Post your Mythological waifu. I'll start with the very best.

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>>53951351

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>>53951351
>best

psssh Get on my level, pleb

>>53951549
>>53951424
Is this a cuckholding?

>>53951424
I didn't see the spear tip right away and almost posted

>STOP STABBING YOURSELF! STOP STABBING YOURSELF!

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>>53951351

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Children these days. No respect.

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She'd force you to watch Batman and Robin over and over for the ice puns.

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>>53951351

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>>53951370
Wrong

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Jeanne was real, so Pandora for me.

>>53951351
Fuckin' approved.

>>53951351
My nigga.

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muh merica waifu

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>>53951351

>>53953752
But she was real.

>>53951351
>Athena

Great taste you've there, actually.

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>>53951351
>Athena
>Best waifu
>Best anything
gtfo

>Recluse hermit who likes his hobbies and his models more than women.
I don't know about waifus, but Pygmalion is pretty clearly /our guy/.

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>>53951351
>No queen Mebd.
Peasants, all of you.

>>53953706
>>53954701
Except you two, you've got taste.
>>53952747
Also you, because even though she ain't my type, you gotta give the Baba Yaga the respect she deserves.

>>53954701
We can at least agree that Poseidon is best husbando, right?

>>53951351
Medea best girl.

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>>53955297
>Pygmalion is pretty clearly /our guy/.

While Diogenes was quite clearly That Guy.

>>53955385
>the guy who'd rape you in someone else's temple than pussy out at the speed of sound while you get cursed
>best husbando
He's not even the best rapist in the Greek pantheon.

>>53955502
Honestly Hades is pretty up there, all things considered. Even considering the whole Persephone debacle.

At least he's not Zeus.

>>53951549
edgy

>>53955585
>implying
Persephone was clearly in on the whole thing, she just didn't want to go against her mom so she set up a plan with Hades.

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>>53953706
Yes

>>53955917
Oh definitely. It also helps that pomegranates are fucking delicious. It definitely still was a debacle though, what with the shitstorm Demeter threw.

Aphrodite is a lovely woman, it's just a shame her spurned god lovers kill her mortals in fits of jealousy.

>>53957487
Aphrodite is a slut tho

>>53958888
Only makes it more likely for her to be waifuable by a mortal.

>>53959051
>waifu
>a slut
Neo-/v/, everyone

>>53959112
A waifu don't gotta be pure anon, she's just gotta be someone you love, and someone who could love you.

That said, fuck aphrodite, bitch is not worth to the effort or the inevitable Trojan War 2: Electric Boogaloo

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>>53959112
>anno domini
>not liking sluts
She only needs to be faithful as long as we're a couple.

>>53952747
....you want your waifu to have nails for teeth?

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I'm going with Nü Wa.

Best snek.

>>53959265
All I can see is the final boss of echidna wars.

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>>53951351

>>53959345
Wait, if there's no god then it's impossible to become a god.
Chick is an odd man.

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>>53951351
best waifu is obviously the best wife, sadly taken though

>>53954412

Stop kidding yourself, women aren't real.

>>53959369
There WAS no God.
The comic is from before Tyler's ascension.

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>>53959615

>>53959625
>shin_megami_tensei_4_apocalypse.png

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The Sphinx. Pic unrelated.

>>53955362
>Mab, queen of air and darkness
>Baba yaga
These are not waifu, these are entities you fear from a respectful distance

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What can I say, she'd at least make life interesting

>>53952877
She sounds pretty cool.

>>53955385
Hades better. At least he's faithful.

Hathor made me trans

>>53959570
She does have stylin' pants.

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Best Mooner coming through.

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Hecate/Hekate, goddess of witchcraft and crossroads.

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Any girl might as well be a myth to me.

>>53959759
No, these are entities to serve loyally and without compunction, so that perhaps one day they may look upon you with favor.

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>>53960309
REMOVE

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>>53959889
I don't know if a women so fixated on her job is good wife material
>>53960350
>not a three headed abormination
please stay accurate to the source material

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>>53960436

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>>53951351

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>>53960455
:^)

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>>53960439
Why have three heads when you can have three silly hat accessories?

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>>53960468
Yukari is not mythological. Not mythological at all.

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>>53960480
it's because you haven't waifued the goddess of silly hat accessories, if you end up changing what are fundamentals of her character why even bother calling her Hekate?

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>>53960509
What a strange distinction to make. What is witchcraft without silly hats?

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>>53960500
I'm referencing the ending of Silent Sinner in Blue/Cage in Lunatic Runagate, which, if you haven't read, you really should, since it's actually the best canon 2hu side story.

Eirin isn't even the best Lunar.

>>53960532
I have and it was quite good. But why would you post the worst one in the whole of Eientei?

>>53960549
Mokou you can stop posting now.

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>>53960550

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>>53960526
thats wizards, any witch that wants be taken serious wears fitting hats, you fell victim to japanese propaganda

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Hel.

Best girl. Is comfy.

>>53960558
>Half of the face isn't rotting.
Fer fucks sake, she's the goddess of the underworld.

>>53951351
Cute and wise but BORING

Aren't there any goddesses that aren't completely boring? I want to waifu one who will be able to make jokes.

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>>53960584
while I don't recommend waifuing a diety that is so ethusiatic and in love with her job, she certainly won't let things become boring.

>>53959889
Well... That interpretation at least DID manage to have a successful relationship for quite a while... In fact I can't remember if it ever actually ended

>>53960614
But she's not good at heart :( this is the issue with waifuing an immortal. I need a demigod turned immortal or something, someone with empathy.

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He always got my loins a rumbling (::
I'd ride his big blue ox ::)

>>53959663
That was brutal.

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>>53960648
>immortal with empathy
>waifuing a demigod
>demigods turning immortal

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>>53959889
>>53960614
Th correct choice

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>>53960439
I thought those heads had bodies of their own too(?)

>>53961520
It's always foursome night with hecate. Always

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Circe

>>53954701
because you have erectile dysfunction?

>>53960157
You could chill with her all day

>>53951351
IT MAKES ME SO ANGRY THAT PARIS BLACKMAILED ATHENA INTO SEEING HER NAKED!!

>>53957487
>Aphrodite
>lovely woman

>ywn be Diomedes
>ywn be Athena's favorite
>she will never ride with you in a chariot and give you council

>>53962467
What makes you think it won't be deleted this time too?

>>53962484
Wait, someone posted it already?

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>>53951351
>Not having a grandmotherfu

>>53962488
If it's porn, kinda porn, or even sortof might resemble porn, yeah, it has probably already been posted

>>53952877
You know she is a giantess right.

>>53962606
Where do you think we are?

>>53962652
Just wanted to make sure anon knew what he is getting into.
Like requiring to have nice feet to get to be her husband

>>53962544
I meant in this thread specifically, but okay.

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>>53961558
Man, having a waifu with three bodies, each with their own distinct personality, must be a really tiring life.

>>53955585
>implying
Zeus preferred to seduce than rape. He's a god, he'll get what he wants, but it's not AS bad. And to his credit, once he had a son who could help him against the giants, he did keep it in his pants.

Poseidon is the one who'll run a train on a girl. Always the bitchy middle child.

>>53951424
Best choice.

>>53951549
Worst choice. 90% of the depictions has her literally standing on her husband.

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>eternal night stretches herself out over you while you sleep forever
nut is comfy

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>>53961520

>>53960461
>So smooth! So silky!

>>53964981
>Don't drop that pump-a-rum.
>Don't drop that pickle pee.

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>>53951351

Galatea is best waifu.
> All women in your town are assholes and are going to force marriage on you because your a nerd who just sculpts miniatures, idols, statues all day, every day.
> so naturally, you do what you know you must do. You sculpt your own waifu, who ends up being more pretty and loving than Aphrodite herself.

Galatea is quite literally a DIY waifu made by one of our ancestral neckbeards. Galetea is best waifu.

>>53965217
Aphrodite is a bro for bringing her to life. Always liked that goddess

>>53965325
Too bad she's also a cheating whore.

>>53965325
>>53965387
Aphrodite would probably be a radical friend, but a terrible significant other.

>>53965439
>Radical Friend
With Benefits most likely.

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>>53959663

>>53965514
Well naturally. She IS a cheating whore.

How many men SURVIVE banging mythological figures?
I mean normal mortal men, not mythological figures who bang other mythological figures.

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>>53960500
Yukari is a Lovecraftian Outer God.

>>53965439
Does she believe in true love, or polygamy

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>>53964417
>>53951549
>>53951424
>Implying the eternal feminine isn't Shakti all the way down.
>Implying Shakti isn't everyone's Waifu no matter what form she takes.

Any answer that is not Hestia is wrong

>>53965810
She's Aphrodite. She believes in all love, free love, every kind of love, because she's the goddess of love.

>>53965810
Polygamy
If you want true love go talk to hera

>>53965874
Isn't everything potentially Shakti all the way down? She's literally creation and potential manifested.

>>53965895
No joke I've been running through scenarios in my mind for the past week in which Hestia becomes my godly love and then I'm converted into a God. My idea at this point is both Hestia and Pan leave this world and pass their mantle to two mortals (me and my lady). I thought of it become Hestia represents order, housing, hearth, while Pan is more wild. Two opposite forces, order and chaos, come together. It was perfect in my mind and I'm glad to be able to share it. Anyways yeah Hestia is a qt.

>>53965926
Hera is a cuck though.

>>53965962
She is probably just as strong as Zeus, though. The only reason she didn't murder him out of righteous jealousy is because she believes in order and hierarchy.
Her mindset is basically "if your husband fucks someone, fuck over whoever that is and force your husband to come back". A perfect yandere, basically.

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>>53951351
Considering all the other shit Zeus did, I wonder why he never dicked his Onee-chan?

I mean besides the fact that she was more badass than basically everyone else in Olympus.

>>53965962
Hera was as big a slut as her husband.

>>53966057
[citation needed]

>>53965932
Yes, Everything is Shakti. All the goddesses are lesser forms of Shakti, and all the gods are lesser forms of Shiva, who is just a male form of Shakti. And all mortals are just lesser forms of the gods.

It's literally Shakti all the way down. The macrocosm lies within in the microcosm. In this sense, it has a lot in common with western Gnosticism. As above, so below.

Either way I think a lot of nerds would do well to learn Tantric Shaktism, you are already your own perfect waifu.

>>53966057
She never even fucked her husband

>>53966074
I don't think nerds would like the idea of sharing their waifu with literally all of creation.

>>53966146
Ares and Hebe beg to differ.

Kim yu-sin is my waifs (male)

>>53966161
But anon, you are also Shakti, you're just sharing your infinite goddess love with yourself.

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>>53966161
>>53966074
>you are already your own perfect waifu
I prefer this guy's interpretation, to be honest, which basically implies that everyone has a personal god-waifu they and only they share a connection with.

>>53959570
>I come, Lucius, moved by your entreaties: I, mother of the universe, mistress of all the elements, first-born of the ages, highest of the gods, queen of the shades, first of those who dwell in heaven, representing in one shape all gods and goddesses. My will controls the shining heights of heaven, the health-giving sea-winds, and the mournful silences of hell; the entire world worships my single godhead in a thousand gods; the native Athenians the Cecropian Minerva; the island-dwelling Cypriots Paphian Venus; the archer Cretans Dictynnan Diana; the triple-tongued Sicilians Stygian Proserpine; the ancient Eleusinians Actaean Ceres; some call me Juno, some Bellona, those on whom the rising and those on whom the setting sun shines, and the Egyptians who excel in ancient learning, honour me with the worship which is truly mine and call me by my true name: Queen Isis

>>53966203
This is true, but people also have a desire to connect to others. And organized religions are a good excuse to go hang out with people and sing songs once a week.

That's not to say that many religions aren't horrible institutions perpetuating horrible values ofc.

>>53962879
Her bodies don't have distinct personalities. They just exist to represent three directions of a three-way crossroad.

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>>53951351
>everyone ITT who didn't post Aphrodite

>>53966516
>everyone ITT who didn't post the biggest slut of the pantheon
Fixed it for you.

>>53966516
Waifuing a slut? What a twat.

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>>53966516

>>53966768
>the one God that would lay with you and not kill you out of that entire pantheon
>would stay faithful until you die, which for a diety is nothing
>bad
Antiphrodite memers get out, she's great.
Now if he had said Ishtar like a previous fool in the thread then yeah it would have been bad.

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>not posting the better, more pure, always faithful goddess of love and magic

Freyja is just as pretty as Aphrodite and a better waifu if you're into the pure thing

>>53967643
Nah, I like 'em more filthy.

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>>53967643
The problem isn't purity, the problem is faithfulness.

The thing is, I expect mutuality from relationship. Mutual trust, mutual devotion and mutually relying on each other. That's the essence of any healthy relationship.

So, yeah, I would be perfectly fine with a clingy yandere like Hera or some such, as long as there was mutuality and reciprocity.

>>53967587
>would stay faithful
Anon please
>the one God that would lay with you and not kill you out of that entire pantheon
Athena,hades, hephestus
>bad
She started the trojan war

>>53967643
>more pure
I don't think having foursome with three midget brothers for a ring makes her any better than Aphro

>>53967722
Eris started the Trojan War. Athena and Hera were just as eager for Paris' approval as Aphrodite so don't try to bullshit.

>>53967587
Eos really likes humans and young men in particular. Take a hint.

>>53955385
Dyonisus or nothin

>>53966228
>the donkeyfucking book

>>53953780
You have a death wish anon?

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>>53951351
She gives you some time to yourself.

Mother-in-law is a bit of a drama queen though

>>53967722
The short life of a mortal is not enough for her to get bored.
Unlike say an immortal god like Hephaestus and Ares.

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This whole talk of rape, sluttery and general debauchery and lack of morals among Greek gods got me thinking: what if Diogenes ascended as an Olympus deity?
How do you think he would stack up against Greek gods?

>>53967922
Refusing her is more dangerous since she just cries to daddy and he punishes you severely.

I want a goddess to be bored and whisper in my ear as I sleep, just to say hi and see what I'll do. A friendship will form and her visits will be frequent until we are close. She'll boost my life using her divine powers but I won't even need it: being with her is enough. I need some material to fuel this fantasy, I'm on the lookout for some. Hopefully coming soon and if I find something I'll make sure to post in a thread like this.

>>53968125
>I need some material to fuel this fantasy
See >>53966203.

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Don't waifu deities, respect yourself.

>>53967737
At least she did it with a purpose rather than lust.

>>53968028
He would sling shit at them all, it wouldn't be pretty.

>>53967984
Also will stay faithful and love you if you stay faithful

Persephony got the best husband out of the big three

>>53968847
persephone's not bad, but if this was a mythological husbando thread Hades would get all my votes. best Olympian, hands down. Hephestus is cool too, but literally a cuck.

>>53968847
Hades was the biggest bro, true, but considering what he's stacked up against there's a lot of room for error there.

He literally kidnapped Persephone from her home and he's still one of if not THE nicest Olympian god.

>>53969061
Hephestus busted a nut on Athena's leg

>>53955875
Thank you, idiot, for missing the joke

>>53964417
>Worst choice. 90% of the depictions has her literally standing on her husband.

>Not liking femdom

>>53966203
You mean the gaythiest in you image?

Nah. He ain't no fun.

>>53969240
what. How

>>53969337

femdom is like the ultimate beta male fantasy

>>53969676
With his dick, anon.

>>53969701
Insecure beta male trying to posture as an alpha detected.

>>53962879
It kept Bink loyal in the Magic of Xanth.

>>53969767
He's lame, how can he cum?

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>>53954701

>>53966074
But I thought it was Vishnu who is everyone and everything?

>>53971897
Depends on which version of Hinduism you subscribe to. Tantric Shaktism says everyone is Shakti, also known as Devi (literally just means Goddess)

>>53951351
Athena was the original Mary Sue, shoved in everyone's face by Athens' cultural supremacy.

>>53967922
Ishtar was a pure waifu who was slandered by Gilgamesh.

After all, her infamous threat to smash the gates of the underworld and unleash the dead to devour the living came from an incident where her lover Tammuz had died and she went to retrieve him from the underworld.

How many waifus would start the zombie apocalypse to bring you back to life?

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>>53973094
Clearly you're not playing the right games.

>>53969234
>He literally kidnapped Persephone from her home
Hades gets a real bad rap about that, but honestly depending on the telling, "kidnapping" is a bit harsh. In one version he asks her father for her hand in marriage and Zeus tells him to just snatch her out of a field because Demeter will throw a shitfit anyway. In another he only kidnapped her because Athena told Eros to shoot Hades with his most powerful arrow so Hades was all jacked and decided to sweep his bride off her feet, and even then Demeter was more pissed that her daughter wasn't properly wooed, the kidnapping was secondary at best.

>>53973094
>forgetting about the winged guy she defeathered or the gardener she turned into a mole
Ishtar a shit.

>>53975029
>Athena told Eros
fuck, Aphrodite told Eros, getting my goddesses confused. This is how I die.

>>53973094
Yeah, but why was Tammuz in the underworld in the first place? Oh yeah, because she killed him for the lulz, like all of her countless other lovers that she never brought back to life.

I'd rather not bet my life on those odds.

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>>53967713
>Herd.png
nah son

>>53954701
You have to go back.

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>>53957428
ayy, fellow Axis member

>>53960575
>Fer fucks sake, she's the goddess of the underworld.

At least you can stay with her even after you died.

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God I wish I were Orion

>>53975909
You'd get cock blocked by apollo

>>53968776
>she had good high-minded reasons for getting airtighted!
I will never understand this line of thinking.

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>>53951351
Old school

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>>53960500
Well, she's derived from the Urban Legend of the Sukima Onna. Like a babby myth.

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>>53975979
Orion wasn't making the appropriate motions to be cockblocked, and Artemis didn't have a thing with Apollo (or anybody, even as a mother/fertility goddess she was identified as a virgin).

>>53976188
NNGH. YUCC.

>>53967738
Zeus started it.

That whole shit with the apple? His idea. It's literally written in the Trojan Cycle "Zeus schemes with Eris to bring about the Trojan War."

>>53975909
Artemis is the meanest bitch of the pantheon, she's a child with tantrums dialed to twenty and given unlimited power.

See: Actaeon. Great hunter, devotee. Accidentally comes across her bathing, HER OWN FAULT, so she sets his own hounds on him, turns him into a stag, and he's devoured.

At least Athena was nice enough to Tiresias to give him prophetic sight when she blinded him for seeing her in the bath.

>>53976486
Hera was a pretty constant bitch too, though I guess she has that whole rampant adultery thing to justify some of it. she never did shit to Zeus though, just fucked with all his bastards and lovers.

>>53976208
The story ends with apollo sending scorpio to kill orion because he didn't like how close orion was getting with his sister

>>53976551
She can't do anything to Zeus though, he was the king of the gods and far, far more powerful than she was. There's the whole spiel where he says all the gods could try and drag him out of Olympus, and it'd do absolutely nothing. So she really just has to take it out on his lovers and bastards, because she doesn't have a choice in the matter.

About all Zeus can't defy is fate (except for when Typhoeus shows up who will be "king of men and gods" and Zeus just beats the shit out of him and dumps a mountain on his head), and even then he just goes around it instead (e.g. Thetis).

>>53976551
She couldn't do anything to Zeus since she was the goddess of marriage, and so getting back on him for being a goosecock would be in violation of her own domain.

She was still a cunt though. I'm sure if she wasn't she'd have found it in her heart to care more for Z's bastards when they obviously wanted to make good with her like Heracles' mom.

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My wife, Tiamat.

She and I will spawn a thousand monsters!

>>53976619
>he didn't read the Iliad

Remember why Zeus owed Thetis a favor? The Gods had him chained up and helpless until she saved him.

>>53976486
Most of the gods did some really awful shit, way worse than that. Athena was generally mild (especially considering her association with war). I mean, Eris was REALLY a petulant child- In anger at being excluded from a mortal wedding, she started a war that killed multitudes of mortals and demigod children of the gods.

Every act of cruelty or rashness committed by Artemis is in defence of the concept of purity, which I dig and is a lot better imo than throwing a tantrum because your feelings got hurt, and certainly makes her better wife material.

>>53976591
You're mixing up versions of the story. Depending on which you're going with, Demeter or Artemis herself killed him with a scorpion or Apollo tricks Artemis into killing him. Artemis killing him was the joke.

>>53976619
there was another telling of the rape of persephone where Hades basically opened tartarus, got all the forces of the underworld geared for war and marched on Olympus to tell Zeuse "I deserve a wife and happiness too, don't I?!" and Zeus immediately agreed so Hades told everyone to pack up and go home. that didn't seem an empty threat. I thought the brothers drew lots after the fall of the Titans just so they didn't end up squabbling over power themselves, so Poseidon likely could have posed threat to Zeus as well. And again with Persephone, Demeter didn't directly attack Zeus, but even he couldn't force her to let up on the starving mortals. It's odd to me that Hera could be so much less capable than basically all her siblings (did Hestia ever do anything impressive?)

>>53976705
By trickery, not main force, which was my point.

>>53976753
Hades generally liked the Underworld, depending on your version of myth, because it also meant he had all the wealth of the earth at his command.

But what, you think just because he rules the Underworld he doesn't deserve a waifu? Maybe Zeus agreed because he understood the importance of such matters and their justice.

>>53976766
They bound him in chains while he was asleep. That's barely trickery.

>>53976922
Well, they're hardly going to try when he's awake, anon. Unless Hera tried to pass it off as some kinky BDSM, but I'm pretty sure Zeus wasn't a sub, more like the original alpha chad.

>>53976830
Hades was never really depicted as disliking the underworld, but I think he's usually the eldest son, and by custom Zeus's throne should've been his by birthright. If the wealth of the underworld isn't good enough, Hades is almost always depicted as a letter of the law guy, he does his duty and doesn't waiver or tarry from it (the one other time he was kind of a dick, with Orphius, makes a lot more sense from this perspective too. he tried to cut a deal but couldn't just hand his wife over because that's against the rules), so even if he hated the underworld he wasn't going to actually abandon it. I got the impression that he wasn't looking to conquer Olympus, but burn it down in retribution for the insult he considered his lack of a happy family. Zeus could have agreed for better reasons, that doesn't mean he wasn't also facing a legitimate threat.

>>53976975
Indeed, that is quite true. But I was just saying that his boasting is overrated. If the other Gods were sufficiently displeased, he'd be in Tartarus.

>>53976975
>more like the original alpha chad.
I'm pretty sure Zeus would be into anything if you could convince him it equated to fucking. He was the first golden shower. not he gave a chick the first golden shower, he was the shower. his libido is beyond mortal minds.

>>53976985
Hades was originally the eldest son, but there's some fuckery with Kronos eating the siblings and the order he vomited them back up in that leaves Zeus as the oldest and also the youngest, but only because he wasn't eaten.

>>53976753
>>53976830
Can't Hestia stop any from being born, being the Goddess of childbrith? I may be wrong.

>>53977005
Not by force though, is my point. They chain him when he's asleep, not when he's awake and could fight back, and make sure they remove his tendons and sinews so when he is awake he won't be able to fight back. It says to me, at least, that it's because he IS that powerful compared to them, or they'd simply overthrow him directly like they overthrew their father.

>>53951351
Is there a goddess of cow tits? Cause that's mine.

>>53977095
Hera's the goddess of childbirth, not Hestia. and apparently no, see all of Zeus's bastards.

>>53977178
gotchu senpai
>>53976188

>>53977234
Isn't Artemis the goddess of childbirth?

>>53977095
>>53977234
Hera did try to stop Apollo and Artemis being born, by making sure no land would allow it. Which is why Leto had to wander around until she came to Delos, which agreed.

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Muses are underrated waifus.

>>53977271
>virgin
>goddess of childbirth

>>53977095
>>53977234
Hera tried a few times though, for example in some versions of the birth of Appolo and Artemis.

>>53977303
you make a strong argument.

>>53960554
>Claims only wizards wear hats
>Yet on the disc, a hard is probably a witches most important boffo

>>53962879
Harry Dresden is a man among men

>>53977307
Don't need to fuck to be a midwife. She delivered her twin brother, Apollo, seconds after her own birth, as their mother began having complications. She is also sometimes associated with Clotho, the Fate associated with birth.

>>53977362
>reading comprehension
He said any witch that wants to be taken seriously wears FITTING hats, as in the black and pointy kind, as opposed to wizards who wear ostentatious bullshit.

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>>53951351
>now 230 posts in
>best waifu has yet to be posted

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>>53977661
>sweaty headless bitch
>more fickle than aphrodite
>best anything
I'd rather date a Fury.

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>>53977763
>not wanting an adorable little Nike to crown you victor and sit in the palm of your hand
It's ok if your gay, anon, I don't care

>>53978004
>not wanting some hot fury action
Fair warning, I think this guy murdered his mother.

What a disappointing thread

>>53966044
I wish there were more talk of Hestia

>>53978754
Well not much was known about her from what I recall. There was the idea that she gave up her council chair to Dionysus to prevent infighting, but that's just speculation since they found two different pantheons, one with Hestia one with Dionysous. She has some symbolism also, being the first child ingested by Cronos, and the last child to be puked up. The "first and last". Not much else to say about her. She's not super pretty according to the statues, and tends to the hearth of Olympous.

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Ya'll motherfuckers need Slaanesh

MY LOINS MOISTEN FOR DIOMEDES!! This duder was tall and of inconsequential birth, but he still was the most badass man out there. Athena had his back, and he had based armor that would shoot fireballs kapoosh and just light foes aflame. He kicked Amazon ass, Roman ass, even immortal ass!!! He wounded Aenes in battle and Aphrodite came down to grab him and said "BACK OFF I WILL TEND TO THIS MAN" AND DIOMEDES said "haha fuck you" and wham bam stabbed her, so Apollo came over and said what are you doing bro and DIOMEDES stabbed him too!! Also He sent Ares home to Olympus crying with an Athena guided spear throw. I like him.

>>53979259
>so Apollo came over and said what are you doing bro and DIOMEDES stabbed him too!
No he didn't. He tried, Apollo did the equivalent of holding his hand on a toddler's head while Diomedes impotently swung his little fists at him.

>>53980539
please leave my husband alone he is not deserving of your vicious slander

>>53977255
Not bad, but I didn't realize how important having a face was to me until now. Anything with cow tits and a face?

>>53965217
Patrician tastes, friend.

>>53979234
Waifu is only for women, not the 12 different genders Slaneesh is.

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>>53955385
>Heretical paganism
>Not glorious saints
>Not the least photogenic saint
Shit taste in husbandos.

>>53977178
Hathor

>>53976685
Is the Mojo Jojo hat she's wearing a positive or negative in your opinion?

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>>53967984
>perma-virgin
>gives time to yourself
Using a goddess as a beard is a whole new level of gay.

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>>53981937

>When Athena saw Diomedes resting near his horses, she mocked him, reminding him of Tydeus who frequently disobeyed her advice. Diomedes replied "Goddess, I know you truly and will not hide anything from you. I am following your instructions and retreating for I know that Ares is fighting among the Trojans". Athena answered "Diomedes most dear to my heart, do not fear this immortal or any other god for I will protect you." Throwing Sthenelus out of the chariot and mounting it herself, the goddess (who invented the chariot and taught humans to drive it) drove straight at Ares. She also put on the helmet of Hades, making her invisible to even gods. Ares saw only Diomedes in the chariot and threw his spear which was caught by Athena. Diomedes then threw his spear (which was guided by Athena) at Ares, wounding his stomach. The god screamed in a voice of ten thousand men and fled away. This was how Diomedes became the only human to wound two Olympians in a single day.

>>53979097
Well, assuming the giving-up-the-seat-bit was true, Hestia's the best Goddess by far. It takes a lot of balls to give up power to someone you don't like for the greater good.

And that's why she's my Mythfu.

>>53982505
>goddess of domesticity
>chillest olympian by a mile
definitely the safe bet for a waifu among greek mythology.

>>53965217

You would be surprised how common in different mythologies it is for men to sculpt or manufacture their own waifus

>>53970271
>Why_does_she_need_glasses_if_she_s_deaf.jpg

>>53976747
Being a bitch was Eris' job though.

>>53981791
>worshiping foreign gods
Might as well convert to Islam.

>>53983378
Islam probably has some nice waifus too, though I'm not too knowledgeable on that and I'm not going to asking the nearest imam about muslim waifus.

>>53983442
Even Allah has waifus

>>53983442
There's the whole 72 virgins thing, so I think it's safe to say they're into waifus.

>>53982100
>gods can be wounded by mortal weapons
I wonder why Greek gods are so eager to do the dirty with mortals, they're not that strong or bright and their looks fade rather fast.
Also death is a thing for them.

>>53960584
Stultitia/Folly is pretty much Eris except instead of stirring up shit she just wants to make people happy.

Read The Praise of Folly sometime, it's pretty entertaining stuff.

>>53983505
Isn't it actually 72 virgin vineyards or something along those lines?

>>53983520
I am finding literally zero through Google on this goddess? What religion? Have a wiki link?

>>53983536
That might be one version but you can bet that's not what they're telling the suicide bombers.

>>53983536
Imagine how thirsty you must be to kill yourself for that

>>53983581
That would be hilarious to witness though.

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Andraste, Goddess of Victory.

>>53983580
She's not an actual Goddess, more like a parody of one. The Praise of Folly is a story from the early 1500s that on the surface is a book about Folly praising herself for being the best Goddess, but it's actually a satire about why everything sucks and everyone is stupid, especially the church.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Praise_of_Folly

>>53983597
>live in a desert
You might be on to something.

Who /madamewhitesnake/ here?

>>53983506
Aphrodite could only be wounded because she is "a very weak goddess" and Athena was helping Diomedes. Same reason for why Ares could be hurt, Athena explicitly guided the weapon and made it hurt him.

Even then it can't actually kill any god, Ares says if he was hit even by Zeus's thunderbolt he'd just "lie without strength among the dead, unmoving" for a while. They're deathless for a reason.

>>53983712
Bai?
Hell no, she eats people.

>>53959112
>Not wanting a slut as a waifu
Sounds like something a virgin would say.

>>53983776
Athena didn't help him stab Aphrodite, only Diomedes involved with that.
>>53983506
Athena specifically told him to go after Aphrodite since she was weak, when Apollo showed up he could have crushed Diomedes in an instant.

>>53960614

Where is this from?

>>53983846
Sinbad.

>>53983776
Hardly a wound. Skin was cut and all that came out was ichor so she ran off and cried to Zeus that the big mean mortal was being a bad person. And Zeus tells her it was her own fault for interfering.

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Ishtar a cute.

>>53983817
What kind of reverse logic is that? Only permavirgins would mistake a slut for a waifu, if only because she's slutty enough to get with them in the first place.

>>53983882
It means she isn't as stuffy or bitchy and more open minded.
She only needs to be faithful as long as we're an item.

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>>53951351
>a saint
>personally knew jesus
>tamed/killed the terrasque

My waifu

>>53983442
There's Mohammad's daughter Aisha, but I haven't read the full trilogy yet so I don't know how waifu she is.

Why not ask an Imam though? Generally the heads of churches, especially minority churches, are pretty chill if you're just asking questions and not being a total tool.

>>53983962
>Mohammad's daughter Aisha
>Aisha
>Mohammeds daughter
You mean his childbride?

>>53983909
>She only needs to be faithful
But then she isn't a slut? Or was "slut" extended to any female that doesn't consider sex to be the Devil's invention?

>>53983982
Wasn't his daughter named Aisha too? I could have sworn that was a thing - he had no male children, but he did have a little girl.

>>53962261
But there is always a frosty reception

>>53983985
If she has casual sex and likes it she's a slut.
However a relationship requires commitment to another person, as such you have to bot cheat on said person.
Thus you can be a slut and then enter into a relationship. If she cheats then she's a cheating slut and gets dumped.

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>>53984099
>bot
*not
Stupid autocorrect.

>>53967540
>dat pose
CIA?

>>53967722
>>the one God that would lay with you and not kill you out of that entire pantheon
>Athena
Athena would let you live, unless you told anyone that you fucked her in which case you'd be fucked in more ways than one.

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>>53983882
Sluts are open-minded, has experience to know what feels good and what doesn't, and probably won't run away if you have any weird kinks (unless it's some /d/ shit).

Consequently, that means you better be fucking great at sex too or she won't be satisfied. One way to do that is to be a massive slut yourself (made easy if you're open-minded, somewhat attractive and know how to use Tinder). Easy mode is to ask her what she likes and do your best to match those expectations.

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any kind of succubus, really...

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>>53984410

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>>53984423

Personally, I think Eris is a dumb waifu and prefer Grayface.

>>53984410
You know what succubi actually were in old tales, right?

>>53960575
In some interpretations, she is black, not dead.
Not a common interpretation, but it does exist.

>>53960558
The split is meant to be across her waist with her lower half being the dead half, it's a misinterpretation that the split was down the middle.
Though down the middle does work better art wise.

>>53977046
>. his libido is beyond mortal minds.
This should be a campaign.
>you [player] are a beautiful greek woman, zeus want to fuck you, avoid getting laid, last player thats still pure wins, or the person who has the least fucked up offspring (taking the bull dick like europa is something you want to avoid)

>>53983536
its 72 filled dates (as in the fruit). However enough sources claim its virgins, I dont know the quran but it probably is another case of multiple meanings and interpretations. Like maiden can be a young woman or a virgin. Also the quran is just part of the whole islamcore. You have a bunch of very influencial writings by descendants of mohammed and scholars

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I want the both of them to use their soft cheeks to do stuff.

>>53984917
>72 pieces of fruit
That's even worse.

>>53984918
Before or after they eat your entrails?

>>53985045
Its the best prank ever
>go to heaven
>this beautiful woman walks up to you, holding a silver dish heaped with dates
>even though minutes before your body was ripped apart by an explosion, already feel your member harden
>see no one other than mohammed walk up to you with a smile
>greet him full of joy
>he just smiles back, amused about something you seem to miss
>look back at the woman, give her your best smile
>she starts feeding you, youre quite confused but eat
>ask where the 71 other women are
>mohammed starts snickering
>you just keep being fed
>once shes done she walks off with swaying hips
>where are you going, you exclaim
>mohammed cannot hold back his laughter and with tears in his eyes laughs till he drops
>he tells you it was 72 dates, not virgins, between laughs

>>53984804
If the campaign is going to be full-hog magical realm, may as well warn the players and let them make their futas and lolis.

Basically it's just onyxdimes shit.

>>53984918
If one starts speaking korean fucking /run/.

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>>53985178
>Be ISIS member
>Koran says I'll get 72 virgins
>At least I'm pretty sure. That's what Amin says, and he's got a high school education!
>Family says I'm retarded for falling for this, but I know the truth
>Put on bomb vest
>Start driving down the road towards military base
>Premature detonation
>Oh well, Jihad is a state of mind right?
>Go to heaven
>Muhammad (bbhn) is there
>Go to Muhammad
>Tell him I died on Jihad
>Muhammad is just looking at me
>Get nervous, about to lose my tabbouleh.
>Ask where the virgins are
>"You are the only virgin here." Says Muhammad
>Muhammad bitchslaps me
>I go to hell
>mfw I see all my Islamic State buddies in hell

>>53985705
>go to hell
>see american soldier cuddling with demon
>turns out hell is a very cold place
>tfw I get no virgins, instead a used and loose demon slut
>just like the american

>>53985902
>she takes pity upon me
>being completely inexperienced immediately cum
>she laughs and tosses me aside, going back to her american soldier chad

>>53965217
That ass is unreal

>>53985941
>Thank Allah, I'm not a virgin anymore!
>Spend the rest of eternity being cucked by American Chad

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>>53986069

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>>53951351
Asena, the Turkish Wolf-Woman.

>>53985705
>Implying Muhammad is in Heaven in the first place.
You seriously think the almighty has a place for two-bit rapists and thieves at his throne?

>>53967540

Vore-fu.

>>53986439
>aphrodite, goddess of love and lust, also panders to vaginal-vore
can someone stop this madwoman

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>>53986274

>>53962953
>raped a girl as a beam of light
>raped a girl as a swan
Do you even know who you're talking about right now?

>>53986896
Just because /pol/ may agree, doesn't make it any less true.

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>>53951351