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>Be gangly-armed blacksmith's apprentice
>Have a crush on blond neighbor girl, she reciproates, we get engaged
>One day, the Oracle of the Azure Orb arrives in town, says that she is the Chosen One destined to wield the Blade of Eternal Endings and defeat the Thousandfaced Demonking to bring peace to the land for 1000 years
>Offer to go with her, I'm not bad with a hammer
>Oracle tells me no, I must stay behind and create the Ultimate Armor
>Over the next year, I forge the shit out of a piece of armor, making the greatest thing anyone in the village has ever beheld
>A few days later, a passing merchant tells us that the Demonking was defeated and that they'll throw a parade in the capital
>Spend all of my money to go to the capital in time
>There's a big parade, and the king announces that the Chosen One will succeed him as queen, and to celebrate she'll marry her sidekick on the journey the bumbling wizard, he's so wacky
>She surveys the crowd, we lock eyes for a moment, she doesn't even recognize me
>Return home and marry the slightly overweight redheaded baker's daughter
>Die of gangrene at 42
>Last thing I ever see is the Ultimate Armor I hung in our bedroom
What's up, my fellow peasants?
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Honestly what we ought to do is just get real strong. I'm hearing talk of this exercise thing you can do to really build those muscles. Imagine a whole village that can defend itself from monsters, so we don't need to pay those pesky adventurers anymore.
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So former Dwarf ere.
I was a miner working in a human town near the northern mountain ranges.
One day I went to drink something ye tallfolk call "wine" that some merchants brought in from the south.
I drank just wee too much of the good stuff and ended up losing my freedom to some gangly human wizard who put a magic slave collar on me.
The guy had me locked up in a birdcage and had me only drink his potions till I keeled over.
Now the problem is that me body was gone and I was dead like a iron mole that met a rust monster.
The wizard at least had the morals to bring me back by casting Reincarnate on me.
Only problem is I got brought back as a lanky knoife ear from the woods.
Thank the booze he finally released me after that and I got to leave.
Now here's my problem:
How do I face my wife and son with the fact that I'm now 7ft tall and have pointy ears?
I guess I can only switch from drinking Ale to drinking Moonshine now. Newer liked the strong taste while I was a Dwarf but now it tastes godly.
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>>54221088
Hi, mister peasant.
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>>54221771
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>>54221790
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>>54221752
Well if what i hear about dwarves are true.
Then you might wanna get a really broad shield.
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>>54221173
Nay.
Our lord don't like when we show any sign of soldiery. Thinks we might rebel or something.
Just talk to the hunters about getting yourself a bow.
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Why don't we just kill a knight, or wait for one to get killed by some beast or too much liquor, and then take his armor? Shouldn't be too hard to be a knight, especially compared to farming - all you gotta do is waltz between towns, ask for food, and fight the odd grumglsetk or something.
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>>54221812
What did ye hear about us? Uh I mean dwarves.
Kinde hard to adjust to bein an elf.
My sight is soo good that I see everyone in slow motion and I can move my body in almost impossible manners.
Was thinking about learning martial arts because of it after I heard what a bunch of wood elven monks did in a few towns over with catching arrows mid air or walking on walls.
All ways thought that was bullshit until I expirienced this.
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>>54221886
Or ye pick up your hoe and readjust it into a spear and be done with it.
Buying a few spellbooks to have the smarter lads in town learn how to shoot acid from their hands is also a good option.
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>>54222077
>spellbooks
Burn the witch!
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>>54221832
Come on now, are you telling me that your lord doesn't allow wrestlin' or stone-tossing or anything like that? It's not proper soldiery, but it gets you strong!
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>>54221088
>tfw you will never loot the corpse of a dead knight
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>>54221088
>Be gangly-armed blacksmith's apprentice
>gangly-armed
>blacksmith's apprentice
Hold on lads something about this story doesn't hold water!
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>>54223444
He's only the apprentice, he's still learning.
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>>54223451
Not if he's incapable for the job in the first place.
This knave is a scammer trying to trick you into taking pity on him and surrendering your coinage!
Thread posts: 17
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Thread images: 7