First Contact Goes Weird

>>54400913
Terminate, colonize and exploit planet, rinse and repeat. It's the safest option.

>>54400913
>Softcore
delet

It sounds like they just presented whatever was lying around their room. Things certainly aren't looking good for them.

>>54401307
>>54401306
>>54401289

These were the things that were used by the “Brilliant” minds of the Inter Planetary Project in Santa Fe to represent humanity in the face of a hypothetical Alien Tribunal.

Proof of Love in the form of gentle sex between humans.
A Telescope to represent humanity’s desire to explore and seek knowledge.
An old scifi film and crooner’s music to represent love and wanderlust.
And funeral rites to prove that humans care for their dead.

It was… weird.

>>54401410
I still think demonstrating our basic tech level, some art, and a variety of seeds would probably go further

>>54401453
True, but as Neal Stephenson pointed out, whatever we show as proof of our race being worthwhile had better be mind-blowing to the alien race that has a very apparent god-complex.

>>54401504
Frankly I would be surprised if would could really offer them anything that would seem remotely valuable to them that isn't land or some form of art/entertainment. The logistics of finding and arriving on another planet would pretty much always mean we're completely at their mercy, but it's not like there's any sort of example of a completely alien culture's advancements at such a level and what it might have completely skipped along the way

>>54401530
To go off of old HFY threads, I’d say we’d have to convince them we’re a bunch of weapons that have become self-destructive due to disuse. With nothing guiding us or uniting us against a common foe, we’ve just sorta started killing one another due to purposelessness. Maybe they’d take pity and find things for us to kill.

>>54401591
I can't really imagine a worse fate than being turned into a living weapon by aliens, but I imagine to some people that might just sound like getting power armor and a laser rifle

>>54401623
Oh yeah, it’s absolute foreign slavery… But Jetpaaacks~!

>>54401646
I'd be all for it if it was jetpacks and lasers, but the thing is you really don't have much say in if they surgically remove your legs and hook the jetpack into your spine while giving you treatments that replace your sex drive with a pleasant sensation every time you kill or follow an order

>>54401591
Jesus christ... Humans are the REAL Orcs....

>>54401672
We Nier: Automata?

>>54400913
I'd ask them if they had any precursors and if they needed a hug.

>>54400913
We'd have to show them unique to known universe; something no other race an possibly make or use. Invisible thread.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWYNcqwjhEA

tl;dw there is no invisible thread; it's just a magic trick. Humans are the greatest con men in the galaxy. HFY.

Daily reminder that le hoomanity furk yegh xdxdxd cringecucks almost certainly can't do a six minute mile or bench press their bodyweight and need to somehow feel proud just of being born lol

>>54401410
Surely having the aliens visit a high quality museum would cover all that and more in a far better way?

>>54403579
Daily reminder that using the word "cringe" or any variation of it unironically marks you as an outsider.

>>54403714
Sorry cringecuck, I've been here since world2ch. It's not my fault the truth hurts beta virgins lol

>>54401738
not in the slightest.

>>54401678
That's for sure, humans are closer to the orks than any other race in 40k

Including humans

>>54401410
>proof of love
That... that isn't proof of love, and proof of reproduction is pretty well provided by the aliens just looking at the fact that we exist.

>>54401646
Woolie please

>>54401672
>treatments that replace your sex drive with a pleasant sensation every time you kill
Just gimme the Nails and point me towards the enemy.

Introduce them to facehuggers then wait and see what kind of xenomorph that pops out of them.

File: coulditbeyou.jpg (95KB, 329x200px) Image search: [Google]

95KB, 329x200px

>>54403579
>>54404126