ITT: you are a lich. You have 1 phylactery. What is it, and how

>>54299047
Through ancient and forbidden magic rituals, I made the sun into my phylactery.
If you destroy it, the world dies.

>>54299047
A small rock in a river, and then I throw it into the river so it mix with all other million of rocks

>>54299131
>>54299169

>hurr durr my phylactery is a pebble of sand in an eternal sandstorm in an alternate plane of existence

So what happens when you reform there?

>>54299047
The moon.

The lead Player Character

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I'll just give it to an honest man for safekeeping since nobody will ever be able to find him.

>>54299196
I dunno, seems like it'd be easy to find a guy stained with urine who lives in a barrel

Whatever, inside my butt, and I would enjoy adventurers sticking their hands in there Hard Gay levels making the whole deal of killing me super ackward for them to the point most will give up.

>>54299047
Overly convoluted plans to protect phylacteries never work. Adventurers always find a way to find and destroy it, often with the help of divination spells.
There is only one way to really protect it - nobody will even try to destroy your phylactery, if nobody knows it exists. Pretend not to be lich, change names and identities every time you die and don't keep a permament base of operations. Sure, it's a pain in the ass, but it's a good way to live for a long time.

>>54299214
You don't have to be an honest man to look for one. In that case he could have ended his search by looking into a pool of water.

My phylactery is the LG little girl NPC who had a hard life

I will go the good ol' Koschei the Deathless route, and hide it in an island in the middle of nowhere.

>>54299241
It's about to get a bit harder

>>54299047
Something small and personal to me, that I have in a vault hidden deep away.

I protect it by not gaining enemies and just keeping to myself making things that entertain me, occasionally selling my PHENOMINAL COSMIC POWER when I need more pocket money or favors.
After all, who's going to bother killing the Immortal Hermit when all he's done in living memory is teleport the king's castle to the new capital on the king's own request. You can visit if you want but I'll just be a skeleton in pyjamas reading books and petting cats.

A large yacht constantly travelling the ocean manned by my undead minions.

>>54299247
>Is called Koschei the Deathless
>Dies
Really fires up your neurons

Make a demon pact with a Balor or a Pit Fiend. Tell them I'll send them souls in exchange for being my phalactery.

Players need to kill me, figure out which greater demon is my phalactery, go to the abyss or ring of he'll said demon/devil is on, and kill them before I manage to reform.

>>54299047
My phylactery is a song. When I die, my spirit possesses anyone who sings that song. You can only destroy it by making people forget it.
t. evil bard

>>54299247
Don't forget to hide it within an egg within a duck within a herring within a hare within a chest.

>>54299169
on this one I've always thought it was a dumb idea because couldn't the person with detect evil basically just scan detect evil constantly and when they find a stone that radiates pure evil they would find out that was it. Also wouldn't a phylactery radiate evil powerful enough that it would be detectable from long distances

>>54299276
Not just her life

>>54299350
Bind that shit to twinkle twinkle.

>>54299047
make it a watch or some other keepsake and keep it in the open in the desk that is in my second apartment. Absolutly no one looks for shit that is just left in the open

>>54299047
The legendary intelligent sword that negates my total DR is my Phylactery. It was also the Neutral Good half of my soul, and asks to be destroyed after vanquishing my Neutral Evil half. Think Terminator 2, "there's one more thing left to destroy"

>>54299047
my dick
condom

A simply coin.
Travel.
Use it as money.
Let the global market and economy do the rest.

>>54299047
A chunk of ice. That I threw into the ocean.

>>54299193
Go away Voldemort.

A gold coin dropped in the ocean. No problem in reforming there.

Or gate to the moon. But then it is better go full Power Ranger and make my base there.

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>>54299292

>>54299047
Ill make it some sort of item without a ton of monetary value, just sentimental. Then I will leave a pube on it.

>>54299241
We've been over this, the solution is either to kill her, then you, then Res the LG little girl. Or make her into a Paladin that you cannot kill.

>>54299047
Another lich. I am also his phylactery. too.

>>54299404
If only there was a cursed crew of pirates looking for Aztec coins.

A cookie, they I'll proceed to cum on it every once in a while leaving a thick dry layer of my man juice.

>>54299219
Or they go the longer way and stab you in the gut and dig.

>>54299047
My estranged lich ex-wife whose phylactery I am.

>>54299520
I remember /tg/ writing a trashy romance novel based off of this concept.

>>54299188
Shows you the average intelligence of /tg/ wiz-fags, doesn't it.

>>54299047
It's a one by one meter block of Adamantine.

Is it inconspicuous? No.

Is it stupidly secure in some middle of nowhere plane? No.

Is it really really really hard and nigh indestructable and pretty fucking hard to move?

Yes.

Just spawn camp me, PCs, it'll be easier for you that way. or find something that can bypass my phylactery's hardness.

I explicitly chose this so player characters would have a legitimate chance to deal with it. But still boarders on absurd.

I make my phylactery the concept of concepts.
Sure, I only live once, but when I 'die' I reform in the realm of concepts, as a sentient concept.
I will control the world, as the greatest of all memes.

>>54299350
The whole song? I'd just make it a single chord

>>54299520
>>54299592
I don't know why, but this makes me think of the couple from baby driver

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>>54299452
See, this guy knows what lichdom is all about.

It's about spending forever fucking about as a spooky skelemancer. It's not about infinite power, or eternal domination.

It's just achieving maximum comfy, style and spook.

>>54299292
>>54299452
I always wanted to play a chill lich, but no DM ever let me.

>>54299241
>>54299276
>>54299372
You people have forgotten the faces of your fathers.

You ALMOST Kill The Lich, then seal him in concrete until the little girl has a long, happy, life under your watchful guard, protectign and nurturing her.

Then, when she has passed easily into death, you destroy that bastard lich's phylactery and tell him about the lovely life that nice girl had before smiting the everdying shit out of that jerkoff.

>>54299407
Then the ice melts and you're done. Good job.

>>54299794
The Lich will almost certainly have contingencies planned that will ruin this attempt so fast.

>>54299789
To be fair, Liches are pretty fucking top tier in power. Dragons think twice about messing with people who were so autistically devoted to magic they told Death to fuck off.
So unless you're playing a high power level game it's not going to work so well.

Comfy undead though, totally doable.

Make phylactery from a small sphere of adamantine. Cast the sphere into the inner surface of a very large brass pot with a lid. Put the pot in an appropriately evil temple.

The blood red jewel set into the hilt of my sword.

A beautiful, exquisitely hand-crafted hairclip, given to the young daughter of a fisherman in a remote coastal village.

>>54299047

My phylactery is the iron core of the planet.

I put it in the heart of a small child, stop her aging process. To kill me would only cause immense suffering for the child until I burst out of their chest then transplant my precious phylactery to another helpless host.

>>54299188
You teleport back to where you want to be. is not like if you were a martial or something useless

>>54299047
A half eaten onion sandwich

>how are you protecting it?

Already half eaten, plus onion sandwich.

>>54299887
So you die, and reform at the planets core then die again. Then reform and die, then reform and die. I don't see the genius to this plan.

>>54299452
Fucking lazy artists passing off WiP's as finished drawings.

>>54299908
Suppose you don't die.

You've created, effectively, another immortal. An Immortal who will eventually have aged far beyond a regular human lifespan while remaining a small child. Life would be hell for them, and they would want nothing more than to die. So, supposing they find out that they're a phylactery while researching their immortality, they fucking stab their own heart out, and then your phylactery is gone.

>>54299350
That feel when you realise that Paul IS dead

I'd hide it in the ceiling. Nobody looks up there.

>>54299958
>and they would want nothing more than to die
Are you so absolutely sure about that? I would be pretty damn fucking grateful to the guy who gave me eternal life, AND eternal childhood.

A vial of blood in my graveyard tower you fags.

>>54300009
You can't do SHIT as a child, especially in medieval lich times. You'll never have enough physical strength, never have enough authority, you'll constantly have to deal with "adults" younger than you taking charge of you.

>>54299188
The air inside a vial
then break the vial so the air mixes with the normal air
now i will reform where the wind goes.
go on, try to destroy all the air

>>54300045
That's when you pass yourself off as a dwarf.

A wand of create "wand of create wand"

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>>54300065
>A Dwarf
>Without beard nor muscles

>>54300049
>then break the vial so the air mixes with the normal air
I'm pretty sure that counts as the destruction of your phylactery.

Otherwise breaking apart or disintegrating other pylacteries doesn't count as destruction and instead is just.. spreading them?

>>54300069
So the party uses detect magic and sweeps the pile of Wands. They find the one that flows black instead of green and breaks it.

>>54300084
A halfling then.

I hate what Harry Potter did to liches. Your phylactery isn't supposed to be any randumb object you want. The lich is an arrogant undead wizard, centuries old, and he's not going to risk the chance some idiot peasant will find his phylactery (which isn't the size of a rock btw, it's an ceremonial object where he stores his soul and important organs. It's recognizable and fragile.) and destroy it.

And nobody wants to respawn stuck inside the belly of a fish.

>>54300084
A human dwarf, Anon.

>>54300049
>one day a drunken dwarf in a tavern thinks it's a good idea to fart on a torch
>meanwhile a superlich ceases to exist

>>54299958
So make it a qt3.14 and waifu her forever?

>>54300192
You don't die if they destroy your phylactery, you simply can't come back.

A single link in a chain holding a floating city to the ground.
Then I train a bunch of cunt birds to attack anyone climbing up and down the chain.
Break the chain and the city floats into orbit.
Try and get close enough to do something smart and the birds shit all over you.

Proceed to smoke skeleton weed and bone bitches until the civilization inevitably falls then turn the ruins into my floating dungeon and prestige class into dungeon lord.

>>54299047
The wedding ring of my deceased wife, who was buried in a simple grave in our town when I was still mortal. I will let her rest. I will cleanse the world of all who can disturb her. She will rest.

>>54299047
My phylactory is a large, fairly tacky costume crown sitting in a studio warehouse in Hollywood. While reforming I just look like a skeleton prop.
Every once in a while they bring it out for use in some cheesy B movie, and that gives me the opportunity to enthrall an actor or two. They make for good backup minions in the event I need to reestablish my power base.

>>54299887
The core is mostly nickel, though.

>>54300465
If the players heard that then I'm sure they'll mess up the grave even if they couldn't think of a good reason.

>>54299552
I never expose my belly, I always expose my butt

>>54299047
I spared no expense. I took vast sum of wealth I spent I spent my entire life and unlife amassing and purchased the largest mountain in the world. I then carved out that mountain into the world's largest fortress. At the very top is a room for my phylactery. The fortress is designed in a spiral pattern so you must take the longest possible route there. I have enough wards in place to make sure they can't just bypass the whole thing.

I then filled the fortress with the most vicious beasts and lethal traps I could find. Every wall, floor, and most ceilings have traps aplenty. In most rooms the floors are cunning beasts in disguise. And at the before the final one, stands my greatest triumph. A bone golem of a like never seen before. Crafted from the bones of the 4 most powerful adventurers I had done battle with, armor reinforced by ancient dwarves of legend, multiple wards and magical items that allow it to take even the most dangerous of my own spells without flinching. Purely invincible, and the door crafted from pure adamantium, is warded to only open on his death. It is perfect.

And then I dropped the fucking thing in the toilet before I had a chance to put it on the altar with the carefully arranged spotlights to fully show off it's majesty. Now I can't find a plumber that can get past all the deathtraps to get it out. It's going to take centuries to get this fixed!

>>54300373

What's stopping someone from linking to chains together with a longer chain? Cutting your chain from the process.

>>54300727
The birds, obviously.

>>54299787
>the lich's phylactery is his favorite laz-e boy, enchanted to be the most comfy chair in the multiverse.

>>54300971
>"We need to destroy the phylactery!"
"Okay, but have you TRIED sitting in this thing? It's amazing."
>"That's not the point, he's a foul immortal gong against the natural order!"
"Oh shit he's got a mini fridge here! And what's this remote control?"
>"Stop playing with the sound system and prepare the ritual to destroy this infernal device!"
"I don't know.. can't I keep it instead or something?"
>"I miss the days of dread thrones of bone and skulls..."

>>54300115
The phylactery bus the content, not the vial. Unless you make the vial your phylactery

>>54301205
Is, fucking autocorrect

>>54300686
>the players would do the one thing specifically designed to piss of the insane lich and send him on a vindictive rampage
That's exactly what I want them to do.

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>>54299047
A gigalich, as I've come to call him, is one of the most powerful characters in my canon.
Basically I made a lv40 character as a joke for a campaign that was nowhere near that level. "Oh yeah you can do it but you'll not be playing." So I decided to expand on a few character ideas that I had for a long time and made Zaranth.

This spiraled out of control and I created a guy that can benchpress half the moon and toss pebbles at the mightiest dragons to turn them into paste. All thanks to stupid template shenanigans.

However, this isn't enough power for the ultimate goal so he meddles in lives of adventurers to get them to come after him so he can eat them to gain more power. He's the mastermind behind the horde of undead that wiped out the paladin's village, etc. All so he can get strong enough to stop the heat death of the multiverse by turning it into an undead.

Anyway, to have fingers in so many pies he makes clones of himself to do shit. Also obviously has fuckhueg amount of undead, including pic related. Phylactery is in a room in this castle giant skeleton thing. Have to fight through powerful undead to get to it.

Open the door and a bunch of clones playing poker turn to look at you.
"Finally, my hand was shit anyway."

>>54300170
There's nothing that explicitly states a phylactery has to be anything. There are examples given like the box with stuff in it, but I personally think it's more interesting to have players go on a quest to find clues as to what it is than killin the lich, walking into next room and smashing the box sitting on a pedestal.

Why would important organs be in the box anyway? It's not like destroying the phylactery kills the lich. You still have to kill the guy after breaking it.

>>54299047
I make it the 2016 Cubs WS trophy. It will be defended for the rest of time

>>54300170
>Your phylactery isn't supposed to be any randumb object you want. The lich is an arrogant undead wizard
Which is why Voldemort explicitly made all his phylacteries from the treasures of his rivals (such as heirlooms from the school's founding fathers), and then stuck each one in an extremely leathal trap. That's pretty fucking arrogant, if you ask me. Not saying HP is some masterwork of literature, but did you honestly even read the books?

>>54300724
That's cute. Bumbling undead masterminds give me unlife.

>>54299292
Then the Inevitables show up because "uguu no one is allowed to live past their natural time." Fucking hate those clockwork assholes.
Always ruining my skelenaps

>>54299047
A single book hidden within the petrified Library of Shadows, forever locked behind an enchanted door in the deepest reaches of Mar van Rook, The Demon City of the Mountains. Known to hold over a million million books, scrolls, and articles from the dawn of the cosmos, any foolhardy hero would die of age before finding the singular instrument of my doom, let alone the bibliographical monsters that roam the library itself.
It's One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish, in the Kid's section.

I open a portal in time and fling THAT into the future. Fuck you, Samurai.

>>54301679
>Now your phylactery no longer exists in this time and he just cuts you down without any problems.

Suspended in low earth orbit in a sealed box made of aluminum and walls of force.


Inside is a spell book filled with good spells including teleport without error.


The whole thing is suspended with immovable rods, and lined with lead.


Every 500 years I descend to do some skeleton shenanigans, then die and return to my safe box in the sky

>>54299047
Some sort of goblet or gem or whatever, extremely valuable. I will then dedicate my utmost effort to meme a powerful religion into believing the item is a sacred relic of their faith. Then they will protect said relic and I'll throw in a few lines about how it is a blasphemy to enter the relic's chamber when it's not the sacred decennial celebration day, so that nobody interrupts me when I'm reforming.

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>>54301851

>>54299188
Not either of those retards. I'll build my castle next to a gigantic fucking forest and make my phylactery a single leaf on a single tree. Impossible for adventurers to find, easy for me to reform and go home.

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>>54301983
>anon is killed by a fucking caterpillar

Think for a few seconds next time.

I'm not quite sure if this fits in with how Lich lore works but I had an idea where a Lich turns 6 people in his Phylacteries and in the process makes them immortal.

>>54301903
>respawn on top of the kaba
>'now, worship me peasants'
>get stoned for desecration

>Make Phylactery an unassuming piece of treasure, such as a goblet or precious jewel
>Get killed by adventurers
>Adventurers take treasure
>Reform a few nights later while they're resting
>Surprise bitches

The heart of my dead lover cast in gold, protecting it in a huge castle made of ice and evil stone and I protect the surrounding area by resurrecting fallen adventures and local villagers as my undead army that I use to threaten the surrounding nations that send more adventures at me to kill me for good.
Any other answer is a meme answer.

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Anyone hold a campaign centered arround going to these obscure hiding spots to find and destroy phalactaries?

>>54301715
Paradox ensues when you respawn in the future. Then create a new phylactery and toss that one into the past.

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I make my phylactery the concept of time
lets see you faggots kill time itself

>>54302220
>Implying players wouldn't do that given the means

>>54302220
>Banish anon to demiplane in which time does not exist
>Anon dies immediately

>>54299047
>ITT: you are a lich. You have 1 phylactery. What is it, and how are you protecting it?
depends on if i can make a deal with a red dragon or not.
if so, a single gold coin in it's hoard.

I wear it on my forehead, duh. It's a phylactery. Nobody expects you to carry it on your person anymore.

>>54302202
>party spends sessions preparing for and getting to the moon
>detect evil
>it's everywhere
>start destroying every grain of phalactary laced sand
>detect evil still goes off
>the phalactary is the moon itself
>crash it into the sun
>the dent caused by the moon dispells the phalactary laced sun

>>54301983
>Not either of those retards
But act exactly the same.
This thread is a disappointment with all these "I'm so clever xD" posts.

>>54302179
What party doesn't cast detect magic on all loot? Does your DM just skip that step and tell you "yeah this is a magic item"?

>>54299418
>bottom of the ocean
>reform after being murdered
>oceanic pressure implodes you almost instantaneously

>>54302309
Actually yes.

>>54302328
Then I would kick him in the nuts if he handed me a phylactery chalice without pointing that out.

>>54302298
>I'm so clever xD

>Be evil spellcaster
>Crave immortality enough to go through incredibly difficult and/or dangerous process to achieve Lichdom
>Create phylactery, fucking important item that will also ensure your immortality but also instakill you if destroyed
>Not trying to be meticulously careful when deciding on phylactery's form and location
The "grain of sand rule exploit" method of thinking is a perfectly valid mindset for a Lich to have. Becoming an immortal undead is exploiting the rules of nature in of itself.

>>54301983
>Sets fire to the forest

Well that was easy.

I would have my Phylactery be a granite pot which I tape onto the back of my pet Rust Monster.

I them proceed to blast the fuck out of any casters whilst laughing maniacally at the warriors fleeing in terror from the source of all my power.

There is no harder place to hit an adventurer than their hard earned loot.

>>54302396
My phalactary is the fire, I have to keep it going if i want to live. Forests, villages, kingdoms, it's all fuel for my livelihood.

>>54299228
Or just put it in a lead cube on the moon like a not-plebeian.

The Multiverse is my phylactery and I can choose where to reform.

>>54302393
Boring as fuck is what it is. It's the kind of solution a mtg spike would come.

>>54299047
Can I make it the Hoover Dam?

>>54299047
This sounds dumb as fuck, but what if my phylactery was the plane of Positive Energy?

>>54302448
>lead
>blocks magical scrying

This is what atheists actually believe.

>>54302111
Harry potter but worse

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>>54302448

>>54302471
Worse how? I'm not arguing with you, I just don't know enough about lich's

>>54302463
Stop trying to redefine what an "object" is.

>>54302505
A random Paladin, then.

I masquerade as a lich and my "phylactery" is a devious trap.
>I was only pretending

>>54299047
I hide it in a cave in frostfuck mountain and put it in a hole encased in a lead box. then I disguise the hole and put a treasure chest on top of it full of reasonable treasure. Also some medium tough guard on the chest. a ghoul or something.

How often do adventurers look at a looted chest twice?

>>54302462
This might actually be the only good idea in this thread

>>54302314
Your pressure would be equalized unless you pop in fully formed. If anything you'll have the most problems resurfacing.

Assuming 5e:

>Demiplane
>Put phylactery in demiplane
>Sequester

Or

>Use phylactery as component for Imprisonment: Minimus Containment
>Imprison Tarrasque
>Set Spell Glyphs of Warding: Haste, Greater Invisibility, Fly
>Set to trigger on Tarrasque if ever released.
>Phylactery is now unbreakable
>Any dipshit who dispels your prison now has to deal with a hasted, invisible, flying tarrasque.

>>54301524
Does anything send out the Inevitables or are they comprised of pure "fuck you and your happiness"?

>>54302220
I invent WoW.
Nerds everywhere relax by playing it. In other words, killing time.

Hey, it's no less a dumb idea than making a phylactery the concept of time.

Inside an orc baby

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I make my phylactery the golden crest on my armour and then enchant it so that only a perfect strike will crack it.

>>54302568
>Implying orcs don't fuck their own babies

That shit would end up as tribal jewelry in less than a week after it's born.

>>54302504
No no its just that Harry potter IS a phylactery but nor immortal. I don't like harry potter that much so I called the plan Harry potter but worse.

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A single seed, which I will tend to with care. One day, the seed will become a tree and the tree will bear fruit. Nature will spread the seeds and more trees will sprout from them. Soon, my phylactery will be an entire orchard and I will have sad-looking golems tend to it. You wouldn't destroy a golem's orchard, would you?

>>54302587
Oh, I got you. Would it matter if the people knew ahead of time that they were to become Phylacteries and were part of the plan originally?

>>54299047
>build a castle that acts as a giant ritual setup
>the layout of buildings, rooms and connecting passages is in line with arcane sigils and natural flows of magical energy in reaction to them
>water pipes, boilers and steam vents are used to create water currents of hot and/or cold water where needed that continually enhance the flow of energy, as well as maintain the right temperature and humidity in the dungeon so books won't rot over centuries, as well as provide warmer, more humid zones to grow botanicals for potions and keep habitats for my exotic critters and live experiments
>channels of magically sensitive metals acting as the equivalent of wiring to direct and regulate magical energies to keep minor enchantments (such as the various witchlights, magical locks and alarm spells) powered indefinitely without having to go around the whole building re-casting all these fucking spells or wasting time on permanency when some of them might not even work with that spell
>main "generators" for the building are gateways to elemental planes where a structure on the other side acts like a mining rig, with undead servants doing all the labor and guard duty
>one way "exit" gate into the plane of shadow designed to funnel runoff negative energy out of the facility back where it belongs, which is structured to contain it as much as possible, to minimize the runoff that might destabilize the region and indicate my lair is where it is, since nobody looks for the lich's dungeon in the verdant forest that isn't oozing with evil magic
>keep phylactery on the other end of this portal, and make sure the structure on the other end contains a one-way teleportation circle to get me back to my resting quarters within the castle
>construct the circle to connect to my phylactery as part of the ritual; worst-case scenario if it's destroyed and I die, I trap my killers in a plane of infinite dark and death

>>54302338
>abloobloobllo i want to win 4ever

>>54302608
Pretty sure the phylactery is 'destroyed' by the time it's been turned into a tree and nothing remains of the seed.

But the idea of a gardener lich is a pretty fun one.

>>54299047
the US constitution.

>>54302608
If the discarded fruit becomes an extension of your phylactery, by that logic, a smashed up phylactery isn't destroyed but rather "becomes a pile of dust".

At best, you'd die with the tree and at worst you'd die when the seed destroys itself in the growth process.

>>54302393
I actually rule that a Lich can only prepare spells when he is in direct contact with his phylactery to prevent shenanigans like that.

>>54302627
It does matter a bunch. I'd do it myself with some friends but they would obviously have massive regrets later on.

>>54302637
>it's okay for the DM to just fucking lie about the results of your successfully cast detect magic spells.

>>54299047
My philactery is a uncospicious gem, hidden amidst a treasure, sealed into a vault at the end of a dungeon protected by a number of ingenuous traps and creatures of the underground.

I'm a lich, being a lich, as history teaches, never goes well, because there will be some adventurers that will eventually kill you. So I test them to see if they're worthy of my death, and reward them with treasure if they get to the bottom of my dungeon.

I'll have a set of false phylacteries hidden in the vault, so that they might find them and destroy them, so they can assure themselves that i'm dealt with.

In the following centuries, i'll reform myself, probably inside the vault of some bank, or in the treasure chest of some brigand, or, if luck on my side, in the hoard of a dragon, with which i hope i'll be able to strike a bargain

>>54302642
You'll hate the next eight years.

I'm the type of lich that doesn't need a phylactery.

>>54302650
That seems a little harsh, the lich was a wizard before they became undead after all. Well, probably.

Requiring the lich to have regular contact with the phylactery makes sense though, maybe only higher levelled spells though? The Master of Magic and Defier of Death can probably still manage to work out a way to cast Grease when away from his magic soul box the way I see it.

>>54302666
Again, what lich's treasure horde -isn't- thoroughly scoured with detect magic after killing him? If you thought that stupid idea up, anyone with average intelligence would too.

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>>54302309
>he doesn't know about nystul's

Amulet of Lava Resistance in a dormant volcano

>>54299404
Murphy's Law is going to get you relatively fast.

What if a passing owner decides to use the coin as a spell component? Or they get 'shifted to the Plane of Fire? Or disintegrated?

>>54302721
There's a spell for that and every lich should be casting that spell that makes magical items not appear to be magical on their phylactery

>>54302721
But how are they gonna know that it's -my- treasure?

I don't plan to literally sit in my dungeon brooding all day, my treasure vault will probably be on another continent on the other side of the world

Also if i'm a lich, i think i can conjure up some spell to mask the magic aura of my phylactery

>>54302754
>>54302818
>party casts an enchantment on horde
>one coin still pings non-magic

Also
>5e

>>54302459
>Spot the scrub on MTG
Mad that your craw wurm deck always loses?

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>>54302648
Nah, man. The phylactery isn't the seed as a concrete, it's more like the -idea- of the seed as an abstract concept. It isn't destroyed when it grows, it's just bigger. When it reproduces, it doesn't cease to be, it lives on through its descendants. Even when the original tree withers away, the fruits that trace their lineage back to the first seed can still be enjoyed by everyone.

>>54302825
I mean, if i'm a Lich, i don't need to physically go there and get my gold if i need to buy some new robes, i can just summon my money wherever i want

Also, what use is money for a lich anyway? I'm an almost-all-powerful mage, I don't need baubles except that the adventures need some kind of reward at the end of a dungeon

>>54299931
Can you cast/prepare Teleport when you're entirely immersed in plasma?

>>54299188
Reforming underwater isn't dangerous at all if you're undead, and being in a remote location is no particular hindrance when you can cast Teleport.

>>54302825
>But how are they gonna know that it's -my- treasure?
You literally just said you'd reward the party with the treasure if they kill you.

And the whole discussion is moot if you aren't there to protect it -- if that's the case you're better off burying a simple stone because loot gets stolen and accidentally destroyed all the time.

>>54302839
>my phylactery is an idea.

Well gee, I'm going to make my phylactery the idea of "math", leave "2+2=4" scribbled all over the planet, and live forever! Sod off.

This thread reveals just how many people actually play D&D vs those who are here to shitpost.

The phylactery costs 120,000 gp. This means that any object, which must be a case which holds the binding spells which hold the soul of the Lich, must be worth at least that much. Many of the things suggested is munchkinesque bullshit akin to becoming Koschei, who is a unique variant lich who used the power of an earth goddess (the Baba Yaga is so much more than just a witch).

>>54302872
But that's the point. If loot is constantly stolen, my phylactery is perfectly safe, because not even I know where it is!(actually i do, but it's that kind of phrase that sound cool).
I also might simply pawn my own phylactery to a local merchant, and see where it goes. I might be a lich, but i like adventure, y'know?

>>54299047
My phylactery is a cloud

>>54302551
Depressurization is only an issue if you're attached to your squichy tissues with all their fluids and gases dissolved therein. Most liches generally aren't. Skeletons don't get the bends.

>>54302897
>Playing D&D
Kill yourself

>>54302897
>The phylactery costs 120,000 gp.

It costs that much to create it. Even if that was entirely in materials (when really it could all just be enchantment tools) there are many expensive materials that can be disguised as rocks, common gold coins, etc.

>>54299188
>what is fire immunity

>>54302915
>Turn a computer into a phylactery
>Store the spell in a data cloud
>Become Agent Smith

I like liches as bodysnatchers because it prevents the really boring responses. Hide your phylactery too carefully and you'll never reform, hide it too poorly and you'll get it smashed.

>>54302906
>If loot is constantly stolen, my phylactery is perfectly safe

You missed the sentence where I said the exact opposite is the case. Anyone who's actually played an RPG knows this is hilariously false.

>>54302808 gives some good examples. Rust monsters, acid traps, hell, even a sword hitting someone's money pouch would kill you.

>make some kind of godly artefact my phylactry
Zeus's thunderbolt
Mjolnir
Book of thoth
Something where even thinking about destroying it seriously pisses off some celestials.
Oooh, the Wand of Orcus

>>54299047
It's a giant robot. Chicks dig giant robots.

>>54302674
>eight
Not sure if overly dramatic sjw or deluded centipede. Not that there's any difference.

>>54302897
>Phylactery costs 120,000gp

I've always been curious about this. Say you have a diamond that is "worth" 5,000g, but you only sell it for 4,000. What is the price of the diamond? What happens if you take it to another part of the world where gems are in abundance or are just unwanted? Does it then become worthless? Do the primeval forces of the cosmos like to study economics in their spare time?

>>54299047
Probably some very sturdy bauble I'd keep buried in absolute middle of nowhere, natural landscape that's useless for anything and far away from everywhere, with no special guardians but enough of natural dangers and hostile environment that no one has a point of going there or settling down (alternatively, specially engineered guardians that could easily be taken for foul and dangerous, but natural local fauna).

Maybe some cursed, poisonous swamp of no alchemical value, in the middle of nowhere, maybe surrounded by mountains or some such. Just make a big hole, secure it with rocks so it won't shift, drop a high quality, resistant to most shit chest with my phylactery inside, put a huge rock on top of it, let it get submerged. Craft quality should be of as high quality as possible, with all kinds of augmentations but no magical enchantments so it won't be easily detectable by magic.

>>54302687
It's lich, not leech, autismo.

>>54302674
Can't be worse than the last two hundred.

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>>54302939
Where the fuck do you think the creature that this thread is talking about came from, you absolute dingleberry?

>>54302940
Yes, but it must be big enough to hold the various binding spells, via small scrolls, that are to be contained within it. It's literally what a phylactery is. They originated in the Hebrew religion. Those weird little square things they were on their foreheads and the arm binding, those are phylacteries containing miniature scrolls of the Torah. The lich's phylactery is a blasphemy of this ritual item.

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>>54302894
Nah, brah, you just don't get it. You can't just make your phylactery something like math because math is nothing, just like is magic is nothing, and you can't put nothing to nothing. You gotta put the nothing to something so that when the something makes something else the nothing can along with it- but you need the something because without it you won't know what the nothing is. Yin and yang, circle of life, that kind of thing. You're really harshing my mellow, dude.

>>54303058
Then your original post should have said

>his thread reveals just how many people know Jewish mysticism vs those who are here to shitpost.

But that would have made you look stupid. The D&D phylactery is deliberately vague and isn't necessarily associated with the Hebrew one.

>>54303004
Yeah, well mine's a giant chicken. Robots dig giant chickens.

>>54303107
Holes. Robots dig giant holes.

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>>54301409
>All so he can get strong enough to stop the heat death of the multiverse by turning it into an undead
That's the dopest thing I ever heared

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1. Create demi plane
2. Fuck up physics on demi plane (pic related)
3. Create mind fuck stupid difficult labirynthian dungeon full of horrifying beasts
4. Increase the flow of time so that anyone there for more than a few days will be too old to move forward.
5. Put phylactery in the center of the maze in a normal room with normal physics and a spare spellbook.

>>54303021
It's original "worth" is what matters, not what you sell it for. Primeval forces of cosmos don't study economics in their spare time, because they spend their spare time ensuring whoever tries to modify economy or kickstart industrial revolution dies in a horrible manner or disappears in any other way.

>>54302835
Satisfied that you can only rely on netdecking?

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>>54303021
>need 5k worth of diamond dust to cast spell
>merchant has a sale, everything half-price
>spell fails because paying 2.5k for the dust makes it only 2.5k worth of dust

>>54303143
>He unironically believes that netdecking is bad
Yes. I'm here to win on scrubs like you

>>54302696
Better than liches putting their phylacteries on the moon and teleporting home.

>>54303084
The initial post said that it merely must be made to cost 120k, with a further caveat due to inferences from Jewish mysticism that it more than likely is an object which contains the blasphemous binding scrolls which hold its soul within it. It's a pretty basic inference based off what's written about them and the words used to describe the objects. It's not my fault too many D&D players and shitfuckers on 4chan don't know how to google weird words to figure out just what they mean.

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>>54303168
>tfw haggling fucks you over

SORCERERS BTFO

>>54303118
I wondered where all my robots went.

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>>54303139

>>54303173
>brainlet can't even come up with a deck of his own
lmaoing @ ur life

>>54303180
>all liches get the same idea to put their phylacteries on the moon
>the moon is littered with phylacteries
>the moon people are sick of this and start throwing them back to earth

>>54303245
I know thats the Shrike but remind me what it does please.

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>>54302638
Why don't more Lich work with nature magic?
Makes them look less threatening both visually and of view of their deeds and they could have huge forests and other cool shit.
Where's my Lich druid? I am not talking about Siabrae though. Rather the other way around not a druid that becomes a Lich but a Lich that becomes a Druid.

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>>54299047
>The stupid fucking Phylactery can be anything thread

I swear to god, that fucking anon should have never posted THE FORGOTTEN REALMS UNIQUE EPIC-LEVEL NETHERESE SPELL OWNED BY JUST ONE LICH to make people think shit works this way. Phylactery construction is directly tied to size category and a list found the the Libris Mortis goddanmit. It's as bad as people mislead by that forum post with Lichthralls which is mostly homebrew, or people who don't know that the Libris Mortis Lichfiend is actually fucking printed missing context.

>>54303260
>the moon people are sick of this and start throwing them back to earth
But science proved that there is no people in the moon you faggot. Read some books

A tardigrade kept in an aquarium full of aquatic plants in one of the many libraries dotting my home. If I have time I'll scoop the little bastard into a little vial and bury it outback when I get wind of a strong party coming my way. If I don't get the chance, I'll have probably invested in a few dozen tanks and make up some bullshit notes about how I used to be a botanist in my past life and want to see what species may have any magical applications. Each room would have at least three evil tomes scattered about to throw them off the trail. Have fun trying to detect evil something that tiny with other shit interfering with your senses.

>>54303141
>Implying industrial revolution would even be possible in a world so young that no oil or coal had the time to form

>>54303286
He fucks with time and impale people on a tree.

>>54303304
>everything is D&D

>>54303141
>This bug is worth much more than any dime of gold because it has life and maintains a cycle of life in a biomass of its respective environment

>>54303407
So Aku but better at his job?

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>>54303426
Oh, okay then. Guess I'll have to pull up the old answer.

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>A bunch of people who literally don't know what a phylactery is.

>>54303304
>Someone else read the Libris Mortis
It's my favorite fucking sourcebook, man. Goddamned cyst spells are off the hook.

Anyway, OP is a raging fagoholic: in all my games, Phylacteries must fit the following criteria:

>must be a single, physical non-living object
>cannot be an already-enchanted item
>the process of making it into a phylactery means it cannot be further enchanted.
>If put under forces which would normally destroy the object, the phylactery is also destroyed

My personal favorite is a golden coin. Make it into a phylactery and then throw it into your nearest dragon horde.

>>54303426
You better fucking believe it is kiddo.

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>>54299047
Get the hardest gemstone possible, make it as small as possible while still passing the value requirement for a Phylactery.

Then take that gem, embed it in a block of the strongest, most impervious material I can find. Now I have two options:

First, I make the block large and use it for the base of my throne. Probably the worse of the two options.

Second, make it brick shaped. And then insert that brick into the fortress of my greatest enemy. This is probably the better of the options.

>>54303426
>I hate settings with clearly-defined rules because then how can I cheat the gm?

>>54303457
I'm not Jewish.

>>54303465
Which is great until you reform in the dragon's lair. At which the dragon decides to either destroy you and your phylactery, or use it as leverage against you for the rest of his (and your) existence.

>>54303499
It's ok. Nobody is perfect.

>>54303522
Are you Jewish.

>>54303457
And they will have the mark of the beast on their forehead and hand. Your star is the symbol of saturn you're still lost in the desert, jew.

>>54303507
This problem has actually come up before: turns out a dragon is awfully willing to cooperate with you when you're paying it mountains of gold to ransack the countryside.

>>54299047
A gem in the crown of rich king of South. Gem has tendrills, inside of which is magic writings that seal my immortality, so that the necromantic script can't be discovered without deconstructing the crown. Rest of the crown has enchantments that grant king wisdom, longevity, subtle mind link to the smartest and most knowledgeable creature in the world (that is, me) and many other benefits. It protects itself, basically.

>>54299047
I buy a Diamond necklace, then make that into my phylactery, good luck destroying it

>>54299047

I keep it in a lockbox under my bed...

>>54303596
If you enchant the whole necklace you can break it apart, thus breaking the enchantment.

You'd be better off enchanting one of the stones in the necklace. Though, diamonds can still burn.

>>54303297
>Why wont this abomination of nature and the cycle of life and death become a holy priest of nature and its spirits of life and death?

Really makes you think.

>>54303627
So a Lich doesn't have free will? That's awfully racist.

>>54303426
>Liches didnt originate in D&D
Get a load of this faggot. Liches as we think of them are a direct product of Dungeons & Dragons. That they have spread far and wide due to being a nifty monster means nothing.

>>54303672
they do, but they run on mania and force of evil, so their will gets kinda fucked

>>54303608
Yeah, I was thinking the gemstone, maybe something that wouldn't burn but is still hard as hell instead? I think an emerald would work.

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>>54303704
Burger alert! Burger alert!

>I'll make it something somewhat valuable to my biggest enemy
Sure! I'm you biggest enemy right here! Bake it into my castle, why don't you. Turn it into the crown on my head. Just hand it to me on a silver platter. Thats just fine with me.

>>54303596
diamonds are flammable.

>>54303735
Why would I become an enemy of King of South? Why would I ever make him aware of my existence?

>>54303732
>Various works of fantasy fiction, such as Clark Ashton Smith's "Empire of the Necromancers", had used lich as a general term for any corpse, animated or inanimate, before the term's specific use in fantasy role-playing games. The more recent use of the term lich for a specific type of undead creature originates from the 1976 Dungeons & Dragons role-playing game booklet Greyhawk, written by Gary Gygax and Rob Kuntz.

Huh, would you look at that. Before D&D it just meant a corpse, and after D&D it meant a specific form of undead which uses a phylactery to keep its existence going.

>>54303718
make your phylactery a wafer of graphene.

>>54303718
A Phylactery can't be enchanted, but perhaps an artificially created gemstone that has the strength of a diamond but isn't flammable. Don't think that would inherently be enchanted.

Wonder if you could weave that revival magic tied to the Phylactery to possess the wearer of the Gemstone. That way you could work it into a necklace, something shiny that an adventurer would wear.

That way not only I revive, but also kill someone who helped kill me.

I like this plan.

>>54303139
>4. Increase the flow of time so that anyone there for more than a few days will be too old to move forward.

The obvious ironic twist would be for another immortal to hunt you down

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>>54303799

>>54303784
oooh yeah, then add some extra bonus on the enchantment to incentivize wearing it, like bonus charisma!

>>54303708
Nature isn't quite a good loving mother either, so they can still be some kind of druid.

>>54303761
The point is the phylactery us no longer under your contol. The king wants a new crown? RIP. Some pesky adventures roll well on persuasion? RIP? An enemy demolishes the castle your phylactery is sealed in? RIP.

>>54303827
Only the Phylactery can't be enchanted. But if the rest of the necklace is we could make it impossible not to wear it.

>>54303829
That's why I keep an eye on the King (>>54303580), so that I can help out with, hum, difficult situations. While staying in the shadow, of course.

I will enchance it for maximum superquick regeneration effect and hide my phylactery in my trousers or robes or whatever. Then, when slain without the attack destroying phylactery as well, I will seemingly regenerate by jumping out of my own bony ass, thus destroying all morale adventurers would have.

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>>54303847
I have a feeling I know where this is going

>>54299047
My phylactery ous my ego. As long as I still believe in the best at what I do, I will live on forever. What do i do? Rock and roll of course. My entire unlife has been spent searching for one I could call a worthy successor to my legacy.

So put that sword away Paladin. Smiting me down here and now is simply wasting both of our time. If you still want to destroy me, my battle of the bands so happens to be next week. Should you our ant other rocker emerge the winner, my unlife 's work will be complete, I shall pass on, proud that my legacy shall live on beyond me.

But compete and lose, and your life is forfeit, and your corpse will be added to my groupies, or broken down to be made into instruments. And I must warn you, I have never lost.

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>>54303766
The point is that the concept of "evil magic user who stores their soul in an object in order to achieve immortality" is not a concept D&D invented

>>54303968
Am I supposed to know who every faggot elf is?

>>54303968
Yes, neither is the concept of undead. But that anon is right, when put together, "undead magic user called lich that stores their soul in an object to achieve immortality" is a D&D invention.

object placed in lead box
box placed inside a cube of as much orichalcum you can produce, but not so large that you could re-form inside said box.
shunt that shit into the astral plane.

>>54300192
this is one of the funniest things i think that could happen to that guy.

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>>54303988
>He doesn't know about the Lord of Gifts

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>>54299047
I'll make my phylactery a small stone statue of a dog, and surround it with golden sarcophogi and statues of great and powerful people, works of priceless art and magical items, all of which incorporate a dog of some kind. Then i'm going to start up and maintain a heroic kingdom, acting as a benevolent ruler from the shadows. The dog will become our national symbol, and we will put it on literally everything. I'm going to then start a crusade against evil, if I succeed i'll treat all captured and conquered combatants fairly and equally, so that they actually like my kingdom. If I don't succeed then i'll at least attempt to maintain my kingdom. If my kingdom is ransacked nobody will think to look for the source of my power in a trinket, and they'll more than likely just sell it for a pittance on their way home, because it was surrounded by hundreds of more valuable pieces just like it, whereupon I can reform, buy my phylactery back and try again. If they do take me all the way home, I can reform, steal my phylactery, and run, because, having acted from the shadows through my kingdom, none of the ransackers should know who I am anyway.

And that is my plan.

>all these people choosing concepts instead of physical objects
Hate to play with people power gaming that hard.

>>54300170
Bruh, I don't think you read the books

>>54299047
My phylactery is a non-descript stone hidden in a secret chamber in a bunker at the bottom of the ocean surrounded by much more conspicuous treasure

Whatever, I'll probably take a plane and dump it over Canada

The crown of a tyrant.

>>54299047
Bonded my ribcage together and sealed the bottom and top with some metal I can't remember the name of. Now I leave a small hole in the top and drop a pebble in in. I then pour molten steel in through the top to bury my phylactery in an unreasonably tough ribcage that makes me look like a robot. Repeat steel process for all other bones. Tfw I am kicked from table.

>>54299188
Why do you need to reform?

>>54304708
natural movements of the tides and pressure of the ocean crush the chamber, the water floods in, washes the stone away, and gradually erodes it.

>>54304002
Who is Koschei the Immortal?

>>54304738
canadians find it, too polite to destroy it, keep it safe for you. you win 10/10 plan. unless one of the geese find it first. in the even of a canadian /pol/lack finding it first, it will still be safe, but they will send you picture messages of how small your stone is in comparison to a photo shopped picture of a black stone.

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ITT: Mr. No spergs.

>>54305023
The chamber is magically supported, plus alarm is permanently cast on the chamber in the event something gos wrong I teleport in, grab my phylactery and then teleport out

>>54299047
>ctrl+f "Voyager probe"
555-COME-ON-NOW

>>54305107
in that case why don't you just keep the phylactery on you at all times in the first place?

>>54305141
you know how things get back to earth from space right? controlled crashing?

>>54304002
Nigger, are you being serious right now?
Koshei Bessmertniy would like a fucking word.

>>54305150
In the event someone wants to kill me they can't do it just by finding me, they have to find my bunker that's been guarded from scrying at the bottom of the ocean

>>54305141
I thought about that but in D&D something like that seems dangerous, especially since I don't think phylacteries have the same kind of mundane immunities as horcruxes.

Also HPMOR was pretty terrible in retrospect.You may laugh at me for needing to add the last two words of the previous sentence.

My last NPC Lich carved it on the bones of an immortal PC. The look on his face when he realized it was priceless.

>>54305223
but you've already said you can teleport, so even if they find you it doesn't matter

>>54299047
A vial labelled "Ass balm."

>>54305297
What if he's taken by surprise?

>>54305323
Joke's on you, my PC is a sensate Bard

>>54305341
then that could happen if he teleported to his cavern too couldn't it?

>>54299404
>>Used in international trade.
>>Melted into foreign coins.

>>54299047
My phylactery is the beard of the current Dwarf king which gets passed to every successive generation. No one fucks with that guy, my immortality is assured.

>>54299047
A lichen.

>>54305413
in this instance. while it's cool, i don't think they let you make phylacteries out of living things for the sole reason of it being too op. though if you were able to it'd be really useful. maybe you could call it something like Godrot and it only grows in places where evil deeds have been committed.

>>54305366
It's less likely

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>>54299047
>What is it, and how are you protecting it?

The black hole at the center of the galaxy. Neutronium golems guard it to maintain the facility of causality.

>>54303139
it doesn't means the monsters will die of old age?

Has nobody considered that the mere fact that the "Wish" spell exists means that none of these methods are foolproof.

>>54302279
Immediately?

>>54305498
The monsters could exclusively be undead or something else that doesn't age

>>54305498
maybe you could genetically engineer or magically engineer or even just breed some monsters that mature really fast, breed and gestate even faster, and give birth to many many offspring.

>>54302431
Fucking cool!

>>54299047
It's the Lichslayer-Weapon of the Protag

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>>54302431
so a bit like this guy?

>>54305598
that'd actually be a cool concept for a story. the legendary weapon is the only thing that can destroy the lich, but it's also the only thing that keeps bringing him back. nobody would dare think to destroy it, because what would we do without the legendary lich destroyer? what if we're wrong about it being his phylactery? he'd kill us all. so starts a legend of zelda-esque heroes of the ages quest, where new heroes rise to defeat the same evil over and over again.

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>>54305508
my phylactery is the wish spell

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>>54305656

>>54305508
My phylactery is the transcendental concept of the Wish spell. Which is reinforced as real and physical as a construct every time the spell is used

>>54300706
slut

>>54305508
huh? We are playing D&D?

Ugh

>>54305508
The Phylactery grants immunity for any spells or magical effects that may attempt to disrupt a Lich's Life force anon, and life force, which are the comopsite energies that make up the soul, and are thus, the soul itself mean that Wishes cannot actually destroy the Phylactery.

To note, the destruction of a Phylactery does not really automatically result in the immediate death of the Lich, it just returns their Liche's soul to it's body, meaning the Lich cannot return from the dead if destroyed.

To also note is that the Lich's soul is in the phylactery for it's own protection against it's owners now negative energy run body, as this is the reason why they sometimes die on it's return, the Liche's lifeforce is utterly snuffed inside of the Negative energy saturated decayed juice box that is their body, they effectively die all over again and receive permanent soul damage that is utter irrevocable, and usually has horrible side-effects if they do survive at this precise point.

Maces of disruption fuck with the Bumper Car tier Negative energy line the lich shares with it's patron plane, and it's direct interface with it's soul, which is why they are hurt by them.

>>54305734
Though to note, there is some lich fluff that dictates that they can fix themselves if they get out of this near-death situation through good old soul consumption, so there is this.

>>54300706
Because it's fat saggy and ugly, right?

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>>54305734
Of course, nothing stops you from wishing the casting of a spell in the wish's limitations that casts spell at the known location or coordinates of a lich's phylactery to destroy it...

>>54305734
the old lich fluff also states they need to keep fresh corpses around their phylactery to inhabit after they die. which is also why their phylactery is usully kept somewhere their minions can access on a semi-regular basis to bring new corpses there.

>>54305734
so then you could instead wish that the lich was no longer a lich, because that does not disrupt their life forces, just disentangles them from the phylactery while keeping them alive.

then you can kill them.

also i'd say that the wish spell is perhaps one of the few that can overrule the phylactery's effects

>>54305734
Oh right, and technically failure to the state of Lichdom become fireliches and literally burn forever in constant agony as a result. There's no confirmation if this can happen on lichdeath, but I won't say It can't happen.

>>54305834
That's still canon, they do it at the forth stage in the transformation process just before they finish the phylactery, which is interesting to note.

Did you guys know the Twisted Rune made a Vampire use a phylactery?

>>54299047
The holy chastity belt of the eternal virgin, a relic passed down to every nubile nun in the Sect of the Secret Flame, a sect that I started a thousand years ago as a joke in an act of pure lurid amusement at my own brilliance.

>>54304890

According to D&D when your body is destroyed it's reformed where your phylactery is

>>54299931

So you are assuming your body reforms with all of your magic items and all of your spells prepared to cast? Are you able to do so while being whipped around in a tornado?

>>54299817
If your idea is foolproof enough it needs contingencies, then maybe it isn't so foolproof.
Aka: well, if the heroes put me in concrete, defused the timed bomb in my belly, neutralised the cyanide capsule in my tooth and killed all the hired killers I set upon myself, I'll always have the contingency slowly decomposing bag of heroin to overdose me.

>>54306220
What about according to other more important systems, like Exalted, Warhammer Fantasy, and dare I say it, GURPS?

>>54306309
desu if they're already rooting around in your body how wouldn't they see the heroin bag?

>>54302309
A party of all barbarians.

>>54299047
>ITT: You are a lich
Damn, where did my life go so wrong?

>>54307877
For it to have gone wrong, it would have to have been right at some point.

>>54307877
when you suddenly thought "man, being able to feel things and enjoy life sucks, i should become some skeletal nerd whose only destiny is to be completely rekt by some charismatic party of chads and stacies.

>>54303135
thanks. I was super excited when the epiphany of his ultimate goal finally hit me.

it might involve finding out where Azathoth is. I've been getting more and more into Lovecraft lately.

>>54308279
Holy fucking shit, someone else figured out undeath's stop of natural order through perpetual stasis and undeath can technically reverse entropy.

Black Hole? Animate it, Gratz, enjoy the zombie stars.

>>54302393
you don't instantly die if your phylactery is destroyed though. you will just actually die when killed. you can make a new one.

>>54299047
Assuming reasonable limits on what is allowed, a generically evil looking amulet or some such tucked away in a reasonably spacious crypt in the extensive graveyard surrounding my evil lair.

If we get to go full ham (and assuming 3.5 RAWfuckery), it doesn't particularly matter what it is, but it's gonna be tucked away (along with numerous fakes) in a fortress designed to be as maddeningly slow as possible to progress through, filled with undead and constructs with orders to use nonlethal damage only, on the Positive Energy Plane. Enjoy trying to not explode before you find it, fuckers.
(For those not versed in 3.5 RAWfuckery, by a strict reading of the rules as written, undead are not harmed by the positive energy plane, gaining the temp HP as described, but are immune to the whole get exploded thing. Constructs are similarly immune to getting exploded)

>>54302563
there have been a few things. I think in pathfinder they made these beings that created them, but maybe they learned how to make themselves?

Either way they are completely independent and they will tirelessly pursue you forever. Hence the name.

it's also why you fucking kill them and add them to your undead horde. They're outsiders, not constructs, so it works.

>>54301409
>a whole room of bored level 40 liches turn to the singular challenge they've had in centuries
if the party doesn't collectively shit themselves irl from that I think they have lost the ability to fear.

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>>54305840
there's already a spell for that, but it's "return to life if corpse/undead is caster level x 100 years old"

if lich becomes too old, can't do.

and people need to stop acting like Wish does whatever you ask

>"Every wish has its limits."
>"If you try to produce effects greater than [the specific things listed here] your wish may be perverted."

it's not a get out of jail free card

>>54308542
well, actually, as per the rules of making clones of shit they're half the level of the original.

The clones do not try to rise above for a reason. Zaranth is too mighty.

>>54308394
fuck yes. zombie stars is a fantastic idea

I was more thinking that, at the time where the heat death is about to happen, perform the ultimate True Necromancy and make everything RUN on entropy.