Field Kit Inspection: Standard Issue Uprising Edition

>>54479953
Hey who do I talk to if I want some weapons fixed?

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>>54479953
That's a true shame my honored commissar, yes.
I'm your new...quartermaster, yes

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>>54479953
Third company is prepped, and ready to go on your orders, Commissar! We're ready to strike fear into the hearts of those foul traitors, with every shot we've got!

>>54479974
That would be the Quarter Master, Gunnery Sergeant Rias Wyvern.

>>54479987
Once again, I'd suggest you talk to Gunnery Sergeant Rias Wyvern.

>>54479987
Hey, you. Strange inferior xenos specimen. I want new shuriken pistols mine are fucked. Or better I suppose.

Hell yeah, I've never rape a chaos asshole before

>>54479987
You! where is the male you promised Lag'!

>>54480025
Let me rephrase that, who do I talk to if I want some weapons fixed *discreetly*

>>54480033
Yes honored queen, follow me...
>>54480028
>Spits on his visor
>>54480025
Of course captain, I'll talk to her in a moment
I have supplies that need my immediate attention, yes

>>54479953
R-Rerou- ya gotta be shitting me, I've been savin' up for weeks for that! Can't the damn heretics wait 'till I've had a coupla hands of blackjack?

Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>54480055
*roll to reflect spit and throw it back with telekinesis*

>>54480040
>Matthias would see a tiny version of himself let out a sigh, through his mind's eye.
>He bloody hated dealing with these damned Xeno infiltrators. But rules were rules, and he simply wasn't allowed to execute them.
>...Yet...
>He would nod his head.

I'm afraid I couldn't tell you, trooper.

>>54480055
>she follows the merchant,but also oulls out a small plasma pistol,just in case

>>54480098
Ah here we are, this meat, erm I mean human is Jeff
>Points at a guy in rags
He's from an underhive, yes.
>Brings Jeff to Lag
Here's your delivery yes

>>54480096
He is clearly not a trooper. He's a fucking eldar! Are you blind captain?

>>54480096
*sighs visibly*
Well I guess I will just take it up with the quarter master when I find them being the loyal trooper of the mon'kleigh imperium that I am.

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>A small carrier bearing symbols of the Administratum would enter the hanger, drop off a small container in the center of the hanger then fly away
>The shutters would roll up, revealing an adept of the Administratum, holding what appears to be a large metal briefcase
Adept Viktor Morvos, here to provide emergency aid to the hive o- wait a fucking minute, this isn't a devastated hive city. Where the fuck am I?

>>54480079
>The Hospitaller would place a gentle hand upon the Sergeant's shoulder.
>She really HAD spent the better part of a week and a half, by Van Kleez's side, after his recent injuries.

Doesn't seem like you're going to get to spend your life's savings anytime soon, Sergeant! You'll just have to suffice for the thrill of possibly throwing away your life, in the name of the God-Emperor, and Lord Commander Guilliman.

>>54480140
An eldar! What a funny joke you are playing!
As if an eldar could infiltrate a mon'kleigh regiment! What a hilarious joke!

>>54480133
>she inspects this "jeff",searching for any sign of Illness or another "problem"
and you are sure he will suffice?

>>54480150
Indeed you're not, Adept. You're on an Imperial strike crusier called the "Eagle's Fury".

>He would flash the man a quick salute.

Captain Matthias' Wyvern, commanding Officer of the Regiment's third Company.

>>54480164
Hmmm yes, Jeff should meet all the standarts you listen yesterday...which were none, yes
But I assure you honorable hrud, he's healthy and at the peak of human performance, some would say he's an...how od they say, ah yes astartes material, kept obidient by the shock collar, yes.
Are you dissatisfied with your purchase honorable queen?

>>54480140
>He would plant a firm, painful boot, upon the trooper's own foot. Rubbing it in harshly, in order to shut him the hell up.

Best not let the Commissar hear you say that, trooper...

>>54480203
If you say so merchant,Lag' is not dissatisfied
>she turns to Jeff
Have you anything to say my prize?

>>54480226
Your wish is my command

>>54479953
>he presents the same things as last time with few exceptions:
>Flintlock pistol, gunpowder and ammunition
>Worn robes and an old staff
>Metal mask and two obsidian-black fake eyes (slightly too large)
>old boots and his daily ration of Nutri-Slurry

>>54480208
Wonderfully done captain!
Also I'm pretty sure there is a sex slave thing going on round the corner that you should deal with.

>>54480151
>he has a slightly harrowed look in his eye
>he shrugs her hand off
Oh boy, what a holiday.

>>54480150
You've just been subjected to the worst c-clerical error of your life. Welcome to the regiment!
Now I think about it, this is how we receive a surprising number of our recruits.

>>54480182
>the adept hastily returns the salute, before removing several scrolls from within the depths of his coat, along with several quills
>The adept hastily scribbles several lines on blank spaces on the scrolls, using each of the 7 quills at least 3 times.
Uh, ok, Captain... >the adept adjusts the goggles he's wearing slightly as he looks at the captain's nameplate
Matthias, I need you to sign here, here, initials here, name in print here, sign this in duplicate, and this in triplicate, for my statement as to why I'm not currently assisting in the rebuilding of the Hive City Atrepolis.

>>54480150
>leaving the sergeant alone, the sister walks up to the new Administratum agent

Hello there I am Illya, and its time for your mandatory medical check up please follow me this way

>she places her hand on his shoulder, and trys to herd him through the doors

>>54480208
>A hunched fugure comes near the captain
Honorable captain, where can I find the gunnery sergeant you wanted me to see?

>>54480236
Then follow Lag',Before the others get worried
>she begins to drag the poor human to god knows where

>>54480280
A medical check up you say...
>the man procures even more scrolls and quills
I need you to sign here, here, here and here, initials in triplicate here, one signed in cerulean blue, one in navy blue, and one in cerulean blue, full name in print here, a copy of your medical qualifications here, initials here, here, and here, and for you to fill out this form registering the completion of a routine health check up. In quadruplicate.

>>54480332
>the sister smiles and forces him to walk towards the corridor

oh I will sweetie, but that's for after. now lets just do the exam then I will happily fill out all the paper work in the segmentum

Ho-lee shit this regiment is as dumb as bricks...

>>54480368
>the man slowly puts the scrolls back into his coat
That's fine I guess... it's only a medical inspection I suppose, what's the worst that could happen?

>>54480397
Then you m-make a fine addition.

>>54480398
>he shouts after him
You shouldn't have said that!

>>54480397
Now now there, there's no reason to insult yourself like that. Also how the fuck are you still alive.

>>54480417
Huh

Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>54480398
>once they are in a nice secluded section of the ship, she begins the exam

>rolling for how through the exam is

>>54480411
Kleez I saved your life the other day, I want "not drugs" in return.

>>54480434
To add, my negro, you are an Eldar. Why are you in a fucking guard regiment.

>>54480253
>Never one to sign anything without first reading it. He would spend several moments going over every line of it.
>Should everything seem in order, he would sign off on the forms, before handing them to the Adept, alongside his quill.

It should be in order.

Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>54480427
>rolling for how much PTSD he gets

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>>54480449
Again, I'm clearly not an eldar. Look at me.

>>54480280
>Illya's eyes would widen in horror at the sight, of herself.
>I don't think I ever thought I'd have to say that...
W-w-w-WHAT!?! WHO IN THE EMPEROR'S NAME ARE YOU!?

>>54480457
My honored captain, you wanted me to see the gunnery sergeant,yes.
Where can I find her?

>>54480463
Take off your helmet and show your knife ears. Go on.

>>54480491
Take out your heart and let me watch you grow a new one mon'kleigh. That's distinctly not a trait you should have.

>>54480487
>>54480427
>the man looks at the two Hospitalliers confused
ALEEEAEDHGHBLLLLLLF
>he promptly falls to his knees, swatting at the air
HOLY FUCK THESE COLOURS ARE FUCKING INSANE GUYS

Rolled 36, 64 = 100 (2d100)

>>54480487
>looking at my double, I grin a very obviously bad grin

oh just helping about............ALPHA LEGION AWAY FOR THE EMPRAAAAAAAAAAAA

>vanishing in smoke

[roll for coolness and actualy vanishing....not in that order]

>>54480523
>I'd smash my hand into my chest, ripping out my heart and throwing it at your face
Now... you have to... do as I asked...
>I'd slump on the floor, """dead"""

What is this?

>>54480434
I can provide a whole s-selection of not drugs, maybe drugs, definitely drugs, depends-who's-asking drugs...
>he rummages in his coat and tosses the corsair a small pouch

>>54480487
>he looks at her with glazed over eyes
It's fine, I'll wake up any minute now. Aaaany minute now.

>>54480538
>with a realy rather bad look, I run pretty fast through quite a few tunnels

"BYE BOLTER BITCH"

>>54480552
mad ness and autism in a very fun mix

>>54480545
>>54480457
CAPTAIN WATCH THIS CORPSE
WATCH IT CLOSELY
HE JUST TORE OUT HIS FUCKING HEART CAPTAIN

>>54480538
>>54480487

>Matthias would openly sigh at at the sheer stupidity of what had just happened.

>>54480490
She should be around here somewhere...

>>54480532
Well. That went about as poorly as one could expect medical care around here to go...

Hopefully, we'll be in orbit soon...

>>54480588
Of course my honored captain
You can call me over the vox when you know where she's located, yes

>>54480568
>my heart would begin to regenerate, eventually all the fibres re-connecting, and a new heart would now be visible
>After a few seconds it began pumping blood around my body

>>54480588
>>54480636
CAPTAIN ARE YOU FUCKING PAYING ANY ATTENTION TO THIS HERESY?

Lag' has returned from her, "time" with Jeff,do not expect to see him again

>>54480636
>the man stares at this spectacle, mouth agape, before giggling
hehehehe... This is way fucking rad dudes... I can SMELL.... SOUND

>>54480648
>I would mouth to the man "Hydra Dominatus"

Lag' wonders what is going on,are you fighting each other?

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>>54480681
Fine, this is me without my fucking helmet.

>>54480720
KNIFE EAR

>>54480671
My honorable biped are you well?
You want to give me all your cash, yes

>>54480681
>the elf nods and drags him into the bowles of the ship before anyone can notice

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>>54480728
*hastily reequips helmet*
No idea what you are talking about. Also I recorded that shit with the heart. I'm gonna look this up on spacebook.

>crawls out of a massive weapons crate
Who the hell nabbed two of my fucking plasma pistols. I'll castrate the man who did it.

>>54480740
My... my cashy cash?
>the man thinks for a moment, or potentially trips the fuck out, who knows
Yeah, you can have all my cash
>the man digs deep into his pockets, pulling out several empty ink bottles, and handing them to the robed creature, before sliding up close to the being
What, like, really IS cash though, maaaan?

>>54480762
I recorded your knife ears
My eyes double as cameras

>>54480751
What are you doing Prince-Man?

>>54480777
It was probably a "woman"
Also I want new pistols.
Shuriken equivalent or better.
How do I pay?

>I'd burst out from a random crate
How are we all?

Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>54480780
Hmmm yes this will work nicely honorable biped
Can you also ive all your thrones?
>Roll to convince
>>54480777
Oh honorable sergeant, captain Matthew wanted me to see you

>>54480040
That would be me
step into my office
and dont knock over the wraithknight I spent a lot of time fixing it

Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>54480816
What even like, IS a throne though, maaaan?

>>54480817
Wraithknight?
You are allowed one?
I take it you are familiar with eldar technology then?
*enters office*

>>54480800
Who was it....
Also in trade or thrones. Give me some fancy eldar gear and I'll get you something fun.

>>54480836
maybe I mean like... you should give ME all your thrones, maaaan. Fuck the man and all, y'know?

>>54480813
>he stands in line on crutches having just found out his holiday's been cancelled
*wheeze* Wonderful, thanks.

>>54480777
>Matthias would flash his wife a smile.

It's a pleasure to see you're so enthusiastic about your work, as always Darling!

>>54480842
I will get back to you on that

>>54480813
Lag wonders why are you in there.

>I pick him up and wak off with him

lag says come with me

Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>54480858
>I'd attempt to manifest a power to heal the man of all his injuries

>>54480858
Look on the bright side, Sergeant. You got an entire week and a half off your usual duties. And you got to spend it with me, nrusing you back to health!

I think you should consider that a win-win.

Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>54480872
Fuck off
>I'd try to cast smite on the man

>>54480856
Hmmm stryx are not charitable, but I have to pay for the treasures you gave me
>Gives 50 thrones
>>54480858
Oh honorable sergeant, I'm Ars'andog, captain Wyvern asked me to see you

>>54480892
>with the power doing so little, it still stings and I drop the man

that hurt Lag, lag go back to my mate now


>RUN THE FUCK AWAY

ALPHA LEGION

>>54480872
You are not Lag' who are you?

>>54480914
Excellent my man... excellent
>the man wonders away to the crate he arrived in, collapsing onto the floor

Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>54480921
Rolling to catch that fuck

>>54480877
Hey, I'm almost f-feeling better. Thanks for that.

>>54480891
>he grimaces
Given that I also couldn't fuckin' walk for a week, we'll call it a win-lose at best.

>>54480914
He did? That c-can't be good.

>>54480955
No problem. So we're fighting chaos kookies today? How fun.

Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>54480940
HELL NO

[to escape]

>>54480867
I don't like people stealing from me, ever. You know this.

>>54480871
Just come find me. I'll have your stuff.

>>54480838
allowed? sure I am definitely "allowed" to have it
but yeah I can fix just about anything that isn't nid or ork tech and doesn't require me being a psyker.
of course since you are a crafworld we'll see what I can do
spent two years in commorough but thats different tech I think.
the knight is fixed but I had to take the soul stone because the angry murder ghost tried to kill me
now its just a nice decoration and hat rack

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>>54480955
>She would pretend to pout at his words. Her cheeks puffed up, and her lips pushed outwards.

You're so mean, Sergeant! All I am, is kind, and gentle with you nowadays.

>Her face would return to its usual smile at this point.

You could atleast TRY to pretend you enjoyed my company. It would be nice.

>>54480955
Ah my apologies honorable sergeant, I mistook you for a gunnery sergeant.
While were here, would you like some...merchendise?

Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>54480973
>I'd attempt to manifest a power that opens a portal beneath your feat and sends you to a lava hell like deathworld

Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>54480973
Rolling to teleport after him because fuck you

Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>54480973
>parkouring over rails and stairs I run through the ship down to the hangers

>>54481011


[dodge]

>>54480984
I'm not a craftworlder, I was exiled. I'm a corsair but the tech is essentially the same. Anyway I was trying to kill an immortal and my shuriken pistols kicked the bucket. Can you see what's wrong with them?

>>54480977
>He nods his head.

Of course I do. But you have to admit, with a group as.... "Loyal"... As ours. Things like this are bound to happen.

Are you sure someone didn't fill out the proper requisition forms, and you, or someone else misplaced them?

Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>54481025
>I'd attempt to cast smite on the man

Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>54481028
> puts on jeweler glasses
>examines
well there's your problem
your gravitic accelerator has bit it
I have a spare though I have no idea if I will be able to successfully replace it without being a psyker let me just get my wraithbone wrench and my work robes
>rollan for repair success

Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>54481025
>She tackles the poor marine and begins to drag him into the shadows to take him to the underhive
YOU ARE LAG'S NOW

Rolled 64, 46 = 110 (2d100)

>>54481101
FOR ALPHERIOUS

[rolling to kill this fucker and run]

Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>54481137
>Rolling to kill you with smite

>>54481049
>she stares at him
My paperwork is always right. It's like it's magic or something...

>>54480967
I swear, if none of those fuckers have a r-roulette table I'm gonna be pissed.

>>54481003
Nice for you, perhaps. And 'kind and gentle' is subjective - your mere p-presence causes me great mental *cough* and physical pain.

>>54481004
>he reaches into his coat and slaps down a handful of thrones
Bah, might as w-well. I'll take whatever *wheeze* this'll get me.

Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>54481137
SUBMIT TO LAG'
Rolling to knock him out

>The ship's innercoms would crackle to life at this point. A loud voice booming over it.

>"All hands. We will be transitioning into real space shortly. I repeat, all hands. The Eagle's Fury will be transitioning into realspace shortly."
>"Guardsmen companies 2, 3, 5, 6, and 11. Please proceed to your assigned Devourer class drop-ship."

>>54481159
I have a mini-roulette table. I found it in a crate, How fun!

>>54481096
Huh, thanks! Is there a payment I have to do? Or what?

>>54481159
Hmm very good customer
>Gives a pecket of catachan drugs
>>54481146
Good day honorary gunnery sergeant, captain wanted me to see you

Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>54481162
>with the bow that would kill most men, did it break the poison casual in his tooth?


[rolling 50+]

>>54481096
Fixed it
a fine piece of work if I do say so myself
need anything else fixed or procured?

>>54481192
>the strike broke the poison pill, but more it hit the suits self destruct, causing it to explode with the force of an astartes plasma grendae

>>54481192
Shame,you could have made a decent slave
>she leaves the ship because fuck you i'm making a guardsman

Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>54481220
>ATTEMPTS TO TRY TO CAST SMITE ON HIM
>will probably fail

>>54481166
>>54481159
>>54481146
>Matthias' voice would boom out after the speakers had cut off.

Alright people-

>He would shoulder his hellgun, and put on his helmet.

-You all heard the music! Time to dance! Third, sixth, and 11th companies, on me! The rest of you had better proceed to your assigned dropships!

>>54481146
>He would plant a quick peck upon his wife's cheek. A smile on his face as he jogs off.

I'll see you once we're on planet! Don't be late!

>>54481241
>I'd follow the Captain into battle, having my utmost trust in him that he will lead us to be successful

>>54481241
Does the humble stryx merchant have to go too, honorable captain?

>a lone Guardsman stumbles aboard the ship,confused and most likely drunk
Where the fuck am I...who the Hell are you people?

>>54481201
I will get back to you on that, thanks by the way. Also that wraithknight should be stored with the arms in a more relaxed position to prevent melding. *rushes off to the devourers*

>>54481283
You've been assigned to eleventh company. Of course you have to go.

>>54481261
Hussel up Psyker! We've got the navy waiting on us!

>>54481180
Eh, guess that's some consolation. H-Here's hoping it survives the landing.

>>54481191
Always a p-pleasure, xenos scum.

>>54481304
You're in Hell, we're the sinners. Now come on, we're droppin' in five.

>>54481320
Hey are you the Captain...You look like a captain to me

>>54481191
See me for what exactly?


>>54481241
Fucking work...
>she slides a powerfist on her hand and squeezes it before gettimg her gear

Rolled 45 (1d100)

FEEL THE EMPERORS LIGHT!
>I'd attempt to cast a power which enhances the speed and reflexes of fellow HUMAN IMPERIAL GUARDSMEN and other higher ranking HUMANS

>>54481241

>secreted in the drop pod, I wait for the landing so I may continue my mission, the assassination of a key chaos leader

>>54481338
Sur yes sirr...Wait where are we droppin' sarge?

>>54481320
Where do you want me? Aside from the other end of a bayonet of course.

Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>54481358
>re-rolling for the atmosphere

>>54481320
Of course honorary captain
>Pull out an aether rifle out of his robe
>>54481355
You have to ask him honorary sergeant, I know as much as you do

>The man shoots to his feet, dazed and confused
WHA- Where am I? Medical inspections... paperwork... where did my empty ink bottles go? Why do I have more money? Whats happening?

>>54481378
Great... I'm a babysitter. You know how to stay alive?
>she slides her hair inside her krieg gasmask and grabs a grav-chute
Take one. We may need it.

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>The ship's innercoms speakers, would once again crackle to life. The same voice from before booming loudly over it.

>"Transitioning into realspace in 10... 9.... 8... 7..."
>A few moments later, the ship would transition out of the chaotic empyrean that is the Warp, and into the calm of realspace. Calm being rather subjective in this case.
>The ship would shudder and shake, and it is impacted by something externally. It's shields buckling, but holding.
>It appears a massive space battle is going on around the planet.
>A moment later the male voice would speak up once more.

>"Armoured Companies four and seven, please board your assigned Devourer drop-ships. Mechanised Companies 1 and 9, please report to your assigned Devourer drop-ships."

Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>54481361
>he straps himself in
Some church-run shithole that's currently being taken over by the forces of darkness. Ya know, the usual stuff.
>he takes a box of lho-sticks out of his pocket and offers one to the private

>>54481360
>rolling for perception

>>54481389
Ah yes, that's the k-kinda attitude a guardsman should have. Glad to see you're picking this up well, Mr Morvos.

>>54481444
I can assure you honorable sergeant that I don't need babysitting, this stryx merchant has lived through much.
Maybe it has something to do with my disguise as a quartermaster to fool the commissar

>>54481471
does that mean...me too?

>>54481477
*sits down next to him while snorting space meth*
FHUCK YHES
LETS DO THAT

>>54481471
>I'd get into my assigned drop shit, putting my drop-gunshield in

>>54481530
gum*

>>54481477
If you say so, sergeant.
>the man pushes his crate into the transport, straining against the weight

>>54481486
Well seems we're both in disguise then. Grab a grav chute. These ships have a tenancy to uhhh... detonate in high atmosphere on occasion.

>>54481477
>he takes it,and smiles at the sergeant
So i'm gonna die? gotcha

>>54481598
Wait what did you just say about the ships?

>>54481530
fucker! You beat me too it!

>Matthias would store his gear, before taking his seat. Taking a moment to glance at the time, before pulling down his safety guards.
>Mere minutes at this rate. Navy scrubs wet eprobably doing last minute flight checks, before take-off at this point.

>One of Matthias' men would tilt his head towards him, as far as their safety guards would allow him, before whispering in a hushed tones of voice.
>"Should we tell the new guys?"
>Matthias would smile, before shaking his head.

They have to earn that right first.

>>54481360
>looking around the dropship, he notices a glint of a visor far above his head
>he squints into the darkness, and sees the assassin clinging to the roof of the ship
>he gulps quietly

>>54481517
>he lights up a mankweed spliff and pokes it into an air intake
Getting ready for battle there, you knife-eared fuck?

>>54481567
Ya know, I'd help ya but... actually no, I wouldn't help ya. Harharharharhar.

>>54481610
>he chuckles under his respirator
Fast learner, this one.

>>54481633
Ima take that as a good thing,so where should i be sarge?
>he puts on his helmet and lights a cigar he pulled from his pocket

>>54481633
>the assassin notices this observation, and places his finger to where his lips should be before tapping his also nearly perfectly invisible pistol, and clambers inside the shuttle with next to no-one but van kleez noticing.

[waiting for drop]

>>54481633
DONT TALK TO ME OR MY CHILDREN EVER AGAIN
>>54481631
*begins locking kinetic mesh together to reduce damage in case of an impact*

>>54481618
>she pulls out a small booklet
Ahem... "These drop ships are the finest the imperial fleet has to muster so please buckle tightly an in event of a loud blasting sound close your eyes and pray because you got an express ship down. Do not put officers on the same ships as the meat ba-" ignore that last part. That's an officer note.

>>54481664
Sit tight f-for now - if we're lucky, we head to base and get a briefing on who and what we're meant to be shooting at. If we're unlucky, we drop into the middle of a battle and are immediately shredded. Ya feelin' lucky?

>>54481719
>he tries to avoid looking at him, a bead of sweat forming on his brow

>>54481751
No I am Not feeling lucking that's certain..I'm feeling hangover for sure though!

>>54481750
It still shocks me how little value you people put on an individual life.
Is it too late to fly by raider?

>>54481751
>the man ungracefully drops into the seat next to van Kleez, sweating and panting, before buckling himself in

>>54481631
>A crackling voice sounded from speakers set in the ceiling.
>"Bay doors open. Locks released. Engines engaged. Activating onboard gravitational systems in three, two, one…”
>Matthias would relax his body, as the Onboard gravitational fields of both the Eagle's Fury, and the drop-ships, overlapped. Forcing everyone onboard the ship to momentarily endure double the usual gravity.
>Soon enough however, the feeling would disappear, as the drop-ships began to desend towards the planet's surface. The massive ship occasionally shaking and shuddering, as it signed and weaved passed debris, and ship based cannon fire.

>"Bay doors cleared, firing thrusters. Beginning descent. Breaching thermosphere in ten, nine…”
>Matthias would open up the company vox channel, and would speak into it.

Drop 'em, if you got them, lads. This one's gonna be brutal.

>After saying this. Matthias, alongside a small minority of the more veteran members of the infantry company's, would pull something small from their pockets, before inserting it into their mouths.
>A dastardly smile coats each of their faces, as they stare at the new guys.

>>54481812
>Turns his head around
Am I missing something?

>>54481812
>the man looks over to the vet's, noting the bulges on their mouths
>he quickly pulls a large wad of rolled up parchment, and clamps his teeth down on it

>>54481812
>noting the captains grin, I tilts my head to the side and wait for the ride to stop, my suit and enhanced form more than compensating for the pods......less savoury effects

>>54481850
>He would flash the man a smile. His teeth encased in some sort of rubber coating.
>He would appear to be wearing a gumshield. The kind of thing boxers, and hand to hand combat practitioners would wear during a fight.
>He would remove it momentarily, in order to speak.

Enjoy the ride, Astropath.

>He would reinsert the protective guard into his mouth, mere seconds before the ship began to violently shake.
>Anyone not wearing one as of this post, please roll a d100 for me!

>>54481812
*resisting the urge to puke*

>>54481812
Oh boy
>A hunched over, hooded figure slowly walks out of transport
Now...

>>54481776
Very late.
>she tosses the eldar a pill.
Take it. It'll grow you a pair before you hit planetside.

>>54481924
>>54481776
eh relax I gave this ship a good check before I got in
if your in the same ship as me you know it wont explode

Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>54481912

>>54481945
>Loses most of his teeth
Hmm cheap things
>Takes the replacement teeth from the coat
Goof fing I have replacements

>>54481924
Alright everyone!! Listen up. Because I've lost a bet and various other bad decisions. I have a reward for one of you. Whoever brings me the biggest deamon head gets to be flashed by yours truly
>she lays her fingers on her chest.

>>54481984
Thot begone

>>54481984
I have nothing better to die for! time to get a daemon head

>>54481984
>In between replacing his teeth
Hmm if they are this desperate
>Writes "Sell sex dolls" in the order list

Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>54481984
*roll resistance while in heavy kinetic mesh armour*
Mon'kleigh tits.
Lewd

Rolled 35 (1d100)

[hope my luck stays with me]

Rolled 11, 96 = 107 (2d100)

>>54481912
>any psyker near her would feel a slight pressure as the vibrations seem to ignore her

>>54482063
>>54481945
>A particularly nasty moment of shaking, would cause these two to chip away the vast majority of their teeth, and causing them to repeadly bite the inside of their own cheeks, into a bloody, fleshy mess.

>>54482038
>He would find himself rather able to keep from chipping his teeth. However a particularly nasty moment, would cause him to bite down, and break off a single piece of tooth before accidentally swallowing it.
>Ouch.
>Still waiting on everyone else's rolls, before we get to the planet's surface.

Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>54482120
>Spits out blood and teeth
Blooofy, cheap human shifs
>Takes out a box with ceramite replacement teeth
Good fing I'm always ready

>>54482120

>wincing from the impact, I disconnect my spy mask and spit the teeth fragments into a small bag before reattaching my mask and returning to invisibility, only 3 drops of blood hit the floor to show I had ever moved

>>54482114
What... the... fuck

>>54482162
>Other than two of his molars, and one of his front teeth, he doesn't get tommanage chipped teeth.

>>54482162
>>54482063
>>54482038
>>54481945
>Matthias and the other vets obviously want to break out in laughter at the sights before them.
>The vast majority of the men from his own company are chipping their teeth like no tomorrow. Hell! Several appeared to have chipped almost every tooth in their mouths!

>>54482114
>He would frown at the sight of his wife, idolly sitting there, as if nothing were happening.
>"Party pooper. She knew the drill, yet refused to join the fun. I'll have to have a word with her."

>>54482244
>Places replacement teetch inside
I 'anna see how you go without ammunition in the next battle.
Or luxury resources

>>54482244
>the man carefully removes the parchment he bit down on and the tooth bits from his mouth, and begins reading the ruined parchment
Food orders for... tshh tshh tshhh... please send urgently...
>the rest of the paper is a mess of bitemarks and saliva
Oh well, can't have been that important

>>54482244
>A voice would buzz in over the drop-ship's speakers.
“…three, two, one. Topospheric entry achieved. Height, nine thousand metres. All personnel brace for increased atmospheric buffeting. Touchdown in approximately nineteen minutes. Disengaging onboard gravitational systems. Switching to local gravity in three, two, one…”
>For a second time, Matthias would force himself to relax, as the gravitational fields of both eh shop, and the planet would overlap. Causing him to sink into his seat somewhat.
>A half moment later, gravity would return to "normal".
>With this, he would flash the locla vets a this up. Obviously still enjoying the show going on around them.
>This was a company tradition for him and his vets. He'll, a few people had placed bets on who would lose their teeth first.

>>54482229
What was that Marine?

>>54482244
Tell me when we drop.
>she smirks behind her gasmask

>>54482351
I AM GOING TO MINDFUCK YOU WHEN I GET THE CHANCE.
I WANT YOU TO KNOW THIS

>>54482353
>he mumbles from out of his gum shield
How you able to smile during this shit!?

>>54482286
>Matthias would wink at the xeno merchant, seated down the row.
>If he wanted to stick around. He was going to play by Imperial guard rules. Not his own.
>The drop-virgins should have done some research on this sort of shit before hand.

>>54482351
>rather disgruntled, or as disgruntled as an emotionally suppressed killer can be I open a link to the captains personal vox channel.

unit designation captain do you understand this transmission

>>54482392
Remember captain. luxuries such as food with taste are rarely allowed in guard, and even then in small numbers, yes.

>>54482353
Hold on...
Hold the fuck on...
*mentally screaming "DAEMONETTE ALERT in his head"
N-nothing.

>>54482374
>He, along every veteran in the 3rd company, would let out muffled chuckles at the angry Xeno.
>Served him right for being a filthy.
>>54482353
>Matthias would let out a muffled sigh.
>She was being a total "no fun allowed", party pooper.

>>54482385
Because this is an easy drop. No AA fire. No teleporting terminators. It's a breeze.
>she giggles
There's many worse trips we could be taking.

>>54482353
It doesn't m...matter...
>DAEMONETTE DAEMONETTE DAEMONETTE

>>54482473
*using telepathy*
ITS A FUCKING DAEMONETTE WHAT DO I DO I DONT WANNA GET FUCKING EATEN KILL IT FUCK FUCK FUCK

>>54482471
>he mumbles a little more
Guess you right,then again you offered to flash us so i think your crazy!

>after a short time, the drop-ship would begin to shake and shutter violently. As the navy swab, piloting it, would begin evasive maneuvers, to avoid being shot down by both enemy fighters, and ground based flak cannons.
>The harsh maneuvers, would force powerful gee's through the stomachs of every man aboard. As the sounds of the ship's lascannons returning fire, can be softly heard.

>>54482471
>Replaces the last tooth
So honorable sergeant, is there a place where I can set up a....resupply shop

>>54482471
>>54482503
Yep, an easy drop

Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>54482485
>using telepathy
QUICK LET'S CROSS-SMITE IT
>rolling to cast smite on Greymane

>>54482471
>>54482503
>Through clentched, gumshielded teeth.

'Ou 'e're sah'ing?

Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>54481912
>Rolling

>>54482536

>attempting the comms again, I attempt to raise the captain on his command network

captain do you understand this transmission? please confirm

>>54482535
*telepathy*
FUCK NO IM NOT USING ANYTHING MORE THAN TELEPATHY IN THE PRESENCE OF AN ACTUAL FUCKING SLANNESH DAEMON.

>>54482535
>A harsh and suddenly violent turn, would cause him to bash his head upon the back of his seat. Forcing his spell to not go off.

>A few moments later, the maneuvers would cease, and a voice would speak up.

"All personel, be advices, we are approaching the drop-site. Engaging landing gear in ten... Nine... Eight... Seven..."

>A few moments later, the ship would shake, as it lands upon the surface of the planet. The headguards around everyone's heads, would rise up. Releasing them from their seats.

Alright! Hussel up lads! Grab your gear, and begin moving out equipment! We should be at a firebase, just outside the capital city.

Sixth company! Head down to the hold, and begin shuttling out our equipment!

Third company! Grab your gear, and move out!

>>54482605
Wait, I'm a bureaucrat, why did I get on the dropship to a warzone? Shit, fucking clones drugging me with LSD

>>54482569
>He would nod his head at this.

I hear you, Assassin. I'm surprised your superiors felt the need, to have one of you assigned too our little regiment.

Still... I'm not going to complain about a compatent sniper.

>>54482556
>>54482605
>Gets up and stretches, his mouth bleeding but his teeth mostly intact

>>54482487
That's a very good thought!


>>54482511
You can set it up near the canteen on plantside.
>the evasive flying causes her to tumble and slide down the seating hall
FUCK!!

Rolled 90 (1d100)

>I'd attempt to buff everyone here, of all races, other than daemons, giving them enhanced reflexes, strength and speed

>>54482605
>he spits his gum shield out,and starts running to the exit
Sir yes sir,as long as i never need to do that again!

>>54482641
>He would pocket away his mouth guard. A smile on his face, as he pats the Astropath's back.

Looks like you enjoyed the ride after all. Atleast you aren't a drop-virgin anymore.

>>54482662
I guess im a good flirt the huh!
>he cowers somewhat
please don't kill me yet

Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>54482664
>excited, I dash out of the ship and rise into the air with my corsair jetpack
OH YES I AM LOVING THESE DRUGS!
*roll to inject combat stims*

>>54482664
>His stretch goes too far as his muscles suddenly strengthen, sending him face first to the ground
>>54482684
Eh, it was better than my first walkabout after all.

>>54482673
Get used to it, trooper! You're in the guard now!

>>54482662
>Once the ship had landed. Matthias would help his wife up to her feet.

I believe that's karma for not playing along with Company tradition, Sergeant.

>He would plant a peck on her forehead, before motioning for her to follow.

Come on. We've got work to do.

>>54482664
>the man pushes his box from the ship, with considerably less effort than it took to push it on

>>54482662
Be careful potential costumer
>Takes out a tablet
>>54482684
Captain would you like some...special tools for this operation? You can pay for them later, yes

>>54482733
Sir yes Sir!
>he runs out of the ship,lasgun in hand

>>54482738
>He would shake his head.

Just grab your gear, and set up shop. You assist Gunnery Sergeant Wyvern with it.

>>54482810
Hmm as you wish

>>54482635
>clicking his broken teeth together I continue

I am not for your regiment, I am here for a target. you will help terminate this target with your regular offensive, I shall provide overwatch this is what is provided. if you do well, my mission shall be extended. may I ask how you knew I was a vindicar?

>the monotone voice is coloured with interest

you know invisible to all but vankleez, the vox don't haver ID signals. just wondering

>>54482810
Dearest~ you wanma lead or should I?
>she thumbs the safety on the plasma gun and smiles

>>54482851
>Matthias would activate his vox bead, before speaking.

Because, Assassin. They warned us that we were getting one of you, during our last resupply.

>>54482894
>Fucking daemonette bitch. Nobody will ever believe me that she is a daemonette

>>54482894
>He would flash his wife a smile, before nodding his head, and exiting the troop compartment, and into the storage hold below.

Try to keep out of trouble while I'm gone, Sergeant. I don't want to hear any complaints about you trying to "liberate" another Regiment's equipment.

>With that, he would begin giving orders to his men, to have them unload the company supplies, and vehicles.

>Set's up a big tent
>Draws a marker for the landing craft
>>54482894
Hornorable sergeant, will you actually stay here or go into battle?

>>54482851
ignore the spoilers]

>>54482908
hmph don't die captain

>i sever the vox feed and I make my way to a good overlook

>Wanders about, whistling through the new cracks in his teeth, as his hands work on a ball of silver
>It seems he made the silverware he stole into bullets for his pistol

File: Scribe.jpg (235KB, 687x1040px) Image search: [Google]

235KB, 687x1040px

>the bureaucrat would set his crate in a position with a decent view of the landing zone, then place his large metal briefcase on the ground and opening it, causing it to unfold into a large upright typewriter
>He would flex and crack his fingers, before rapidly typing a list with one hand, and filling in a stack of forms with the other

>>54482977
Please don't tell me that this is what qualifies as a typing machine in this backward Imperium.
You are joking.
Please tell me you are joking.

>>54482924
>she waves at the marine

>>54482942
Wait... I'm NOT getting deployed!?

>>54482944
Normally the quartermasters go into combat as well but if we're told not then we're free~

>>54482944
Are you ready to actually do business or are you going to continue being a prick?

Sir where the fuck am i to be
you did not tell me at all

>>54482956
>Matthias would raise a questioning brow at the man.

I wasn't aware that the Munitorum had issued us pure silver bolt rounds. I would have brought a bolt pistol instead.

>>54482977
See about ordering us in, another two hundred or so gum Shields, while you're at it, Adept.

We wouldn't want a repeat of today, now would we?

>>54482953
Same to you, Assassin.

>>54483008
>is not a marine

>>54483027
Your mission is to kill daemons. Fuck em up.

>>54483013
>Growls and spits on the floor
What do you need...eldar?
>>54483008
Excellent honorable sergeant, I already requesitioned the basic munitorum supplies, yes.
But...there are different things I could get...for a price,yes.

>>54483005
>He looks up at the corsair for less than a second, before motioning to a small plaque on the typewriter, reading "Please fill in forms D34.988 & F55.54478 before talking to the operator of this machine"
>>54483039
>The adept nods curtly before resuming his typing and writing

>>54483050
Understood,but where are those daemons at?

>>54483039
Bolt pistol? I don't think this qualifies.
>raises his primitive, muzzle-loaded flintlock pistol for which the bullet is made for

>>54483055
Well I can't help but notice that I do not own a melee weapon of any kind. At all.
You would not happen to own a gravity blade would you?

>>54483008
I never said that, Darling. I'm telling you to stay out of trouble, while I go talk to the local commander, and see where we might be best put too use.

After all, they didn't drop us off at the front lines. Something else must be going on.

>>54483062
Talk to the quartermaster.

>>54483087
I have an aether blade...eldar, but anyways what do you need exactly?
If you want the blade you'll have to wait 'till midnight, but it'll cost you

>>54483060
Now this is just beurocratic incompetence!

>>54483100
who is that?

>>54483070
>He would merely chuckle at the man.

I'm referring to the fact, that you've got bullets made of pure silver rounds. Usually, that sort of stuff is done with bolt rounds.

>>54483122
The correct question, is "what" is that.

>>54483117
>The adept shrugs

>>54483142
Ah, right... Well, as I am blind, few people would trust me a gun at all.

>>54483122
>A hooded and robed figure comes from behind
That would be me honored biped
Now what would you like?
I have plenty to sell,yes

>>54483162
So "what" is the Quatermaster and where are they?
>>54483189
oh i just want to know where the daemons are,and fuck it do you have anything that would help me not die

>>54483176
>He would smile.

Fair enough, I suppose. Although, it does leave me curious, as to why you were given pure silver pellets in the first place.

>>54483210
Well one of the quartermasters is an alien, the other a daemon. Have fun finding out which, it's not hard.

>>54483046
i was thinking Primaris Librarian

>>54483055
Hey. Be nice while he's on our side. And tell him i got some of his darker cousin's pistols

>>54483093
So start getting the fortifications up, got it.

>>54483233
wait a Daemon? the fuck why do we have a daemon here? i was told to kill some daemons not get orders from them

>>54483210
>Extends a coat and show's some exotic weapons and devices
What would you buy?
>>54483233 and don't trust him, he's an eldar

>>54483255
anything that would save my fucking life!

>>54483243
>He smiles, before planting a kiss on her cheek.

You know me so well, Darling! I doubt anyone other than a psyker reading my mind, would have guessed that's what I wanted to hear.

>>54483219
Hmm... I would say that is a privilege of the job. Acquisition of materials is often simple, and then I only need to shape said materials.

>>54483253
It's a fucking slanneshi daemonette. I just stay away from it. Kill it if you want but I'm pretty sure that you will just end up getting raped to death by it.

>>54483307
>He would raise a brow at this. More intrigued than anything.
>He would remain silent for a moment, before speaking up.

If I don't see, nor hear about it, then it never HAPPENED. Understood, Astropath?

>>54483243
Sight
>>54483233
Eldar, honorable gunnery sergeant has the pistols you asked
>>54483270
Hmm, well then honorable biped, I can give you a personal power shield, it can deflect anything short of a heavy weapon...it does take a minute to recharge and will deflect only one daemon sword strike before needing to be recharged, but what would you buy it with?

>>54483366
What is your price for it?

>>54483366
I already have four pistols, two from commoragh and two from the craftworlds. I don't want any more pistols.

>>54483392
What can you offer?

>>54483350
Of course. However, seeing as you are both smart and understanding,I find myself in something of a debt of gratitude. Should you find something I can make into more useful things or my other services required, I will do so with all of my skill.

>>54483366
Let's get everything set up. Where's those servitors...

>>54483306
Remind me to murder you later.
>she rubs her temples

>>54483350
I have received a call from the main command in the Astra Telepathica sir. I am to be located at their main base on this planet at once. I will not be too long I hope

>he walks down a corridor wondering where the hell he left his kit.
>He sees an eldar, a daemon, astropaths mingling with the troops and other foul acts
>"I must be on the wrong ship"

>>54483538
In the back of the transport, near the engines, yes.
>Looks at a piece of paper and signs on it

>>54479953
But commissar, our refractor field gorgets mean we have no armour to inspect and our volkite culverins are maintained on rota by the tech adepts, surely this time would be better spent training in the enviro-domes

>>54483582
I hope you used the right colour ink for that

>>54483603
Worry not honorable scribe, this ink changes colour acording to my whishes, yes.
I can get you some if you are willing to pay, yes.

>>54483466
>He would beignw skiing away, waving his hand.

Like I said. I never heard, nor saw anything about your hobbies.

>>54483538
>He would smile.

Now if I did that, then we wouldn't be married anymore, now would we.

Anywhom. Stay out of trouble until I return. I shouldn't be too long.

>>54483561
Trooper! What in the Emperor's name are you doing over there? You realise we're in middle of a warzone!

>>54483548
>He would nod his head at the man.

Keep out of trouble, psyker. I'll need you at your best.

>>54479987
>q-q-quartermaster? We are being held for kit inspection, and I-I need a full field kit sir dae- sir

>>54483632
Honorable trooper, we are in the warzone so you overslept the kit inspection, yes.
I won't tell the commissar if you give me...50 thrones, yes

>>54483631
>he runs over in a panic, his reality popped like a bubble
>he did it again, those guard issue anti-fear stimulants really needed a label for how many you should take.
AYE SIR!

>>54483675
I have
dice+1d100
thrones

>>54483779
[try again]

>>54483626
Hmm... maybe, maybe... What is it you want?

>>54483845
The ink is...expensive, I would require seven yellow quills, yes.

>>54483693
>The guardsmen would feel a firm, metal hand, placed upon his shoulder.
>Should he turn his head to see what was behind him. He would find (picture from >>54481003 ), behind him. A warm smile on her face.

Guardsmen? Is something the matter? You seem as if you're about to have a panic attack any moment now.

Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>54483836

shit

>>54483856
Hah, you got yourself a deal
>the man reaches deep into his coat, pulling out what looks like a leather bound book
>Upon opening the container, it contains 10 long quills, each tipped with a deep yellow feather

>>54483893
Want some thrones my good man? All you need to do is take out a loan!
I can offer you 33 thrones with only 2(000000)% monthly interest!
Interested?

>>54483866
>>54483675
>looks at the sister, at daemon, back and forth
>figures still some hallucinatory effects from drugs from field meds
"I- erm, I think I need to see a medicae"
>panicking internally at not having the thrones

>>54483959
[I'm not a daemon, i'm a xeno]

>>54483959
Look I can help you, here are some actual drugs so you can be totally sure that you are tripping. I don't want you to be confused.

>>54483974
[effect of drugs]
>>54483981
>still certain hes tripping, but not willing to trust even the hallucination of an eldar
"no'sfine"
>beads of sweat

>>54483908
Excellent honored scribe
>Takes 10 quills
>Takes out a 5 litre bottle of ink
>Does something on his tablet
You will get 9 more of these after midnight

>>54483959
>She would look the man in the eye. Wondering if he was shell shocked, from fighting on planet.
>When she didn't see the proper signs of such things. She would simply flash him a warm smile.

You must be a new guy. Just calm down, and take a deep breath, alright? You're going to be fine.

You're just seeing if our more... Unsual, faces, here in the "Unknown Regiment". We've got quite a few Xenos, and miscreants around here. We seem to be a mix of guardsmen, and soldiers from all over, and outside the Imperium of man.
>She would flash the man a playful wink.

Just don't tell Commissar Knochenmus that.

>>54484023

if you want, feel free to join the discord page, if you aren't already in it.
https://discord.gg/qtkps

>>54484027
Fuck yeah, those'll last me 3 whole months!

File: primarispsyker.jpg (241KB, 640x952px) Image search: [Google]

241KB, 640x952px

>Halls would be visible from all in the base, on the ridge. He is currently blasting back a horde of cultists coming towards me. The Psyker would be sporting a giant golden stave doubling as a golden Vexilla, and a new plated coat to add into the mix. The warp lightning coming from his hand would glow a bright plasma-like blue, as it obliterated the cultists coming towards him
>He was making his way back to the base, hoping to find some support from those that are there

>Puts on a table and a sign "Shop's open"
>Sits down

>>54484160
*boosting over*
How bad is it looking out there?

>>54484160
>he's sitting on a crate of ammo puffing on a spliff and watching the distant carnage
Well what do ya know, H-Halls got a promotion.

>>54483428
i have 50 crowns

>>54484368
>Takes the thrones
>Gives the shield
Pleasure doing business honorable biped

>>54484023
Oh, a new guy.
>he looks closer
A new guy who's high as fuck. Even better!

Rolled 3, 20, 12, 18 = 53 (4d20)

>>54484160
>From outside the base, the man would see a momentary shine from a bush, before a bolt round would fly past. Narrowly grazing his right ear.
>This is followed quickly by a hail of bolter fire and lasers, as Chaos space marines, and heretic forces begin charging towards the firebase.

>>54484160
>A suqad of foul chaos space marines would take cover, and fire their bolters at at the Pysker. -1 to hit the psyker, vs -1 to be hit by anything. First roll
>>54484180
>A squad of foul traitor guardsmen would begins firing upon the alien merchant, screaming chants and vowing to grant his blood to Khorne. Second roll
>>54484135
>A squad of heretics would run up, firing stunner pistols at the adept. Each one screaming how they will cover their bodies in his loyalest blood. Third roll.

>>54484023
>A squad of heretic cultists would fire their stubbers at Thel hoping to kill the foul loyalist! Fourth roll

>>54484471
>vigorously reading the primer to see if they give any damn instructions for the meds
"sir, do you know where the nearest medicae is?"

>>54484399
well i guess that worked
>he tries the put the shield on
How the fuck does this work?

Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>54484492
Roll to dive for cover?

Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>54484492
>I would soar directly above the marines and lay them low with shuriken fire from the skies

MAEL DANNAN

Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>54484492
Oh thats a thing,this sheild better fucking save me!
>he fires into the crowd

Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>54484546
wrong die
>dive for cover

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>54484492
>Falls down
Arrh my eye
>Take out and aether rifle and fires

Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>54484492
SHIT!
>The man would frantically kick the side of his typewriter, reverting it back to its briefcase form, then dive backwards towards his crate
>rolling for how good he is at not being shot

Rolled 31 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>54484492
>I'd send a shockwave of warp lightning towards the black legion

>>54484516
Yes indeedy, she's r-right *cough* over there >>54484065
A word of w-warning, staple all your clothes *wheeze* to your body and if she asks you to bend over, run.

>>54484492
...Although the doctor's appointment may have to w-wait.

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>54484627
SARGE! we need help!
>he fires more shots at the cultists

Rolled 12 (1d20)

>with my first shot missing by several centimetres, i line up another shot at a sergeants head

Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>54484659
Hm? You need... ah y-yeah, the heretics. SHIT!

>>54484492
>he dives behind the ammo crate he was sitting on and returns fire

Rolled 13 (1d20)

Okay it seems i can do something!
ima shoot him again!

Rolled 14, 12, 6, 10, 11, 3 = 56 (6d20)

>>54484587
>A handful of cultists go down, but more seem to appear from the treeline. Rushing towards him

>>54484553
>The guns break down.

>>54484554
>The shot goes flying off, and misses.
>>54484570
>The closest cover, is too far to dive for it would seem.

>>54484599
>His shit manages to knick a traitor guardsmen in the kneecap. Causing him to scream in pain as his leg is severed.

>At this point, a squadron of Leman Russ battle tanks, each one now covered in spikes, and eight pointed stars, would follow past the treeline, towards the fire base.

>>54484627
>A sqaud of heretic cultists, would fire las pistols at the chemdog. Screaming how he shall soon die. First roll.
>>54484613
>Considering his spell had failed. The Astartes would charge swords him. Knives and chain swords revving as they engage in melee 2nd roll, +1 to attack.

>>54484599
>The cultists continue to pour towards him. Stubbers pistols firing wildly at him.y third roll

>>54484554
>The three Leman Russes would fire their man battlecannons at the only location the sniper rounds could be coming from. +1 to hit due to massive shells. Fourth roll.
>>54484553
>Stubbers rounds would be fired in his general direction, as cultists flood towards him. Fifth roll.

>>54484517
>Traitor guard would fire las weapons at the poor private. Final roll.

Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>54484794
>He start's firing at the guardsmen
Damned chaos cultist, always so hard to trade with!

Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>54484794
DANNAN
FOR THE PLACE I ONCE CALLED HOME!
*roll for orbital void strike, it's basically a warpish doom laser*

Rolled 7 (1d20)

>>54484794
>Awed for a split second that a curse in low gothic managed to remove a mans leg, the adept finally pulls his unweathered laspistol from its holster and fires into the crowd of cultists, whilst simultaneously fleeing for the relative safety of the drop ships

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>54484794
HAHA I AM ALIVE!
SUCK IT FUCKERS
>firing even more shots into them

Rolled 36 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>54484794
>As they came towards me, I'd attempt to open up a warp portal below their feet

Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>54484794
Come an' have a go, ya filthy heathens!
>he carries on blasting at the approaching cultists

Rolled 8, 8 + 2 = 18 (2d20 + 2)

>>54484794
>with most missing but exploding near, with excruciating pain accompanying their hits, i move to relocate, firing a burst of an exodus pistol's clip i, run for a new location

[first for running to new cover, second for pistol