This is a standard orc ration

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This is a standard elf ration

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This is a standard human ration

>>54057553
keep posting, very interesting desu

>>54057553
what is that map?

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This is a standard lizardfolk ration

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This is a standard gnome ration

>>54057553
>>54057582
>>54057615
Gosh. I never knew the main humanoid races had to eat coins everyday!

>>54057650
waterdeep is forgotten realms right?

>>54057553
Yes, we saw this thread the last few times it was made.

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This is a standard half-orc ration

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This is a standard halfling ration

I had no idea so many races ate dog turds.

>>54057652
yummy frog legs

>>54057787
I believe those are sausages, since they're pretty cheap and last a long time

>>54057761
by far the tastiest

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This is a standard drow ration

>>54057553
That's far too much meat to be an orc ration. And the bread isn't nearly maggoty enough.

>>54057886
That's racist

>>54057975
>has a golden opportunity to make a LotR joke
>goes for the lamest reply
>doesn't even misspell it correctly

>inb4 the standard Dwarven ration is a single, purple mushroom and a full cat

>>54058052
>not 2cat

>>54057885
>carrying a chalice of wine around everywhere

fucking Drow.

>>54057553
Stuffed habaneros? Holy fuck, I'm sweating looking at them.

>>54057761
There's no way a halfling is eating all of that in one sitting.

>>54057553
Bones are not tasty

>>54057553
>this is a copypasta thread

>>54057761
That's not a standard halfling ration. That's a standard halfling snack.

>>54058165
good to chew on I guess

>>54058157
You underestimate how much of a fat fuck a Halfling can be.

>>54058157
There's no way a halfling isn't eating that within the first 30 minutes of the trip. They're fucking hobbits with the serials filed off.

>>54058410
^This,
Your average halfling will eat its own body-weight twice over in a single day. All those other races rations? Stolen and eaten by the hairy-toed pikey.

>>54058486
You give it 30 minutes? So the party has set off immediately after second lunch then.

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>>54058157
You are seriously mistaken

>>54058520
>No post dinner nosh and miss night snack.
Do you even Hobbit?

>>54058165
Bone marrow is tasty

>>54058619
Maybe its an anorexic hobbit. Some of those must exist, right?

>>54058619
Hey now, this is an adventure they're going on. It's lean times for everyone man. We all have to tighten our belts a little.

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This is a standard dwarf ration.

>>54057697
It's so when we get mugged on the way to town, we still have the coin for a night at the tavern.

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This is a standard Gnoll ration.

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This is a standard minotaur ration.

>>54058887
Isn't that like cannibalism. Eating beef and all that?

>>54058887
>aroused female Minotaur pussy on a bun

>>54058962
Fucking kek!

>>54057885

The thumbnail led me to believe it would just be a bunch of things with spiders crammed in. Even though I knew it wasn't, I was disappointed.

>>54058962

>fucked male minotaur asshole on a bun

Everyone knows Greek myths are gay.

>>54058994
I had that same thought the first time this thread was made.

>>54059002
Not the Minotaur, tho.

...at least...I don't think so? Or did it rape/eat every sacrifice regardless of gender?

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This is a Lich ration

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This is a standard ration for a cultist/demon of slaanesh

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>>54058887

Do you want mad cow? Because that's how you get mad cow!

>>54059031

I mean, if you were trapped alone in a labyrinth for all your life, how picky would you be?

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>>54059072
Well, I mean, there'd be dry cum on, like, everything...

Though I suppose, if it had long hair and a soft, nubile body...

>>54059069
cooking doesn't deform the prions that results in mad cow.

>>54059151
I don't think that's what he meant.

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>>54057761
No this is a standard halfling ration

>>54057885
Why would they carry around a chalice instead of a flask?

I thought the point of rations was to be portable.

>>54059293
They're drow. They don't care about actual efficiency, they care about ostentatious displays of power.

And also spiders.

>>54059293
Maybe they carry it in a flask but only drink from the chalice?

>>54059293
Drink it from the bottle like a goddamn field hand?

>>54057885
Drow eat amethyst? Christ.

>>54059438
I think thats the currency used to buy it, like in the other photos

>>54059446
>having to lug sacks of amethyst around to pay for things
>Having to break up pieces of gems to pay for small things
Not a good currency.

>>54059508
That's what slaves are for.

>>54057886
WE 'AVENT 'AD A RATION LIKE THAT IN THREE STINKIN' DAYS

>>54058984
You the same guy from the sun god thread?

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>>54059527

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>>54059188

>>54057686
needs turnips

>>54058984
Oh yea. i always forget to remove the name once i go on other threads. look real dumb when i do. shame the thread got hammered early.

>>54057686
is that pistachio shortbread from the WoW cookbook?

I know this is good fun and that's pretty food

So it's time to be a fucking autist, because that's what /tg/ is.

This isn't how rations worked. You're more likely to have some very dry, hard bread or biscuit, a hunk of cheese, and a pound of meat which will usually take the form of salted pork or salted fish or jerky. Some of these come close but are entirely too 'fancy', your average footsoldier wouldn't be this well provisioned.

These could pass as a knight, lord, or chieftans rations though.

>>54057739
That looks pretty good.

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>>54057553
This is a standard troll ration

>>54059724
>pound of meat
>pound

any meat at all was a fantastic treat for the medieval underclass (the majority of people) and even soldiers usually wouldn't have been provided any extra meat except on special occasions (or if they stole it)

Granted, this varies wildly by time and place, but I will insist that even preserved meat wouldn't have been provided to soldiers daily for much of the so-called dark ages.

>>54059828
your likely correct as my pound of meat bit is a number taken from the 1700's

>>54058619
Nonsense. An extra pint of beer ont he way to bed. What sensible hobbit would be up past seven thirty when you've got to be up in time for breakfast the next day?

>>54057885

>Drow eat Century Eggs

Gross.

>>54057739
Best so far.

>>54059853
The "pound of meat" thing is also, to some extent, an ahistorical meme perpetrated by people trying to market fad diets. I've seen claims by dietitians that Roman soldiers were provided a pound of meat a day, which is totally unsupported by any evidence we have on the subject. (they had a grain ration and probably hunted for their own meat)

>>54059360
That cuts down on available space though. A piece like that wouldn't do well in a pack on its own; it would need its own travel case.

>>54059371
If you're eating rations you're on par with a field hand. You don't get to pretend you aren't unless you have your own set of squires and manservants to carry your luxuries.

>>54057652
Lizardfolk plating skills are top tier.

>>54059724
>>54059853
>pound of meat

I mean the Beefeaters or "The Yeomen Warders of Her Majesty's Royal Palace and Fortress the Tower of London, and Members of the Sovereign's Body Guard of the Yeoman Guard Extraordinary" if you want to be pedantic, did get a fair amount of meat. but they where royal guards.

>>54060059
They seem to posess more fucking style and culture that those Drow wannabes.

>>54057553
>>54057582
>>54057615
These are actually typical of legitimate meal offerings at high-end LARP-ing events. The orc ration is like $50, the Elf one is the vegetarian option and is $25, and the human one is $15.

>>54059976

American soldiers during the Revolutionary War were promised a pound of meat and a pound of bread each day. They didn't actually get it, but it must have been at least a plausible goal back then,

>>54060361
>The orc ration is like $50,
A bone with no meat on it is $50?!?!

>>54060635
Price by weight is a hell of a thing

>>54058943
They're only half cow.

>>54060384
yeah, that's pretty modern, though

also the revs famously starved several times

Before refrigeration (20th century) or canning (19th century), the only way you could have meat provided on that scale would be to drive cattle behind the troops and have cattlemen to tend them, or to supply salted rations. I dunno if you've ever eaten salt-pork or beef, but it's pretty fucking disgusting to eat straight. (it's salty as fuck, lol). Civil war soldiers famously ate theirs by making a soup of their hard bread and saltmeat.

That all said, this is why time and place is so important. The soldiers of the civil war ate so exceptionally poorly because of the unprecedented mobilization of troops. Millions of men had to be fed. It's easy to imagine that, say, an elite mercenary company of 100-200 men could have fed themselves really, really well while on campaign, even hundreds of years earlier than the civil war.

>>54060064
Fish or salted pork was pretty commonly given to western armies. Both were cheap, easy to produce, and kept for a long while.

In the Americas they'd also include pemmican when it was available.

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>>54058823
Fuckin' got me, man.

>>54057553
>>54057582
>>54057615
>>54057652
>>54057686
>>54057739
>>54057761
>>54057885
I want to cook all of these.

>>54060866
>the revs famously starved several times
That was because none of the states wanted to help fund the army and the confederation had no way to make them.

The British did laugh because they used corn and cornmeal, which was seen by them as something you'd feed livestock, instead of wheat.

>>54059188
...I want it.

>>54059188
What do they get for second breakfast? Elevensies? Luncheon? Afternoon tea? Dinner? Supper?

Is this a /tg/ food thread? I haven't seen the Dragon's Crown poster yet, so I can't be 100%.

I'm running a game come the fall and so I've got plenty of time to prep, and I want to get the players invested in the theme by giving them a meal from the first inn they visit.

Motif I was thinking was that they arrive in the middle of the night and there's not a whole lot left. What's some relatively simple alcohol and a single dish that would logically still be on hand at like 1:30 in the morning at an inn?

>>54060949
yeah, totally

I went off on a tangent thinking about logistical concerns for historical armies, which are pretty independent of what an "Adventurer's ration" might be.

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This is a standard Dwarf ration

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>>54061005
>What's some relatively simple alcohol and a single dish that would logically still be on hand at like 1:30 in the morning at an inn?
Ale in a bucket and soup made from all the evening's leftovers, simmering slowly so that it doesn't spoil.

>>54061005
Ale is always going to be available at a tavern no matter what time of day it is, and as far as food goes I'd say a good tavern will always have a cauldron of perpetual stew bubbling over the fire, even if the fire has died down to embers.

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This is a standard halfling ration

>>54061081
>>54061083
>hivemind

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Why does no-one use apples, onions and turnips in their rations? They were some of the most common road foods because they preserved so well.

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>>54061092

>>54061005
Stoo.
> What kind?
The hot kind.
> Well, what's in it?
A wholesome base of Stoo avec eat-it-or-stay-hungry.

>>54061081
>>54061083
Mostly what I was thinking. Someone was gonna be up to watch the fire anyway, and that's when I'd start the session 0/1 hybrid thing I'd planned. They're mostly new players to the game, or at least to mostly random beer and pretzel stuff, so I figured I'd get them in the spirit of things with maximum immersion.

Those suggestions on the table, I'll probably go with something with a lamb base, since mutton isn't the most common thing in my part of the world, and lager instead of ale, for worldbuilding reasons

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>>54061005
Did someone say Dragon's Crown?

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This is a standard golem ration

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>>54061185

>>54057885
>that thousand year egg

I'm going to get PTSD of the fucking Ashens video. Is that seriously shit people eat OFTEN?

>>54057885
That is so fucking fitting it isn't even funny

>Drow brings geodes, a goblet, and black rose petals in each ration pouch
>Just for fucking ambiance

>>54057697
to pay for their daily whore allotment.

>>54061229
those are mushrooms, not rosepetals

>>54059984
They're fucking drow. Do you think any of those degenerate assholes go anywhere without slaves?

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>>54057553
I guess I'm an orc. I have fun picking all the meat on leftover eisnbein. I crunch all the softer parts of the bones.

I have been picking all meat on bones since I had teeth. My dad took a picture of me having fun with a rib once, leaving nothing for the dog.

I also remember /tg/ freaking once because I said I ate raw meat sometimes.

>>54059508
>drow being efficient and logical

>>54061271
That depends a lot on the type of meat. As long as it's not chicken or ground beef it could be okay

>>54061242
That...actually makes sense. Army camps usually had an army of followers who did everything from laundry to equipment maintenance to prostitution for the soldiers.

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>>54061212
>Is that seriously shit people eat OFTEN?
Chinese eat century eggs very often.

I don't like the taste of pickled eggs at all.

>>54061294
>not ground beef
>not eating carpaccio or tartare

utter pleb

>>54058681
Nooooo diabeeto!

>>54058887
see this sandwich?
what does it remind you of?

>perishable, fragile, or otherwise difficult to transport food with a short shelf life
>rations

Wew

>>54058962
god dammit, i was trying to be subtle!

>>54058887
Obviously a drow ration for male slaves. kek it reminds them of home!

>>54061294
Well, not okay then. Although I don't get why people freak out so much about it, saying I should be sick or something. Is that a thing americans or europeans learn at home?

>>54061323
Someone of crude yet sophisticated taste.

>>54061171
I'd also get a small loaf of rustic bread and let it sit on the counter so it goes a little stale, give them some authenticity

>>54059188
makes me want to eat halflings..meals.

>>54057697
Jews.

>>54059188
I'd be eating like, 10 of those things everyday.

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>>54057615
This is a standard human ration

>>54061389
These are "trail" rations, they're not meant to last more than a couple of days. Hard rations are the ones that contain non-perishables like jerky and hard tack.

>>54060076
>Drow goes to a restaurant that requires reservations 2 years in advance.
>Orders kobe filet mignon with caviar and truffle oil
>Sends it back because the meat is pink inside

This is a standard PC at my table.

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>>54061499
You mean 'Murrican.

>>54061557
What in the mother fuck is that horrid looking abomination

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>>54061557
>>54061499

>>54061574
Apple pie baked into a vanilla cake covered by a blueberry pie baked into a blue cake covered by a cherry pie baked into a red cake all covered in American flags.

>>54061531
>ordering a kobe filet mignon
Pointless

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>>54061577

>>54061577
Remember, it's charred on the outside because of the spices and sauce.

>>54061426
Nah, I'll get a little fancy and do a bread bowl.

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>>54061574

It's your superior, address it with respek!

>>54061609
And char-grilled flavoring is delicious and if you don't think so, you're a faggot who probably uses a propane, or worse, one of them yuppy-ass-faggot infrared grills.

>>54057697
They do it to hide their valuables in the event of an emergency.

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>>54061577
>not posting superior version

>>54061649
>>54061608
Pls no Ja/ck/

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>>54061642

>>54057582
Uh, hey, this ration seems to be missing a critical element all elves require.

Where's the cock?

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>>54061657
But thou must.

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>>54061577

>yurofags will never experience this magnitude of freedom

>>54061710
2joocy4me

>>54061271
>I crunch all the softer parts of the bones.
>Not cracking open the bones and scraping out the marrow
Bones are the third best part of an animal after the liver and kidneys.

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>>54061649
>>54061710
I left /ck/ to get away from him, don't tarnish this place

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>>54061657
But thou must..

>>54057697
That's why when you kill enemies they drop money.

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>>54061745
But thou must.

I'm waiting for catgirl rations

>>54061070
why are dwarf and halfling the same ratio?

>>54061796
Some salmon jerky, a sprig of catnip, and a massive thigh of a cock.

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>>54061745
But Thou Must!

>>54061417
>Is that a thing americans or europeans learn at home?
Pretty much everywhere, Chicken and ground beef are nasty with bacteria. Only things like super fresh fish and high quality fresh steak are safe.

>>54057697
>the main humanoid races had to eat coins everyday!

Pills haven't been invented yet. You gotta get your iron somehow..

>>54061417
I mean, it's just basics facts. Chicken and ground beef have higher chances for disease and bacteria. Ground beef mainly because it's processed and every bit of it is exposed to air.

It's not a guarantee that you'd get sick just from eating it once, but I suppose people also have a perception that raw meat is far more dangerous than it is.

The ideal raw meats to go for are fish, since that's pretty much impossible to get sick from, or steak, since if you slice off the surface layer the interior should be bacteria-free for the most part.

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>>54061745
But... thou must.

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>>54061796
this is a standard catgirl ration.

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>>54061770
It finally makes sense

>>54061862
>The ideal raw meats to go for are fish, since that's pretty much impossible to get sick from

>>54061820
Stunties get smaller portions of food

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>>54061745
but thou must

>>54061483
That's how the halflings do it

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>>54061745
But(t) thou must.

Unrelated, but I'm watching Dirty Harry.

What a movie!

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>>54061745
BUT THOU MUST!

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>>54061745
*but thou must

>>54058619
>No post dinner nosh and miss night snack.
>Do you even Hobbit?

If they had a midnight snack they'd be getting less than 7 hours of continuous sleep a night. That's not nearly comfy enough for a hobbit.

Hobbits need like 8-10 hours of sleep a night to be suitably comfy. Dodging midnight snacks gives them a solid 1-2 hours for reading and/or smoking before bed.

>>54061866
Honest, those are some nice rations devil dubs.

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>>54061745
But thou must...

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>>54059188
basically what english breakfast would look like if it weren't a pile of shit on a plate.

>fae ration

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>>54061745
It is your destiny.

wtf are those brown orange slices

>>54061081
>using rando beer
>not using Bell's Planetary Series Uranus
>surprisingly not a brown ale

>>54057761
What's that in the upper left?

>>54062004
Fei Fong Wong chicken.

>>54058962
:^o

>>54061138
You didn't see the dried apples for the human?
Jeez lad, look at the thread before shit posting.

Was jerky common? I'm assuming jerky, or smoked meat is as fucking old as recorded history.

>>54061271
what comic is that from?

>>54062004
According to the person who made all of these, fried chicken gizzards

>>54061862
>The ideal raw meats to go for are fish

nah, that's fucking wrong

fish are rife with parasites, and just like meat, they need to be selected carefully for raw consumption.

With beef, the animal must be parasite free, and the slaughtering process needs to be done exceptionally well in order to prevent contamination of the meat. Low quality beef can kill if not cooked. High quality, well processed, fresh beef is good for you.

The same adjectives hold for every raw (non-toxic) foodstuff in the world.

>>54060635
That's marrow. Hipsters and celebrity chefs have ruined marrow and made it expensive. Have fun.

>>54062004
looks like chicken gizzards, but buggerd if I know

A question occurs to me.

How the hell can Hobbits afford to eat that much food?

Seriously, either Hobbits must actually be extremely rich noble lords who have legions of serfs to make their food for them or all their mealtimes actually consist of porridge and oatmeal instead of all the extravagances laid out here.

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>>54062042
>gizzards
Ew. That ruins the entire thing.

I keep looking at a lot of stuff in these threads then noticing somebody thought it was a good idea to add organ meat and it ruins my appetite complete. Disgusting.

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>>54061757
>>54061788
>>54061831
>>54061865
>>54061889
>>54061905
>>54061925
>>54061938
>>54061954
>>54061974
I'll never escape him...

>>54061862
>The ideal raw meats to go for are fish, since that's pretty much impossible to get sick from,
seems legit

>>54062087
>not eating organs
liver, kidneys and hearts are great

>>54062143
That's repulsive, anon. I've sliced into many an organ and I'd never want to eat a single one.

>>54062090
What is the name of this horrible man?

>>54061642
>not smoking your meat
fag.

>>54061974
FUCK I'M SO CONFUSED
WHAT THE HELL IS IT SUPPOSED TO BE
THOSE FUCKING INGREDIENTS

this is worse than Simply Sara...

>>54062171
>>54062191
Cooking with Jack. He's a youtube chef. He's a meme on /ck/ because of how aweful he is.

Watch some Food Wishes or Binging with Babish or Almazan Kitchen to cleanse your palette.

>>54057650
It's Faerun, Fotgotten Realms.
These rations actually reference them, using surprisingly accurate references too.

>>54061925
It looked good until he revealed it was just raw meat.

>>54062143
>Wanting slimy meat with no texture

>>54062087
People in medieval settings don't have the luxury of pointlessly wasting half of the food on an animal, not to mention that organ meat, particularly in the ways its prepared, is delicious more often than not.

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>>54062241
Binging is my fave.

>>54062326
>lrn 2 cook gud scrub

>>54062334
I wouldn't call it 'pointless' when we're talking about good food here. And like I said later on, I've cut open a lot of organs in my time, just from the way they look and the texture and feel of the flesh, I can tell they'd be disgusting to eat. About the only organ I've ever dissected and thought it had a potentially tolerable texture for consumption is the heart.

>>54061974
Looked interesting until
>AND ENTIRE FUCKING JAR OF COOL WHIP
His eyes at the end while he's chewing on that, are the eyes of a suffering man.

>>54062358
The texture changes when you prepare it.

>>54062040
Looks like Dungeon Meshi

>>54062375
Is the texture going to magically stop being so smooth and squishy?

>>54060945
Yes, this. ...with the exception of Drow. Fuck that spider-fucking nonsense

>>54062423
Well the spiders have nothing to do with their cooking, as to even step on a spider is sacreliege.
Never mind intentionally cooking one.

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>>54062358
>I've never eaten them
>But I can tell they'd be disgusting to eat!
Are you 12?

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>>54062358
I mean I'm a butcher, so have stuck a knife in a fair few things over the years.
but you have to realise that the texture much like the colour can be changed depending on how you cook it.

In fact I think you've talked me into making deviled kidneys for breakfast

Each to their own, I just think your missing out.

>>54062390
Yes? Have you ever cooked anything in your life, anon?

>>54062390
Yes, just like with a piece of chicken or pig or cow or any other bit of meat.

>>54057652
>that feel when what I had for dinner was pretty much lizardfolk food
>crablegs
>prawns
>shrimps
>asparagus
>blackberry cobbler
>glass of wine with sprite mixed in because I'm a fucking piece of shit and I like ghetto champagne.

Doesn't help that I'm currently playing a southern-baptist alligator lizardfolk bard/cleric

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>>54062040
Dungeon Meshi, the only good /tg/ manga

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This is a standard duergar ration.

>>54059724
They are meant to be trail rations, not iron rations. They're not very cheap and should have pretty fancy stuff in them (which makes it dumb to have unprepared liver and shit like pic but oh well).

This has most of them with descriptions: http://imgur.com/gallery/BWnHF

>>54062479
>>54062487
Meat only loses any give when you burn the shit out of it. Are you trying to turn the liver into a dry crust? It's a fact that organ flesh doesn't have much of a texture to it in the first place, unlike muscle tissue.

>>54062457
>He's not capable of using his eyes and sense of touch to tell something's texture.

>>54062467
It's your palate.

>>54062467
That looks really disgusting. The bread would get absolutely soaked.

>>54062497
I love that character idea, what god does he follow?

>>54062536
I can't tell what that thing in the middle is.

>>54062536
The meat pies look nice but I don't know about eating ginger raw. I use it in cooking but I can't see how it would be okay by itself unless using it for medicinal purposes.
What kind of cheese is that? that looks lovely. Also what in the fuck is that on the cheesecloth?
and what the fuck kind of mushrooms are those, mushrooms creep me out unless they're on pizza or are sauteed.

>>54057739
I would love that to eat right now.

>>54061849

Funny thing, some places that can afford cast iron, and instead cook exclusively on hammered tin, actually have iron cast into a fish shape that they cook along with their food. The iron rubs off and infuses the food with it, giving them their allotment of iron and staving off diseases associated with its lack, such as anemia.

If iron is a common material for coins, especially in places where iron is hard to come by (little meat or iron-rich food), then tossing iron coins in with the food in the cookpot would be a great way to get your iron. Although then you're cooking what's gone through who knows how many people's hands, but I guess the cooking also sterilizes it, so money that's cooked regularly would be cleaner.

Would be strange to see how people would react to that property of iron coins. What metaphors would "cooking money" entail? And I suppose the very rich would be able to spend that iron on actual meat, rather than using their money as a substitute.

>>54062568
>>54062571
Literally just a boiled whole kidney. The guy threw a shitfit when someone pointed out how stupid it was too. Full desicription is here:
www.reddit.com/r/rpg/comments/6jizlb/

>>54062563
Heironeous, evangelical bard that believes in righteousness, strength of his god, justice and saving those that can be redeemed and saved from a life of evil. I don't know if I should have made him follow Pelor instead. He's more of a support/cheerleader character who can fight in combat with a fishing spear, or dual wielding a fork and knife. Not very good for true combat, but he's great for buffing and taking care of people's wounds.

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>>54062082
Everyone knows that dwarves are really good at mining, stonecutting, metallurgy, etc.

Hobbit are like that, but with agriculture and cooking.

A hobbit will take a 1-acre plot and somehow bring you baskets full of fresh fruit and vegetables in the middle of winter. A hobbit will milk a goat and come back with 20 full buckets, half of them already churned into butter. You give a hobbit a couple of loaves and fish, and he'll cook you an 8-course meal that feeds 10 people.

>>54062621
Holy fuck lol.

>>54061912
its really fucking good
enjoy <33

>>54059293
You can't menacingly swirl a flask.

>>54062653
>give a hobbit a gun and one bullet to kill himself
>comes back with a sixteen-lair tiramisu cake instead
>ask him what he's going to do with that?
>"carbicide."

>>54062695
>lair
LAYER. FUCK

>>54059059
>filename
here is your (you) bud

>>54062713
>16 lair cake
Inside, the hobbit has sculpted sixteen masterfully crafted chocolate dragons, giants, and other beasts of mythical persuasion.

>>54062551
Just stop while you're ahead. It's clear you haven't cooked anything in your life, so you really shouldn't be talking as if you know anything about it.

Here's some advice, go to your local grocery store, buy some chicken livers, and throw them into the frying pan with some butter and garlic. Behold, as the livers miraculously transmute from slimy, slippery masses into soft, creamy morsels.

>>54062744
He's a lost cause, anon. Just let him keep eating his tendies and hotpockets in peace.

>>54062675
But you can put it down menacingly.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16RdEtQL9EQ#t=52s

>>54062742
>creates an amazing piece of art
>proceeds to double-fist it and devour the cake messily while never breaking eye contact with you
>chokes and dies, taking his talent and secrets of his art with him to the grave

>>54061608
>>54061649
>>54061710
>>54061757
What the fuck is this awful stupid shit?

Please don't post any more, it's disgusting to look at.

>>54062551
Meat loses a little "give" when it is cooked at ANY temperature, because whenever tissue damage occurs in meat, it becomes more tender. Tenderization may also be achieved by other methods, such as marinating. Try a slow-cooker w/ a recipe some time. 12 hours of heat will give you fantastic, not-at-all burned meat literally falling off the bone, as well as making your domicile smell amazing. Which would be a first for you, I'm sure.
It is entirely possible to give liver and whatever else a pleasing taste and texture. Saying "It can't because I don't think so" is childish and close-minded. You sound like the guy who refuses to eat limburger because "smells bad = tastes bad."

>>54062744
Why the fuck would you want meat to be creamy? That's disgusting.

>>54061999
>>using rando beer
It's Long Dark Voyage to Uranus, not a rando beer, and it's fucking great. Higher rating than Bell's too.

>>54062030
Dried apples aren't fresh apples, idiot. And they're not turnips or onions.

>>54062853
You never mentioned "fresh" in your first post, and how exactly do you preserve a fresh apple?

>>54057553
>stuffed habaneros
yes fucking please.

>>54062880
Doesn't have to be explicitly mentioned, they have a very long shelf life even without curing, that's the point.

>>54062797
I can actually handle some pretty smelly cheeses. Don't think I've ever had straight up limburger though.

Also if that other guy is telling the truth and cooked liver is 'soft and creamy' that doesn't help your case, because to me meat should never have a creamy texture.

>>54062764
This is honestly the impression I get about anyone who absolutely refuses to try any kind of new food they've never eaten before if they're past the age of 20.

>>54059828
To be fair, you normally tried to feed your soldiers decently as you could so they'd fight well.

>>54057761
>>54057885
>not posting more than one consecutive halfling ration

>>54062990
People aren't allowed to dislike something from the look and smell? Would you try and eat lutefisk?

>>54061745
no board is safe from the shadow of ja/ck/ friend

the fatvirgin hordes tried to banepost at him when he first appeared, but they didn't know

>>54061912
I know what you’re thinking: 'Did he fire six shots or only five?' Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I’ve lost track myself. But being this is a 44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you’ve got to ask yourself one question....

>>54063071
>Would you try and eat lutefisk?
Yeah, but I'm Minnesotan so there are extenuating circumstances.

>>54063088
Did I leave the oven on?

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>>54063071
>People aren't allowed to dislike something from the look and smell?

That's fine but is it too much to ask them to try a bite when offered?

>Would you try and eat lutefisk?

Yes, I would because I've never had it before. If it's disgusting, fine. But at least I know for CERTAIN it TASTES disgusting.

Anybody who considers themselves smart should know the appearance of a food that people eat might not correlate to how it actually tastes.

Cheese is essentially rotten milk, after all.

>>54063186
You have instincts for a reason, anon. When something looks like it'd taste bad, there's a reason you're designed to think that. You might think I'm oversensitive for disliking organs on that criteria, but something like lutefisk with the smell of rot and lye is entirely reasonable for everyone to avoid.

>>54062173
>not vaping your meat
the fuck are you even alive for at this point

>>54063198
>When something looks like it'd taste bad, there's a reason you're designed to think that.

Yes I'm familiar with the caveman mentality of avoiding shit that looks disgusting in order to avoid ingesting stuff incompatible with human digestion.

But this is the 21st century and plenty of foods fit for human consumption have been developed. Not all of them are tasty, granted. But anybody who considers themselves beyond caveman impulses should have the intellect to override those impulses and try stuff we know won't kill us, if only to confirm that they do indeed taste bad or to DISCOVER something that appears disgusting is something we actually enjoy. Like chicken gizzards (I like them, anyway).

>>54063235
Not everyone likes the idea of going so far as to try something that's going to potentially make them throw up, especially in public.

>>54063247
Not everyone has a weak stomach.

>>54063252
Well some of us do then, and we're not going to want to try boiled livers or whatever. I fucking threw up from eating carrots, how quick do you think a liver is going to make me hurl, even if you claim it's mostly psychosomatic?

>>54063269
>I fucking threw up from eating carrots

I genuinely pity you. This is a prime indicator of being a weak specimen.

>>54063276
Or carrots are just gross. I don't have any problem eating radishes, on the other hand.

>>54063301
No, you're a weak specimen. If we were cavemen, your limited selection of being able to stomach what limited food would be available to us would mean you would starve to death.

I don't like potatos. I would eat a potato and not throw up if I were hungry.

>>54062797
>marinating
that's a myth. the acids just activate the enzymes in your saliva, they don't break down the cell structure of the meat. it's more of a flavoring option.

>>54062828
pate

>>54063315
If I was a caveman, I'd have probably been raised eating raw or burnt meat of all kinds so I doubt it'd cause as many problems. Upbringing plays a big role in this sort of thing, and even if it was irritating to keep down at first, eventually your gag reflex dies down. Fish might make me utterly sick and taste like shit, but when my parents forced me to eat fish sticks I choked the down. Sure as shit didn't make me like fish though, still can't stand it.

>>54063349
Pate is disgusting. It looks and smells like cat food, and obviously has the same texture.

>>54062838
>Long Dark Voyage to Uranus
>fucking canadian
that's why i've never seen it. hell, i even live near one of the major cities that nearly borders canada. i was "technically" in international waters earlier today.

>>54063366
>Contradiction in argument...
>Mention of fish...
OH MY GOSH! BAIT CONFIRMED, 2017!

>>54061710
Enjoy your salmonella you cro-magnon motherfucker

>>54063366
i'm not talking about a can of tuna fish here. and good pate (my opinion tending towards duck or goose liver) has a much finer consistency than a can of whiskas.

but we live in a time (and i'm assuming country) where it's acceptable to be picky. for instance, my roommate will only eat the very basic extremely american foods, very plainly, and cooked to hell. any time he cooks eggs, he puts the heat on high, throws in margarine, and burns the eggs until the entire house smells faintly of sulfur. and he insists they're not overdone, just "cooked all the way".

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>>54057553
S-steve? Is that you?

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>>54057739
I like how the half-orcs are issued both human and orc coins - like whatever army is issuing these rations expects a half-orc to deal with both humans and orcs on a regular basis by virtue of them being a half-orc, rather than simply dealing with the currency of a single land they happen to be in. Like this army is just really keen to give its soldiers rations that are going to be a real reward for them, or even that a human and orc high command are working together and just decided to treat half orcs as equally their own soldiers

>>54063428
No I just don't like fish. Unlike with organ meat I'm at least open to trying it in a different format, but it'd have to be something like a salmon steak. I'm not touching fried fish again, tuna is really awful smelling, and I don't trust sushi at all.

>>54063455
As you can see, tuna isn't for me at all, and the consistency of it is a big part of it.

I'm not sure if I can eat runny eggs, I don't mind them any other way I've had them though.

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>>54063461
>tfw Steve will never kiss you on the forehead and whisper "Nice!" after having a romantic, moldy 1964 US Army ration dinner

>>54062621
Damn, I never could've imagined someone would get so riled up about a fucking reddit comment (and a rather polite one too), especially a guy who got praised so much. Even go so far as to use the pathetic 'try doing it yourself, bitch' argument. Holy shit, dude.

>>54063349
>marinating myths
Well shit, you're right. I saw your post, was all like "What? Naw... my steaks come out tender and amazing!" Looked it up: and you're right.
So what the crap am I doing? Are my jaws just made of steel or something? Guess I'll do !!science!! tomorrow.

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>>54062828
This is creamy meat. Delicious.

>>54063541
What is that, head cheese? Around here it's a lot more liquid than that.

Anyway I'd eat a dozen kidneys or livers before touching that.

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>>54063551
So flavorful.

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>>54061608

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>>54063551
No. It's foie gras. To enjoy with a Sauternes wine.

Head cheese is for German proles.

>>54063485
You sound like a bastard who's picky as hell.

I wouldn't believe you if I didn't know someone who was just as bad, if not worse.
>If I didn't both try and like it as a kid, it's BAD.
This maniac is in their late 30's, weak as hell, and has no idea why they have nutritional problems.

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Since we're at it, Slavic 'cuisine' would probably fit some monstrous races rather well. Have some meat jelly

>>54063603
Sorry anon, I only know a little about the different kinds of cat food.

>>54063618
All I did in that post is so I don't like fried fish. Is that a sin too? I've actually eaten that, so the 'try it' argument doesn't work.

>>54061577
The chef bloody well rolled a nat 20

>>54057582
looks like something faggots would eat

>>54063641
It's an elf ration.

>>54063645
whats the difference :^)

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>>54063630
Liver cake with mayonnaise filling

>>54057553
do they eat coins too

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>>54063670
Blood sausage with rice

>>54063683
Picky as I am, I think I'd try blood sausages.

>>54063679
Elves eat salty milk and coins

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>>54063703
They're alright, not too bad. I actually also tried boiled duck blood in China as part of Sichuan hot pot, wasn't terrible either. Wouldn't be too different from a boiled egg, if not for the spicy broth it's boiled in.
Same goes for Northeastern Chinese fried silkworm maggots - it's just a hard shell covered in spices with some liquid protein inside. Technically a decent snack, but not terribly pleasant to a westerner's eye.

>>54063683
Cont. with 'Herring under a fur coat' (said coat mostly consisting of mayo, beet and carrot) with some sourdough rye bread.

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>>54057553
>>54057652
>>54057686
>>54057739
>>54057761
>>54057582
Where's the dwarf ration?

>>54063768
Going by the imgur, this post here >>54061070

>>54063794
but that's the halfling ration

am I missing something here?

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>>54063428
>>54063485
>>54063635
>He's still going.
Seriously, why are ya'll still trying to convince this tendies robot to try new things? Your superior taste isn't gonna magically turn him into a normie.

It's like trying to turn a gay dude straight through a combination of "debate", Darwinist logic, and hentai.

>>54063805
yeah when I saved them I forgot to name them so I probably fucked one or two of them up

>>54063813
It's late and I'm bored as hell. Also, I find debate fun in any format. I debate all day long.
Some call me a... masterdebater.

Have some elderberry porridge.
4-6 apples
1 liter unsweetened elderberry juice
300-400g of honey
75g chopped hazelnuts
4 cups (about 120g) rolled oats.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
1) Peel, core, and cut the apples into wedges
2) Heat elderberry juice and add honey gently while stirring.
3) Add apple wedges to the juice, and allow the mixture to simmer until the apples boil down.
4) Pour in the oats. Boil over low heat while stirring until it forms a smooth porridge.
5) Serve sprinkled with chopped hazelnuts.

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>>54057553

>>54063683
>>54063703
You are now my nigga's. Black pudding is sex on toast.

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>>54063765
And of course Salo/Slonina, salted or fermented pig fat - an actual trail ration staple in old Eastern Europe. Doesn't go off to quickly, very high calorie, goes well with stale bread.

>>54063892
Hunfag here, szalonna is top tier.

It's basically bacon, except there's also versions that are only fat.

>>54064082
Well, eating bacon that isn't fried is a shit idea. Salo is delicious anyway you cook (or not cook) it. Also, anglo-saxons slice their bacon way too thin. Eastern European (and also Korean, for that matter) pork belly is way better.

>>54064123
I totally eat raw bacon from time to time, but yeah, the paper thin bacon strips are atrocious... man I'm really in the mood for some soft white bread, purple onions, green pepper, maybe some tomato and szalonna right now.

>>54064146
You indeed are a man of fine tastes. My heart feels warmer now that I know that you're with us here on /tg/.

>>54064123
Thick globs of fat are gross. They're either too squishy or too chewy.

>>54062143
>>54062326
Hearts are good because they're just pure muscle but liver and kidneys are disgusting.

>>54064257
If properly prepared they are soft and carry the flavor. I made some at home that was like 80% fat and it's still pretty good.

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>>54062358
Heart? Heart, are you sure? It's tough as fuck in all the mammals I've disassembled. Chicken heart is both tough and grainy unless you prepare it wrong.

>>54064583
I don't mind tough meat much. I just know what heart feels and looks like, and what a heart is made of. It's muscle tissue, just like most of the meat you eat. It's a different kind, cardiac over skeletal, but it cooked it should taste and feel much the same.

>>54064619
>>54064583
Chicken heart is nice and chewey. The gizzard is also pretty good.

Not a fan of the other parts, although liver paste isn't bad.

>>54064651
Gizzards are gross too, they look like a chewy, texture-less mess.

>>54064671
Well, they are supposed to taste kind a like the soup you cook them in. I like the chewyness, it's not sinew-chewy more like toughened-meat chewy.

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>>54059724
>a pound of meat
>A full fucking pound

>>54059976
I know Romans did cheese. I don't remember where I heard it, but I feel really sure in saying it.

>>54063269

>go to some southern buffet when I was a kid
>hey look, multiple types of tendies
>enjoy them
>ask waitress refilling my drink what made them all different
>she pointed out that some were gizzards and some were livers
>go back for seconds

>>54061608
Eh, I'd give it a shot. Looks like it actually tastes allright.

>>54065120
We don't really do either of those much anymore. Only the rare individual is going to eat them.

>>54062143
I prefer to not walk the cholesteroad, anon.

>>54065138

I can easily find fried chicken livers at drive thrus here in Texas.

>>54065157
You basically have to cook them yourself here in NC.

>>54063276
Or it's a prime indicator of not liking carrots.

>>54057761
>morels
>standard ration
is this the royal guard?

>>54057553
replace the bones with actual meat and that's pretty good

>>54062063
This depends on where you live I guess, bones with marrow still in are around $2 a pound at my local supermarket I buy them to make stock for stews all the time

>>54065327
I haven't ever cooked with bone with marrow before, what does it add to the stew?

>>54065355
You get the nutrients from the marrow and it makes for a stronger flavor but since it's all fat it'll congeal on top if you let it cool down

>>54062241
>Binging with Babish
I actually used his recipe for Chef's Salty Chocolate Balls, surprised my gaming group with them. Way more involved than I thought it'd be, but they enjoyed them. Had a bit of trouble actually getting much done that night on account of all of us making jokes involving the balls for half our time there, but was a good experience.

>>54065093
Romans ate alot of stuff, some that we would find utterly disgusting like Garrum.

There is mention of one of their legions running out of grain supplies to make bread and other foods and have to eat meat everyday and then the legioneers started complaining about that. And then some in modern days thought that meant that Romans where mostly vegetarians

>>54063461
>>54063497
I have a feeding fetish that is exclusive to him. I want to make him dinner and listen to his praise and delight.