five minutes and he talks."

Appalled and frustrated, Demon Jesus walks. He just says "Fuck it, I want no part of this." So Gil walks into the jail hall and pulls out...an ordinary steel knife. No magic. No godly powers. No Soulsteel, no Orichalcum, no magical Jade. Just steel.

And he walks up to the cell of one of the people responsible. Gods who don't get worshipped eventually turn to Ghouls, which devour other celestial beings to absorb their power. This god in particular was the god of a desert spider that had been extinct for a century. He had a five-outta-five on Bravery, so he was essentially unable to be intimidated. That's because he was a war god, and had nothing left to lose.

Gil's stance? Challenge accepted.

So Gil walks up to the bars. And he starts to pace. He's tapping the blade against the bars of the cell, and speaks. "Back in Sova, we had an extensive prisoner system. So extensive, that the prisoners developed a method of communication. They spoke in wounds. A cut in a specific place, a bruise here, a broken bone there...it meant things. Important things. But executions had special meaning."

The ghoul smiled at that one.

>>54514730
"Executions have very...particular meanings. But the method is what matters. One always stood out to me. The Sovan Necktie."

Gil stopped pacing, and stood at the center of the cell's bars. "That's where you'd slash a man's throat. But you'd reach up, through the wound, and pull their tongue out. You'd let it just...flop over their chest. And dangle. Like a necktie." The knife glinted a little.

The ghoul marched up to the bars, eye-to-eye with this automaton, and smiled with rotten teeth. And then he said,

"You don't have the stones."

And that was a mistake.

Because Gil reached forward, and grabbed its neck. But then he slid the knife...against the ghoul's inner thigh. And brought it up to his groin. No piercing, no cutting, just knowledge it was there.

And then,behind the lenses of the goggles attached to his stahlhelm, Gil let out in his most terrifying growl:

"If you don't start talking, I'm going to give you a Sovan CODPIECE."

At this point, I turn to the DM and the other players, hold my dice in my hand, and say "I would like to roll to intimidate the god."

>>54514761
The entire group winced, recoiled, and subtly adjusted their hands closer to their groins.

And the Lunar player holds up a hand. "I nominate for a three-die stunt." In seconds, it's unanimous. Everybody wants this to be a three-die stunt.

For those unfamiliar, you can add a die to a roll by being clever with your description on exactly how you do it. This gives you better chances of success. A two-die stunt is where you go above and beyond to describe something really especially cool. But a three-die stunt means not only do you get three extra dice, you get bonus EXP, or something similar. You can't get a three-die stunt unless someone else nominates you, and the table votes for it; this is written in the books itself.

Not only did they nominate it, but the DM shook his head and said "You pass. You pass. You have intimidated him. He transforms into his spider form and begins screaming for you to let him go, and for the guards to intervene. He will give you what you want."

And that's when I turn to Demon Jesus' player and smile.

>>54514779
I based this interrogation tactic off of something I learned.

In real life, the execution is called a Colombian Necktie. Yes, people have killed each other by slashing throats and pulling tongues through. Yes, it is gruesome. Very nasty.

There is no such thing as a Colombian Codpiece. Or, in modern terms, Jockstrap.

Gil lied. He made up a fake worse version of a very real execution, to scare the shit out of someone by letting them fill in the blanks and decide whatever he wanted to do was worse than what they'd endure. He had no intention.

Demon Jesus had gotten to him. Gil had no intent to torture, maim, or kill that day.

He bluffed.

And he won.

>>54514795
I don't think we ever finished the campaign, but I do remember that, over time, Gil lightened up and learned not to treat everything as "Beat someone until they stop being bad", and Demon Jesus came a bit more to terms with how awful reality can be, and let it steel him towards fixing the issues.

Gil stopped being a Nazi-commie dickhead, and started advocating for de-escalation policies. Instead of just hitting everyone with stun ammo and letting someone else sort them out, he'd talk people down and help them come to terms.

We never did reach a conclusion. I wish we did.

File: 959212.jpg (256KB, 1000x1414px) Image search: [Google]

256KB, 1000x1414px

>>54514839
Pretty cool story! I like it when PCs influence each other for the better

If only Exalted wasnt the charms charms charms charms charms charms charms charms charms charms charms charms charms charms charms charms charms charms mess that it is, I would give it a shot. As it is, I will go with Vampire and Werewolves instead

I rolled a 20 to evade the final explosion of a dying Balor. If I didn't have Improved Evasion, nobody in the party would have survived. When the party died, they turned into powerful weapons. My character retired with those weapons on his mantlepiece, as a reminder of his adventures with his friends.

>>54514329
>waaaah stuhp pway dnd poopyhead
This is what you sound like in every thread. It has been 3 years, take a break.