Such is life in Faerûn: LARP invasions and crossovers

>>54252362
>Literally wants to ruin some people's fun and immersion because they piss him off
>how do you do it without becoming a That Guy?
You don't. What's your problem with them, really? I don't have much experience in LARPing

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Aeswyn had her doubts about the strangely garbed human that referred to itself as Stalker. At least she thought it was human, the masked thing smelled terrible and spoke in an accent of a people from the far north. But it was nice to have some company on the way back from the town, especially now that the wildlife had become worryingly aggressive.

“Careful Stalker, dangerous creatures roam these woods.”

“Is no problem, cyka. I am experienced S.T.A.L.K.E.R, killed many beasts.”

“That may be so, but you have never seen creatures such as ours.”

“We shall see.”

A sudden rustling from the bushes catches the ear of Aeswyn and drops to the floor. Stalker meanwhile, turns around nonchalantly and stares at her.

“Hush Stalker, something approaches.”

“I of know, heard it many minutes ago.”

“What, why didn’t you warn me?”

“Is of small and by self, no need to worry.”

“Small! Small things don’t make so much noise stalker.”

“Keep moaning like leetle cyka, maybe it will come to snack on you.”

“Why do you keep calling me that? What does it even m-“

All of a sudden, a huge boear comes crashing out of the brush with a thunderous squealing and skids to face the pair.

“Stalker look out, it’s a dire boar!”

“Why so scared cyka, is only leetle peeg?”

“That “little pig” is one of the most dange-“

“You scared of leetle peeg? Is ok, I deal.”

“No, what are you doing? You can’t take on that beast with a hunti-“

“Is ok, S.T.A.L.K.E.R no rookie, kill many leetle peegs with knife. Not worth rubles to shoot.”

Aeswyn bowed her head and started to prepare the healing incantations, as minor as they were, to hopefully breathe enough life back into her companion to drag him back to safety. As her eyes were shut in concentration; the sounds of ripping flesh, squeals and strange curse words filled the air.

The sight that greeted her when she opened her eyes was not what she expected. The head of the dire boar lay on the ground whilst the S.T.A.L.K.E.R was busy jamming the rest of the body into his rucksack.

“Stalker…”

“Is ok, I packed light in case I came across loot. Nice peeg will do, good dinner tonight, sing many song.”

“Stalker, how did you…”

“Is leetle peeg. You see peegs back home. Giant spider peegs, with many eye and ugly face. This peegie no problem.”

“How can you be so…so…so ok with this.”

“Eh, such is life in zone. Come, we go now.”

>>54252487

I know this is going to make me sound like even more or an arsehole, but people who take things way too seriously and swan about with an air of arrogance really aggravate me.

Now I'm all for serious roleplay and staying in character, as it can be great fun when you've got the right bunch of people with you; as many of us know.

But when you to take it to the point where you flip your shit when someone does not perfectly respond to you in Ye Olde English or you enforce "cool kid" hierarchies where all the weedy and unpopular kids are relegated to being the punching bag mooks is just not acceptable to me.

That's why I want to do something to try and liven up these humourless fuck, as well as show the poor buggers on the outskirts that LARPing can be fun and that everyone can get their turn at being a hero.

Maybe this does make me a colossal arsehole, and I suppose in many ways it does.

But I just stand there and see people be miserable, and make others miserable, in the name of fun.

>>54253248

"just can't stand"

Jesus Christ. I swear being an office administrator fucks my head up more than any shots I've ever taken.

Goddamn paper work.

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“Is of right idea?”

“Da, the golden shiny man did it before he was of killed.”

The two S.T.A.L.K.E.Rs briefly gazed down at the charred body of the paladin by their feet. Before them lay an altar of black granite, draped flowing green cloths with silver runes embroidered along it’s sides and the crimson splatter of blood from the sacrificed maiden laying on top of it.

Surrounding them lay the bodies of purple-robed cultists in various states of righteous dismemberment. Some of the twitching bodies were “mercy-killed” or “accidently” shot by the S.T.A.L.K.E.Rs themselves as they strove through the halls after the paladin.

The lead S.T.A.L.K.E.R unceremoniously kicked the paladin’s corpse out of the summoning circle whilst their subordinate removed a bloody bag from his rucksack.

“Is of fresh, da?”

“Da, it of come from companion of shiny. Fresh as can be.”

“Good. Throw it into centre.”

The subordinate did as they were told and lobbed the bag carelessly into the centre of the summoning circle. For a few moments, all was quiet except for the rasping breaths of their respirators and the impatient tapping foot of the leader.

All of a sudden, black sparks began to splutter from the bag before it erupted into a towering inferno of whirling green hell fire.

This fire began to turn into itself in ever increasing spirals until it coalesced into a giant devil with smouldering eyes and wings so dark it appeared that the abyss itself hovered behind him.

“Behold mortals, you have summoned the mighty Arg’lamor. Lord of the-”

“We understand that you of trade souls, da?”

“Puny mortal, don’t you-“

“I is of busy man of buissness. If I of call wrong man, you bring right one. If not, we chat, we make deal.”

“You of listen to S.T.A.L.K.E.R. here. I of see him walk of out deals with gods before for wasting time of his.”

>>54256318
“Hmpth, very well insects, I’ll humour you. What do you want to buy with your meagre-“

“I buy soul of yours for 10’000 rubles.”

Once more the chamber fell into silence, except for the rasp of respirators and the gentle whiff of wings flapping in confusion.

“Pardon me…Stalker, was it?”

“10’000 rubles for soul of yours.”

“I is know that sound of bad deal, but is very generous offer for S.T.A.L.K.E.R to open on. Very generous.”

“What is a…ruble?”

“Ah, I see you is clever dealer. I like. I take soul for 8’000 rubles”

“This is of most excellent deal. You should take.”

“Are…are you mocking me. Why would I sell my soul to you for less rubles.”

“You have rubles, da?”

“No, I do not have any rubles.”

“Then any ruble be great deal for you. 6’000 rubles.”

In a fit of rage, the devil breathed a torrent of eldritch fire onto the pair of S.T.A.L.K.E.R.s before his face slowly went from fiery anger to cold fear. The fire that hit the subordinate leapt and danced around him, scorching the ritual site and the bodies that surrounded them. The fire that hit the leader didn’t so much as dissipate as go…somewhere else.

Niether of them moved. Not one flinch. Not one twitch.

“Most uncivilised. 5’000 rubles.”

>>54256355
“Stop. Let’s talk. What can I get for 5’000 rubles.”

“With 5’000 rubles and of tongue that is silver, one can buy glorious rail gun of great condition and a bullet for it.”

“Sounds of bad, but rail gun is most excellent. Most Russian design. Kill giants in one shot. Kill pesky pansies who think they are of safe behind reinforced concrete many miles away. Most excellent.”

“Why would I need that?”

“Think not of yourself, but of others. 4’000 rubles.”

“Stop. Stop. I thought we were negotiating. Why would I sell my soul for someone else?”

“You get technology, not good for you. But you study technology. You learn technology. You adapt for you and other J’avo, da? Help kill demon scum and get you many of the power, da? Good advice not of cheap. 3’000 rubles.”

“I submit. I submit. How do you want to take by soul?”

“Ah of smart man. See boss, I told you “This one will take the rubles, not of settle on diet sausage or Cossack vodka like other ones. This one of vision, is of smarts””.

“That you of did S.T.A.L.K.E.R. I of said “You stay with me kid, you get of brains. Become of great S.T.A.L.K.E.R like I.” Pass of stone of cobble please.”

The subordinate enthusiastically swept away the ashes that now covered the floor and placed his rucksack down with a heavy thump. Reaching deep inside, he retrieved what looked like a large, cracked lump of concrete.

“Etch name onto of stone, please. Not need be your true name, or birth name. Just one that is used most common.”

Argh’lamor leaned down and took the lump of rock in the palm of his hand. With slight hesitation, he slowly carved his name into the rock with his ragged, but razor-sharp claws. He paused with the rock in his hand and stared at the pair from the corner of his eyes.

“So…what do I get for 3’000 rubles?”

“S.T.A.L.K.E.R, show of him prize of his.”

“Da, boss.”

>>54256410
Reaching back into their backpack, the subordinate retrieved a helmet and gas mask that was much more advanced than what either of the pair were wearing.

This was put to one side and they brought out an old field radio as well. The subordinate placed these gifts before the feet of Argh’lamor and stood back into his original position.

“You of have doubt of worth in your eyes, da? I of explain. S.T.A.L.K.E.Rs wallets are of abysses of nothingness, because we of invest. I not have of 3’000 rubles in of cash, but in items that are of presented to you.”

“Helmet is of most useful. Contains the optics of far-seeing and un-illusioning. You no be tricked whilst wear of optics. Respirator is of make any air breathable. Most useful when somewhere not supposed to be, da? Armour is of strong and is most advance. Stop of bullet from mighty kalash at kissing range and only dent. No puny weapon of savages or peasants hurt of you when wear.”

“You see of box, is for of talking to other boxes of many miles away. You may of ask “Why I need talking box, when I have of the magics”. That is most excellent question. Enemies of yours also haves the magics, but no have talking box. See talking box and say “What is of this box which of laughs at me and calls me cyka”; but is of you laughing as they cannot tamper the box. Conversations become the most private, of sneaky.”

“Is of good trade, da?”

Argh’lamor let out a grumble of agreement and handed the stone back to the leader.

“I…suppose a mortal…such as yourself cannot cause…any will danger to me with my soul. It is…a deal.”

“Most excellent. You may of go now, we have other business to conduct.”

“What “other business”?”

“You of watch, you of learn J’avo.”

>>54256458
The leader placed the rock down on the floor in front of them and let their hands drift down to his side.

The subordinate pulled a stringed instrument that was unknown to Argh’lamor and took sat down before the leader with the rock in between them.

The subordinate then began to play a simple, but fast paced song whilst he began to chant in a strange, rough language. The leader began to join in the singing and as the music got faster and pitch got higher the rock began to glow blue.

Soon the rock began to hover into the air and powerful waves of burning blue energy began to pulse from the stone.

With each pulse, the dead bodies snapped back into the positions they had been in just before the point of death, before returning to charred skeletons on the next flash.

The pulses started flashing faster and faster, the rock flew higher and higher and the music had reached its crescendo.

With no warning, everything stopped. The rock, now a quarter of its original size and glowing with a serene blue light lay hovering a few feet from the ground.

The leader opened a slot in their uniform and removed a duller, whiter stone and handed it to their subordinate. Whilst the leader was inserting the blue stone into the empty slot, the subordinate did the same with a similar slot in their armour; except the stone they removed was even duller than the white stone and was yellow in colour.

Chucking the yellow stone, seemingly without thought, it landed on the corpse of the paladin. Argh’lamor looked on in shock as the seared flesh of the paladin slowly began to flow and stitch back together. Within a few minutes, what was once a charred, unrecognisable husk became the healthy, but unconscious, form of a young man in gleaming armour.

>>54256496

“What…what trickery is this!? Such a thing should not be possible!”

“Is of artefact. Gift of the Zone.”

“Oh…that reminds me. I of sold your soul to the Zone for that artefact. You of belong to it now.”

“Da, you of be good or Zone of take you. Da svidahnia”

With a swift kick of their boot, the subordinate broke the circle and banished Argh’lamor back to the pits from whence he came.

“What should we of do with him, S.T.A.L.K.E.R?”

“Of leave him be. He wake up of confused, notice shiny “magic” rock of “divinity” and of use it to bring of cyka back, have of many children. He of happy, we of happy. No rubles lost on cleaning tools.”

“Da, is of good idea.”

“Of course is of good idea S.T.A.L.K.E.R, I is of think of it. Old S.T.A.L.K.E.Rs always have of best of ideas, is why we of old.”

“Da, of course,”

“Come, we must of leave. Favour of Zone last only so long”

And with that they, like many S.T.A.L.K.E.Rs before them, left Faerûn a more bewildered and fearful place.

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So before I write any more stories, is anyone reading this?

And if you are, should I have the S.T.A.L.K.E.Rs speak in less broken English?

Dude, keep on doing this! I myself am not a larper, but i've really wanted to DM a warhammer 40k Faerun crossover game.

>>54256552
I love this shit. The broken English is fine, and you should keep with it.