Hello and welcome to The Ivory Shark. This here place is for

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>>54070515
Juuust gonna stick to the deepest shadow with a drink and hope no one's noticing.

>>54070515
I suppose a drink is in my own enlightened self interest

>>54070684
Well alright then. What'll you have? We've got ale, wine,maybe you'd like a glass of milk.
>>54070662
Don't you steal nothing

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>>54070515
*sets ur inn on fire*

>>54070721
A glass of ale would be fine thank you

>>54070515
Good day, sir. You wouldn't happen to sell any lavender tea here, by chance?

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>>54070515
*Sigh* Times are tough.

>>54070794
Godsdamnit.
>>54070804
>Slides a wooden cup of ale towards you
>>54070807
No I don't. If I had it in stock I would though.
>>54070867
That they are. Least we can all have a good mug together eh?

>>54070914
Ah, that's quite disappointing. Just a cup of water then, if you please.
[Long pause]
Actually, come to think of it, I am quite the tea maker, and I would be happy to give you my special recipe. I'm told it's quite good, and some even say it helps with hangovers.

>>54070999
Great! Do tell me what it is.

>>54071093
Of course, if you give me but a moment, I'll write it down for you.
[You are handed a scrap of paper with a recipe that calls for a few common herbs and some salt a short time later]
Here you are, I hope you and your patrons enjoy it.

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>>54070515
Good sir, you simply must allow me to rebuild this structure. I only see 4 dark corners for adventurers to lounge in. I like to build my taverns in a starburst shape, so as to maximize my adventuring clientele. You may have heard of my last bar, the Nova?

>>54070515
I roll to stab the bartender

>>54071220
Many thanks.
>>54071232
No I have not. You got a permit to build?

>>54071249
Rollin to stab bartender

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>>54071249
I really need some guards here.

>>54071287
[The weapon is casually swatted from your hand with a walking stick]
Do not try that again. I would prefer not to resolve this with violence, but I will if you keep this up.

>>54071367
Throw cloak at this fag. Then...
Pull pins on grenades, grab bartender.
ALLAHU ACKBAR

>>54071251
Of course, my good man! I was trained in a great many areas during my time in the academy. Tis a shame the war broke out, I never did finish that dentistry class. Now all that anyone desires from me is walls of flame and lightning. Never am I called for my intellect or knowledge of fine cheeses.

>>54071826
Hrm...alright build if you want.

>>54070515
What the fuck is a shark.

>>54071953
Barkeep how you survive grenadez. Yo ass is dead.

>>54071964
It's...its like a crocodile and a fish combined.

>>54071976
They were all duds, obviously. That's what you get for buying the cheapest ones you could find.

>>54071976
Saving him was in my own enlightened rational self interest. And I always act according to my own enlightened rational self interest

Excuse me, could I get something light please?

>>54071232
Ah, it's good to see another wizard for once. If I may ask, what is the design of your clothes? They don't seem to be of any order I recognise.

>>54072622
Ehh...We've got cider. Is that good?

>>54073023
Of course, what sort is it? I've become rather partial to dwarven brews lately.

>>54072622
I am a student of the 2nd Order of the Steel Spire. Sadly, such robes tend to draw a lot of attention on the battlefield, and as such I am often pressed to dress in less conspicuous clothing. I still carry their emblem with me, even if the spire itself has been lost to the ravages of war.

>>54073227
Elven cider made from some kind of root.

>>54073230
Oh my, I've heard that tale, it's an awful shame such knowledge was lost. Apparently they had technology beyond that of the most ingenious tinkerer on a huge scale. Is it true?

>>54073424
Thank you kindly, barkeep.

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>>54070515
Bard here! Any musical requests to entertain the crowd tonight?

>>54073588
Somewhat. My order believes, *sigh* believed, that knowledge is a gift to be spread with the world, and worked hard to preserve the knowledge of lost ages, while further enriching it. Some of the stories, like that of an advanced version of the aeliopile, which turns heat into mechanical power, are true, others I've heard are distinctly false, such as the rumor that we'd managed to create a nonmagical flying machine that propelled itself by flapping wings. What about yourself? From whom did you receive your training?

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*Heavy Breathing*

"Beer..."

>>54073853
>Places a large mug of beer on front pf you
Just don't...do something evil

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>>54074044
"Agreed"

Rolled 13, 7 = 20 (2d20)

>>54074044
I roll to grapple

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>>54074137
"Think carefully, mortal."

Rolled 1, 16, 7 + 4 = 28 (3d20 + 4)

>>54074137
I now roll to pin

>>54073682
Play Alabama Nigger.

>>54073830
I taught myself actually. Back where I lived there was a huge library full of information on all sorts of topics. I scraped together what information on there was on magic (whilst learning a whole host of utterly useless titbits) and learned the basics from that. Simple manipulation of materials, inert force, you get the idea. After a bit of an 'incident' I ended travelling with a few others and from the things we found figured out various other magics, applying the fundamentals of what I knew to other concepts. Starting from a simple mending charm I was able to progress to creating basic object from scratch, and other such things.

Have you ever thought about reclaiming or even rediscovering that knowledge? The aeolipile in particular sound fascinating, it's quite close to my own current field of research as well.

>>54074237
Can do!
https://youtu.be/YCZJi3Z0ihQ

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Welp.

>>54074306
Back again I see.

>>54074292
I will sing along!

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>>54074204
"Do you value your life?"

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>>54070662
Hey you!...Yes you! In the corner! I see you!

>>54074324
well my party fought the local orc camp and it didn't go well, the orc didn't want me since i was "too alcoholised to be cooked"
anyway your pint of beer is still 50 bronze coin ?

>>54074242
Sadly, when the hordes took our library they set off stone burner bombs; less than 5% of our archives were recovered. I don't doubt there are a scraps left to pick in the rubble, but it would be hard work, buried under the remains of the tower. Besides which, the ruins lie deep behind enemy lines. You say you're self taught? That's impressive. It took me years to pick up even the basics of magic, and that's with some of the best teachers in the realm. Tell me about your research thus far. We'd been planning on using our aeolipile design to pump fresh air into mines.

>>54073682
I don't suppose you know the tale of Alaric's copper flask? It is a favorite of mine as it reminds me of better days.

>>54074399
It's the best ale for miles.

>>54074430
Sorry, never heard of it. If you know the lyrics I can try to play a melody to accompany it.

>>54074447
Nametag fell off sorry

>>54074361
Eep!

I-I'm not looking for any trouble, I just want to drink in peace, please leave me alone.

>>54074447
another one then !
also how did you get that fancy statue ?

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>>54074460
Ayyo missa batenda cracka can i havuh beer

>>54074470
Made it myself out of the tusks of a dead Loxodon. If you don't know what those are, I don't blame you. They're these odd beastfolk with the body of a elephant.

>>54074514
I don't serve beastfolk.

>>54074555
Sheeeeeitt

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>>54070515
>How...
Enters through the roof window
>How good...
Slow falls onto a table between a dark corner and a noisy table with drunk Half-Orcs.
>How good is your...
Catches the ale the Half-Orcs threw, chugs it down and throws the emty bottles back at them.
>How good is your mead and...
Dodges the Fireball thrown by the Kobold Warlock.
>How good is your mead and wine?
Knocks out the troublemakers, puts out the flames and sits down at the counter.

>>54074651
It's so strong only adventurers can stomach it.

>>54074430
There hasn't been much progress thus far as I have precious little to go off but I've been looking at the construction of golems and a way to improve them. From what I know they're horribly expensive to produce and some can take a matter of years to create. I have a few basic designs drawn up but I'd need to inspect an actual golem and the schematics for such and find out how they work. The only problem is, due to the aforementioned problems, golems are extremely rare so I doubt I'll see much success any time soon.
That aeolipile sounds like it could be a good power source for such a construct, it may be possible to get it to work in tandem with their normal source, whatever that may be.

>>54070515
Is there seating for little folk, or should I come back with a ladder?

>>54074771
Climb a stool.

>>54074351
According the free market the value of an average human life is 50 ducats

>>54074794
I come back with a group of feral darkies.

Ayyo crackas gime al yo shets rit nao.
I punch the barkeep.

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>>54074873
Huh, flattering. My old crew sold lackeys like you for about 20 a piece. Of course, those times are behind me.
>>54075015
These fellows are worth about 12

>>54075047
I am no lackey
I am no mans slave
I serve only myself

>>54075140
Really? Because it seems to me you are controlled by this "enlightened rational self interest" you like to remind us of. Besides, no one called you a slave or accused you of servitude. Yet.

>>54074555
Kek

>>54075179
I suppose you could argue that
but if you not a slave to your own interest what are you? slave to other's interests ? disgraceful

>>54075260
I serve the interests of chivalry and righteousness now. If you find no value in any interest but your own, what drive do you have? Why do you fight?

>>54075305
to prevent others from chaining me
to prevent the weak from dragging the strong down with them
let each man look out for themselves
let each man do only what helps them
that is true freedom that is true justice that is true good

>>54074698
Hmm, that IS an interesting proposition. I may be able to call up some of the schematics, I was helping with the project myself, albeit as an aide, rather than a proper researcher. *Iskander pulls out a massive locked ledger from his pack, unlocks it and rifles through it* I think, however, you will probably be somewhat disappointed. Our design, while adequate for pumping out mines, was bulky and lacked the pressure needed to make it practical for small, high output, endeavors. In theory, it is quite possible, but it might require some rather exotic metalworking techniques. At the very least, I would suggest a magical heat source, we used to punish ill behaved apprentices by forcing them to chop the wood for our project model. AHA *having apparently found what he is searching for, Iskander sticks his arm INTO the book up to his shoulder, and rummages briefly before pulling out several pages of mildly singed notes* I hope these can help you. Sadly, I can't let you keep them, but you are welcome to copy everything I have.

>>54074555
But you served that asshole in the corner! >>54070662

>>54075385
Nay, friend. That is true selfishness. If one has no friend, what is he but an icon of selfishness? I may agree that each man shall do only what helps him, but why must one find no fellowship in that endeavor?

>>54075425
we shall be brothers in selfishness
for each man doing the best for themselves will in the end be the best for all of us together

Rolled 2, 20 = 22 (2d20)

>>54074351
I unzip pants and roll for penetration

>>54075524
DAT CRIT
I'M GOING IN DRY TOO

>>54074114
>>54074137
>>54074171
>>54074204
>>54074351

Truly a sad day when the dead are more civilized than the living

>>54075539
I start to cheer and offer bets.
2:1 the skeleton wins

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>>54075524
*laughs as the fool manages to impale himself on a hatrack*

>>54075524
>fails the unzip roll
>thinks he can still do anything just because the second roll he shouldn't have made was a crit
Someone doesn't actually play D&D.

>>54075579
"I have lived for over 3,000 years, wiped out entire bloodlines, dueled and debated gods, dethroned arch-demons, created and destroyed races, but never has a man grappled my beer, until now."

>>54075406
Ah, this really is quite something. It may not be possible to output quick bursts of movement with this, but this could power a large, slow-moving construct. If it were possible to create a constant source of intense heat this could work, any metalworking would be a cinch just so long as I know exactly how it should be formed.

This might be mad but, do you think a portal could work? I mean, a stabilised, mobile, tiny portal to a plane of pure fire. It would provide exactly what this would need, it's just how to create it and get it stable that's the problem, and I'm no expert on portals and the like. What do you think?

>>54075420
No I didnt. I'm letting him sit there and making sure he doesn't steal anything.

>>54075746
*raises a mostly empty flagon of ale in salute* Fair enough, fell one.
>>54075752
I hadn't considered that. It's certainly worth looking into more. Alternatively, you might consider linite, either for the heat source, or condensation coils, depending on which variety you have access to. The worry I'd have about a portable portal is that something might come through. Certainly not a fire elemental, as they despise the very concept of water, but not everything that lives on the plane of fire is so constrained.
>>54074794
*slides a coin across the bar* Barkeep, another ale if you will.

>>54075971
Sorry, dropped my hat there for a moment.

>>54073424
Can I get some cider as well, sir?

>>54075971
Of course.
>The Barkeeper sails a mug across the bar towards you
>>54076102
Here you go lass.
>The Barkeeper puts down a jug of cider close to her

>>54075971
I must confess I haven't heard of either linite not condensation coils, what are they? It should be fairly simple to perform some form of binding ritual to restrict living beings from passing through the portal right? Saying that, I have very little idea of how portals and the like work, I would have to ask a practitioner of the art.

>>54076102
Good choice, it's a delight. Another please, barkeep.

>>54076242
Much obliged, good sir.
Do you by any chance know who's John Galt?

>>54076242
It sure is! The stars are lovely tonight, aren't they?

>>54076242
Yep.
>The Barkeeper grabs a jug of cider off the shelf and places it infront of you

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>>54070515
My good man, pass me some o' dat good stuff *smacks lips* and ensure my cup overunneth.
Here: *twists off comically huge ring*. This ought to count as payment in this little slice of Babylon.
I am an abomination in the eyes of the LORD.

>>54076356
I'd ask you to leave but you scare me too much to speak up. Just don't steal anything.
>Grabs a large ale and passes it to you

>>54076356
That's a nice pair of wings you got there.

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>>54076312
"You..."

>>54076312
They certainly are, I've always wanted to see one up close but I fear that may never be possible.

>>54076242
My apologies. I tend to embrace technical jargon overly much. Linite is an exotic metal that is almost certainly of magical origin. It is found in 2 varieties that I am aware of. The first is always dangerously hot to the touch, and, given enough time, will start to boil water. The other variety is freezing cold, and will ice over a container that it is in. Condensation coils are used to collect the water from the device (via cooling), so that it might be reused. Without coils, an aeolipile must be periodically refilled with water in order to run, but I suppose that might be overcome with a minuscule portal to the plane of water. Alternatively, something along the lines of an endless flagon connected to a water wheel might work, if you simply wish to harvest mechanical force.

>>54076312
I am john galt
why?

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>>54076536
"Don't ignore me, Glacia. Your theft of my Northern Keep will not go unpayed."

>>54076446
Ah, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Ja love and all that...jazz. *swallows tankard*
That is a drink to which I say: "yo!". You will take my chain. *removes one of his three thousand golden chains*
>>54076536
Oh yes, magnificent. Stolen, of course. I am a negro, and that is what we negroes do.
*black paint starts peeling*

>>54076569
"You" what? "Y-you too?" I hear this a lot from guys.

>>54076592
Sometimes I look at the stars and wonder too. They're also very different here than from where I'm from. I don't know why.

>>54076672
I heard some people talking about you. They seemed to have the same question I had.

>>54076683
Unpaid, you uncouth youth. Yes, I know how you spelt it. No, I don't care that we're speaking. You think you can hide your lacklustre literacy from a cushion of G-D?

Uh, my nigger.

>>54076732
>>54076683
"Pay up now ice-wrench."

>>54076620
There certainly is something amusing about a pair of linked portal constantly pouring forth fire and water just for the sake of power, but the linite sounds much more feasible. Would it be possible, if you used only a little, for the cold variety to be used in place of those condensation coils?

>>54076683
Please please, take your arguments outside. This is a place to relax or make merry, not a debating chamber.

>>54076683
"Theft" is a strong word. I was merely reclaiming the lands that rightfully belong to my family.

>>54076698
I don't see people of your complexion up north. Why is that?

>>54076732
I am a man
and I am a business
and I am a creator of value when so many others just take
and I am a philosopher
and a Philosophy

Which of this is me?
Who is John Galt?

>>54076772
"Stay out of this, treasure god."

>>54076732
What do you mean? How do they look different in your lands?

>>54076698
Thanks.

>>54076792
"My keep held years of my research. All of it; destroyed by your frost. How do you plea?"

>>54076792
Well, uh *starts sweating* the snow...falling...upon the, uh, *brown* earth represents the continual repression of the black man by the white man. Yes. This angers my senpaitachi, who have decreed that no man of civilisation should ever walk your lands. Believe me, I am shaking my head.
*the paint starts running from all the sweat*
Ah, my deepest apologies, hoe, but now I must return. My spaceship is waiting.

>>54076832
There's new stars I never saw in the North and the ones I know don't follow the path they do back home.

>>54076875
"My keep", you mean. Search it again, aberration. You have the whole of eternity to do so.

>>54076924
That's very informative! Good trip to you, wherever you're going.

>>54076784
I would think so, but I'm a bit too drunk to trust my calculations at the moment. Mind you, that sentiment was not always shared by by brothers. You should have seen Rudolphus trying to provide that astronomy lecture 11 drinks under. Nothing like watching a drunkard trying to pronounce "syzygy"

>>54076875
*winces* I can certainly sympathize with that.

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>>54076983
"Prove my research hasn't been destroyed. My time is as valuable as a God's synthesized immortality."

>>54077036
As you said, it's frozen. If you're careful, you can remove the ice without destroying the texts. But I can't assure you sizeable chunks haven't been irrevocably lost.
If you weren't a cheap squatter and had actually bought your land first, we wouldn't have this unfortunate situation now, would we?

>>54076996
I've had to deal with a drunk dwarf trying to pronounce simple words for quite some time, I can only imagine how difficult understanding a drunken astronomer would be.

>>54076983
Perhaps they follow the same path, you're just seeing them from a different angle, so the path looks odd.

>>54077036
While I sympathize with your frustration with your genius being impaired by the grasping fools trying to drag you down if you start I fight I will use the power of the invisible hand to turn undead

>>54077166
That... does make sense. Thank you for this great insight.

>>54077190
He was in my rightful lawn, I was merely physically removing him, so to speak.

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>>54077139
"I am not without mercy. If you assist in recovering my research, I will pay with this:"

*removes pic related from robes.*

>>54077308
I can remove the ice and humidity with the necessary care, but I fail to see why this skull should grasp my interest.

>>54077342
it is likely in your own self interest to not make murdering you in an ancient lich's self interest
getting paid just sweetens the deal

>>54077342
"The artifact is not a simple burial skull of some mountain sage, it is the skull of Dah'Ara Buddha, first of the Te'Gehar. Other than being a holy relic, it is of great value to many willing to buy it."

I must take my leave now. Iskander, it was a pleasure to talk with you. You too, Glacia. Hopefully I can find this place again soon.

>>54077401
I know this is all a big mess for you, but maybe the contents of this note this will cheer you up.
*it's a recipe for Dwarven shortbread*

>>54077451
"Intriguing..."

>>54077401
This skull seems like trouble, which could drawn many a ungrateful visitor. Nevertheless, it would be a good addition to my family's collection.
I'd be glad to aid you in the recovery. I'll take my leave for tonight, but you can find me come tomorrow morning so we can discuss the specifics of this task.

>>54077797
"Agreed."

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Hey Barkeep, do you have any hopknockers here?

>>54078167
No

Oi' mait, mista barkeeper sir,

how muc' for a pint 0o' piss for alob us?

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>>54078494
forgot pic

>>54078494
I don't serve peasants

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Just a pint of ale for an old weary traveler. You've got a nice inn here.

>>54078784
>Grabs a mug and fills it before passing it to you
Thanks.

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>>54078749
uwaa? bu' we have money we do, see!

>the group of peasents leave the bar for a moment and return with with a bag of raddishes and dumps them all on the floor. there is no coin in sight

see, 'ard working we lot are.

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Oh, um, excuse me? Is this the take-out window?

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We's here on shore leave, but the damn brass said we gotta keep wearin our armor. Anyway, can I get a pint for me and my mate here?

>>54078802
>he pays the requisite amount and smiles before taking a pull from his pint

>>54078819
Leave.
>>54078849
Depends. You got money?
>>54078854
>Grabs two mugs of ale and puts them near you
Enjoy

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>>54078892
b-but why sir, he have money

>>54078922
LEAVE.

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>>54078892
Who do you think your talking to? I'm a dragon! I have mountains of gold... stashed away. Do you have a tab system here, by any chance?

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>>54078922
JUST GIVE US OUR BEAR OLD MAD

>>54078956
Sir, do you need my mate and I to drag these lads out? Damn peasants just stinkin up the place

>>54078982
>He sighs
Fine but only if you stick around. Adventurers would love to meet a dragon.
>>54079001
Please do.

>>54078991
Alright peasants. I'm Troop Tarn and this is Trooper James. We're with the Imperial Guard. If you don't walk out now, we'll drag you outside and kick your fuckin teeth in. Got it?

>>54079064
Okay, sure. As long as they don't touch me.

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>>54079097
oi mate, mind tellin us what the bloody 'el a "imperial guards man", and whats that peculiar green thing staped to ur back?

>>54070515
oy vey, how do i jew these drunk goyims

>>54079147
>he thinks for a moment, coming up with a way to spook the peasants

We're soldiers of the lord of your lord's lord. As for the device on my back? Well...let's just say it's a magic device. I can use it to make your head explode. But I ain't, because I don't want to kill you, honest. You seem like a hard working lot, just a bit thick.

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>>54079212
Lords lords lo- hu? how? wha?

-eeeeeehhhhhhhhh- roighty than, well leave, want no bad harvest from the gods, no sirree.

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>>54079319
*Drunkenly*

"Hey, wanna buy some magic?"

>>54079382
the hord of peasants panic and scatters in fear after seeing such a ghastly entity

>>54079454
"Meh," BURP! "Their loss."

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J'ai besoin de tout votre stock de denrées alimentaires pour mes hommes. Fournissez ce que nous désirons ou nous le prendrons par la force. Nous avons des fonds suffisants pour payer après avoir licencié cette ville sur la route.

>>54077451
A pleasure speaking with you as well, Chivay. My apologies for going silent earlier, I was sent an urgent message from a compatriot that I had to attend to. I hope to meet you again in the future.

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"H͇̫̟͇͔̳͇̄ͤA̸̟̝͙̎̏̀ͨͮ͐̒̂̀N̯̻͕̘̦̹ͨ̓D̸̼̬͍̭̭͕̠͙͖ͦͭ̃͑͋̒̂͑̕ ̝̃ͭ̿ͩͤ͗̀ͪ͡M͈̫̩͎̖͈̉̓E̢̨̮͚͙ͨ͛͒͒ͤ͊͂̚ ̼̞̮̹ͨͯ̾̈́ͮ͗Y̶̨̹̘͚̼̦̩̊̀ͯȮ̪̪̥̭͓̱͕͕͕̓͒ͩͭ̕̕U͉͔̹̟̙͕̽ͭ͗̏͐ͪ͂̊͜͠͞R̷̟̭̜͈͕̣͉̜̫̓͆̃̓ͪ̀̀ ͇͇̱̈́̒͋̑̈́ͮ̈F̦̯̘̭̘͙͑͆̒̍̎̎̉̆I̴̢͓̯̖̜̪̝̓ͫ̿͘ͅN̡̙͔̤̹͗͒̿̋̒ͮ̾ͯ͠͞ͅĘ̖̠͆̾̉ͩͮ̐͋ͨ͟Ś̛̮̟͚ͯ͛ͅT̳̻̟͕̜̾̍͝ ̧̖͙̭͉͉͖̮̚͢W̵͖̜̟̫̳̗͖͕͂̓͐̂ͪͬ̄̀ͅḬ̼͙͚̼͙̋͗͛́̑͡N͈͈̩͔̯̖ͨ͠ͅĘ̜̠̹̏̂̓͟"