>Elven men are so feminine and can be hardly told apart from

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>>53969480
Nothin personnel, round-ears

>>53969480
Elves Fuck Yeah Thread?

>>53969480
The only thing worse than an "elves are gay" thread is a "nuh-uh, elves are not gay!" thread.

>>53969480
How many elf threads must we have every single fucking day? I haven't had a website have such a repressed denial-filled hateboner to something since the great furry scare of -04.

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>>53969480
Not posting superior version.
One job OP, one job.

>>53970084
>elves think this is fatal
But a flesh wound.

>>53970084
That last arrow to the foot always cracks me up

>>53969970
Honestly... It's a long-running joke on here. Half of us are Dorfs, half of us are Elves, we pick up sides and have a feud that lasts as long as any feud between these two races traditionally do.

>>53970250
I self-identify as a Thri-kreen subspecies.

I like elves. Dorfs are too chewy.

I, for one, welcome our elf overlords.

*Furiously invents plate armour and greek fire*

>>53969521
I know the artist made a version of that picture with the bowstring fixed. Post that one!

>fire burning pitch from a catapult
Burn in hell you pointy eared freaks.

>>53969480
>my grace, the general got killed
>GREAT
>go call our allies in
>a week of dragon air raids
>entirety of the elven forest is on fire
>thanks bahamut!
Dragons fuck yeah

>>53969521
Is that a boy elf or a girl elf?

>>53970084

>SingleElvenArcherwithGreaterManyshot.gif

What's embarrassing is that the Elf walks out a few seconds later, a horrified look on his face, because this is his first time meeting humans and he thought you were going to dodge that. That was supposed to be a warning volley!

>>53971710

...really? Your great plan for beating the elves is to call in dragons against the very guys who TAUGHT US HOW TO TALK TO DRAGONS?

Your Grace, I beg you reconsider.

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You know what time it is boys?

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It's elf posting time.

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Why are elf-lovers so degenerate?

>tfw no qt femboi elf to fuck after a long battle

>>53971722
It doesn't matter.

What would a race of half-elves half-dwarves be like?

>>53973257
Roughly 171cm, with shorter ears. Some facial hair, but not too much, and not on females like the dwarves. Not as slender as the elves either.

>>53973251
You're right.

>>53973257
Elves and Dwarves can only mix via proxy with half human descendants.
So they'd be more human than either of those races.

>>53973257
Are we talking elves that are taller than humans or elves shorter than humans?

>>53969521
"Nothin personal, round-ears. I mean, after all, I don't consider your kind as people."

>>53969480
>10.000
Eurocuck spotted
Use commas to separate thousands, like an actual man who has pride in himself

>>53973257
Humans

>>53973257
Dwelfs

Basically humans

>>53970084
Where is this from?

>>53973742
American Gods. The Starz adaptation of the Neil Gaiman novel. Season 1 just finished up, so now's a good time to binge it.

>>53969521
>elfeports behind you.

>>53974301
For the last time we are not stopping at Elfport, I don't care that you couldn't find the brothel when we where there.

>>53971710
This always feels like the equivalent of 'psssh, nothing personnel kid.'

>I'm going to just blow them up from a distance, they can't possibly resist that!
>I'm going to invent superior technology to fuck them up, no way they'll manage to counter that!

Yeah, and the US did so well in Vietnam.

>>53969480
>thud!

They're utterly petty too, I see.

>>53973257
Halflings

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>>53974941
>elves and dragons fight a war
>turns into Vietnam

I mean, sure we'll lose the war, but at least those pointy-eared pricks will need to deal with the aftermath: magic-based agent orange, PTSD, draconic rock-music, and a generation of half-breeds infesting their orphanages and villages.

>>53974941
well the American strategy of going for the highest K/D ration wouldn't work in vietnam for obvious reasons but against elves, you genuinely can win a battle of attrition.

>>53969480
>Elven men are so feminine and can be hardly told apart from their women.

Elven "men" are a meme. I've been fucking elves for years and I've never found one who could fuck back.

>>53972702
So, like that elf from Hawk the Slayer?

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>>53969480
>Western men are so feminine and can be hardly told apart from their women. Yes, they live long, but are fucking retarded and can't learn shit in all those decades. All it takes is 10.000 solid swords and solid men behind them and western country will be

bang!

Reminder that we are the elves.

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Anyone have a link to that essay detailing why LotR male elves need cock rings? The female elves have tentacles.

Here is are some laughing elves as payment.

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>inb4 tumblr / tumblr nose

>>53975894
... Shit, man...

>>53975894
Oh neat. Good analogy.

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>>53974301
kek

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>>53969480
>All these dwarf women are so masculine they can be hardly told apart from their men. Yes, they look strong, but are fucking tiny and can't hit above your waist. All it takes is 10,000 solid swords and solid men behind them and dwarven kingdom will be

thud!

>Narcolepsy is a laughable fucking illness. Yes it's pervasive but it's fucking sleep and can't keep its grip on you forever. All it takes is a 10,000 year eugenics program and narcolepsy will be

thud!

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>>53975894
pretty good t.b.h.f.a.m.
I miss my dog.

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>>53971622
>I know the artist made a version of that picture with the bowstring fixed. Post that one!
I'll be straight with you, I have no fragging idea who the artist is or where to search for such an improved image

Image-search does get me some nice-looking sketch art though, so thanks for that. Here's an image depicting an elven couple.

>>53974941
>Utterly wiped out all resistance until political will to continue doing so fails.

>Go home, suffering nothing from it.

>Meanwhile north Vietnam lost whole generations and was wrecked.

Man, I hope no country I live in ever 'wins' a war with the US like that.

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>>53971722
Girl, as it was a fulfilled drawthread request. For me!

Also she's a drow elf. And was actually raised by humans. Properly speaking if she was going to get involved in any kind of surface elf/human conflict it would probably be to prevent it.

>>53969480
I mean, that's not wrong. Elves don't learn shit in all those decades. In the majority of systems, a starting elf character will have nearly the exact same capabilities as a starting human character despite having several decades on them. What were you doing with all that time, elves? You don't even have improved art skill levels or whatever to indicate that you were pursuing hobbies instead of training for adventure.

>>53973257
Elves and Dwarves can not mix.

Dwarves and Orcs on the other hand can.
Imagine orcs raiding a dwarven fort only to end up shagging bearded women.
I want to see that look of disappointment on their faces.

>>53976377
>Go home, suffering nothing from it.
>suffering nothing
Wow, classic "If I can't see it, it doesn't exist" logical fallacy here
This guy is definitely younger than 25, goes to show how much the humilation of defeat was revised and buried

>>53974259
Is it actually any good? Liked the book, but I'm always wary of tv adaptations.

>>53973138
>tfw you get born as an elf just for the element of surprise

>>53975763
>shooting guns
it'd probably just be a bunch of bombs or a drone strike.

>>53975093
>draconic rock music
Lord have mercy

>>53973257
Gnomes

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>>53969480
The only time Elven men are indistinguishable from Elven women is if it's someone's magical realm. Or if it's some tumblrina's yaoi fanart.

This is what they should look like when they not being smutified.

>>53979492
It's fantastic, extraordinarily faithful to the book, and I can't wait for season two.

>>53972963
Why do people keep drawing them with horizontal pig ears? Why?

>>53980100
Japan.

>>53980114
Why do they have to ruin everything good?

>>53970084
I see they have 3 blind archers up there. Time to get naked.

Why not a picture of Hiroshima? Or Tunguska? Or Krakatau?

That's how I imagine how elves react to invasions.

>oh no, the barbarians are invading... what should we do...
>do we cast the armaggedon spell, the cataclysm spell, or the apocalypse spell?

>>53980375
>I cast the carmageddon spell.

>>53975763
what are western rural folk in this analogy?
Drow?

>>53979287
I like what the elderscrolls does in that elves *can* live 1000 years if they live a pampered and elite life, but your average elf doesn't live much longer than your average human.

>>53980423
Wood elves, I imagine.

>Stay the fuck away from my woods or I'll shoot ya!
>city elves are not even real elves, those pansies couldn't bag a fucking elk if their lives depended on it
>some of them even mate with men, those degenerates

>>53980375
Humans have mages too you know. Not to mention other nations probably frown on bringing out fantasy nukes for a conflict for what is probably a strip of land on the border.

They are going to use those spells because if such spells exist so will MAD

>>53980473
*they aren't going

>>53973257
Nobody knows. Forgotten Realms has said they can mate, but has never statted them. You could argue that they can't, or that's how you wind up with either halflings or gnomes.

But then, "Races of Destiny" advanced the theory that humans were literally a dwarf/elf/halfling fusion, born to a slutty halfling with one dwarf husband and one elf husband.

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>>53969521
Oh of course it isn't! It never is, is it Tina? You just go around acting however you like, but do you ever stop to think about ho you might hurt the people around you? Do you, Tina? Of course not, because "Oim an Elf an oi know what's best yes I do!" Well guess what Tina, I'm a person too. I'm sick of this Tina. I'm sick of how you hurt me.

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>>53980536
Hey hey hey, what's going on here?

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>>53980546
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST DIABLO, JUST FUCK OFF. No, I'm not down for Sunday you asshole. Fuck off, I'm having a conversation. You're the friend no one likes.

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>>53980568
Oh what the hell man? You're going around talking about me acting like a jerk and then you go and say that when he's just coming around to spend some damn time with you! What the hell is wrong with you? How can you ask why I can't treat you like a person when you're so inhumane?

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>>53980583
Naw, naw. I'm fine. I get it.

See you assholes on the flip side.

And thanks for everything up to now, Tina.

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>>53980595
HEY, WAIT, TINA NO! DON'T- TINA I AM TALKING TO YOU, GET BACK HERE!

GOD

FUCKING

DAMMIT

autism

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>>53969521
>>53980536
>>53980546
>>53980568
>>53980583
>>53980595
>>53980610
>https://youtu.be/RKttkEiOHWY
And so the story came to an end. The brash Barbarian, though pleading to be recognized as a person, was ignorant of his hypocrisy. He wished for recognition and affection from the one he cared for, all the while decrying others who sought the same from him. In the end he wound up like so many others in this cold, dark world. Alone.

>>53969480
What if it's elven women who are so masculine they can't be told apart from the men? What if what we consider feminine is masculine to elves?

>>53980719
What if you spent a lifetime gurgling cocks? Would your boipussy be considered feminine?

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>>53969480
I can never tell if the OP of the daily elf threads hates them or not.

>>53980740
There's nothing feminine about being crushed to death by Snu Snu.

>>53980924
It's hourly at this point

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>>53980924
>>53980940

>>53971710
>elves are smug, haughty, and disdainful of humans, and think their long lifespan means they are both superior and morally allowed to harm humans
>bring a bunch of dragons into the mix

Isn't this like having a problem with ants in your kitchen, so you release a swarm of wasps to kill the ants?

>>53981175
It depends entirely on what kind of dragons you use, or more accurately, what the dragon's alignments are.

>>53981189
does it, though? Even the metallic dragons are noted as haughty and condescending to humans, even if they don't outright murder them for no reason.

>>53981206
Yes, considering if you choose the wrong kind you and everything you love will be murderfucked into oblivion.

But if you choose the right kind of dragon the people who are pissing you off get a stern talking to. And if they piss off the dragon as badly as they have pissed you off, then a few choice individuals get burned. But that's it.

>>53970084
What is that from?

>>53980473
>human mage lives for 60-80 years
>elf mage lives for 600-800 years

Yeah, I'm betting my money on the elfs.

>>53981175

What elves are you basing this on? I can't think of many stories where elves act the way /tg/ seems to think they act.

>>53981885
Probably the androgynous genderfluid trap elves /tg/ loves to hate on that I've never seen anywhere in canon in any setting.

>>53982461
Ah! I've actually read about those in one of those D&D 3.5 splatbooks!

Straw-elves.

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>>53982545
>Straw-elves
It's settled, that's the term now.

>>53970084
Ok first none of those went very deep, so not very lethal without excessive numbers.
So like a big shield means they can't do jack shit while you walk at them and bash their faces in with your now spiked shield.

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>>53970250
Really the gnomes are the best.
We're sexier than both of you, as hardy as the dwarves, and smarter than the elves!

>>53982545
I read races of the wild and I can firmly say that D&D elves are communists. And their communism works.

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>>53969480
>Look at me, I'm a human and I hate elves!
>Elves are so effeminate aren't they! Lol, because we can't tell their men and women apart means that they can't tell their men and women apart!
>It totally doesn't mean our women look like men to the point where even elf men are more appealing!
>LOL it's not rape if it's an elf I love to rape elf ears so much but I also hate elves grrrr I hate elves so much that I want to stick my tiny human cock inside them!

>>53982597
Shortstack 4 lyfe

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>>53982796

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>>53982677
>>53982911
>look, I posted them again!
Why do we need constant elf threads?

>>53981885
>>53982461
This sort of bullshit in terms of attitude shows up in Pathfinder (Yeah, yeah, I'm fucking trash) and it makes me hate the fucking setting; like, literally, one of the adventure paths Paizo put out has elves calling you to deal with drow problems only for them to look down and mock you for not being fucking elves. This is also the setting where apparently, you can be Neutral Good while calling for the genocide of an entire race of people that is stated to be redeemable. Fucking tree niggers and their lantern bearers should be exterminated for being an affront to better elves from other settings.

Then again, this is probably just Paizo being officially awful writers for anything related to their own setting and just mixing shit from 4chan and Tumblr to make one giant shitty setting.

>>53982968
t. elf

>>53983030
Stop being so retarded, elves are not real. That picture is not me, it's from a video game.

>>53983007
Damn bro, maybe you should take a break from Pathfinder. It doesn't sound like a very healthy game for you.

>>53983531
I mean, there's some shit I like from it/that I think would be fun (Reign of Winter sounds like a fun adventure path, and Hell's Vengeance could be fun with the right group, and Numeria sounds like a good place to try and Conan stuff up), but fuck, I always tell my GMs to fucking fix shit that makes no sense. Kyonin aka the elven nation is a fucking mess of bullshit that shouldn't be touched in most cases, or, if you do touch, be ready to change shit to actually make sense alignment and lore wise. I know alignment is a very heated topic on the board, but I'm fairly certain that, unless you're a /pol/tard, you agree that genocide is not a Good action, and especially not a Neutral Good action.

Course, this isn't getting my issues with my own group that plays Pathfinder and with the mechanics itself, but generally, I can deal with that shit as long as the GM can take the advice to fix the elves. Fucking Paizo is at their worst writing elves (well, that and actually taking criticism).

>>53973318
Apparently I'm half-elf half-dwarf.

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>>53970274
Dorfs if marinaded over night in honey wine are ever good. remember to remove the out metal shell.

>>53980423
Drow are inner city urbanites.