Field Kit Inspection: Praetorian Peaks Edition

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>>54232518
>There would be a rather horrified look, to the young Captain's face, at the mentioning of the word "Praetoria"...

C-Commissar. D-did you just say... Praetoria?

>>54232518
*presenting what is obviously a fake plasma shotgun*
TECHHIE GAME ME SO CAN I KILL RATLING WHERE ON PREY TORI AH IS THE RATLING EMPRA TOLD ME GLAND

>My uniform would be exemplary, you would be able to see your own reflection on my boots
>My buttons, perfect, all in place.
>My rifle would be in excellent condition, no jams would ever grace this baby
>My frag grenades would be in the right place, along with the rest of my equipment
>I'd hold my back up straight. I looked more muscular, as if I had recently worked out. My eyes were as sharp as my bayonet which I recently honed.

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>>54232518
Private Adrian Uylesses here!

My equipment is doing alright. But I think someone stole all my morphine. That, or I used it all up yesterday...

>>54232518
Fun fact! Punching the generators while praying did in fact created enough power for a distress signal

>>54232594
DIDDI FIX THE THANG CAN I HUNY GLAND EMPRA TOLD

>having rested and doing simple, if involved work has revitalised the Techpriest
>robes changed into the white of the Machine Cult priesthood and mechadendrite freshly oiled
>...and currently on a short break, holding a dataslate and mug of recaf
Hmm.. hoping we can take a look at the gellar emitters while in orbit, but otherwise we're on schedule for repairs!
Not sure what Praetoria is like, might be interesting.

>>54232549
Indeed I did, Captain Wyvern. Is there a problem with that?

>>54232555
>The Commissar would simply nod his head, and the mish mash, of words that had just forced their way out, of the Ogyrn's dead raccoon, and rotten ketchup water, smelling breath. Entirely unsure as to what he had even said.

Uhm, yes... V-very good, trooper....

>>54232557
>The man would find the red lense of the Commissar's bionic eye looking him over. His eyes steadily looking over him, for anything out of place.

... Good work trooper. But your helmet is out of place by EXACTLY 1 inch to the left!

>>54232592
Well, you'll have to work without it then trooper! Use the good old "Mallet to the head" trick. Or, should a mallet not be in the area for some strange reason. Have them drink the pain away. That is also acceptable.

>>54232594
I never once doubted you!

>>54232518
Sergeant van Kleez, present - w-well, physically at least - and correct!
Just finished an inspection of the troop's medical supplies, and I must say I am v-very impressed with t-the quality, although the *cough* quantity leaves something to be desired. Well, it does now.
>he's swaying slightly as he stands

>>54232712
Praetoria. Ork's drift. The Praetorian guard are alright.

>>54232712
ANDSWERMTHE I THE PROPH ESEE WAS FORTALEZ. THE CROSSED WORD WAS GLAND AND THE GLAND SAID DUL AND GLAND WAS A RAT AND I WAS NOT SO WHERE I ASK IS GLAND RATLING

>>54232712
>On the outside, Matthias would look rather calm and collected, as usual.
>The inside however... Would be an entirely different story.
>On the inside, he could she a tiny version of himself in his mind's eye. Freaking the fuck out, like there was no tomorrow.
>A million different excuses would run through his mind, as he tries to figure out a way to avoid having to go Praetoria.
>The following video is but a taste of what is going on, inside his brain.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lXhU9zacjzw

>"This is bad! This is REALLY bad! She's going to find out we're here! She's going to show up!"
>"OH GOD-EMPEROR! MY PARENTS!"

>>54232773
You look like you're having cold, hard sweat sir. Are you alright?

>>54232518
Commissar I'd like to request leave for myself and several others when we arrive!
>she salutes

>>54232773
>She whispers
Pay up.

>>54232805
I-
>His voice would have been rather high pitched for a moment there.

*AHEM!"* -I'm fine, Private. Absolutely... F-fine... Nothing to worry about!

>"OH GOD-EMPEROR! THEY'RE NOTICING! ITS ALREADY FALLING APART!"

I just haven't slept well since yesterday Is all...

I'll go to keep them ruining

>>54232832
>He would whisper back to her.
"Your family, had nothing to do with us getting here... Therefore, YOU have to pay up! And I expect payment tonight.

>>54232838
A guardsman, no matter their rank, should get a good night's sleep to ensure 100% combat effectiveness.

>>54232549
PRAY TOR EEE AH IS WHERE GLAND MHUST BEH, YOU MUST ASSIST IN THE MURDER KILLIN OF GLAND RATLIJG FOR THE EMORA HAS TOLD ME TO AND EMPRA IS STRONK

>>54232832
>The Commissar, would be busy on the Vox. Unable to hear her, let alone answer her request.
>When he was done on the Vox. He would turn to the rest of the assembled regiment.

Gentlemen! There has been a slight change of plans. Instead of a suprise Field Kit Inspection. You are all to go, and get dressed in your parade arms. It seems we're having a rather special guest come aboard...

>>54232872
>Matthias would silently be praying to the Emperor.
"Please lord Emperor. I pray to you, that it isn't who I think it is...

>>54232872
PARADE ARMHS?
I ONLY HAVE MUH REGULAR ARMHS
WHEN DO I GET NEW ARMS
MY ARMS ARE STRONK AND BIG
WHAT IS A PARADA

>>54232872
Yes sir Commissar sir!
>I'd immediately rush to my quarters, unrolling my parade gear from my wardrobe.
>I'd brush it up, put some finishing touches before putting it on
>I would look fantastic
>I'd head back to where the commissar was, and I'd get in place

>a temple ship drops out of warp travel near Praetoria with a Canoness on the bridge
Good they arrived on schedule... We'll meet them on the surface. To the landing craft girls.
>she turns with a devilish smirk
Today will be fun.

>>54232853
Don't underestimate them...
>she stays at attention, making sure her gasmask is on tightly

>>54232872
It seems that we will be having the Commanding Officer, of the Praetorian XXXXIX Mechanised Infantry Regiment coming aboard for an inspection.

A man by the name of "General Garret 'The Spear' Wyvern"!

>>54232872
>parade arms
Ooh, the robes with higher thread count, I haven't worn those since.. er..
Well it wasn't even a month ago actually at my initiation! Strange how it seems longer.
I'll set the servitors to passive for now, if we're to have guests and shipyard crew around the.. impact site? The hull breach.

>>54232872
P-Parade arms? Shit, uh, gimme a second...
>he leaves, and returns shortly later wearing the same clothes
>however, this time they're actually clean
>his boots also appear to have been polished
Yeah, this *cough* is the best it's gonna get.

>>54232891
Just make sure you're buttons are polished, big man.
Do Ogryns even get dress uniforms? I figure they wouldn't bother, you can't exactly make an Ogryn presentable in any case.

>>54232941
>His body is calm, and collected, as he stands at attention.
>His mind however, is now officially broken. With all hope having faded from his body.
"We're doomed..."

>>54232971
>Kicks him to the front of the line up

>>54232955
HOW DO POLISH

>I'd wait in line with my uniform looking pristine
>I'd watch as the other guardsmen just continued to talk to eachother

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>>54232872
SCREEECH?

>>54233008
>he pulls a worn-looking rag from his coat and hands it to the Ogryn
Well trooper, ya rub it with this until the Commissar stops shouting at you. Then it's polished!

>>54232941
WHO ISS THAT DO I GETTA UNIFORMA
IS HE RATLING

>>54233051
...Maybe we should get you somewhere out of the way, if we're to be inspected.

>>54233053
OAK AY CAN DO
*furious rubbing intensifies*

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>>54232943
>>54232941
>>54232922
>>54232971
>It wouldn't take long, for the Eagle's Fury, to be towed into orbit around Praetoria.
>It would take even less time, for a shuttle to approach it, coming directly from the Hive world's surface.
>It would soon land inside the hanger that the regiment was currently gathered in for their Field Kit Inspection.
>A Thunderhawk off all things...
>After a few short minutes, a full squad of finely dressed Praetorians, wearing their trademark red uniforms and hats, would stride down the exit ramp. Followed a moment later, by a rather scarred looking, man with blonde hair, with streaks of grey thrown in. His lips formed into a small frown, as he examines the ranks of Imperial guardsmen around him.

>>54233073
SCREEECH?

>>54233084
ELLO THERE I RUBBED THE BUTTON WHO ARE YOU ARE WHERE IS RATLING FOR EMPRA

Rolled 8 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>54233090
>does some quick "make up work" on the trooper
Stay in the back

>>54233084
>My back would straighten as I planted my foot in the ground
>I'd salute the general, keeping my body firm

>>54233112
>She only has time to put on fake eyelashes on all of his eyes before the ramp drops and she needs to get back in line

>>54233112
SCREECH
>Nods

>>54232993
>Matthias had already been at the front of the line-up. As was required of him by his station.
>Her kick would only force him to move further out, before he quickly gets back into line, and glares angerly at her.

>>54233084
>Matthias would pray, that the General hadn't seen the incident just now. Nor would he take notice of the various xeno, and heretic infiltrators, that the regiment continued to allow.
>"Please don't let him see me. But more importantly Emperor... PLEASE DON'T LET HIM SEE THE HERESY!"

>>54233090
Look, just.. stay behind me, maybe I can bluff you're a Genetor experiment or something.
>Robe in priestly white, vacuum mask on from working on the breach, he's actually looking like a proper cogboy for once
>and it only took a noble to inspect the ship for him to clean up

>>54233145
>Nods
SCREECH
>Puts on a tie

>>54233084
>he stands in line, twitching slightly and trying to avoid looking at the newcomers

>>54233131
>panicked whispers
What the f-fuck is this guy doing here? This the galaxy's fanciest border force or somethin'?

>>54233099
>The man would keep his mouth shut, at the Abhuman's babbling. Having long ago learned to ignore them, lest they actually have something important to say.

>>54233127
>The General would spend no less than half a second upon the trooper, before carrying on.
>>54233136
>>54233112
>Thankfully, the General wouldn't notice the foul Chaos spawn at the far back of the company line-up. Almost as if he were more interested in finding something else....

>>54233141
>Eventually, he would take notice of the Third Company Commander, and would approach him.
>Before Matthias could even say a word to the man. His would speak up.

You and me... In private, Son....

>>54233186
>she whispers back
These guys live with a spear up their asses. pretty sure their born with it
They like their flashyness... and fuck... I'll go save him...

>>54233201
>Matthias would know better than to even aattempt to argue with a Superior Officer.
>Especially when said Officer was your own father...

Understood, General!
>He would begin to follow along the General. Leaving everyone else behind in the hanger.

>>54233201
*rubbing has intensified to the point that the button on his cuff has begun to glow red and the rag the ogryn was using is starting to smoke*
OI WHY U IGNORE MEH ITS NOT NOICE IF I RUB BUTTON ON YOU SHIRT YOU WANT CLEAN BUTTON LIKE MEH

>I'd walk in through the door, looking at the general
How disgusting. A General. The definition of Lions lead by Donkeys.
>I'd simply brush past him

>>54233234
>Once the two men had left the hanger, and the door had closed behind them. The soldiers the General had brought with him, would begin guarding the lone access route. Not allowing anyone to leave until the General had returned.

>>54233224

>This would include stubborn future spouses.

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>the priest quietly slips into line, trying not to draw any attention to himself, before whispering to whoever is stood next to him
I'm not late am I?

>>54233201
...
>Pawn let's out a sound resembling "whew"

>>54233274
Your name is gone

>>54233266
>It would be roughly half an hour, before the General, and Matthias returned. With Matthias heading back to his spot at the head of his Company, and the General walking towards the Commissar.
>A few moments would pass, as the General silently speaks with the Commissar, before both of them nod their heads, and the General begins to walk towards his shuttle, accompanied by his men.

>Another several moments, and the shuttle would leave the hanger. Matthias still standing at attention, silently. A rather disturbed look upon his face.

>>54233246
>she touches his shoulder, petting it gently
Shhh... He's so proud he's speechless. He has to go yell at dumdum over there... just calm down

>>54233266
... Well, that was a little anticlimactic.
>unhooking his vacuum mask, he looks around at the regular irregulars
So do we have to remain on parade until he comes back, or...?

>>54233269
A little bit? Some angry looking noble walked past, grabbed the captain and left.
Nice cape, though.

>>54233288
Dammit why do I keep forgetting it

>>54233308
Oh. So can we like, leave now? My feet hurt

>>54233266
*approaches the general and begins furiously and clumsily rubbing his buttons with the charred remains of an old rag*
ME GONNA GETS PRAHMOATED

>looking around the space marine shouts at the greater area

WHERE THE EMPRA DAMNED COMMISAR?

>>54233322
SCREEECH
>Goes to the lounge

>>54233305
Well, no one got head surgery performed with a bolter shell. Good ending, everyone.

Fuckin' regiment.
>I'd make my way back to my quarters, shutting my door after.

>>54233305
>After a few silent minutes of him simply standing in place. The man would let out a breath of air. Apparently having been holding it in, the entire time since he'd returned.

>>54233368
>having stood up straight for longer that he has for the entire past week, he begins to whine
Captain, with all due respect we've been standing 'ere for fuckin' ages, and my legs are hurtin'. You got somethin' to say, or can we fall out?

>>54233335
I IS RUBBIN HIS BOTTONS ALL GUD LOIK
ME BESTEST AND E WILL HELP ME FIND GLAND SO KILL CAN I

>>54233306
I IS HELPEN IS BUTTONS NOW CUS I AM IM AM BESTED BUDDERS

>once the General had left, the Commissar would look amongst the gathered troops, and would begin talking.

Well, it appears we have some good news for you all!

It seems that, while our ship is being repaired. The General has kindly offered us use of his estate!

As such, you may all consider yourselves on Shore leave.

Transports will be arriving to pick us up, in one hour! If you miss the ride, you won't be joining us!

(I am now phone yping, forgive the delay. My computer decided todie)

ANYONE AWARE OF WHERE WE ARE AND WHERE THE FUCKING COMMISAR IS?

>>54233430
... so what it means is we are actually going to the beach?
No tyranids this time?

>>54233430
SCREEEECH
>Slowly goes to the transport, trying not to get attention

>I'd return from my quarters just in time to hear the Commissar speak
Well, I suppose that's alright.

>>54233430
ME SHIRTS ON FIRE AND ME BUTTONS MELTEHD

>>54233430
I call shotgun

>>54233376
M-ny fat-...
>He would take a deep breath, before a moment later, exhaling. Looking somewhat more calm than before.

It is as the Commissar as said. We're being granted shore leave, and use of the General's manor.

It's hard to believe I'm going home...

>>54233451
MY SHOTGAN BOHT YOURS ROBOT

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>stumbles into view, reeking of cheap liquor and blood.

It's always a surprise where I'll be when I wake up from a drug induced coma.

>>54233452
Who is this genral?
I doubt that this will be going smothly hmph. Fine RIGHT IF ANYONE IS STILL ON HIS SHIP AFTERHE SHUTTLES LEAVE YOUR DOING INTENSIVE SCOUT TRAINING AND HAVING A MEDICAL CHEAK UP. MOVE IT

>>54233440
If you consider Hive towers, and toxic sand, on a planet with laws and rationing so strict, that even the air itself is rationed, to be a beach, than sure. We're all going to the beach Sergeant!

Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>54233477
XENOS!
>I'd pick up my Las-gun, aiming at it's head
>I'd fire a shot, hoping to hit it

>>54233398
You're the bestest. Now lets get some good food. Now find one of the cogboys and stick with them

>>54233452
>Rias would walk next to him and smirks
V for victory

Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>54233490
>My gun would break on the spot because of my cancer rolls
>I'd take out my las-pistol, aiming it at the Xenos head
>I'd fire a shot into it's head!

Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>54233490
OI DON DO THAT YAH CANT KELL YER OWN MEHN TAKE THAS TRAYTOR

>>54233430
>a noble
>giving a regiment use of the estate
>giving THIS regiment use of the estate
...I feel something is off about this.
Last time I felt like this, my homeworld was invaded.

>>54233483
>Astartes training
>Bad
>Medical check up
>VERY Bad
On the other mechadendrite, the planet is probably safer than this ship!
>Rho picks up a pack of tools and supplies, hopping aboard a transport and settling by a viewport

>>54233486
Aww
>The tech priest picks up his beach chair and umbrella, placing them back into his quarters

Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>54233477
>Spotting the foul xenos, I'd attempt to smite it on sight
>50+ to cast

>>54233440
>>54233444
>>54233448
>>54233449
>>54233451
>>54233477
>>54233483
>It would be exactly as the Commissar had stated earlier.
>About an after after the General had left. Several dozen shuttles would land inside the hanger. And several Praetorians would stand guard at each one, as they await the regiment to board them in an ORDERLY fashion.
>Anyone failing to do so, would be severely beaten, and thrown into a pile next to each shuttle.

>>54233486
Eh, as close at it gets in the guard. Now I'd better pack up all the perimetral defenses before we lieave... mhh, I hope one hour will be enough.

>Upon spotting the xeno, the tech priest slowly backs towards the transport and slips aboard, placing his luggage under his seat.

>>54233530
SCREEECH
>Stands behind Rho

>>54233530
MEH MEH LEHT ME OHN

>>54233513
RO I TOLD WAS THAT I GO FOLLOW YOU DO I FOLLOW YOH WHERE GO

>>54233530
It appears our ride has shown up...
>He would begin instructing his company to board the ship's, in an orderly fashion. Warning them that they will likely be beaten should they try and break formation.

>>54233499
Don't count on it just yet, Darling.

>>54233530
Glancing at the patorian guard next to my shuttle, Itap him out of the way and begin to cheak over my weapons while the guard trys to fix his broken arm

I got a bad feeling about this.

I then shoot a servitor, just to test my machine spirits eagernes.

GET IN GUARDSMEN. Fby sanguiouses wings HURRY UP

>>54233574
Lead the way... Mother is waiting...
>she follows him closely, a smirk behind her gasmask

This isn't going to include a DMI is it? I've been stuffing my socks in my A/B Drawer instead of folding them and I don't want them to notice that I'm missing some...

Rolled 13 (1d20)

>I'd fire another shot into the head of the Xeno in a panic

>>54233610
>He would roll his eyes. Already feeling the aura of 'smug' she has about her.
>Instead, once they had both boarded the shuttle, he would hold, and squeeze her hand tightly.

>>54233638
Havin had enoughof this guardsmens shit, I get up and drag the welp into the shuttle with me

BY THE EMPRA will you knock it off, im trying to meditate. Now if you dont stop, im going to put a bolt round in your leg and make you run the ships lenth. GOT IT?

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>>54233490
>bends at the waist to pick up the drugs he dropped, las-shot going wide.
>snorts the glowing green powder
Ahhh that's the stuff.

>>54233520
>looks up, sees the look of concentration twisting his face

You know I got some shit that can help you concentrate. I've been finding a ton of ingredients for my combat dru-....medicine...recently.

>>54233530
>strolls casually aboard the shuttle after wrapping a slightly blood stained camo cloak around his midnight blue armor.

>>54232901
Follow them down. Land with the others and we'll stay with them.
>The Canoness leans on the pilots chair as she chuckles
This will be too fun

>someone speaks up behind her
"Mother. Please hold back. We don't want to have to drag you out of here"
>she turns and approaches the sister
I'll be good. I have my daughter's honor to uphold anyway. Just fun to be on a hive world again after so long.

>>54233661
>her hand would be shaking violently and she pulls it back to hold her rifle, the action quelling its shaking
What was that?

>>54233551
>Waking up to one of the guards, Rho feigns loud interest in the lasgun model.
My word, what kind of refraction array does it use? I've never had a chance to disassemble a Praetoria-pattern before!
>Their attention gained, his mechadendrite waves Pawn onto the transport
>nobody should have to suffer the hospitalier, not even chaos spawn

>>54233571
Er, yes! Yes! We're going down to the planet! Come along, into the transport! Don't worry, it will all be over quickly!

>turning to the transport's guards
I'm so sorry Praetorians, but could you use the other transports? It's best not to cramp Ogryn.. and you may want to avoid the smell.

>>54233719
>He would smile.

That's just the sound of the engines preparing for take-off. You've heard it a thousand times already...

Are you... Are you actually more nervous about meeting my parents, than of ke meeting yours?

>He would chuckle.

That's actually adorable, Darling.

>>54233684
>>54233690
I was firing at the fucking DARK ELDAR TRUEBORN which is on the ship.[/spoiler[

>>54233731
SCREEECH
>Stands in a transport
>Takes a book from his "mouth"
>Begins to read it

>>54233748
I'm scared about meeting mine again...
>she gulps

>>54233731
OK I DO.
CAN FIX MY PLASMA SHOTGAN?
DO IT?
*presents what is obviously scrap metal shaped like a shotgun with green accents*
NOT WORKY RITE

>>54233784
>He would pat her head.

You'll be fine, Darling... And maybe we can hope none of them will show up?

>>54233784
I'm not... I'm not even going to question this, or the fact that the guards let you onboard....

>>54233687
>he shakily straps himself into his seat, looking around with suspicion
Where the hell did that xeno go? I needed to consume- I mean c-confiscate his drugs!

>>54233771
I... really don't know what we're gonna do about you, my *cough* friend.

>>54233827
SCREEECH
>Gives a bottle of powder with "Slaneesh approved" written on it

>>54233806
I know they're here. I can feel it...

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>>54233827
>a camo-cloaked figure straps in next to Sergeant van Kleez and leans over with a small vial filled with glowing green liquid

Just let me know if you need to confiscate any more mon'ke...fellow hu-man.

>>54233771
>he breathes a sigh of relief that Pawn is hidden away
>Particularly behind the bulk of an Ogryn

>>54233800
>is this tech heresy?
I- I'll need some supplies for that. I'll make a new shotgun once the ship is repaired, would that be alright?

>once everybody was aboard the shuttles, and the pre-flight checks had been finished. The shuttles would begin to take off. Their engines setting them on a direct course for one of Praetoria's larger hive cities.
>The hulls would begin heating up, as they head through the atmosphere, and towards the currently day side of the planet. Only the largest of spires disable at first, before gradually growing bigger and more focused.
>Within a decent amount of time, the transports would land along the very edge of the tallest spires. Dozens of landing pads having been cleared for their arrival.

>>54233827
The astartes looks at the guards,em in suprise

how are you not dead and lucid? You took nearly a kilo of astartes grade painkillers? Your having a test when the shore leave is over >>54233839


What is this GUARDSMAN? DID YOU TAKE IT FROM SOME FILTHY HERETICS?

>>54233878
...
>Nods

>A Ratling would jump down from the vents, appearing infront of the Ogryn
Oh shit

>>54233871
OKEY DOKEY ROBOHUMAN

>>54233839
...But then again, I'm not gonna complain.
>he grins under his mask as he tucks the bag into a coat pocket

>>54233860
>he takes the vial and mutters to the figure
Damn xenos, who knows what dastardly stuff they've got stashed away, ready to poison the minds of loyal citizens - good thing I'm here, eh?

>>54233878
Experience, my lord! And no, I only accept drugs from the most loyal of Imperial subjects!

>>54233874
>After a moment, a loud *POP* would be felt in everyone's ears, as the shuttles open up, and lower their exit ramps.
>Even from this height, the smoke flfrom the innumerable manufactorums, can be seen rising into the air. As numberless billions toil on below. Building the weapons, armoury and various other things that the Imperium uses on a daily basis.
>Outside, toxic sand dunes surround the hive city, only being broken up, by the sight of another hive city, hundreds of miles away.

Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>54233907
RRRAT
RATLIGJ
RATLDIGNFNF
FHUCKING RATLING
*the ogryn loses all self control and immiediately charges at the little ratling*
DONT CALL ME DUL YOU FHUCKIN HERIE TEC

>>54233918
>The tech priest stands from his chair and grabs his luggage from beneath it, before stepping outside and inhaling a deep breath
Smells just like the forge world. First stop, the beach!

Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>54233923
>As the Ogryn would miss, I'd aim my sniper rifle to it's head
>I'd fire a shot into his head at point blank range

Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>54233923
SCREEECH
>Tries to restrain maddened ogryn
>50+, whever rolls higher wins

Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>54233952
GETH OFF YOU FETHING CAMEL THE RATLING IT FUCKING THERE IT SHOT KILL IT NAT ME I WANT TO KILL GLAND

>>54233907
GAH! VERMI- wait, you're wearing clothes. Where'd you come from?!

>>54233909
>well, he's bought some time at least
>probably not best that Rogga isn't armed all the time after all

>>54233923
>case in point

>>54233858
I'm honestly not sure what to worry more about.

Our families meeting-
>He would turn his head to look at the various mutants, heretics, Xenos, and other assorted rablle around them.

-or the trouble the others are going to get into, during our stay...

>>54233918
>Matthias would take a deep breath, as he stands up from his seat. His body and mind, already having returned to its usual Praetorian mindset.

>>54233905
Riht then, well let me purify it


he sets it on the ground and fires that may bolt rounds into it that the passangers can see the hull through the floor.

all done

Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>54233971
>As he was restrained, I'd fire another shot into the Ogryn's head

>>54233942
10 or higher hits and 9 or less fails

>>54233991
It's 11+ to hit fella

Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>54233952
STOP LETTIN IT SHOOT AT MEH YOU FUCKIN GOO MONSTER RESTRAIN IT NOT MEH FHUCK OFF

Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>54233988
>Rho attempts to restrain the Ratling
By the Omnissiah would people stop shooting INSIDE VOIDSHIPS!

>>54233978
Ehhh... I'll be mostly fine... you on the other hand...

>>54233937
>He would pat the Tech-priest on his shoulder.

I wouldn't suggest letting out that breath you just took, for atleast another twenty seconds. Otherwise, you might find yourself with broken legs, courtesy of the local Arbites.

Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>54234010
*breaking free I charge once again at the fucking rat*
FUCKING DIE GLAND

Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>54234015
>I'd attempt to slip away from Rho

Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>54234038
>I'd fire a shot into the Ogryn's head!

>>54234038
Roll up, roll up, we're offering 4-1 on the Ogryn, 7-1 on the Ratling! Ya can't beat these odds!

>>54234041
CHARGE CHARGE CHARGE DIE DIE DIE

Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>54234057
SCREEECH
>Uses his third "hand"(tentacle) to take away his gun
>50+

>>54234019
>the priest holds his breath and begins to go red, clenching and unclenching his fists, before exhaling

>>54234057
*having a large chunk of his face removed, the ogryn was knocked unconscious and severely wounded*

Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>54234075
>I'd attempt to slip away from the spawn

>>54234086
>Pawn begins shaking Johnny
SCREEEEECH
>>54234083
>Pawn carries Ogryn to the nearest Medicae

Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>54234103
>I'd punch the spawn right in the eye

>>54234041
I have three hands HOW are you so slippery?!
>no idea if we've landed or not, this transport is probably pinging heresy-o-meters
>two abhumans, one mostly human and a chaos spawn all struggling

>>54234057
No, Rogga!

>>54234086
>[binary intensifies]
The Imperial Creed says that the empty mind is a blessed one. While I follow a different path, I feel I should respect it in this instance!
Is there a reason I should not purge you where you stand, abomination?

Er, not you Pawn. The other on- yeah sorry.

>>54234077
That's the spirit, Cog-boy. Make sure you follow the laws here on Praetoria.

Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>54234130
SCREEEECH
>Begins strangling ratling

>>54234143
>dead

Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>54234103
>Guardsmen, along with various jeeps, and other transports, would arrive at the various landing pads. Ready to pick up the men and women of the Regiment.

Seeing the Downed Ogyrn, a medic would let out a sigh, before running up to, and beginning to deal with the issue of his crispy looking face.
>Rolling for dealing with the injury.

>The Scion would appear after seemingly ages from being absent
Have I missed much?

>>54234164
>Pawn let's the Ogryn out and tries to hide from the general, he also eats ratling to hide the evidence

Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>54234191
Roll for hiding

>>54234148
>he's arguing with a small group of irate punters
No, the Ratling didn't win, he is dead... yes, I know the Ogryn has no face, but he's in a damn b-better state than the Ratling... no, you can't have a refund...

>>54234164
>The medic would sigh, after delaying with the Ogryn's wound.

>"Las shot to the brain it seems. I can try and fix him back at the barracks, but I figure one of two things is going to happen"
>"The first one, is he'll survive, but will be far more mentally retarded than he currently is."

>"The second... And I'm only stating this, because I've heard of it happening.... Is that he may actually become smarter... from it."

Rolled 2 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>54234148
>Rightous digital fury somewhat deflated from the subject dying already, Rho turns away to the Ogryn

>>54234164
Perhaps I can be of some assistance? I am no Genetor but the general education gives us have a small measure of biological knowledge..
>rolling medical assistance, penalty because Rho is bad at squishy science

>>54234226
Never tried adding a negative modifier before, turns out it doesn't work

>>54234219
>"This of course, is if he even SURVIVES, the procedure needed to implant the bionic eye."

Rolled 20 (1d100)

>I'd walk up to the corpse of the Ogryn
>With everyone failing, I'd attempt to put his brain back together
>50+

Rolled 31 (1d100)

>I'd attempt again so people don't get on my back about it
>Using my psychic powers I'd attempt to put it back together
>50+

Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>54234278
>>54234226
>Well, with the constant failure sir everyone around him trying to heal the Ogyrn. Several soldiers would drag the unconscious Orgyn towards a truck, so that he can be worked on by actual churigeons.
>Rolling to see if they can receive and heal him. Granted even if it works, he'll be out of thread for a bit.

>>54234226
>Rho misidentifies the brain, and is told politely but firmly by the medic to leave
>in his defense, the ogryn tongue is larger than the brain, and the brain lacks most of the wrinkles

>>54234301
>It would take several long, grueling hours to do. But finally, the Churigeons would have done it!
>They would have finally finished making their perfect Recaf!
>Oh, and in like... Twenty minutes, they installed a bionic eye that was far too small for the Ogryn, and had woken him up, by dropping an anvil on his head.

>>54234337
>While all of this was happening, the jeeps, and various other transports, would begin bringing the regiment towards the Wyvern manor.
>After a good fifteen minutes of driving through crowded streets, and narrow bridges. They would finally arrive at a large building, gated off building upon the peak of one of the larger spires.
>Large, ornate metal fences surround the nearly four block wide manor. With another set of gates, surrounded a seperate set of buildings that would appear to be some sort of military barracks.
>The manor itself stands nearly eight stories tall. With various gothic architecture all around it.

File: IMG_0308.jpg (497KB, 670x1024px) Image search: [Google]

497KB, 670x1024px

>>54234337
Prithee to be thine kind saviours, where art thoust evil fiend that so happeneth to assail mine humble visage?

>>54234421
SCREEEECH
>Stands behind Rho

>>54234422
Great, I still can't understand him

>>54234422
>after the melee has died down, he unstraps himself and stumbles down the ramp, his pocket full of winnings
Well, that was a profitable little endeavour. Thanks very m-much for the show, my f- hold the fuck up, what d-did you just say?

>>54234451
>trying to look like he knows what he's doing with a chaos spawn in tow and Ogryn blood splatter on his robes, Rho observed the manor..

>>54234421
I thought it would be bigger.

>>54234422
Rogga, you're er.. alright? Okay? Not about to drop dead of blood loss or cranial trauma?

File: You_Doodle_2017-07-09T17_38_19Z.jpg (487KB, 670x1024px) Image search: [Google]

487KB, 670x1024px

>>54234452
Whatever could thoust bestest meanest thine failureof a smith in this fine age?

>>54234421
>Matthias would exhale, as the large manor finally comes into view.

Well... Home sweet home, it would seem.

I wonder how Mother is doing since I last saw her several years ago...

>>54234490
Hold on a second... Rogg what's two plus two?

>>54234485
That's because this is the guest house, where you lot will be staying...

>>54234490
SCREEEECH
>Places "hand" on his sholder
>Gives a head of the ratling

>the lander gets clearance to land at a small sisters owned landing pad and the small group borrows a set of Ecclesiarchy transports to get to the Wyvern Manor
Take us in slow. We're guests here.

>>54234485
Never better you worthless scrap metal jukeboxing "oh by the gods my biologist mistook my younger for my cranium" sack of groxite mistleshit. How are youest myeth finesteth compatriot?

>>54234513
SCREEEECH
>Waves at Matthies

>>54234511
Two plus two? Why my dear friend you insult my intelligence by the very mention of such a fragile conundrum! The addition of two itemtical prime numbers will always be the duplicate of half of the resulting sum. That is to say, four.

>>54234538
>>54234492
>he spies the craft in the distance, and nudges Matthias
Uh, Captain? They supposed to b-be here?

>>54234560
Ya know what, I can't figure out if this is better or worse than ol' shit-for-brains. I feel mentally inferior to an Ogryn - that ain't right, damn it!

File: You_Doodle_2017-07-09T17_44_50Z.jpg (492KB, 670x1024px) Image search: [Google]

492KB, 670x1024px

>>54234514
MINE ASSAILANT!
Why I am enbdebted to you my longtime companion, though you tried to restrain me you have seen the light and as such I respect you your slimyness!

>>54234513
...Fair enough, I suppose. Now I just need to work out why I keep feeling like everything is about to go horribly wrong.

>>54234540
Well I'm just.. fine and dandy.
>what exactly do you say to that?
>plus he did fuck up that medicine roll pretty fucking badly

>>54234587
Are... are you saying you don't know what two plus two is?

>>54234587
In all likelihood, not a chance in hell...

>>54234608
>He would point his finger in the direction of >>54234538. An agusihrd look on his face.

Because it is...

>>54234610
>he scowls
N-No, Savlar education got at least that far. I'm saying that 'itemical' isn't the kinda word yer average bonehead comes out with.

>>54234659
>he gives a sideways glance
Glad ya got your estate so well under control here, Captain.

>>54234659
I'm not sure if I like this sixth sense of planetary destruction I seem to have picked up. Because it's going off.
Blackships aside, that is.

>Rhp suddenly dons a horrified expression
...That isn't the same order our hospitalier is from is it?

>>54234699
>He would let out a sigh, as the transports carrying the regiment, enter past the gate, and into the courtyard beyond.

>>54234699
You, plebeian. Inform the most noble commisar that I request "the difficult crossword" this time. No puzzle is beyond my grasp. Now go you filthy commoner.

>>54234716
SCREEECH
>Points at the nearest garden
>Runs in there to hide from the sister
(They will see through my desguise)

>>54234716
No... That isn't thankfully.
>He would pinch the bridge of his nose, as the transports stop infront of the main entrance.
Unfortunately, I can only assume that, to be the order my future mother, and sister-in-law's are apart of....

Whatever you men do. Do NOT allow yourself to spend any length of time near them, unless seven other members of our regiment are near by. That's a standing order.

>>54234738
Hey, less a' that, ten minutes ago you couldn't even SPELL 'plebeian'! That damn eye can be taken out as easy as put in, y'know.

File: cross.jpg (230KB, 807x1020px) Image search: [Google]

230KB, 807x1020px

>>54234738
Ooh, hold on a sec
>The tech priest rummages in his luggage before retrieving a large book titled 1001 Crosswords
Here ya go big guy

>>54234779
SCREEECH?
>Points at itself

>>54234779
>Rhp breathes a steady sigh of relief, ONE of that particular Sister is quite enough.
>although it seems the drama has only just started either way
We're with you Captain, in any case. We may be, well, a gang of lunatics and heretics at times but we look out for our own.
...When we're not killing each other that is.

It's not too late to request a transfer is it?

File: You_Doodle_2017-07-09T18_03_31Z.jpg (684KB, 810x1024px) Image search: [Google]

684KB, 810x1024px

>>54234811
A pitiful attempt Techpriest. Refrain from wasting my most important time in the future.

>>54234779
>the transports would stop and the sisters disembarking, the Canoness getting out first and b-lining it to the Captain
You there, Guardsman! Come here. I need a word with you real quick.

File: regstdwordsearch.jpg (132KB, 760x1036px) Image search: [Google]

132KB, 760x1036px

>>54234845
Faaaar too late, Tech-Priest... Faaaar too late...
>>54234811
>>54234738

>Matthias would hand him the actual one.

>>54234837
Yes you should be hiding!

>>54234779
>Rias would be hiding behind Matthias when the Canoness yells out

>>54234910
SCREEECH
>Hides behind one of the transports

>>54234898
>Matthias would nod his head at this. Before showing the woman towards the door.

We can speak inside...

>Meanwhile, the Praetorian soldiers, would be prodding, and forcing the troops into other entrances so that they could head to their rooms.

>>54234970
>Rias would be clinging to Matthias, still behind him
Lead on....

Woah, nice house. Are you sure there isn't a beach here?

>>54235005

>He holds her hand in his own, as he leads the group of sisters into the guest house.

>>54234970
You may lead.
>she turns back to the accumilated sisters
Girls! At ease. My guard come with me as well.
>a set of three sisters quickly catch upto their Canoness.

>>54235021
Evidently not. You would not happen to know of wherest the rooms wouldst be located would thou?

>>54235021
>The medic would pat the man's head.

Not unless you count oceans of toxic, radioactive sludge, and massive, continent sized deserts, to be a 'beach'.

>>54234970
>Rho grumbles at the prodding and follows the troops a huff, ending at a room that was far too plush for his liking
>I mean , where is the industrial laser cutter? Where is the lathe? He can't even see a weird tank of bubbling green liquid with a freaky fleshy thing suspended in it
>He can at the very least, wash his outer robe of Ogryn blood, so that's something

>>54235046
Head into the foyer then up the grand staircase, they're on the third corridor on the left. I called shotgun on the one with the big TV.

>>54235085
Well unfortunately for you, only one of us owns a shotgun. I will be enjoying my new television you scoundrel.
*walks off*

>>54235062
Shit, no beach then. What is there to do here? Any piles of technology to rummage through?

>>54235062
>>54235046
>>54235021
>>54234932
>>54234877
>>54234845
>>54234796
>The soldiers would begin leading the men and women of the regiment, through the massive guest house, and to their various assigned rooms.
>Each room itself, appears to be a work of art. Gold guilding on almost everything, fancy artwork of planets long since lost, or changed, plants that give of the most vibrant of fragrances, and sheets that feel so soft to the touch, that you'd think they made from the tears of angels, are but some of the items that can be found in each room.
>Upon being assigned their rooms, the soldiers would earn them, that dinner would be in six hours, and that they should come dressed well, or not come at all.
>They would also be told that should they not have outfits that are good enough, they will be provided with one, and that until dinner is ready. They are free to explore the city streets, and do what they wish, so long as they don't break any laws.

>>54235148
>addressing one of many guards Rho privately suspected were chosen for aesthetics;
After much time aboard ship, I thought I might explore the grounds and gardens. Oh do not look at me like that! A follower of the machine god can appreciate the evolved design of plants as much as any Imperial citizen.
Is there perhaps a side door so I do not need to always be coming and going via that main entrance? It is quite a distance away.

>>54235148
*thinking to himself*
Now I wonder if I could spread my new philosophy to the other abhumans on this planet. I know that we could all benefit from this brain enhancement technique I have discovered...
*leaves to wander the street and convince other abhumans to shoot themselves in the face*

>>54235032
>Heading in through a seperate entrance that is hardly ever used by even the guest house's servants. Matthias would finally speak up.

You may drop the acts 'Canoness'.... I already know whom you are...

>>54235185
I may be your future Mother-in-law but I am still a Canoness of this Order. I'd make sure you know of this.
>she walks with an air of leadership around her

>>54235181
>There are no Abhumans for as far as the now intellectual Ogryn can see. Merely nobles and their various entourages walking the city streets. Each making sure to keep away from the foul smelling 'mutant' as it passes by them. Disgusted looks upon their faces, that such a thing was even ALLOWED to breath the same rationed air as them. Let alone LOOK anywhere near them.

>>54235170
>One of the guards would explain the quickest way to the property gardens.
>"Sir, you must head down the staircase, until you reach the bottom floor. From there, its a simple matter of going out the main door, and follow the path to your left. You should be there, in a few minutes.

>>54235248
Hmm, not a single one in sight... I HAVE IT!
I can communicate my message via the vox!
I could join one of the ecclisiarchal propaganda towers and convince my fellow mutants to shoot themselves!

>>54235248
>main door
>shit
Ah, my thanks for your help.
>stalking off, Rho considers how to smuggle a chaos spawn into a highly secure guest hall, and out again
>and exactly how dangerous it is to leave that same spawn in the gardens to probably eat a gardener or two

>>54235246
And you're speaking to the future Lord of this house! So I expect you to quell your tongue "Daemon"!
>He speaks with just as much an air about him, as she does.

You may be my future Mother-in-law, but there is only so much I am willing to take from you, before my anger reaches its limit!

>The priest stops one of the guards walking the halls
Ah, uh, excuse me, I was wondering if there was any kind of transport system, maybe a, oh I don't know, car hire or some such establishment?

>>54235288
You insult me... I'll let it slide for this is our first meeting and my daughter seems rather fond of you.
>she steps forward as the other three tense up
But do not think my ire is something easily removed... Now. I believe you have a meeting to broker... Also...
>she swiftly pulls the mask off Rias
Come on darling make yourself presentable. Don't go hiding your face this is your first meeting, straighten your back, chin up, look like you want this to go well. I know you're better than this.

>>54235267
>It would take the Ogyrn several hours of wandering about, before he finds the nearest Shrine of the Emperor.
>The thing is a massive building, made of imported marble blocks from a thousand plus world's, and is covered in gold.
>A rather large statue of what can only be assumed to be an artist's rendition of a 'young Emperor', stands outside of it. Made of solid adamantine, and covered in a thick layer of gold.

>>54235287
>The garden itself is rather beautiful, and well kept. With marble statues and fountains alongside every well kept, and managed pathway.
>The plants themselves, are from planets all across the imperium of man. Many of which were long ago destoryed exterminatus.

>>54235382
*walking inside I introduce myself to the receptionist*
Why hello there, I was just wondering if I could be allowed time on air to convince mutants like myself to shoot themselves in the face.
I am not expecting to be kept waiting.
It's a brand new philosophy I invented.

>>54235362
>He would clentch his teeth out of anger. Doing everything he can, to hold himself back, from slaying the foul warp disgusted daemonette in-front of him.

Very well, "Mother"...
>He could almost TASTE the bile as he says these words, with as much gentlemanly kindness as a man could muster.
-You'll get to meet my parents later tonight, during supper. I'd suggest wearing something nice, and not 'exposing'...

>He would turn to face his fiancé. A gentle, legitimate smile on his face.

Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>54235148
>minutes after entering his room, it is completely bare of anything even vaguely expensive-looking, including the lightswitches
>his pack bulges suspiciously
I think I'm gonna like this place.

>with a swagger, he takes to the streets, swiping the doorknocker on the way out
>rolling for, ahem... 'finds'

>>54235348
>The guards would explain that, should any of them wish to, they can requisition a vehicle for themself over at the nearby barracks, alongside anything else they might need.

>>54235440
>The Priestess on duty would almost scream at the top of her lungs out of fear, upon seeing the large Abhuman in-front of her.
>"GAAAAAA~! A M-M-M-MUTANT! A HIGHLY EDUCATED MUTANT!"

>Meanwhile Pawn is navigating through the Gardens labirynth, chacking through his tentacle eye for anyone

>>54235480
>Other than what appears to be a somewhat 'sexual' (from his perspective) painting in his room. He isn't quite sure WHAT is expensive and valuable in his room.

>>54235382
>reaching the gardens, Rho spies the Sister landing craft in the distance but shakes off the temptation to examine it more closely
>while sororitas power armor is an amazing example of technology... he's got more pressing matters right about now
>or at least, matters that if not resolved could be bad
>fortunately his new eye has enhanced auspex capabilities and notices something with the wrong shape to be human
Pssst! Pawn? You out there?

>>54235515
Now there there young lady, no need to be rude.
Not befitting of such an attractive lass such as you. Now, about my duties: would you mind guiding me up to the recording studio. I have a message to go out about abhumans shooting themselves.

>>54235458
>Rias would be glaring at him with that angry wife glare
Be nice. You're pushing her. She's being nice by not killing anyone... and you know she can be many times worse...

>>54235566
Silent SCREEECH
>A "periscope" made of flesh extends near the house

>>54235590
Phew, I was worried one of those Sisters would-be well nevermind.
Are you alright out here? The guest rooms have windows, so I could probably get you in if you want?

>>54235588
>He would have a rather honest, and truthful look to his face.

Oh, whatever could you possibly mean, Darling? I'm simply having a chat with my future 'mother-in-law'! That's all!
>"Before I cut her in half, and send her back to the Warp, like the foul soul stealing, daemonette she is!"

Am I not allowed to make sure that both your mother and I, have a firm understanding?

>>54235698
SCREECH
>Makes something resembling "okay" gesture
>A "periscope" goes down and Pawn continues his journey to the window near dining area

>>54235710
>she smacks him in the back of his head
You forget. I've known you long enough to know what you're thinking... and she's not a Daemonette, that's actually insulting
>she pulls his ear

>>54235515
Aha, thank you
>He saunters towards the barracks, immediately beelining towards a luxury limo
I'd like to, uh, requisition, this car. Yes I can drive stick. Of course I have a D class license.
>He hops in the driver's seat before speeding away a little too fast out onto the streets.

>>54235576
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5ZJbWp2CTbk
>The woman would continue screaming, until one of the other priests entered into the room.
>"Aldia? What seems to be the matter he-!"
>Upon seeing the Ogryn before him, the elderly priest, would also begin screaming out.

"MUTANT! IN THE EMPEROR'S SACRES SHRINE!"

>>54235764
Ow! Ow! Ow! Okay! Okay! I ge- OW! STOP PULLING ON MY EA- OWWWW!!!

>>54233860
Pssst
Hows the city? You know who still running things by being ten times as clever and ruthless as anyone else?

Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>54235752
Er, alright. Let me see... Security isn't much here, I doubt it's a big concern with all the external security.
>rolling to pierce the security grid on the window
>it's cool I'll turn it back on before we leave

>>54235782
>His truly vision of driving a limo, would be broken apart, by the feeling of the quarter master, slapping him back to his senses. Before handing him a stack of several hundred pages of paper work.
>There would be roughly about 2 hours worth of paper work for him to fill out, before he gets to do any driving or riding.

>>54235786
Yes yes I have heard it all before, anyway I was looking for the recording studio. I need to send out a message to my fellow mutants and convince them to shoot themselves in the face. So which floor is that?

>>54235816
>He would feel a painful shock course through his system, as his atgemptnis forcefully interrupted, and an alarm goes off in the security area.
>He's got about a minute or two too hide, before he's hunted down by several dozen guards.

>>54235799
Now apologize because that was a twofold insult.
>she lets his ear go, glaring at him

>>54235831
>He wipes the drool from his mouth
Huh? Oh, yeah. Papers
>He pulls a quill from within his robes and flexes his writing hand.

>>54235816
SCREEEEECH
>Pawn runs to Rhos room and grabs him by one of his "hands"

Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>54235816
>wincing at the zap and alarm, Rho looks around.. and his optics land on the hedge labyrinth Pawn was hiding in earlier
Okay, new plan. Dodge whoever comes to investigate, and try again later.
>rolling to hide in the hedge maze

>>54235913
>Pawn smacks him at the back of his head

>>54235858
Alright! Alright!
>He turns towards his future Mother-in-law. An apologetic look to his face.

You have my apologies, mother, for my rude tongue-in-cheek comments a moment ago. I hope that you can forgive this foolish man.

>>54235868
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=npNlTpqSgGw
>Once the paper work was in order, he would be given the keys.

>>54235839
>The elderly priest, would begin hitting him with a large broom.
"Out mutant! OUT I SAY! LEAVE 'HIS' DOMINION!"

>>54235913
> suddenly slaps him heartily on the back
Hey what are you doing? Avoiding everyone? Good call, keep up the good decisions and I'll have to declare you a magos

Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>54235913
>The guards would begin looking throughout the area for the "intruders". Each one is armed with a hellgun, and a carapace chest piece.

Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>54235946
Allright so I guess I will just find the recording room on my own. Thanks anyway old man.
*roll to see what room I find*

>>54235975
>whoops tag

>>54235981
>It doesn't take them long. As red and white robes sticking out of a green bush, is rather easy to spot.
>There weapons are quickly leveled at the Tech-priest, and pawn.
>"Hands up!"

Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>54235946
>The tech priest twirls the keys around his finger before hopping into the drivers seat, taking a second to appreciate the rich corinthian leather, before cruising out of the grounds into the streets.
>Rolling for how bad the traffic is

>>54235945
It's a Lord's manor! It has good security! There's a reason assassins and infiltrators are seen as highly skilled!

>>54235975
>Rhonjumps at the sudden presence behind him
...Wait- who's tha-

>>54235981
>interrupted by a proximity ping, and a little stuck for escape options, Rho saws himself up and does his best to appear haughty
>bluff time
Hmm? Is someone there? Come on out man, show yourself!

>>54236021
...
>Pawn tries to make himself look humanoid
>Pawn puts his "hands" up

>>54235946
Thank you. I accept your apology
>she gives a light bow
I must ask though. When do we get to meet them because I'm quite eager to speak with them.

>>54236028
>He somehow crashes the fucking limo into the garage door. Totally a 200000 throne limo in less than twenty seconds.

>Wanders about, dazed
I can't believe it hurts this much to put the mask back in place...
>blood trickles from his newly opened tears around the nails holding his metal mask in place

>>54236021
Now what is the meaning of this? Explain yourselves! Or is this some idea of a funny Praetorian jape?

>>54236067
>The tech priest stumbles out of the car, surveys the damage and the garage full of mechanics staring at him, before tossing the keys in the air and fleeing into the gardens like the little bitch he is.

>>54236050
>>54236045
>Roll for bluff please.

>>54236055
>Once Rias' had let go of his ear. He would speak up.

As I previously stated, beofre my Fiancé tooon the liberty of smacking me around. You'll get too meet them at dinner time, likely alongside my brothers.

Although I highly doubt, that they were expecting to see you four, and the rest of your forces.

Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>54236116
I haven't even got to tell my lie yet

Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>54236116
SCREECH
[Spoiler]I didn't say anything[/Spoiler]

>>54236136
dammit

>>54236098
>(I can only imagine he looked like this https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=j-0FKH6ph3M )
>The mechanics would watch the Tech-priest flee. Their hands scratching their heads in confusion at rhebnownwreaked car as he flees towards the manor and it's gardens.

>>54236075
>One of the Praetorian guards would ask him, if he is alright.

>>54235988
>He would eventually end up in a bathroom, with a tv in it.

Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>54236126
>>54236136

>Rolling for counter. First roll for rho, second for pawn.

Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>54236223
>God dammit, only one went through!
>This one is for Pawn.

Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>54236208
Hmmm, well this isn't it... I guess the rec room must be upstairs?

Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>54236239
...
SCREEEECH
>Pawn legs it

>>54236208
Obviously. Think minor bleeding from the skull would slow me down? Think putting glass eyes a size too big in my empty sockets would hurt too much to do myself? Think again.
>Falls to the ground
On the other hand, I am feeling slightly dizzy.

>>54236080
Now that you've got rule one down: dare to no one else will work on rulerules two don't get caught
Keep this up and promotions are in your future
> stealth field activates

>>54236261
>Pawn voxes Matthias
SCREEEEECH

Rolled 4, 13, 6, 15, 16 + 1 = 55 (5d20 + 1)

>>54236261
>>54236239
>One of the guardsmen would speak up about the chaos spawn in the garden.

>"HOLY EMPEROR! WHAT IN THE BOWLS OF MARS IS THAT THING!?!"
>"I DON'T KNOW! SHOOT IT! SHOOT IT!"
>all the hairdos would begin firing at Pawn. +1 for tripling up there.

Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>54236300
SCREEEECH
>Pawn tries to run away again

>>54236273
>stealth field
+When do I get the expensive tech?+

>>54236300
>they don't know what a chaos spawn is
Calm now! Calm! It's merely a pet project of a biologis! You don't need to shoot the poor thing!

>>54236332
Oh now look at that! You scared it off!

>The tech priest pokes his head from behind a large shrub upon hearing several loud cracks of lasguns firing, witnessing several beams of light shooting from further within the gardens
>He crawls further back into the shrub, praying it isn't the insurance company here already

Rolled 14, 13, 11, 16, 9 = 63 (5d20)

>>54236332
>The guardsmen, would begin chasing after Pawn, firing off shots as they go

Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>54236381
SCREEECH
>Keeps and running and call Rho on vox
SCREEEECH

>>54236410
>Pawn stumbles because of one on his injured legs

Rolled 14 (1d100)

+I really messed up coming out here didn't I?+

>>54236381
Calm yourselves! Halt! That is a a very valuable experiment! Destroy it and face the wrath of a Magos!
>bluff worked once, right?

Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>54236268
>The man would let out a sigh, as he is now forced to carry the Astropath to nearest medic on property.
>Rolling to see how well the medics can deal with him

>>54236116
I tried sending a messenger ahead but they must have failed. I'll have the ship alert them that I request a meeting.
>she give a genuine smile to him

Rolled 15, 16, 10, 19 = 60 (4d20)

>>54236428
>One of the men, would smack him in the back of the head, with the butt of his rifle.

Quiet you!
>>54236422
>The others would continue to fire at pawn

>>54236446
No need for that 'mother'... I'm sure one of the servers will have told my mother any moment n-
>There would be a chime on his comm.

Well speak of the devil....

>He would answer it.

Mhm.... Yes they are.... Indeed.... Alright Mother.... I'll see you tonight.... Love you as well.

>>54236454
>Pawn fall down
SCREEEECH
>Dies

>Walks up, wearing a pink bathrobe and his usual straw hat
What's going on?

>>54236479
But how will they know the reason for my visit?

>>54236434
That's better... I think my brain is no longer spilling over my face.

>>54236531
>Matthais would smile.

I explained this to one of the servents on the way here, that should anyone strange show up, that my parents be alerted to their arrival.

Your arrival, 'Mother'.

As such, they already have a slight idea as to tlwhom you are.

>>54236577
>"You need to be far more careful Astropath. Otherwise you'll end up dead like that intruder we've been hearing about-

>>54236490
>-the scene cuts over towards the gardens. With pawns death essentially being this.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JbctF48opUw

>>54236639
Good. And should I assume Power armor isn't suitable dinnerware, hmm?
>she looks slightly down at him

Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>54236639
ALLRIGHT, THIS MUST BE THE WAY!

>>54236680
>If she stands at less that 6'4" he's taller.
>He would cross his arms over his chest as he looks at her.


Of course 'Mother'... It's a fancy dinner, in honour of both my return, and my engagement.

>>54236639
Well, let's just say that I have a certain talent of not dying.

>>54236689
>This is sadly a simple, yet expensive looking shrine, dedicated to the Emperor. The closest thing he manages to find, is the TV in the bathroom.

Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>54236753
Why does one building need so many shrines?
How about the elevator?

>>54236731
>Those are some killer heels... wait are they blades...
Then may we have a room to change into more "modest clothing then or do you want to provide us with some?"

>slumping to his knees, the priest can't find anything to say
>he can't even protest as the guards do their work
>instead just silently watching

>>54236774
>The elevator cable to the lower levels would snap due to age and wearm cause it to fall for quite some distance.
>Minor explosion.
>>54236777
I was just about to show you too your rooms, id you would all pleasefollow me.
>From there, he would lead them each to their individual rooms, in order to let them get ready.

Dinner will be ready soon. I'll have clothes brought to you soon enough...

>He would take hold of Rias' hand, before walking away, and out of the building.

Yours are already prepared over in the main house....

>>54236749
>"I'll say. Your friends seem to have a tough time not getting shot at though."

>>54236504
>"Don't you worry trooper. Just go and get yourself ready for the dinner over in the main house."

>>54236836
I'll just have to say, who needs friends when you have a carving kit. Also, nice choice of uniform. Fits the color of your eyes.

>>54236836
>He would smile at Rias, as they wander across the gardens, and towards the main house.

Mother wanted to pick out something special for the occasion, of meeting her soon to be daughter.

Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>54236836
*roll to resist minor damage*

>>54236871
>"Oh, why thank you Astropath!"
>The medic blushes at his words.
>"I thought it made me look fat. But if you think otherwise..."

>>54236836
Uh, sure.

>The priest drags himself out from under the large shrub after hearing the commotion die down, and begins walking towards the large house, looking over his shoulder the entire time.

Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>54236896
*roll to escape elevator shaft with a broken leg*

>>54236902
I assure you, it compliments your good looks quite well. Nice haircut, too.

>>54236934
>The medic would blush furiously at his compliments.
>"W-well... You're not so bad yourself... I-I suppose..."

Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>54236925
*roll to finally find the fucking rec room*

>>54236875
Oh lord... I hope it looks alright...

>>54236904
>he gets dressed in his finest sackcloth uniform
>>54236967
Captain, will I need a service weapon for this?

>>54236920
>Thankfully, it would seem nobody is around to pay attention to the Tech-priest. Most people are to busy dealing with other things. Such as blowing apart the chaos spawn, or dealing with the thousand plus other guests.

>>54236904
>"would you like me to show you to the parlor? Or perhaps help you rent a vehicle to wander about the spire for the next few hours?"

>>54236967
If only I had eyes so I could see how good you look...

>>54237005
>There would be silence for a moment, before he would feel a pair of soft hands, grab onto one of his own.
>They would force him to reach out, and touch something.
>...That sure as hell isn't her face....

>Seemingly from no where the private would come out and appear to all of you
Someone give me a rundown of what's happened thus far?