ITT: Completely useless magical/enchanted items. Need to fuck

Does the sword come with a bag of small blue gems that let it operate normally for a short while when put into a slot in the hilt, but cause the sword to break if it's used for more than 4 hours?

>>54241918
> the incooperative spear
It will bend away from anything you try to stab it with.
> ring of invisibility & intangibility
There is no ring. Works for any object, really, but small ones are probably better.

>>54242000
This is the kind of quality content I've come to expect from you, /tg/

>boots of hell
always very moist inside no matter the weather or care
>simulation arrows
explode into a ball of illusory fire upon hitting their target
>colossal cape
normal-sized on its own, but when put on it grows to be too large for the wearer, just uncomfortably so

A pen which only writes when you scribble it in the corner of the page to get the ink out.

>>54241918
>an iron cooking pot that causes everything cooked in it, no matter how briefly, to taste terribly burnt
>a excellent shield otherwise, but it leaves dozens of splinters in your arm after being used. Armor does not stop the splinters.
>armor that always feels as if something was crawling around inside with you, sometimes it has too many legs and other times it's slimy and foul
>a backpack that makes everything in it stink like months of being pissed on by cats
>dice that always roll off the table and into hard to reach places
>a bookmark that always ends up a few pages off, often putting the reader right at important spoilers
>a hat that always clashes with whatever else you're wearing

>>54242496
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

>>54241918
>ITT: Completely useless magical/enchanted items.
Eh, I prefer partially-useless items.

Still:
Trap book. A book which magically rewrites its pages to always be relevant to what the reader is searching for, but never the exact thing they wanted to know. A table of contents and index are provided, and are ambiguous to the point of indecipherablity. Reading the book will never be productive, but will give the reader the impression they've almost gotten to the part they wanted to read.

I have spent way too long reading worthless datasheets today.

>>54242000

OP here, is this a reference or something? If so, I don't get it.

But no. Looks and acts like a normal sword but goes floppy once it's completely drawn. Straightens up again when you try to put it back in.

>>54241918
>a sword whose blade goes limp and soft as soon as it's drawn
I did this one once. Except it just started screaming in terror when drawn, then gasped in horror and went limp and soft after they killed someone with it.

>>54242973
Viagra you dolt

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>>54242496

>>54241918

That mirror would be fantastically trolly for castle defense.

>There's a bend in the corridor up ahead.
>[spot checks]
>A mirror has been mounted on the wall to allow line-of-sight around the corner. The next hallway is empty.
>"Oh, then we'll just walk around the corner."
>[surprise round]

>>54242134

>incooperative spear
I could definitely use this
>ring of invisibility & intangibility
Eh, a little too useless. I'd like them to be able to see it and think it might be good for something.

>>54242379

>boots of hell
Love it
>simulation arrows
Could still be used for shock and awe purposes, could definitely scare some people with it. But how about arrows that lose all momentum as soon as they touch something? As in they pierce nothing, they seem to hit it, stop dead, and drop.
>colossal cape
Fucking love this one

>>54242496

This is gold. I will absolutely use this.

>>54242740

Ehh, most of these are more in the realm of "mildly cursed" rather than just totally useless, but I think I can make a few of them work.
>dice that always land cocked
>bookmark that always slips out
I like the hat one too. The rest I'll do some thinking on.

>>54242883

A little more complex than what I'm going for, but I do really like the idea. I'll probably end up using this.

>>54243010

Ah... well, you could have been a lot more of an asshole about that, and I thank you for not being so. It's been a long day.

This is great, anons. Keep it coming.

>>54241918
>>a looking glass that doesn't reflect people or animals, just shows an empty room
That could be useful, anyone who it reflects is a monster or something weird. Like reverse vampire detector!

>>54243427
>Like reverse vampire detector!
Regular mirrors reflect normal people, but not vampires.
Magical mirrors reflect vampires, but not regular people.
What happens if you put a magic mirror and a regular mirror on opposite walls of a hallway?

A cup that immediately falls over if you put it on a coaster

>>54243629
>Wake up, with a pretty large concussion
>That awkward moment where everyone but you reflects on them
>However nobody told you which one is which
>they're just mirrors that reflect everyone but you and then only you.
>Except someone is an actual vampire
>Most popular reality show in wizard sphere.

>>54243629
they both show a different Pink Floyd album cover

>>54241918
Bagpipes of invisibility. Works only while played.

A sword with four gems set into its pommel.

Holding the sword and speaking the word "honor" causes the first gem to light up, and the sword to begin vibrating slightly. If no action is taken, the gem's light will go out and the vibration will cease after one minute.

Speaking the word "duty" while the first gem is lit causes the second gem to light up, and the sword's vibrations to increase. The words must be spoken in order, and saying anything other than "duty" second will prematurely dull the first gem, forcing the wielder to start over.

Speaking the word "faith" while the first two gems are lit causes the third gem to light up, and the sword to begin audibly humming. As with the second word/gem, this one must be done in order.

There is no fourth word.

The sword was used by a sect of paladins as a training device. Initiates were given these swords and told that Honor, Duty, and Faith were needed to wield the weapons. Most initiates quickly discover the sword's property, and would invariably try to figure out the fourth word; eventually, they would learn that those three alone are all one needs, just as a nonmagical sword is sufficient to defend the weak and protect the helpless.

>>54243781
Time to spook an old castle in the Highlands.

I have a few things:

>The Almost-Dead Phone of Bullshit
This is a magical cellphone that always has full battery, unless you actually need it, in which case it'll always be at 5% and no amount of charging will help, until it's no longer needed.

>Pants of Eternal Piss Driblets
Wonderful, snazzy looking pants. Every time you leave the washroom, you'll have visible piss driblets on your crotch.

>Rhyming Meat of Liquid Death
It looks delicious, smells fantastic, and tastes... almost perfect. Once ingested, you now need to speak in rhyme for a duration of time proportionate to the amount of meat eaten, and if you fail to rhyme, you're immediately immobilized in the bathroom.

>The Hell-Couch
An ordinary, comfortable couch. Perhaps it's too comfortable. If you sit on this couch for too long, at first it steals some change from your pockets, then it makes you lazy and lethargic. Finally, the couch provides you with the world's most comfortable blanket before it wraps you up like a spider, and sucks you inside like a sarlac pit. It has a fatal weakness to powder doughnuts, caramel, and "snail trails" from sitting in the nude.

>>54241918

A harp that is never quite in tune.

A rope that keeps coming untied.

A pair of boots: when you try to walk in them, you feel a very small rock in one of them.

A container with a strange greasy unguent. Anyone who touches it leaves greasy black fingerprints on whatever they touch for the next 24 hours. It can't be wiped off, and trying usually ends with both your hands being affected. Clothes soiled this way can't be cleaned except via magic... after the 24 hours is up. Having this crap on your hands is unpleasant enough that the character must save to avoid compulsively trying to wipe it off.

Alchemist's bathroom tissue: non magical. Toilet paper, but made from poison ivy.

>>54243788
Not OP, but I really like this idea.

>>54243792
While it kinda kills the whole "completely useless" thing OP was going for I love the idea of five or so score of warriors playing these pipes and walking their way up to an enemy fortress. As the fortress guards scramble about the top of the walls trying to find the source of all the music it suddenly stops and before them stands an army of warriors now reaching for their weapons.

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>>54241918
The party comes across a bank, either they are robbing it or it has been robbed.

Among the typical treasure in the vaults are the security lock boxes. Make sure that there are only diamonds, jewels, gold etc in the lock boxes. Every one has something precious and sell-able.

Except one. One has a slip of paper with a recipe for deviled eggs.

The recipe calls for some fairly rare components. Eggs from the hens of a farmstead not far from where the players are, but far beyond the city. Paprika from a far away country and a special dill from a war-torn nation run only by warlords and bands of raiders.

Once the ingredients are collected, the actual cooking of the eggs is not an easy task either. And the yolks require a very delicate whipping with mustard that has been ground, creamed and made into a paste that very same day.

These eggs, when completed, are pungent and powerful. The first adventurer to eat them is almost overwhelmed with the think aroma and delicate flavors.

They. Are. Exquisite.

They also cause anybody who eats them to roll disadvantage on stealth rolls for 48 hours.

There are no other mechanical effects.

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>>54243009
>intelligent weapon that is constantly terrified and horrified by the idea of killing

beautiful

>>54241918
Waterproof cloak.

It is an absolutely wateproof cloak. Even if the wearer falls in water it still stays completely dry. This effect is achieved by cloak through to the fact that it is completely permeable to any and all liquids. During most horrible rain it will stay dry but its wearer will be wet from head to toe.

>>54241918
>Bag of Losing
A bag of holding that works as normal except the item you're looking for is always the 4th item you pull out of it.

>>54241918
>Basilisk Eye Ichor
Upon further inspection, this is snake oil. You've been had.

>>54241918
>Ring of Sharp Memory
A while after putting it on, the wearer gets nagging feeling that they're forgetting something important.
>Ring of Southerner
The wearer begins every sentence with "I'm not racist, but" without realizing that they're doing it.
>Thunder Glove
When the palm of the wearer is slammed against a surface, emits a loud boom that sounds like a thunderclap. Will most likely disorient the wearer because of how loud it is.

>>54244362
What happens if I'm not looking for anything in particular?
What happens if I change my mind about what I'm looking for after pulling out 1-3 items?
What happens if I pull out three items and then wait for anywhere from seconds to years before pulling out the fourth one?

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>>54244732
>Thunder Glove
Makes the user thunderstruck

>>54244766
>What happens if I'm not looking for anything in particular?
You empty it.
>What happens if I change my mind about what I'm looking for after pulling out 1-3 items?
Resets
>What happens if I pull out three items and then wait for anywhere from seconds to years before pulling out the fourth one?
Then it's the next thing that's pulled out, as long as the other items are not replaced and nothing else is pulled out of the bag.

>>54244314
This is actually good, though. As in, it's a legitimately very nice cloak, given you wear it like a cloak and not a cape. I can see myself using it to wrap up a spellbook or very important document, too, just in case.

>>54241918
a ring that lets you wear an extra ring

>>54244840
What's the point in wrapping anything with it? It will be dry but your document and spellbook will be wet. This cloak protects only itself from water not everything else. At best you can say that you will always a piece of dry bedding. Problem is you can't use it on a wet surface because while cloak will be dry you still get wet.

>>54244928
It would work as a shock absorber, though.

>>54244928
Put it right above where you sleep and make a small tent with it. As for wrapping, get some string and tie it really tightly. Extra points for using some sort of sealant or adhesive on the cloak itself (as long as it's relatively dry, so it'll actually hold)

Helmet of hindsight- this helmet says annoying things to the wearer like "shouldn't have done that" and "big mistake" but only after the wearer has made a crucial error.

>>54244991
It is permeable to water. If you make a tent it will just rain directly on you through cloak.

>>54244362
>>54244815
If I want more than one item do I have to take out three others in between each desired item or just three to begin with?
What happens if there are fewer than four items in the bag and I try to take one out?
What happens if I want to take out all the items that are in the bag at the same time?

>>54245141
But not if you seal it with something to keep the water out.
Great idea.

A skintight bodysuit that, with the magic word, creates a water-repelling force field a feet around it. Thing is, it works inside too.

>>54245362
So why not use any cheap cloth for your makeshift tarp?
But since the cloth doesn't catch waterweight, it's actually decent in environments where you will be soaking wet no matter what.

>>54244314
That would actually be useful. Not as a cloak, but as a water filter. Fold it a gajillion times, and just pour the water through it in order to filter it. You could also use it in the summer when you want your clothing to breathe and wick away sweat.

>>54245362
Or you could just use some oilcloth or practically any other form of fabric since you apparently happen to have something to seal fabric with. It's still dumb.

A cot or maybe warm weather clothing could be a good use for it though since it sounds like this basically amounts to a porous mesh. Maybe swag out your kit or armor lining using the stuff.

Ring of visual charisma
Once you wear it you become more attractive visually but makes you act rude in dialogues and pc interaction.

>>54241918
>A mirror that requires a will save, or the holder grows suspicious.
This one WILL fuck up the more paranoid in your playgroup. Use with caution.
>A collar that causes the wearer to feel fingertips stroking along their neck and back.
Created for a wizard tired of petting his cat.
>Silent Bagpipes
>A small cork plate on legs with the instinct to scurry beneath any waiting hand.
Essentially, an animated coaster, eager to fulfill its functions, but far too distractible to do anything effective.
>A container of lesser spoilage
Easily sealed, but anything inside it goes slightly bad after an hour. The pork looks slimy, the cheese smells moldy, the bread got slightly stale inside, the sauce separated and its fat congealed, etc. It's not bad enough to make you suffer, just a bit off. Food inside still spoils at the usual rate afterwards.

Disobedient Drake
Summon a teenage Dragon. Commands will work 45% of the time. 5% chance of Dragon attacking you instead.

>>54241918
Glasses that show the wearer "people as they truly are", rendering the good as angelic and bad people as vile demonic creatures.

Upon wearing them, the wearer sees their own reflection and almost everyone around them as the most vile creatures one could imagine, thematically appropriate to the person they're looking at's sins.

The glasses do exactly what they say, but were build a couple of hundred years ago and reflect the values of that time. They are also kind of over-sensitive. So things like having unkempt hair or showing a bit of ankle will cause a person to appear as an unspeakable horror.

>a sword whose blade goes limp and soft as soon as it's drawn

This hit too close to home...

>>54243227
On the other hand, once the players realise what the mirror does, have the next time they use it see a room they can't see in reality.
Turns out wall mimics don't show up in the mirror and they can see beyond it.

>Bin of ultimate destruction
It is a bin that so totally destroys any solid matter you throw into it, that it never existed.

Emergently speaking, all matter that exists is matter that will never under any circumstances enter the bin, and therefore the bin appears to be protected by fate to prevent anything ever getting in it. Any attempt to throw or drop something in will be knocked out of the way by a stiff breeze or the bin falling over. Those who try and climb in suffer a stroke immediately upon starting the attempt. All because of the Anthropic Principle, namely that we exist in the world where nothing entered the bin because it is the only world that can still exist.

>>54245371
That's more of a curse seeing as it would kill the user.

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I put a Spear of Divine Might/Right in my games.
It cannot be touched by evil. Once of my players held it up to the evil half orc in the party. It was repealed like a magnet, and he still wondered why he couldn't hit any evil creature with it.

A set of cookware that is enchanted to always produce acceptable food, no matter the skill of the cook or quality of the ingredients (as long as they're edible to begin with).

The food can never be any better than "meh" quality, even if the best chef in the world is cooking, slowly causing damage to morale the longer it's used.

>An enchanted set of clothes made to look like a master crafted suit of plate armor.
>A magical ring that shrinks just tightly enough to cut off blood flow. Detects as very powerful.
>A bag of holding where any item you put into is impossible to retrieve when you actually require it.
>A pair of boots that make a high pitched comical shrieking voice instead of footsteps when the wearer makes an attempt to move quietly.

>>54247926
Give it to a strong/heavy enough person and it can act like a force-field, at the very least could be made into a useful alarm with some bells.

>>54241918
Sharp Gems
Magically imbued gems that have a chance of cutting through whatever is holding them, be it bag, pack it crate. They might even cut themselves on them if you want, but I like more of a timebomb approach.

A necklace with a figure of a small, wooden knight on horseback. It makes the wearer more courageous. It can also detect evil at a great distance, and does so by becoming animated, breaking free of its bindings and charging at a surprisingly fast pace toward the source, all while loudly shouting unintelligible swears.

An axe that is capable of chopping into nearly any substance, be it flesh, wood, or stone. However, it can never cut THROUGH anything completely, even a hair, and instead, gets impossibly stuck for 48 hours.

Glasses that smell mildly of sulfur. When you wear them, nothing special happens. But when you take them off, you're looking straight into hell. You cannot see the normal plane you're at anymore. You can only see into hell. If you want to see where you are, you gotta keep wearing those glasses.

>An unbreakable shield. It's unbreakable because it transfers all the force of any attack blocked to the wearer's arm.

>A sword only capable of cutting skin deep. It's a shame too, because it looks really menacing and impressive.

>A helmet that when worn makes any woman repulsed by the character and any man consider him his inferior.

>>54247909
No, it would just repel itself away from the water in the user's body, making it stretch out in al directions.

Essentially, a wizard tried to invent a method to stay dry and instead made a magical fat suit.

an instrument that can only be heard by and calls insects, squirrels or some some small animal. a harp that calls all spiders around. a conch that calls all snails around?

a crate, bag or chest that can be filled with content and will hold it until it's moved at which point the content slips trough and under it.

a deck of cards that can't be shuffled

a radiant block of super dense material, it's warm and emits a faint light. 1x2 inches weighs 60 lbs. this might be super useful depending on your party.

>>54241918
>Ring of Paranoia
Renders the wearer Invisible, but only to those looking directly at them. The wearer still appears in onlookers' peripheral vision.

>Constable's Arming Sword
A run-of-the-mill looking sword that only deals blunt damage with the flat of the blade. Damage is never lethal.

>Axe of Throwing
A hand-axe that, when thrown, will instead launch the wielder 1d4+1 yards ahead.

>Griswald's Knot
A 50' length of rope that remains in a perpetual balled mess. Unravelling the knot takes 1d6 minutes, at the end of which, the rope remains stuck. Further attempts take 1d6 minutes, +1 for each additional attempt.
The rope cannot be cut.

>Brooch of Water Breathing
Cursed item. When worn, the wearer's lungs partly fill with sea water. Not enough to kill the wearer, but leaving them incapable of most action as they gasp and cough up water.

>>54248408
Ah, truly a useless magical item. Bravo.

>>54248624
>turn that into Hammer of Throwing and you got yourself Mjolnir.

>>54248781
Meant to say the Axe stays put.

>>54243382
I remember a few from when /tg was new.
Bag of Chewing. Actually a larval Mimic; it's like a bag of holding, but it's got teeth on the inside and will chew the hell out of anything placed therein.

Longsword of Fragging. Against anyone or anything the bearer identifies as a foe it's a Merciful Longsword - it twists and warps in the user's hand, and won't allow them to land a killing strike. Against friends, family members, employees, colleagues, cohorts and followers it's a Keen Vorpal Longsword.

Crystal Crown Of Boundless Intelligence. Appears to be a crystal circlet when not worn, after being worn for 24 hours it will start to grow thorn-like structures in every direction, and double the wearer's intelligence. The limit to how often this can occur depends on how many days it takes for the crystal thorns that are growing inward to cause fatal brain damage (four days for a human). After two days the crown must be surgically removed from a human - it is too deeply rooted in the skull to simply be pulled off.

>>54241918
>The ring of chaos
+3 to spellcasting accuracy, but if it was the reason you landed your spell, it explodes for 1D20 damage

Boots of blinding speed

>>54248989
Scroll of Icarian Flight

>>54248945
>Longsword of Fragging. Against anyone or anything the bearer identifies as a foe it's a Merciful Longsword - it twists and warps in the user's hand, and won't allow them to land a killing strike. Against friends, family members, employees, colleagues, cohorts and followers it's a Keen Vorpal Longsword.
Perfect for settling disputes between party members.

>>54241918
>looks through spyglass for fun.
>sees empty room
>suddenly something moves, dead body appears in the center of room, with each type of flesh separated perfectly.
>inhuman eye fills your view.

> Staff of magic override.
This staff neutralize all magic effects in a radius of 20 metres, the problem is it's also neutralizing its own ability so it's basically just a staff.

> Potion of seduction
If a man drink this potion he become suddenly really attractive to women but he is also totally impotent.

> gloves of transmutation
Can turn gold or silver into lead

>>54241918
>spyglass that fogs up as soon as you put it to your eye
You mean, free condensed water as long as I can raise and put it down? I'll take ten.

>>54249257
Sounds way better and fuckier than foggy glasses

>>54241918
How about a sword of reflection ?
All wound's you should have inflicted on your enemy are inflicted onto yourself too, once you let go of the blade.

In case you use a HP system i would suggest that the player recives the 50% of total damage inflicted.

Bonus points: make the sword pretty good and have your player bite his own ass over deciding if he uses it or not.

Bonus Bonus points. The sword is not cursed, it's a blessed weapon of a good of law which shall teach it's user the gravity of ones own actions.

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>>54249516

>>54249266
>Potion of seduction

Literal rick and morty

>>54249663
Sorry, I don't go to Tumblr

A book whose words only show what you are thinking.

A candle that inmediately puts itself out when lit.

A "never-ending rope" which is actually just braided into a circle.

Decaf coffee.

>>54248115
That axe is the worlds greatest piton. Stick it upside down into any surface, and tie a rope to it.

>>54250299
What is the point when it gets impossibly stuck?

>Cantankerous Knick Knack
A small, miscellaneous item (could be anything at the GM's discretion). The Knick Knack's owner can't bear to part with it and no matter the intent, the Knick Knack will always be the first item the owner retrieves from their knapsack.

>Rod of Immolation
When the wielder holds the Rod aloft and utters the command word, the rod and everything in a 5 foot radius explodes.

>>54250453
The rod of immolation looks like the perfect suicide weapon.

>>54249954
>A book whose words only show what you are thinking.
with some slight tweaking this could be really trolly
>book of memory
a book with all the memories of it's wearer written down , things that are forgotten disappear from the book

>>54250564
Oh man, then it becomes tragic as the old mana book gets emptier and emptier until one day it is blank...

30+ yo and still shitty humour here, sorry
>Ring of precious excretion
You feel sick immediately after putting the ring on. After a little while you barf a small quantity of semi-precious material randomly chosen in a prepared table. Silk, nacre, gems, whatever your world considers semi-precious. The quantity depends on the time you fought back the sickness. You feel sick for a few hours after.

>>54250453
Rod explodes, you explode, your armor explodes, blades of grass explode, dust explodes, air explodes, rocks explode.
That friend that stands next to you? He explodes too.

One of my favorites from an 80's edition of Dragon Magazine (the April edition, obviously)

>Scroll of Feign Invisibility

Upon casting the spell from this scroll, a powerful illusion cloaks the caster, such that all creatures viewing him must make a saving throw vs. spells or else believe the caster is invisible, but that they are somehow able to see him nevertheless.

I created a list of items like these to hand out to my players. Some are more useful than others. The idea was to roll randomly to see which they get, hand it out for free, and if they bring it back with a story of how it can be useful, they get a reward for it. Some of the items are probably already mentioned here or well-known, but I'll copy-paste the whole list anyway.

>Scroll of the Ancient's Tongue
A scroll that instantly teaches its reader a long forgotten language. The scroll is written in that same language.

>Purse of the Novice Counterfeiter
When the owner places a Gold Coin within the purse, after 24 hours, it will produce 2d20 replica coins. These coins are obvious fakes to anyone except the owner.

>>54250872
Wand of Straight Scrying
Shows an image of any area that you have a direct line of sight to, as if you were there (Magnifying glass)
Spyglass of Fate
When you look into the spyglass, it will show you exactly where you will be if you walk in the direction you were pointing it
Ring of Limited Wish
Ring that grants access to Wish; only Wish that can be made is wishing for more Wishes
Amulet of Detect Thought
Able to tell if something is thinking. The stronger the thought, the stronger the detection. It was used to detect an invisible assailant.
Gauntlets of Teleporting
On command word, Gauntlets switch place. Unique in that the magic works even with one gauntlet, but one has to experiment to find out.
Wand of Disintegration
What it says on the tin
Key of Untold Relief
Any door opened with this key opens into a bathroom
Socks of Never Mismatch
One sock. When put on, another one that is exactly alike is created around your other foot, until either is taken off
Ring of Invisibility
When put on, the ring can not be seen
Pen of Neverending Story
Never runs out of ink
Perfect Toothbrush
Perfectly cleans and even restores scratches and tiny chips, even when not used on teeth
Wand of Perfect Teleport
User can pick any place, even not on this Plane. Wand is teleported to there
Foreign Pouch
Transforms all coins put in into the currency of the area you're in (of equal value)

A longsword that deals increased damaged to pigs BUT only when those pigs are in flight. Good luck finding a flying pig to justify using this longsword over others.

>>54250889
The formatting looks fucked, so let's try it with greentext
Ring of Doubt
>Is this thing really magic? It's subtle
Amulet of Inverse Telepathy
>Screams out your thoughts
Pepper Mace
>When it hits something, it turns into a cloud of pepper. Reforms (leaving the pepper behind) in 6 seconds. Anybody hit by it has a sneezing fit (Dazzled for one round, 1d4 rounds if it has the Scent ability)
Crossbow of Planet Slaying
>Arrows automatically redirect to the nearest planet-sized object. No Attack Roll needed.
Coin of the Hidden Path
>When flipped, always lands on its side
Amulet of Foreboding
>Plays a soundclip (pre-recorded, but can be changed) whenever the wearer's name is spoken. DUUU-DU-DU-DUN
Ring of Magic
>Allows the wearing of an additional Magic Ring
Wand of Create Wand
>1 Charge. Creates a single Wand of Create Wand
Rod of EverLight
>A tube with a revealable pebble that has a permanent Light cast on it (read: flashlight)
Fool's Gold
>A pouch filled to the brim with coins and jewels of all sorts of value. Taking them out reveals them to be generic rocks and leafs after 1d4 seconds.
Ring of First Impression
>Wearing the ring will make you able to perform a perfect handshake with the hand wearing it.
Wing coins
>When you flip them, they stop in the highest point of their arc and hover there, continuing to spin and emitting a humming noise that sets teeth on edge, until their command word is said, at which point they fall normally. Great for annoying the shit out of people when making bar bets.
Wing coins (cheating)
>Exactly as the Wing coins, except both of their sides display the same face (either heads or tails). Their command word is set to be whatever side is not displayed.

>>54250909
The single glove of clapping
>It's a single leather glove. When worn, a command word causes it to make a clapping noise.
Earmuffs of songs
>A special theme song plays for your character (out of no where) every time he does something interesting, but he can't hear it himself.
Tome of Uselessness
>Whenever this plain brown tome is opened, it closes (as the open/close spell).
Shield of Missile Attraction
>All arrows/ranged weapons aimed within 10" of you, will be attracted to you. You get a -5 on your AC against ranged weapons, and a -10 if it was aimed at you
Ring of Mutual Giveaway
>Allows the wearer to discern the location of any enemies hidden behind secret doors or walls. However, the only way to discover hidden foes is by knocking on every surface of the room to the tune of "Shave and a haircut" until the enemy is compelled to finish it (this is a mind-affecting effect).
Woolly Bulette
>This is a plush toy of a Bulette. It is very cute, and when squeezed, plays a few bars from an older song that everyone finds catchy, but no one quite knows the lyrics to.
Deck of Offense
>A seemingly normal deck of cards, except every non-number card has an image of the drawer's mother/father/girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband/sister/brother on it in a compromising position
The Red Armor
>Reduces your CON to 1 and has a slight mind-affecting effect to have enemies target you over others.
Character Sheet
>Will show the wielder all sorts of frighteningly accurate info about him/herself. However, some people do not have the abstract feature of being "chosen", and this may skew the results to be a bit less trustworthy. In addition, it is written in a font only the wielder can read. Others can only discern numerical values (and length of lists, etc).
Bagpipes of Stealth
>Grants the user invisibility as long as it is being played.

>>54245189
not the same guy but:
every 4th item is the one you want.
if there are fewer than 4 items then it is the last item.
You cannot. The bag simply does not open for you

>>54250930
Table of Serenity
>This is a fine table. It cannot be flipped, unless the flipper succeeds on a DC35 STR check. Better bring a Bag of Holding to carry it with you, though.
Diadem of Brothaurity
>When wearing this headpiece, you are as elegant and well-spoken as a famous diplomat or regent, but you can't stop calling everyone bro.
Murder Dagger
>All damage it would deal is instead replaced by the target being harassed by crows for that many minutes. http://www.d20pfsrd.com/bestiary/monster-listings/animals/birds/raven/ , Fluffed as Crows, gains the Swarm type
Monocle of Hunger Detection
>Invented by a wizard who loved to host social functions for use by the waiters he hired, the wearer of this monocle is able to discern how hungry a person is at a glance. The monocle works on all intelligent creatures, but doesn't provide any information about preferred diet or normal consumptive habits.
Wand of Scrying
>Locates whatever it is pointed at. Also has a weak Light spell, functioning like a laser-light. (GM NOTE: it also works on images!)
Mug of Dwarven bane
>Any alcoholic beverage placed into the cup instantly becomes alcohol-free and tastes of water.
Lodestone
>A pair of bluish pebbles that, if one is struck or rubbed, the other will resonate with a soft chime.
Bracers of Teleportation
>Upon speaking a command word, the bracers switch places. (Both must be worn to make use of this effect, but unlike other bracers, not by the same person!)
Transborder Snuffbox
>When taking a bit of the snuff, the user can speak any language he first tries to speak fluently, for the next hour. However, no other language can be spoken. There is enough snuff for three doses, refilling every day.
Vampire's Tooth
>A hollow tooth of some large beast, approximately 5" long. If jammed into another person, it will act as a pump, syphoning out their blood in a fountain of gore. More horrible to watch than to describe.

>>54242496

I have several of these.

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>>54241918
An amulet of Anime Speech, But animes have noting useful to say and it is always about food and sex.

>>54250946

Overgrowing Vine
>A vine that will grow to encompass the entire face of a building in a day then cease growing. It is covered in thorns. Adding vinegar will have it shrivel away back to the roots in a day, allowing for relocation.
Faraway Candles
>A set of candles that all light whenever one is lit, regardless of distance, and to extinguish them all have to be extinguished at the same time. There's three in a set, though more can be created/bought.
The Cloak of DEATH.
>This black velvet cloak has a skull clasp and a hood. When worn it presents the simple illusion of the character appearing to be that good old Grim Reaper, completely skeletal with faint pinpoints of lights in the eyes sockets. It also uses glamour to alter the voice of the character so it sounds like the hollow voice of doom that Death himself has.
Gloves of Transcience
>Gloves which let your hands pass through anything while they have them on. This also means your hands can't pick up or touch anything while they have the gloves on.

These items were the quest-reward
===Golden Set of Perfect Radiance===
Golden Crown of Perfect Radiance
>Hair turns golden and flow-y. Entire body radiates with a golden aura (can be turned off at will)
Golden Amulet of Perfect Radiance
>Two wings made out of pure light sprout from the wearer's back. For show only.
Golden Boots of Perfect Radiance
>Grass and flowers grow where the wearer walks
Golden Cape of Perfect Radiance
>This cape always flows as if in a slight/medium breeze

>>54250967
I figured Anime would talk about the power of friendship and how their Senpai doesn't notice them.

>>54250967
animal speech even. The Anime speech amulet is good for raws.

>>54251000
Fuck you Anon. Nice Dubs

>>54251032
>Dubs
You mean Trips

>>54248957
The ring is not destroyed, instead it is flash-welded onto the wearer's finger.

>>54249266
>>54249663
"I learned nothing...!"

While reading this thread, I kept picturing a crapsack world where every single tool and manufactured item is cursed in some annoying but minor way. Want to use that hammer? Ok, sure -2 dex for the rest of the day. Hope your thumbs are tough because you're going to miss a lot of those nails.

>>54250793
Yep.

>>54251330
Dang, I meant to add every item has both random disadvantage and advantages. So it is always tempting or good enough to use, but still it is also going to be unpleasant.

Like a +2 long sword is good and all, but it constantly screams in fear when in battle; everyone else assumes it is the wielder screaming.

A ladder that has a 1 in 6 chance of collapsing upon use as though it were made of spaghetti

>>54248634
T.Tom Preston

>>54248634
Actually nownit makes the world's best umbrella. Wear one that covers your head, it flies above you blocking rain.

>>54241918
Drum of beatboxing

If you listen really closely to this drum (Perception DC 20), you realize that the sound is actually that of a really talented beatboxer imitating the sound of a drum

>>54250564
When only one person reads the book, it just shows their thoughts. If someone else is looking over their shoulder or something, it inserts random plausible, but highly embarrassing, 'thoughts' among the genuine ones, usually giving the impression that the user's train of though is preoccupied with the cleric's ass.

>>54248634
>be captured by pirates
>have to walk the plank
>jump off with forward momentum and say the word
>the suit balloons around you and makes you skim across the water, letting you escape

>>54253521
Brutal, seems like an excellent in game item.

Ghost knife: the blade passes through all substances without causing an effect.

Ghost condom: it makes sex uncomfortable but does nothing to prevent fluids passing.

Sword of sameness: it can transform into anything the user wants, as long as that thing is a standard issue three foot bladed grey sword with a slightly too short handle.

>>54250727
>semi-precious material
>silk
Silk was perhaps the most valuable commodity that the east had to offer the roman state, atleast in terms of what the upper classes in the civil lifebwere willing to spend vast amounts of money on.
More than a millenia later a medieval swedish ballad mentions a silk shirt as one of the gifts, amongst extraordinary gifts such as a magical sword, and a number of gold and silver inlaid mills yo name a few, that a troll offers a knight in dowry.
To the non silk-manufactoring world the owning and wearing of silk was perhaps the most common marker for being affluent.

>>54245362

Seal it with what? Anything liquid is going to go right through it.

>>54250453
Tiamet akbar!

>>54241918
>>a looking glass that doesn't reflect people or animals, just shows an empty room
An interior designer would love to have this.

>>54242883
>Trap book. A book which magically rewrites its pages to always be relevant to what the reader is searching for, but never the exact thing they wanted to know. A table of contents and index are provided, and are ambiguous to the point of indecipherablity. Reading the book will never be productive, but will give the reader the impression they've almost gotten to the part they wanted to read.

Oh so it is any white wolf book from before 1996 and a far number of the ones after.

>>54251213
>the ring is not destroyed
interesting...
>instead it is flash welded onto the wearer's finger
better idea, it become bound to the finger, but can be removed by rolling 17 or higher with no bonuses, if you fail that, roll a D4 for the result
>1 means you lose your mana
>2 freezes you for 4 turns or until you roll a nat 20
>3 sets your armour class to 0 for the day
>4 deals 1D100 damage to everything in a 25ft radius

Had a few spells in my setting created by dick-ass academic wizards as a joke. They're stupid, but have unintended horrible side effects due to wizard nerds having no actual life experience and can't relate to normal people.

An example:

(Infinite) Regret - causes target to instantly remember all the ways they've fucked up. Stuns for 1 round. Repeated use can cause suicidal depression.

Immovable rod.

>>54244314
Turn it into a hammock. The Hammock will always be dry, and gravity will ensure that any moisture on you or that leaks through your top tarp (made of a normal material) only falls to the ground below.

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>>54242496

>>54241918
Magic broom:
Leaves a small dirt trail behind it when sweeping.

>>54241918
A human that's a liberal.

>>54248171
Fucking nightmare googles. They're an improvement.

>>54259115
>Ring of Infinite Regrets

You sir, you are a monster.
In a good way.

>>54241918
>Ball of slope detection
Put on tilted floor to detect direction of the slope
>Stick of firelight
Dipped in presumably esoteric oils and wrapped in suspicious cloths, this stick burns well and for a long time when the clothed part is set on fire
>Bag of holding
Any item put inside is nearly impossible to take out without using considerable physical strength and a long time of twisting and pulling. It's a bag of holding, not storing or letting go.
>Cap of ever-vigilance
Causes insomnia and OCD
>Blinking bookmark
When put into a book, it will randomly change place it's put in, sometimes shuffling the order of chapters for duration of its "stay".

>>54241918
>A wooden box containing a ring of invisibility that only makes the ring invisible and the box looks empty
>A belt that is always too big and when you try to stab a hole in it to fasten it, its suddenly too small
>A tiny horse the size of an adult dog, dragging a huge wagon that takes months to travel to different towns. Replacing the tiny horse will cause whatever creature used to replace to die in 1 hour and the tiny horse will walk up to you from out of nowhere.
>A map can show the geography of the whole world, but that version of the world is several millennia in the future
>A translation tome that automatically translates whatever the caster is saying into an insult to an individual's mother in their native language
>Binoculars that only show the person using the binoculars looking into them, like a mirror. Its actually viewing the user in another dimension who is using binoculars as well.
>Treasure map that leads the party on a long and arduous quest that leads to the location of another treasure map. An even more difficult quest follows and at the end they realize the treasure was the first treasure map they received.
>Stealth whistle that when blown attracts the attention of everyone within 25 meters to your general direction

>>54248624
That ring seems a bit like the necklaces the Doctor made from TARDiS keys so that people looked away from them and wouldn't notice them. Practically invisible

>>54250403
>piton. /ˈpiːtɒn; French pitɔ̃/ noun. 1. (mountaineering) a metal spike that may be driven into a crevice of rock or into ice and used to secure a rope

You want it stuck when you're climbing.

>>54262948
We all know what a piton is

He's talking about the fact that you would either have to leave it behind or wait hanging on a wall for 48 hours to retrieve it. If you didn't even have other pitons you wouldn't be able to climb any higher and it would be redundant because you would still need to depend on those other non-magical pitons to support you in order to use it.

Assuming you were only trying to go as high as you could throw the one axe, you could just use a grappling hook and not wait 48 hours.

>>54263353
You could also use it as an anchor for rappelling down a cliff or into a hole of the dungeon by sticking it into something outside, thus you have at least 48 hours to get in and out with a strong rope to leave on.

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>>54241918
A Deck of Many Things but only the first card that's pulled is a regular part of the deck, after it's pulled they all turn into regular playing cards.

Unless you pull a joker in which case the most expensive item in your inventory breaks.

>>54261619
Spell, not enchantment. There was an enchantment that the dick ass wizards made on a coworker's hat that caused it to produce 1-3 doves or 1 rabbit or 1 snake or 12 chicks every time it was turned upside down. One of the snakes turned out to be a pit viper and killed the guy, so they resurrected him and removed all memory of the hat or dying. They kept the hat because they figured that it was a cool enchantment and they were proud of their work.

>>54241918
>A bag of holding sand
It's a bag of holding with an infinite carrying capacity, but you can only put sand into it.
You can only withdraw a few grains at a time.

>Bear statue
Once activated, the bear statue becomes a slightly larger bear statue until deactivated.

>Boots of sloth
The wearer can activate the boots in combat to become slightly tired.

>cape of not too useful things
You can rip a piece of the cloak off to get an item that has no use what so ever in the current situation.

>ring of humor
The wearer has a better sense of humor.

>the not so resilient sphere
A small bead that can be thrown at a person that traps them inside a sphere that's basically a big bubble. If they don't pop it then it'll just pop next round.

>the door to the same place
A door that once opened leads the character out the same side they entered.


These are au fun to make

>>54263591
>a bag of holding sand

I had something like this in a game once. I played a rouge who would toss sand into people's eyes if the got too close in combat. His name was Dale.

Horn of Command Creature

This horn allows one to command any creature simply by blowing into it

the creature is only commanded while the horn is being blown. After the blowing ceases the creature will turn on you

I made a shop that sells misleading "magical" items, with one or two treasures hidden among them. Some of them may work for you.

>Wand of Magic Missile (no charges)
>Micro-Bag of Holding (holds contents equivalent to its size)
>Love Potion to be drunk by two people (1 dose)
>Ring of Binding (Wearer is unable to remove the ring)
>Cloak of Intangible Invisibility (Invisible, Intangible)
>Sphere of Levelling (Determines whether a surface is level when placed upon it)
>Ring of Immediate Fire (Casts Fireball centred on caster, 3 charges)
>Indeterminate Rock (It's a rock)
>Someone's Eye in a Jar (Eye of Vecna)
>"Ancient Gold Piece" (Fool's Gold Chip)
>Locksmith's Folly (Ring that locks a door/container when waved across it)
>Illusory Sword (Passes through objects and creatures)
>Wooden Key (Doesn't open anything)
>Bag of Fairy Dust (Causes sneezing when opened)
>Ring of Dispel Curse (Cursed, cannot be removed until dispelled, causes -1 modifier to all stats, 1 use)
>Unidentified Potion (Spoiled 2d4+2 Health Potion, causes boils and sores)
>The Immovable Shield (Unmovable)
>Sticky Boots (Can walk on walls and ceilings, but all movement speeds are reduced to 10 feet maximum, and it takes a DC13 STR to get them off or take 1d4 bludgeoning damage)
>Pacifist's Longbow(Deals 1d6 Radiant Damage, but -2 to hit)
>The Self-Writing Diary (It's already finished, and it's all about how it was in a dungeon for years)
>Helm of Discouragement (+1 to AC, occasionally tells wearer how they'll never succeed and that it's all a waste of time)
>Ring of Teleportation (Ring teleports to chosen destination)
>Juggler's Glove (Wearer can juggle anything they can lift, has proficiency in Performance while wearing it)
>Orb of Silence (Makes no sound upon impact with another object)
>Wand of Disintegration (Disintegrates upon use)
>Magic Longsword (Magical for the purpose of overcoming resistance)

>>54248178
>A sword only capable of cutting skin deep. It's a shame too, because it looks really menacing and impressive.

Really good for torture

>>54258350
tl;dr
All of this time spent making a post for irrelevant information. In most ttrpg settings silk is barely interesting if ever talked about.

>>54249516
>it's a blessed weapon of a good of law which shall teach it's user the gravity of ones own actions.
But what if the wielder uses it to smite evil creatures like demons?

>Amulet of the Emperor

Wearing this amulet causes any ordinary clothing worn by the user to become totally transparent. The effect does not extend to weapons, armour, equipment, or magical gear, only to ordinary clothing.

>Crown of Sithrak

This crown resembles nothing so much as a coil of barbed wire; when worn, it inflicts 1d4 damage on the wearer per day, and applies a -1 to all skill checks that require particular focus or concentration (DM's discretion). It can be removed at any time, inflicting an additional 1d4 damage as it's pulled off the head; however, the wearer must make a will save (d.c. 15, reroll daily) or else be convinced that they deserve the pain and that there's no point bothering to take it off.

>Smallpecs Blanket

This 70"x50" throw blanket applies a -2 strength penalty to anyone touching it. This penalty only applies so long as the person remains in physical contact with the blanket. It is quite comfortable and durable, but otherwise unexceptional.

>>54241918
>Mourning Star
A finely crafted and Intelligent Mace. The Mace itself is good natured but somewhat "standoff-ish".
Every night, the Mace will sing a somber ballad, lamenting it's existence and all the lives it's taken.

>Orb of Equilibrium
A four-inch diameter sphere of perfectly polished, volcanic glass. The Orb is quite heavy for it's size and will sometimes give the illusion of swirling "clouds" of purple and blue, just beneath it's reflective exterior.
When placed on a solid surface, the Orb will immediately roll away from any incline, until it finds a level plane. The more extreme the incline, the faster the Orb travels.

>The Mace of Tyrell

Wielding this mace gives the wielder a +2 bonus to Charisma, but inflicts a -10 penalty on all Bluff, Diplomacy, Gather Information, and Intimidate checks. It additionally applies a -5 penalty to all INT and WIS-related skill checks. The effect is invariably to cause the wielder to be viewed as a basically pleasant but dimwitted and ineffectual oaf. The effect continues as long as the wielder keeps the mace on his or her person, and lasts for one week after it is sold, lost, or discarded.

>Sword of Ed

This sword functions as a regular +1 magical weapon. However, whoever wields it is cursed to no longer be able to get aroused.


>Pot of Greed

This pot can store an infinite number of coins. However, the coins can't be retrieved unless the pot is destroyed.

>>54267130
>Sword of Ed
>This sword functions as a regular +1 magical weapon. However, whoever wields it is cursed to forever be referred to as "Ed" by everyone they meet.

> Scroll containing a spell to anger a god of your choosing

>>54241918
A suit of spectral armor.

>>54267958
>Sword of Ed
>This sword functions as a regular +1 magical weapon. However, whoever wields it is cursed to forever be referred to as "Ed" by everyone they meet or be thrown in jail for the murder of Ed, as theres no way you could wield the Sword of Ed if your name wasn't Ed.

>>54263628
Sh-sh-shaaa!

>>54241918
The Aerarium. A sealed glass box, magically full of air.

>>54244218
...holy mother of God...

>>54253649
and crushes you

>>54242496
D E V I L I S H

>>54264006
and breaking thick armor

>>54242496
Fun fact: ball point pens require friction to rotate the bearing and dispense ink. Often, if a pen stops writing, it is because either too much, or too little friction was applied. If the paper was indented by the bearing, then passing over it again will result in even LESS friction. When you scribble on an unused corner of the paper, the surface is capable of applying friction to the bearing, allowing it to properly rotate. When you go back to the groove, you again are not applying suitable friction to the bearing and ink will continue to not dispense.

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>>54242496

>>54261415
HAHA GOOD ONE XD I H8 LIBTARDS TOO HAHA

>>54250909
>Wand of Create Wand
>>1 Charge. Creates a single Wand of Create Wand

Is the original wand destroyed in the process?

>>54241918

One of my previous DMs used this:

>Ring of Spell Turning
When activated, says "Turning!" and spells out the word turning.

Great to have when it turns out the hookers you hired are magical assassins that you didn't even get to diddle.

>>54276754
I am now firewood Jesus.

>>54241918
Once heard of a guy who gave his players a magic rope. It's only mystical property was that it would immediately undo any knot tied with it. Drove the players insane.

>>54267130
>This pot can store an infinite number of coins. However, the coins can't be retrieved unless the pot is destroyed.

So basically, a Piggy Bank.

>>54276244
Fucking report and ignore you fuccboi.

>>54257079
>>54258350

Song about the troll and knight is called "herr mannelig" in my opinion best performed by the band garmarna

Always loved that song

>>54241918
A looking glass that shows what you looked like yesterday

>>54244391
brilliant!

A key that fits any lock but inflates once inserted to the point of no longer being able to turn.

>>54282656
Well, given that you can't pull it OUT either if that happens, it's a good way to quickly jam a lock if you're being chased or something.

My party once came across a Hydrophobic Boat. It was meant to levitate on water Discworld style, but because it was steel for some reason, not sealed and thus heavier than the water it just sank surrounded by a small dry area. We did manage to use it to imprison a political prisoner for a couple wee at the bottom of a lake, though. Just dropped him in on the boat with a box of sandwiches, a bucket and a thick blanket.

>>54282802
*Couple weeks.
We had to go stab some evil lackey and we didn't want him getting news out, but he was too important to just shoot and toss away.

>>54243841
That are just regular pants, anon

The Zig Zag In The Bag Bag
A teleporting bag that teleports itself and whoever climbs into it to a random location.
And when I say random, I mean it.
Could be out of orbit, 20000 leagues beneath the sea or into a mountain.

>>54250909
>Crossbow of Planet Slaying
Basically tank-armor-piercing crossbow bolts when shooting directly down at something.
Like shooting super-dense crossbow bolts they pretty much only fly down but when they do they would hit like a mofo.

>>54244362
What if I need any of items in the bag (i.e. I put 10 donuts in)

>>54248115
So, cutting halfway through a dragon is fine to me

>>54263958
>Ring of Binding
You could brand someone with it perhaps
>Locksmith's Folly
pretty damn useful lock shit everywhere;
running from someone? lock all doors behind you faster than a key can open them
>Illusory Sword
Cool for acting/theatre, impale someone in front of an audience
You could potentially use it to feign death along with some magical tomato sauce of wizardry as if you got gored.
>Bag of Fairy Dust
Naughty thief/trickster could use this to pull one off on someone, bundle some coins in there to make it sound/feel like gold sack then hand it as payment for something. Merchant opens to check-*sneeze*- by the time his eyes re-open the "buyer", goods and sack are gone.
>The Immovable Shield
Could you levitate on it if surrounding are removed from the shield?
If you could, can anything else be rested upon it? Like a house?

>>54283388
You'll have to descale and debone it first.

+1 Magic Boomerang that always comes back eventually.

Pants of falling: they fall down as soon as you pull them up.

>>54283762
>literally an idea in OP's post

>>54283565
>a boomerang that isn't exactly cursed but is enchanted to come back to the thrower so well that it is impossible to discard it or even put it away, it jumps back into your hand
>permanenly lose the use of a hand (until a wizard fixes it and unless what you want to do with it is "throw a shitty boomerang")
nice

Socks of sagging: no matter how hard you try these socks always go limp and slide down to sit bagily around your ankles.

>>54263958
>Juggler's Glove
pretty cool if you ask me

Cargo Pants of Holding: the mundane looking trousers are fitted with numerous pockets lining the legs. These pockets can hold a wide variety of items and a vast amount of weight. Upon further inspection, or a detect magic spell you realize these are regular cargo pants.

>>54284066
You forgot -2 to charisma

>>54263958
>Orb of Silence
Silenced bludgeoning tool, silenced projectile.

Siege machine using the orb provided it does not shatter/damage could potentially damage a fortification at night for long periods of time without being noticed if it were particularly low visibility in the area of operation.

Trapmaker could utilise orb as a drop trap, crushing someone to kingdom come with maybe a quiet squelch as body hits the floor.

>>54283126
Can't you just drop stones on your enemies for the same effect ?

>A bag of holding, except the pocket universe it contains has such high gravity that anything put into it will essentially turn into a ball, instantly.
This isn't exactly useless, creative players could pull some class A bullshit like making fire kindlings on the fly or musket bals.

>>54263958
>Locksmith's Folly
>Illusory Sword
>Ring of Teleportation
>Juggler's Glove
>Orb of Silence
>buy all of these and have your bard channel the clown from SS13
Just needs an annoying horn and he can become a prank GOD.

>>54284140
How would you get the shit back out though?

>>54250889
>Spyglass of Fate
>When you look into the spyglass, it will show you exactly where you will be if you walk in the direction you were pointing it
That sounds very useful. Just point it down a corridor, and if you see yourself at the end, you'll know there aren't any hidden pitfalls or teleportation traps in the way.

>Gauntlets of Teleporting
>On command word, Gauntlets switch place. Unique in that the magic works even with one gauntlet, but one has to experiment to find out.
What happens to the wearer's thumbs?

>Key of Untold Relief
>Any door opened with this key opens into a bathroom
Is it the same bathroom every time? Does it depend on which door you open? What happens to things left in the bathroom when you leave?

>>54250946
>Murder Dagger
>>All damage it would deal is instead replaced by the target being harassed by crows for that many minutes. http://www.d20pfsrd.com/bestiary/monster-listings/animals/birds/raven/ , Fluffed as Crows, gains the Swarm type
Stab a campfire. Then you won't have to worry about hunting for food.

>>54250968
>Faraway Candles
>>A set of candles that all light whenever one is lit, regardless of distance, and to extinguish them all have to be extinguished at the same time. There's three in a set, though more can be created/bought.
With the right fuel, they could light a large fire from a safe distance. They could even set off a bomb or a cannon.

>Golden Boots of Perfect Radiance
>>Grass and flowers grow where the wearer walks
These are the most useful and important of all. They will bring life back to the dead lands ravaged by ancient disaster.

>>54277255
I don't see the connection between those statements. Did you forget to quote someone?

>self-dulling blade
>shield that disappears as it's about to be hit
>empty book that you can't write in
>forever rolling die

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>>54284129
actually, maybe...
But the way I see it is that it's just a crossbow that causes it's bolt's to be extra-dense or act as if they are more massive and thus attracted by the force of gravity more. What that could accomplish is bolts fired downward would simply have more force.

>The Girdle of Bracing
It holds trousers up. You wouldn't think it was enchanted, but it makes magic detectors ding.

>The Ring of Elven Diplomacy
Makes the wearer an expert diplomat when speaking with elves. Elves do not exist in this setting.

>Gauntlets of Pygmy Giant Strength
When worn, bestows the strength of a pygmy giant. They're slightly shorter than normal humans, and roughly the same strength.

>Arrow of the Skies
When fired, it acts as if gravity were opposite. Since there is only one of them and there's no room to practise or discover this fact, the few archers to use it saw it harmlessly soar upwards and vanish.

>>54241918
An ornate but basically just ornamental and very heavy suit of plate armour that is a bit less effective than basic iron armour but is obviously incredibly valuable, but it is cursed so that merchants always dramatically undervalue it and only one merchant in all the land will pay the massive sum it's really worth. The player has to decide whether to ditch it at a huge loss or carry it for months, being unable to take on almost any other item of weight but in the hope he'll eventually make more than he ever could have anyway. There's no guarantee he'll find the merchant.

A sword that has a 75% chance of auto-killing anything but a 25% chance of making it temporarily invulnerable to any attack.

>>54288440
>When fired, it acts as if gravity were opposite.
So the arrow lands in the dirt when fired at an upward arc?

>>54288525
Do normal arrows fly into the sky when fired with a downward arc?

>>54241918
>Retreating dagger
A dagger that retreats into the hilt when you stab someone.

>Pacifists mace/sword...
Looks and feels like a real weapon until used against another being, upon contact it gets rubbery

>>54288689

Gravity works backwards, not force. Firing it in an upwards ark is fitting it directly towards gravity, sending it basically in a skyward ark

>>54288782
Meant for
>>54288525

>>54241918
>Vain spellbook
Allows only spells to be written with ink that contains the dust of a full diamont .
Don't even think about using the same ink twice cheapskate.

>>54263958
>>Love Potion to be drunk by two people (1 dose)
I want two people to take half a dose and it's now a potion of minor fondness.

>>54243788
The fourth gem is for when you fall, which is also the keyword.

The sword then automatically slips from your grasp and clatters uselessly to the ground.

>>54244314
Stretch it across a stream.

Instant fishing net.

>See treasure chest
>Look at it with looking glass
>if it shows up It's furniture, if it doesn't its alsove and probably a mimic

>>54247893
>Bin of ultimate destruction
I'm strapping that on to my chest!
Arrows deflect away from vital organs... hopefully not into face.

>>54247446
>A mirror that requires a will save, or the holder grows suspicious.
Love it.
>>54249266
>If a man drink this potion he become suddenly really attractive to women but he is also totally impotent.
That's actually really useful. Ignore the sex bit - you can totally wrap all females around your finger while it lasts. Get free drinks from the bar wench, discounts from the shopkeeper, favors from the queen... Who cares if you can't do the deed? They don't know that (and probably don't care either way, given that they'll be infatuated).

>>54288498
>A sword that has a 75% chance of auto-killing anything but a 25% chance of making it temporarily invulnerable to any attack.
Make it 40-60 in favour of invulnerability or this is just too good.

Ring Of Humor
>When a nearby creature makes a joke or performs an action that was intended to be humorous, a loud voice intones JOKE DETECTED

File: PotofGreed-TF04-JP-VG.jpg (60KB, 544x544px) Image search: [Google]

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>>54267130
>Pot of Greed
A pot with a slot at the top and a chute out the side. Inserting a coin into the slot makes two duplicate coins come out the chute. However, you can only insert one coin at a time and must explain how the item functions every time you insert a coin.

>>54290828
Hey dude, on the brightside, you just earned a coin.

File: funny magic items.pdf (69KB, 1x1px) Image search: [Google]

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I got ya

>>54244314
Make a cloak with a normal waxed wool outer layer and this one on the inside. Boom, the outer clok gets you away from most water, but gets moist, but since the lower one can't get wet, you won't feel any of this.

Also, perfect material for combat garnments. Keeps you warm, but all your sweat is just going to evaporate away as if you were naked. Sounds like an awesome cloak to me.

OP here, even though I haven't posted in a bit just letting you guys know I'm still here. Putting together a list of all my favorites I'll post later on.

Using just about all of these in a world I'm building should be fun

>>54243788
What about willpower?

Duty is something you need to do, but not everyone does it.

Anyone can lose faith.

Most people will do dishonorable things out of sight just for the benefits.

One who lacks willpower lacks the power to do anything at all.

>>54267130
I can do you one better:

Pot of Avarice:
As Pot of Greed, however coins placed in the pot transform into their equivalent value of the smallest widely accepted denomination of currency. Caution is advised when breaking, as the coins will spill out from the vessel with some degree of force and often in unexpectedly great numbers.

When shaken it will jingle temptingly, but upon smashing a small nonmagical bell can be found among the shards.

>>54249954
The book would be useful for figuring out what your party members are thinking...

All we have to do is convince it is a normal book while reading it from behind their backs.

>>54247817
Glad I'm not the only one.

File: Invisible-Boy-Mystery-Men-Kel-Mitchell-c.jpg (68KB, 500x608px) Image search: [Google]

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>>54241918
>a ring that turns its wearer invisible, but only when nobody is looking

>>54241918

>Longsword of Aeris
Makes loud whooshing and whistling sounds when swung as though it's cutting the air, but is terribly blunt and can't be sharpened.

>Ancient Quill of Endless Ink
A quill that never needs to be dipped in an inkwell, but only works when writing things down in a forgotten language

>Gloves of Frostbite
A pair of gloves that are highly resistant to heat in all forms and give +15 Cold resist, while also giving the wearer frostbite on their hands and killing their nerves, even if worn over other gloves.

>Skeleton Key
A key shaped like a human skeleton. Unlocks a legendary chest made of bone. Chest contains the rest of the skeleton from which the key was carved.

>Necklace of Repulsion
A plain string necklace that appears to individuals not wearing it as something that disgusts them in their own mind.

>a completely ordinary stapler... found in the home of a wizard in a mdeieval fantasy setting
Bonus points if the DM describes it vaguely and makes the players figure out what the hell it is

>>54241918
Don't know what fucking with your players is going to get you but whatever, if you want to find some cool minor magic items go check out the Menagerie Of Minor Magic book, there is a free PDF of it.

Not really "GOTCHA!" bullshit magic items but pretty neat none the less "low power" magic items.

Also stop being a dick to your players.T