itt: worst table top experience

>>54130183
I joined a campaign.

d&d

no bad experiences with friends :^)

>>54130183

New GM ran an adventure time themed one shot, railroaded heavily and when we politely brought it up with him afterwards he took it as a personal attack.

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GM raped me to prove a point to his other players.

>>54130183

When I realized that my players just wanted to muderhobo, and only murderhobo.

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>>54131353
Why?

Seriously, what did they think was to be gained?

Are they retarded?

I have so many questions.

>>54130183
When I ran a Call of Cthulhu adventure and forgot to put cthulhu stuff in it

>started VtM
>narrator's gf join
>she was kinda a prototype of the nerd girl trend
>reads through the clans superficially
>makes a tremere
>names him Gandalf
>the table cringes
>narrator asks her why the name
>"dunno, they're kinda wizards right?"
>three sessions of shit like that without the narrator wanting to punish her mistakes "because she's just learning"
>everyone drops

When you have amazing campaign going but it goes on 2 month hiatus becauae scheduling issues

>>54131353
you or your character? Thats important distinction

>>54132580

>started VtM

You fucked up kiddo, now reap the whirlwind

>>54132582

Me, not my character. One of the other players kept arguing with the GM over rules, and finally the GM broke down and started yelling that he was the GM, he was in charge and he could do whatever he wanted. "I could even rape Anon!" he yelled. One of the other players told him he certainly could not, so he grabbed me and started raping me right there on the table while he fought the other players off with a bottle of cheap whiskey. He was very rough, and kept shouting "rule zero you fucking slut" the entire time.

No one argues with him about rules any more at least, so we get more done in each session which is nice.

>>54132588
God forbid people play stuff you don't like.

>>54132612
xD

>>54132612
Great story. Could have used a vampire, though.

>>54131478
This.

Except they also wanted NPCs to metaphorically suck their dick.

>>54132743

It wasn't about Catan, so no vampires.

>>54132616
Naw, he's got a point.
I played VtM once.
Now I attend Mind's Eye Theater and my gf gained 300 pounds. I own leather pants for god's sake.
Just stick to Bloodlines kids.

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>>54132786
leather pants

>>54132580
Did she at least play a "sneaky tremere"?

First game I ever played in.

GM raped my character with his Mary Sue half-elf dual-wielding DMPC. (everybody but me thought this was hilarious)
Then killed my character without any rolls via goblin club to the back of the head while on watch for the night then being tossed into a pit (naked) and killed (again without any rolls) via a single swipe of a giant weasel claws to the throat. (again, everybody else thought this was hilarious)
Character was a 15th level ranger (I had joined a pre-existing game, obviously).

I mean, if they didn't want a twelve year old joining their game at the university, they genuinely could have just told me no. I didn't just show up and demand to play, I answered the ad for new players and worked out my player/got briefed on the campaign setting with the DM a week in advance and everything. I was polite, respectful, friendly, and quiet and brought snacks for everybody, too.

On the other hand, I guess it was an effective lesson on what to expect in the future within this hobby of ours, so horror stories I've heard in the decades since never really shocked me much.

>>54133521
So you were 12, and your GM felt it was proper to rape your character, and kill it twice?

The fuck is that shit?

>>54130183
I didn't kill the jester

>>54133665
Oh no, he only knocked my PC out via one goblin-club-hit (while wearing a helmet), then dragged them back to the goblin camp. Said PC didn't actually die until the giant weasel claws swipe.

So it wasn't as bad as it seemed.

>>54133815
Still seems pretty fuckin' bad from my perspective.

>>54133833
Haha, well, yeah, it was pretty bad. Could've been worse, obviously, but I might not have stubbornly stuck with the hobby if so.

>>54132529
I mean, pulp noir is pretty cool

>>54133769
always kill jester

Went to a DnD night at a local comic store, character falls unconcious in a hole.
The owner who was playing, jokes about fucking my characters mouth.
A drunk lady then comes in and heckles everyone and all of them sperg out and do nothing about it.
I was only 14 and I never went back.

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>>54130183
>decide to join a 5e game my college roommate is hosting
>other players are both his friends
>a bit weird being the odd one out but w/e, I can deal
>character creation rolls around
>decide light domain cleric, dragonborn because hey the breath weapon is cool
>can't remember the other guy
>That Guy rolls a transgender elf barbarian and takes a panflute as a starting item
>never shuts up about the fact that they're trans
>ever
>never ever
>basically beats the entire party over the head with this joke whenever possible
>takes every opportunity to play 'the song of her people' on his phone
>it's just Darude - Sandstorm played on a shitty recorder
>this doesn't stop for three sessions
>I am the only one who even tries to role play

I hated that guy so much.

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One of best friends and our gm bought this game and wanted us to surprise with a new pnp.

6 hours later, I came up with numerous ways to kill myself with different objects in his house. The combat system just drags on and doesn't even tries to make sense. Everything else about this game can be summarized with the words, boring and generic.

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>Guy at local FLGS starts asking around for people to join a RIFTS campaign
>me and my friends join in cause hey why not seems fun
>spend time researching the setting and making a character and become really invested in the idea
>show up to first session to find that there are around 10 people in the group
>ohgodwhy
>this makes everything excruciatingly slow but it seems fine at first as everyone is content to have character interaction with eachother and enjoy just doing that as we wait for things to advance
>game starts with us in a prison that undergoes a prison break by demigods
>after we get free we are told a truck carrying some of our shit is driving into Mexico aka Vampire Country
>group agrees to accept our losses and fuck dealing with vampires, GM then proceeds to take more and more stuff and throw it on the truck to get us to go after it and eventually tells us we will straight up get killed if we DONT follow the damn truck
>Thats when it hit us, there are rails that are made of adamantium. And so we follow the truck
>long story short this leads us to the inside of a CS base where we are told something from the truck is missing, a casket, and encounter a comically evil (you know slaughtering underlings pointlessly, the whole 9 yards) god-like being who tells us to go get the thing or he will brutally murder us
>get sent back into Mexico where we are forced by plot to go into a vampire base and sit back and do nothing as two random demigod beings show up and open the casket, in it is Cain the first murderer who is apparently king of all the vampires in Mexico and sit back as the GM talks to himself between all this super-powered beings that could kill us all with a glance
>forcefully inducted into the vampire war against the CS
>At this point I would like to mention we have encountered no less than 6 god like beings while all of us are still starting level and equipment
cont. in reply, didnt think I would rant this long on it

>>54134708
go on...

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>>54134708
>Then the group realizes that we are actually completely irrelevant in everything that is going on, this story is not about the PCs we are just bystanders in witnessing a story by the GM about his demigod OCs.
>this becomes further cemented in as we continue on and every. single. combat encounter. we face is a losing battle we have to be saved by a NEW demigod OC of his as we keep getting teleported around the North American continent
>at this point entire group is losing interest and we start having people drop out. Others focus on making new characters trying to use stuff in some of the splat books to try and make someone who can do something in this story
>one of my friends gets closest in making a min maxed demonologist who summoned and bound something incredibly powerful and terrifying to his will
>seriously this thing could slaughter the entire group if he told it do but I forget what its name was. Point is we were getting somewhere
>very first combat encounter another godlike being appears and teleports it away to the moon
>last straw for him and me as we dont show up to next session
>later we ask the rest of the group what ended up happening after we left
>apparently Jesus Christ himself appeared and that is when everyone who was still left dropped out

I am sure this is not as bad as some peoples experiences but holy shit was it one of the most excruciating things I have had to sit through. Think the part of it that stings so much for me is that I got really invested in the character idea I had before going into it and then just having to sit around through several sessions watching god like beings do everything and be completely irrelevant no matter what we tried was infuriating

>>54134861
that doesn't even make sense why the DM would do that. did you play any games with the other members that dropped out?
>demonologist seemed pretty cool

>>54130183
>Play a game of PF with a friend from college
>Figure Ill make a bog standard paladin
>Show up to the first session, find out we're doing an investigation of some kind
>Figure it'll be great, as Im high enough level to have detect evil and zone of truth.
>Suddenly everybody is immune to both of those things.
>Go to a village, turns out there's a tiefling I later find out is a DMPC reoccurring character who beat us there, and he's already working on the investigation for the magistrate.
>"Ok, just stay out of trouble"
>Imwatchingyouscum.jpg
>He laughs me off, saying that my quest for good is impotent and that good and evil are antiquated terms.
>"say that again, and Ill introduce you to some equally antiquated sword techniques"
>We come back from some shenanigans to find that the town is burning down, and that same DMPC is on top of the town hall playing a fiddle or some shit, and smugly implies that it was he who burned the town down.
>Time to leave them all behind, activate smite and swig my last health potion.
>Get to the roof, he jumps off and disappears.
>Jump off after him, take about 20 damage and recover with Hero's Defiance.
>DM says the tiefling has gone invisible.
>Detect evil.
>DM responds by describing one of the DMPC's cohorts, a gaunt little girl in a black dress with an oversized scythe, who comes out of nowhere and crits me.
>It just so happens that her scythe steals my spells, so no more Hero's Defiance. I get knocked out.

contd.

>>54130183
Here's your binary choice Mr Paladin, pick one! You'll fall either way, And don't think about taking a 3rd option, I'll torpedo it!

>>54134917
>wake up, vow to get that fucker.
>We move on to some wizard tower or some shit, fight some big bad monstar. No clue what's going on.
>Tiefling shows up in the final boss chamber, dual wielding magical scimitars.
>The monster we've spent about 20 rounds fighting all over this tower is felled instantly, as the Tiefling's swords "glow with, you know, the darkest light".
>K
>After we clean up a bit, he *poofs* in on top of a statue.
>I question him a bit, since apparently he cant or wont be killed, and he just remains mysterious.
>Ask some fairly pointed questions about who he is and what he's doing.
>DM spins some cringeworthy prose about being a wanderer between dark and light.
>Fine. Zone of Truth.
>*Poof*, he's gone.
>Later another player got into a spat with the Tiefling who turned into a blue dragon and turned everybody's blood to sand for a one-round TPK.
>Apparently "we were warned".

>>54134890
Yeah I did and still do. Me and the friends I was closer to started our own RP using a different system and we kind of alternate who GMs from time to time. And yeah that friend manages to make the most memorable characters every time he sits down to play

As to why the DM did it I assume it was just because our demon friend did not fit into his railroad

>>54130183
Played a small game of 6th edition fantasy against a redshirt. I was a little kid and brought my High Elves for a second game against him, last time I defeated his Empire force. This time he brought High Elves too, including 15 Phoenix Guard that proceeded to kill my entire army by themselves.

>>54134963
its like your DM was every bad pathfinder trope in one guy

>>54134963
I'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that the best way to make a villain players really hate is just to make a shitty DMPC

>>54134286
But Jingle is our friend! She's here to help us!

>>54133665
This.
You have to be a special sort of broken inside to mess with kids like that.

>>54134497
>>54134861
goddamn man initially I wanted to ask why you didn't leave sooner.

It's like a trainwreck you can't stop watching I guess.

>>54135172
Thats not even remotely true.

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>>54134917
>>Suddenly everybody is immune to both of those things.

>foreverDM
>players insist on sending me their retarded backstories for a campaign that starts at level 1

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I have made, and continue to make, the mistake of wanting to try pathfinder.

>invited by an old tabletop pal to a roll20 PF game
>everyone but me is strictly text only
>ok that's cool roleplay heavy, not everyone is comfortable with doing it vocally
>rolled up gestalt/higher level/female only pc game
>first fucking time rolling up for pf
>no offers of help and no one answers when i ask for it
>get it done after too many fucking hours it's flawless
>backstory and image for flavor
>dropped into the party hideout naked
>roll with it, proceed to be told a few minor plot points by the dm I don't understand, as a new character
>3-4 hours later
>we've done nothing but in character hang out at the base and chat ooc
>dm gives just above zero direction, we're told what story stuff is happening and none of it involves us doing anything but sitting and occupying ourselves
>can count the number of times they did any gaming that session on my fingers
>assume it was an off night, talk to friend after the fact
>yeeeeeeeeeah... no he's kindof always this slow, player or dm
>Idontbelieveyou.avi
>ask another player in private, they confirm and shrug it off as 'it can't be helped'
>ask ANOTHER:same answer
>drop
----------
>One (of many) people credited in the guide to organized play for PF runs a game via local tabletop group
>down to try
>tell him a few days in advance I can't make it something comes up
>barred from group for not just his game: all games
>At the time it was the only local tabletop store/group
>A chill friend in group tells me I was "the flea on the straw that broke the camel's back" he just wanted to make an example of someone for something.
------------
>most other pathfinder groups online and otherwise I learn are circlejerk games to some degree or another

>>54135451
Go on...

>>54135451
There are a lot of systems which have characters be at least somewhat noteworthy even at the start of the game to justify why even at lvl1 they're so much better at everything than a normal commoner.

>>54135302
Sometimes you think that it's going to be better. Sometimes you stay to bring back horror storys or join games for exactly that reason.

>>54134497
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sso4vjERgdA

>>54136970
I sat there and watched this for far too long....

>>54132582

id forget everything that happens in a two hyaitus

>>54137151
its not even the 10 hour version

>rolls a 1d20 to tackle an orc with my beefy as shit dwarf barbarian
>Mo'fucking 19
>gm says "you hit him face first and he picks you up and throws you away"
>turns out that that orc would have a part in taking us to the GM's magical realm

>>54141005
>turns out that that orc would have a part in taking us to the GM's magical realm
This ends how I think it's going to end, right?

>>54141005
God i hope it ends with a handholding circle *sweats profusely*

>>54133769
>>54134286

Can confirm, have been the jester

>3.5
>push full-plate knight into pond in 3.5
>almost convince party to wander back into the desert with no food or water, internally concerned that they are listening to jester's advice
>running around in a town full of ghosts with white sheet over head, "haunting" them, making them angry at party

Would play again, desu

I wish I was kidding on this one, but our dm introduced us to a quest giver known to us as "giant Alan Rickman head" and we had to suffer through 4 hours of bad impressions.

>>54141265
I was on board for the Giant Alan Rickman head not so much for the bad impressions

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>>54141298
As another player in that fiasco, it was all terrible. Hilarious, but terrible.

>>54134286
He will always have his revenge from the grave.

I remember trying to run a Paranoia one-shot for the Pathfinder group I used to hang with. It was just a module to keep things simple, and I'd already had a blast with it with another group of players.

These guys though? Didn't get it at all. Even after I explained the premise of the setting and set everything up, they would do thinga in the most boring way.

Like, they get into a conflict with a yellow clearance security guard who's giving them a hard time, and instead of trying g to work around him, they just grind things to a halt and try to call in a higher ranking supervisor to try and get this guy in trouble.

It was just agonizing to see them try and treat the game as though it were some logical world where they'd get a fair say and wouldn't be purged for not going through with their mission in spite of the hassle. It was like pulling teeth to try and get them to do anything.

>>54135546
>>One (of many) people credited in the guide to organized play for PF runs a game via local tabletop group
>>down to try
>>tell him a few days in advance I can't make it something comes up
>>barred from group for not just his game: all games
>>At the time it was the only local tabletop store/group
>>A chill friend in group tells me I was "the flea on the straw that broke the camel's back" he just wanted to make an example of someone for something.

Name and shame, anon.

>>54135312
>>54135172

Name thing one players hate more than a shitty DMPC.

>>54141547

Arbitrarily having all their shit stolen without any save or check.

Losing a fight by fiat, like "you're walking through town with your girlfriend when five thugs walk up and slap her on the ass. You protest but they kick your ass. Your gf is so impressed that she goes off with them to their dive hangout."

>>54141594
I feel like that second one has happened to you? It's a bit specific.

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>>54130183
The most realistic That DM story I've ever seen

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>>54141721

>>54132582
Try a 6+ month hiatus because two people in the group don't have a tight schedule and DM wants to have everyone there. It's fucking cancerous.

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>Want to play DND
>Moved to the city, have no friends there
>Go to a cafe
>Guy sitting next to me is a total bro, DM is good, and the people across from me are cool.
>And then That Guy sits down.
>Think of the most lolxdrandom person you know and multiply that by like six
>Character named Fang
>Isn't even an edgelord, just cracks jokes and references that make no one at the table laugh.
>Constantly interrupts the DM.

I think the moment I realized I would remember this asshole was when the DM asked him what his character would do and he said "Well he'd probably pull out a blunt and get blazed."

You better believe he laughed at his own joke after that one. He was the only one laughing.

>>54132612
If that were true, why would you even still interact with the guy?

>>54142648
Are you literally retarded

>>54134528
This isn't the "the sound of zombies attracts more zombies" game, is it?

>>54142763
>bringing that up again attracts more zombies

>>54130183
One time, we were gonna play a session, but then it got canceled

>>54142763
how long till you get infinite zombies?

>>54141594
You could have a shitty DMPC do both of those things.

>>54135302
I was only there for three games, including the session 0. I was hoping he'd eventually cut that shit out but the campaign just kind of ended because we accidentally burned down the mansion we were supposed to be investigating and the DM didn't have anything else lined up.

>>54141793
>>54132582
>>54138038
A game that's been going on for three years, mostly due to multiple month, two month long hiatuses and random scheduling problems (the group being in all parts of the world does not help)
But we're all too stubborn to just quit.

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>>54134708
>>Guy at local FLGS starts asking around for people to join a RIFTS...

I stopped reading there.
Friends don't let friends play rifts.

>>54145342
Had no idea about the system when going into it but never even had to experience it during the several sessions of it anyway

>>54145657
Believe me.

Having to actually play a RIFTS game is worse than watching your GM play with himself.

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>>54132612

>>54142763
That sounds both incredibly difficult and insanely frustrating, like any good horror game.

Joined a no-life dude d&d 5e game. He said he runs like 4 games at once, so I thought he might at least be capable of something.

Join an existing party, starting at 6th level. For some reason, get only 1st level strating gear and cash despite party having magic items out the wazoo, including weapons that randomly become +5. Turns out, he never preps anything, everything is horrible improv. Worse, all the plot points the players become interested in are "too much for you", despite being consorted with by gods and demons constantly. He never leaves any space for roleplaying, so the characters barely talk. Every time the PCs planned out how to do something, he brings in his demigods to ruin it or to do it for them.

Bailed after the 4th session.

>>54135546
hello
>friend is organizing a pathfinder game and invites me to play
>i have trouble making characters and mention this and have him try to help me out
>i was thinking along the lines of a snakeman bard or something and then he goes "hey dude you can be a dragon lmao"
>i look at the race and find out that they're basically dragons but about the size of small dogs, and think it would be hilarious to be a dragon bard
>read more into the race and find out they have their own racial class that lets them turn into a full grown fucking colossal sized dragon at level 20
>talk with DM and he's cool with it
>they're still the size of a tiny dog at level 1 so i'm thinking that it might work out
>turns out that he's ballbustingly op and i unintenionally minmaxed
>campaign falls apart soon after
>this had been the first time i'd played ANY tabletop besides FATE
>now refuse to play any other tabletop until I can use this meme ass dragon character i made

I'm terrible

>You try to make a reasonably grounded character
>Everyone just makes stupid shit that revolves around irl pop culture memes
>Everyone but you thinks thinks session after session of 420 Blaze It tier humor is hilarious and engaging

Its a very weird feel when you realize youre out of touch with people your own age

>>54147860
>tried doing something, it sucked
>did it 3 more times, just to make sure
Was he the only DM in a 100-mile radius?

>>54134963
>"glow with, you know, the darkest light".
kek

>>54131478
This, except they kept talking about roleplaying, and kicked me out because I min-maxed my char.

I was the only one that ever played unoptimized chars, and (role-)played down my strengths when I powerplayed (because I wanted to be able to do something powerful, but not keep bothering the DM with it, or stealing the show all the time), and tried to roleplay beyond "I'm a rogue, therefore I go first".

Yeah, that makes me That Guy, and that's ok, kick me out for it. But don't fucking bullshit me about roleplay when your whole adventure is just versions of a gestapo-interrogation-like communication and slaughtering everything for shits and giggles with your CharOp copypasta characters.

>firend of a friend wasn't exactly the brightest bulb
>nobody else wanted to play with him, but I kept bringing him along because I felt bad for him
>even though I didn't like him myself
>one time he wanted to DM
>we're ninjas from a temple high in the mountains
>sent to buy groceries in the village far below
>suddenly pirates
>pirates ambush us, demand we find them a ship
>a ship in the middle of mountains?
>suddenly, from behind a bush, a wild ocean appears
>we kill the pirates while parrots fire flintlock pistols at us
>there is a ship moored in the shallows
>two players swim to the ship, leaving equipment behind
>suddenly, 5 minotaurs charge at two other players who were left to guard the equipment
>get into a rowboat that wasn't there before, row for half an hour
>one player gets killed because half an hour of rowing got us 10ft from the shore
>other argues with DM until DM puts him 10ft away from the ship
>still 10ft from the shore, tho
>players on ship kill minotaurs with a broadside
>everyone gathers on the ship
>lots of barrels with a black powder in hold
>one player sticks his finger in the powder and licks it
>DM says he identified it as gunpowder, despite gunpowder not existing anywhere else in the world
>however, DM rolled him a nat 1 on some hidden bullshit role, which meant he "mishandled" the powder and whole ship blows up

>>54141424
Were they all playing level 4 soccer moms with a chihuahua animal companion?

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>>54132612
my sides

>>54133359
If your tremere isn't a bastard, you are playing it wrong

>>54149411
That seems like the single most incoherent game I have read in the past month. Kudos to you for that: how did you even keep up with what was happening during all that shit?

>>54141635
not him, but I'm pretty sure it's a spin on the "this guy comes in and slap your waifu's ass, what do" trope, so lurk moar

>>54148583
Yeah, that did it for me too. Me and another guy playing a monk audibly scoffed trying to hold back our laughter.

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>>54148275
that's a really high amount of points in asocial anon, even for 4chan

>always wanted to get into tabletop gaming
>highschool was bad for it, older kids were very anti-outsider, and current crop of friends liked DnD in the sense that they had a cuck Gm they could browbeat into giving them anything they wanted, the level 12 wizard had, for example, 9 rings of three wishes
>finally in university
>join the games club
>members: Fat Fuck, Pissy Asian Girl and
Fat Fuck's girlfriend. some others, those are the ones that matter
>bring friend with me
>friend is female, horribly gossipy to the point that most people from various social circles I was in hated her guts
>I mean literally a person would leave the room and she'd start talking shit
>in a "i'm really worried about ____, he's a *20 minutes of listing his character faults*"
>go to a few games nights here and there, finally, friend is setting up a game of Changeling The Lost
>know nothing about it whatsoever
>this is gonna be fun.jpg
>make a character based on the description of the game, a chubby antiquarian with stealth focus
>get to game night
>fat fuck has made superrapemurder edgelord, min-maxed to fucking all hell
>his girlfriend made an interesting lawyer character, beast hyena thing
>there were other characters there too, but most of the players arent a major part of the story.

cont

>>54150071

First session is pretty damn fine. I learn the ways of the rules system and start 'understanding' how tabletop rpgs work, start browsing /tg/
>realize really quickly that fat fuck is a That Guy
>made a character that is unable to work with the party because most of us just made fresh out of the hedge weirdos and he minmaxed a character strong enough to murder a few of the monarchs of the courts
>in fact, he literally never shuts the fuck up about his characters
>and he's constantly making more in his free time
>and he's constantly min-maxing
>and he takes everything anyone says fucking super personally and brings up his rape min-max characters
>"I can sneak really well Fat fuck"
>YEAH WELL IF MY ONE CHARACTER GETS A SINGLE SUCCESS HE SEES PAST YOUR STEALTH AND THEN HE CAN PUNCH YOU SO HARD I ROLL 32 DICE TO HIT HER AND SHE FUCKING EXPLODES"
>lots of really annoying and aggressive shit like this
>his girlfriend is not like this at all, generally friendly, but prone to getting headaches, migraines and leaving early
>also their relationship isn't super awesome. shit is fucking awful and they eventually break up
>but how is the GMing?
>well, the DM decides to let FAT FUCK design and write a bunch of NPCs for her, because it's a lot of hard work, I guess
>of course they're all godlike super min-maxed characters
>and of course he brings this up everyime someone tries to think of any kind of intrigue based plan
>OH NO, IF SO AND SO NPC CATCHES YOU HE'LL FUCKING EXPLODE YOU WITH HIS 23 DICE TO MAKE YOU POP LIKE A BALOON WITH HIS MIND
>also, bitching and moaning every single night to the DM about anyone taking any action or doing anything whatsoever
>and also whining endlessly that nobody in the game ever does anything and his edgelord lone wolf has to go out of character constantly because nobody else will take a step forward because he'll promptly inform them of seven different npcs he designed by hand that can literally fuck the entire party six ways

>>54150143
>and also, fat fuck will not shut the fuck up about the game, metagaming 24/7 to the point where the gaming group never talks about anything else besides fucking changeling
>and it's constant, endless, self masturbatory "my character is so powerful"
>or it's nonstop "if any of you try anything any of the NPCs will literally rape you a hundred times"
>also, Pissy Asian Girl is with us all the time despite not playing with us ever
>anytime you disagree with Fat Fuck, she's usually glaring at you, really dumb. Like it's like Eren and Mikasa, except mikasa is an ugly manjawed loli and Eren is a morbidly obese sack of shit
>players get bored and start trying to do stuff
>manage to get a single thing done in the game and it was pretty awesome, not going to lie
>everyone helped too
>Fat Fuck's Ex Girlfriend decides to investigate the sewers(was told not to, but come on, thats adventure, the npc that told us was our landlord)
>gets attacked by monsters from Vampire the Masquerade, flesh creations for some reason
>Fat Fuck's gf is armed so her character opens fire
>gets saved by landlord
>landlord dies, PCs become homeless
>DM goes super fucking HARD on the in game punishments
>Ex Girlfriend is actually genuinely upset, Fat Fuck actually tells her over and over again that she's a fuckup etc
>most of the DM's player-created NPCs want to murder his character
>goes on fucking trial
>DM just fucking tears into this person, screaming and clearly making the player uncomfortable(im just roleplaying XD)
>character eventually gets taken by a sooper secret giga-villian we weren't supposed to know about but thankfully non-stop metagaming has ruined that for everyone
>Ex Girlfriend and I, in the meantime, become close some months after the breakup and start dating
>the gaming group doesnt like this, ambushes her one time on the pretense of a hangout but tells her not to date me
>find out that the DM whom I constantly have to defend for being a terrible gossiping cunt..well

>>54150231
i hope this ends with That Guy challenging you to a irl 1v1 with katana's

>>54150231
> turns out DM has been just telling people all kind of shit about me
>anything confidential, and also just straight up nonstop lies
>shit like me having violent history, assaulting people, stealing shit
>literally everyone I've lived with agrees I'm a meek dude who stays inside his house all day and is generally shy around new people
>of course they believe it because they find me annoying because I tend to be an opinionated faggot and I really hate the anime they're all masturbating over at the time(attack on titan)
>no really, pissy asian girl actually punched me as hard as she could in the spine because I was mocking it
>thankfully she's worthless and weak and I barely felt a thing, was literally like "what the fuck, did you actually put force into that?" because she leaned her whole body into the punch
>so now this shitty gaming group hates me, the DM I thought I could trust is non-stop shit-talking me and making me look like a fucking psycho(off screen, I never exhibit these behaviors in person, but they dont question it)
>Fat Fuck picks on his ex girlfriend every night, openly talking metric fucktons of shit to her for no reason. telling her she ruined the game etc
>girlfriend leaves the game nights visibly in tears and is usually so fucked up from the constant verbal abuse she's too depressed to even answer her phone the day after
>this goes on for M O N T H S for some autistic reason
>there's fun incidents like when Me and Ex Girlfriend went on a date, plum forgot we were supposed to be playing changeling, get there after a 60 dollar cab ride and the DM just makes us sit there while they run another game. they also take the time to bully Ex Girlfriend some more because why not
>i've been asking DM to intervene. A lot. Please do something. They listen to you
>eventually starts screaming at me in a car one night
>SHE FUCKING ANNOYS THEM SHE BRINGS IT UPON HERSELF SHE FUCKING DESERVES IT
>realize that DM is an irredeemably terrible person

>>54134963
>Apparently "we were warned".

This is clearly true though. The GM threw every possible indication that the game was shit now, was shit in the past and would go on to be shit. The ending being shit was always a given.

But you stayed. You chose to carry on. You were warned.

The Good End was you punching the GM in the nose, asking if he's immune to that and leaving to make better use of your time elsewhere.

>>54150337
>DM feels nothing
>"I told you to stay out of trouble"
>starts glowing with the darkest light

What do?

>>54150385
Burn his house down and sit on the roof and play a fiddle
Only solution

>>54150413
>Police get called
>Taunt them from rooftops about their antiquated notions of "good and evil, legal or illegal" before jumping off and running into the night

>>54150334
>start trying to distance myself from DM
>but at same time, living with DM's boyfriend, starting dating a few months after I moved there. Thanks obama
>in the beginning of the year I was pretty happy and managed to lose like 50 pounds because I actually controlled my soda addiction and ate correctly
>get so miserable despite getting gf and shit that I start eating fucking pizzas nonfuckingstop and drinking coke after coke after coke
>the fact that I dont have diabetes is probably a medical mystery because I drank a case like every fucking day for months man
>gain back all my weight "and more"
>ask Pissy Asian Girl if there's an actual problem with me, because it cant be me just shitting on attack on titan
>goes on a two hour rant and assigns a lot of behaviors I wasnt even really sure I had to my core personality, most of which wasn't ever something she witnessed, just shit she was told I was like, and DM loves to tell people I'm a huge piece of shit/psychotic/sociopathic/manipulative for some fucking reason
>have no idea, think I'm going fucking insane and that I've got some kind of mr hyde thing going on
>go into the woods outside my university with a sharp fucking knife and a suicide note pinned to my chest
>planning to slit my wrists, blade is to the skin when a sunday hiker(there were walking/hiking/horseriding trails there) catches me
>doesnt see what I was about to do but I'm pretty sure he knew I was going to kill myself
>spends a long time talking to me until I lose my nerve and just start crying
>keeps around and talks to me for another few hours, never bringing up the suicide thing but just asking me various gaming related things, I was wearing a destiny shirt at the time
>eventually he asks me if i've got somewhere to live, realize that I went out there at 9 am on a sunday morning to kill myself and it was already night time
>tell him yeah, he just so happens to be taking the bus too
>as I get on the bus he tells me that things do get better

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Cant tell if Im in the wrong.

>Work with GM to create charaters with flaws
>My pally lost her family to water creatures, hates the idea of water travel
>Evil Hags base of operations across a massive lake
>We arrive, disagree about awiming over
>Rouge with water walking runs in
>Pally is gonna go around
>Party splits, half of us die
"WELL JASPER WOULDNT GO ACROSS THE WATER"

Next session
>Players all alive
>NPC alive
>"Youre across the water at the door"

I get that he wants us to play his campain but also just skipping over a conflict feels like a cop-out.

Am I in the wrong, blinded by wanting to play out >muh backstory ?

>>54150435
>police attempt to put handcuffs on you
>poof away

>>54150334
>white knight beta orbiter picks up GEEK GRRL, fails to read signs that GUESS FUCKING WHAT, BRINGING A SO TO GAME NIGHT IS DISRUPTIVE
>misses game sessions
>accuses GM of being evil cishet shitlord for calling out his disruptive behaviour

>>54150442
>lost family to water creatures
>hates water travel
>refuses to kill bbeg because "hates water and has to go over it to do it
Yeah your kinda in the wrong that is the most faggoty shit i have ever heard
the players going on without you they still died and it was more or less their fault but your characters backstory is gay my dude
how the fuck do you live do you not drink water?

>>54150442
If it was clear there was actually a way to go around, its not your fault.

That said, if you knew that they had ways of crossing the water more quickly, you could have devised some method of signalling them when you were in position so you could all still attack together.

>>54150515
wait fuk im a fag and miss read
They did not just walk around with you?
i mean your are still gay for that backstory but yeah they are 100% wrong if thats the case

>>54130183
>GM expects me to read the rules and understand the settinf beforehand

Like LOL thats what fucking GMs are for

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>>54150441

Weird sidenote, nobody anywhere in the university or in the surrounding area knew of the guy. He looked like pic related, it was kind of weird.

Anyway
>after the suicide note, realize that this shit doesnt really matter
>stop caring about the DM because she's a fucking cunt
>eventually she makes a big dramatic thing about blocking me on social media and stuff, told people to have the police on speed dial because I might be fucking enraged when I found out
>her boyfriend, super chill guy eventually let me know
>FUCK YES OH MY GOD
>have to deal with her for a few months, then move
>those few months, she went out of her way to be a major cunt mind you
>randomly talk shit to me when I get home from work or school
>Just little things "Oh, amiibos anon? I didnt realize you liked kid's toys"
>say nothing, keep the peace
>got a new DnD game running, f u c k i n g cunt starts whining loudly whenever im in the room that the gaming group with the pissy asian and the fat fuck is actually really shitty now, complains about them literally every single day she's over
>generally keep quiet about DM's behavior, but feel sorry for people that I do tell that go "WELL I MEAN DM NEVER TALKS SHIT ABOUT ME" and she totally fucking did, literally seems to have endless contempt and loathing for everything and everyone around her
>when I move I have no rules about anything except for the DM. The DM is never allowed at my new place under any circumstances. If she comes to our doorstep bleeding from a gunshot wound she's dying on the street.

The new room mates generally agreed, one of them tried to invite her over for his birthday and the rest of the room mates kaiboshed that shit pretty quick because they all knew her as being a huge bitch and that was that. It's funny because the guy that invited her over has autism, a mild case and she literally talked about him like he was a brain dead retard whenever he wasn't around, making little comments

>>54150337
I very nearly did. One night we drank too much and he pulled some BS where a rope that was left to climb a cliff was booby-trapped with a giant cyclone elemental for some reason and I nearly punched him in the face.

>>54150385
>>54150413
>>54150435
>>54150453
Im glad that people think this is just as stupid as I do. I had a minor nightmare when typing this up that somehow neo-/tg/ would think I was somehow in the wrong (other than choosing to stay, which Ill readily admit was my fault).

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>Have pretty good friend, good chat, sensible
>Watches Critical Role religiously
>Tries to re-enact some of the voices from actual voice actors who had spent years practicing voices.
>Tries to do "le epic campaign defining moment" in every session
>Will use strategies found in some of their videos

Not going to lie, I use Spoony's bag of glass dust trick for some of my rogue characters, but some of the shit he pulls: Handing over all his money to pay for the starting towns tavern of drinks in a low-magic, fairly dark fantasy setting that's a little serious but isn't completely accurate - or specifically stating that he's "half-swording", in 5e, where the GM doesn't really keep track of weapon types.

tfw the other two dudes in the party that don't watch it / skim it like the GM and I do, think it's the coolest shit ever.

>>54150524
>>54150530
Was a cliff to repel down if we walked around. The spurg lord bolted across this laked and the druid/foghter went with them. Wiz, Cler, Pally went around.

They got fucking eaten by a octo-monster.

>>54150552
what? we were all making fun of you for not submiting to his level 40 dual weilding blackest light weilding dmpc
What the fuck you on anon :^)

>>54150542
>>54150488

We missed a game session by planning three weeks ahead to go to the beach, told everyone in advance, and then the night before the GM sent us an email telling us that changeling was on. We didn't get it in time, were happily swimming around in the water by the time we were finally texted. Oh, and I found that the DM spent the entire session before we arrived telling my girlfriend's """friends""" she had bailed on them to go make out with her boyfriend and that we were likely just a block away at my house - after I told her we were across town at the beach.

There's being annoyed your players missed a game, and there's being a manipulative cunt,

>>54132612
Kek

>>54150578

But anyway, little comments like "Oh they're letting him work loss prevention? Does he understand what stealing is?" Even though, you know.

Point is I learned my lesson and I promptly moved to OSR - town. No games where "builds" of any kind are viable or even a thing, and if you try to metagame I give a nonanswer, unless it's in-character lore requests. So I don't, basically.

It worked out in the end for me, though, because even though the GM went through some work to ell people I'm literally hitler, nobody I care about belives her because years later nobody can recall a single instance where I was ever the gibbering monster she claimed I was. Go into some group counselling and I've been happy as FUCK ever since

tl;dr: when your group is shit two sessions in, fucking leave.

LEAVE.
JUST FUCKING LEAVE.

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>>54150648

For real though, why are FemGM's fucking awful?

Like honestly, I'm totally for anyone wanting to run the game - but more often than not, female fronted games have so much IRL drama that it becomes more prominent to argue than to play.

Baffles me.

>>54150648
>>54150578
>>54150542
>>54150441
>>54150334
>>54150231
>>54150143
>>54150071

>long winded story that doesnt end in a silly pun or a joke
>trying to kill yourself because an ugly gook doesn't like you
>falling in depression because you found out someone who was a cunt to literally everyone else behind their backs was also unsurprisingly a cunt to you behind your back

anon are YOU retarded? No really, man, is it a self esteem thing, like, if I found out someone was talking that much shit about me I'd confront them, tell them to stop, and make sure they understood that if my professional life was ever affected by their shit-talking I'd nuke them with a libel suit

basically you're retarded and I hope you've grown a spine since then

holy shit

>>54150648
>Point is I learned my lesson and I promptly moved to OSR - town. No games where "builds" of any kind are viable or even a thing

Even in OSR builds can easily be a thing. It's literally just 'What choices you'd make'

>>54150578
>scheduling a date for game night
>for the fair maiden you, Sir White Knight, saved from the JERKS

honestly not surprised your group lost patience

>>54150676
A large proportion of "nerd women" have characteristics that we find more reprehensible in women than men

>go with family and friends to florida on vacation
>me, little cousin, and friend decide to play a game to pass time on last night
>friend calls his pld friend that lives in apartment across to come play too
>little cousin is excited since he's never played tabletop before
>Older friend (Josh) shows up with his own character made
>dude looks skinny as hell and has huge bags but seems fine
>cousin just starts with fighter since he knows nothing
>game starts, nothing too serious
>Josh slowly but subtly begins acting like a cunt to cousin, telling him when he cant do something
>think he's just trying to teach him, but it gets worst over time
>20 minutes in and Josh is now telling cousin that he's being fucking retarded, almost yelling
>try to tell him to calm the fuck down
>tells us he wants him out of the game right now
>cousin just gets up and walks into hallway
>friend who GM'd tells Josh to get
>cousin to this day doesn't want to play tabletops
It wouldn't have been so bad if it was just me. Seeing my cousin like that fucking killed me
Fuck you josh

>>54150686
Agreed. We need to start taking a hardline against weak people. If you can't stand up for yourself, you're part of the problem

>>54150729
Im sorry. Fuck Josh and his shit.

>>54132612
This needs to become a new copypasta

>>54132612
Reminds me of /tv/ kinoplex threads.
Did he have a no singles policy too?

>>54150686
This

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>>54134861
>apparently Jesus Christ himself appeared
The kind of delusion that makes a GM think that's acceptable is fascinating to me

>>54150648
>tl;dr: when your group is shit two sessions in, fucking leave.

>LEAVE.
>JUST FUCKING LEAVE.

Well, I am grateful for your tale. It has been... uplifting, really. I didn't think I would be this grateful for the bland group that I have, but now I am.

I would warn you, however, that you seem to be unhealthily against metagame knowledge: there is some good to be had with metagame knowledge and by that I mean that if a player reads the setting description and makes a nice character backstory detailing where he grew up, how that influenced him and made him who he is when the adventure starts... you should give him kudos, not tell him to stop metagaming.

But that's just me.

>>54130183
probably when I let one of my players take over running my exalted game and he summarily raped the setting and story up to that point. it was so shit that me and my friend still bitch about it to this day.

>>54150231
>Ex Girlfriend of another dude at the gaming table
She stayed with the group because...?

That is, like, the epitome of bad ideas. Of all things you can do, dumping someone and staying in the same social circles as they is probably one of the worst things you can do.

>>54150334
i thought it was supposed to be a good thing when cunts collide

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>>54130183
Played a game with some tool (if he isn't involved in the action he shoehorns himself in, was a min-maxer, generally obnoxious). Luckily for me it lasted all of 2 sessions before he became unable to attend game night due to scheduling reasons.

Other than that playing D&D 5e run by someone who was hung-up on 3e. The game was interesting but due to many factors (where we were playing, the ill thought homebrew/conversions, etc.) it was kin of a mess.

>>54151143
Upvoted for the art

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>>54132582
That's currently happening to me. The last campaign I GM'd was about 10 stable sessions long every week until March. A friend wanted to run a short campaign right afterward, we've done four sessions in the last 3+ months because of scheduling issues and people being busy.

Next session, whenever it happens, will be the last, and although I really enjoyed being a player I can't wait for this to be over. At the same time, the GM's roommate wants to join, and although I really like him in multiple ways, his schedule isn't really stable so I know that's only gonna drag part of the problem over to my game. These huge gaps between sessions made me spend a lot of time on the homebrew I had started on at the end of last year a lot, and I'm really looking forward to using it, but I'm gonna lose my mind if I have to continue to endure these fuckhuge breaks for the rest of the year. I think it's time for me to pick up some other lads so I can run two games during the week.

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>>54141206
>>running around in a town full of ghosts with white sheet over head, "haunting" them, making them angry at party
Fucking kek

>>54130183
Tried vampire. The GM introduced one of his own former player characters as a big bad. He was a Malkavian with a split personality represented by multiple character sheets he'd switch between on a die roll. One of the players had thought that was a super cool idea and made a Malkavian that worked the same way and big bad Malkavian was trying to lure them to the dark side or something. The rest of us could maybe have gotten a grip on things and had some fun with it because we were giving it an honest try (except the guy who blatantly would not read or pay attention and of course wanted to play a Tremere) but it was just an awkward Malkavian clusterfuck from start to finish and I'm grateful there was only ever one session.

>>54134350
>A drunk lady then comes in and heckles everyone and all of them sperg out and do nothing about it.

This is the strangest part Anon and did you ever learn what was up with this woman?

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>>54130183
>when you wonder if there's been any new Adventure Calls and you check and realize they were made back in 2013

>>54134917
>Suddenly everybody is immune to both of those things.
Why don't people like this just...use a system that's actually made for those kinds of campaigns?

>>54152107
Pathfinder is like Javascript. It'll work in theory for just about anything, but if you dont have an excuse for why you're not using something else you instantly out yourself as an idiot.

>>54132612
You fucking glorious sarcastic bastard. I love it.

>>54152364
I hate you so much.

>>54152030
Limmy tried to pitch it as a standalone show idea separate from his normal skit comedy show, but the network said no. He said "maybe netflix" a long ass time ago on twitter, and netflix IS picking up series left and right. There's hope yet, traveler.

>>54148135
Is this the DSP monster class?

Currently military guy in our group was sitting and planning for 1-2 hours on attacking this little fucking apartment or something on Savage worlds. I feel sorry for the DM who had to come up with bullshit on the spot. I just eventually said fuck it with a few other guys and we went in guns blazing and cleared it in about 5-10 minutes.

>>54130183
Everything. Had a good time until players started reading gitp and playing nothing but gnolls and vampires stacking bullshit intimidate and diplomancy shit. I promptly burned that shit down but was stupid enough to try it again with the same people. I fucking hate roleplaying games now and just lurk here to shit on people having a good time because fuck you.

>ThatGM says he is hosting Godbound, which he spins like a Black and White rpg
>This guy only hosts VtM and PF (also constantly streams it, super shitty players and zero plot)
>I’m nervous about joining, but he seems really excited about the system figure I’ve got nothing to lose
>First session. The players are told by nameless npc that we must “inherit the earth”
>Already feeling like another oWoD game
>We are taken from our backstory world and flung onto generic Earth planet
>In a big field with nothing around us
>Look around for 60 real world minutes, find nothing
>We constantly bicker because we figured our characters would compete (fun roleplaying you know), but we expected to have some clout built-up in our previous backstory-filled world
>Finally find some fucking interactable NPCs
Before I go on, I gotta mention this player. He is the dumbest fucking retard alive, a min-maxer and That Guy all in one. One of the game this guy GM’d was PF. The player comp was a fighter, rogue and some third party bullshit class. The third party guy is the GM for this Godbound game. Anyways, third party man is a goblin and just wheezes and screams constantly. Never fucking roleplays. The retard GM gives this goblin a GMPC. The other rogue gets into a fight with the GMPC.
>”Okay rogue PC, the GMPC picks you by the throat and says ‘shut up’”
>”Uhhhh.. Okay I draw my knife from my belt and stab the guy!”
>”You do that, nothing happens. He crushes your throat and laughs as he tosses your body into the river.”
>Autistic Godbound GM/ goblin PC screams some irl black speech again.
That game was awful, but nothing compared to this Godbound shitshow:
>Finally find some NPC’s to interact with
>They are below-stone-age-level in every respect
>Can’t understand anything we are saying and don’t speak a real language
>Session ends
>Unanimously tell the GM to up his game and include some real NPCs
>He says he will
cont.

>>54132582
Dude are you me? That is exactly what is happening right now.

>Next session
>Situation is the same
>One of the PCs gets into a argument with shitty PF retard GM
>They start pvp
>One of the most autistic, lamest combat experiences ever
>They are seriously just rolling d20s into each other. They initially were roleplaying their attacks, but they just continued to miss because Godbound’s combat mechanics (d20) are fucked, so they gave up.
>We spend 120 real world minutes fighting this autistic Pathfinder retard (who is playing a hardcore furry)
>The conclusion is just the retard running into the woods
>Other player tries to follow, another player wipes his mind
>Straight-up wasted time
>We talk to the NPCs around town, one of the PCs (knowledge) teaches them how to speak
>Town filled with nameless nobodies
>I decide that this place is fucking terrible, and go with an in-character friend to find some more advanced NPCs (and maybe the plot)
>Autistic retard constantly screaming about how he is getting bullied
>GM takes pity on him and lets him do his thing for a while
>Retard finds animal-people in the woods
>WEW
>He finds the animal king
>Says to her “you will worship meee….”
>Spills his spaghetti super hard
>The NPC says something to the effect of “fuck off retard”
>Retard gets close to her, says “don’t mess with me, hee hee”
>NPC calls for her guards
>Retard picks her up by the throat
>HolyFuckTheFlashbacks.png
>Retard kills her on the spot
>Says to her guards “worship me please haha”
>They attack him
>Turns out these animal guards are superheroes and almost kill this Godbound
>Retard runs away
>Another two hours wasted
>I finally arrive at another settlement, my friend can fly so he went to scout for other NPCs
>I was playing a spooky skeletal warlord, so I waltz into town and proclaim my rulership
>I scare most of the populace into obedience, use horrible necromantic magic to kill and then reanimate the dissidents before the other’s eyes
>It’s edgy as fuck, but it was fun at least.

cont.

>>54154059
>>54154038
Woops, forgot to link these
>All the other players see me having fun and tell the GM they want to come to me
>GM takes camera away from me to roleplay their shitty traveling
>I play in this 7 hour session for 15-20 minutes
>Session ends with nothing major happening except my escapades.
>We jokingly berate the GM for a lack of named NPCs again. Mostly just tell him what to improve on.
>He flips his shit, starts fucking screaming. “OKAY GUYS IF YOU WANT FUCKING NAMED NPCS I'LL GIVE YOU FUCKING NAMED NPCS, HOLY SHIT YOU GUYS ARE UNBEARABLE WHY WON’T YOU JUST FOLLOW MY PLOT-BLAH-BLAH-BlAH-BLAH
>We are visibly taken aback by his sudden mood-swing. Tell him he can improve if he justs…
>”FUCK YOU ANON, I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO HOSTS AND FUCK ALL YALL”
>Leave before the GM physically explodes
>Third session comes around
>Really hesitating on this one
>GM doesn’t apologize for blowing-up last time
>Figure I’ll play to watch more of the retards antics.
>Session starts with the other PCs still on their way to me
>They are moving incredibly fast, 100 mph via flying or jumping
>The GM will not let them get to me because they have to build a boat to cross the ocean (my friend flew over it and dropped me off on the other side)
>Artifice PC builds boat in seconds, they sail over
>Along the way they piss off a dragon who flies over to me
>I finish claiming the shitty hovel with my skeletons
>Retard screams that he hasn’t got to play yet
>GM shifts over to him again
>Queue ANOTHER 2 HOURS of this retard
>He just can’t convince them to do anything because the player is too retarded to produce sensible sentences
>The GM doesn’t let him roll for any charisma checks, forces him to RP it all because he wants to bully the retard
>Retard finds the unnamed village elder
>The retard tells the elder that he owns the village now
>Except it sounds ic & ooc like a dog barking
>The elder tells him to fuck off
>”I pick him up by the throat”
cont.

>>54154085
>”I pick him up by the throat”
>Can’tStopLaughing.jpg
>Goes on an autistic rampage through the village, kills every single NPC because they won’t worship him
>After two hours of this shit, the GM returns to me
>I find the only named NPC in the game, a skeleton king who made the population fear him via necromantic magic
>Think that that is a little fucking lazy, but whatever; it’s the first named NPC in nearly 20 hrs of game time
>I get into a fight with him, and the dragon too (which this fuck turned into his slave bone dragon off-screen)
>The GM narrates it well, but the d20s just don’t come up for the NPC
>NPC plus dragon do fuck all to me, I just roll my instant-hit attack over and over until they die
>GM screams that I power-gamed and ends session
>We never play again
This GM now exclusively hosts PF and WoD and streams it on twitch. I asked him to open his journal tab a couple times to look at his NPCs
Fucking nothing
He never had a single named NPC

>>54153801
Reminds me of this one game where our group's thinky player spent a whole lot of time trying to come up with good ideas about going through an obviously, magically trapped tunnel that had glyphs we couldn't disable that would explode if approached.

He was up to this elaborate plan about basically yoyoing each other all over the place to remove ourselves from the blast radius before it would explode and even more desperate shot.

My character nods, grabs a rock and kicks it down the tunnel, triggering all the traps without any casualties. Then I tell him IC/OOC that we should probably keep moving, if he's done being clever.

>>54150729
Did you have a series of tiny strokes while writing this?

>>54150926
>including a fictional character in your fictional setting

I see nothing wrong with this.

>>54130190
Shut the fuck up Wayne.

>>54154118
>the Int is your dump stat, but no one else is solving the riddle so you have to roleplay your character bumbling into the answer

I don't remember the wording, but basically there was a long, dark hallway that "screen-wrapped" back to the beginning unless you closed your eyes while walking through it.

>highschool, dnd playgroup, everyone at their first experience
>there's a single girl in the group
>shy, always silent, not that interested, stays only because at one point she starts dating one of us
>says she wants to try her hand DMing
>we all happily agree since it's probably the only way to get her involved
>first session, she presents the setting and the first scene
>just a few basic sentences, no descriptions, 0 details, we litterally have to draw words from her mouth asking a million question
>she gets visibly nervous, almost snaps, we're dying from the embarassment
>3 hellish hours pass, then we go for ice cream
>the week after i accept an invite from another group
>never play with them again
>

>>54154112

>This GM now exclusively hosts PF and WoD and streams it on twitch

Do I even want a link?

>>54154812
The answer is always yes Anon.

>>54150676
When individuals exists in social groups that mostly consists of members of the opposite sex who put them on a massive pedestal, they tend to develop a severe sense of entitlement.

>>54153368
>AW C'MAHN DOOD

>>54154918
view at your own discretion
theredheadgamer at twitch

>>54130261
False. My buddy is totally cool until we play an RPG. Then he's 100% That Guy. Nice dude otherwise.

>>54134165
I'd play a Doc Savage themed Mutants and Masterminds game.

West Marches.

>>54132612
Here's your (You)

>>54130183
>Try playing Everyone Is John
>Try my hardest to put in interesting situations, including some cribbed from threads (wake up in some random child's bedroom, mid assassination attempt, on a life raft, etc)
>Players look confused, just robotically attempt to fulfill goals
>Everyone always goes all in for bidding
>Session over in less than 40 minutes.

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>>54155849

>>54155849
>theredheadgamer at twitch
>newest vod
>first fucking 10 minutes of game play is a random encounter
>dwarf is weird cause he doesn't wear fucking giant heavy armor
>how is that weird? whatever
>party proceeds to play the "who can be edgier and not interact with npc's while lookin fly" game
what the fuck dude

>>54155919
What went wrong?

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>>54156591
>MAGE IS NAMED ENTROPY
KEK

>>54132612
9/10, made me laugh

>>54156620

Absolutely.

Everything.

>>54156786
Give at least three examples.

>>54156786
Name four hundred examples or you're a hack.

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>>54156802

1. It was completely on Skype, with the main DM trusting the players to roll everything in private.

2. The entire Skype group (which started as a GW2 guild chatroom but expanded into tabletop and other vidya) was forced to at least make a character. All 120 of us. And we were allowed multiple characters. There were 9 DMs, one of which never played tabletop but was guild leader so yeah.

3. The main DM homebrewed GW2's Revenant class since most players wanted to play it but Antipaladin was too evil. The way it ended was that only like 6 people didn't end up switching characters to be a Revenant since they were completely broken.

But yeah, it was absolute fucking hell. I don't know how anyone thought it was a good idea. It devolved into a hundred Revenants running around the place in completely mismatched levels, gear and challenge rating because none of the DMs could keep track.

In some misguided effort to differentiate between 100 copypaste Mary Sues, they introduced Gestalt rules.

And then everything just broke and lasted for 2 more weeks before the main DM going on a massive spergout, banning half the server and almost all the other DMs.

Fucking hell.

>>54156992
Also, a fuckload of ERP. Probably should've mentioned that but then again it's a given for MMO roleplays.

>>54156992
The hell is this? How long did it last?

For something with 9 DMs and 120 players, how is it not famous?

>>54150700
... Are you literally retarded?

>>54157101
It was around 3 years ago, and lasted 4-ish months. I stopped playing Guild Wars around the time of the fiasco so I have no idea how it all actually ended up.

>>54156992
>>54157084
>>54157256
So wait did the game take place in Guild Wars instead of a tabletop system? How does that work?

>>54157277
No, it was Pathfinder but with a bunch of homebrewed shit to be like GW2, like the broken Revenant class and a fucking awful crafting/transmutation system.

>>54130183
>Trying to play investigation scenario with player who can't see the difference betveen motives, evidences and his own fantasies
>He have quite idiotic fantasies

>>54135546
most groups are circle jerks, at least the ones I've seen. the only times I've seen actual role play is in YouTube games.


>>DM is a writing major

>>54157445
What do you mean by "actual role play"?

>>54157445
I am so sorry for you, anon.

>>54148227
Role playing is a meme now, just have to get used to it

>>54130183
>First game ever
>Get a random message from a friend asking if I'd like to join his online sci-fi space opera-y game
>Game has been running for a few months already, someone dropped out and he wants a new player
>I'm at least acquainted with everyone in the group
>A couple weeks go by as we work out my character
>The player who dropped out was the pilot, so I decide to make a dedicated pilot to fill the role
>Don't really know what I'm doing, so I make a bald, stubbly generic sci-fi action man
>Character can't actually do shit aside from piloting and shooting shotguns
>Try to work out a backstory, but the GM won't tell me shit about the game's setting
>Won't let me read the logs of previous sessions
>Starting to get nervous as shit because it's my very first time RPing
>Finally it's the session where my character is introduced
>GM starts with a solo scene of my character doing stuff
>Panicking because I have no fucking idea what I'm doing
>Eventually it ends, my character joins up with the group
>Nobody really introduces me to anything or anyone, everyone just sort of acts like me and my character have been there all along

Of the four players, only two were bad enough to be really noteworthy.
>One who started every session that I was in with "My character is <somewhere else> napping" and stayed there the whole time. I don't know why he was even in the game.
>The second was rich as fuck and the sole reason we played two sessions in about four months.
>Half the time she was around and just forgot it was game day
>The other half she was suddenly in France or some shit and didn't bother to let us know until game day
>Eventually kick them and get the fuck on with it

We then proceeded to go on a long-ass dungeon crawl for another three or four months before the GM decided to reboot the game. I never even got to pilot and it was the one thing my character was actually good at. I did almost get one of the GM's GMPCs killed one time though, so that was cool.

>>54150676
This doesn't give me a whole lot of hope. A female friend of mine wants to run shadowrun with her friends and invited me for rule support and such. I'm most likely going to be the only man on a table of a new dm and new player who never did any tabletop before.

>>54154112
Link to GM's stream/twitch?

>>54157821
retard

>>54157821
how about you read the fucking replies

>>54150515
Okay, I want yo argue with you but I know I'd be feeding a troll.

>>54157834
>>54157835
Holy shit make your samefagging more obvious why don't you.

>>54157855
Faggot.

>>54157913
>no rebuttal
Knew it.

>>54157685
Convince them that the best way to play is with minimal clothing.

>>54156010
>10 replies already

Are you cheesing ironic?

>>54157918
bruh, I'm not even one of those two. It's just so blatantly obvious you're a moron that everyone wants to call you on it.

But of course, it must be one samefag trolling you, amirite?

>>54157992
>I'm not even one of those two
Nobody believes you, anon.

>>54157855

Those posts are 8 seconds apart.

>>54158010
Everyone except you sees how much of a retard you are.

>>54158010
>get called out for being retarded and not reading the thread
>shitpost desperately to try to save face

Just go.

>>54158015
That's how you can tell anon was so butthurt. Notice the exact same writing style?
>>54158023
>>54158027
HE JUST KEEPS DOING IT!

>>54158010
Different anon here, you look like a newfag twat.
And if you don't believe me, check the IP counter on the bottom right.

>>54158023
>>54158027

Wow, I sure wish I was samefagging this hard all day with a thousand cocks in my mouth.

>>54157457
Trying to be a character instead of a bunch of stats, react to events realistically, take the game seriously. not trying to see who can do the most lolrandumb thing.

I've never been in a game where we managed to stayed in character, I wanted that but my friends never did. after a while I just gave up and decided that's just how they play their game, Not that it was bad, just not what i wanted to play. Deep down I think all they wanted was an excuse to hang out for a couple of hours.

>>54158039
Not that anon but it didn't change.

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>>54158034

:^)

>>54158043
Dude, you're just making a fool of yourself.

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>>54158052
So it didn't.
Guess I posted in this thread and forgot about it.

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>>54158062
Woah nice photoshopping skills man!

>>54158047
There are games that make that sort of thing part of the game mechanics. Hell, even 5E has that inspiration mechanic.

Why not try something like Fiasco where you don't even have a bunch of stats?

>>54158095

I'm a better human being than you by any conceivable metric. :)

>>54158174
What about smugness? Which of you wins there?

>>54158047
The only time I've ever seen groups do this has been in text games. Whenever I see live games, it's always just "I ask the king this" or "My character tells him about the treasure" and shit instead actually saying the dialogue or whatever. Most people I've seen just aren't comfortable with acting things out IRL. I know I sure as shit am not.

>>54156083
It's almost like that system is a novelty store idea never meant to be taken seriously

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>>54154038
>>54154059
>>54154085
>>54154112

https://m.youtube.com/watch?list=PLA6E9F92913CC0AC3&v=XBa5oZn99FU

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>>54158034
even newer anon here
You are a fag
>inb4 nice photoshop

>>54149411
>suddenly, from behind a bush, a wild ocean appears
I'm fucking dead.

>>54158223
Let's not do this.

>>54149411
That guy has a fuckload of potential though.

>>54158174
I'm glad you've admitted it at last. Doesn't that feel better?
>>54158234
See >>54158174.

>>54158223

1000% pure cringelord.

>>54150700
I think you may be stupid anon.

>ITT: Things that never happened

>>54157445
>>DM is a writing major...

The kiss of death for any PnP game!

>>54158593
Are you fifty.

>>54158562
A lot of it sure but some of it is simple and mundane enough to be believable.

>>54157835
>>54157834
You angry 'n butthurt newfags amuse me.

Maybe you should fuck off to /v/

I remember when /tg/ was love.

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>>54130183

>>54158665
retard

I want to FUCK that jester.

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>>54158685
Don't we all?

>>54158695
Nah I ain't gay yet

Every session with my current group.
>GM is a railroady asshole who gets visibly deflated when we try to go off his Adamantium tracks, whom we have to pry descriptions out of, and barely knows the rules
>one player literally asleeps halfway through every single session and contributes little to groups
>other player is a greasy haired weirdo who insists on playing special snowflake characters with super tragic backstories
>third player is younger than us by 4 years, but is the best roleplayer because he actually tries to do more than just be an edgelord
>final player is an "experienced" girl who doesn't even make an effort to roleplay and is pretty much her normal personality while metagaming into oblivion

Where can I find a new group?

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>>54158695

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>>54158725
Go on...

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>>54142648
When all is said and done, he's still a good GM.

>>54158753
What was that one called again? It was kinda cute.

kill jester

>>54158721
play online?

>>54158788
read filename and think if it gives you a hint

>Decide to try Shadowrun after getting interested in the fluff. Existing group won't bite so ask around.
>Ask around, several people interested. Specifically ask if they can stay around for four hours each session
>Go to store and buy the core rulebook at full price now that it sounds like I have a group
>Chat with first guy about how to make a character. He gets the hang of it.
>He comes to the table session 1 with a Dwarf rigger named "John Cena", who wears a fedora.
>During the game he pulls out his iPad and is clearly occupied. When I asked him to stop he insisted that he could do Hearthstone and Shadowrun at the same time.
>Two other guys leave after thirty minutes, citing that they were busy, so we call it there
>Next week no one except me shows up, with only a couple of the guys even bothering to reply to my messages
>End up crawling back to my D&D 4th edition group.

It was disappointing if anything. I feel bad that I wasted my money on the book. Not as bad as what some people have had to deal with though, as it at least fell apart quickly.

>>54158721
>where can i find a new group

look at the magical box-machine in front of you, anon

>>54145342
What's the issue with RIFTS?

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>>54132580
>names him Gandalf
She's great, the one sucking in here is you.

>>54158824
as much as i feel bad for you i dont blame the group
Shadow run (depending on the edition this may or may not be true but i personally know 5th edition)
Is the most fucking strange rule hog of a system
To make a attack with lets say a fucking assault rifle
You go full auto
You decide to hit more then one person
Lets skip the absolute stuff and say you are good enough on recoil to fire those shots
shoot 3 people
Intitate a 5-10 minute long process
Attacker chooses how to defend free defense vs dodge vs full defense
Lets say he goes free defense
you roll to hit roll lets say 5 successes
He rolls reaction+intuition+modifiers (getting a table involved now)
compare results to the attacker he got 3 successes you got 5 5-3 is 2 you have 2 net hits
add net hits (2) to weapon damage and compare damage value to armor and add armor penetration
subtract the damage from the armor
Does it or does it not deplete the armor?
Yes? physical damage
No? stun damage
Lets say it doesn't so we do stun
assault rifle damage is 10 + 2(nethits) - his 20 armor
He has 8 armor left over
Roll body + the remaining armor
each success reduces the damage value by 1 if reduced to zero the attack is stopped if not he takes that much stun damage
Repeat two more times for the remaining people you hit
imagine having a group of 4-6 people
All with burst fire/ full automatic weapons
They are common as fuck and they will want to do this
Shadowrun is gay in so many ways

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>>54158984
>implying you wouldn't

>>54158805
>road to hell

the hell kinda hint is that

>>54159128
>road to hell is ____

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>>54159137
Ah.

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>>54159175

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>>54130183
>playing shitty homebrew system
>about second attempt at playtesting, added a few classes
>one player chooses the new druid class
>1st encounter
>turns into a hawk, and flies a thousand feet in the air
>turns
>into
>a bear
>2d100 crushing damage on that poor sunnuvabitch goblin

i abandoned that system after that

>>54141594
I once ran a game of double cross. Its a japanese game and as a result it sometimes functions on the most asinine of jrpg tropes, which I cranked up to 11.

Nothing like watching everyone get pissed when they defeat the baddies only to lose in a cut scene and watch as they all meander as slowly as possible away while being hard denied by the system itself in doing anything about it.

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>>54132582
In the middle of that. I'm forever DMing except for this one campaign and is in hiatus right now.
Hopefully we can fix the schedule problem soon.

>>54149411
This is ridiculous and silly...

But it does sound like fun.

>>54158605
wut?

>>54159445
You type like a middle-aged mum.

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>>54158942
>What's wrong with RIFTS

Have you even played it?
Have you ever picked up a RIFTS splat book?

Try and look and a rule for anything in any RIFTS book.
Count how many times you run into redundant, contradictory, and half-baked rule-sets.

>>54159549
Now read through any RIFTS book and count how many pieces of equipment fire micro-missiles.

This includes firearms, armor, hats, boomboxes, sneakers, kitchen utensils, end tables, etc...

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>gm gives a bunch of starting talents to characters
>doesn't read the actual talent effects
>when those talents are brought up he goes "I'm houseruling that because I don't like it working like that"
>then proceeds to houserule more shit
>mid one combat encounter
>heretic's autogun rolls a jam
>gm goes "oh autoguns are reliable check the houserules channel"
>a very small (edited) can be seen next to that line with current date and time
>he notices that
>quickly removes it
>“i-it totally was there, I just removed it that's why the date is like that"
>actually had proof he was bullshitting but didn't care enough to bring it up
>just last session he was thinking of making full auto burst a full action because "supression is also a full action" and I'm unsure if he was actually serious in that
And a bonus round
>one player gets their character made by another player
>doesn't spend any of the starting xp
>2 players including that one fall for the "roll to move" joke somebody did
Do people even read rulebooks nowadays
I'd drop the fucking game but I'm still waiting for 2 others to start

>>54159452
You can tell thst from one sentence?

Also, what a strange observation.

>>54159773
It's the strange use of the exclamation mark along with the small quip.

>>54150926
you may enjoy this then https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D4V-7c14-5U

>>54149411
LOS MAGOS DEL TIEMPOOOOOOOOO!

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>>54159233
>2d100 crushing damage
>0d100 falling damage

>>54149411
I'm starting a new game where I'm going to do this. It's not so much a game as a series of one-offs with the same characters. I have deliberately not made a map so that I can do stuff like this. It's not meant to be serious, I have my other game for that.

>>54132582
>two different members of group getting married this summer
>dm lives in fucking Texas
Won't have another session till September

>>54159789
People trying to be slightly more interesting in their typing than the most simple possible verbiage does not automatically imply middle aged person. It implies that they're using their brain just a little.

>>54158991
You don't shoot at more than one target per attack in 5E. It really helps the game go smoothly if you actually read and understand the rules.

>>54159233
With druids, the damage to their wildshape/alt forms rarely carries over in systems.

>>54132612
Kek

>>54154517
I'm not talking about The sacrilegious aspect, which I don't give a shit about, but the sort of power trip the Gm would be on that makes him put that sort of escalation there and have it, to him, make sense.

>>54134497
>>That Guy rolls a transgender elf barbarian and takes a panflute as a starting item
>>never shuts up about the fact that they're trans
>>ever
>>never ever
>>basically beats the entire party over the head with this joke whenever possible
>>takes every opportunity to play 'the song of her people' on his phone
What a dick.

>>it's just Darude - Sandstorm played on a shitty recorder
What a champ.

>>54149411
except for the bullshit explosion lol that sounds like a great campaign.

>>54162616
hehehe i luv that meem too =P =P

>>54141547
Kender.

The big bad at this point in my campaign disguised himself as a kender and travelled with us for the first few sessions fucking everything up. Even though we know he's a caster and not a kender I'll still genocide the little fuckers.

>>54158223
Cringy fat fuck

>>54130183
>Coming in
>No snacks
>GM hits on me even before game starts
>GM is a dude, so am I. No homo and I don't even know the guy.
>Cute GM's sister just gives me glances, doesn't hit on me
>My stomach hurts, I worry brown waterfalls will burst forth, what the hell did I eat
>No other players, some cannot come, some say they'll be late.
Decided to excuse myself and leave before the session even began. GM seemed crestfallen or disappointed in me. I assume.
Somehow never played with them ever again.

>inb4 stories that didn't happen
Maybe - but if it did, I hope you'll get similar creepy "we're about to enter my magical realm, clench your buttocks and strap your studded belts" vibe.

>>54150385
>>54150413
>>54150435
>>54150453
An exchange more hilarious than half of the stories ITT. Chuckling was had.

>>54159789
to be fair, Donald Trump does it too, and he's not a 5 year old woman.

>>54162308
Eldritch Blast.

>>54150700
Either you have a reading comprehension issues, or some mental problems. Whichever it'd be, you should seek help before making opinions about anything more socially complex than "Someone says hello, probably requiring my attention or expecting a greeting back".

>>54165083
You are retarded

>>54150441
You were about to die in a destiny shirt people wouldn't even touch your corpse to read the suicide note

>>54132529
this sounds good tho

>>54165178
Explain, nigga

>>54132529
I have thought of doing something similar my self, but with World of Darkness. Core rule book has everything for base characters. The rest are just for adding monster templates.

The only difference is I would have done what later versions did and converted the morality meter into a sanity one.

>>54161535
People using an exclamation mark in a stupid way does not equal "using their brain just a little". And, anon, that's not what verbiage means.

>>54161535
Or they may not even be native speakers, anon. Imagine that.
The sentence was fine, either way.

>>54150071
>>54150143
>>54150231
>>54150334
>>54150441

Did all of this happen in a Chicago based University per chance? Your group sounds eerily similar to the people who ran the TTRPG Club where I went to school. Like, your descriptions are eerily similar and the only game I ever saw them play was Changeling.

I watched them play one session, realized they were all fucking awful, and never returned.

>>54150686
I can get behind this. and I didn't even bother reading a story that long.