Field Kit Inspection: Cleaning House p2 Edition

Where's that Hospitalier person? I have an arm that needs fixing

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>>54220634
OI EMPRA TOLD MEH DAT I WAS TO BE HERE.
WAT I DO TELL ME.

>>54220634
>Hangs around near the Medicae facilities as they seem safe for the moment

>already half way through the tank of exotic chems, he looks far more at ease with the situation

>>54220659
Ech, I wouldn't go near her if I were you. Who knows what strange shit she's gonna put in ya?

>Rho staggers past a couple bulkheads, and pulls off his void helmet with a groan
I started toda- what time is it.. I started yesterday going to overhaul the auspex. And then I started repairing and cleaning the place. And now there's more mess than ever.
Great.

>>54220584
>Waving the heavily armoured figure over, Rho walked to a bench with a seat he collapsed into
Let's take a look at it. How you broke it so quickly is beyond me.

>>54220709
It's her job, fella

>>54220709
Corporal! It's time for your bi-weekly check-up! Come on in! I promise, you won't end up drinking another man's semen!

>A lumbering mass of limbs and mouths goes to Hospialier carrying two wounded crewmen

>>54220712
>I'd hand him the Flachette blaster
It's busted

>>54220712
YOH WHAT JOB I HAVE. WHAT IS ORDERS. WHERE BOSS IS. TELL.

>>54220751
Never mind him, my arm's fucked

>>54220751
>>54220709
I'm also a medicae if you'd rather have me doctor you

>>54220784
>She flashes the solar a warm smile.
I'll have one of the churigeons deal with it, alright?

>>54220797
The fuck is a churigeon?

>a giant cerimite being enters the bridge. his left pauldren holding a black sword dipped in read on a white apothecaries rank signifier. and on his right a stylized black =][= on a blood red power armour. his voice thunders from his helms vox caster

WHERE IS THE COMMANDING OFFICER?

>>54220805
"it another word for "healer". A professional doctor.

>>54220797
>A "creature" bursts through the door
SCREEEECH
>Places down two wounded crewmen
>Vomits another, he's a gibbering wreck
SCREEECH

>>54220751
>>54220754
>>54220784
Hey, what a shame, looks like you're gonna be too busy for that checkup. Maybe next time? Better yet, maybe never?

>>54220807
>he points to the bridge
He went thataway, big fella.

Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>54220756
>he's tired, but not about to let a poor little machine spirit go unserviced, and so carefully disassembles the weapon to service it
Hello there little one, oh there there.. it's okay now.. did something happen in the battle? ...that's alright, against those horrible things it's okay to make mistakes or get scared.. you didn't? You're such a brave little spirit, I'll bet you can you tell me where the problem is..
>Repair roll, with time and tools, 40+

>>54220757
I don't have any orders for you, er.. large one. The commissar should be on the bridge I believe, he's the leader for the regiment.

Rho, you're probably a better Hospitaller than this useless fuck. Tell me about cybernetic implants will you?

>>54220832
thank you guardsman

>the armoured being marches towards where the commander supposedly was.

[I wonder what I did to get this assignment]

>>54220807
> his black robes shimer in the artificial light
THE BRIDGE WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING AND WHY ARE THE DEATHWATCH HERE

>>54220838
BRIDGE NO BRIDGE. BRIDGE GOES ON PLANET NOT SHIP. NO RIVER NO BRIDGE. WHERE IS BRIDGE. DONT LIE TO ME STUPID. I COUNT TO 3 THINS IN 3 SECONDRES.

>>54220788
Honestly, there's nothin' wrong with me. This Emprah-damned succubus just wants to molest me, is all.

>>54220862
No trouble, my man.

Say, that guy was awful tall for a guardsman.

Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>54220832
>She would grab the kan by his mask. Nd would pull him, into her office.

That's fine. This shouldn't take TOO long...
>Rolling for how through her examination of him is.

>>54220878
I am here for a assignment that you do not need to know of, mind your own emperor damned bussnes

and I am naturaly loud

>>54220898
>he immediately assumes the foetal position, clinging onto his clothes for dear life

>>54220911
EMPRAH WHERE IS EMPRAH. EMPOR TOLD ME BE HERE AND I AM WHERE IS A BRIDGE BRIDGES GO ON RIVERS NO RIVERS ONLY METAL SHOP

>>54220844
Hmm, gun should be alright now. Tell me if it malfunctions again.
As for cybernetics..
>Rho flexes his own mechanical hand
There's a few options available on board, nothing spectacular but superior to the flesh in any event. You may want to speak to a Magos about the procedure, I'm no Genetor though I believe Magos Gelt may have had some training in that.
You er, may want to get that looked at first, cybernetics can be installed later.

>>54220881
The bridge is.. ah.. the room where the ship is steered. I'm not sure why it's called the same as a means of crossing a river actually. It should be along the corridor and- well you can try asking someone at the end where to go next.
Oh, but I think that heavily armoured person in red is going to see the commissar as well.
>Rho blinks a few times, wait. That isn't carapace armor. Is that a fucking Astartes?

>>54220944
SCREEECH
>Gives a map

>>54220915
>>54220898
>By the time she is finally done with him. He would be a broken. Shaken mess.
>She had stuck things into places, he didn't know could have things inserted into.
>Once she was done with him. She would wipe her forehead of sweat, and would let him go on his way. A comically large lolipop in hand.

See? That's wasn't so hard. Now was it?

>>54220911
What are you doing here?

>>54220958
I'm in the right mind to kill that fucking Hospitaller. In fact...
>I'd make my way to her office, putting my aim of my Volkite charger to her head
You wanna explain why you're so fucked up, lady?

>>54220963
THIS MAP OF SHIP NO BRIDGE ON SHIP BRIDGE GOES ON RIVER WHY SO LOUD YOU ARE SLIMY GO AWAY WORDS ON MAP TOO SMALL

>>54220968
A arch traitor? I seek this regiments commander.

but what are you doing here?
>I grip my boltpistol

anything...hetetical?

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>>54220975
>The moment he leveled a gun to her. Was the moment her churigeons chainsaw would activated.

I'm doing my damn job in here! What in the Emperor's name are you doing!?

>>54220964
>he lies quaking on the floor
Y-Yes... i-it... w-was...

Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>54221005
Killing you
>I'd blast my Volkite Charger into her head

>>54220996
In sorry I have no idea what your taking about. Id offer to duel you but if you have a task from father go ahead ill be sharpening the sword ferrus gave me

Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>54221020
SCREEECH
>Tries to restrain program
>50+

>>54220634
>Matthias... Utterly exhausted from the fighting, and the cleaning. Would be writing down casualty figures at this point in time.

Rolled 22, 52 = 74 (2d100)

>>54221006
>stopping my march, I run full sprint to the tortured guardsmen

WHERE ARE THE HERETICS, WHO TORTURED THIS MAN?

>I drag him away from the gun fight
[rolling for diagnostics and ideas on how to help him]

>>54220958
Ordos redactor means I can do about anything but I'm particularly good at genetor

Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>54221035
>Breaking out of the Spawns restraint
>50+ although my rolls will be shit

>>54220958
THAT STUPID YOU CHANGE NAME NOW. CHANGE NAME OF BRIDGE MAKE BRODGE TO AVID CONFUSION. I FOLLOW RED MANLET NOW BYE BYE ROBOT MAN

Rolled 5 (1d20)

>I'd re-send my aim towards the head of the Hospitaller
>I'd pump a shot into her head
>At point blank I dunno how I'd miss but my rolls are very bad today

>>54221032
Emperor damn it, they're in vents again! Damn Primarchs! Shoo! Shoo!
>Rho shoos away the Primarchs into the vents
Damned canon characters.. they'll infest the whole place if you're not careful.

Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>54221020
>The young sister of battle, though just a hospitaller. Would still BE a sister of battle.
>As such, the moment the shot had been fired, she would have fucked under it, before swinging her chainsaw into the man's gut.

FOR THE EMPEROR!

>>54221057
SCREEECH
>Tries again
[maybe we should do with the one with higher roll to win]

Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>54221093
>50+

>>54221082
Please stop beating me with a broom

Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>54221085
>I'd fire my flechette blaster into her head in a last ditch attempt as I got shot in my shoulder

>>54221051
>the apocathery is unsure what horrible cultist tortured the guardsmen, but he removes the horrid devices and applys pain killers.

Rest guardsmen, do not meet the emperor yet

>an LED on his rebreather lights up, and the hiss of a stim canister emptying itself can be heard
>seconds later, he's on his feet
>>54221051
Whew, I owe you one there ma- oh shit, you're an Astartes.

>>54221076
Ya missed! One job, and ya fuckin' missed! Emprah's teeth, will someone rid us of this damned wench?

>>54221130
YOU MAN TAKE ME TO COMMISAR MAN
I TOLD WAS THAT YOU GO TO HIM TAKE ME TO SEE HIM WHERE IS?

>>54221139
>>54221120

>>54221053
>Rho jumps, not realising the Magos in question was nearby, terror adrenaline waking him up once more
Oh! M-magos! I didn't notice you there! I'm sorr- it's just the attack and everything. I'm a little out of sorts.

>>54221112
No.

>>54221189
Why are you beating a primarch with a broom?
And please relax you are very talented where I'm from you'd probably be almost if not already a magos

Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>54221139
yes I am an astartes. I am also a doctor, now stay still.

>>54221151
o wait, I have a patient to tend to.

[for how well I can fix your pykeo damage]

>>54221152
Haha, what a shot- I mean, oh no, how dare you assault a most holy agent of the Emperor. I'd come to her aid, if not for the fact that I can barely fuckin' walk after the probing she gave me.

>>54221208
Considering the number of times I've made a few.. slightly spectacular failures... while I appreciate the compliment, very much so I think I may still need more experience.
>what's that? There's a Magos on board who's younger than Rho? Stop being sensible and pointing out discrepancies

Also he's a canon character. Really shouldn't be here, maybe we can fumigate while at Praetoria. There might be an infestation of them.

>>54221283
finishing up my work, I manage to fix most of the damage but he will forever fear the femail doctor

>>54221327
are you alright?

Shit-uh hello there guys. Reporting for booty-ay-uh I mean duty
>Bob would be equipped with a standard lasgun, it appears he was recently inducted into the regiment

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>The techpriest stumbles out from his quarters, making some last minute adjustments to his replacement eye, wincing every time he makes an adjustment
I swear if we're not steering this thing towards a planet that's nothing but warm sunny beaches I'm gonna be so pissed.

>>54221333
I saw horus the other day.....
Hmmm
I need to sleep on it good night "friend"

>>54221401
Hey uh Techpriest, your name tag is spelled wrong. You should prolly' fix that

>>54221333
Swear I saw Lucius the Eternal round here earlier. Damn things get everywhere, we need to stop leaving food scraps and lore out...

>>54221363
Eh, I can probably walk now, m'lord. Still, uh, might need some a' that morphine for, ya know... pain relief. Yeah.

>>54221387
Damn, ya shoulda showed up ten minutes ago, ya missed all the fun! 'Cept it wasn't fun. It was nightmarish.

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>>54221427
Did I get it?

Does anyone have any Amasec? I'd appreciate a drink

>>54221498
It's uh, "priest" not "preist"
You'd think cog-boys would have gone to school

>>54221501
AMASEC NO WHERE IS BRIDGE NEED TO FIND COMMISAR EMPEROR ORDERS

>>54221414
>"friend"
>what did he mean by this
>+10 scared
Er, yes honourable Magos. Good bye.

>with that, Rho returns to his workbench
>maybe close his eyes for a second, just let his implants defragment for a bi-
>oh great he snores in his sleep

>>54221501
No amasec, but I have about 3 pots full of recaf, I can cut it with some, uh
>The tech priest looks through the many bottles in his toolbelt
Motor oil I guess.

>>54221492
>he passes him a pain relief drug and helps him to his feet

that's astartes grade, don't take it all at once.

>he wanders off to find the commissar

night guys, see you tomorrow

>>54221542
TAKE WITH YOU ME

>>54221521
Oh. Uh, thanks
>>54221523
Find a set of stairs and keep going up. When you find the room with lots of computers and people with big hats, you're in the bridge.

>>54221538
Motor oil? You tryin' to be funny Cog-boy? All I want is a fucking drink

>>54221567
YES OK HAT PEOPLE I GO BYE BYE WHITE MAN

>>54221595
Get on with the times, trooper, this is the guard. You ain't likely to see any amasec until we are on leave and well.
Good luck with that.

>>54221609
Alright big guy, good luck
>>54221595
What do you mean, motor oil is a drink
>the tech priest takes a sip from the bottle

>>54221632
Jesus christ, you're making it out to be hell. We are on a ship, not Vraks

>>54221647
How did you guess our destination trooper? My, you're a smart one.

>>54221666
Trying to be funny is that it?

>>54221647
Also now that I think about it, who the heck is this Jace Christ dude?

>>54221542
>he's already ingested the whole thing
Don't take it all at what?

>>54221666
You've got to be shitting me. I ain't going there, that place is full of Kriegers! Creepy bastards, the lot a' them.

>>54221666
Just once, can we go somewhere nice?

>>54221695
>>54221696
Chill, men, we ain't going to Vraks. I was trying to lighten up this grim fellow >>54221685
Shame he ain't a fun guy to be around...
>the corporal draws her flamer and carefully uses it to light up a lho
Between me and you, I have no idea where we are going right now, but i hope it has tanks.

>>54221763
You know, I don't have any reasons to be fuckin' happy. I got conscripted into the meatgrinder.

>>54221689
>>54221685
heyo you two! I come back from dinner, and get to see you two here!
If you haven't joined the discord channels I really do suggest you guys do. It'll save a lot of trouble down the road, being able to more easily communicate with eachother!
https://discord.gg/Qeazy

>>54221785
Ah-ah-ah, watch out fellow, i've seen commissars blow up heads for way less than that. "sowing discontent breeds dissension, and dissension is heresy" and all that.

>>54221763
I hope it has a beach

>>54221763
>The Corporal would feel a hand upon her shoulder.
>If she turned around to see whom it was. She would find it to be her favourite person. Commissar Senpai!

There will not be any smoking while you're on duty, Corporal. Am I understood?

>>54221695
CORPORAL VAN KLEEEEZ! FRINT AND CENTER!

>>54221808
>I'd grumble to myself, cursing under my breath
Well, for my conscription card and for reference purposes, I'm damn happy to die in the name of the emperor
I'd grumble again to myself, about how I'm just another pawn

>>54221831
>I'd grumble again to myself, about how I'm just another pawn*

>>54221831
Just smoke your lho sticks and keep it to yerself.

>>54221831
...pawn. Eh. That wasn't that bad of a-
>>54221824
>she spits her lho and burns it down mid-air with a burst of flames
Yes sir, commissar, sir!

>>54221856
...I'm all outta my Iho sticks pal

>>54221880
Suck on the exhaust ports. Trust me, its good.

>Seeing the Commissar approaching I'd spit out my toothpick, straightening myself up for him approaching

>>54221864
> He would flash her a small smile at seeing her do this.

Very good Corporal!

Once Van Klez arrives, I've got some terrific news to spread about.

(But seriously. Please do come and join the discord. It does make things easier to run.

>>54221824
CARPARAL ORDERS WHAT ARE EMPEROR TOLD ME BE HERE I AM WHAT DO I DO WHERE GO

>>54221904
PRONUNCIATE YOUT WORDS, OGRYN! I CAN'T UNDERSTAND A WORD YOU DAMN WELL SAID!

>>54221903
Are we going to the beach. Please say we're going to the beach

>>54221903
V-very well commissar, sir! I await orders, as always!
>>54221948
>she rolls her eyes, knowing that asking it has basically erased any chance of actually going to the beach

>>54221948
A beach? What are you serious? Since when do guardsmen go to beaches?

>>54221864
also, serious question. Does Helga in-fact have a thing for the Commissar?

>>54221939
I TOLD WAS EMPRAH AND HE TOLD MAN WHO TOLD ME EMPRA SAID BE HERE AND I DID AND NOW FIND YOU AND I HAVE WHAT YOU WANT ME DO?

>>54221948
You can go to the beach, when you're dead, Tech-priest! Or the next time I deem a vacation in order! One of the two!

>>54221896
>He would nod his head towards the trooper. Acknowledgeing him.

>>54221963
Very good Corporal!

>>54221964
WHILE AGO BIG ROBOT LOTS OF SANDCASTLES LOUD MUSIC AMASEC

>>54221991
T-thanks... I do my best.
>sigh. No beach.
>>54221966
she might, btu she's also a wreck of a guardswoman. Life in the guard- just play it out.

>>54221991
>Jesus, what a nut-job. Guy totally sucks that Corporals cock. Always the women that get special treatment and not the people who actually work hard

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>>54221971
>The Commissar would let out an audible sigh at this Ogyrns words. Mumbling incoherently.

>"Great.... We couldn't have a Bone 'ead anywhere around here, in order to translate his garbage...."

>He would quickly quickly pull a sheet of papers and a crayon out of his pocket, before handing both do them to the Ogryn.

Why yes, I did need you for something!

I need you to deceipher this enemy code for me!

>>54221964
>>54221992
It wasn't half bad, until tyranids burst out of the sand.
>she shivers to the thought and fidjects with another lho
In hindisght, we should have saw that coming- anthills don't come that high...

>>54222068
>*fidgets

>>54222068
Sometimes I question why women are conscripted into the guard.

>>54222054
IT SAYS...
IT SAYS...
GUN?
NO
AZD
GUN?
I CHOOSE GUN

>>54222034
>Sensing foul thoughts in the area. He would turn his gaze upon the Trooper. Starring him down with his one good eye, and his red bionic eye.
>>54222031
see, that would have been much quicker and easier to as over in the discord.

>He would pat the somewhat broken guardswoman's head. With his one good hand.

>>54222095
Well, I need to to keep working on it, untill you're 1000% sure that's what it say!

>>54222096
>I'd stare the man right in the eye.
>"Guy definitely treats women in the regiment better, that's for sure. He's thirsty"

>>54222094
I have some good reasons.
>her face goes grim
Tanks killed my family. I will have my revenge.
>>54222096
...are we sure there is no beach... tyranids free maybe, in the near future?

>>54222127
You're fuckin' jailbait. You're gonna make the other guys become unfocused

>>54222113
OK I WILL SOLVE CODE AND SAVE UNIVERSE FROM RATLINGS
*staring intensifies*

>>54222161
Guardsman, two words.
First, you might not like it but I outrank you. Second, I've put more holes in armored vechiles than you'll never fill in women.
>>54222162
... damn i shouldn't ask but...
Why ratlings.

>>54222204
That wasn't two words you fuck-head, that was twenty-four words

>>54222113
>he finally manages to limp into line
Frontish and centerish, sir.

>>54222204
Oh no, you asked him a question that can't be answered by yes or no. We'll be here all day now.

>>54222162
Very good, Ogryn! You make sure that you're 1000% sure of that answer to THAT code!

>>54222124
>He would stare down the Trooper. The look in his eyes, is similar to that, of a bear about to attack a toddler.

>>54222127
Unfortunately not. Not anytime soon atleast. We took far too much damage, and the Captain is telling me, we not even make it to a safe world under our own power.

>>54222220
Ah! Very good of you too have finally made it, Van Kleez!

>>54222162
>>54222204
A stout are both likely aware. Our regiment has taken heavy losses rather recently. This of course, being less than two hours ago.

As such, several new positions have recently opened up!

>He would had enough of them an additional rank chevron.

Therefore. I am giving each of you a field promotion to Sergeant. To replace the openings in our ranks.

>>54222243
>I'd roll my eyes, before shaking my head
>Maybe if I close my eyes, fix bayonets and charge the next daemon I see, this will all be over.

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>>54222204
RATLINGS SMALL VERY SMALL SNEAKY. ALWAYS PLOTTIN ALWAYS TRYING TO BE SMALL SO YOU CANT SHOOT AND FIST PUNCH. ONLY RATLING CODE IS TOUGH AS THIS CODE I HAVE. ALMOST SOLVE THOUGH. I AN SMARTER THAN RATLING. RATLING CALLED ME DUL LOOK I SOLVED IT.

>>54222284
>Are you fucking serious? Guy definitely loves sucking that cock. Guy only just fucking met her and already promoted her to sergeant. What an asshole

>>54222299
Uh... well one out of three letters is pretty good I guess

>>54222316
>>54222298
Corporal! Do you wish to say something?

>Wait... Did he just call Bob "Corporal"?

>>54222227
>>54222299
>she looks at the ogrin, then the techpriest, then back and forth as confusion washes all over her face
... riiight. LUD. I'm sure it has a lot of importance.
>>54222284
>she grabs the chevron without flinching
Well, it's the second promotion in a month but if those are the orders I'll take it sir.
>>54222217
Nice retort, guardsemon, you just owned a place in the first wave. If i was you, i'd go practice fixing bayonets.

>>54222348
I don't want your shitty new rank. Giving a conscript the rank of corporal makes you look like a shiity damn Commissar. Give the rank to someone who has more experience than me

>>54222356
NO NO NOT LUD YOU STUPID.
REARVERSE IT IT IS DUL.
D U L.
RATLING CALLED ME DUL BUT KILL THEM WILL I THE EMPEROR HIMSELF ORDERED ME YHES.

>>54222322
You are NOT to assist the Ogryn with his work!

Assisting any Ogryn in this task is punishable on the grounds of aiding and abetting a mutant, as well as being a bad sport!

>>54222402
Yessir, I'll go back to counting the buttons on the navigation consoles and talking to the toasters.

>>54222284
>his eyebrows shoot up in surprise
Huh... well, it's an honour, sir!
>he takes the chevron and mumbles to himself, pride in his voice
Sergeant van Kleez, how 'bout that...

>>54222450
As you SHOULD! The
Such a task, is far more productive, than assisting the Ogryn here with his 'impossible' task!

>>54222388
Ah, sure big guy, I should have totally... gotten it first.
>>54222402
Commissar, in regards of that little stint on the space hulk... some of the trropers claim to have found what looks like a plasma gun in the wreck. I've given it a once over, and it looks functional enough, but between general space hulkiness, ork spores, and mechanical issues I don't know if I should hand it to a cleric, a techpriest, of just dump it in the plasma reactor.

>I'd go to my quarters with my Las-gun and Bayonet
>I'd sharpen my Bayonet as I sat on my bed, along with a picture of my family

>>54222469
Yes, yes. Just don't make me regret this decision, Sergeant!
>>54222484
I would suggest, taking it to the Tech-priests, and seeing if it's poor machine spirit can even be saved. If not. Than throw it into the reactor!

>I'd suddenly shout out in my quarters
There's more sergeants than non-sergeants now
By the Emperor
>I'd go back to sharpening my bayonet

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>>54222474
LOOK COMMUNIST A GLAND
I FOUND GLAND AND MUST DEFEAT RATLINGS FOR EMPEROR. GLAND IS FINAL ANDS WER

>>54222550
Yes sir, as you order sir!
>>54222450
>she grabs for something inside her pack and throws it at the techie
You! Crazy metal man! What do you do about this?
>it looks like... at least 4/5 of a plasma gun, battered and rusted and with a dangerously hand-rigged power cell

>>54222550
>he's already lit up his celebratory mankweed spliff
I'll do ya proud, sir!

>>54222484
Yeah, take it to Rho, he'll sweet-talk it and fondle it a bit, then it'll be good as knew. I don't know how he does it, it's kinda creepy.

>>54222565
>There would be a loud, thunderous banging on the man's door. Followed by a gruff sounding voice.

'eh! Open up the door already!

>>54222618
>I'd get up from my bed, opening the door
Hm?

>>54222591
>Catches the gun and begins poking at it whilst murmuring to himself
Well, it's definitely an Imperial design, or at least it used to be before it got put in a septic tank or wherever you found it. Give me a while to fiddle with it, and I'll see if I can get it in some form of working order.
>He taps the power cell, which vibrates for a few seconds before stopping. The priest holds the gun further away from him.
Uh... I'll get this cell looked at as well.

>>54222665
Space hulk. And careful with that cell, I had to rig it up myself. Just don't strip the duct tape away and it shouldn't leak anything, alright?

>>54222665
WHERR IS GLAND GIVE ME GUN TO FIND RATLING BY NAME A OF GLAND FAN I HAVE PLASMA SHOTGUN CAN I

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>>54222622
>A rather large, gruff ball, with tanned skin, would stand at entrance, easily a head a half taller than him.
>Large plated armour covers most of his body. Like that of a feudal world knight. The red symbol of a medic painted on the right shoulder pad.
>On his back, he would be carrying a rather large pack, overflowing with various equipment.

Good, so I do have a roommate.

>He would barge past the man, and into the room. Before throwing his stuff on the bed.

The name's Adrian. Adrian Uylesses!

>>54222706
Oh, okay.
>I'd go back to sharpening my bayonet after the man came through

Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>54222702
Well if it does leak you're paying for my robes to get cleaned. This is my only one.
>>54222703
Uhh... I don't understand a word you're saying
>The tech priest carefully carries the gun into his quarters and places it onto the workbench, preparing to attempt repairs

>>54222752
Huh... I thought you were going to be, onnah those assholes, who can't handle me getting assigned to live with you.

Also, I call the bed until a new one is sent here.

>>54222779
Trust me, you're gonna hate this regiment. The Commissar recently made half the regiment a sergeant. Offered me the Corporal rank but I declined. I'm just a fuckin' conscript.

>>54222777
I WANT SHOTGUN
ONE WITH PLASMA

>>54222777
>As soon as the gun is placed on the table, it falls apart into several pieces.
+FUCK FUCK FUCK+

>>54222777
nice job blowing yourself up
>>54222598
>>54222591
Once you two have found your squads. Make sure to get me a report on their current conditions. We're still missing serveral hundred men and women.

>>54222777
Cleaned? Ah!
>she takes off her jeacke tto reveal a rather fresh burn on her shoulder, before following the priest
You...sure you know what you are up to there, buddy?
>>54222797
FUCK. Dammit, toasterman, you had one job! That thing was doing just fine...

>>54222796
You'll have to ask the commissar for one of those big guy.

>>54222813
My squad is in suboptimal conditions, sir, but can be deployed! At least we've got almost all of our specialists still up and just acquired a new-
>>54222797
... ehh, just lost the new plasma gun.

>>54222793
>He would pat the far smaller man across the back.
>Far to hard might I add. As he lets out a loud chuckle.

That sounds about right for the Commissar!

And don't worry! I've been here since day one! I know how to keep myself out of trouble, unlike you newbies we recently picked up!

So where you from kid? Hive world? Agri? Feudal? Asteroid colony?

>>54222824
>He leans back over the table, covering it with his robes trying to hide the gun
What? No, it's fine I swear they all do that I can fix it probably

>>54222856
Vraks Prime

>>54222877
Want an hand there?

>>54222886
>He peeks over his shoulder at the small pile of parts
Uh... yeah, that would be great

>>54222845
MAKE ME PLASMA SHOTGUN THE EMPEROR ORDERED ME TO DEFEAT THE RATLINGS YOU HATE THE EMPRAH YOU ARE A HERE TICK

>>54222882
Wasn't askin' the name kid-

>He'd begin dumping a mountain of stuff out of his bag, and onto the bed.

I was askin' fer classification...

>>54222915
The name is all you need to know. The classification is hell.

Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>54222903
Lemme get a shot at it...

>>54222913
Uhh...
>The priest grabs an assortment of scrap metal and hastily fashions it into something vaguely resembling a shotgun
Here ya go

>>54222938
Oh, you fixed it. Maybe you should have this robe huh.

>>54222987
What? Nah, I don't really know anything about machines.
But hell if I know everything about blowing them up...
>she picks the plasma gun and waves it around a bit- the weapon hums quietly, but doens't break into pieces immediately, and the sergeant grins

>>54222955
YHES NOW RATLING GLAND SHALL FEAR THE NAME ROGGA FOR EMPRAH FOR I MUST DEFEAT.
I SHALL INTO VICTORY

>>54222813
Yes, sir! Squad will be, uh, located, sir!

>>54222915
>>54222931
>he hammers on the door
Hey, you boys wanna be in my squad? We got hookers and blow!
Well, we got blow, at least. Hookers can probably be negotiated.

>>54223061
Ain't I already assigned to Sergeant Varlos squad?

>>54223061
Do I have a choice?

>>54223019
>>54222987
And what in the Emperor's name, are you two doing in here, Sergeant Rook?

Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>54223028
*begin rapidly firing plasma shotgun into the ceiling*
FOR EMPRAH

>>54223173
Science stuff and praising the Omnissiah.

>>54223173
ABSOLUTELY not committing tech heresy sir! W- THE TECHPRIEST just finished fixing this gun- w-would you like to have it? I'm sure it would serve you well sir!

>>54223129
...Ah shit. Nevermind then, don't wanna be pinchin' other people's men.

>>54223140
Uh, yeah, I guess so. I'm kinda new to the whole 'NCO' thing, so I'm kinda playing by ear. Although I gotta say, I don't see any blow in Sgt. Rook's squad, so we're clearly the better choice in this situation. Although I guess she could be a hooker...

>>54223173
COMMUNISM I DISCOVERED IT THE RATLING WAS GLAND AND I WAS ME MY SHOTGAN SHALL PEARCE THE HEAVENS CAN KILL RATLINGS NOW?
WHERE ARE?

>>54223204
>>54223196
FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!

>>54223196
Well, not commiting Tech-herwsy next to a Tech-priest, is rather good!

>>54223204
I didn't join the guard for fun and games Sergeant. It doesn't look like you take things seriously

>>54223204
Well, now that I think about it. He was kinda roasted during that whole explosion on deck 7. So I guess I've been assigned to you

>>54223241
Textbook definition of a good job, sir!
The sergeant walks past him, flushed, and lets out a long sigh as she turns the corner and checks if the plasma gun is already overheating
>it isn't. Luckily.
>>54223204
>she pokes him in the back with the plasma gun
You blow, that's the secret, van kleez. Which makes you a hooker as well, ykes.
Is your squad doing this bad?

>>54223256
>he shrugs
Have it your way, man. All I know is if I'm gonna be fighting unspeakable horrors in far-flung corners of the galaxy, I'd rather be outta my head while I'm doing it.

>>54223262
>although his rebreather obscures most of his face, he looks pleased
Welcome to the squad, my man. You're a medicae, right? That means you've got access to prescription medication, right?
I feel like we're gonna get along juuust fine.

>>54223281
Hey, I got... uh, I got one trooper already! And he can keep us alive, so I'd say I'm doing pretty well. What you got, huh?

Ah, speaking of the explosion on deck 7, who would I go to with this list of repairs that needs doing?
>he unravels a long sheet of paper

File: c0ee85f0d08df16762b5a2150a8612e0.jpg (85KB, 564x662px) Image search: [Google]

85KB, 564x662px

>>54223281
>>54223262
>>54223256
>>54223204
>An exhausted look upon the Praetorian's face. Matthias would be walking down the hallway, when he spots the newly promoted NCO's.
>He would rather quickly take notice of the new rank chevrons, and would smile.

I wasn't expecting to see you two rising through the ranks so suddenly.

>He would tilt his head toward Helga, and would falsh her a smirk.

Have you told the Commissar, you want to feel his Thunder hammer, inside of you?

>>54223354
CAN HELP LET ME I WILL SCOUR CRANNY NOOK FOR HIDDEN RAT
WILL HELP FOR INTELLI

>>54223348
The only way you're getting anything out of me, us if you take a bullet to the gut.

With all do respect, Sergeant!

>>54223372
I'm not a Corporal. I'm a conscript sir. Giving me the position of Corporal was a bad decision. I declined the rank.

>>54223348
Shameful.
>I'd make my way to the ships cargo hold in order to practice my combat skills
>I'd set up a few sand bags to resemble a man
>I'd charge into the sandbag with my bayonet, piercing it's torso
>I'd do this a few times over

>>54223372
I ALSO HAVE BECIOME PROMOTE FOR MY SMARTS

>>54223348
Myself, two regular troopers, two specialists and a slightly bruised demolition expert. My squad is still at peak tank-exploding capacity, at least so everything is fine.
>>54223372
A-apparently. And uhm, it feels like that would hurt a lot.

>>54223382
Actually there is, uh... something, in the ventilation system, maybe you could try and find out what it is?

>>54223438
>The Praetorian would let out a sigh.

Ok... Let me put it this way...

Have you told the Commissar, that you like him, and want to be Ina relationship with him?

>>54223426
Uhhhh... Yea, sure...

>>54223403
...ok? I wasn't exactly asking him about anything...

>>54223449
*thrusts head directly through the vent*
LOOKS LIKE A CANON CHARACTER CAN I SHOOT ITS NOT RATLING GLAND WHERE IS IT WHY IS FOOL GRUM HERE

>>54223474
What?

>>54223496
>>54223474
>Wrong name, fuck my ass.

>>54223480
What? Uh, sure
>He shouts over his shoulder down the corridor
Can we please find somebody who can understand what he's saying?

>>54223474
...captain, I request permission to speak freely.

>>54223522
> He would nod his head.

Of course, Sergeant. Go ahead.

>>54223372
>he looks slightly sheepish
With all due respect to our *cough* learned Commissar, neither was I, sir.

>>54223403
Yeah, p-probably. Although where I come from, the greater shame would probably be in being sober, so we'll chalk it up ta' cultural differences, eh?

>>54223438
Yeah, but uh, uh... man, fuck you Helga.

>>54223474
Eesh, let the poor girl alone, huh? She's just a simple tankbuster, her poor mind can't take this 'relationship' business.
>he smirks under his mask

>After finishing charge techniques, I'd begin doing press-ups and chin-ups, then pull-ups on a rail
>>54223540
Whatever.

>>54223519
ME ME I UNDERWTAND WHAT I IS SAYIN PICK MEH

>>54223540
I find that a little bit of teasing, and a good chat, can go a long way to raising morale amongst the troops.

And if that means asking for Sergeant Rook here, a answer to an embarrassing question, that I already know the answer to. Than so be it.

>>54223540
Oh fuck you too SARGE.
>>54223533
Let's be fucking honest here, we just got reduced to ten percent of fighting strenght, which means we are all getting near the up end of the dying probability chart. We are fucking guards, the astra militarum, the many, the expendables, and all that crap. I am fully expecting that we all die in a ditch and to be honest, I am coming to like the perspective! The only thing I care about is that when I go, I'll make sure to leave the biggest smoldering crater behind me and the last thing I need is for the man in this regiment that is supposed to keep us in line to have to face the moral dilemma of shooting or not shooting me in the head when the time comes or cry about it afterwards! Have I been clear?

>>54223586
>he sighs, then looks up at the ogryn
Alright, I pick you.

>>54223622
>He would raise a brow to this.

Understood Sergeant.

>>54223673
ROGG WAS SAYIN THAT UP UP UP IN THE VENTS IS A CANON CHARACTER
E WAS ALL SHIFTY LOIK
DIDDA DO A GUD JOB?

>>54223778
In short, it would be... distracting. For both of us. Now I've gotta fix this thing before it melts us all...
>she raises the salvaged plasma gun, thich is hissing ominously
Sir.

>I'd now engage in target practise, using tin cans as targets
>I'd miss the first few times, but I gradually got better as time went on
>I'd throw the can in the air to represent a moving target
>I'd fire off my las-gun at it, eventually hitting it
>Wiping the sweat from my forehead, I'd return to the commons area, where everyone was conversing
>I'd seat myself at a free table, and got a cup of water
>I'd read through the guardsman manual thoroughly

>>54223839
>He'd watch the man with a curious look.

>"Seems that someone is trying to work towards that promotion."

>>54223832
Undeestood Sergeant. But I'd suggest you try to not make it so obvious next time your bright red, after starring at the Commissar for half an hour.

>>54223782
Yeah, great. Hit it with a stick, I'm going to go organize my collection of funny shaped gears.
>The tech priest walks into his quarters and pulls a large box from under his bed, then begins taking gears from it, writing details on a sheet of parchment with his quill.

>>54223883
>I'd look up to the Captain
Sorry to disturb Captain Sir, but I was wondering if any repairs were needed on the ship that I could help with?

>>54224176
>The man would shake his head.

Leave the tech work, to the Tech-priests Trooper. It's what they know best.

>>54224298
Got it sir.

Well, considering we got a hole blown in the ship and some of us are still breathing, I'd say today's been a success.
>he settles back in a chair and shuts his eyes, a sigh hissing from his respirator
Wake me when we get there.