The Ass Devourer needs some class abilities.

You're not going to get anything good out of this because modern /tg/ doesn't know how to relax and have dumb fun.

>Ass-ualt
Gains advantage on all ass eating based rolls.

>Huntning Booty
Is able to detect any ass in the general area.

>Rump Roast
Roll 1d3 for every successful ass attack to regain health.

>>53904883
Stop trying to prove how hip and cool you are because you can post a stale complaint about "boogy-man website #3845"

>>53904930
I know, right, I mean I just CAN'T

>>53904876
you were not kidding.

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>>53904896
Are you literally incapable of having fun?

>>53904983
Old /tg/ would have come up with its own humor rather than reposting monkey cheese RANDOM shit from tumblr

>>53905014
Old /tg/'s "humor" was no less monkey cheese RANDOM than the Ass Devourer, and you're blinded by nostalgia if you think otherwise.

You only hate it because of where it's from.

>>53905014
You shouldn't make it so obvious that you're new here. And no, 5 years is not old.

>>53904886
Presumably, the Ass Devourer attacks in the following fashion:

1) Stalk.
2) Attack and immobilize.
3) Consume.

So what kind of class ability helps with the "immobilize" part? And can we give the Ass Devourer class something that works in general combat as well-- opportunistic ass devouring or something?

>>53904876
Or maybe dumb fun is dumb, always was, and only a minority of butthurt faggots that left enjoyed it.

>>53905078
Some kind of chance to stun, maybe? On a successful sneak attack, they can roll to grapple the target to the ground, making the eating of the ass easier.

>>53905014
"Old" /tg/ had a thread entirely devoted to making and discussing a character who crawled up people's anuses, this is honestly less batshit insane than that.

>>53905014
>>53905128
old /tg/ had multiple threads regarding this.

>>53904860
just start farming ass, then the ass devourer can't do anything

Do you get armor bonuses proportional to the firmness of your ass ?
And I bet an ass-devourer would get increasing bonuses to ass hit, ass damage and ass crit as he levels up, up to the point where he can bite the ass off a steel golem

>>53905606
Also from that image, the obvious weapon proficiency : fork and knife, that can also include dual-wielding a trident and short sword
The fighting style that comes with it allows the ass devourer to pin his opponents down with the fork and slice their sweet tender cheeks with the blade

I feel like this should be a prestige class, accessible to both warriors and rogues (or even barbarian), so as to have more variety in ass-devouring techniques, ranging from sneaking into noble houses to dine on the finest butts, silent and unnoticed, to "AAAAARG KRUK IS GONNA EAT YOUR ASS"

>>53904930
I know right? I literally cannot even. People like him are so problematic

>>53905014
>monkey cheese RANDOM shit from tumblr
>Le Cursing Marines. They said an Uh-Oh word! XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
>How many spiders can we fit in a Drow's vagina? Le ebin.
Truly prepurge /tg/ was the height of sophistication and mature humor

>>53905078
>>53905126
I'd imagine tripping and tackling would be important - you've got to get the soon to be assless person in position, ideally face down.

If they use weapons, I assume slicing would be important - though stunning would also be helpful

>>53906049
what >>53905685 said
fork and knife have a nice theme and they allow for pinning and slicing

>>53906127
Agreed. Fork and knife, pinning tactics. Either can be built as an alternative stealth character or a hit-and-run style character that throws you down, takes a chunk out of your rump, and runs.

>>53906256
Also his butt crits have a small percentage of chance to drain charisma points
While he's plump, rosy and happy, you get an ass so flat even elves mock you

How about an ability where when you finish eating the ass (or otherwise get the finishing blow with a devour maneuver) all enemies in the area need to make some kind of saving throw against fear? Probably doesn't work on elemental and the like, unless you can find some way to eat a fire elemental's spicy buns

>>53907134
>unless you can find some way to eat a fire elemental's spicy buns
Sounds like a higher-level ability.

>>53907134
I don't know, in most fantasy settings people are getting eaten alive by plenty of monsters all the time, some crazy guy might not be enough. Maybe a bonus for active attempts at intimidation. People don't want to mess with someone who has experience eating booty.

>>53905078
Give him back stab ability.

>>53905014
This.

>>53907365
>>53907390
If you're so great let's see the threads you've made today

>>53907365
>>53907390
I'm not so consumed with nostalgia that I couldn't remember all the ass-crawling and spider-vagina threads of the old. But I really don't recall anyone complaining about them like these two faggots. We either knew how to have fun with these juvenile things, or we knew to stay away.

Or does a bit of nostalgia plague my mind even then?

>>53907390
I'm actually stealing that name because I find it hilarious
Have fun, anon, you look like you need it

>>53907172
>be mercenary
>guarding caravan against goblin banditos
>just want to go home and get shit faced, this part of the kingdom is empty anyways
>suddenly an arrow catches Johnson in the throat
>oh shit they're actually attacking
>bunch of dirty gobbos and jobs flood down the hill
>suddenly, one of the passengers charges up the hill
>he's wearing nothing but sandals, a loincloth and a smile
>brandishing a fork and the strangest dagger I've ever seen
>tackles a goblin to the ground, pins it with his fork
>the other guards and a couple of the other jobbers from the caravan engage the enemy
>sandals-man lifts his goblin off the ground ass-end up
>what is he...
>begins devouring the goblins ass
>screams of horror and pain so profound I actually feel bad for the beast
>throws the now assless goblin to the ground, scream as the top of his lungs,
I STILL HUNGER
>morale breaks and the bandits retreat
>guards are equally horrified
>several of the caravan riders who charged out start making ass-puns as they kick the goblins corpse around like a ball

Fucking PC's, they're gonna be the death of me...

>>53909460
And for the rest of the trip, everyone sat very still

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>>53904860
Isn't this just a blue mage?

>>53909546
and no one dared to go to any brothels

>>53906049
Perhaps the ass devourer delivers a brutal pantsing that simultaneously knocks the target over and exposes the ass?

>an entire class based around inflicting butthurt
Lol

>>53905046
Yes and its absolutely reasonable reason to hate it. Its like using regurgitated memes from 9gags.

>>53905070
No, you shouldn't make it so obvious how hard you try to fit in.
That anon is right, old-/tg/ would have chased you off with your Tryhard funny normie piss.

You are neo-/tg/ and you are everything that is wrong with it, even down to the fact that you defend shit like this.

>retards are bumping a thread they want gone when they could just ignore it and return to their 3.pf shitshow
looks like Sir Rumpmuncher took greater cleave as a feat

>>53910562
Looking at this thread, he's clearly effective at it.

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>>53910562
>>53911637
Winners

>>53911608
If they were able to ignore it they wouldn't be retards.

>>53905078
I say NO immobilizing, makes it so much cooler!

He just hounds people, taking chomps out of their asses, until it's gone, possibly even with the persons who got his ass eaten still alive!

Maybe some kind of grapple technique to give him proper vantage to attack the ass

God damn, I gave up this "My shipost site is better than your shitpost site!" Sometime before high school ended. Why can't you guys? Is this place the only thing you have?

Don't you have anything better to do?

>>53913225
Sir Flankfeaster claims another victim!

Hello,

Tumblr here

Please, stop misappropriating our memes

Thank you

>>53913351
Heh, actually I was for the butt muncher, i thought it was funny. I was just perplexed by the guys shitting on the thread.

I just don't understand why people are pointlessly antagonistic online. I mean, I get doing it to people you meet at your job or just in public. But doing it online is worthless, you don't get the satisfaction of making someone want to hit you, but they can't because then they are the bad guy and everyone takes your side.

Are they cowards? Do they not know how to stand up for themselves?

Eh, I guess this was a pretty sad attempt at trolling. Unless I said something that hit close to home for someone.

>>53904886
>>53905078

So basically a fighter that specialises in backstabs - like a fighter-rogue, but with all the stealth and trap/pickpocketing stuff replaced with added butt munching abilities, with self-heals and buffs.

>ASS-ume the position:
Can force another character within arm reach of them to face away from and inflicts the status: Bass Ackwards upon the target until the target performs a move action of any kind

>Surprise Backstab
When a character within range is Bass Ackwards, the Ass Devourer can perform a Physical Attack action (STR or DEX) upon the character, on a successful hit, the standard attack damage is rolled and has added the result the result of rolling a number of D6s equal to how many levels in Ass Devourer the character inflicting the attack (up to a maximum of 9d6).
The result of the D6s rolled is also added to the Ass Devourer's HP.
Furthermore, any one who is successfully hit by this attack is considered "Assless" and "Chapped" for the rest of combat or until a cure serious wounds or equivalent spell is cast on them.
A Chapped character has no ass in their armor or clothing - mechanically this inflicts a -3 penalty to their flatfooted AC.
An Assless character has no Ass on their body - mechanically this permenantly removes 1 point from all their saves and inflicts a further -2 penalty to all saves until the Assless status is removed. however, even once the asslessness is removed, the shame remains, and they cannot regain that permenant point lost.
Assless characters cannot be targeted with this ability again.

>Toss Salad
on a successful DEX roll, can use fling a target of their own size category or smaller 1d4 squares away. targets affected by this are considered prone upon landing, and also have Bass Ackwards status upon them as long as they remain prone.

Has a "detect halfling" ability they can use at will to see if someone is concealed in a tight space

>>53914039
>>53914039
This is absolutely genius
Keep up the good work, anon

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>>53914039
at last, a martial that doesn't suck ass

>>53914264
Goddammit Carlos!

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>>53914264

I hope death comes to you slowly, Carlos.

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>>53904860
Some lore:

>the harsh matriarchy of the Drow who inhabit the underdark beneath the surface of the Forgotten Realms leads to a few male Drow fleeing their society of birth and fleeing to the surface.
>Though they often find surface is no more hospitable to them, and are shunned and outcast them for their Drow heritage.
>It is common for surface drow to band together and struggle to survive around the edge of society, and it was one such group, forced out into the deserts and delirious from lack of food and water that the way of the Ass Devourer was created.
>The first Ass Devourer speaks of how he and his band of outlaw drow were ambushed in the deep desert by a horde of creatures, said to resemble "a roiling pile of asses, that while made up of asses, also in their greater seeming resembled a slighter larger asses made of those asses"
>he speaks of how his fellow drow were quickly slain by the ass-monsters, who tore off his fellows' asses and absorbed them into themselves, before proceeded to take up their weapons and attack him with them
>in this slaughter of ass, the first Ass Devourer was born as he tore and bit and ate his fellow's captured ass from the monsters, and went into a frenzy of battle and ass eating!
>only once no monster were left did he come out of his frenzy, to find him now alone in a blood drenched stretch of desert, with only the assless bodies of his friends left, for presumably, the first Ass Devourer says, he had consumed the ass monsters so totally there was no trace of them left.
>but now with a full belly, he found himself with enough strength neccesary to escape the desert, where he used his new found Ass Devouring Skills to form a group of bandits and vagabonds who he taught his Ass Devouring ways.
>since then, the art of ass devouring has spread amongst those vagabonds and bandits forced to live from ass to mouth to make ends meet, milling constantly around the edges of society.

>>53913649
No! /tg/ can't have fun without quest threads and "elf slave what do?", it is just impossible because they were the height of /tg/ and nothing will ever be as good as they were!

STOP HAVING FUN GUYS!
STOP IT!
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

>>53918497

You seem rump ruffled, has something flustered your butt?

>>53920002
If a butt has been ruffled, flustered, jimmied, or just plain hurt, does the taste change? Do you gain greater powers from a modified ass?

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>>53918358
>forced to live from ass to mouth to make ends meet

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>>53904860
>Don't make an ass of yourself
+5 to Seduction rolls, lvl 4

I feel like this class should be alignment restricted too
CN, CE and NE seem to fit, and conveniently correspond with the kind of player who'd think it's a good idea to play such a character
Could probably expand it to Chaotic and/or Evil (since chaotic good is randumb enough)

>>53924144
TN also seems to work.

>>53904860
>Favored Ass
Works like favored enemy, except it is not race or type dependent, but dependent on the combination of target's size, CON and STR.

>ASS-k Me Anything
Gain bonuses to bluff when talking out of your ass.

>I didn't ASS-k for tihs
Recover 1d8+Level worth HP every time somebody on /tg/ gets butthurt about this thread.

What are the stat requirements/bonuses.

>>53924497
Kissing Ass requires a bit of Dexterity
Talking out of it requires Charisma

>>53924269
As in a character that works towards ass-balance in the world ?
Take from those who have too much ass ?

>>53924362
>recover 3d8+level each turn
Seems a but OP.

>>53925269
Doesn't seem like that much of an asspull to me

>>53924362
>Bottom's Up
Suplex attack

>Ravaging Rimmie
Saving throw against prolapse

>Glutal Brutal
Cutting attack

>Finding Walken's Watch
Deep fist, grapple. Chance to find loot

>>53924550
No morals, just consume.

Same way wild animals are TN

>>53927839
My bad, I confused TN and LN

>>53926829
>Finding Walken's Watch

Fuckin underrated post

>>53904860
I literally can't stop laughing

>>53909712
Holy shit

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Can I take a few class levels of ass devourer when playing this? Could be a good alternative to anal spelunker

>>53924362
>Recover 1d8+Level worth HP every time somebody on /tg/ gets butthurt about this thread.
Bit OP there, m8.

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>>53926829
>>Finding Walken's Watch
Gold.
Also, consider pic related.

>>53905920
>muh mature and sophisticated humor
Dear lord, off yourself already, you joyless wretch.

>>53934866
I'd love to see his example of mature and sophisticated, to be honest. Hell, I'd even love to be proven wrong, shown something much better than this.

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bros what if the ass devourer was a girl and she gained ass points from devouring them

>>53935519
Anon, please... There's a distinction between THICC and meat blob.

>>53935628
She just gained too much experience in ass devouring is all

>>53935688

that why you have to stop playing if your character hits level 20.

>>53934941
>>53934866
That's a deflection, not a counterpoint. Anon #1 was complaining about LOLSORANDUM humor and anon #2 pointed out /tg/ isn't much better.

>>53938156
why don't you gtfo the out you scua faglord

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>>53941549
>>53938156
and furthermore check out darkscape (tm) u scua

>>53904860
>Ass Devourer
>not an Ass'Assin.
I am dissapoint.

>>53942668
That's a level ability or combo of classes - the base Ass Devourer doesn't necessarily kill their victim (though of course they will if the victim has low HP), rather they inflict mostly-permanent damage and negative modifiers, then move on - they cripple and terrify, rather than kill outright

>>53942668
>Assin
Would this be someone that enters via the ass (I.E. Anal Infiltrator) or an unholy caster class with a derriere focus?

>>53943004
They infiltrate and then devour the ass from the inside out.
Imagine the chestburster, if you will.

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>>53909460

This is a great thread topic. It's a little off the wall, self-referential, and the question leaves a lot of room for creativity.

I'm a little sad to see so many responding with criticism for the intent or metacriticism of /tg/ in the whole. This board is what you make of it, and if you don't like a topic, just hide the thread and move on.

I know that traditionally, this board has had the occasional bout of fun policing. Just the nature of online forums.

But I really wish you guys could take more joy from life. It's too short and brutal a struggle to get bogged down in your own head, gazing down at Whoville hating the Whos.

Try being a little immature sometimes. I mean, you do spend a lot of time pretending to be an elf, or wizard, or space marine, or ass-goblin, or whatever. Couldn't hurt to also be a kid again from time to time.

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>>53926829

>>53943191
>Assburster

Absolutely diabolical

>>53944361
would make the facehugger even more terrifying.
People would assume you were just having a particularly painful shit. Add the dread brownies into the mix and it would pass by unnoticed

>>53943425
This is just a shit thread, and no amount of "C'mon guys, why don't you jump on this tumblr wagon? It's so lolrandom!" can change that.

It's actually really pathetic how awful this thread is, with bonus points for the constant posts made by idiots like you who misunderstand why the crazy stuff /tg/ actually does is good, and how this is very far removed from that.

This is just people making bad butt jokes and thinking they're clever.

>>53946477
>This is just people making bad butt jokes and thinking they're clever.
The butt jokes are good and the poeple who make them are clever.

>>53946477
Well, again, I'd heartily encourage you to make a legitimately good humor thread, something you yourself would approve of.

I'm not one to dismiss a perfectly legitimate point just because you yourself haven't even tried, but actions would improve the board's quality far more than mere deeds. Link it to this thread and I'll probably participate in it too.

>>53905078
"Booty Call" to lure his luscious prey into danger

>>53944361
>instead of a facehugger, an adult xenomorph pushes you down and rams its roughly footlong, ridged ovipositor in your ass

>>53943425
I've had fun reading this thread (aside from the salty fucker who I assume is an Ass Devourer's latest victim).

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>53950761
You're not fooling anyone.
We all know you'll come back every few hours for the (You)s

>>53946477
>>53950761
What's with all the angry posters in this thread?

Is it because summer started yesterday?

>>53951262
People think they're too mature to have fun with this thread, while still being not mature enough to just ignore it outright.

>>53951262
It's because some people are used to having a cyber ego to maintain, so they virtue signal shamelessly in order to do what they think will look good to everyone else.
They have yet to grasp the concept of anonymity.

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I was thinking of an Ass Devourer doing one of those samurai showdown things, where, after a second past a dash by their target, their prey screams in agony as their body registers its lack of a butt, but I'm not sure that move exists in any game I've played. Seems like a fun ability, switch places with a LoS target, winner of an opposed roll crits (user gets a bonus to the roll or to damage, obviously).

>>53951397
This desu. Why bother pretending to have opinions you don't, when chances are nobody's going to even remember you in a day?
I'd much rather be upfront about my interests, especially here, because some are actually interested in worldbuilding. It's a lot of fun to take a blatant magical realm or ridiculous concept, ask "okay, why? And so then what?" and turn it into a passable, if joke/gag, idea.

Cute dragon unrelated.

>>53953178
Is it possible for the Ass Devourer to get a cute dragon as a mount/companion?
Would they compete for asses, or would the dragon let the ass devourer devour asses and leave the rest for the dragon?

>>53904860
>Dat-Soldier
Oh McLeod, your weird french-canadian ass will never stop being amusing.

>>53953335
Dragons, lacking a proper ass, would be free from the Ass Devourer's wrath. As long as that ass is left intact for the AD, I'd say dragon's would be good mounts for them.

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>>53953405
You are aware you can hide threads, right?

>>53953411
You know, this also brings up the question regarding the AD's ass. Would it have already been devoured, or does the AD only consume the asses of others for some nefarious ritual or twisted code of ethics? What if two ADs were to meet, both with asses intact?

>>53953465
I'm imagining a Double King type scenario, where normally they would not try to eat their own ass only because it has not crossed their mind to do so. If they were walking by a mirror and had enough clarity to realize that they had a ripe rump, they'd try to slice it off and consume it.

>>53953465
Have you ever tried to bite your own ass?
Even through the ass devourer's unending ass lust, he knows the impossibility of that task

>>53953405
>if i keep posting in this thread eventually it'll hit the bump limit and I won't have to see this thread anymore
Alternatively, people can report your shitposting, your posts will be deleted, and you will have to lurk and watch us all have fun incorrectly while you frantically google "how to avoid 4chan ban".

>>53954286
That was actually some of the most pathetic shitposting I've ever seen.
4 posts in 45 minutes and then getting deleted with only two responses?
Fucking hell, even Manlet Tears would call this guy a faggot.

>>53953501

Or they would attack the mirror and gain the power to eat mirror ass.

>>53955994
That depends on how smart the Ass Devourer is. If his INT is too low he'd attack the mirror on the spot. If his INT is high enough he'd figure out it was himself before succumbing to the impulse and then need to deal with the desire to eat his own ass.

>>53951294
It's more of you patting yourselves on the back for extremely low-tier humor, and then getting offended when people point out that this is about as funny as something you'd find on tumblr.

It's hardly about maturity, it's more of the fact that you guys are not only not funny, but trying to pretend that your lack of humor is somehow representative of /tg/.

In every other thread people are dropping better jokes, and frankly, they're doing so without being humorless try-hards like you guys.

>>53953178
>Seems like a fun ability, switch places with a LoS target, winner of an opposed roll crits (user gets a bonus to the roll or to damage, obviously).
Maybe a sorta high-level vorpal lite ability?
On crit insta devour that ass?
Not lethal, though highly damaging and crippling

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>>53953335
>the Ass Devourer, considering himself the master, takes his choice pick of assflesh from their prey
>it was hard to control, but he managed to get her where they needed to go eventually - generally somewhere with plenty of ripe asses
>the dragon, knowing it was easier to let her pet continue thinking that, gladly devours the nutritious and tasty rest of the body
>rationalizing letting him ride her back with "well, bag dogs are a thing," she calmly leads him away from obvious traps he seems not to notice

>>53958962
I think they man as a samurai-ish fighter skill, not necessarily AD-exclusive but one they could use.
>Showdown
>>must be Proficient at equipped melee weapon
>choose a target enemy 3 to your move speed squares away
>>you and target must be able to see each other
>>the path between you must not be obstructed, though gaps can be leapt over with the appropriate check
>>target must be wielding a melee weapon
>move yourself and target in a line until you swap places
>>this does not trigger ground-based traps
>>this does not trigger Attacks of Opportunity
>end your turn, skip target's next turn
>on next turn:
>you and target sheath/holster your weapons
>your move speed for the turn is 0
>you and target roll to hit twice
>for each, if both of you hit, roll an opposed DEX check
>if you win this roll or are the only one to hit, deal twice a critical normal attack, and all gain Advantage against target for 2 turns
>if you lose this roll or are the only one to miss, the enemy lands a critical normal attack, and enemies gain Advantage against you for 1 turn
>if either attack downs the target, you may choose to ready your weapon as a Free action, and gain +1 to your next attack
Probably not well-designed, but I think it fits the cliche well enough.

>>53959524
>Ass Devourer's mount/companion may make spot/listen checks for him
If he can recover HP from eating asses, I think he's literally unbeatable. Send the dragon or whatever in to scout around, point out the mages with their 'cloak ass' spells, then herd him in to let him get down to business.
What weapons are efficient for maximum ass devouring though? You'd want something bladed, and capable of clean cuts to ensure minimum ass is wasted. Would piercing weapons work in pinch?

>>53960329
Read at the start of the thread
We already agreed on knife/fork combo (can be switched for trident/short-sword at higher levels)
It allows you to pin with the fork and slice with the blade

>>53961056
>can be switched for trident/short-sword at higher levels
I kind a like the idea he just makes it work with a fork and knife to be honest, but there probably shouldn't be any penalties from branching out

Actually, what other cutlery themed weapons can they be proficient in?

>>53961524
A two handed spatula. Flip 'em, pin 'em, din 'um.

>>53961524
A giant cleaver comes to mind.
Bidents/quaddents(?) and the like could serve as alternatives or upgrades to the trident.
Maybe a meat tenderizer styled maul for dealing with especially tough asses.

>>53961524
Rapier for ass kabobs. Spear for larger foes.

>>53961056
>>53961524
After writing >>53918358 I kicked myself because I forgot to have the whole "dual weilding a carving knife and pronged fork thing" - which was why I went with "refugee drow males" in the first place, as a drizzt reference.

and let's be honest, Drizzt kinda munched ass.

>>53961537
I could see just a regular (if massive) spatula being used as a club

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>>53967376

Battlesawd/carving-sword + prong/trident/sai.

because before he eats the ass, first he has to fork the ass

Good, fun thread.
I'm happy that there's still remnants of /tg/ left.