Field Kit Inspection: Commissars on ice Edition

>>54351447
"Commisar Cadet Adam, Reporting for duty sir!"
>Salutes his supieror
"Whats on the menu today?"

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>>54351447
*rogg is encased partially in ice and says nothing*

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>>54351447
"Commissar Sir! I'm afraid I was only given a pair of shorts and a coat, should I borrow some mitts from the medicae?"

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>>54351447
>He would mumble something under his breath.

Not exactly where I was expecting to go on my honey-moon.... Still, it could be worse I suppose...

>The man would snap out of it, before saluteing the Commissar.

The third company, is prepped and ready for war, Commissar! We shan't let those foul Orks desecrate the surface of of this world for long!

>>54351447
>Luciena is sleeping soundly inside the knights pilot seat, the knight itself lined up in her place in the lineup

>>54351513
Good thinking, Cadet! Just don't let the wool get caught in the chains of your chainsword! You won't have hands, let alone any mittens!

Greenskins, huh? Killed enough of those.

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>>54351566
*Roggs eyeball glares menacingly over in their general direction*

>>54351544
"Thank you, Sir! the Progena of Noxus V fame themselves of their, abilty to actually think."
"Where is our medic by the way, perhaps someone could take the time out their day, to show where this medic..person.."
>Walks off dowerly, his trusty servoskull following behind him.
"Wait, Sir! this came for you in the mail to day, it's a letter from my Schola Abbot!"

>>54351566
I'd suggest not getting cocky out here... The Orks aren't as stupid as you might think. They've likely adapted theose ramshackle vehicles of theirs, to work around the snow and ice.

...that, or they're winging it, like we do.

>>54351590
What's the eye-balling for, Ab-human? Lost your tongue?

>>54351447
Doomhammer reporting for duty sir! I sure as hell want to kill some greenskins! Anyways, after training some other regiments I am back. Also, the archmagos of a world game the regiment some cold resistant armor, as a gift.

>>54351614
>He would reach out, and take the letter. Curious as to what it says.

>>54351622
*Roggs tongue and entire body are frozen, save for his head.

>>54351540
>The knight starts to turn, completely disrupting the nice ordered lines if troops tbe Commissar spent so long making

>>54351621
Yes, I have fought many greenskins before.
>>54351622
Calm down. We must respect our abhuman brothers and sisters.

>>54351654
I uh, I said that in a pretty monotone voice, don't know if I need to be calmed Mr. Uh-- Doomhammer
>>54351645
Shit, someone get this fella defrosted

>>54351653
>There would be a harsh banging, coming from the cockpit door.

>>54351675
Lieutenant Doomhammer, friend.

>>54351639
>"Greetings, Commanding Officer of [Unknown Regiment] for taking in our special Progena Adam, He's a bit slow but his, loyalty to the emperor is assure, you have a 10 day return policy on him, after that, he's for keeps."
>The scroll would read along with a purity seal
>"P.S please give to Adam after his first kill."
>"P.P.S Thought for the Day: Only through death does duty end."

>>54351653
*dont step on me don't step on me don't step on me...*

>>54351689
Pipe down. We're about to fight greenskins, don't get your cock jammed in the door

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>The priest digs through a cardboard box with 'Emperor's Day Shit' scrawled on the side, before retrieving a sweater from its depths
Are you sure we can't go somewhere sunny? Or at least a planet with more than one biome

Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>54351653
"Hey yah fockin, tin can!"
>Dodges a foot that was about to step on him
>rolling to dodge

>the marines newly painted armour shimmers where the paint is rapidly freezing, the apocatherys only defining feature is now the white shoulder guard and the gothic I.

Reporting sir, and I can also report that the scout of the broken shields is capable of taking to the battle field but I advise against it

>>54351701
I bet you cannot... never mind. Anyways, I have a plan to attack the orks, and then a new dish for the Mess Hall, because rations are utter shit.

>>54351685
>the cockpit door is soundproof but it's unlocked

>>54351695
>it puts it's great foot over him, pushing down... but then decides to turn, not stepping on him

>>54351710
>he would be thrown into a random trooper, killing the trooper, getting the wind knocked out of him.
"Oof!"
>He stands up, his face now sporting a black eye were he faceplanted into the butt of lasgun.

>>54351691
>The Commissar would pocket the letter and it's contents for the moment, before shouldering his Thunderhammer, "Regiment's Might".

Very well! You may proceed, Cadet!

>>54351746
*frozen sigh of relief*

>>54351746
>The young Scout, opens up the cockpit, and would begin to shake the Cog-girl awake.

Magos! Wake up!

>>54351749
>Gives the large man a salute.
"Sir, yes!, Sir!"
>He marches off, to find the medic.
"I'm off to see the medic! the wonderful medic of Pretoria!"

>>54351774
>I sight the marine, and face palm before putting on my drill sergeant voice


WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? WHEN DID YOU GET OUT OF THE MED BAY?

>the vox almost shorts out with his yelling

>>54351774
>the red robed ball of tendrites all slap angrily at his hands trying to grab her

>>54351759
"You, you shall, help me!"
>He points to the large abhuman that he tried to kill, once before.
"Help me find this medic person!"

>>54351843
*is frozen*

>>54351825
>wakes up abruptly from tbe angry marine yelling
Who the fuck started a jet engine in my room...

>>54351831
>He would grab a fist full of snow, off the top of the machine, and would throw it at her.

You need to wake up, Magos!

>>54351861
>>54351863
>sprinting at them, almost every one can tell there will be some serious yelling if he catchs them.

I think now would be time for a comedic chase scean while you run from the very angry death watch man

Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>54351852
"Oh, are we playing 'freeze-grab'"
>Carves a little of the ogryns face out of the nice with his precision chainsword.
>Rolling to see effective it was/
"Don't worry, this won't hurt a bit."

>>54351843
>The young Hospitaller would walk up to the small boy. A warm smile on her face.

I'm here, I'm here!

>>54351880
>horribly loud scream as she pushes Nate out and slams the door shut, locking it
SCARY BIG DUDE!!!

>>54351897
"Hello!'
>Points to the frozen Orgyn, bleeding profusely from his head.
"He's may need your help first, I think someone tried to cut his head off."

Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>54351889
*would be scowling while trying to thaw*
*roll to thaw*

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>Vu Chen has converted a lasgun power pack into a heat lamp and is trying to keep warm

>>54351863
Fist of all I'm awake second of all its really hard to do my job while in winter robes let alone while people are Ursula at me second
Oh wait your taking to the other magos
Why agree there so.many other magi here

>>54351911
>Nathaniel would be pushed out of the cockpit. Causing him to fall fifty feet to the snow covered ground below.
>Thankfully, he would be alright. Granted, he is stuck in a four foot deep hole, shaped like him.

Rolled 13 (1d100)

>rolling for anal circumference

Rolled 49, 45 = 94 (2d100)

>>54351944
>>54351911
>the angry medic bull rushes the both of them


[I'm rolling to catch the both of them by the scruffs of their necks, first for the magos, second for the scout]

So, when do we go to war?

>>54351917
>>54351897
>The blood would melt away some of the ice.
"Medic! He's still bleeding! it's getting everywhere!"

>>54351950
>grabbing the scout from his hole, I narrowly miss the magos. and dragging the scout back to the med bay not many people in a 100 feet have intact hearing when the medic has finished his "talk" about how its stupid to risk hurting yourselves when he JUST cleared you for duty

>>54352046
>is hiding in the god machine of the knight

>>54351988
"Apparently when our ship is done, being repaired, by that guy."
>Points to every magos in the area.

>>54352088
>finished, I go stand at the perimeter having a secretive drink.

fucking hell. where's some green skins when you need them

>>54351999
Seeing as the other two medical people ate either a serial rapist or babysitting the imperiums worst magos and scout marine I guess it's my job
The ice shock on his system will make this touch and go expect no miracles
> rollan for how effective treatment is

>>54352150
Then what are they waiting for?
>I'd look to the Techpriests and Magos' now
FIX THE FRACKING SHIP, YOU FREELOADERS. YOU AREN'T HERE TO JOKE AROUND.

>>54352150
>The techpriest looks up from his activity of throwing cards into an overturned helmet, then goes back to throwing cards
>The helmet is completely empty, surrounded by at least 2 decks of cards

>>54352169
"Thank you miracle machine man, praise be the Omnissiah!"
>Runs over to V dog.

>>54352169
I'm fine, really. It's just pretty cold out here.

>>54352183
...You people do realise the ship is fine now, correct? Otherwise we wouldn't be standing on this freezing ball of ice.

>>54352191
"Mr.Douglas, What in the emperor's 12 sons are you doing?"
>Picks up a card,
"Jack of hearts."
"Thanks for the servoskull."

>>54352248
Actually the radio keeps cutting out but I wouldn't expect you to notice.

Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>54352169
>Dice eaten take two

>>54352248
"I still need my mittens! and to meet our other medics."
>Runs back to where Hospitaller Illya Mirabelle is standing.
>>54351897
"Hello sorry about that, I was side tracked by my Orgryn friend's need for a radical makeover, Can I have some mittens now?"

>>54352273
Fixed the radio
https://youtu.be/nFeF_yFtssk

>>54352267
No problem. I'm trying to throw these cards into the helmet because there's nothing to do on this giant fucking snowball, but I can't because it's so fucking windy and cold the cards freeze mid air and the oil in my joints is getting all fucked up.
>>54352273
Good, ever since you got smart all you want to do is blast orchestral music at 3,000 fucking decibels

>>54352248
Void me saying that

>>54352164
>she climbs down and immediately sinks waist deep into the snow
HELP!

>>54352248
Actually we do still need a new carpet for the officer's lounge. And I want to buy a new table for my kitchen, so I recommend we bail off this ball of frozen piss and go somewhere nice.

>>54352320
"But there are orks, we need to fight, look the other regiments have already started fighting!"
>A Cadian Karskin jogs by.
"Look the last of dying breed!"

>>54352320
It helps me think. You would not know what the sensation of thinking is even like. Do not question my choices.

>>54352337
>Scowling I walk over to the magos and bring up the tech preist up to my shoulders and I drop her on some solid ground.

don't drown in this shit

>>54352313
Booo! Play some classical!

>>54352350
Orks? I thought we were going to a wedding! I spent a months pay on that tuxedo for fucking nothing!

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>A figure wrapped in a camo cloak bearing a strange plasma gun sidles into view

"I feel quite drained. When will the killing begin?"

Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>54352355
"Ha! As if you can think!"
>makes sign of imperial aquila.
"Fine i'll just push you around"
>He runs behind the orgyn and starts to push him around, a massive gash in the snow forming behind them.
>Rolling for Adam strength

>>54352389
Excellent taste
https://youtu.be/XRU1AJsXN1g

>>54352412
>Pauses in pushing the 1 ton abhuman.
"And what world are you from trooper?"
"Rogg are you seeing this, who is this guy?"

>>54352420
*Rogg would look at the small man confused as he managed to slip and fall over while trying to push him*
Are you alright?

>I'd climb into my Leman Russ Battletank, with other crew following along
>The battletank would be equipped with a battle cannon, one lascannon built into the hull and two lascannon sponsons
>I'd start the engine of the Leman Russ, it purring like a tiger
>I'd place my commander cap onto my head, before cracking my neck and fingers
Ready lads?
>Ready!

>>54352434
Hmm? That's just the dark eldar guy that pops up now and then. Don't mind him, he only seems to want his raider.

>>54352434
"I'm from the mon'ke-HUMAN...world of Commo-...Commodia...?"

>pulls the camo cloak hood down lower.

"Awfully cold here."

>>54352460
>the marine stops dead

dark elder? where? where is the fucking xeno.

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>54352444

"I'm fine, but you are still."
>Actually takes a look at Rogg
"Encased in ice, not good."
>starts getting rough, jumping and running around the icecube, breaking pieces off of it.
>It's basically combat
>Adam swings his chainbeater into the arm of Rogg.
"Die ice, leave this man be!"

Rolled 16, 7, 2, 8, 13, 8, 13, 4 = 71 (8d20)

>>54352350
>Speaking of Orks. Upon the horizon, would appear dozens, if not hundreds of Orks. Each one decked out in snowboarding goggles, and carrying large contraptions of misdhapened, and amagalmated pieces of scrap, that could only be twin-linked shootas.
>A trail of smoke and exhaust follows behind them, as they rush towards the unsupsecting human forces, upon massive rokkits, and makeshift snowboards.
>In unison, they would be screaming oht.-

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!"

>-as their weapons begin to warm up, and spew forth lethal death.
>the first two sets of shots, are fired upon Rogga.
>The third and forth set of twin-linked guns, are fired as Cadet Adams.
>The fifth and sixth sets are fired upon Vandergeldus.
>The last two sets, are fired upon the apothecary.

>"DAKKA, DAKKA, DAKKA, DAKKA, DAKKA, DAKKA, DAKKA, DAKKA, DAKKA, DAKKA, DAKKA, DAKKA, DAKKA!!!"

>>54352365
T-thank you... it's deeper than i thought...
>her tendrites furiously flick the snow off her body

>>54352480
Well that took a while. And I'm only mildly bleeding, that's a new record! Hey do you hear that noise?

>>54352471
"I know that world, It's filled with commodies!"
>Heres gun fire
"what the."
>>54352489
"HIT THE DECK!"

Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>54352489
>taking a good hit to my side, I growl

THERE ARE THE ORKS, RALLY MEN FIRE UPON THE XENO

>he levels up a shot with his sniper rifle

FOR THE EMPRA

Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>54352489
*struck hard by a makeshift bullet I charge swinging into the fray, not having a gun of any sort on my person*

Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>54352489
>Uncovers head, his icy blue eyes tempered with frozen fury.
"AHHH, FOR THE EMPRAA!!"
>Fires off stub gun and runs towards the nearest ork

>>54352412
>>54352434
>>54352474
>>54352460
Oh hey man how's the "hive world" still a pit of scum and villany to put nostromo ti shame?
He's not an eldar eldar are from craft world he's from the hive of Commodia pretty messed up place likely enlisted to get off it
> winks at the dark eldar

>Grins as the killing begins, almost shivering with the dark energy of the agonized souls.

Come brutes, come and meet your end!

>levels his blaster and fires off a series of shots into the horde while nimbly moving across the field

Steady... steady...
>The techpriest places the final cards atop a magnificent card tower. Just as the final cards are in place, two bullets fly clean through his chest, causing him to collapse upon the cards and lie on the rapidly reddening snow breathing heavily
C-c-come on... I spent *cough* so long on those cards

Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>54352568
(forgot roll)

>>54352570
"Man down! Man down!"
>he charges over, orkish bullets barely missing his, body.
"Grab my man trooper, no man shall die today!"
"Not until the God Emperor wills it!"
>Rollan for pick up.

Rolled 1, 16, 12, 17 = 46 (4d20)

>>54352489
READY MEN!
FIRE
>One battlecannon shot would go hurdling towards the orks along with lascannon fire
>first roll is for the battlecannon, the rest for the lascannons

Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>54352606
>stupid /tg/ eating my rolls

Rolled 8, 42 = 50 (2d100)

>>54352606
>hearing the cry, I fire another shot and rush to the wounded

[first for shot, second for healing]

Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>54352568
>>54352590

>Shudders as all the nearby energy is flowing through him.

It's been too long...need something to steady my hands

>activates the flow of combat drugs in his armor

Rolled 43, 52, 33, 98, 93, 6 - 2 = 323 (6d100 - 2)

>>54352489
> pulling out a hell gun gelt unleashes a volley of fire

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Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>54352640
" What are you doing! you just threw him on the ground again."
>Picks Vanderdelgus back up.
"Come along mr.machine man, lets get you fixed up."
>The smile on his face is fun.
>Rollan for disengage

>>54352640
>missing completely, I manage to stabilise the tech adept

>>54352723
>>54352711
>the priest idly pokes at the holes in his sweater with a cold metal finger, his head drooping like a drunk. He somehow looks even paler than usual
A-are we going to get the new carpet?

Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>54352657
>adrenalight begins to flow into my veins. With a barely contained laugh I charge into the orks, blaster sliding back under the cloak on it's sling. An agonizer flashes into my hands as I begin laying about myself.

Die greenskins!

(dunno what bonus if any this drug would give me? idk this is all made up bs anyway)

Rolled 1, 4, 15, 12, 12, 9, 12 = 65 (7d20)

>>54352531
>His sshot would manage to hit an ork right in the shoulder. Causing his rokkit proppeled snowboard to spin him in circles, as he lands in the snow.
>>54352560
>His burst manages to take a few of the dozens of Orks out of the fight, with precision headshots.

>>54352590
>His gun would jam on him. Shoulda used a good ol' fashioned shoota.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=k_Ee70V7wes
>The Orks would begin to close in on them. Their speed incredible to behold.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!"
>>54352548
>"LOK ET DAT 'UMIE! 'EZ CHARGIN ROIGHT AT US, LIKE 'E T'INKZ 'ES GONNA DO SUM'T'ING!"
>"OI! PRA'PARE DA TOE CAH'BULLS! TAKE 'EM DOWN, YA GROT!"
>first roll, is for one of the Speeda Boyz, to fire "Something" at Rogga, as they pass him by. First roll

>The twin-linked shootas would fire back at the human forces at this point.
>The second and third rolls are shootas being fired towards the Dark Eldar.
>The fourth and fifth rolls, are fired bullets fired towards Lucienia.
>The sixth and seventh, are bullets fired towards Cadet Adams.

Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>54352772
>The bullets would miss the Cadet, by graze him.
>Adam draws his chainbeater and stubgun.
"Men of the Emperor, follow me to glory!"
"C-Charge!!!"
>He runs into the first ork he sees attempting to bisect it.
>then would fire his stubbed into its gaping jaw.
"Fear not the Xeno! Fear me!"
>He shouts all the lines they taught him in the progerium.

Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>54352772
Bahaha, what even was that thing? Some kind of Gretchen rodent?
Now you soon-to-be scarlet ruffians, let us engage in a fine duel of fisticuffs!

Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>54352772
>following the junior commisars lead, I charge at the orkish line. my gun fireing for the biggest or an NOB I ca see

DIE XENO

Rolled 14, 10, 14, 2, 5 = 45 (5d20)

>>54352804
>>54352823
>>54352839
>Several more Orks, would be put down, mere moments before they engage the Imperial Invaders in melee combat.
>>54352823
>The weapon they had tried to fire at the Ogryn, would jam and explode. Killing the toe Kah'bull gretchin in the back of the Ork's rokkit.

>Now in melee distance. The rest of the Orks would begin to fire their own "Toe Kah'Bullz", at the Imperial ground forces.
>The first is fired off at Rogga. The second at Brother Vexus, and thee third towards The Dark Eldar.
>A squad of twin-linked Snow Speeda Boyz, would fire off bullets at Lucienia, fourth and fifth roll
>All toe Kah'bull attacks gain a plus one, for being in close combat, as they are speeding by.

Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>54353002
*being caught by a cable I intelligently try and pull myself up and heroically commandeer the green skins vehicle*

Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>54353002
"AFFIX BAYNONETS MEN, AND CHARGE!!!"
>He would jump onto a Ork "Snow speeda" and attempt to wrestle it away from the orks control
"Gimme that!"
>I roll to hijack the snow speeda, a red one too.

Rolled 7 (1d20)

>>54353002
>with a minor hit of the cables, the marine changes his tacktics trying to smash a ork off his ride as he goes by

Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>54353002
>adrenalight still flowing, Araayn swings his agoniser again in a vicious arc

Rolled 60, 92 = 152 (2d100)

>>54353097
>>54353022
>Unfortunately for them. The Ork Toe Kah'Bullz, are crude devices, made of flexible steel wireing, and a miniature rocket as the tip.
>The toe Kah'bull rocket, would pierce deep into their bodies, ripping through bone, and armour and flesh, before popping out the otherside. Alongside a small amount of steel cable.
>The exhaust caterizes the wounds, so that the steel cable sticks into place, and is unable to leave their bodies, and the Snow Speeda Boyz, fly off past the lines of Imperial forces. Carrying the duo along with them.

>>54353041
>Their speed is far to incredible, and he is unable to manage a hit.
>>54353036
>The ork.pulot, would merely punch the Cadet off of his ride. Unwilling to share.

"diz 'ere is me Speeda! Youz ain't allowed on et!"
>Rolling for how bad the dragging g is on the dark Eldar(first roll) and Rogga(second)

Rolled 13, 4, 5, 18 = 40 (4d20)

>>54353041
>>54353036
>As the Ork speedaz fly past the Imperial lines, they would make a sharp turn, and would open fire upon the Troops.
>First two rolls for Cadet Adams.
>Last two are for Vexus

Rolled 7 (1d20)

>>54353243
>sighting them going I rage at this, then run trying to cut the pair away with a bolt shot.

[fireing to kill the engines so it stops]
>>54353264
>I grunt as the shot hits me

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Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>54353243
"Waaa! the boy bellyflops into the snow."
>he still didn't get mittens and his hands are cold.
>he would rub his poor hands together.
>>54353264
>17
>Upon getting fired by the returning ork speeder he would become riddled with bullets.
>Or so the pilot thought, as Adam's is pierced in all limbs by his head.
"THE EMPEROR PROTECTS ME!"
>Rolling to stay the fuck alive

Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>54353243
*having my back seared off I shout in pain*
OH BY THE EMPEROR THIS IS NOT MY IDEAL SUNDAY MORNING
*roll to shoot myself free with tesla carbine*

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>54353243
>with a sickening smile as he moves along the ground and empowered, emboldened and erect from the pain he slashes with his agonizer at the steel cable.

>>54353348
>He thankfully manages to cut himself free of the cabling, although he is sent flying a few dozen feet, and into a rock.
>>54353343
>That probably wasn't a very good idea, as when the cable is blown free, the speeder had taken a turn. Causing him to fly off about fourty feet at high velocity, before hitting a rock.

>With their raid, and the testing of their new toys an utter success. The ork Snow Speedaz would fly off into the distance from which they had came. Dragging along with them, dozens of soldiers, and a few tanks.

>>54353403
*crashing headfirst against the rock I lose consciousness suddenly and require medical aid*

Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>54353403
>Wounded and near death, I aim up one last shot with my sniper, aim at the biggest head and fire

Rolled 12, 83 = 95 (2d100)

>>54353403
>Rolling for damage to Araayn. First roll.
>Rolling for damaged sustained to Rogga. Second roll at plus 10 for. The speed

Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>54353403
" We did it men!"
>He points to all the dead men around him.
"We saved the Planet!"
"Now lets leave before they return with even greater numbers."
>looks around.
"Where is our Commissar I'm sure someone has to tell us what a good job we did!"
>starts to pull the large bullets out his skin and carapace armor.
"The Emperor*grunt* pro*cough*tects."
>Rollan for hardcoreness

>>54353418
>He would end up hitting the smallest head imaginable. A poor gretchin.

Rolled 5, 52 = 57 (2d100)

>>54353418
>missing horribly, I lower the gun and seek out the wounded

>>54353412
[rolling to heal]

>>54353447
[stabilising rogga, I collapse as my wounds take effect, leaving me near death]

>>54353447
*you quickly realise he has sustained critical brain injury and your mediocre skills are not good enough to heal him properly, though he is stabilised for now*

Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>54353472
>The local Hospitaller, would run up to the marine, covered in the blood of dozens of men, as she attempts to stabailse the wounded apothecary.

C'mon, you've seen worse than this! You can survive this!
>Rollan!

Rolled 82, 53 = 135 (2d100)

>>54353487
>>54353472
I swear if you die I will kill you
> rollan for medic first marine second roga

>>54353512
>the apocathery is clinging to life, its doubt full he will wake short of going back to his chapter

>but as a black shield...what chapter is it?

Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>54353512
"Medic!"
>He tries to call the hospitaller over
"MEDIC! Bullets skin! remove! Please!"
>Tears are starting the seep out his eyes.
"I can only pull out for so long!"
>Rolling for, endurance.

Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>54353545
>>54353557
>With Vexus in the hands of the capable biologis Magos, Illya would rush over, and deal with Cadet Adam's wounds
>>54353441
Don't worry. You're gonna make it. Trust me!
>Rollan for her magic 'touch'

Rolled 69 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

>>54353576
Shut up
Have pain killers and nerve staples
>Rollin for medicae mechadendrite

Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>54353590
>>54353604
"No on the nerve staples, yes on the touch."
>He would run and hide behind the hospitaller.
"You gotta hide me from the machine-man"
>Clings to greaves of Illya
>rolling to stick

>>54353545
*despite your most mediocre efforts, roggs mind begins to deteriorate*

>>54353590
>Once she was finished applying first aid to the smaller, younger Commissar, she would plant a kiss on his forehead. A warm smile on her face

See? It wasn't all that bad, now was it? You'll be fine soon enough, Cadet. Big Sister Illya will make sure of it.

Rolled 3, 18, 3, 14 = 38 (4d20)

Seeing my last post just got ignored
Ready men, FIRE!
>first roll for battle cannon, next three for lascannons

>>54353659
>The wide open grin, cloaked the young commissar's face.
"Yeah! Emperor!"
"Now what do we do?"
"I think my orgryn friend still ends help."

>>54353685
*slowly bleeding from my brain*

Rolled 20 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

>>54353646
Right abhuman
Different Brain I should know this I'm a biologis reductor
Let's try that again with my ogryn scalpel

>>54353696
>Runs over.
"You've just been bleeding everywhere today."
>throws yellow snow on the open wound.
"that'll sooth the pain."

>>54353704
*roggs brain begins to smoothen out and uncrease* *this is not good if you know anything about brains*

>>54353676
>Several snow Speedaz would be blown to smitherns by the combindd fire of the lone Leman Russ tank, and his sponsors.

>>54353734
>a voice speaks to your rapidly dieing mind

do you wish to live?

Rolled 11, 13, 12, 5 = 41 (4d20)

>>54353748
Ready... FIRE!
>I'd fire again at the Snow Speeder boyz

Rolled 84 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>54353734
By the machine god that was the ratling knife! Heal you bastard heal!

>>54353761
H WHOES THIS BEH EMORA IS YOU THER IS WHO IS I WANNA WHATS THIS KAYOSS THING I HEAR SAH MUCH ABOUT?

>>54353782
*suddenly waking and being separated from the voice I yell out in a frenzied cry*
NAH RATLING LEMME FARKIN KILL STUPID KAY-OSS SPAWN DONT SHOOT GLAND NO I KILL

>The tech priest lurches up from behind a large snow dune, waving a large scroll
I've managed to calculate and list our total losses here! Take a look
>The paper is covered in black inky scribbles and red splotches, completely illegible to anyone other than Vanderdelgus

>>54353797
I am not of the warp, dumb one.

I am a self serving being. and I can save you. all you have to do after if wield a certain blade

>>54353779
>The enemy is sadly too far out of range of his guns at this point. Their raid having been a rather fine success, as they had stolen two squadrons of Leman Russ tanks, and about two dozen guardsmen, via their Toe kah'bullz, from the various rwgimentd assembled at the base.

>>54353828
>My Leman Russ would speed forward in the snow after them
Not today you green-skinned bastards!

>dusts himself off, resets his blaster and sheathes his agonizer

Well that was fun. Where's the haemonculus. Need to see him about regrowing some tissue.

>pulls the miniature rocket from his armor

>>54353782
"Stop it, you're gonna kill him!"
>Here let me try too.
>He sticks a hand into the brain caveity

>>54353843
You, this will be the third time I've asked you
Is the city still run by vect?
Or did that lady take over?

>>54353876
>glances around to make sure no one is near

Vect is yet High Archon.

>walks away quickly towards the medicae tents to drink in the suffering

>>54353828
"They're gone, finally"
>he sits indian style on the snowy plain.
"I pray to the God-Emperor to deliver us from, xenos, heretics, mutants, and those that would wish to impede your mighty plan, Ave Imperator!"
>He repeats his prayer.

>>54353955
OI YOUS WHERES THE RATLING GLAND I KILL BUT HE SHOOT ALL BLACK STRANGE VOICE MAKE ANGRY ME ANGRY ROBOT WHERE GREEN MAN I WANT KNOW WHO WHERE ARE IS THEY?

>A high keening is heard by the sister hospitaler on the battle field and on looking, there is a sword stuck in a dead guardsman, seemingly dropped by the orks but curiously, looks to be man made

>>54353977
"WHAT WHY ARE WE YELLING"
>He leaps on top of the Orgyn.
"THEY WENT THAT WAY!"
>Points in the direction the orks fled in.

>>54353839
>The scrambled together contraptions, are easily able to outrun the tank. Even with their heavy loads in tow.

>>54353876
OI YOUZ WHATS TALK ABOUT ARE YOU ROBOT MAN WHERE IS GUN ORDERED I ORDERED GUN SHOOT PLASMAH?!

Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>54354001
OIZ THATS WAY AIGHTS LETS GOES THE-
*charges screaming incomprehensible conspiracy theories about ratlings puppeteering the imperial government in the wrong direction entirely*
*roll higher to avoid being thrown off*

Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>54354024
"That isn't the right way! you mutant!"
>He would grab the collar of rogg and attempt to saddle him.
"After that tank!"
>rolling to guide you

>The Vostroyan would be used to the cold, his clothing suited for it
>He would trudge through it with ease, he was used to it
Hm. Nothing compared to Vostroya.

>with my success stopped by the medic, I redirect my efforts to the numorious tech priests.

>Each hears my "singing" and its not hard to find

Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>54354053
TANK ITANK WHER I GO PLACE I DONT SEE WHY SNOW ENRE ARE WE I DONT WT-KNWO ? *roll to try and catch up with the orks*

>>54354081
>The priest stumbles over to the sword, poking it with a stick

Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>54354084
"THAT TANK, THE LEMAN FRACKIN RUSS!!!"
>He would point to the tank speeding off in the diection of the bodies.
"Fine! follow the trail of blood, Yip Yip!"
>He kicks Rogg in the side as if he were a horse
>Rollan to see how well Rogg takes it

Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>54354133
NO KICKY NO I NOT TOO CLOSE SMASH
*roll to lob the tiny man as far as I can throw him*

>>54354128
>the sword shakes but remains upright

>a voice rings in his head

hay that's fucking rude you bastard, you gonna pick me up or what? just going to poke me again?

Rolled 7 (1d20)

>>54354146
"WEEEE!!"
>The Cadet lands right on passing snowspeeda
>"Wot da zog!"
"Hello, goodbye."
>He would shoot the ork in the face with his stubgun.
"Die! die! die! die!"

>>54354148
>the priest stand in thought for a moment, calculating the probability that this is real, or a hallucination from blood loss. Deciding it's probably the latter, he grabs the sword and waves it in the air

>Slowly comes to his senses after a serious case of Alcohol overdose- induced coma

>>54354193
about fucking time

>the priest feels an intense hatred for the deamon and their followers. he also seems stronger and more resistant to warp fuckery by deamons.

Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>54354192
>The burly ork tosses the boy out of his speeda.
>"Git da fock outta mah speeda you finkin humie."
and he lands right on top of...
>>54354214
"Look out below!!"
>The Cadet shouts from 10 meters up.
>Rollan to see if I land on you, or at least near you.

>>54354218
Woah, I suddenly feel an intense hatred for the deamon and their followers. Where did I leave my recaf mug?

>>54354269
>the sword stops for a second, normaly their hosts go mad and rush around to find a deamon to kill, this guy must be a lazy bastard

oh you lazy bastard why aren't you going to kill deamons and shit?

File: Rak'Gol pirate 2.jpg (16KB, 251x301px) Image search: [Google]

16KB, 251x301px

>Calls on a vox
Arrr mateys whoat's the status, because mine is bad.
As it turns out it's a bad idea to drive a transport and drink rum at the same time arrr.
Also my whole squad is dead yaharrarrr

>>54354302
Well I haven't had my mid-mid morning recaf yet, and I think I've lost about 3 pints of blood. And my favourite sweater is ruined

Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>54354269
"Did someone say Heretics?"
>the Cadet looks up from his hole in the ground.
"Are we not gonna kill anymore orks, ok"
>The cadet picks a pile of snow and shapes it into a sphere.
"SNOW BALL FIGHT!"
>He lobs a snowball at the techpriest
>rolling to start snowball fight.

>>54354328
>The Commissar Cadet picks up the Vox and holds it to his ear.
"Hello, are you.. are you the pizza guy?"
"Cause I wanna extra large pepperoni, with wings!"
"Also everything fine."

Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>54354348
>the snowball hits the priest in the back of the head. He lethargically turns around
Huh?
>rolling to overcome laziness

>>54354244
Watch it!

>>54354382
Arr cadet, yer might wanna check that head of yours, 'cause I don't deliver pizza after the accident. Arrr I'm one of your yarrrr ragimental soldiers so to speak, harharrrr, can ya give me someone else to speak haraharyarr

>>54354382
OIZ FOODS I WANSAA FOOD GIVE MEH DONT GREED EMPRA TOLD ME TO EMPEROR FOR HIM YHES I MJST CONSUDME WHO K EAT WHO I W=KEL I NEED EAT HUNGEREY

Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>54354388
>the priest slowly grabs a handful of snow and compacts it into a ball, then uses the sword to punt it in the relative direction of the cadet
>Rolling for shittyness of the throw

Rolled 3, 16, 8, 16, 11 = 54 (5d20)

>>54354388
>using my powers of deamons to conjour up 5 snow balls to throw at the commissar like a base ball bat

[this seems like the tech priest is doing it]

ATTACK

>The sounds of stomps could be heard just from over the ridge
>It would shake the snow around you after each stomp

Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>54354382
SNOHBAL?
SNOHBELL??!
SHNOHWBHELL!!!
*the brute begins construction of a snowball 9 times the size of a chimaera*
*roll for stage 1*

Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>54354388
>>rolling to overcome laziness
>19
>good try
"He and that ain't the last of em, ICE PLANET!!!"
>He starts scrambling to make more snowballs before the techpriest has time to react.
"Taste the golden fury of the God-Emperor!"
>
>>54354404
"Hi, you're alive after all that drink, but you missed the awesome battle, we were like Boom and the Orks were like WAAAGH but the Emperor pulled through, and so did we."
>Holds out an ungloved hand, it'll be freezing to the touch.
"Commissair Cadet Adam Malkovich at your service"

>>54354427
>Calls on vox
Arr Vander yaharr what's goind on arrrr.
And why is Rogga stupid again yaharharrr?
Also where are ya? Arrr

Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>54354455
SNOH BHELL!!1!!0
*stage 2*

>A Morkanaut would trudge over the ridge!
>He would be visible to all now, interrupting their snowball fight!
>He'd aim his guns towards the regiment

Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>54354487
>>54354488
FHUCK OFF YA SILLY NOB
SNOWBHELLL!
*stage 3 snowball entering critical mass*

>>54354419
>somhow holding the vox in one hand and a snowball in another.
"No, I'm pretty sure this is the pizza vox and you're the pizzaman."

Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>54354488
>the sword seeing the danger attempts to shield the regiment by causing the weapons to malfunction

LOOK YOU FAGGOTS, THERES A VERY IG FUCKING NOB GET HIM

>>54354479
>the priest sits on a large snow pile, twisting the wire of the vox around his finger and tapping the hilt of the sword with his fingers
Well, I found this sword and now I have an unquenchable thirst for the excruciatingly long and violent death of every daemon and daemon worshiper from here to Cadia, Rogga tried to commit grand theft auto on some orks, and they didn't take too kindly to that, and I'm at... uhh...
>the tech priest looks around himself at the seemingly endless snowy wastes
I'm near the giant ork walker held together with tape and spit. Ya can't miss it

>>54354488
"WHOOOOOOOO"
>The cadet's jaw drops at the massive contrict as it lumbers into the valley.
"What do we do! what do we do!"

Rolled 4, 18, 7, 13, 11, 4, 10, 5 = 72 (8d20)

>>54354517
>The 'naut would open fire on the Ab-human
>First roll for the Kustom mega-cannon, next two for the twin big shootas, the next two for the two rokkit launchas, and the last one for the Kustom mga blasta

>>54354554
Arrrrr does it have a big showball near it? Or a bunch of orks?

Rolled 19 (1d20)

>he stumbles out of his tent, eyes wild
Wuzzat? Wherrisit? Oh, they're gone? Shame.

>>54354488
Oh. Shit. G-Guess not then.
>he totters over to a nearby gun emplacement, slams a belt in and starts blasting at the morkanaut

>>54354576
>Grabs the Vox from the techpriest.
"It's right next to the big snowball!"

>>54354576
Yeah, both of those things. I'm gonna hang up now, there's a bunch of voices in my head shouting at me to mutilate stuff.

Rolled 12, 20, 5, 9, 20, 17 = 83 (6d20)

>>54354568
>re-rolling

Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>54354568
HEAVHE HOOOO
*i fucking lob the snowball half the size of the gork(or maybe mork)anought directly at the fucking robot*
THIEM TO BHLIND THOS FOOD

>>54354568
>the cadet runs around with his hands in the air.
"Someone call a knight! call the Titanitcus! Call an airstrike!"
>He runs over to the gun emplacement.

>>54354600
Arr all right it won't take a minute and good luck yaharr arrr
>>54354594
Arr I'm sorry but orks stole my pizza

>>54354586
>the morkanaut would get blasted on the side of it;s hull, causing a good bit o' metal to fall off

>>54354604
*being thwacked in the chest by a brutal volley of deadly weapons I am flung far far away from the camp and civilisation, carried away by the momentum of the barrage*
FHUCK

Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>54354627
>the techpriest takes aim with his laspistol at the exposed inner workings at the morkanaut and fires

Rolled 14, 6, 12 = 32 (3d20)

>>54354586
>the nobs would leave the Naut and charge the sergeant n the gun emplacement!

Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>54354604
"HOOOO!!!"
>He mans and fires a Lascannon from the emplacement.
"AHHHHHH"
>He's still screaming.

Rolled 6, 20, 6, 17 = 49 (4d20)

>>54354627
Arrr yer landlubber, I'mma tear ya appart
>Goes through the hole and attacks orks with a sabre, hook and his two remaining arms

Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>54354644
>the blade fires a bolt of energy at the mork a nought

File: Guant_Attack (1).jpg (416KB, 1101x976px) Image search: [Google]

416KB, 1101x976px

Rolled 5 (1d22)

>>54354661
>Is in the emplacement too
"Sergent incoming!"
>He charges the nearest ork with his chainsword aimming to bisect it while he fires his stubgun
"For the Emperor!"

Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>54354663
>he glares at the cadet
Shaddap, kid! I'm tryna purge the xeno here!

>>54354661
>he fires a volley at the approaching horde

Rolled 10, 10 = 20 (2d20)

>>54354661
>The techpriest runs towards the sergeant, firing at the biggest ork he can see before swinging the sword at the second biggest
>First roll for the shot, second for the sword

File: Ghazghkull_vs._Yarrick.jpg (472KB, 885x1114px) Image search: [Google]

472KB, 885x1114px

Rolled 5, 1 = 6 (2d20)

>>54354701
"Sergent behind you!"
>He would put down a nob attempting to flake the pair.
"Sergent keep firing at the titan I'll keep them off you."
>The Cadet turns towards the horde of nobs
"SHOW ME WHAT PASSES FOR FURY AMONG YOU MISBEGOTTEN KIND!"
>He wades into melee firing off his gun and swinging his moterised eggbeater.

Rolled 13, 1, 5, 3 = 22 (4d20)

>>54354663
>This would hit the kustom force-field, dissipating quickly

>>54354627
The hook would scrape a piece of scrap metal off of the morkanaut

>>54354701
The Nobs would get into combat, dishing out attacks to you. First two are power klaws, next 2 are big choppaz

>>54354719
Miss

Rolled 13, 16, 15, 10, 9, 3 = 66 (6d20)

>>54354719

>I'd fire all my guns at the Techpriest

Rolled 17 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>the blade angered by its failure uses its blast again before becoming drained


night guys

Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>54354760
>In melee combat with the nobs.
"WOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWO"
>That is the only noise that escapes the crowd.
>The nobs beat down on the Cadet with their bare fists, not caring to finish the small boy off with their powerclaws.
>"Lo'k at dis little humie grot, he fockin finks 'e can take on us nobs, not even 'is nobs can take us on."
>The nobs laugh.
"I may be small, the through the Emperor I can be more!"
>He stands up, his weapons knocked out his hands a long time ago.
"FOR EMPEROR AND IMPERIUM!!"
>He charges the nearest nob with only his bare fists.

>>54354760
Arrr this will get me nowhere
>Sheathes his sword
Let's get inside throught the eye Yahar arr
>Begins crawing unto the Morkanaut like a cockroach

>>54354812
>The sizable explosion throws the techpriest high into the air, screaming the entire time
>rolling to see if techpriests really do always land on their feet

Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>54354956
nice one me

Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>54354760
>he ducks and dodges the choppas, but a power klaw cuts a gash in his shoulder
>he snarls and pulls out a bejeweled icepick bearing the Wyvern family crest
Alright ya big green cunts, let's have a go!
>he lunges at a nob, thrusting the spike at his neck

Rolled 17, 17, 9, 10 = 53 (4d20)

>>54354914
>The Nobs inside would charge you with their power claws
>rolling for 4 nobs with 4 powerclaws

File: commissar_and_guardsmen___warhammer_40k___by_guywiththesuitcase-d56k5qr.jpg (688KB, 1366x768px) Image search: [Google]

688KB, 1366x768px

>>54354886
>Quickly he leaps at the Nob, gogeing it's bloodshot eyes out.
>"Git off me yah stinkin grot!"
>The nob intends to shoot adam off his face.
>The ork misses the boy and shoots himself in the face.
>The gathered Nobs get rauchous.
>"Oi this ain't no finkin grot, look at 'iz hat."
>A wave of regonition sweeps over the gathered Nobs
>"It's one of doze humie Commisarboyz"
>"I fink you'z right Snazzgrod."
>"Enuff playan, lets krump dese humies!"
>"WAAAAAAGH!!"
>Adam leap and does a summersalt on the emplacement, this time landing on a heavy bolter.

> remember when there wasn't a dude playing the antagonists and trying to get people killed? I do

Rolled 10, 14, 2 = 26 (3d20)

>>54355044
>The nobz would charge up to the emplacement where the heavy bolter was
>They'd charge the Commissar, all with Big choppa attacks to his torso

>>54355064
*rawr*

Rolled 12, 10, 7 = 29 (3d20)

>>54355033
>Falls
Gahhrrr yer bastard devils, so ya wanna fight ey?
>Unsheathes sword and takes out a howler rifle
Yer gonna get one
>Attacks with a sabre, hook and a howler rifle

Rolled 1, 9, 13 = 23 (3d20)

>>54355100
>One of the orks would suffer a would to his shoulder with the sabre
>The three would attack back with their power claws

Rolled 18, 17 = 35 (2d20)

>>54355033
>>54355072
>Another wave of thunderious firepower shouts out from the Morknaut.
"H-holy! thats scary!"
>he turns the heavy bolter emplacement towards the Nobz
>Bullets would cry out in a prayer of fury.
"FURY! COURAGE! HONOR!"
>>54355022
>He turn the bolter towards the sergent!
"sergent get down!
>and fires into some of the crowd

Rolled 12, 8, 8, 4, 20, 4 = 56 (6d20)

>>54355121
>The Morkanaut would now aim all his guns towards the Cadet
>It would fire at him in one big BRRRRRRRRRRRRT

Rolled 15, 18, 13, 1 = 47 (4d20)

>>54355111
Arrr yer gonna need to more to fell a rak'gol mateys yaha arr
>Drops howler rifle and attacks with sabre,hook and his two remaining claws

Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>54355143
"By the emperor!"
>Adam disappers in a hail of bullets.
>ROLLAING TO FUCKING DODGE

>>54355156
>The Nobs would die. All that was left was the drivers, who were in an upper level, with the trapdoor leading to it sealed shut

>>54355166
You can't just dodge all those bullets man

>>54355180
Well that's all them yarrr
Now to the boring part
>Crawls up to the eye and begins to break it
Yer can't hide from me landlubbers!

Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>54355218
Damit

Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>54355218
As the drivers knew he was trying to get in, they would initiate a titanic explosion self destruct sequence
>It would be 10 seconds before the Morkanaut exploded
>rolling for explosion distance

>>54355180
>Oh fuck man...
>The cadet disapperes in a flash of red!
>His blood doesn't even stay as the morknaut deforms the area where the small Commissar Cadet once stood.
>A guardsmen walks up
>"Free shit!"
>He grabs the only thing that remains of Adam, his Commissar's hat which miraculously servived the blast.
>"This is mine now."
>Arty looks at were his friend once stood, them he begins to follow the guardsmen wearing it's previous's owner's hat.

Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>54355244
Arr why does this always happen?
>Roll for escape

Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>54355121
>he jumps to the ground in time for a hail of bullets to whizz over his head

>>54355180
>he begins crawling around, shivving nobs in the ankles and setting upon any that fall
>his pupils are dilated by the drugs and the adrenaline

Rolled 19 + 15 (1d100 + 15)

>>54355244
>Vu Chen prepares a meltabomb and attempts to sneak under the 'naut

bonus for being a sneaky charlie

File: Commisnoer.jpg (128KB, 550x511px) Image search: [Google]

128KB, 550x511px

>>54355270
"Hey like my new hat, I found it on the ground."
"And now this servo-skull won't stop poking me!"
>A furious servo-skull prods the guardsmen.

>>54355064
*muffled cry for help*

>>54355340
>Matthias would take the cap away from the Guardsman.

That doesn't belong to you, trooper. Especially not to someone of your rank.

Commissar Knochenmus will probably want to see this...

>>54355435
Whose there?

File: imperial_guardsman_by_fonteart-d56kan9.jpg (119KB, 900x1007px) Image search: [Google]

119KB, 900x1007px

>>54355448
"Hey no fair! I found it."
>He finds that the servo-skull isn't leaving him alone.
"Can you at least take this servo skull with you?"

>>54355504
EH LOST MEH ARHMS
WHER ME ARMS GONE
*rogg is buried under thick snow, only his scorched boots are visible*

Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>54355539
Great
>The priest grabs the giant boots and pulls with all his might

Rolled 29 (1d100)

>Roll for damage of the explosion

Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>54355565
Don't roll for me
>Rolling for explosion damage

Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>54355556
"Huh what the"
>Runs over and helps the techpriests
"Now Heave!"

>>54355539
>With a mighty heave and strength borne of high quality cybernetics gelt pulls the ogyrn out of the snow bank

Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>54355616
>The priest leans backwards whilst holding the giant boot, straining to pull the ogryn from the snow

>>54355556
MEH BOOTS COME OFF.
EH LOST ME ARHMS AND MEH BOOT.
EMPHR WHY U DO TO ME?
EWHAT I EVAH DL TO EMPRA?

>>54355513
>He would shake his head.

It's your problem now, trooper. I personally just think it's machine spirit likes you.

>>54355611
Arrrr harr harrr I'm ALIVE!
>Get's up
Arrr Gelt can ya get Rogg a brain when you patch him up?

>>54355635
>>54355645
>the priest pulls the boot, bringing the ogryn up with it with such force the boot comes flying off the foot.
Uhh... shit

>>54355623
EMPRA WHY
WHY YOU DO THIS. ME GOT NOH ARGMS.

>>54355635
>>54355623
"We did it!"
>His head turns sideways and smile covers his face.
"We saved.."
>He's still stuck.

>>54355623
>>54355668
I DONT HATH ARMS
WHY NO GOTTA ARHMSD

>>54355686
Well, we did all we could. I wonder what's on the menu in the mess hall today

>>54355663
"I'm sure it, won't get do annoying"
>The skull starts to fly in a lazy orbit around his head.
"To bad the big guys still stuck."

>>54355712
>licking lips
"I hope its grox stew! I love grox stew!"
>walks around the techpriest

>>54355712
BRING MEH BACK SOMMIN

>the gun emplacement is now covered in blood
>ork corpses covered in small holes litter the floor
>van Kleez lies huddled in the middle, wheezing heavily

>>54355730
Well, after that everything that just happened, I'm surprised most of us didn't end up like him.
>He would rub the newly placed gold wedding band on his finger. Trying to warm it's metal surface up.

Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>54355776
Arrr for all that muscle can't get yerself out landlubber, I'll help war harrr
>Tries to get Rogg out of the snow

>>54355792
"Jeez captain I sure hear here yah, you shoulda saw what happened to that hat's owner, a red puff."

>>54355784
Wanna go steal combat drugs from a certain pointy eared fellow?

Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>54355804
>Rog rips out Roggs leg
Arr well you gonna look nice with a new leg ,let me try again
>Tries again

Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>54355871
"No stop, let me try, you'll tear his other leg off."
>Grabs the remaining leg from Rog.

Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>54355804
*roll to defy common psysics and escape from an extremely unlikely scenario*

>the Guerilla busied himself by securing the perimeter

>>54355843
>he whips around to face Gelt, on his hands and knees in a feral crouch
HISSSS

>>54355884
Arrr let's shovel him out, do ya have shovel? Ey Gelt, do you have a shovel?

>>54355838
>Matthias nods his head. Having indeed seen what had happened to the poor kid.
>Barely out of the progenia, and blasted to atoms in an instant. The very thought, would cause the captain's lips to form into a frown.

Atleast his death was quick... It's all people in our station can hope for, trooper.

>>54355871
MEH LEHG
ME BHOOT
MEH ARMHS
WHY EMPRAH WHY U DO DIS

>The priest walks out of the mess hall, carrying a tray of stew bowls in one hand, and a few deck chairs in the other
It's not the beach, but it's close enough I guess.
>The priest sets up one of the chairs and begins to dig into the hot bowl of stew

>>54355929
>Salutes the captain
"Ain't that the truth, sir."

Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>54355932
Yarrr sorry, meybe if I do this...
>Tries again

>>54355917
>The Sergeant would feel a fist full of snow be rammed down his shirt and armour.

Don't hiss Sergeant-
>Of course it was the Hospitaller... A large smirk on her face.
-Its unbecoming of someone of your rank.

>>54355925
" a shovel?"
>Digs around in guardsmen kit.
"Yes I do infact have my shovel."

>>54355959
*rogg pops out of the snow a unipedal, that is to say with only one leg while bleeding profusely from his three missing limb holes*

>>54355967
Too late, I got him yarr
>>54355962
Arr Illya can ya come here? We have an ogryn with only one limb and hes arrr bleeding

>>54355988
*hops around furiously*
*whyh empra*
*faints due to blood loss*

>>54355917
> gelt traps the sargent in a bear hug patting him on the back and rocking side to side in an attempt to calm him down

>>54355951
"Food time!"
>He takes a chair from the techpriest and a bowl
"Thank you, Mr... I'm afraid I haven't made you aquatince yet, I am 1st private Borges at yours and Mars service."
>He takes a sit across from the priest.
"Sooo how long have you been with [regiment unknown]?"
>He spoons a klump of grox meat and shoves it into his mouth.

Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>54355988
>A more serious look would appear on the Hospitaller's face, as she rushes over towards them.
>Crouching down, she would take a look at the wounded Ogryn's missing legs.

Alright, just what in the Emperor's name, happened to him? This isn't an ork wound!

>She would begin to perform a battlefield surgery on him.
>Rollan

>>54356012
Nice to meet you. I'm Vanderdelgus, but my friends call me Vanderdelgus. I haven't been with this, uhh... 'regiment' long, but I've been on their ship a good while, only really got involved after a daemon invasion led to me accidentally being invited to a wedding I think it was. Anyways, how did you get dumped into this mess?

>>54356039
Arrr a rogue rock...no a metal piece from morkanaut yarr

>>54356039
>She would sigh as she finishes working on him.
>There sadly isn't anything she can do for the poor Ogryn, except grant him the Emperor's mercy.
>Pulling forth a bolt pistol, she would place it next to his head, and would pull the trigger. letting the explosive round do the necessary work for her.

May the Emperor guide his soul...

Rolled 5 (1d20)

>The sharp piece of metal would fall onto the gut of rogg

>>54356073
Arrr couldn't you badage him and arrr drag him to camp with eqipment? Yaharrharr

>After a long rest from the regiment, the Psyker would appear back
What has happened?

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>>54356073
Ahah, you thought it was rogg, but it was me! Dio!
*rawr*
*entire scene ceases to exist*

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>>54356063
"Oh well, I was transferred from the Cadian 420th, all the paper said was [unknown regiment], somehow the pilots still knew where to go."
>he pats his trust Hotshot laspistol and sword.
>12 inches of tempered Imperial steel, was at his side
"And now I'm here fighting orks on this emperor forsaken planet."
>Eats somemore stew.

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>>54356130
DID SOMEBODY ORDER A BASILISK?

>>54356130
Well welcome to one hell of a experience
I'm lying low myselfthe last place they'll look for me is a unknown guard regiment

>>54356211
No

>>54356130
>Vu Chen has finished his rounds and has approached the fire
Want some rice-amasec? It really helps with the existential dread.

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>>54356211
"Oh boy the one in your regiment talk too huh?"

>>54356249
Yhes!

Arrrharharharrr Anyways let's just...arrr bury his body and have a lunch...arrr
>Goes to the rst of the regiment to have a lunch

>>54356241
"Sure, Back in the regiment the only thing we drank were ork tears."
>>54356219
"Oh hello I was not aware a techmagos of Mars was accompanying us, My name is Borges."

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>>54356265
"Well back in my old regiment they made me drive a talking basilisk like it was a frontline tank."
>His predatory smile, isn't hard to pick up.
"And it was amazing."

>>54356335
Whateer do thou mean? Basilisks have always been frontline vehicles! Especially floating psychic basilisks like myself1

>>54356355
That sure as shit better not be an abominable intelligence. I don't want some chubby bible basher knocking on my door to shout at me for breaking sacred imperial law again

>>54356219
Arrr Gelt! What's for the grub today and where do I get it? Also who do I tell about casualities? We lost a squad of guardsmen and Rogg, but we destroyed a morkanaut!

>>54356382
The Bible? What's that?