Thread replies: 20
Thread images: 6
Thread images: 6
Anonymous
That Guy makes his character backstory 2017-07-07 10:52:04 Post No. 54206862
[Report] Image search: [Google]
That Guy makes his character backstory 2017-07-07 10:52:04 Post No. 54206862
[Report] Image search: [Google]
File: Photos-012.jpg (98KB, 1000x564px) Image search:
[Google]
98KB, 1000x564px
Shalom, clowndicks. My group's resident That Guy was recently forced to make a character backstory, as all of his characters are usually blatantly lobotomized in some way. This is what he fucking came up with. Keep in mind his character is a lawful good ninja gorilla:
From an early age, Soma Chakun, seventh son of the seventh son of an incredibly promiscuous gorilla, was violently beaten and stuffed into a box whenever he went outside.
This festered into a boiling rage, leading Soma Chakun to drown his entire family in feces and water from the local sewer as they slept. Every day he would capture smaller gorillas and push sticks through them, removing all the hair and selling them as snacks at the local bazaar.
Soma learned to fish with the dead bodies of his family at a young age, something that would later help him in politics. Entering grade school at age 4, Soma Chakun was responsible for a great many school pranks, including putting bananas inside the school’s pet gorilla, and flooding the school hall with the sewer system, killing a half dozen gorillas with fecal diseases.
When Soma Chakun was finally 6 he abandoned his school life and acquired property on the local banana farm. Kidnapping a wife and kids, he happily lived life as a banana farmer until he was arrested and sent to banana prison for thirty two accounts of murder and three accounts of kidnapping.
>>
There, in high security gorilla prison, Soma Chakun finally learned the value of life when he stabbed his cellmate to death with a banana, and was sentenced to death by overconsumption of bananas, and ironic end to Soma Chakun, or so he thought.
At the day of his trial, Soma Chakun viciously mauled the clergyman meant to make his final moments peaceful, and broke out of jail.
By smiling and looking like every other gorilla in the world, he was able to evade authority and flee the island with the corpse of a ferryman.
Paddling with all of his might, Soma finally arrived at the other side of this massive body of water, and celebrated by beating his chest until he fell comatose.
When Soma Chakun awoke he was surrounded by human children, which he decided promptly not to eat. From these human children he learned the meaning of love and compassion for the entire three hours he was with them, before he promptly decided to eat them.
There, from the crunching of undeveloped bones he realized his true calling in life; Soma Chakun then attempted to swim back over the body of water, drowning instantly. There in his watery grave he was hauled out by a fishing boat.
The fishergorilla violently administered cpr, which Soma reacted to by biting his face off. Returning to gorilla society, he acquired a law degree and sentenced many innocent gorillas to death by overconsumption of bananas.
Years later, as he grew bored of watching gorillas puke up bananas, he wandered into the Hidden Banana School and promptly stole three hundred bananas worth of ninja spells. Memorizing all of them while dressing like a trash bag, Soma than vowed to take on the gorilla ninja oath to sneak and spy very stealthily for their own gain.
Thus begins our hero’s adventure as he travels across the sea again to the great unknown.
>>
Sounds like a great backstory op, you just hate fun
>>
This is hilarious
>>
>>54206862
I think you are the *that guy* and he is just taking the fucking piss
>>
File: the fuck.jpg (38KB, 240x198px) Image search:
[Google]
38KB, 240x198px
>>54206862
>>
>>54206862
>>54206881
Eh, I'd give it a 4 out of 10. Pretty original and consistent, though I would make him change to LE or atleast LN since at one time he was a lawyer.
>>
File: Ugly-Black-Guy-Meme-Face-01.jpg (35KB, 320x332px) Image search:
[Google]
35KB, 320x332px
>>54207112
His previous characters were Tylenol "the sentient black person" (pic related) and Hibby Dickeyes, the wheelchair gnome "with dicks for eyes"
>>
>>54207246
Why does he have a spot at your table?
>>
>>54207280
This dude is actually our best DM when he wants to be; all of his campaigns are super creative and highly enjoyable for everyone involved.
He also has a bad habit of going full chaotic retarded whenever he's a player, always gathering corpses to rape for later or having his characters sleep in soiled chamberpots.
>>
>>54207237
Nah, this is a pretty clear case of CE, even if he was a lawyer.
>>
>>54206862
I definitely wouldn't run a serious game with this character, but for a silly and morbid game this character sounds like a perfect fit.
>>
>>54207456
This
Having too much imagination is always better thanks never interacting, think about the yellow dragon green
>>
File: 1497449342849.jpg (107KB, 794x794px) Image search:
[Google]
107KB, 794x794px
I laughed until my stomach hurt. Thanks OP.
>>
>>54206862
>lawful good
This is the only part I have trouble believing
>>
>>54206862
>>54206881
Ugh. It's like the "Call me teh Penguin of Doom! *holds up *spork*" copypasta collided with "The Vagina Anus of Lucifer Niggerbastard".
>>
>>54207112
Fucking this!
This is hilarious and I would kill for a player with this level of creativity
>>
File: IMG_0281.jpg (37KB, 552x594px) Image search:
[Google]
37KB, 552x594px
>>54206862
>>54206881
>>
>>54209463
If I were to say something clever it would likely be "Soma follows his own Laws, and everything done is Good for Soma."
Anyway, this thread requires my absence. Carry on, good sirs.
Oh, and OP is probably the one who came up with the backstory because Contrarian Posting often sells ideas like these that would seem absolutely retarded otherwise. Doesn't make it any less good though.
Thread posts: 20
Thread images: 6
Thread images: 6