Mtg flavour text thread

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Bump

I've loved these guys ever since I opened my first Arabian Nights pack way back in the day.

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>>53855883
Herpa derp

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My personal favorite.

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A particular favorite of mine. Naya was a rad fuckin place.

>>53859131
Oh, sheeeeeese, I never realize the combo with Oblivion Sower.

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One of my favorites

>>53859162
Oh shit, neither did I.

Time to make a kaiju deck.

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I really like this one.

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An old favorite

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...and a new favorite

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To hell with Werebear, this is the best flavour text pun.

Cards that reference other cards, especially meta commentary, are my fucking jam.

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>>53859639
Like this pic I forgot to include!

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>>53859391

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>>53859246
That's a good one. I like well-worded, one line flavor texts. Stuff that sounds like someone's adventure log come at a close second.

Does anyone have the painfully overdescriptive instead card flavor text about the cursed symbol of the church?

>>53861663
*innistrad* card flavor text. Sorry phone posting

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>>53861665

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>>53861663

>>53861785
I have a copy of this in my werewolf deck, just so I can smile every time I see it.

>>53861785
Thank you

>>53861785
I require more too wordy card flavor texts

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My kind of thread
Crovax is one of my favorite characters in MTG lore

Protip: you can find larger images of cards on magiccards.info

>>53862258
My brother from another mother

I got crovax, and selenia edh decks to battle to the death with. Casting death stroke gives me the feels...

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>>53862341
Thank you, have a classic
>>53862506
My nigga
Flavorful decks are always more fun than "good" decks

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I ran a Cyberpunk 2020 game where the Netrunner villain and her squad of evil mercs would taunt the party with Flavor Text from Magic cards. Specifically Counterspells. My players(who are all magic players) enjoyed it thoroughly.

http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=430665

Flavor text's not my favourite, but that last gatherer ruling amuses me.

>>53861708
>>53861665
Serra Angel can eat a Deathmarked dick. Her fanboys are responsible for the, until very recently revised, mono-gender of angels and demons

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>>53864524
>twelve years ago was recently

>>53864418
heh, that's pretty good

>>53863507
Recover is easily one of the best flavor texts in all of MtG history

>>53864541
>one card from an alternate timeline is somehow an argument
I'm aware of gabriel, my point still stands.

>>53864586
>All the angels in Magic are women
>Except this one angel
>I'm still mad though!

Jesus, just relax.

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I've always just loved this one for some reason.

>>53864683
I can't wait for whatever plane this turns out being

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Still chuckling

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how has no one posted this yet?

>>53864267
this is good. nobody commented so I will comment

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Always plan for it. We don't have four thousand years to waste.

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>>53859162
nice

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>>53854409

>>53866008
Is this the new Scarred Puma?

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I always liked this one.

>>53865858
Edgy.

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UB street riots anyone?

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>>53866287

I can do this aaall day.

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>>53867156

Wow...I'm man enough to admit I've been bested.

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>>53867200

>>53864524

It hasn't been "recently revised". Amonkhet's male angels will be a one-off to reflect the unnatural state of the plane.

I'd be cool with male angels, but I also have no problem with all-female angels. Puts more of a "Magic" mark on them when biblical angels were traditionally male in name and depiction.

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>>53865228
Topkek

I've always found this one amusing, not because of the flavour text itself, but because his name is written 4 times

>>53855928
I like the older art better. A harvest bot on an unicycle is way cooler and besides that one just looks like corrupted version of Urza's power armor.

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Islam does as Islam do.

>>53866195
Came here just to post this.

>>53865362
Because it only sounds deep. It's complete empty of any actual meaning, but retards gonna retard I guess.

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I like this one because it sums up the tragedy of urza in a single sentence

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this is such a great quote
>>53862607
my man
the urza story figures are the best because of their much more human flaws and failures as opposed to the kind mary sue new walkers

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>>53868019

Damn, that is good'n.

> a 0/3 for ZERO ?!

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>>53868073
thats pretty good
let me raise you one

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notice that almost all of these are from the era of urza? its almost as if the plotine/fluff of magic has sucked recently

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>>53868101
I figure a lot of it comes from just a poorer content of writing on average. There are a lot of cards with great flavor and flavor text, but they're harder to find. Back in Urza's bunch, they were obvious and easy to see. Now, we have to find shit like pic related.

Still though, good stuff exists.

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People always say that obsidian fireheart has the best rules text that's flavour text, but I beg to differ

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>>53868084

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>>53868101
Nah, it's because these threads are nostalgic and most of these don't see much play

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>>53854409

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>>53868155
>>53868145
good point,

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Are we saying g we're better than them?

Yeah, were fucking better than them!

>>53865362
The Trading Post version is better.

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>>53859459
WRONG

>>53859162
You can also flicker the thing to make sure no land ever comes back.

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>>53868275

Damn, that's a cold piece.

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No flavor text thread is complete without our magnum opus.

>>53868340

that fucking last one...

>>53868353
Every time I see it, I hear the song too. It's great.

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This ones flavor is great because it sums up the plot and tragedy of the whole set

>>53866388
Im more just mad at this card for existing.

7 mana 5/7. Ok sure. Why the fuck not.

Oh and it taps for a mana.

WHY. To hit the critical 9 mana.

Fuck Im mad.

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>>53868463
Oh, the things you would do for that sweet, sweet blue mana

>>53868615
The worst I go for is an Island.

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>>53868680
AN ISLAND FISH

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>>53868746

Haha, now I see it repeatedly.

>>53864821
kek

>>53868746

Does this work for anything that would fetch an island? Is there any way to cheat this fucker out?

>>53859220
Hmm.. I wonder if this is from the third Ice Age MTG book where jodah goes to the conclave where marsail rules and imprisoned the former ruler of the conclave Lord Ith

but i don't remember anyone named Gerrard in the book..

>>53869010
Its gerrard of the weatherlight motherfucker

>>53868853
Errata says that it's not an island.
Sorry friend.
http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=2161

>>53868853
>You've activated my trap card!
>One of my Islands is was a fish all along!

>>53868853
Island fish was errataed to be just a fish. Check gatherer.

>>53869033
pls no bully it's sunday

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>>53869552

> Not everywhere... :^)

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>>53868145

Like this one

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>>53870191
Both Innistrads had some really solid flavor text IIRC.

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>>53870224
This count as innistrad plane flavor and I love it.

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>>53867441
>the older art
>implying
Dude.

>corrupted version of Urza's power armor
>Urza wears Thran armor
>Phyrexians were originally Thran
Are you saying it doesn't make sense? Because it makes perfect sense.

>>53870387

...and the flavor is way better.

>>53867933
you're retarded

>it's completely empty of actual meaning
nice reading comprehension bud

it's clearly stating how you can work your whole live to stack riches but in the end you return to the fucking earth and cant take any of that wealth with you

>>53868047
>Urza
>human flaws
I think you need to reread the Weatherlight Saga. I'm not saying the new story is great literature or anything, I'm just saying that the old stuff was just as bad.

>>53870485
>>53867933
oh also, it's called squandered resources

resources being a play on words a bit because at first glance you'd think he's referencing money

he isn't. the resources are the limited amount of time and interactions you have in your life and how if you waste it only being consumed with getting richer, you'll have squandered those opportunities (resources)

man it must suck to be so low intelligence you dismiss anything you can't critically think about as some sort of hippie bullshit.

>>53870500
Urza is an archetypal Byronic hero
his very passions and genius are his weakness
they consume him
he works so hard on achieving his goal he forgets why he even wanted his goal

>>53870512
Painting with broad strokes, you can represent the Gatewatch with literary traditions, too. That's the thing about literary interpretation--it's very easy to say whatever you want. For example, I could fairly easily draw parallels between Liliana and Pechorin.

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>>53870191
Never even seen this one, gorgeous

>>53870387
Man, new Phyrexia is good, but I wish there were more playable stuff with this kind of art

>>53868266
10th ed one by Laquatus is better imo

>>53870606
good point, but the thing with the jacetic league is that they were everywhere
Urza was the backdrop to the story
the mission control
the big "good"
but it was the story of those close to him and those that were fulfilling his legacy
and less urza himself

>>53868157
I still want a can just to airbrush this on the side.

>>53863507
Jesus, what happened to magic?

>>53861577
That's perfect. I need a deck around that.

>>53864821
>Gorilla
>Tail
REEEEEEEEEEEE

>>53869138
And before that it was an Island-Fish

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How has this not been posted

>>53871662
Fucking yes. This is my shit.

>>53871682
i do not get what is being said here

>>53871783
Leopard is too chickenshit to get revenge on an elephant, kills goats instead

>>53871901
ah ok, the "i will tell my father's stories" part threw me off for some reason

>>53859162
I used to run a casual Naya Eldrazi deck with a few of these dudes and the big three. Was fucking cash

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>>53863394

A lot of the Time Spiral set cards have great flavor text

>>53871761
>t. Nietzsche Bolas

>>53863507

man, the barrin/urza ones and the champions of kamigawa ones in particular are fantastic. can't think of anything in the past few years that have gotten close to those.

>>53874504
Ahem >>53861785

For real though, there's a few gems, they're just harder to find.

>>53867434
Which is coincidental given that he dies in the flavour text :P

>>53874434

I almost can't read parts of that, please download of magiccards.info

>>53870848
One is from just a year or so back. The same set that a Super Snarky Jace was on every other card. They've still got it but it's suppressed.

>>53868463

Legends was a different time.

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Funny how jace changed

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>>53870790
A can?

>>53868157
My favorite part of Indestructible Aura is that it doesn't have or grant Indestructible and it isn't an Aura.

>>53876923
i would run it and put it under isocron secpter, would be fun

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The invocation for this one is terrible
http://mythicspoiler.com/hou/cards/nomercy.html

>>53876225
Flavor Text Jace and Storyline Jace have always been separate people. Storyline Jace has been pretty consistent. Flavor Text Jace is just Ertai.

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>>53859220

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I love this card

>>53871954
It's part of an ongoing song Night and Day are singing to each other.

>>53855802
>>53855826
f-fuck you Lestin!

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>when the flavour text is also really good life advice

>>53867930
OHHHH Good one

>>53868019
You sir, have patrician taste.

>>53879034
>willows are indestructible
How about becoming more powerful

>>53868340
Bottom left is still the best.

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>>53859331
better art coming through

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Never has flavor text fit so perfectly with a card.

>>53878888
fuck yeah.

also checked the quads

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I always liked this one. Especially the fact that it fits the card well

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>>53867434
I don't know how much you know about Three Kingdoms but if you ever get a chance, you should go on youtube and watch Three Kingdoms 2010.
It's 95 episodes at 45 minutes each and it's absolutely fucking incredible.
When it gets to the part in that card's flavor text it's amazing
Shit I think I'm about to rewatch it for the 4th time

>>53870168
keke

>>53866284
You have finer taste than most, anon.

>>53864524
angels do not have sex

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>>53868148
Love it. reminds me of pic related

>>53881150
Nice normie meme desu.

>>53859162
Realm Razer
Dorks/Rocks
Tunnel Ignus
Ankh of Mishra

It's fun

>>53864683
>>53864727
I would love to see a plane inspired by the nineteenth century that is not only steampunk and gears everywhere
Innistard does not count

>>53881375
>2017
>unironically being a meme snob

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>>53854409

>>53881902
please no steampunk, really tired of it

>>53881902
youre a subhuman

>>53883264
Yeah... because steampunk is the most original theme ever. It's not like it has been done to death before in other works of fiction.

I believe that the nineteenth century holds more appeal than gears and exhaust pipes glued to everything.

>>53883385
thats why hes a subhuman.
Because Clockfop is a shitty overdone setting that is so far up its own arse it has transcended the "steam machines" category to "lets stick gears everywhere"

Clockfop is just an excuse for cosplay girls to dress up slutty, theres i nothing else there worth salvageable.

Innistrad did a superior job with the time period theme.

>>53883537
>53883537
*worth salvaging

its early in the morning

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I find this lack of Chub Toad disturbing.

>>53859220
If Jace or Chandra said this exact line, /tg/ would be quoting and memeing it in derisive mockery for the next 3-5 years minimum.

>>53884404
>So, this is the power of nostalgia... woah!

>>53881064
rule34.paheal.net/post/view/1983720

>>53884277
The best thing about Chub Toad is that it has fucking Bushido

>>53883537
>thats why hes a subhuman.

I think you've misunderstood.
>>53881902 says they'd like to see a 19th century plane that is -not- steampunk and gears everywhere.

Why Innistrad doesn't count is a mystery though.

>>53884751
Now I want an image of a chub toad in a suit of japanese armour.
I hate chub toad, because all that comes to mind is a toad with a semi erect dick

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>>53884277

>>53881064
Ravnica begs to differ!

>>53884941
I would assume they want 19th century nonhorror.

>>53884941
Innistrad is 17th-18th century with no firearms.

>>53874628
Slow your roll there, Ecclisiarch.

>>53884722
I'm not proud of the fact that I knew damn well what artist was being posted before I opened the link.

>>53877323
Nah, it's cool.

>>53884277
This is the favourite card of one of my friends and for the longest time I didnt know why... Until the day I found out he's into vore.

>>53884404
There's nothing wrong with that flavor text though. It's a simple joke. It's not as stupid as some of the ones we get now.

>>53879359
>>53879383
Wow good catch, I never realized the flavor text mirrored.

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goblins always get the good stuff

>>53863507
>wandering ones
feels overload

>>53894544
What a plane!

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>>53892354
Love this one.

Here's another cool one. The tangle was a really cool place.

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>>53854409

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>>53854409

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This is a personal favorite. Scars block had some fantastic flavor text

>>53862607
God that flavor text is a billion times better than the 9th Edition text

>>53863507
>Hero's Demise

OH DAMN NIGGA that is some stupid good flavor text.

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>>53854409

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>>53854409

I really wish this card was better

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>>53902250
Enchantments always have the best text

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I'm always a huge sucker for this guy, same with Exiled Doomsayer.

Frankly, the Otaria clerics were fucking awesome.

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>>53902261

>>53868340
>wow daughter git gud holy shitttttttt
I'm fucking dying holy shit

>>53882605
This one would be great if Sea Gate wasn't such an awful name for a place.
It sounds more like a waterpark than an important battle.

>>53859352
Is this a Terry Pratchett reference?

>>53870317
Oh fuck I only just now noticed the hours in the kid's chest.

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One of my favorites