Pet peeves

>>54023147
Who are you quoting?

>>54023147
Anyone else notice how people who do that are almost always furries?

>>54023147
>"Would"-posting
Explain.

>>54023154
>>54023181
A fellow player in an online game I'm in who constantly writes out their actions like
"X would fidget and look down, then would get out a healing potion and administer it to Y"

>>54023166
This person happens to be one, actually, yes.

>>54023147
"Why you choosin' that sub-optimal build for your toon, bruh? You should be getting this and that to get the maximum output of stuff, and if you interpret the rules this way, you get infinite good shit."

-t. guy in my warhammer group

>>54023181
>>54023201
In short, it's incorrect usage of tenses. 'Would' should only be used in potential circumstances.

When writing in the past tense, this is correct usage of 'would.'
>If Y was injured, X would produce a healing potion and administer it to them.
Use 'would' in the same fashion that you use 'will,' since it's just the past tense of 'will.'

I've never noticed anyone using this, but now that I think about it, yeah, it might kind of bother me too.

>>54023201

'Would' is being used because the situation is an imaginary one. This is entirely correct usage. I'm sorry it triggers your anus so hard but it's just something you'll have to come to terms with.

>inb4 I'm a buttmad furry

>>54023147
As a GM, players constantly asking me the consequences of their actions before they even attempt it.

No, I'm not going to tell you what happens if you attack the guy. Why don't you attack him and find the fuck out

>complaining about systems that we aren't even using
That guy hates DnD with a passion and the rest of the group hasn't once even hinted that they want to play DnD anything, yet that guy still can't leave it alone

>>54023466
Oh, we know the feeling here on /tg/.

>>54023147
>rolling before declaring action
>asking for a "do over" for a bad roll
>doing something stupid then demanding it be taken back when suffering consequences... "Just joke'n bro."
>using the term "joke'n"
>showing up too late
>showing up too early
>not reading the PHB or equally appropriate rules
>demanding a map of the current dungeon... It's a lost dungeon... Draw you're own fucking map or risk getting lost
>demanding a map of the besieged town because it's "hard to visualize where baddies are coming from"... Building have roofs or second stories for a reason.
>mixing up you're and your

>>54023656
>>showing up too early
How's that a problem? Also, what constitutes "too early"?

>>54023401
Show me one good piece of fiction written entirely in this way.

>>54023401
It hurls immersion out of the nearest window, though.

>>54023154
You do know that greentexting isn't always quoting someone, right?

>>54023656
>Mixing up your and you're
You're as in 'you are'
>Draw you're own map or risk getting lost
I get that it was probably auto correct, but it's still pretty ironic.

>>54023147
>Playing on IRC
>People use /me for actions

In the worst case they don't even use quotes for dialog, they just don't /me there

>>54023339
>In short, it's incorrect usage of tenses. 'Would' should only be used in potential circumstances.
I'm assuming there's an implied "If the situation we're role-playing occurred, my character would...." Of course, that doesn't mean it couldn't be irritating. I've never had somebody do that in one of my games though.

>>54023793
Look at this nerd trying to escape reality. Its a game you silly loser.

>>54024429
>>54023401
It's totally legitimate.
It's just also really, irrationally, annoying to me personality.

>>54023935
I peeve myself constantly

>>54023714
I mean multiple hours. Had a coworker show up a good three hours before our game. If I'm in the mood I'll hang out a bit, but I had to tell the guy to leave so I could pick my daughters up from school and all that jazz.

>>54023147
Where do you find rp text groups? Everything I've seen has been voice.

>>54023413
Sometimes you're roleplaying a character with knowledge well beyond your own. Let me just roleplay my character's strength too.

I sometimes text RP to add a little characterization if the GM is busy having stats talk with another player, or someone else needs the main lime-light. I don't want to interrupt anyone for what would basically be my character drawing in the snow because hes a barbarian who only cares about fighting and there is no fighting going on right now.

>>54023147
At least you don't have people talking about attacking licks in mealy combat, and drinking a healing drought if their puhladdin gets hurt by a stone gollum wielding a skyth.

>>54024782
There is a distinct difference from considering what happens next and "GM, what happens if I attack this guy?"

I am clearly talking about the second one

>>54024385
Well you know.
Actions speak louder than words.

>>54024949
I literally do the second one but only when I'm trying to make a tactical assessment and the GM isn't giving me all the information my character should have.

>>54023147
There is nothing wrong with RPing by text, although I only have experience in freeform, plot based text roleplaying

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Uhm, I've played in 3 campaigns that went a year+ with text-only. I love the fact that we did because I can read the logs whenever I want and remember things, and also just have those memories.

Hell, one of those campaigns was literally with 5 RL friends sitting around a table on laptops, RPing through text.

>>54025394
>Hell, one of those campaigns was literally with 5 RL friends sitting around a table on laptops, RPing through text.
Ok, no slur on online text-only games, those are fine, but this sounds autistic as fuuuuuuuck. If you're literally IN THE ROOM with them, fucking talk to them. What the flying fuckass fuckshit is this fucking shit?

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>every campaign has to be wacky lolsorandumb adventures
>every pc has to be a watered down Old Man Henderson expy
>alternately, every pc is a money-driven murderhobo

stop spouting ancient /tg/ memes you found on 1d4chan and expecting them to describe every game ever

>>54025461

we did OOC talk and jokes out loud. But all of us agreed that we thought it was better for deeper characterization, even if it took a bit longer. So all IC business was done through text.

Why's that autistic?

>>54023365
I have played with people who used would. I have played with people who used past tense when everybody else used present tense. I have played with people who used /me. I have played with people who would simply say, "I did X." I have played with people who wouldn't use punctuation, including quotation marks. I have played with people who wouldn't even mark the separation between their actions and their words with a simple period between the two sentences.

I don't like any of them, but more than that, I really don't like the inconsistency. If everybody was using past tense, I'd switch over. If everybody was wouldposting, I'd switch over. It's the refusal of any of these people to switch to the room's convention that truly drives me up the wall.

>>54024949

I like handling this the way Burning Wheel does. You're always allowed to know what happens if you fail, but once the GM sets an obstacle there's no backing out of a test to try something you hope will be easier.

It seems annoying at first, and especially mean in Torchbearer, but after getting used to it being a hard rule it's noticeable how often people will try it in other games

>>54024429
See, that's fine anon, using it in a "Thing happens, how do you respond?" sense works. OP is talking about people that preface every action with "would"
>Fuckboi would look across the room
>Fuckboi would draw his sword and charge the Orc, where he would roll to attack
>Fuckboi would reply to the Duke with a single word. "Would"

>>54024736
I can relate. I have a dude who shows up several hours early, consistently, and talking to him about it just resets the problem for a few weeks. It wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't generally a little busy with prep and cleaning in that time, or if he was one of the people from the group I like to hang out with out side gametime. He's just cripplingly awkward, though, and will just show up and hole up in a corner with his DS/laptop while my fiancee and try to finish what we were doing

>>54026572
Tell him to wait in his car? Set a hard time, and don't open the door for him until then?

>>54026652
He walks, and it's far enough that I can't really send him back home. At least not without feeling kind of bad about it. I'm really not sure what to do about him. I've flat out told him don't be here before X o'clock, and I've had other players and even myself offer him rides but he just kind of shrugs it off like he doesn't get the hint.

>>54026940
That's pretty annoying. My condolences.

>>54023147
>Spend hours coming up with all sorts of tools to add to a scenario to augment player character skills.
>Environmental hazards and traps that the players can use against their enemies. Opportunities to catch the enemy in a crossfire or outmaneuver them. Contacts the PCs can befriend to aid them in conspiracy or war.
>Players steadfastly refuse to use ANY of the tools I give them, charge headlong at the problem and get angry at ME when they fail.

>>54023656
>>showing up too early
See, this one's hard for me to complain about, given that one of my players is basically responsible for kicking me out of bed in time for session.

>>54023147
>In short, it's incorrect usage of tenses.
I completely relate, OP. Your player used a tense that made you angry. My father beat me daily for my entire childhood, giving me physical/ mental/ emotional/ relational issues that continue to this day. Looks like we both have it bad, you stuck up piece of shit

>>54027233
>OP makes pet peeve thread
>Lists things that irrationally upset him to some degree
>Look at this and decide to get booty-flustered

Seems like your dad either beat you too much or not enough, you rectally ravaged sperg.

>>54027108
I'll give you an example of what I mean. This was such a shitty experience, that I stopped gaming with this group.

Many years ago, I was running a Deadlands Hell on Earth campaign that didn't last very long for reasons that will soon be obvious. The PCs were a group of heroes who freed a small town from Black Hat control.

The PCs of course pretty quickly decided they didn't like the Combine very much so they proceeded to spend several sessions royally fucking up the Black Hats shit and really manage to piss The Combine off so they send out an elite death squad to hunt down the PCs. The players end up being chased by a large Black Hat contingent into the ruins of a bombed out town. The PCs retreat into the ruins, so the Black Hats send in 2 Automatons to hunt them down (giant stompy death robots controlled by Zombie brains).

I went into great detail about how precarious several of the buildings looked, and the piles of old fuel drums in the corner of one garage that could be macguyvered into a bomb.

The players proceed to ignore all of this, and try attacking the Automatons with conventional weapons. They are promptly shredded into a fine red mist by heavy machine gun fire.

Cue a 30 minute argument over how I am a shitty DM and how the encounter was "poorly balanced."

>>54027370
>The players didn't take my exact carefully laid out cutscene route thus they are bad players

Dude, come on.

>>54027391
I offered them numerous opportunities.
Macguver a bomb

Lure an Automaton into a building and collapse it on the robot

just run away

They steadfastly ignored all of them, then got angry at me when they failed.

>>54024745
Roll20 has a search setting for "Text Only"

>The DM never takes a second to let the player roleplay
>Action is always non-stop
>Whenever we try to discuss a problem, in or out of character, he gets annoyed and rushes us along by having the problem escalate.

>>54024429
I would type an angry response to your post due to your general lack of reading the thread.

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>>54026940
Autism, not the meme 4chan kind but the real kind

Idk what to do about it, though

>>54027628
>DM too eager to showcase his awesome setting
>PC cannot influence one single thing 3 hours into the game

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>>54024438
>playing roleplaying game, not trying to get immersed in the role

Have you considered playing a different game instead?

>>54026362
>>54027892
I don't think you understood what I was trying to say. I'm saying that the player treats the entire game as a hypothetical situation. Like "Oh, if a dragon were to swoop out of the clouds and breathe fire at the character I created -- like you just described -- he would...." Mind you, I'm not endorsing talking like that; I'm just theorizing about the reason for it.

>>54026572
>>54026940
If he just sits quietly in the corner while you clean and set up, I don't really see what the problem is. Maybe you just feel awkward because you feel like you need to entertain or at least interact with your guests, but if you could let that go, it might not be an issue. You've told him when he should show up, and that is your window for interaction. If he shows up before that, just say hello and let him know you'll be busy until the appointed hour, then politely ignore him.

>>54023401
>This is entirely correct usage.
No, no it isn't.

>>54024844
That was physically painful

>>54028066
I have dealt with these people and they are not smart enough to follow all of the steps you described.

>>54028232
I just want people to quit saying "mealy" combat. I've almost resigned myself to the fact that everybody is going to say gall-em instead of goal-em -- just like mana is universally pronounced man-uh rather than mawn-uh -- but for the love of god, just learn to say melee correctly. Well that and lich. I will savagely mock you for calling them lick lords. (Puhladdin and skyth are thankfully extreme rarities.)

>>54026572
Just try to recruit him into doing menial labour for your household. You could have a free autistic house maid in no time.

>>54023147
I let my players bend a bunch of rules (rerolls and such), but they got super salty when the villain did.

>>54028350
Paladins are your pals, lich'es aren't lichen, and SUPER SMASH BROTHERS MELEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

>>54028417
I can imagine that piece of shit DSP at your table screaming WOOOOOOWWWW HOW THE FUCK? AH AH AH AH AH *sealclapping*

>>54025561
I agree with your group's choice. I think it's a great idea, and wish my friends cared enough about narrative and roleplay to try such a thing.

>>54023762
Got him.

>>54023401
Okay, skippy, I want you to imagine this in an RP-appropriate context

>Player one writes "Fellathor The Green waggles his wand threateningly as he prepares his deadly Lung-Lunge!"
>Player two writes "Stanrod Blacknail would dodge under Fellathor's lunge. Before Fellathor would be able to react, Stanrod would thrust his pig-sticker into Fellathor's ribs if he did not move out of the way."

Does that help you understand how awkward this kind of writing is?

>>54028757
Of all the ways you could illustrate it, having it be a situation where the player is stating actions that the PC intends but may or may not actually be able to do is probably the least effective way of all.

>>54028833
I think itz suz it looķs like feeform ropley and he wsnt$ sometjng like "i attack" or less desćriptive and faster to go in tourns. I mean i can ki,da se

>>54028925
...Do you need someone to call an ambulance?

>>54028925
call 911 anon you're having a stroke

Also if that's the case, Stanrod is still committing a cardinal sin of freeform roleplay that iirc is called 'godmoding' by dictating shit about other characters like 'Before fellathor would be able to react'

Anyway In 15 years of RPing I've never seen this 'would' shit and it looks hella dumb.

>>54028960
You see it a lot in certain corners of the internet. The autistic corners. Like 'Gaia/Bad F-List session/FurAffinity comments roleplay' autistic.

>>54029023
I see it all the time on FFXIV, from a select few players. A dozen people RPing, only one of them would-posting, and it's like why.

When the barbarian tries diplomacy and knowledge checks

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>>54027976

I'm calling it. This anon wins.

>>54023304
>toon
>choosing careers in warhammer
Fucking dropped

>>54023147
>It's Freeform

Anyone here play MU*s?

>>54029737
What, like Multi User Dungeons?

>>54029893
Yeah, but the RP focused ones, like MUSHes and RP-enforced muds.

>playing dumb character
>smart characters forget to ask questions or investigate things that seem so fucking obvious to me, but my character would never do

We just left on a huge adventure to find a a magical item that had been stole, without asking when it had been taken, if anyone had seen anything, without investigating the scene of the crime etc

We have no idea where to go other than one of the PCs guessing it was some cult and so we're headed there. Next time I'm playing a brainbarian.

>>54030316
Weird thread to ask it in, but yeah, I've played a couple. TGMUD in particular. What about them?

>>54025561
My RL group used to do a similar thing, if only because I asked them to do so. For two reasons mainly. One, my memory is horrible thanks to my health, so the chatlogs mean I have easily sort through everything that has happened. Two, I'm not a good speaker, I do a lot better by text, so generally my players do the same. Some of us still do voice though. And it's not like we don't speak to each other to joke and whatnot or make plans OOC.

Currently though, it's all just text, since everyone's gone now.

In my games, it annoyed me when players asked for the DC of a roll.

It broke my immersion a little when they did, so I instructed them to accept that I would tell them if a task would be Piss easy, Very easy, easy, Average, difficult, very difficult, almost impossible and straight up impossible.

That way their characters can assess risk and reward better, especially if they play a smart character.

>>54023304
REEEEEEEEE, I put up with a guy in my 4e group that insisted everything needed to be optimized or the world was going to come crashing down on the party. Sort of soured me on 4e (and D&D in general).

>>54023304
>>54031484

I have this guy but as a DM.

Sometimes I think he'd be happier if he just statted all our characters himself, and maybe we'd be happier too because we'd stop dying to his fucking bullshit battles that don't account for things our team reasonably doesn't have.

>>54023147
Murderhobo attitude.

Just that. I've even seen players I normally consider good exhibit it, because they were bored. Yeah, we're all going to be bored when you're going to put 100% of the weight on the GM, you faggot. And especially in our last game combat was the most grating, boring aspect of the game, so two players zoning out outside of combat and pretty much just not partaking in RP at all really killed it for me. Especially because the GM also fucking sucked at creating compelling characters. So I'm playing my character, and the other guy is playing his, and all the others are just there to roll the dice.

So go play yahtzee, you cunts.

>>54032433
I'm in a game with a player who like that, I think.

He doesn't interact with anything or anyone unless there's a possibility of looting it for stuff or killing someone. All other situations, he's either rushing conversation along if he can't ignore the NPC, or pointedly saying his character is somewhere in the background eating one of his many, many travel snacks if he can.

>>54023154
God I hate summer

>>54023154
Fuck you

>>54023147
>RP by anything
>people who use the same character all the time
>and by same character i dont mean "they always play a girl who's a dragon loli" or something dumb i mean "they play the exact same character, personality and backstory wise, just with the name changed

>>54035263
Who let a hive mind of ProJared's DMs post on here?

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I'm close to giving up on my group and finding a new one at the LGS.

>try to start a game up of Black Crusade
>Friend once tried to GM it BUT he never read the rules didn't know how to play, and constantly reflected the fact that he didn't know jack or care by promoting a "randumb" game with no foundation of anything besides "You play as a traitor, you guys hate each other!"
>The game devolves into petty PC actions with the irl result of people not talking for a while
>time to go back to being forever GM
>I built 6 Renegades to randomly assign whoever showed up
>only wrote up mechanics and such seeing how everyone should have a chance to make the character their own
>as a result, they share a basic skill set and inventory which is more than enough to get them through broken chains by shooting everything.
>the team has history of working together as a part of the last remaining members of a merc crew
>Planning on playing through Broken Chains, Tyrant's Cord one, then Temple of Lies so everyone can understand how the game works and have a little chance to flesh out characters
>"anon said he'd rather play X"
>"My premade characters aren't minmaxed."
>"But I don't want to play a premade adventure."
>"Lol I walk into the void so I can play a different character"
>"I want to make my own snowflake so I can be different."
>"This guy is weak compared to the CSM I built for the last game that wasn't run properly by other GM."
>"I'm busy for two weeks now."

What part of "THE LAST REMAINING TEAMMATES OF A MERC CREW IS HARD TO UNDERSTAND? I'm just trying to run a fucking game without having to randomly change paces so you can meta game your character to someplace that you have no reason to be there. I get I'm running a very linear game but it's just to get a grip on how it plays out since I READ THE FUCKING CORE RULE BOOK AND CAN PUT THIS SHIT INTO PLAY.

Chaos would be proud.

>>54030509
For the sake of immersion, and since I play online since most of my friends moved away for grad school, I actually pass my ideas and questions on to the "smart" characters through private chat. I don't need credit, as long as SOMEBODY asks the fucking question or remembers the piece of gear that would be really helpful right now.

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>RP by text
>everyone uses a different tense instead of standardizing

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>>54023201
Just keep asking him "Does he, though?". He'll drop it eventually.

>ERP
>someone starts acting out their deviant fetish on your character without clearing it OOC first
>it's not even listed in their profile as an interest so you didn't know it was coming
>they assume your sudden silence means you're getting carried away fapping rather than staring in slackjawed horror
>it's so gross and horrible that you can't help but judge them for it
>the OOC chat for the group is permanently awkward because you don't respect them anymore.

A simple heads up could have prevented all this.

>>54030509
Dumb barbarians saying smart things is acceptable as long as they level it out with something really stupid afterward.

That's the way it seems to work for us, at least.

But that's for guys who are legit stupid due to extremely low intelligence and a conscious decision to roleplay a dumb character. In the words of the player, "too dumb to know he's Evil". In typical examples the characters aren't often all that stupid, but simply have below average intelligence. Well, that counts for half the people you see on the street. And intelligence is not exactly the same as "smart", so even a low intelligence character could be observant. He won't be explaining Fermant's Last Theorem anytime soon, but he'll know to ask basic questions.

It can feel weird to take a "face" role for a character that wasn't really intended for it, but there are no real arguments against it. Alternatively, you could just remind the other players OOC that they're supposed to be asking questions.

>>54036896
It's pretty annoying when people think that just because a character has low int that they have to be a drooling retard 24/7. I've met some dumb as fuck people who have the occasional bit of brilliant insight.

You shouldn't bar dumb people from RPing smart characters any more than you should bar smelly autists from playing charismatic characters. Just have them roll to 'come up with a smart idea' when they miss stuff like that.

Destroying player agency via

-quantum ogres

-dice fudging

-railroads


Nit pickers

You know those players who constantly complain to the GM that arbitrary meaningless shit in the world doesn't make sense.

Players who complain whenever they're hit by an attack.

GM's who burn out after a couple of sessions because they have some crazy new idea.

>>54035664
>expecting anyone to be happy with being forced to play a premade character

Are you autistic?

>>54037057
Not op but

When you have a bunch of noobs who have no idea what they're doing in a new system you need to run some kind of premade game with premade characters to get everyone aware of how things work

It's a cluster fuck otherwise as this group has already proven when they attempted to make characters and failed miserably to have a coherent session.

>>54031484
This seems like a strange complaint for someone to make since 4e is probably the one Wizards-made edition that doesn't need much optimization to be effective.

>>54036668
Would he though?

>>54037054
>You know those players who constantly complain to the GM that arbitrary meaningless shit in the world doesn't make sense.

This is the worst, especially when it's more like they're trying to gain metagame information by complaining OOC rather than investigating IC

>>54027592
Oh that's useful. I want to play apocalypse world but I don't say "fuck" out loud cause I'm 23 and. a virgin and my parents never let me swear so once I move out and get laid (if) I will allow myself to say the big boy swearwords out loud. Until then there is too much of an autistic barrier to saying fuck and you have to swear a lot to play AW because half the characters' abilities have profanity in them.

>>54023304
>toon,
That one does rustle my jimmies

>>54037746
>because half the characters' abilities have profanity in them.
I've never heard this, that's hilarious

>>54036505
I might honestly need to do this, except I'm the person who's not good at playing smart characters so it'd be nice to get that 'phone a friend' help sometimes.

>>54038107
It's really nice, since there's no real "credit" to be had, if your group isn't overly concerned. It's also helpful when characters die. If you remember something that could be helpful, but your character wouldn't know it, just tell somebody at the table, since they would remember.

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>It's what my character would do

>>54037907
The gunlugger's escape ability is literally called "fuck this shit."

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>Purposely gimping your character because you want to be unique and original i.e wizard who can't read, barbarian that's a pacifist etc

I've seen this shit so many times and it never ceases to frustrate me

>>54037054
>Quantum ogres

The what ogres now?

>>54039694
It's a scenario where whatever the DM/GM has in mind, such as a warband of Ogre Bandits, they change locations to be exactly where the party is.

Say there's a fork in the road. Your party goes left. Ogre Bandits. Let's say they instead when right on that fork instead. Ogre Bandits. Let's even say they turned around or went through a non-road path. Ogre Bandits.

Taken to the extreme it's certainly annoying and railroad-y yes, but one must keep in mind that strictly sticking to locations for certain events is going to create a lot of empty space between scenes/events whatever you want to call them.

>>54038799
Isn't "Big Fuckoff Gun" a weapon type too?

>>54039901
Keep in mind that a good GM won't use this EVERY time, and will generally use it more in situations where it isn't so obvious, and not in cases where players are actually using their skills to intentionally bypass encounters to screw them over.

Sometimes I wish GMs would use it more, I remember hearing about fun encounters we missed and feeling kind of cheated that we didn't get to fight them just because we went one way instead of another.

>>54027391
They still could have just run away. The whole point of a PnP RPG is that the players can decide some plan that the DM/module designer never even considered to beat it. They chose the dumbest strategy possible and got fucked for it because they expected it to be a video game where every encounter is balanced directly for them at their appropriate level then bitched at him because the world is living and there will be times when they're outclassed

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>>54023147
>It's fantasy so it doesn't need to follow any sort of logic

>>54023762
>fiction
>interactive RPGs

These things are not the same. You are shifting the goalposts. You have an agenda, and it is simply one of saving face.

>>54028740
samefag, and wrong :)

>>54041264
They're the same thing, you subhuman.

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>>54038858

>mfw this is me

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>>54042028
Why would you do this? Why would you ever do this?

>>54036746

What's wrong, anon, can't stomach hand holding?

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>>54042470

>>54042264

Because It triggers autismos when I make shit like this work and the GM gives me kudos.

>>54043354
As long as it works, I guess. I've never seen a work, but that's just my experience. I've played with people who gimp themselves for flavor, then complain because it doesn't work, as if they should be given a break because they chose to make something horrible. More power to you for making it work.

>>54043395
>I've played with people who gimp themselves for flavor, then complain because it doesn't work, as if they should be given a break because they chose to make something horrible

Well that's just retarded and they should feel bad.

I'm looking at your examples and all of those are justifiable if you can compensate for it with something else. A wizard who can't read could have studied/learned magic entirely through oral studies ala how stories were passed down before the written word. One could say that if they were really intelligent they would have just learned to read but maybe they have a severe form of dyslexia which makes it impossible for them. Or maybe they can read but they get such bad migraines from it that it's impossible for them to. If they wanted to learn any new spells they would have to find someone to read them the damn book but not being able to read doesn't prohibit them from learning.

A barbarian could be a pacifist, they could just be opposed to violence but see the futility of trying to reason with someone who won't listen. Or maybe they're just pacifistic in "I won't murder them in horrible fucking ways I'll kill them swiftly without much traditional blood everywhere everyone must suffer violence". Or they could just have a personal qualm with it but be literally unable to do anything else with their life and is constantly wrestling with that fact (but they still fucking do it); maybe it's because they have family/social conditioning, a lack of skill in anything else, or maybe an event recently turned them against everything they've ever known but they don't know how to change.

tl;dr if you make a quirky character and bring down your group whilst never trying to compensate for that gimp you're being a dick

>>54042264
I once made a double amputee dwarf named Stumpy. I wanted him as a double amputee because I wanted to make a non-standard character who was optimized for dpr but who moved slowly. DM even let me take a feat to let him run on his stubs. It was all inspired by a video i once saw of a DA full back shooting a gap for a first-down.

>>54043395
I find these kinds of people worked their concept backwards.

Take a pacifist barbarian. They usually don't start with that concept, it's actually "Barbarian class but what if low STR???" just to be special.

But a pacifist barbarian doesn't need to be poorly built. He could eschew weaponry and carry only a wooden staff, club or training sword for defence - only fighting when forced to and relying on non-lethal hits. They could refer to his barbaric roots but build him as a Monk instead, as his character came upon a monastery where he gave up his warlike ways. With some work even Oath of Ancients could work, with a focus put on healing.

But no, the "tamed savage" concept wasn't the starting point. The "Barbarian with zany stats" was.

>>54043497
>A barbarian could be a pacifist, they could just be opposed to violence
>Not playing a Hulk like guy, who is actually a pacifist, but sometimes loses himself completely and goes on a rampage

>>54023304
>toon

Unless the player is over the age of 40, I cannot abide this

>>54041951
They're not though. While all interactive RPGs are fiction, not all fiction is an interactive RPG.

>>54043869
I'm using this.

>>54037746
You have something mentally wrong with you. I'm also 23 and a virgin and my parents never let me swear. I do anyway.

>>54036582
>Not using the 'Nam flashbacks version.

>GM arbitrarily changing rules mid game because "nah I didn't like that ruling
>Still using the childish "NO BACKSIES" mentality afterhaving changed the rules
FUCK. YOU. If I try to shove a target off a cliff with an ability that explicitly can do that, you can't just say "nah, I am ruling that you can't do that, but also you still waste your action doing it, even if it cannot work, and will never work again. Because I said so".

Or worse, "Warcaster gives advantage to concentration checks...? Yeah, nah, but you are not allowed to change the feat now."

I swear to God, if that guy is ever murdered, it is by one of his players being far less calm than I am.

>>54028350
why do people even pronounce shit like this, is they knew anything about word structure they would be able to figure out the pronunciation on their own. these aren't complex or exotic words

>>54044352
Piss off.

War caster explicitly does this.

Monks open hand technique explicitly allows this.

There is no "buts" or "ifs" here. It is not open to interpretation at all.

>>54024782
>not rolling int/knowledge/whatever to check whether your character thinks X is a good idea

>>54040555
A good GM doesn't need to use this, and with competent players the ogre stops being quantum the second it's mentioned anyway, so just place the fucking thing.

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>>54023147
>RP by etching
>"Wood"-posting

>>54027284
P sure it was too much anon. God you can be so dense, read the room.

Its okay if you can't look him inthe eye sweetie, but its polite to try. Do you think you could talk with the other kids better if you tried looking at their ears instead?

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>>54027233
You should compare OP's post to starving children in Africa next, anon, that one always works.

>>54040555
As a GM I almost always do this, unless there is a point in doing otherwise.

My players will never know. If they have several paths, the mechanics of the fight will change (different layout of the battle map, maybe different environmental hazards) but the group itself does not change.

They won't know, and have no chance of figuring it out. So I don't care really.

The only time I explicitly do it, is if the roads presented are vastly different. Like a sneaky approach won't encounter the Orcs, but only a small goblin party.

Or the intended backdoor they know about and have free access to, only guarded by a couple of orcs, compared to the front door which is guarded by three times as many orcs and 2 ogres. They have the choice, and if they'd rather take the front door (which isnt a bad idea, per say, as they remove a threat that might come back and bite them in the ass later on), they can do that.

But those are rather specific scenarios. In most cases, I have a set amount of tailored encounters, and they will likely encounter them all. But playing 5e, I also make a point of having around 5 combat encounters every day, so having options for different encounters will quickly cause an unnecessary amount of work.

>>54029048
Anon, whats Balmung like?

Is it true your server lives and breathes as a real world might?

>>54038858
I know what you meant by gimp, but I will never see that word and not think that you have an illiterate wizard that's really into bondage.

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>>54027233
He didn't beat you hard enough for you to realize that argument doesn't work.

>>54023304
I do this, but only when shit's going real bad.

"I want my fighter to be tougher so I'll take Toughness" bad.

>>54044085
yeah bu by that logic the orginal test of, "can you make a good fiction using only 'would'" still works. if you cannot make it work in fiction, and all rpgs are fiction, then it doesn't work in rpgs

>>54025468
Dang. Fucking henderson

>I wanna play OMH!
>you wot anon. Do you realize what it is?
>Uh, hes just funny whats the problem
>Putting aside how bullshit the story is, OMH was made to purposefully crash and ruin the game. WHERE DO YOU LITTLE SHIT GET THOSE DESIRES BEFORE THE GAME EVEN STARTED?!

>>54027233
It seems he gave you brain damage.

>Niggas not realizing 'would' is the past tense of 'will' and that the other dude is just writing in a third person past tense.

>>54036746
>ERP
>Ever

>>54044898
How do you feel about players wasting an hour of time arguing which fork to take while you know they are identical and meaningless?

>>54046060
What kind if retarded players does that?

Besides, the enemies are the same, nothing else is. Sometimes they take a high route, knowing they can use the height to fuck enemies out of the way. Or take the caverns to take advantage of cramped corridors to avoid archers. Whatever floats their boat.

And they spend like 2 minute tops discussing this. Any player group that spends more than 5 minutes are super autistic. I'd recommend bringing meds, rather than changing the setup, if this is legitimately a problem.

>>54027391
>t. completely braindead, retarded player

As a player, I have to say that I am Glad I am not playing with a complete idiot like you.

>>54046217
Sorry to say senpai, but that speed shows the players are onto your ogres and realize that their choice makes no difference.

Have fun with your uncaring dicethrowers, I suppose.

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>I roll a 20? That means that I critically succeed at this incredible hard thing
>Every single thing attempted against an NPC requires a counter roll by the DM
>Tons of things requiring rolls, even though there is no urgency and no consequences for failing, so we just roll 3 times wasting time

>Made the entire progression of some quest we were sent of reliant on the IC and OOC knowledge of a single player, who was given a ring from the questgiver without the rest's IC and OOC knowledge
>that player's character winds up in jail
>Now I'm alone with together some NPC that travels with us, having to talk to the man who was considered missing by his mother (finding him was the quest)
>it's obviously a misunderstanding, because the guy is just there, doing his job as always
>We clear it up
>We learn OOC about the ring and that apparently showing it was supposed to give us a completely different reaction
>the jailed PC gets freed
>he just tosses the ring at some random NPC and we spend the rest of the session just trying to steal stuff for some overly intercrate plot to break in somewhere and show the local nobles that their security is flawed.

>>54037054
>Destroying player agency via...
Wasn't getting BTFO'd last time enough for you anon?

Why do you keep acting like a retard?

>>54046274
You're arguing on a very stupid thing you know?

When I GM I have to use quantum ogres because my players miss 90% of the hints I throw at them: I had one player who would scout ahead and actually dig up information about what monsters they might face if they go one way or the other. Then I could start placing encounters down and the players can decide where they want to go and what they want to do.

Then again, the quantum ogre I throw at my players the most are travellers who have seen/heard something strange, because the players are so passive they won't ever go and interact with NPCs in towns and ask for informations about the main things that are happening around them. They are stumbling around the world blind And deaf.

>>54023147
"Would" evolves out of encounters with bad GMs, it's not the players fault
>Player: I get ye Flask.
>GM: You cannot get ye Flask
The player gets so used to the GM retroactively stopping their actions that they stop phrasing their actions as a certainty and start phrasing their actions as a possibility because they're expecting the GM to shut them down.

Rolled 16 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>54046394
Would is not correctly used.

Instead, use 'try' and 'attempt'

>I attempt to uppercut the drunk with my fist!
>roll
>You hit/you miss him

>>54023656
>>demanding a map of the besieged town because it's "hard to visualize where baddies are coming from"... Building have roofs or second stories for a reason.
"Visualize" and "see" aren't synonyms, you autistic fuck.

>>54028350
>resigned myself to the fact that ... mana is universally pronounced man-uh rather than mawn-uh
But it's correct. [mænə] is both a closer and a more comfortable approximation than [mɑnə] is of the original pronunciation [mana].

>>54026940
>>54028125
how about setting up one of your rooms as a "waiting room" of sorts where he's out of your way?

>>54037746
>>54044154
i worry about the future of humanity

>>54046274
2 to 3 minutes isn't a short time. It is more than enough to weigh your options, consider what the party would prefer, and then act on it. Usually in character as well.

In what fucking world would it take you 1 hour? What the fuck do you need to consider?

>>54037057
For a chance to finally play Black Crusade when I've had no luck finding anyone to run it?
Yes.
Absolutely.

>>54045325
Worse yet, this is in a game of Degenesis that's being played as if it were fucking Apocalypse World. I'm halfway tempted to ask the GM to scrap this campaign and port it over to AW so everyone can have their zany misadventures without incurring TPKs or shitting all over important NPCs and plot hooks, since it's not like anyone really understands the setting or bothered to read the rulebooks anyway.

>>54024385
The fuck? There's at least a half dozen known scrips floating about that let a person use their character's name, text color change when quotes are used, and make sure cuts for long winded posts are dropped. And they use /me as their trigger to activate. Not everyone knows how to change scripts so you're gonna have to get over it.

>>54037746
That's fuckin' weird, man. You didn't start cursing like a sailor at 12 or 13 with other adolescent boys who had no idea how to swear right? I thought that shit was universal.

>>54046274
>If players don't spend a literal hour autistically pouring over each possibility they are uncaring dicethrowers.
Some of us can actually communicate our ideas effectively in minutes rather than hours, and don't need to screech and argue to defend them. I promise, quick communication is possible.

>>54023401
Actually it's not correct, because the character is on the same level potentiality as the situation. If it was an imaginary situation /in game/ then it would be appropriate. You "would" make your character do something, but your character just does it. If your character were imagining a situation, then you would make your character "would" do something.

>>54039942
Yes. And thr ability "not to be fucked with" that basically says you are a one man army.

>>54044154
>You have something mentally wrong with you.
Oh I know.....

>>54023304
>toon
>referring to pc
Haven't heard that since City of Heroes.

>>54051599
Believe it or not, WoW is still kicking around

>>54043354
>Gm chooses classes for us to roll in "evil campaign
>Get handed sheet, Wizard, most magic I've ever played was spammy warlock.
>Get rolls, see what faces are available.
>Ork is available.
>Muscle wizard it is! +3 str +2 Int +1 con for racial. Flat Wis, -2cha, flat dex. Almost all touch spells.
>Also homerule no multiclassing, so no dipping into monk.
>Grapple wizard either murder blenders biggest fucker in the encounter or gets rocket tagged. still dangerous as fuck, just needs to be very careful in position.
>Party is all butthurt about badwrongfun.
>Wizard isn't trivializing every single encounter.
>GM was also mad but understands why I built char why I did now.
>Feelsgoodman.jpg

>>54043869
>Barb aware of his rage, secretly scared of his own temper.

9\10 good concept.

>>54044284
>Or worse, "Warcaster gives advantage to concentration checks...? Yeah, nah, but you are not allowed to change the feat now."
I would murder the fucker