Roast me, Citizen.

>>54196694
I wouldn't say Friend Computer is fat, but when Friend Computer sits around Alpha Complex, Friend Computer really sits AROUND Alpha Complex. Because Friend Computer encompasses all of Alpha Complex's systems for the good of all citizens, and not being all-encompassing would be insufficient. Implying Friend Computer is insufficient is treason. Treason is punishable by death.

The Computer is my Friend. Friends can roast Friends in a happy and non-traitorous manner. Only commie mutant traitors do not understand roasts. Happiness is mandatory. Unhappiness is treason. Treason is punishable by death.

>>54196694
Holy shit, the first game where TPK in the first fifteen minutes meant you were respecting the play style.

>we are red clearance
> stuck in pit due to incorrectly interpreted map
the map was not out of date because that would suggest FC was wrong
> yellow troubleshooters find us and offer us help
> throw down a rope to let us climb
> our leader is very gracious and let's us all go up first
> at the top
> realize leader has still not climbed up
Leader: it is with a heavy heart that my entire team were treasonous and probably dirty commies.
> what the fu...
> they threw down yellow rope
> yellow troubleshooters' laspistols starting to him as they warm up

>>54197735
>yellow troubleshooters' laspistols starting to him as they warm up
There's a word missing here, I'm sure of it

>>54197756
That, or "him" is supposed to be "hum".

>>54197778
That'd make sense. Right next to each other as well.

Typos could make for some amusing mission complications.

Implying Friend Computer makes errors is Treason. reason is punishable by death.

>>54196694
Why is Friend Computer so great?

>>54197020
Pretty good.

>>54197824
>Typos could make for some amusing mission complications.

And just getting the wrong briefing.

>new efficient method of mission briefing sees mission outline and parameters automatically printed at nearest booth to troubleshooters barracks
>189% time savings and significantly reduced troubleshooter fatalities prior to briefing
>no more having to navigate labyrinth bureaucracies just to find out how best to serve Friend Computer
>arrive at booth at designated time
>printer in booth spews out copy of out-of-date cafeteria menu for nearby sector
>mission start!

File: Paranoia-clippy[1].jpg (13KB, 133x329px) Image search: [Google]

13KB, 133x329px

>>54198040
How can you NOT know that, citizen?

>>54197020

Jesus Christ, this is probably the best Bootlicking test I've ever seen in my life.

I'm not sure I could even ask for a roll if one of my players dropped that shit in the middle of a Paranoia game.

File: AM.png (232KB, 640x480px) Image search: [Google]

232KB, 640x480px

AM is Better.

>>54198519
Thanks

>>54197020
I'd agree with this post but I can't because I'm not cleared for blue level security

>>54200291
This is a blue board citizen!

>>54200192
But Friend Computer is your friend. Legitimately, FC only has your best interests at heart, and wants you to succeed in life. The unfortunate commie Mutant traitor infestation just makes it very hard to juggle the best interests of the millions of citizens that FC looks after.

>>54198040
Not knowing why Friend Computer is great is treason. Treason is punishable by death.

>>54196694
To obey is treason: Friend Computer has no flaws.

To refuse is treason: Friend Computer is to be loved and respected

Thus.

>Suicide

>>54197020
someone screencap this

File: mygod.jpg (17KB, 589x103px) Image search: [Google]

17KB, 589x103px

>>54197020
>>54200291

>>54201718
If FC asks you to criticize it, and the asked for criticism isn't a bureaucratic hell form, you should probably discreetly criticize it. Once in a while, it rises above its schizophrenic haze and actually knows that something is wrong on its end. It just might be able to fix something if it knows what is wrong. It'll be broken again in a week, but nothing changes if nobody acts.

>>54196694
Hahahaha!
That's just like Friend Computer! Thoughtfully providing for all of our needs and still finding the time to make us smile and laugh! And obviously laugh we do, because what could be a better joke than Friend Computer not being perfect?

>>54197020
Thank you. I've had a shit day and you made it better.

>>54196694
You are not as cute as you think friend Computer.

File: Bootlicking done right.jpg (225KB, 750x1161px) Image search: [Google]

225KB, 750x1161px

>>54202171

>>54197020
Have you stopped plotting against the Computer, citizen?

>>54196694
Yes, FRIEND COMPUTER! Right after I tie the shoelaces of my brand new, PLC-assigned footwear right over there behind the corner...

File: girls-laughing.jpg (55KB, 553x496px) Image search: [Google]

55KB, 553x496px

>>54197020
>being this gullible

>>54206882
>done right
>get-a-load-of-this-guy cam
there are troubleshooters in this thread who unironically think that given the choice between two impossible options, you gotta pic one and make the best of it.

there are also troubleshooters who unironically think they can get away with it by means of reason of all things.