"Fuck you" curses

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>>53917199
As always, Oglaf has the answer.

>>53917238
DOesnt he later become King Blowjob and rule a kingdom?

Every time you eat, your vision is shifts to the inside of your own mouth.

Whenever you sneeze a random nearby stranger thinks you just said the most insulting thing possible to them.

I rolled "From now on, anytime the caster hears their own name, they are unable to produce sound of any kind for 1 minute" on a wild surge.

Luckily my dm was a bro and used the birthname for silencing me, and part of my character was that he had left his home and society at large in his early teens after several unfortunate wild surges, and took names of his choosing when he needed to interact with civilization, so it wasn't a huge deal, but it could've been awful.

>>53917399
>DM fudges the rules to let you avoid the negative consequences of your actions
>"hurr durr whatta bro XD"

You are the problem with /tg/ today, anon.

>>53917199
My incovenient curses aren't nonsensical and random, so can't help you there.

>>53917199
Forever intensely aware of their tongue.

>>53917439
Is that fudging the rules? Should any alias he's ever used count as his name per the conditions of the curse?

>>53917439

Don't you realize, anon? Consequences can hurt feelings, and we can't have that in today's society.

>>53917263
That's right. He has to own his new identity as "the blowjob guy" before he can transcend it.

>>53917199
>You are now unable to breathe manually.
>Every cock you see goes limp for (but) a moment.
>You must always count things out loud as you pick them up.
>You can never do math in your head again.
>Your fingers will always be sweaty.
>May everything you eat taste vaguely moist.
>May scorpions find you sexy.

every time you drop anything it lands on your feet.

every time someone insults you it retroactively becomes a real trait you really posses.

>>53917289
AAAAAAAA

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>>53922971
>>You are now unable to breathe manually.

you would die

>>53923193
You can still breathe autonomously, but you have no control over your own breathing.

Your foreskin is fucked up and nothing can fix it

Everytime you get a boner it hurts like hell

>>53917439
This, may as well have not even wasted time on it. What a retard.

>>53917199
You now can breathe underwater, but every time you do it, it hurts so fucking much you end up passing out

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>>53923261
You could utilize that for some cool rythym-based shenanigans

Your skin turns black.

>>53917199
Take retarded rules from little entertainment kids make for themselves or OCD people suffer:
>when walking on the pavement, you have to do your best to have your feet firmly on single cobblestone/tile at a time, without crossing to the other one.
>alternatively, you have to count the tiles and step on every third one
>when you eat or drink, you have to eat bits of your food in particular order - first potato, then, piece of meat, then potato again and then you can drink something - also works in battle, don't try to drink your mana potion before your health potion
>you get progressively more anxious and unable to fight the more your armor/clothes/weapon is dirty, covered in blood etc
>when you run, you have to swing your arms like a windmill. Even in battle.
>whenever you agree with some thought or opinion of someone, greet someone, talk with someone you like, you have to clap your hands. Even when you're hiding.
>You're more than a picky eater. You only can eat some specified dishes you're used to and only at specific hours. Try to eat something at different time or have it be something else than your favorite dishes and it'll be like ash in your mouth you'll be unable to swallow.

>>53923459
>>53923193
I am pretty sure you are mistaking manually/autonomously with each other. Autonomously is how most people breathe IRL, without thinking about it. Manually means you have to be conscious about it.

So no rhythm-things, no playing the instruments and so on would be allowed with such a curse.

>Obsessive Compulsive Disorder: The Thread

>>53917199
>You can't eat xor poop.

Every time you take a nonlethal or accidental hit it's in the nuts or ass

You can no longer visually tell the difference between the blade and hilt of any bladed weapon or tool.

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>>53917439
Until he faces a jingoist foe from his homeland who knew his parents. Just because it's not at the front don't mean it's gone.

Blood stains your clothes a bright cyan color that clashes with everything. Take a -4 penalty to all Charisma-based skill tests. Washing it out takes materials costing 10 gp. These materials function as acid on flesh.

>>53923736
>clashes with everything.
Even itself? Because the solution seems to be dying your clothes in blood.

Well, that or prestidigitation. Or just always buying new clothes.