The Happy GM

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I feel little but spite and malice towards my players

>>54373381
I got a few great stories, but generally my players are good players and fun people. I look forward to playing with them each week

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>>54373381
Players annoy me more than not. And you can tell most of the people on here are the retarded players that are annoying as well.

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>>54373381
>Create custom magic item "Soaring Hammer"
>Highland-Games style throwing hammer, but as soon as its thrown it tethers itself to the user while maintaining its velocity, essentially allowing them to throw themselves
>Was meant to be a utility item for crossing long distances, nothing more
>First combat encounter since obtaining it, our fighter asks to throw himself at a giant spider
>Quickly stat the hammer in a panic
>Torpedoes into the spider for 8 damage, thoroughly obliterating it
>Have only had a few sessions since then, but the first round of each combat encounter starts with him launching himself across the room, usually into an enemy
>Once completely foiled an ambush I had set up by crashing through a wooden wall, creating a shortcut for everyone to flank through

I don't think he's even touched his sword since then.

>>54375272
>>Create custom magic item "Soaring Hammer"
>>Highland-Games style throwing hammer, but as soon as its thrown it tethers itself to the user while maintaining its velocity, essentially allowing them to throw themselves
>>Was meant to be a utility item for crossing long distances, nothing more

Then why is it a fucking hammer?

>>54375318
Because wizards

>>54373381
My players have always been great. Even when they're doing horribly.

>>54375318
That's what they're called, and just referring to it as a ball and chain doesn't have the same ring to it.

Shadowrun 5e.
>Party is sent out by a contact to look for a NPC party
>NPC party was supposed to feed contact some information gained during another run
>Find last known location
>See obvious ambush-site
>After some looking around they find a clue
>The pizza-delivery-truck the NPC-Party had been using was covering up a manhole
>also, in a nearby building, find a discarded commlink w/ some bloodstains and after hacking it, some escape-routes
>one of them through the sewer-system
>my plan: Party should follow through sewers to look for tracks of the NPCs
>should stumble uppon/skillfully avoid ghouls, some police guys doing investigation down there and find the broken deck of the NPCs hacker.
>should at the end navigate to another manhole then is in the escape routes cause NPCs welded that one shut.
>"Nah, fuck the sewers, I don't wanna go through there, there's probably ghouls down there! We're driving to the endpoint"
>...why the fuck didn't I think of the easy solution?
>Me:"Uhhh...you do know you gotta pass through several district borders within Berlin"
>"According to the route you gave us, we could drive through these 3 anarcho-districts...there shouldn't be any Bordercheckpoints there"
>....
>And thus they avoided about an evening worth of encounters planned out.

Sure love it when they show me how retarded I am.

>One shot in Through the Breach: Into the Bayou
>Players are getting ready for a "right propa Hoedown, y'all"
>Need to get "gud eatin pigges" and "gud swigging Moonshine".
>they help the pig farmers by rounding up a bunch of escaped pigs.
>they sneak up onto the moonshiners, planning on stealing a whiskey Gamin. Think a barrel with a single wheel...
>It dowses them in Moonshine, getting them drunk. Then a Whiskey Golem walks up....
>it promptly gets covered in HIGHLY FLAMMABLE MOONSHINE
>THEY'RE NEXT IDEA IS TO SET THE GOLEM ON FIRE! ONE OF THEM IS "NATURALLY FLAMMABLE DUE TO A "PERK""
>Golem explodes, and the party sees me pick up my deck to start flipping a shitton of damage.
>First Gremlin turns to the second
>"Well Punchy Pete. This is it. Ah just hope your piggies survive."
>"Well Flamey Pete. I was plannin on landing on them. So probly not"
>The RP was so matter of fact, so accepting of their own mortality, I allowed them to try.
>BOTH MOTHERFUCKERS FLIP RED JOKER AND LAND ONTOP OF THE PIGLETS! THE PIGS FLIP TO RESIST DAMAGE AND SURVIVE ON 1 HEALTH LEFT!
>I was so shocked, i didn't let the gators attack them till they had a chance to heal up.