Smarmy Fuck Dragons

It's all about time, anon. Dragon's live for a fuck long time, and as such they spend a lot of their time observing the world, seeing how it works, ect. Plus, their brains are just constantly expanding, taking in information naturally in a way mortals cannot. Sure they might be fucking robots in their early years, they mostly just eat dudes and steal shit during that time, but once they've got some age on them, they figure all that shit out.

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How many do you suppose got a jump start, by being someone's familiar for a while?

I like to imagine clever dragons, which according to 3.5 mechanics, my bible, naturally all gain sorcery casting abilities, can spend all their spells a day in their downtime divining random people, librarians, dignitaries. They're more than capable of defending themselves without them, and their lairs are so secluded, confrontation is rarely on the agenda. They have money to hire scouts and book thieves. Some prefer investment and start banks, endorse chariot races, all in a polymorphic guise.

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>>54176043
That's a pretty neat idea. Plus, if they start their familiar-ness as a hatchling, it could explain why so many dragons spend their time away from civilization, surrounded by expensive shit, being all haughty about everything. That's what they learned from their wizard.
I'd like to imagine that dragons who start out as party mascots are generally more amicable towards civilization. After all, a town just like this one gave her party neat quests. This tavern, still standing after a hundred years, often gave her leftover scraps of meat. This library reminds her of where she was taught to read.

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>>54175486
>implying you earn stats
>implying stats aren't 100% genetic

>>54175486

Check it

Young dragons aren't like that. They're brash, arrogant, and probably mean. They aren't wise. They'll always have a certain amount of presence do to the supreme confidence of being at the top of almost every food chain, which helps their Charisma score, but they're not "suave". I imagine young dragons to be the ones stealing livestock and raiding caravans.

Then he gets a little older, he becomes tempered a bit. He learns that instead of stealing livestock, you steal princesses--its effort-to-return ratio is much better. Hell, maybe you even talk with them while holding them hostage, learn a thing or two. Speaking of hostage, this is the kind of dragon that will hold a town hostage and extract tribute. That requires a certain amount of interaction with the locals (more than stealing their cows does, certainly), which contributes to the Cha rating, and it also shows a certain amount of Wisdom.

Eventually they get to the point where they realize being "The dragon in the cave we have to send maidens to" is more trouble than it's worth. They've been dealing with humans for centuries at this point. They know how to wheel and deal. They can almost certainly shape-shift. They've seen plot after plot and have a pretty firm grasp of cause and effect on dragon-related topics. They're charismatic. They're wise. And they usually disappear.

This is where you get the "What? The king's advisor was a DRAGON?" kind of dragon, the "NPC quest giver who was a dragon all along" kind of dragon, or the "Living in seclusion in the highest peak of the highest mountain range but pulling the string through more earthly agents" kind of dragon. The kind that are wise enough to know that controlling people is easier than eating them and charismatic enough to make it work.

That's why dragons are brilliant, wise, and charismatic.

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>>54176468
Pseudodragon crafters, kobold bookbinders, or humans with business sense.

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>>54175486
>they should be greasy scaled, pale, cave-dwelling fedora tippers.
>implying some aren't.

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>>54176468
There have been plenty of huge books in history.

>>54179531
wasn't there a large number of these hoard drawings out there?
I vaguely remember seeing more of these...

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>>54182682
Yeah, they're all by tumblr user IguanaMouth.
This one in particular tends to get people's panties in a twist.

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>>54178626
>ancient dragon sometimes likes to accompany new adventurers while disguised as a familiar
>partly to keep an eye on events in the human world, but mostly out of nostalgia

Cute dragons

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>>54179531
This.
>>54185838
I love these.

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>>54189025
>a wyrm cup of coffee

>>54188354
>the party notices how unharmed their adorable "mascot" is
>when they question her, she claims she's just lucky
>and, in fact, shots and swings seem to fall just shy of her scales
>none of them are nearly high-level enough to notice subtle magical interference
>arrows are telekinesis'd, heavy weapons are predicted and casually moved away from, magic is just slightly mind-controlled to point barely away from her
>it takes a lot of skill and effort to be so lucky
>but the pretty druid has taken to hugging for her good luck
>and she wears soft clothes
>and her pet- er, "companion Wizard" has managed to find just the right spot under her jaw
>...plus, it's just really fun to see her enemies get increasingly frustrated at their failures
>so it's all worth it

>>54179531
That dragon is going to get greasy, greasy diabetes.

>>54191094
He's got a fast metabolism, and/or is a hammerspace dragon.
He'll be fine.

>>54179314
Reminds me of the Iron Bank from GOT

>>54185838
>tumblr memes
Most of these didn't originate from tumblr at all

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>>54176468
Well done, mate

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>>54193170
And there it is.
IIRC, IguanaMouth was asked to do one on "tumblr memes," and it's much easier to interpret it as "memes tumblr has used" than try to figure out how to draw
>me, shoving breadsticks into my purse: i'm sorry i have to go
>dashcon
>no note bungus
>putting on hats makes you a stereotype of the type of person wearing the hat (fedora results in "m'lady, I'm a gent[le]man atheist", army helmet results in a Vietnam flashback, etc)
>"I like your shoelaces." "Thanks, I stole them from the president."
>mistaking a horse dildo for an african child's arm
Tumblr-originated memes are usually text-based, which don't translate well to images.

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>>54193296
>Dis 'ere dragon reeks of furry

>>54193347
It's not only your average furry, but vore furry.

I... uh... heard.

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>>54193404
It's okay, anon, you can justify that it's the cutest damn vore dragon ever.
Look at that face. That's the face of a dragon who deserves all the tummyrubs. And fish.

>>54193431
>>54193347
>it's vore
Duh.

If vorefags telegraphed their designs any harder, it would get picked up on local broadcasts on fucking Mars.

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>>54193556
Game Freak does the same thing; it's weird that there are still people who don't think TPC puts fetishes in the pokemon.
It's *blatantly* obvious, almost as much as furfags.

>>54175486
Well if you ask me it's because dragons are completely different than humans. People can't understand them like they can understand us, and when I'm done with my pdf that will explain everything /tg/ related you can always use that to fall back on.

>>54193296
>nose dipped in shit
>hair
>clearly designed for smut
>"no adult art allowed"
Fucking furfags.

By the way, that's a bat, not a dragon. Dragons do not have hair.

>>54193431
>upper maw bent and pointed upwards while eyes still pointing forwards
WHAT IS ANATOMY?

You shouldn't be allowed to draw furry smut fetish shit unless you've spent at least four years killing and butchering animals and fish so you have an understanding of what the fuck this shit is supposed to look like.

>>54175486
Dragons in my setting aren't wise at all, they're disgusting, slimy personifications of all that is wrong with humanity wrapped in a package more powerful than any mortal could ever hope of being. Their personalities are defined by which of the sins they carry in the greatest abundance, though they're prone to all of them. Dragons are torturers, rapists, man-eaters, and hoarders of wealth. They have neither the morality nor the weakness to prevent them from taking whatever they want from the world, making them a blight on it. They have a natural competency at basically anything they try, and the time to try anything they care to, so any dragon that bothers speaking with mortals will be an excellent liar and manipulator. A dragon may feign wisdom, but it's a rare freak indeed that has any inclination at all towards introspection or the pursuit of knowledge.

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>>54193974
>By the way, that's a bat, not a dragon. Dragons do not have hair.
Explain this.

>>54194059
That's not a dragon. It's some sort of goat-dog chimera.
>d-depends on setting!
Fuck outta here with your bullshit. Dragons don't have hair and you know it.

>>54194059
That's a dog you wall-eyed cyclops

>>54194059
>spermdog
>anon actually thinks this is a dragon
Cmon son.

>>54193296
>>54193347
>>54193974
>>54194000

>Implying there is even a single thing wrong with 'furry' dragons

Well, this is another dragon thread down the shitter.
Someone post a vore prompt so we can get a royal flush of idiocy.

>>54193653
What fetishes are those? I haven't played pokemon in awhile.

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>>54194184
This is a furry dragon. He likes apples. There is nothing wrong with him.

>>54193296
>>54193431
This is a 'furry' dragon. This exists solely for deranged man-children to rub their dicks to. This is wrong.

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>>54194284
>Salazzle
Obviously furry bait, femdom/reverse harem, hypnosis (pheromones). Salazzles are legitimately 100% female and are lewd pokemonified.
>Incineroar
Bara
>Braixen and Delphox
Furry bait.
>Goodra
It just kind of FEELS fetishy. There's gotta be a slime fetish or something.

>>54194292
The 'furry' dragon looks much better than the abomination claiming to be "Pete's Dragon."
>hurr let's make a good-looking animated dragon look like a retarded dog
>durr this is because normalfags will boycott something if it has a non-evil reptile
>gahurr scaly things are to be hated with a passion
Pic related, a far superior Pete's Dragon.

>>54194387
I noticed you skipped the part about mentally stunted manboys twinking their winkies to cartoon animals that eat things.

Also, not even that Anon, but those pokemen examples sure are stretching.
Except goodra. That's definitely someone's fetish.

>>54194387
>ogre jawline
>hair

That is not a dragon.

I have to wonder, what about the dragons that take a liking to fighting with the natural weapons that they were born with? Are they scorned for enjoying the thrill of melee battle?

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>>54194540
I still don't understand how the largest dragons just don't win by melee attacking. People compare it to fighting hands with your hands, but being hit by an entire building sized fist would definitely kill people. We're not built like ants.

>>54194589
I'm a drunken stupid faggot baby. I meant ants with your hands, not hands with your hands. Fuck me right in the mouth, I'm retarded.

>>54193431
WHY ONLY *TWO* MOLARS

>>54194540
I had a goddamn dwarf win a grapple against a dragon and proceed to wrestle it into submission using stupid insane number stacking nonsense. Then the dwarf challenged the dragon to a drinking contest and the dice gods shined on the dwarf, leading to a colossal victory.

Then the dwarf slit the dragon's belly open and began to drink from it, claiming the dragon to be unworthy of consuming dwarven ale as it was too strong for him.

>>54175486
>As a young dragon there's no way they can collect books or steal them in enough quantity to actually feed their curiosity.
I beg your pardon? Says who?

>>54194074
Go look at medieval or romance era dragons and bathe in some humble pie.

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>>54194730
>Beat dragon into submission
>Drank dragon into submission
>kills it afterwards

My heart breaks for the epic bromance that could have been...

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ITT: Post dragons that don't suck.

>>54195652
holy fuck i remember this from when i was a goddamn kindergartner

>>54189709
>the party stumbles into a confrontation with a high level wizard
>he looks at the little dragon perched on their wizard's shoulder
>immediately activates his emergency teleport

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>>54194459
Not that guy, but Salazzle is the lewdest Pokemon to exist. Hell, these are the pokedex entries:
>For some reason, only females have been found. It creates a reverse harem of male Salandit that it lives with.
>Filled with pheromones, its poisonous gas can be diluted to use in the production of luscious perfumes.
It's a 100% female, bipedal lizard grill who has a literal harem of younger males whom she controls with strong pheromones.
And it's pre-evolved form, Salandit, has this to say from the official website (http://www.pokemon-sunmoon.com/en-us/pokemon/salandit/):
>Salandit females not only release toxic gases, they can also emit pheromones that attract males of all species, including Pokémon and humans.
Salazzle is sixteen hundred percent lewd.

>>54197440
That would be terrifying. You're dealing with a couple weak idiots who seem to think they're able to stop your intricate, well-planned plot to achieve immense power.
Then another dumpy guy walks in wearing hand-me-down robes and a barely-magical staff. But your Mage Sight can't seem to tear itself away from the little reptile perched on said dumpy guy's shoulder.
It's preparing and/or casting nearly a dozen spells, and you swear the spell levels on each are equal to your actual level.
It grins at you.

>>54195652
I'm tempted to look up pictures of Tartii Drake to stir up shit, but instead have a Temeraire. Temeraire is a very good dragon.

>>54197440
This could be part of the actual plot of a campaign. Maybe there's an evil dragon on the big bad or anti-party wizard's shoulder, and him and Shoulderifex are playing a game of mortals to see who's better at manipulating them from this very specific position.

>>54201218
>the dragons have a casual conversation in draconic while there's a fierce battle raging on around them
>because of their forced inflections, everyone thinks there's just two adorable little dragons trying to intimidate the other side with fierce roaring

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>>54195652

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>>54195652

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>>54195652

>>54204725
That's adorable

>>54193296
>Drake
>4 legs.

Nigga please

>>54204852
Do you go up to people named Smith and ask if they know how to make a sword?

>>54204883
No. But that's name. Not a species you cock womble.

>>54204949
>Tartii Drake
>western dragon/drakii
It looks like Drake's her name.

>>54204972
That's even more retarded.

> Hi I'm Mr Gorilla, the human.

>>54194387
Don't forget Lopunny. They knew exactly what they were doing.

>>54205013
Thai: Ling
Spanish: Chong

>>54193296
I think the problem I have with this one is that the face is too square. It changes it from looking like a female to looking like a very girly male.

>>54194292
>furry dragon
>fagon
Hmmm...

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>>54179314

I THOUGHT MY IDEA OF A DRAGON BANKER WAS ORIGINAL GOD FUCKING DAMMIT

>>54175486
I don't have to explain it since dragons in my campaign are ancient organic warmachines created ages ago by the lords of the Old Realm.

Outside warfare and violence they're barely sentient. Within their field, however, they possess millenia of experience and bred talent.

Now they patrol long-gone borders and sites of an empire virtually forgotten by all.

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>>54195652

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>>54195652
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x6fX4wWR58Y

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>>54195652

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>>54205518
MAKE IT ORIGINAL AND POST IT AND DO A REALLY GOOD JOB

Also, at least it shows you're thinking good thoughts.

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this thread reeks of sexual degeneracy

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>>54207570

>>54194038
So Fafnir and Nidhoggr then.

>>54207972
Yes, exactly.

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>>54207594
>>>>>kinda
I very much want to fuck dragons. I'd be bi for dragons though doubt I'd bottom.

>>54193431
>>54193296
The artist of this dragon recently retired her. Dakota's now her go-to character for everything.
Which is a shame; Tartiidrake is MUCH cuter than Dakota.

>>54205518
It's not. I like having dragons running competing banks, and sniping at each other the entire time. It's even funnier if they have no control over minted currencies.

>>54207294
Fuck this asshole. Fuck him right in his lumbering shitty flabby neck. Carve a new hole if you must.

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>>54211191
>Fuck this asshole. Fuck him right in his lumbering shitty flabby neck. Carve a new hole if you must.
He brought friends.

>>54211225
Meh. Gog is legit. Khezu is a bitchy little chore that will not shut up.

>>54188354
>>54189709
>dragons live for-fucking-ever
>all those mortals the dragon traveled with will die, whether to the sword or to old age
>after a time, they'll all start to blend together in the dragon's memory

>>54211609
>dragon's aren't holding princesses for ransom because they're dicks
>they just have suddenly remembered the king owes them 50$, plus inflation, and don't realize that kingdom was overthrown 300 years ago

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>>54213215
"I don't CARE if your great grandfather overthrew the dynasty. That's not my problem. If I didn't hold you responsible, what kind of banker would I be? Now pay up, or I swear, I'll arrange an unfavorable diplomatic marriage for the princess."

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>>54193347
>get commissioned to make an image of Dragon Slaying
>"Should I base it off the Dragons Merlin divined as a child?
>Or the dragon of Somerset, that could encircle a hill
>Or maybe Blue Ben
>perhaps even something particularly pagan like Nidhogg, or Fafnir
>maybe even Zmey Gorynych, if we want to get exotic.
>...
>nah, I've got a perfect model right here"

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>>54213215
>"Look, I was VERY generous with a 5% rate. Now, your kingdom owes me roughly $150 million, so I'll keep her as collateral and look for more - something tells me you'd rather have $150 million than a daughter."

>>54179314
This was a good post

>>54204821
It's a dragon that makes soup for aliens.

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>>54213215

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>>54194292
>>54194387
This still annoys me

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>>54216151

>>54188586
>Instead of using spells or his flame like a normal dragon, he throws the larger dice at them.
>Also, most of his traps are made out of d4s.

>>54215579
What about a hoard of hordes or a horde of hoards?

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>>54216765
>"We explore pink, but in this more photo-real terrain, certain things don't work"

yes..because pink on an imaginary, giant, furry, green dragon would be "unrealistic"

>>54217298
sorry I meant to type in a way that said "They're too lazy to make it work"

>>54176195
>I like to imagine clever dragons, which according to 3.5 mechanics, my bible, naturally all gain sorcery casting abilities, can spend all their spells a day in their downtime divining random people, librarians, dignitaries.
That was canonically how a lot of dragons act in AD&D.

>>54205190
Girly looking males are the default when it comes to furries

>>54213550
That dragon slaying image really aught to be the sticky.

>>54175486
Genetic memory heritage.

>>54218894
Tartii's female, though.