Field Kit Inspection: Wet Beaches and Heresy Edition

>>53982536
Ill get out my waterproof parts

>>53982536
Tempestor Prime, Nathaniel Marros, of the 82nd Iotian Minotaurs, Reporting in, Sir!

I guess my lads and I, have earned a few days off. Doesn't mean I won't be putting them through drills!

>>53982536
foot private, second class reporting

sorry for being late, i had to drag this twin plasma cannon all the way here

if its a vacation, i better bring my portable tent

>>53982536
Lieutenant, Matthias Wyvern, Sir! My men and I are suited up, and ready to get some rays!

Wonder if there'll be any decent bars?

>>53982606
oops forgot my name tag
sorry sir

looks like those darn catachan devils stole it again
its a lot harder to take it back from them than the scions

>>53982614
depends on if you like fruity drinks

>>53982606
Trooper! You are missing your name tag! I don't care if you're not wearing your normal, Munitorum issued uniform! You should have your name stitched onto your underwear, like I do!

...Or you can wear your dog tags! Either or!
>>53982582
Good idea! But make sure you aren't leaking oil or other things everywhere! I'd had to ruin the beaches this way!

>>53982536
Tempestus Scion Mantrek Faun, of the 82nd Lotian Minotaurs reporting for duty, Sir!

Hot day out, perfect for a xenos ambush don't you think?

>>53982624
My men, would never stoop so low, as to steal your name tag, Private!
>He'd poke his finger into the trooper's chest.

Unlike some of you, we atleast have honour!

>>53982654
dony worry tinman, if xenos were here, they are probably out on vacation too, no need to bother them, they aint gonna bother us

and if they do, then we just blast em
>>53982670
easy on my armor, unlike flak, fingerprints really stick to carapace

and i do have honor, i keep it in my footlocker

>>53982710
Did you just call me "Tin-man" private?

>>53982710
>He'd shake his head at the trooper.

That isn't Carapace armour! Atleast not FULL carapace armour.

Hell! I bet you took that from some deceased scion or other trooper who earned it! Didn't you!

>>53982634
Hey, I'm fine with a fruity drink. I'd rather it take good, than taste like watered down piss in a mug.

>>53982727
yes sir
and i call the techpriests "cogboys"
and the medicae "meat worker"
and my lascannon is "honor"
>>53982738
no sir, i bumped my flak armor really hard into the mud, and like magic it came out tougher

reports of scions nearby are greatly exaggerated

>>53982761
You will call me by my title Private! Do you understand me?

>>53982536
SCREEECH

>>53982761
>>53982738
>>53982727
>He'd take a seat as he waits for the Devourer transport, to land planet side.

You people, REALLY need to get along better... Otherwise this is going to be a LOOOOONG car ride to the beach...

>>53982793
Don't bother. At least it will be an entertaining long ride.

>>53982775
hey bud, you speak low gothic or are you choking on a ration bar?

>>53982761
yes sir, dont worry sir
your language is perfectly understandable

>>53982793
>lugs his cumbersome twin plasma cannon into the cramped compartment
like my previous sarge said, "never a boring day in the guard"

>>53982761
That's where you're wrong, trooper.

Me and >>53982771 are Scions.

File: Imperial spawn(3).png (2MB, 734x1102px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 734x1102px

>>53982824
SCREEECH
>Holds a green little bucket and a spade

>>53982840
you should probably get the medicae to get a look at you
you look like a pile of grox droppings

>Number Zero would walk up silently to the Commissar, his Gas mask and helmet still on
>His voice would sound crackly
...Krieg Infantry Specialist #0, reporting for duty...

>>53982851
>Slaps Dak
SCREEECH

>>53982840
I swear... The things the Commissar let's into the regiment are getting weirder, and more heretical with each passing day...

>>53982840
AGH
>I'd hit the thing in the face with the butt of my Hot-shot Lasgun

>>53982871
nonsense, a little recaf, a little exercise, and we will be as right as rain

>>53982856
Ah, one of the Death Korps troopers!

Hopefully you're not also here to complain about the regiment's vacation.

If not, than I'm happy to have you aboard!

>>53982895
Why have a vacation, when you could be dying for the Emperor sir?

>>53982910
sometimes we can live for the emperor, and a little beach time sure is good living
>gives a friendly pat on the back

>>53982886
calming SCREEECH

Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>53982895
>Using his persuasive skills
You *do* want to die for the emperor, don't you sir?

>>53982910
The fact that these men, through the use of my tactical genius, and ingenuity. Have managed to destroy an entire Ork WAAAGH!!!, An Eldar war host, cleansed and destroyed a Space Hulk full of foul chaos energies and Tyranid genestealers, and far more! These men deserve a few days off from the grim horrors of war!

Does anyone have any sunscreen?

>>53982918
Sometimes dumb bastards like you don't deserve to live

>>53982927
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!

>He'd take this as a challenge to his honour as a man, and a warrior of the Emperor.

Are you calling ME, Commissar Arthur. C. Knochenmus. A COWARD!?! HOW DARE YOU TROOPER!

Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>53982927
>Aids him
Indeed, it would be a great honor befitting a man of your status, not to speak level of competence!

>>53982971
100, 200, Or 5000?

Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>53982983
>Persuading him to die for the Emperor
A coward? Maybe. Taking a vacation instead of dying for the emperor? How preposterous

>>53982992
i found some SPF 9000 in the back of the taurox if you want
im sure the cogboys dont need it

>>53983008
If you're saying I'm not willing to die for the Emperor, you're sadly mistaken, trooper! I've given the entirety of my life in his service! Taken dozen of battle wounds, during the slaying of his numerous enemies! And even lost my left arm, leg, and eye, in his service!

All at different times, mind you... But still!

Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>53983036
>persuading him to kill himself
If you are not willing to die for the Emperor, right now, you are a puny Commissar

File: DevourerDropship.jpg (148KB, 681x365px) Image search: [Google]

148KB, 681x365px

>>53983021
>>53982992
>>53982989
>>53982973
>>53982971
>It was at this point, that the Devourer landing craft, carrying the majority of the regiment, would finally land upon the surface of the planet. It's side and front doors opening up, and exposing it's cargo to the bright sun, and salty air, of Celidorn IV.

>>53983050
That might go a bit overboard, unless he was a coward. I'm certain our good commissar is not one, else he would have executed himself long ago.
>>53983056
I don't like this...

>>53983056
SCREEECH
>runs off to make a sand castle

>>53983050
You're so going to die....

Why would I waste my life right now, commiting suicide, when it would be mucj better spent, in his service upon the battlefield!

Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>53983078
>Persuading him to kill himself
Maybe because your life is worth nothing

>>53983063
Last one in the water, is a salty, faithless Krieger infantrymen!

>He'd bolt out the Devourer, and towards the white sandy beaches, and crystal clear water.

>>53982536
*beaches make my carapace turn blue*

Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>53983066
>Pawn begins to make a tower

>>53983096
It's too bright and hot! I'm not going out there!

>>53983108
>Tower quickly falls apart and some kind of small critter comes out of it

ITT: A Krieger with all the luck gets the regiment's leave cancelled in favour of a suicide mission and talks the commissar into an heroing

>>53983056
>takes off his air filter
it's been a while since I got clean air

time to go look for "souvenirs"
>>53983066
good idea, some sun will make you feel better

now if I can find that dozer blade for our chimera, I could build a truly big sand castle

>A small fighter drops from the heavens, out hops a small angery looking priest

is this the right regiment?

Rolled 7 (1d20)

>>53983118
>pawn tries to do it again

>>53983095
wtf is with these rolls!

>He would grab the infantry man by his throat with his bionic hand. Squeezing it tightly as he begins to drag h out of the transport, and towards the beach.

If it wasn't for the fact that we're on vacation. I'd show you what fore!

>He'd then hand the man a plastic shovel, and would throw him into the sand with all his might.

Just because you don't enjoy a day off every now and again. That doesn't mean, you can ruin it for the rest of us! So if you need something to do, go an dig a trench system for a sand castle fortress!

>>53983125
[well if its cancelled can you please help the berserker, I enjoy yelling as him]

>>53983118
what the heck is that?
>begins charging his plasma

Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>53983143
>the castle falls apart again
SCREEECH
>Pawn tries to do it again

>>53983130
>He'd walk over towards the ship, his body soaking wet from the water.

That depends... Are you looking for the "Unknown Regiment"?

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>53983147
>I'd smash the plastic shovel into the man's testicles

>>53983147
>the man scowls at the lord-commissar

OI YOU, are you the fuckin idoit that leads this shit pit?

>>53983157
its been called that, but I was told its called miscriets and getting missions done with few casualtys [heresy]

>>53983156
>Pawn builds a magnificent snd tower modeled after a defensive hive spire, with a little commissar *BLAM-ing* insubortinate soldiers

>>53983130
No, wrong regiment, we have more than enough priests as is! Faith secure, you can go!
>huddles in a shadowy corner of the Devourer dropship

File: You_Doodle_2017-06-24T15_57_27Z.jpg (654KB, 768x1024px) Image search: [Google]

654KB, 768x1024px

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>53983143
*watch and learn rawr*

>>53983156
look here bud
you gotta mix some water with the sand
>begins using a carapace helmet as a bucket
when its nice and firm, it will hold its shape

>>53983180
>the arch confessor turns and levels a flamer of holy promethean at the pyker

YOU SPEAK WHEN SPOKEN TO YOU FUCKIN WITCH, NOW GET OUT OF MY WAY BEFORE I BURN YA

>>53983168
Hang on one moment, Sir.

>He'd take a moment and would run into the Devourer.
>>53983180
>There would be sounds of screaming and shouting, as the young Officer, begins to drag the Astropath out of the Devourer.

I don't care who you think you are... But you need some sun!

>>53983200
*interesting thought rawr*
*maybe the sun could actually be consumed rawr*

Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>53983159
>The Commissar's good eye would begin to twitch with anger at the Guardsman.
>With all his strength, he would toss the man into the ocean as far away form him as he possibly could.
>Rolling for distance.

>>53983197
Fine, fine, you can stick around and pray or something...
>>53983200
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! It's too bright! Too hot! I want to inspect charge packs in the ship, where it's survivable!

Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>53983230
>Rolling to dodge
Fuck you!

>>53983231
the sun never hurt anyone

except that one time we when the planet we were in had no ozone, but that was not normal

>>53983231
>He'd continue to drag the man further down the beach, and away from the Devourer.

If you want to hide somewhere shady, you can do it at a casino, or a cabana! But you are not wasting our vacation inside a Devourer!

>>53983231
>the arch confessor picks up the hapless astropath and uses him as a umbrella. taking great care to make sure his face is pointed to the sun, I walk over to the commissar

OI YA DAFT GUN USING IDIOT

>>53983231
SCREEECH
>Pawn takes out a sun-blocking umbrella out of...*bag* and brings it to the Astropath

>>53983246
>The krieger gets throws into the ocean, and is promptly eaten by a giant xenos sea monster

>>53983246
looks like we got a brawl here
everyone place your bets

>unfolds a collapsible table
odds currently 3:1 commissars favor

>>53983268
>I'd watch as the Krieger was eaten mercilessly, and torn apart by the monster
By the Emperor...

>>53983246
>The man would be sent flying a good 300 meters down the beach, and into the crystal clear waters of the ocean.
>With hsiw work done, the Commissar would make his way towards a cabana bar to get a drink.

Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>53983268
>Shrug
>Pawn begins to build a second tower

>>53983268
>sets up his table just in time to see the spectacle

never a dull moment in the guard

>does a double take
out of the water, there's xenos in there!

>>53983273
>the confessor puts his flamer on the guardsmens chest.

GAMBLEING LEADS TO AN IDLE HAND, THAT LEADS TO AN IDLE MIND THAT IS SUSSPTABLE TO CHAOS.
DO YOU WANT TO BET ON THAT GUARDSMEN?

>>53983287
YOU, LORD-COMMISAR COME HERE

>>53983296
The thing that are that Krieger? I think that's just private Hamms...

>>53983257
I AM BURNING!
>>53983258
I CAN'T SEE, WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO GO?
>>53983264
MY MASK! IT BURNS, THE METAL BURNS MY SKIN!
>>53983265
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-Oh, thank you-AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

>Malallius would seem to appear from absolutely nowhere, smirking as he did so
Ah, the forefront against chaos
>>53983265
>Me being a Daemon in disguise as a guard, I'd be able to tell a chaos daemon spawn from anywhere
Very devious...

>>53983294
>Pawn builds a second tower which looks like an anti-air tower of a hive city

>>53983314
>droping the pyker, I grind my foot on his hand and let out a small growl

respect your betters witch

>>53983304
>The Commissar would return a few moments later, a purple and pink drink in his hand, and a line sitting on the edge of the glass.


Ahhh, it's no wonder that one Commissar, turned to heavy drinking to deal with his issues.

Thankfully, I'm not like him in any way whatsoever!

>He'd take a sip from the cup.

>>53983333
>I'd whisper into one of the spawn's many ears, speaking in Daemon whisper
Listen here, you wretched spawn. I know who you are. I know what you are. Tread carefully.

>>53983346
are you the leader of this fuckin rable?
these disgraceful insolent almost hetitics?

>>53983364
You will watch your mouth, Priest! These are good, loyal soldiers of the Imperium! And you WILL treat them as such!

>>53983334
Oh, I do respect them, whenever I meet them... That's going to leave a mark... Would you kindly remove your boot from my hand?
>>53983364
He is! He is, and he dislikes it when his favorite Astropath is being oppressed!
>>53983373
Yes, treat me as such!... Pretty please?

>>53983268
well so much for going diving

>>53983373
one was gambleing, another was just eaten, another looks like a bug, yet another I'm sure has some form of disease that gives him tenticals
and A FUCKING WITCH, had the NERVE to tell ME to leave this WORLD.

your reqimant is not doing good in its first impressions

>>53983391
>the confessor turns and fires a short burst of flames at the bastard setting his clothes aflame

YOU JUST MET ONE

>>53983400
Again, I'm pretty sure that was just private Hamms who did that...

>>53983413
looks like you were almost fired there, astropath
>chuckles

but seriously keep that flamer away from these charcoals I found, cant let them burn before the barbecue

I would hate to try and cool with plasma, it tastes worse than it smells

>>53983413
Gambling, although not the best use of one's time, and resources, allows the men to bond, and it helps to raise regimental moral!

Has for everything else, I'm sure the sun was merely in your eyes, or you misheard due to the sound of crashing waves, against the beach.

>>53983413
>Rolls on the ground, trying to put out the fire which is rather difficult because it is promethium after all
I CALL RACISM AND PSYCHIC POTENTIAL HARASSMENT!

>>53983417
id also probably poison anything that tried to or did eat me
>>53983373
>>53983413
Another Priest!
Oh
it just another one of them.
gambling and being a pysker are not illegal in the imperium of man and neither is being an abhuman

>>53983362
SCREEECH
>Gives something resembling middle finger

>>53983458
>tries to "borrow" a nearby fire extinguisher
hopefully the cogboys dont need this

>>53983458
>He'd quickly begin dumping sand and water onto him, in an effort to help put out the promethium based fire.

THRONE DAMMIT! THIS IS WHY THE REGIMENT CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS!

>>53983460
>nudge
SCREEEECH
>Gives a crude drawing of a boombox
SCREEECH?

>>53983446
keep that witch away from me or you can all have a taste of holy judgment, GOT IT?

>>53983458
ITS NOT RASISM, ITS FUCKING PEST CONTROL

>a bigger gought of flame licks at the pyker, turning the surrounding sand to glass

>>53983455
you had better hope commissar, you had better hope. any who onto my bussnes here

>>53983491
>He would pull the Astropath away, before anymore flames could be placed upon him.

>>53983486
what oh yes I have fixed the music box again.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fPmruHc4S9Q

>Out of seemingly nowhere, a massive warp portal would erupt in mid air, and from it only I would come out.
>I'd be send across the hot sand, my chainaxe and plasma pistol on my belt

File: IMG_0139.jpg (404KB, 599x908px) Image search: [Google]

404KB, 599x908px

>>53983491
*i call racism rawr*

>>53983523
* I propose that I consume you immediately rawr*

Rolled 18 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>53983523
HERETIC DIE SCUM, MAY THE EMPROR HAVE MERCY UPON YOU

>my flamer and power sword light up and lance at the being

AAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH

>>53983532
I WILL PURGE YOU AS WELL UNLESS YOU DO YOUR JOBS

Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>53983523
>Waves
SCREEECH
>Begins building a central cathedral

>>53983549
>taking the brute by surprise I shear off one of his large wrought pauldrins and half of his helm

AVE IMPERITOR

Rolled 18 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>53983549
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD
>in a khornate rage I'd chrage the man with my chainaxe

Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>53983554
>Pawn looks at the detailed tower
>Pawn looks at the cathedral
SCREEECH
>Pawn breaks the cathedral and starts again

>>53983549
*confused rawr*
*i didn't think I had a job rawr*

>>53983485
HELP! PLEASE!
>>53983491
IT BURNS, ALMOST AS BAD AS THE STAR!
>>53983511
To be frank, I do believe putting out the fire is the top priority.
>>53983549
>>53983563
To be honest, I'm rooting for the heretic.

>>53983575
*that looks like the commissars face if he was a heretic rawr*
*are you trying to tell us something rawr?*

>>53983574
ok, don't just add a fucking +7 to your attack, that's bullshit, and you know it! Otherwise things are really gonna get out of hand with attacks.

>>53983523
>>53983549
>watching with a pained expresstion
Im staying out of this
>turning around
Anyone for volleyball? Or tennis?

Rolled 13 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>53983574
>taking a savage swipe to my armour, I rip thee battered arm peace from my limb

DIE MUTANT FILTH

>>53983579
GUARDSMEN ASSIST WITH THIS THINGS SUBDUAL

Rolled 1 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>53983563
>I'd smash my chainaxe straight into the brain of the confessor
BLOOD! BLOOD!

File: tyranid_ripper.jpg (49KB, 600x436px) Image search: [Google]

49KB, 600x436px

>>53983575
>Cathedral is destroyed under it's own weight
>something jumps out of it's ruins

>>53983584
Yeah, well! You try putting out flames, when someone adds more promethium to the blaze!

>He'd continue to put out the flames as quickly as possible.

Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>53983600
PSYCHIC SCREAM

Rolled 18 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>53983600
>My left arm would be torn off, but I'd immediately charge and plant my chainaxe into the man's torso
SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!

Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>53983602
>turning aside the blade, it cuts into your hand
[nat one]
>my blade takes off the rest of your helm

[roll to resist

>>53983584
SCREECH
>Pawn picks up Grov and throws him into the sea

>>53983602
>>53983600
seriously guys! Enough with the +5 and +7 bonuses! A +1 should only ever used in extreme circumstances!

>>53983613
>throws some liquid nitrogen on the fire
There its out
want to play tennis?

>>53983614
A moderately large outburst of cripplingly loud sound sears through the once peaceful beach, shattering all drinking glasses and wrecking havoc on unmodified earlobes

Rolled 10 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>53983626
>Seeing he rolled low, it would not go through, and I would reverse this and send my chainexe through your shoulder joint in an attempt to take off your right arm

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>53983626
>the confeesor slumps slightly as the scream tears through his mind

>>53983633
sorry]

>>53983584
>the arch confessor trys to kill the hertic pyker

>>53983634
*tennis sounds fun rawr* *let me play rawr*

>>53983633
I put mine high because of khornate rage and blood for the blood god

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>53983643
[welp you resisted the pycic scream]

>staggering to my feet, I try to deflect the attack

>>53983634
>raises "arm"
SCREEECH

>>53983652
Right ive got some spare rackets
anyone else?

Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>53983657
*have you ever considered worshipping the four armed emperor instead?*

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>53983663
Yourself not deflecting the attack, the chainaxe would go right through, tearing your arm off
>I'd follow up by sending my chainaxe through your neck

Rolled 8 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>crashing to the ground my arm is in ruin and my sword falls to the ground, my next attack sprays promethean everywhere

[AOE, roll to dodge]

>>53983628
>Immediately kicks and splashes panicked to the surface
Don't throw people with no eyes into the water!
>clambers to the shore holding his mask
The salty water... In my eye sockets...
>>53983649
>Ducks away from the attack
Watch it! You might have killed me!

>>53983665
> He'd let out a sigh, as the battle of stupidity continues to happen in the background.

If the Astropath is fine and or dead, then sure.

>>53983678
why the +3

[beat 11, shit]

>the confessor leaps back from the strike, this time losing his left leg

>>53983689
[AOE, not aiming so theres more chance to hit you...and you would win easy. this is the last attack anyhow]

(Forgot to mention this in the first post. But here is a link to the group discord channel, incase people wish to talk.
https://discord.gg/daHKe )

Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>53983700
Guy said max was +1, but whatever

>I'd try to dodge the AOE attack

>>53983709
>The liquid would slightly melt my armour, but would not reach my skin

>>53983665
*due to my completely human form rawr, I need 4 rackets rawr*

Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>53983678
THE PRIEST IS OFFICIALLY CRAZIER THAN THE HERETIC!

>>53983709
[FUCK MAN, I MAKE THIS EASY]

>the confessor laughs, and closes his eyes as the tank runs out, then he hurls a small scroll to the commissar and looks at the raging beserker

come on then heretic LET ME MEET MY GOD LIKE YOURS NEVER WILL, HAHAHAHAHAHA

Rolled 3 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>53983678
>Seeing you are on the ground, I'd smash my chainaxe into your neck

>>53983733
>As the fighting continues, the Commissar would be lazing around on a floaty out in the water. A pair of sun glasses over his natural and bionic eye, and his Commissar cap, placed upon his head.
>He'd seem to be ignoring whatever was going on.

>>53983752
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
>HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>the confessor punches you in the face

COME ON YOU SNIVLING WORSHIPER OF A WEAK GOD

>>53983733
>Leaps back into the water with even more serious burns

Rolled 3 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>53983752
Rolling low god dammit
>Seeing as I missed, I'd go in for another attack while you were immobile and on the ground

Rolled 11 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>53983771
>I'D GO IN FOR ANOTHER FUCKING BLOW TO THE MAN'S FACE WITH MY GOD DAMN MOTHER FUCKING CHAINAXE WHILE THE MAN IS FUCKING IMMOBILE ON THE GOD DAMN MOTHER FUCKING GROUND
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOOOOOOOOOOOD

Rolled 5 (1d5)

>>53983771
>the confessor hits you again dealing [this damage]

>>53983780
YAY

>the confeesor dies
weakling

>>53983794
>The Khorne Berserker would let out a sigh as he was hit, getting dazed slightly by the extremely weak and now dead man. I'd snap back out of it

>>53983682
Right we've got four people so doubles
how do we want to split up

>>53983807
a strange sense of rage and pain permeates your skull, leaving you strangely weak but enraged

>>53983813
*me and the astropath vs rawrveryone else rawr?

>>53983760
>>53983845
>clambers back to the Commissar
Sir? I do believe I have received enough of a sunburn for today. May I return to the Devourer?
>Peels off all of his skin from elbow to his fingertips

>>53983807
>Waves
SCREEEECH
>Searches map for any gift shops

>>53983832
Blood... BLOOD!
>I'd begin tearing the dead body limb by limb, and smashing his head open

>>53983866
>the rage seems to build but so does the faint pain, oddly its not you who you sense being hurt

> the skull explodes into fragments. denying you your sacrafice

>>53983856
>>53983834
well the astropath seems unintrested so me and the Lt. vs you and private notta?

>>53983856
>Puts on a straw hat
>Puts a straw hat on Grov
SCREEECH
>Points at a nearest cocktail bar
SCREEEECH

>>53983884
No, you simply can't just kill me like that. I refuse to die to some bullshit pain

>>53983887
*sounds good rawr*

>>53983893
or we could go drinking
or go for a swim
or dance?

Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>53983856
>He'd lower his sunglasses, and stares at the Astropath.

I warned you people, you should have packed sunscreen, before we left! Now we'll be at a tactical disadvantage in our next fight! Great job, Astropath!

>>53983807
>>53983794
>His eye would twitch, as he watched the two violently go at it.
>Pulling out a frag grenade (if you have to wonder where, you probably don't want to know.), He would pull the pin, and lob it towards them, in an effort to stop their idiotic destruction of the beach.

>>53983884
Wait, did my skull explode or the bodies?

>>53983900
SCREEECH
>Ponts at a cocktail bar

> current thread theme https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvUQcnfwUUM

>>53983894
[no its not you that's diying, it isn't even hurting you]

>>53983906
the bodys, you got a bit too exited

>>53983913
Drinks it is

Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>53983904
>Looking towards the commissar now, my Khornate Rage would fucking skyrocket
>I'd go into a murderous charge, smashing my chainaxe into your torso

>>53983932
SCREEECH
>Picks up Grov and Gelt and lumbers toward the cocktail bar

>>53983894
>>53983884
I agree with that. At the very least you should roll an attack. 11+ is it hits, with a higher number representing more damage. The only time you'll obviously have killed someone, is on a nat 20, and even then, the player getting hit, can determine whether or not the attack kills or badly maims them.

>>53983942
>hes out in the ocean you'd have to swim and you sink

>>53983942
>the borrowed rage gives you additional incentive, but seems to be directed towards the witch.

[its basically a tzeech demon fucking with you]
rolling to persuade

>>53983965
commissar see>>53983921

>>53983966
o, disregard that then

>>53983966
>>53983942
>He's not wrong you know... I am on a floaty out on the ocean. You sink to the ground before reaching me. Likely why the grenade fucked up.

Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>53983988
[fuck chapa hates me to night

>>53983988
>The Khornate Daemon would simply be incapable of being augmented by Tzeentch. Khorne has already taken his mind

>>53983932
*no tennis then rawr?*

>Suddenly a portal would open below the Berserkers feet, and he would sink through, never to be seen again

>>53984011
okay um let me explain a few things here okay. I'm aware this warp shittery don't affect khornates much, if at all. but there has been a khornate before who was...altered by a tzeechian. and I'm only doing this because I need a new character and have no ideas

>>53984013
I believe the vote was for getting utterly smashed, then we can dance and karaoke before going swimming and fist fighting a innocent shark

>>53984044
a drunken field chirurgeon could be fun! But in the end, play what you want to play as. If you want to be a soroitas, go for it. A Catachan that is a wimp, go for it.

>>53984055
*sounds great rawr, I will start drinking the ocean rawr*

>>53984055
Oh! I think they have a karaoke cabana bar just up the beach! If we go now, we can probably be first to get a booth!

>>53984079
[okay drunkard coming up.....for fucksake this wont go well]

>another drop ship lands on the beech, a man hopps out and looks about

>>53984095
SCREEECH
>Pawn goes to the cabana bar while holding Gelt and firmy holding Grov

what hell hole have I been tossed into?

>he looks around

oh great...a pleasure world

Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>53984129
>He'd follow after them, and would get in line.
>After a few moments of waiting, he'd pay for a booth for the little group, before picking the first song, and singing to it.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=iFRa0KZsGhc

To the hive of Aguafrias came a stranger one grim day
Hardly spoke to the Arbites, didn't have too much to say
No one dared to slit his purse-strings, no one dared to make a slip
for the black-clad man among them had a boltgun on his hip
Boltgun on his hip
(Rolling for performance.)

>>53984095
*ocean drinking intensifies*

>taking out a small needle from a case at my hip, I look around for some unsuspecting local

>>53984187
>pausing at the bar, he looks at the musicians and sneers
"I could do better"
>and continues on

Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>53984187
Nice. My Turn
The daemon went down to Terra,
He was looking for a soul to steal.
He was in a bind 'cos he was way behind: he was willin' to make a deal.
When he came across this young man chainswordin' on a fiddle and playin' it hot.
And the daemon jumped upon a hickory stump and said: "Boy, let me you what:"
"I bet you didn't know it, but I'm a fiddle player too."
"And if you'd care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you."
"Now you play a pretty good fiddle, boy, but give the daemon his due:"
"I bet a fiddle of gold against your soul, 'cos I think I'm better than you."
The boy said: "Mah nahme's Boreale ahnd it might be ah sin,"
"But Ah'll take yooouuur bet, yoouugghhrr gonna regrort, 'cos Ah'm the best thawt's ever beahn."
Boreale, rosin up your bow and play your fiddle hard,
'Cause hellwarp's broke loose in Terra and Tzeentch deals the cards.
And if you win you get this shiny fiddle made of gold.
But if you lose, the daemon gets your soul.
The daemon opened up his case and he said, "I'll start this show."
And blue fire flew from his fingertips as he rosined up his bow.
And he pulled the bow across the strings and it made an evil hiss.
Then a band of Nurglings joined in and it sounded somethin' like this:
When the daemon finished, Boreale said,
"Worl, you're prehtty guud, oorrld sawn,"
"But sit dorn in that cheer rigghht ther and let me show you whore it's dorne"
Fire on the monolith.
Run, boys, run
Slaanesh in the House of the Rising Sun.
Squiqs in the bread pan pickin' out dough.
Granny, does your cyberdog bite?
No, child, no.
The daemon bowed his head because he knew that he'd been beat.
And he laid that golden fiddle on the ground at Boreale's feet.
Boreale said, "Daemon, just cuhm on baahhck if you ever wahnt to trah agahin."
"'Cause Ah told you once, you son of a grot,"
"Ah'm the best that's evah bihn."
>rolling for performance

>>53984202
SCREEEECH
>Pawn places down Gelt and Grov and goes to oder itself a drink
>As Pawn comes to the stall some people run away in terror and Pawn points at the Salamander drink; A green/red drink which is on fire like those fancy drinks in vox-shows

Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>53984215
Booooooo!
>I'd throw a tomato at your face at full strength
>rolling to see power of throw

>>53984215
>Matthias' ears would be in pained at the apparently tone deaf Magos.

GRAAAAAAAH! STOP! PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF THE EMPEROR! STOP SINGING!

>He'd desperately scramble to pull the mic out from the machine, before the Magos blew everyone's ear drums out.

>>53984242
shit, forgot to change my name. I'm tempestus scion mantrek faun

>>53984215
>the trooper walked up behind the cogboy, and slapped him on the back in an open palmed punch.

Hey mate, you with this bloody legion?

Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>53984215
SCREEEECH
>Pawn comes to the stage and picks up microphone
SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH
SCREEECH SCREEEECH SREEEECH SCREEEECH SCREEEECH SCREEEEEEEEEECH
>Rolling for performance

>The Techpriest, after harvesting materials on the drop ship, would walk out from it, looking around at the surroundings

Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>53984275
>Upon hearing the screeching, I'd take out my Volkite blaster, shooting the sound system

>>53984275
>His ears would ache at the constant barrage of yelling and untimed screeching that was coming from the Tyranids infiltrator.

GOD EMPEROR ON TERRA! THIS WAS A HORRIBLE IDEA!!!!

>He'd once again be forced to unplug the mic from the machine.

Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>53984275
uhhhhhh. never heard that one befire
>>53984260
Yeah the commissars the one in the floatly in the ocean
>>53984242
>>53984251
Here let me try again
A Space Marine is a soaring soul,
Far greater than a mortal man,
His energetic fist should be ready to resist
Any heretical plan.
His nose should pant,
and his lip should curl,
His cheeks should flame,
and his brow should furl,
His bosom should heave,
and his hearts should glow,
And his fist be ever ready for a knock-down blow.

His nose should pant and his lip should curl,
His cheeks should flame and his brow should furl,
His bosom should heave and his hearts should glow,
And his fist be ever ready for a knock-down blow.

His eyes should flash with an inborn fire,
His brow with scorn be wrung;
He never should bow down to a filthy xenos frown,
Or the tang of a traitor tongue.

His foot should stamp,
and his throat should growl,
His sword should twirl,
and his face should scowl,
His eyes should flash like a conqueror
And he should ever bellow "for the Emperor!"

His foot should stamp, and his throat should growl,
His sword should twirl, and his face should scowl;
His eyes should flash like a conqueror,
And he should ever bellow "for the Emperor!", the Emperor, the Emperor, the Emperor!
>rolling for singing skills

Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>53984299
>I'd rush over to the stage, pushing the spawn off of it.
Allow me, gentlemen, to sing the glorious war cant of mars!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wy-sVTaZRPk

>>53984299
Oi you bugger your a tech boy, you can't do that

>looks at his shot

You relay can't do that. AHah

back in a min

>>53984309
>Matthias would let out a sigh of utter relief at this point.

Thank the Emperor.... I thought I was going to lose my hearing!

Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>53984309
*pausing from my ocean drinking, I take the stage for some classic karaoke*
*Iä! Iä! Tyrannicus fhtagn,
Iä! Iä! Tyrannicus fhtagn.
Ra ra! Tyrannicus fhtagn
Consume the beatbags! Tyrannicus fhtagn

>>53984305
excuse me but I'm a chaos spawn

>>53984329
>Matthias would actually be somewhat moved by the vocals of the Tech-priest.
>You could actually FEEL the power behind his voice.

Not bad!

>>53984352
ARRRRGH!!!! STOP! PLEASE STOP!

>He'd unplug the mic, before he got to far into the song.

Gah! You people are terrible! Only one of us seems to have any sort of talent!

Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>53984360
It can take us a bit to warm up but us tech priests can sing quite well

Repeat x2]
My mechadendrites bring all the boys to the yard,
And they're like,
The best forge world's Mars!
Damn right the best forge world's Mars!
We can teach you,
'Bout St. Tesla's electric charge.

I know you want xenotech,
The thing that makes free energy,
What explorators go crazy for.
They lose their minds
If the warp unbinds
Before they get out in time.

[Chorus x2]
La la-la la la,
Warm it up.
La la-la la la,
AdMech toys are waiting.

My mechadendrites bring all the boys to the yard,
And they're like,
The best forge world's Mars!
Damn right the best forge world's Mars!
We can teach you,
'Bout St. Tesla's electric charge.

I can see the machine spirit.
You want to be just some skitarii?
Tech geeks and freaks with toys
That can't be bought.
Just know: heretics get caught.
Watch out if you're smart,

[Chorus x2]
La la-la la la,
Warm it up.
La la-la la la,
AdMech toys are waiting.

My mechadendrites bring all the boys to the yard,
And they're like,
The best forge world's Mars!
Damn right the best forge world's Mars!
We can teach you,
'Bout St. Tesla's electric charge.

Omnissiah says "get involved."
Enginseers practice every day so
You must maintain your firearm.
Same time maintain your iron halo
And you will learn to mend.
(Plus work on our titans!)
Then next honour spark plugs, the wheel and flint.
Then starting your car is a blessed event!

[Chorus x2] La la-la la la,
Warm it up.
La la-la la la,
AdMech toys are waiting.

My mechadendrites bring all the boys to the yard,
And they're like,
The best forge world's Mars!
Damn right the best forge world's Mars!
We can teach you,
'Bout St. Tesla's electric charge.
>rollan

Rolled 90 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>53984383
*watch how it's done robodouche, my music is far superior rawr*

>>53984383
Please... Just STOP! I think your vocal processors need a through scrubbing, and fixing!

>>53984398
>He'd actually be rather moved by the creature's song. Tears streaming down his cheeks.

>Suddenly, our fun would get interrupted by an alarm. It was going off as a horde of xenos was detected to be coming for us
>A small Ork warband was headed for our position!

Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>53984383
>Again picks up the mocrophone
SCREEEEECH SCREEE SCREEE SCREEECH
SCRE SCRE SCRE SCREEEEECH
SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH
>Rollin for performance

let us 'ave a go

'erd this one from them astartes

ahem

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tqo9NXkRaPk

Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>53984466
Whoa, thought it was a nightmare
Throne it was so true
They told me don't go walking slow
There's daemons on the loose
Better run through the death world
Better run through the death world
Better run through the death world
Whoa don't look back to see
Thought I heard a rumblin'
Calling to my name
Two hundred million guns are loaded
Horus cries "take aim"
Better run through the death world
Better run through the death world
Better run through the death world
Whoa don't look back to see
Over on the mountain, thunder magic spoke
Let the people know my wisdom
Fill the land with smoke
Better run through thejungled
Better run through the death world
Better run through the death world
Whoa don't look back to see

Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>53984469
Bring the platoon standard, lads, we'll sing another song
Sing it with a spirit that will start this world along.
Sing it as we'll always sing it, quadrillions strong,
As we fight for the Emprah!
Hoorah! Hoorah! We march with his glory.
Hoorah! Hoorah! His light shall make you free.
So we'll carry his name from Agrip'naa to Delphi,
As we fight for the Emprah!
How the xenos howl when our flamers end all their fun,
How the cultists scream out when they march into our guns,
How the foe cries out for mercy when there will be none,
As we fight for the Emprah!
Hoorah! Hoorah! We march with his glory.
Hoorah! Hoorah! His light shall make you free.
So we'll carry his name from Agrip'naa to Delphi,
As we fight for the Emprah!
Yes, and there were heretics who wept with painful tears
having felt our noble will they had denied for years.
How the Inquisition now brings them justice so dear,
As we fight for the Emprah!
Hoorah! Hoorah! We march with his glory.
Hoorah! Hoorah! His light shall make you free.
So we'll carry his name from Agrip'naa to Delphi,
As we fight for the Emprah!
Your Imperium will die under my great onslaught!
So that Failbaddon said and that is what he thought,
But indeed we shall triumph for arms he has forgot,
As we fight for the Emprah!
Hoorah! Hoorah! We march with his glory.
Hoorah! Hoorah! His light shall make you free.
So we'll carry his name from Agrip'naa to Delphi,
As we fight for the Emprah!
So we fight at Creed's right hand and Cadia shall hold,
For the Emprah stands with us and all rebels shall fold,
And we can hide Titans behind barricades we're told,
As we fight for the Emprah!
Hoorah! Hoorah! We march with his glory.
Hoorah! Hoorah! His light shall make you free.
So we'll carry his name from Agrip'naa to Delphi,
As we fight for the Emprah!

Alert! Alert! My life signals are sky-rocketing! 01010111 01100001 01110010!

Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>53984505
oh sit down ya daft bastard

>A serynge flicks from my sleeves and lances at the priest

take a load off and sleep

>>53984505
[we are so challenging them to a sing off]

Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>53984531
You's keep sayin' you's got sumfing for me.
Sumfing you call WAAAGH!, but 'fess up.
You's been muckin' where ya shudn' be muckin'
An' now some uver gitz got all ya swag.
Dese gitz was made fer choppin', an' dats just wot they'll do.
One uv dese days da ladz is gunna stomp all uver you.
You's keep lootin' when you's ought ta be krumpin'
An' you's gots no wins, only beats.
You's stayin' weedy when ya ought ta be 'ard
Now wotz proppa's proppa, an' ya ain' been proppa yet.
Dese gitz was made fer choppin', an' dats just wot they'll do.
One uv dese days da ladz is gunna stomp all uver you.
You's keep sulkin' where ya 'spose ta be loud.
An' you's keep finkin' you's sumfin' speshul.
Ha! Gotz me a brand new Choppa wotz dead killy,
An' I ain' 'ad time fer breakin' it in...
Ready ya gitz? Start choppin'!

>>53984543
SCREEEEECH
>Runs away

Lads, please be serious
>An Ork boy would launch himself straight for Magos Gelt!
>I'd send my aim to the Ork boy with my Volkite Charger!
>I'd fire a shot into him!

Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>53984562
>rolling to hit

>>53984543
try this ya big Jessie

you cant sing as good a human
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y61DLw88dBA

your not green enough to be good

Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>53984549
>>53984562
Load up da trukks
Bring yer boyz
`Kuz we's haulin'
Out all da toyz
Da `oomies run
Frum dakka gunz
I knows I knows
We's number one
ELLO ELLO ELLO ELLO
ELLO ELLO ELLO ELLO
ELLO ELLO ELLO ELLO
ELLO ELLO ELLO-
Oomies can't `urt us wit' flamers
`Ere we go now
Orky raidaz
I squish pinkies wit' my anus
`Ere we go now
Orky raidaz
Cuz its choppy
Cuz its bashy
Cuz its dakka
Cuz we's sneaky
YA
Winnin' is what Orks do best
`Cause by Mork we's all been bless'd
Our mighty WAAAAAAAGH `as always been
And always will until the end
ELLO ELLO ELLO ELLO
ELLO ELLO ELLO ELLO
ELLO ELLO ELLO ELLO
ELLO ELLO ELLO-
Oomies can't `urt us wit' flamers
`Ere we go now
Orky raidaz
Now I'm out dere, smashin' faces
`Ere we go now
Orky raidaz
Cuz its choppy
Cuz its bashy
Cuz its dakka
Cuz we's sneaky
YA

And I forgitz
Just wot it was
Oh ya, I think a melta bomb
I found it dere
It's tikkin' now
Oh well, I'll toss it at doze grots.
ELLO ELLO ELLO ELLO
ELLO ELLO ELLO ELLO
ELLO ELLO ELLO ELLO
ELLO ELLO ELLO-
Oomies can't `urt us wit' flamers
`Ere we go now
Orky raidaz
I'm outta words, so I's WAAAAAAAAAAGH!
`Ere we go now
Orky raidaz
Cuz its choppy
Cuz its bashy
Cuz its dakka
Cuz we's sneaky
CUZ IT'S A WAAAAAAAAAGH!
CUZ IT'S A WAAAAAAAAAAGH!
CUZ IT'S A WAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
CUZ IT'S A WAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
CUZ IT'S A WAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>53984585
>sending my aim to the rokka now
>I'd fire a shot into it's head
>rolling to hit

>>53984675if ya gitz don't want a rokk off then we just leaven and find some propah umies that ain't afraid to foight

>he'd look at the people around him singing
Huh, doing a musical now?
>he flicks his lho and coughs
Well, might as well see if these old lungs still work
>he coughs and hits his lungs
This one's from my homeworld
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LZDJUTYDiq8

Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>53984791

Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>53984791
UND DAS HEISST
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERIKA
>The techpriest would sing a duet with him

>>53984787
>>53984675
Wow you made an ork too sad to fight didnt know that could be done. Anyways now that we've imbibed and karioked anyone want to go diving with me? Youd be surprised at the amount of sweet archeo tech you can find on ocean floors

>>53984810
>he coughs out a few times during his preformance, but all in all not the worst
Heh, ol' lungs ain't working that good no more, living on a deathworld'll do that to ya...

Also lho. A copious amount of lho's

Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>53984899
*this is how you sing a good tyrannical tune old man rawr*
Eat food, lalala
Eat people, lalala
Eat the world, lalala
Eat just about anything you can find, lalala
Eat the galaxy, lalala
Eat the universe, lalala
Eat it all.

>>53985080
Walls and glass shatter under the sound of this terrible song. Most beings within the general area temporarily lose the ability to hear.

>>53985080
>a warp vortex opens to cagramough and there is the captin, half dead surrounded by many dozens of foes

>he looks through the portal

THAT I MORE PAINFULL THAN MY TIME HERE

>the votex closes

>>53985160

who was he?

and I'm finally back! Sorry about that guys. Spent the last little while priming the sprues of those 44 primaris marines I got last week. Used up almost an entire can of primer on them.

>>53985080
>The Commissar. All the way on his floaty out on the water, would look up as he hears this Throne awful sound. Wondering what it could possibly be.
>That is... Up until his floaty is dragged out into the ocean by a massive tidal wave, as the sound waves from such an ungodly noise, begin to fuck with the very laws of physics.

Oh Emperor! Please no!

>He is then carried towards the beach by this massive four story tidal wave, before crashing painfully into the sandy beach. His head buried deep in the sand.

>>53985466
>He'd try desperately to escape from his current predicament. But would be firmly lodged in place in the sand. His legs sticking fully up, as if he were a flag pole.

>>53985490
*anyone for an encore rawr?*

>>53985543
>Matthias has actually passed out from listening to such a horrendous noise.

>>53985567
*sigh, everybody's a critic rawr*

>>53985617
>Half of the local population within fourth meters of him, would be passed out, or forthing at the mouth.
>Every window within five city blocks has been shattered. And people are saying the laws of physics have been broken in the neighboring village.

>>53985490
Sir I've been sent to be your aid for my field training. Should I come back another time when you are in a better condition or should I just wait here?

>>53985643
*no respect for the classics rawr*

>>53985662
>The older man's legs would angerly jerk about at the sound of the Junior Commissar's voice. As angry, muffled shouts are heard coming from sand where the older man's head would be stuck.
>The other man would get the feeling he was being ordered to immediately drip everything he was doing, and assist the speedo wearing Commissar immediately!

>>53985771
Yes sir.
>The Junior Commissar begins to help his superior out of the sand and after about half a minute of struggling he is freed.

There you go my lord.

>>53985814
I am curious as to just who you are... I doubt your a regular, like everyone else. You new to this?

>>53985858
ok, wow my phone's autocorrect is acting up.... Holy shit... Ignore everything this post says and focus on this one
>>53985814
> The older man, would spit out a mouth full of white sand, back onto the beach, before turning to face the new Commissar.

Thank you for the assistance... I'm not exactly sure WHAT just happened... But I'm sure as hell, taking it as an offense to my personal honour!

>He'd then take a moment to examine the supposed 'Junior Commissar'. Curious as to whom he may be, and where he was from.

>>53985858
>The Junior Commissar is wearing a standard uniform seeming really out of place
>He solutes
Junior Commissar Ragland Tollum from the Shrine World of Ollanioum Prime at your service my Lord.

>>53985885
Yes I'm new I'm a big fan of these threads and thought I would participate if it's ok

>>53985975
no need to ask pal, new comers are always welcomed! Don't mind the heresy though.

>The older man would nod his head at this, before returning the salute, and offering his junior a handshake.

Pleasure to meet you Junior Commissar Tollum! Commissar Arthur Knochenmus, current commanding Officer of the Unknown Regiment. Welcome to the Paradise world of Celidorn IV!

You've come at a rather unusual time, Tollum. As the regiment is on its first day of vacation!

(By the way, if you wish to, feel free to join the group discord, via the following link! https://discord.gg/gtrA9 )

>>53985975
*new meat rawr*
*tasty rawr*

>>53986090
>The young junior shakes the older mans hand

Pleasure to meet you as well my Lord, and yes they informed me that the regiment was on vacation at this time but they said any field work is good field work and that this particular situation would help me learn to interact with the troops.

>>53986176
And excuse me what?

File: You_Doodle_2017-06-11T16_55_29Z.jpg (794KB, 768x1024px) Image search: [Google]

794KB, 768x1024px

>>53986268
*you would look great as a secondary course rawr*

>>53986268
Yes, Segmentum Command, does know what they're doing after all! This is probably the best time for you too arrive, and get to know own the troops!

Although, I would suggest bring a little less formal when at a beach resort...

>>53986324
I figured it best to dress well for our first meeting, I shall get changed as soon as possible.

>>53986313
And should I be concerned about this sir?

>>53986176
....rawr?
>he looks at it, utterly confused

>>53986268
SCREEEEECH
>Extends "hand" for a handshake

>>53986356
That would be a rather good, Tollum. It's far too hot to be stuck in a stuffy suit.

As for >>53986313, I wouldn't be. He's just one of our Abhuman troopers! And a damn good one at that!

>>53986358
Yes trooper! That's how some Feral worlder a talk!

>>53986358
*agreement rawr*

>>53986415
*proud rawr*

Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>53986374
*i challenge you to the most epic sandcastle showdown ever envisioned rawr*
*best of three rawr*
*check this shit rawr*

>>53986374
Uh....
>he cautiously extends his hand and shakes the Pvt.'s "hand

>>53986415
I guess I've been held up on my world for too long, first hand contact with Feral worlders is not common so I was taken aback. On the other note with your permission I shall go find a beach stall to change

>The young Commissar solutes and heads off in search of a changing stall.

Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>53986460
SCREEECH
>Begins building sandcastle

Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>53986493
*muhahaha, round one is mine rawr*
*my next castle will secure my victory rawr*

Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>53986532
SCREEEECH
>Tries again

>>53986484
Very good!

>>53986543
*muahhahahahahahar, I knew it rawr!*
*this competition is mine and my castles shall rule the galaxy rawr!*

>>53986544
*commisar rawr!*
*i challenge you to a sandcastle competition for the privelidge of leading the unknown regiment rawr!*
*best of three rawr*

>>53986544
>The Junior Commissar returns wearing standard issue swimming shorts and is still wearing is Junior Commissar hat
Good to finally be out of that suit on this nice day. And to be on a planet that is much less up tight than my home planet. Dealing with the Ministorum is never a pleasant experience, especially the Sororitas they were always very belligerent to the up and coming Commissars.

>>53986773
That will never do I'm afraid!

Besides! My mastery of fortification building, far suprasses that of your own! You could never hope to beat me!
>>53986841
Ah yes, Emperor blesd the Ministering, and it's priests! It is through their holy work, that every man, woman, and child, will feel the light of the Emperor upon them!

...they're still massive plasteel dicks when it comes to wanting to be incharge of things...

>>53986941
Yes they do good work, and after spending some time on a hive world during my training as a cadet I realized that the Ministorum were quite lenient on my planet. My orders on those planets were so sadistic at times I thought the Inquisition had sent them.

>>53987171
It would not surprise me, if such things were actually happening behind the scenes.

>The older Commissar would take a sip of his fruity Pink and purple beverage.

Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>53986941
*oh really rawr?*
*prove it then rawr, outdo my most brilliant creation yet rawr!*

Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>53987246
>The Commissar would roll his eyes.

Very well trooper.

>>53987209
Well if you would excuse me sir I beleive I shall take my leave, the night cycle here is opposite the last planet I was on and I feel weary.

I have to head off to work but I'll return afterwords

>>53987316
*gasp, you truly are a magnificent fortress builder rawr* *your masterpiece puts even the work of royal corn to shame rawr!*
*i admit defeat rawr*

>>53987418
oh fuck I said royal corn instead of regal corn

>>53987436
[spoiler} ROGAL DORN [/spoiler]

>>53987450
fuck this and fuck me im going to bed

>>53987436
>>53987450
>>53987468
kek!

>open the door of the karaoke bar
by the Tau'va what is happening here ?

>The techpriest would recieve a call from the mechanicum
>I was promoted to Magos for my STC procurement a week ago
10100001011111010010110111010001001010!

>>53987682
Ah, and who exactly might you be, trooper? That's quite the odd complextion you have on you! And no nose either! How strange....

I suppose you're one of our auxiliaries, aren't you.

>Suddenly, a massive fireball would appear out of the sky
>The fireball would crash into the ground. It was a giant capsule
>The capsule would open, revealing an Imperial Knight
>The imperial knight would talk, letting out a loud voice from it
Imperial Knight Godfrey Maxon from House Terryn, reporting for duty in this regiment.

>>53987683
>10100001011111010010110111010001001010
01001001 00100000 01110011 01110100 01101001 01101100 01101100 00100000 01101111 01110101 01110100 00100000 01110010 01100001 01101110 01101011 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101

>>53987726
ah... yes, the auxilliaries
FOR THE AUN'VA EMPEROR!
where do you need me Shas'nel

>>53987741
that's a big battle suit

>>53987815
>Analyzing protocol, life source, determined Xenos
>Xenos incursion detected, extermination of all those who oppose the Emperor, engaged
>I'd get into my battle stance, aiming my gatling cannon at you
Any last words, Xenos filth?

>>53987756
That's a rather strange name for our mighty Emperor...

But very well! You Feral worlder a, all have such unique, and colourful languages! It always amazes me.
>>53987741
HOW DO WE AFFORD THESE THINGS!?!

>>53987844
FOR THE EMPEROR
>get behind Shas'nel Kno'che'nmus

>>53987869
>Xenos quoted as saying "For the emperor"
>Xenos slave to the Imperium detected, standing down
>Xenos protocol, do not fire upon Xeno slaves
My apologies, slave. Keep working, for the Emperor.

>>53987851
Not too sure but fuck, Imperial Knights sure are cool

>>53987894
by the Tau'va that thing is as large as a riptide

>>53987953
Slave, I require you to go on a mission with me. I have detected a Xenos incursion a few miles from this area. You will not be asked, you will be ordered.

>>53987992
what are the Be'gels were fighting

>>53987992
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY XENOS INCURSIONS ON A PARADISE WORLD!
I JUST WANTED TO TAKE OFF THE ROBES GO SWIMMING AND ACHIVE SOME SICK GAINS WHILE DRINKING ALL THE RUM

>>53988019
Detection of an Ork Xenos incursion. You will climb onto my hull and scout out the enemy and I will fire upon them.
>I'd grab the Tau with my Thunderstrike Gauntlet, putting him on the top of my hull

>>53988041
Magos, I will require repairs.
>I'd grab the Magos, also placing him ontop of my hull

File: Barkeep O.png (224KB, 720x999px) Image search: [Google]

224KB, 720x999px

Wha' the 'ell are ya crazy bas'ards doin' to me feckin' ba'? Don' you go bringin' ya big feckin' walkin' huge bas'ard in 'ere o' Oy'll 'ave ya balls for billa'd balls with whic' Oy'll use to play feckin' billa'ds!

>>53988041
Wha's this abou' Xenos? Oy think ya big walkin' bas'ard 'as a few bol's loose in 'is feckin' thinke' box. The only Xenos Oy've seen is a few o' those knoife ea'd pricks and on of 'em is moun'ed to me wall!

>this song would play as began stomping towards the Xenos incursion
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2W1Wi2U9sQ
Tonight we slaughter for the Emperor

>>53988067
Scout out ?
Fine i got this
Shas'vre, when you see the red light on an enemy apply the mont'ka strategy, hit fast and hard
>pull out is markerlight

>>53988196
>The knight would make its way deep through the island's jungles. Crossing over small hills, and destroying small plantations along the way.
>When he eventually reached the supposed "Xeno's incursion". He would find nothing there, save for about thirty children dressed up as Orks, and space marines.

>>53988259
Seriously? What a fucking buzzkill. I wanted some action

Wait Shas'vre, these are not foul Be'gel, they are small Gue'la don't shoot and let them mount on you hull

Sorry guys. People don't like that I am rping as an imperial knight, so from here on out, void anything I have done.

File: O'malley's Masterpiece.jpg (141KB, 613x600px) Image search: [Google]

141KB, 613x600px

>Gestures to a crudely painting of an Eldar woman on the wall
Oy admi' i's no' the bes' pain'in' in the wo'ld bu' i' took me feckin' hou's to thin me pain's!

>>53988282
you brought a KNIGHT to a paradise world, covered in islands and ocean. You expected a giant c'tan to fight?

If you want action, I'd suggest waiting for tomorrow's thread. Today's was for fun, and silliness... And I was hoping for chaos volleyball, But THAT never happened...

>help the children's anyway
Here drink this
>he toss a recipient full of water
Now let me tell you about the battle of Fio'tau'n and how the ethereal arrived on T'au

>>53988303
nothing wrong with an imperial knight hweve had a world eater and a greater daemon its just this is the vasction thread so ppl dont really want to have fight today

Would anyone like to play strip poker with me?