Mages Guild: Familiar Fighting Edition

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Wait, familiars are doing what?! Reinforce, did you know about this?
>Her familiar is a pangolin
>It makes no noise in response

>>53824145
I'm...not even sure I want to know how this got started. Maybe it was tired of you getting beat up in the necromancy department?

>>53824191
Reinforce is a pangolin. Why and how would she organize a fight club?

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>>53824127
I'm still unsure if this is the work of my familiar or not. Have we still not found the ringleader of this... phenomenon?

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>>53824221
Not going to touch the how. But with hardened scales like that, i doubt a witch's cat or a bunny will be able to do much damage.

Plus there's no way it's not getting a take of the bets, right?

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>>53824127

A fighting circuit? I know nothing about this.

>>53824230
I don't think there is one. It seems too widespread.
>>53824251
Neither did I until they started fighting on the table.
There's even a crowd.

On that note, are there any rules for this? That imp has a knife for fuck's sake. A KNIFE. How is that even fair?

>>53824230
Not that I'm aware of.

>>53824251
Are you the familiar of a witch, wizard, arcanist, sorcerer, etc.?

>>53824250
Do we know which familiars are taking the bets? I might be interested in placing one if this keeps going.
>>53824275
Hmm... in that case it's probably not due to my familiar. It would never tolerate such chaos.

>>53824250
I honestly have no idea She hasn't given me any money if she has.

Wait, no, that's not the point, this is inhumane! Except that familiars are doing it of their own volition so...

>>53824127
Gods damn it all to hell you old fart! We where supposed to hold a vote on petition 607 today! You can't keep avoiding the issue by holding bogus meetings for these trivial matters! 607 is important dammit!

>>53824275

Would you like me to find some rulebook somewhere?

But I warn you, It could take away the senseless joy and violence.

>>53824288

No, just the Head Librarian. I sold my body to the Mage Guild in order to pay the tuition at the Arcane University for my daughter.

>>53824127
So the familar's have finally decided to go pro? As adorable as that is, I've gotta say; good for them!

>>53824250
To be fair, some of those cats have some pretty sharp claws... And are seven feet tall... And they aren't cats...

>>53824300
I didn't even know you had one.
Floating skull?
>>53824311
Complex, isn't it?
>>53824314
Wait, Jeanne. Which one is 607? I remember 605.
>>53824326
That is true...
But there isn't much enjoyment if a witch's cat versus an imp is a zero to ten match-up because the imp was allowed to bring a stabbing implement.

>>53824311
Indeed they are. This is what happens when we don't pay close enough attention to our familiars. I made the mistake long ago of letting mine run off on its own instead of helping me with my work.
>>53824314
In my opinion Petition 607 is what's bogus, Petition 539 is what should be on the table today. If the table wasn't occupied by the familiars.
>>53824353
Of course not! A proper familiar needs to be alive.

>>53824314
What is exactly IS "607"? Was that the creation of a contingency plan, incase the local bee population gained sentience, and began revolting; or the one on banning nut based spells from the guild?

I say... Do you suppose that's why Piper here has earned so much gold recently? -I- certainly don't pay her.

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>>53824300
I suppose if you find one with a green visor...

>>53824311
She isn't paying you? That's the real travesty. You feed her and bathe her and subject her to Quin's weird machinations...

>>53824346
Yes Mal, You have made your point. Now put away the cat ears please.

>>53824353
I'm just confused.
>>53824369
Ungh.
>>53824389
I don't think she's even taking bets...

>>53824369
Was 539, the one where we limit the number of sentient cattle allowed to use spells, or the one where we determine who, during a magic duel, is allowed to use "power beam"?

>>53824346
Meow
>well that's fucking terrifying and probably also not a cat

>>53824369
Really? You're the first person to say that.
What do you have?
>>53824381
The bees were 367, last I checked that one was shelved as well.
...Wait, what have we passed recently?
>>53824382
Thats probably it. Unless Piper has been busking.
What is Piper? I can't see under the table.
>>53824395
I can't tell from back here, are these to the death or until knockout?

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>>53824389
Cat ears? What are yo-...
>He'd stop, and would run the top of his head. Realizing he has cat ears.

Ugh! Why do people keep doing this to me!

>He'd switch his ears back to normal.

>>53824381
The new bee defense plan was 367, the anti-tree nut petition was 688. Honestly, are you even paying attention?

>>53824409
I remember we passed 532 last week, had to do with skirt length under robes for witches and divine casters.

>>53824381
I think it was the decision to begin an emergency import of pointy shoes... but maybe I got them mixed up.
>>53824382
Probably. An easy way to tell is if the money has bite marks in them, not all familiars have hands.
>>53824389
Hmm... oh, I see it there, thank you.
>>53824395
Word of advice, don't let Pierre teach your familiar tricks, they become a lot harder to find afterwards.
>>53824396
No it was the banning of running in the Cryomancy Department, which honestly should be common sense rather than the point of a petition.
>>53824409
The only natural creature able to live long enough, obviously.

>>53824397
>>53824433
>He'd turn around, after turning his ears back to normal.

Oh....
.....
........
Huh.... So that's why I smelled tuna....

>>53824434
Count yourself lucky you were not given a pallet curse.
I woke up green once.
>>53824442
...You're being vague here Lazarus.

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>>53824409
Oh heavens! Was I invisible this whole time?

I sometimes forget to remove my enchanted rings when I come indoors. On a completely unrelated note, is anyone feeling a bit hot? If so, don't worry. The burns will heal eventually.

>>53824442
Huh... Are you sure the shoe one, wasn't 389, and the cyromancy one, 226? Or were those, "Making sure Goblins don't own shoes pointy shoes", and "Leaving the archwizard a slice of pie"?

>>53824474
...I suppose I will consider myself lucky.

>>53824475
I'm fine, but I'm also not the best person to ask about that.

>>53824475
Actually, I guess we should come clean... Its because the rest of us didn't want to crush your dreams for the 88th time....


I mean, you work so hard on those invisibility rings, and they never seem to work!

>>53824409
I have no idea.
>>53824442
I will not, okay.

>>53824397
I would like to place a bet on the snake familiar of Gregory of the Pyromancy Department. That one over there, you're handling bets are you not?
>>53824474
Sadly it's my familiar's fault, I cannot speak its identity out loud unless whoever I'm speaking to knows about it. Blame Pierre for teaching it.
>>53824475
Glad to see you again, how many enchanted rings are you up to these days? Have you gotten one for each finger yet?
>>53824480
I thought the goblin issue was Petition 643. What's Petition 643 then?

>>53824409
Obroal... When was the last time, we actually managed to PASS anything... Including our students?

>>53824512
So what are you thoughts on Petition 659? I mean, most of my students have been clamoring for that kind of thing since before I took office, apparently.

>>53824516
Hmm... Wasn't 643, that one where we decided to ban all practices of magical trumpet playing before 11 am, and after 12 pm?

Or maybe it was where we decided that all students must have been demonically possessed atleast once in their life, before they were eligible for tuition reductions?

>>53824475
Yeah the summer heat has been getti-
Wait burns?
>>53824487
Would you believe me if I said it wasn't a witch?
>>53824512
Does Reinforce know?
>>53824516
Ok, you can't speak it's name. Can you give it's species?
>>53824530
>He raises his hand.
>Then lowers it.
Ok students, yes, those still pass. But I will agree with you that these meetings usually accomplish things directly and without passing legislation.

>>53824460
Meow
>its rubs against your leg while speaking out cat sounds in a deep voice
>mind the poison quills

>>53824568
I...maybe? I think that might have been the one about dragons perching atop the guild lighthouse, but maybe im wrong.

>>53824569
Not even remotely.

>>53824569
Well, she shut up.
>>53824560
What petition is that?

>>53824530
We passed a measure to turn the king into a young woman in an attempt to make him stop taxing us. That was... two years ago? Or was it three? In hindsight, I'm rather surprised it worked.
>>53824560
Wait, 659? Wasn't that the one about building another tower for reagents on the west side of the guild?
>>53824568
No, the trumpet thing was Petition 111, and it was passed last month. People are just doing it anyway.
>>53824569
Its name, species and gender are all magically protected secrets. I should have never let Pierre look after it while I was taking over Ferronia.
>>53824570
Is that a no on you handling betting?

>>53824570
>He'd attempt to avoid the poison quills, while scratching it's ears.

>>53824569
Exactly! Our collection of teachers and students, couldn't pass the butter to the end of the table, without it devolving into the ethics of whether it should be allowed sentience, or not! And even that would be detailed to where we begin talking about how tasteful, the pictures of Archwizard in the guild's new pin-up Calander's are! ANnd by the by! Turning your nipples into dolphins, isn't exactly tasteful, despite what people keep saying!

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I would like to address the rise of dead familiars that accompany the fighting circuit. Please stop chewing on the ropes that hold up the chandeliers on the 3rd floor.

>>53824624
Three, I believe, and from what I hear she's taken to it quite well. Plenty of new suitors, they say she looks quite lovely.

>>53824655
>record scratch

Wait. WHAT pin-up calendar?

A Familiar fighting ring?
Is it exclusive? Cause im sure my bear could win those fights easily!

>>53824602
No, I'm pretty sure you're thinking of Petition 1127. I expressly remember that one, because somebody kept complaining about having to clean up all the droppings.
>>53824624
Than what Petion am I thinking of? Was it maybe, Petition 844?

>>53824602
The redrobes are creative. I've ended up in a small but stupid rivalry with one over Ink magic.
>>53824605
...Familiar mind link, remember?
>>53824624
Wow. That's inconvenient. How do you even know where it is then?
>>53824655
Hmm. I forgot that existed.
Still. The last meeting showed that most departments had a good pass rate.
>>53824663
Hello Ellen.
>>53824684
Nixia. You're in luck. There appear to be no rules.
None. At all.

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>>53824703
Wonderful!
My bear is one heck of a fighter!
We spar on almost every morning!

>>53824677
Yeah, the pin-up Calander's... Y-you seriously haven't seen them?

>He'd hand one over to you.

Most of them are just the Archwizard in various stages of nudity, and poses. But some of the Calanders are solely pictures of various teachers.

My favourite, is the one with Professor Thunderdun with the body of an Elephant. Hehe... His head was so tiny...

Oh wait! No, switch my answer, to the one of Lazurus' butt, as a skunk!

>>53824703

>Waves
Hello, Izz. How has this fighting trend treated you?

>>53824663
There have been casualties? Why was I not told sooner?
>>53824684
I do not know. Though that rabbit over there seems to have no trouble with things twice its size. It might give your bear a run for its money, or at least an even fight.
>>53824690
Oh, yes, I think that's it. Petition 844.

Now if I could only figure out which petition was about bringing back the wide brimmed hat as standard uniform...
>>53824703
Usually. Though it's given me the slip at the moment. Which is why I assumed it might be behind the fighting ring. Guess it's just lazing in the sun somewhere, or swimming in the ocean.

>>53824703
I'm not just gonna pry open her mind to figure it out.
>>53824732
Why are you fighting your familiar?

>>53824757
I'm pretty sure, that was Petition 802. I remember, because right after that, we skipped Petition 803, and went onto Petition 804, because the other one, was about whether or not Druids should be murdered on sight.

>>53824732
Does it know any of your magic?
>>53824745
Me? Haven't bet on anything. My familiar Azure has been too busy stealing cookies to actually care.
Do you have a Familiar Ellen?
>>53824757
You can still look at it with your eyes right?
This trick sounds extremely complex.
>>53824768
So be it.
Maybe she'll surprise you and bring home some winnings or something.
>>53824794
Petition 806 was about trying to make peace with the druids, look how well that turned out after 803.

>>53824757
Consering my bear is no less than 10 times that rabbits size! I think he will have no troubles!

>>53824768
We make eachother stronger! And the best way to do that is to spar with each other!
How else would I do it?

>>53824814
Its a bear Izz.
Keep talking like that and Ill have to beat you up more often!

>>53824814
Yes, and Petition 877 was about having the Chronomancers go back in time, and murder the first Druids.

>>53824794
Oh right, I remember now... I suggest we once more bring up Petition 804!
>>53824814
Yes, it's not invisible. That's one trick Pierre didn't teach it. It's fairly visible once it's around, except when it's hiding in my hat anyway.
>>53824826
True... still, that rabbit is dynamite.
>>53824840
Which is sure to fail, so I think once it's time to discuss it we can pass on that and move on to Petition 878, ensuring that all new members of the Mages Guild is given a staff should they not possess one.

>>53824757
I assume that's where they're coming from. Unless of course it's coincidental. I personally haven't been to one.

>>53824814
Me? No. At least I don't think I do, though its possible I did at some point. I had an apprentice, though. Not entirely sure what happened to him.

Is Azure stealing your cookies or just cookies in general?

>>53824826
I have no idea.
>>53824814
She might.

>>53824826
...Nixia. Familiars are linked to you magically. They can inherit you some of your skills and later on, you can cast from them. Like a turret.
And don't you fucking try it!
>>53824826
Which was denied. I remember. Chronomancers are the scum of the guild.
>>53824865
Well damn. That IS complex.
Hmm. Look, a new round is starting. Bets on the lesser drake or the land shark?
>>53824870
Whatever he can find.
Hopefully the fifth floor did not kill your apprentice. Did you say that you are seeing more Familiar ghosts?
>>53824874
You say that like you already know.

>>53824865
Lazurus... Petition 804 was on whether or not Necromancy is an actual school. Petition 803 was the one on murdering all Druids on sight.

Also, I thought Petition 878 was on making it mandatory for all female instructors have to wear magical bikini's when in class?

>>53824865
Your rabbit explodes?
Even more a reason why my Bear will defeat it!

>>53824874
Exactly! Its the best way little Obsidia!

>>53824913
>She holds her arms up in a fighting pose
Is that a threat!?

and I dont know about this magic linking, I became friends with him and he is my familiar now!

>>53824913
...I think I have lost track of this conversation.
>>53824928
Rrrrrright.

>>53824913
That depends... Does the landshark have arms and a battle axe? If so, put me down for forty-seven Dethian Crystal balls!

And yes. Most Chronomancers ARE scum!

>>53824870
I could be coincidental... I'll have a look at them later and see if I recognise any of them.
>>53824913
Five hundred dosh and my hat on the lesser drake.
>>53824919
Really? I thought it was the other way around. Let's skip both 803 and 804 so that we don't do something unthinkable by accident.

And the bikini petition was Petition 969, it will never pass.
>>53824928
No, it's not my rabbit... actually, I'm not sure who's familiar that is.

>>53824967
What bikini petition?

>>53824928
Oh please. There isn't enough space with all the crowds.
And yes. Magically link with your bear. Plenty of benefits.
>>53824950
>Shrugs
How's Ritualism been?
>>53824956
I think it has... Holy fuck, it does have arms.
Looks more like a claymore from here. Though...
Wait no. It has both. One in each arm. Hell's Teeth.
>>53824967
Have you seen that land shark?
Gah. This is what I was talking about needing rules. That match-up would be completely different if no weapons were involved.

>>53824967
No, you brought up a valid point Lazurus. We should reopen Petition 804, and see where it goes. You never know what the others think about your department.

Also, isn't 80% of the faculty here male? It wouldn't surprise me if it Sex'o'mancers finally get their wish.

>>53825021
PUT ME DOWN FOR 88 DETHIAN CRYSTAL BALLS, THE LAST SLICE OF WISH GRANTING PIE FROM LAST YEARS BAKESALE, AND A GORGI SILK WIZARD HAT! PUT IT ALL ON THE LANDSHARK WITH ARMS!

>>53824967
>she shrugs
Well thats a relief. I wouldnt want you to lose your rabbit to my bear.

>>53825021
But my bear enjoys himself!
he can handle the cold just fine!

>>53824950
I wonder if I have as well.

>>53825080
I think you should be a little more worries about this year's, Pin-up Calanders.

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>>53825023
Ahem.

>>53824913
Well, perhaps it is a love for cookies in general then as opposed to some link between the two of you.

I suppose the 5th floor would make for a good screening system, though I can't say I'd want to kill potentials.

As for the familiars, yes. Some ghosts and some, erm, more corporeal. I noticed a newly deceased student causing havoc with the 3rd floor plumbing that I traced back to a fallen chandelier on the same floor. The rope had been chewed and happened to fall on him. At first, I thought the vent monsters had migrated, but the bites were totally wrong. Turns out, it was a crocodile bite. On the ceiling. Caught it in the act chewing up another one.

>>53824967
Please do. I've been storing them in room 5B on 3rd floor. By my last count, there were eleven.

>>53825080
As I was saying. It wasn't a witch. Redrobes with Ink magic because apparently I have some kind of rivalry with them now.
>>53825069
...Ha! I can see the Familiar who's taking the bets. It appears to be an owl. That one over there by the keg, can you see it?
>>53825071
So the concept of the bear shooting out cryomancy spells doesn't appeal to you?

>>53825021
Who told you I was in that?
>>53825080
Probably, yes.
>>53825096
What calendars?

>>53825097
Hey! Don't look at me like that! I'm all up for guild teachers wearing bikini robes and all. But that sort of stuff has a time and a place.

The time being, the guild's summer pool party. Otherwise, they should feel free to wear whatever they want!

>>53825113
Mostly the ones with the Archwizard in various poses, and stages of nudity, alongside an assortment of various items. Pointless hats, crotchless bathrobes, one with him having dolphins for nipples. Its really strange.

Although, there are other ones with the facility in them.

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>>53825139
I hate that party

>>53825108
>He'd hand his bet to the owl, before going and taking a seat to watch.

This'll be good!

>>53825105
Hold on a fucking second.
He got murdered by a Familiar?
...This is getting extreme.
>>53825113
You're wearing both name-tags.
>>53825184
Only because you think the pool should be frozen.

>>53825139
How are those a thing?
>>53825167
Ewewewewewewewewew
>>53825193
What? No I'm not.

>>53825108
Not that it isnt appealing! Its just not what I would think my bear would want!
He enjoys swimming though!

>>53825193
Have you seen my ice skating skills? I just want to show off

>>53825108
Oh good grief. Have you talked to Diana? She's good with getting ink and paint out of things.

>>53825113
Anything you want to bring up? Might be able to get a petition for it next meeting.

>>53825139
That will never happen.

>>53825184
Oh yeah, that's right... The last time you were there, you almost melted. Also you came dressed in one of those, "Virgin Killer" sweaters. Didn't you? That was hilarious!

Are the rumors true though? Did you REALLY think it would give you the ability to KILL virgins?

>>53825220
You must me thinking of someone else, I would never be caught dead in a single sweater.
Three layers minimum that is my maxim

>>53825202
Yes, those are a thing. All the female "Sex'O'Mancers" wear them.

It often causes their students to fail though...

Also, I entirely agree with you on the Archwizard pin-up calander. Apparently though, it was him trying to show off his "Summer bod".
>>53825206
You had better hope so, Sam. Otherwise our students test scores, are going to plummet faster than a dragon without wings.

Rolled 8, 16 = 24 (2d20)

>>53825191
>For fun, first roll for the drake, second for the shark. Winner is highest.
Should be interesting.
>>53825203
Probably for fish.
>>53825205
No, I haven't. Also do us a favor and freeze the guild table. I want to see the Familiars fight on environmental hazards.
>>53825206
The problem more lies in the damage we did to the corridors. But yes, I shall have to talk to her.

>>53825241
Uh-huh...

>He'd log onto "Wizzer".

Isn't the this you at last year's summer party?

>>53825206
Ban talking about gross stuff. And also buy more less stupid looking robes.
>>53825263
>The 13 year old gets this LOOK like she is suffering just by existing
Is this your first thread? Don't think I've seen you around before

>>53825278
YES!
WOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!

>He'd go and collect his winnings!

NEVER BET AGAINST THE LANDSHARK WITH A BATTLEAXE! YOU'LL ALWAYS LOSE!

>>53824127
>Huff puff

Late again, damn.
Well, thanks for the help sealing up some of those portals to the various hells lads. The island is looking pretty near healthy, if it weren't for all the mutant fish. Where's the damn booze?

>>53825290
I've been around quite a bit. Just not so much as of late. Business is booming at work, so I'm often working long hours. The only upside, is I'm working outside

>>53825308
I also run "FIELD KIT INSPECTION" as Commissar Knochenmus

>>53825294
..That.
That answers of if these are to the death or not.
The drake is DEAD. Someone call a healer.
>>53825302
Booze is at the keg. The portals were for once, not our mistake.
...Also watch out for the familiars.

>>53825263
Well it's a good thing my summer courses are optional. By the time fall rolls around I can only hope for a cold snap...or move the Guild up north.

That'd work.

>>53825278
Right then.

>>53825290
What's wrong, do you not like the ritualism department robes?

>>53825278
I can do that
BEHOLD THE POWER OF ICE
I SHALL FREEZE THIS TABLE
>>53825281
I have no idea what you are talking about
>>53825328
everyone that also shows up for field kit inspection galactic federation and /dragon/ raise your hands

>>53825193
Well, if it was the intent, then I suppose so. Otherwise I believe it is classified as manslaughter. To my knowledge, three chandeliers have fallen with only one having lethal consequences, so I am inclined to believe that it was unintentional.

>>53825263
There was a Bimbology setup on the 5th floor. Emphasis on was.

>>53825337
I just look better in black and silver is all.
I think.

>>53825335

I suppose it does, doesn't it. I will say that it is unlikely to be 100% that they're all coming back but that some number are.

>>53825337
There been any events in necromancy lately?
>>53825338
Nice!
We need more hazards, maybe rocky terrain?
>>53825354
Phew. Was getting worried.
>>53825379
Although it does seem..
>>53825356
You were right, this is too far. I hadn't thought this was to the death.

>>53825338
field kit inspection and Galactic Federation as Emissary Kovyi of the Vorgel. Haven't don't the dragon ones yet.

I'm pretty sure that's you in the shade over there, wearing a Virgin killer sweater.... Are you SURE you don't want to come clean?
>>53825354
Yeah, those are different departments. Sex'O'mancy has standards. Not alot of them, but more than bimbology!

>>53825337
I doubt that that would stop the Sex'O'Mancers.

>>53825356
Well...talk to Pierre, see if he can be bargained with.

>>53825328
>>53825338
you guys are more than welcome to hang with us, we've got a whole world set up in the Archives if you want more than one thread every other week

>>53825433
You'd be surprised how cold the Northern Barrens can get.

>>53825433
A what killer sweater?
>Asks the 13 year old girl
>Hoo boy
>>53825448
I guess I can try.

>>53825433
THE LAST TIME I WENT OUT WITHOUT THREE LAYERS I LOST AN EYE NEVER AGAIN, ALWAYS THREE LAYERS.
>>53825426
I can do ice spikes....and glaciers....but not rocks

>>53825448
[spoilers] I would go to the archives, but the site you guys use, causes my phone to rest after about five minutes. Also, the pop-ups are terrible. Otherwise I would[/spoiler]

You'd be surprised by how much they enjoy the cold.
It causes things to get rather... Pointed, if you catch my "draft", I mean "drift".

>>53825426

Well, it's a willing thing, right? No one is forcing them to fight to the death, ergo they want to fight to the death. However, some are not remaining dead it seems.

>>53825433

I suppose will concede that point.

>>53825461
Let's just say... It shows more, and less, than the picture of our Archwizard when he had dolphins for nipples, and leave it at that....
>>53825465
I'm like, 98% sure that is you wearing a Virgin killer, and melting....

>>53825529
EEP

>>53825529
http://collabedit.com/6fvae doesn't seem to work

THEN YOU ARE 98 PERCENT WRONG!

>>53825426
>>53825465
Hello? Geomancer right here!

You want rocks? I can do rocks.

>>53825461
I mean...the robes can't be that bad, right?

>>53825488
The lengths some people will stoop to...
thats too bad, though we're trying to get the pop-up thing fixed with the site admin, and loading only the last 10-20 posts should help your phone

>>53825551
we're making a new one, don't worry.

>>53825547
>>53825529
Why are you destroying the innocence of children?
Next you will start trying to convince the young ones I am in fact not Santa.

>>53825572
Well, I mean... Not really...
>>53825584
You're not?!

>>53825572
well, once the issues are fixed, I'd more than likely start showing up a bit more often. When work, 40k, dnd night, and Field Kit Inspection aren't in the way

Yeah, the cold CAN cause parts of the body to lengthen up. Especially when you're wearing bikini robes.

>>53825592
HO HO HO YOUNG ONE I AM IN FACT SANTA
ANYONE WHO TELLS YOU OTHERWISE IN LYING

>>53825584
Last time I checked, you weren't. Santa works on floor 97, for 88% of the year. Also he doesn't look anything like you. I'd know, I had to take a workshop with him last year.

>>53825609
>Awestruck gasp
>>53825613
>Her awestruck gasp is cut off by a pout

>>53825613
>leans in close
don't tell them, santa never leaves that office
let them have their childhood dreams

>>53825601
...I am not having this discussion in front of a thirteen-year old.
>And at the ripe old age herself of...nineteen, Sam is barely much better.

>>53825592
What did they give you, if you don't mind me asking?

>>53825621
Hey, he's only on floor 97. I'm sure you'll be able to see him around soon enough!

>He'd whisper to her.

Sometimes... If you leave a trail of cookies out... He'll sometimes find, and eat them. Before eventually getting stuck somewhere because of the extra weight...a

>>53825633
>He'd barely be any better than Sam, at the unriped age of 21.

Hey, don't blame me when you're forced to walk by her, wearing nothing but bikini robes, in below freezing temperatures!
>>53825626
He sometimes leaves the office!
... sometimes...

>>53825633
Um, well...

You don't wanna know.

>>53825655
...I am going to capture Santa.

>>53825689
A noble quest young one
I am sorry for deciving you but I did not want to crush your dreams
unlike >>53825655 Malikai I do not sup on the tears of children

>>53825681
Not. Happening.

>>53825689
Diana has some measure of control there, she wouldn't let anything that bad go...

...would she?

>>53825689
Well, that's a whole lot off cookies you'll need! Plus he doesn't often leave his office, so there's a good chance you could spend several years trying to capture him this way! You're better off waiting to get presents from him.

>>53825722
Aww, that's lame.
>>53825706
Well, you're at least honest.
>>53825721
I have no idea what happens or why.

>>53825721
>He'd merely shrug.

We'll see~!
>>53825706
I do no such thing!

Plus, this is coming from the guy, who came to last year's pool party DRESSED IN A VIRGIN KILLER!

>>53825721

I am still uncertain as to how something can be considered both robes and a bikini

>>53825746
I SWEAR IF YOU CONTINUE THIS WALL OF LIES I WILL FREEZE YOUR BLOOD FROM THE INSIDE UNTIL NOTHING REMAINS BUT A VERY NICE ICE SCULPTURE

>>53825745
I'll tell you what...

You get an A on your next four tests, and I'll help you catch him, by buying the cookies... Deal?

>>53825762
You seem to forget something, jackfrost, but I'm also trained in elemental Magic's. Ice included.

Plus, a picture is worth a thousand words, soooooooo....

>>53825745
...so you don't even know what your robes look like?

>>53825746
Hey, keep it down you two! If Bob wakes up in going to make sure he eats you two first!

>>53825750
So am I, but given magic is involved I'd rather not be forced into experimental work. Again.

>>53825774
>>53825782
I didn't even GO to last years summer party
I HATE THE SUMMER PARTY

>>53825767
Heck yes.
>Cheers
>>53825782
Right now I'm just tired and confused.
>>53825795
This your first mages thread?

>>53825812
yeah

>>53825837
In that case hi! Always good to see new faces

>>53825782

I'm imagining something that would be highly impractical. Thankfully for my part of the matter, my, erm endowments are not sizable enough for a bikini to be exceptionally flattering.

>>53825863
its ice to be here

I leave for an hour and suddenly they've started some kind of cage match. This is getting ridiculous.
How did they even get that in here?

>>53825916
I like your puns. You think you're gonna come down to the archives with us?

>>53826030
Magic.

>>53826082
as soon as you give me the proper link Im pretty sure ill be in to the fullest extent of my free time

>>53825812
I get that. It's been a long day.

>>53825865
Sounds about right.

>>53826030
...
Yep. Time for me to call it a night.

>>53826126
>She yawns
Yeah...
>>53826095
Awesome.https://archived.moe/rp/last/10/2452/

>>53826030
Fantastically blunt as usual.
>>53826126
Goodnight then.

>>53826246
>https://archived.moe/rp/last/10/2452/
wow so much spam
I take it back Im not going there

>>53826284
Sorry about that. We've got a discord,
so we can at least discuss stuff, are you on phone?

>>53826284
>No adblock? Most archive sites have an abundance of ads.

>>53826314
it blocks addblock

Well Im tired.
I will return
and complain about how hot these chambers are
another time

>>53826337
Sorry about the ads, we're trying to get them dealt with

>Is still here
>Still trying to stop familiars from fighting in spite of being tired

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>>53826639
Okay. Maybe you can tell me why I just came from the office and have eight patients with animal bites, two with rabies symptoms and six nearly-dead critters.
Sorry I haven't been on lately, work's a bitch some weeks.

>>53826665
That's alright
Familiars started a fighting ring.

>>53826681
What? Whose idea was that?

>>53826693
Apparently the familiars started it of their own volition.

>>53826706
That makes no sense whatsoever.
Though it explains why you're so bent out of shape. Did you have one of the wounded?

>>53826741
No, no, Reinforce is a pangolin so she's great at taking care of herself.

>>53826751
I see. It's been a while since I've had to do work on anyone's pet.
And to be honest, I'm not sure how anyone could consider that bear a pet.

>>53826787

Some of them are reanimating in one way or another. I have a few locked in a closet on the 3rd floor.

>>53826787
Mages are crazy, what can I say?

>>53826803
The necromancers are at it again, I assume.
>>53826805
I mean, you could lie. It'd be wrong, but it might make this whole topic a bit less morbid.

>>53826834
I could, but why would I?

>>53826834

I am actually uncertain. Perhaps if they were the familiars of necromancers maybe, though to my knowledge, most necromancer familiars are already unliving.

>>53826853
To be less depressing about this...whatever it is.
I'm still not sure someone didn't put someone up to this.
>>53826877
Also wouldn't surprise me.
...Come to think of it, don't you two both work in undeath yourselves?

>>53826900
Well, someone probably did.

They're betting on it and everything.

And I did. I left for ritualism.

>>53826900

Well, I am a ghost, so technically all my work is in in death. In all seriousness, yes. I believe I was a student of necromancy and then ectomancy before specializing in my own research.

>>53826920
How's that working out for you?
>>53826948
I see. I've noticed there seems to be a number of ghosts about recently.

>>53826998
Not a single direct attempt on my life yet!

>>53826998

Yes. There have been. Maybe it is related to the rising familiars, but more of them have been some form of corporeal undead. Regardless, I try to keep the unruly ghosts in line, which was actually how I came to discover the familiars.

>>53827047
That you focused on that makes me glad I don't touch the necromancy department anymore.
>>53827055
Seems a bit...circular? But oh well.

>>53827107
Err... Right.

>>53827107
Circular how? The student who became ghost was killed by the vandalism of an undead familiar. Beyond that, they're unrelated.

>>53827120
Something wrong?
>>53827151
You made it sound like the ghost population rising was causing the familiars to get antsy, which then created more ghosts. Apologies.

>>53824127
I already have my healing potions sponcered by them, it's great and it makes sure no perminent harm is done.

>>53827168
No, no, nothing, Just bad memories

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This make me happy and I approve !

Nothing like good manly arena fighting to get the blood pumping, HOW DO I JOIN ?

>>53827168

Oh sorry. My mistake then. The familiars set up their own fighting ring, which apparently has caused fatalities. Why they started the fighting, I don't know.

>>53827188
It wasn't that bad, was it?

>>53827188
I see.
>>53827200
Be a mages familiar, it seems.

>>53827204
>>53827218
It was. Very very bad.

>>53827204
Right, then.
>>53827222
Well then it's good you're not there anymore, right?

>>53827204
Fatalities, hmm... I think I can whip up a resurrection potion to help with that ... no not a potion, a little single use trinket, yes that would be way better for this situation.

>>53827218
WHAT !? I don't need to be a familiar in order to punch my familiar !

>>53827266
Yeah... Yeah it is.
>Sighs
I should just go crawl in bed. Bye everyone.

>>53827222

Sorry to hear that then.

>>53827277
Some of them have already entered unlife. I have about a dozen of them locked in closet 5B on the 3rd floor.

>>53827303
Good night.

>>53827303
If you feel unwell, we're always around.
>>53827287
No, but from what I understand that's the requirement to enter the ring.
I won't stop you from trying. But I won't stop them from mauling you.
>>53827277
...I feel incredibly insulted. To have the gall that death is something so easily reversed.

>>53827326
That is a problem, I can cure many ailments with my creations but I can't return something's soul to it's body. I'll leave that to you.
>>53827335
It's not easy at all and only beings that have very recently died can be returned with the use of my creations.

>>53827383
For the right price, I'm sure.
>Hannah scoffs.
You're no better than the charlatains promising elixirs of immortality and hokum like that.

>>53827383

True. That is very much within my power. In fact, I returned the student to his body because he was otherwise messing with the plumbing.

>>53827434
Obviously, why would I I give them away?
>rolls his eyes
The difference between me and them is that my products actually work, I have a thriving business, and the majority of profits go towards finding the guild.
>>53827493
That's good, speaking of pluming can you believe the main lab's plumbing still hasn't gotten fixed yet?

>>53827551

I can, actually. In light of recent events, there may be an undead something or other in the pipes. Perhaps it is stuck.

>>53827551
...you are a fool. And lucky that I'm avowed to do no harm, because otherwise I'd volunteer to kill you if you're so confident it works.
>>53827493
...
And people wonder why I'm so eager to leave.

>>53827434

He makes a valid point. If he gave away potions of immortality to every passerby, then you would be out of a practice. Prices so instill mediation.

>>53827609

I apologize. I figured you would be relieved. I did send him down to the medical wing, though. He had shaggy brown hair and a fractured shoulder blade. Perhaps you saw him.

In either case, I would like to stress that I take death as a serious matter. In this case, he was a fresh corpse and I had the means.

>>53827609
The main problem with Resurrection potions is that they spoil quickly must be used on a patient that has recently died and can turn people into undead abominations if spoiled which is why they are so expensive and rarely used.

>>53827699
>Forgot to readd name

>>53827679
Hmm. I think I remember seeing someone who met that description. But it sounded like you were doing that sort of thing for fun.

>>53827734

Oh no. If I'm being honest, it was more a matter of practicality. He was flooding the place, and his corpse was fresh enough to accept his spirit. If I do such things for fun, it is a willingness from both sides. I assure you.

>>53827879
I see.
Think I'm going to check on him. Good night, Ellen.

>>53827934

Good night, Hannah.

...Well. That's new.

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>>53828046
>He walks in holding a lime green raccoon
Something is new, esteemed Conspiromancer?

>>53828136
I wouldn't worry about it.
>He's acting awfully casual

>>53828169
I'll probably have to at some point, but for now I have to worry about Biter's upcoming match! My goodness you are awfully casual today, milord

>>53828229
>He pulls out a pocket watch and closely watches the time for a few moments
...And time to go.

>>53828250
Good bye then milord, I'm off to the familiar gym that was just established to get Biter in fighting shape! If the Council has need of anything then tell them to select a random artifact from the archives that looks like it will help

>>53824314
Agreed, and half my department has married away to Fareastern Ardormancers and I've no team large enough for a revisitation. I'm certain the familiars can wait.

>Wanders back in
...What's this about marriage?

I'm back, and I made slushies

>>53833773
Ooh, slushies!

Wait, what flavor?

>>53833795
grape

>>53833995
...I'll take it.
>Grabs a slushie
>Attempts to enjoy it
>Immediately suffers brain freeze

>>53834029
Slowly there
If you drink it too fast you'll freeze your brain.
Here warm yourself up with a nice pipe.

>>53834528
>Cringes as she clutches her head
Ah... Pipe of what?

>>53834562
Tobacco of course
here have one of my spares

>>53834585
Um, sorry, I don't wanna smoke. Smells icky.