FIELD KIT INSPECTION! Infinite Stars Edition

>>53744849
Remember men! If you find something that has more spikes or claws than you have teeth. It's usually fine to shoot it at first sight!

>>53744890
Commissar! Request to humbly ignore one of those four rules.
>salutes quickly

>>53744890
Back in action, sir! I was sick with a severe case of Cadian Flu. Let's kill some Genestealers!

>>53744938
Request utterly, and absolutely DENINED, on the threat of SUMMARY EXECUTION!

Especially since I'm unsure as to which rule you're wishing to ignore!

>>53744959
Ah yes, the dreadful "Cadian Flu". I know it well!

I myself caught it three times in one month, back when I was but a Junior Commissar! It was hard to explain to everyone why I needed so much toilet paper...

but yeah, I just started getting sick on Friday...

>>53744849
reporting in sir!

>>53745029
>stuffs markers into an ammo pouch
I completely understand, sir...

reporting sir

a space hulk you say? good time as any to use this new plasma cannon i found, it snagged on a bulk head and dragged some iron with it, and it is now apparently double barreled from the impact

dont worry about exploding, i found a manual explaining how to set it to "safe" fire

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Sir! The rest of my kit melted after fighting the xenos! Sir!

>>53745093
>He'd glare angerly at the Tech-priest. His memories of their recent skirmish still fresh in his mind.

I'll be watching you, Tech-priest... At the first sign of heresy.... BLAM! Your cranium scattered all over the bulkhead...

>>53745098
Good! Because between you, and the regiment's Tech-priests, I'm not sure who too keep an eye on...

Then again, i keep an eye on everybody.

>>53745129
Trooper Ironwall! You'd better not have taken that from somewhere on this ship. Or so help you God-Emperor, I will plaster the bulkheads with your grey matter!

>>53745146
Then I would SUGGEST getting a new kit from Quartermaster Greymane! IF she can spare some time from ATTEMPTING to loot evrrything that isn't bolted down!

>>53745231
you know what I dont have to take this from you. Im a magos, im leaving.

>>53745146
Still, you know what they say!

"A bayonet to a Tyranid's face, is just as good as a lasgun shot to an Astartes chest plate!"

>>53745267
There will be NO retreat Tech-Priest! Neither from you, nor my men!

Besides... Good luck getting anywhere without a ship!

>>53745278
you just need one of those fancy scion lasguns, they can pierce an astartes armor easily

you can win them in the lottery, i won 3 of them myself

>>53745304
sigh....yes Sir

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>>53744849
Sanctioned Psyker reporting in sir!

>>53745231
>looks up from a pair of bolt cutters
Huh?
>stuffs them in a pocket
You don't have to worry about me, Sir!

>>53745384
>He'd begin to scrutinize the regiment's new "psyker". Remaining silent as he does so.

....
....
....
Very well...! But know that should warp overtake you, or your powers get out of hand, I will not hesitate to end your existence! For your own good of course!

>>53745340
Good to see we can came to an agreement!

Now then Magis... Which way is it to the nearest reactor?

>>53745329
I shall have to put a stop to such things, once we are done with our current assignment!

>>53745450
no idea these hulk alway have so much interferance it's impossible to tell where your going

>>53745450
fair enough sir

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>>53745450
Reporting in Sir!

>>53745450
IM BACK PUNNY MAN, WHY IS THERE ANOTHER WITCHY WHITCH?

>>53745494
HELLO COG MAN AXEI AND MEL ARE HAPPY TO TALK TO YOU THEY SAID" WHY DO YOU WANT US TO SUFFER SO?"

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>>53745587
FOR SCIENCE
wouldn't the khornite recognize a greater daemon?

>>53745384
WHY DO YOU LOOK LIKE THAT WITCH?

>>53745494
Great.... Well then, what deck are we on?

>>53745535
What type of psyker are you anyhow? What exactly can you do?

>>53745559
Dammit man! Where do you people keep getting these things from!?

>>53745587
Ah, Captain! It is good to see you have finally arrived!

As for the new psyker. Apparently Command has seen us fit to need one. And I shall not question Command!

>>53745628
he would but that arse hole of an astropath had a metal and blood covered face so he follows that logic to its end, also he cant look in its wepons or meet any demon other than khornate ones

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>>53744849
*reporting back for action commissar rawr*
*hope you killed that heretical tech priest rawr*

>>53745645
according to my auspex and the signs on the walls we are on deck thirteen.
according to the schematics there is no deck thirteen.

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>53745658
NO ONE TOUCHES COG MAN

>axei revs in my rage at the meer thought

lets roll for insight shall we

>>53745628
Yes, yes...

>He'd wave his had in dismissal of the Magos' "Science".

For "Science" and all that. But more importantly, "For the Emperor!"

>>53745629
I don't know, why are you read and covered in spikes and blood astartes?
>>53745645
I KILL PEOPLE WITH MIND BULLETS!

>>53745689

>looks up from a pair of bolt cutters
Huh?
>stuffs them in a pocket
You don't have to worry about me, Sir! Also... Permission to condense their remaining armory into our own?

>>53745689
and dont forget plunder, booty, and shiny new toys

>>53745672
>poking cog man in the side of the head with mel barrel

COG MAN? I THINK THATS A DEMON OF TZEECH. WHY IS THERE A DEAMON HERE?

>>53745694
THE BLOOD OF MY FOES SUSTAINS ME PLANNER, BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD

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>>53745672
*your auspex is shit rawr*
*remember how it almost got the commissar to kill you rawr*

>>53745658
Unfortunately not.... We called it a draw, as Command wanted us to explore, and cleanse this Space Hulk, of whatever infests it's ancient corridors.

>>53745672
Well then, ifnno such deck exists, than we shall have to make it exist!

Magos! Begin mapping out everything as we go!

We'll label this area as.... Decrepit hallway 14, and that room over there, as murder spot 93!

>>53745672
>enters from the stairwell
i could have sworn i was headed to the armory
you really should fix these signs, they all say deck 13

>>53745716
I have no idea but considering he can easily kill us all, maybe we should humor him?
>>53745717
DON'T INSULT THE MACHINE SPIRITS
>>53745758
Yes...sir sigh
>>53745773
I didn't put them up there and Im not gonna touch anything on a deck on a spacehulk where the deck shouldn't exists and might be a illusion of the warp

>>53745700
Permission denied! Who knows what Daemons, or dark secrets the nearby armory holds!

No... Better we cleanse this ship, before touching anything we don't have too...

>>53745717
Exactly, private Hamounds!

>>53745716
DAEMON!?! WHERE!?! OFFENSIVELY DEFENSIVE FORMATIONS! LEAVE IT SMOKING!

>>53745758
MURDER SPOT? WHERE WHERE WHERE? GIVE ME THAT INSULTING BUG AND THE WITCHES AND I WILL MAKE IT A MURDER SPOT. NO HURTS COG MAN NO-ONE

>>53745694
>two voices leap from the chain axe and hell gun at my hip
"greetings brother demon"

>>53745804
>charges "plasma" gun
Where do I shoot sir!?

>>53745804
dont worry sir, i have hot plasma in one hand, and hot laser in the other, and a fully charged power pack on my back

the demon seems to be invisible, it isnt showing on my auspex

>>53745804
I THINK ITS THE NEW WITCHY PYKER. CAN I KILL IT NOW?
>axei revs up to full speed
>>53745802
IT CANT KILL ME EASLY

>>53745804
DAEMON WHERE
I'LL KILL IT WITH MY MIND!

>>53745851
ITS YOU, YOU FAKE WITCH

>if fire off a burst of plasm from mels barrel

>>53745876
we got friendly fire
>readies volley gun and plasma gun
should i keep our spook intact, commissar?

>>53745804
Sir, I've t-taken the liberty to do a cursory scan of the s-surroundings; you'll be p-pleased to hear there's no sign of intelligent life anywhere a-aboard this ship.

>>53745850
>>53745851
>>53745717
>he gawps at the 'new recruit', before looking back over the other 'loyal' 'men' of the unit
One of these d-days the Inquisition is gonna find out about this m-madhouse of a regiment, and we'll all be f-fuckin' crucified.

>>53745893
ITS NOT FRIENDLY IDIOT-THING GUARDSMAN

ITS HURTY HOSTILE
> another bolt of plasma flies at the "pyker"

>>53745893
*kill them all and feast on the remains rawr*

>>53745905
> van kleez hear a whisper in his mind
hmmmm you don't know your a psyker yet do you? your mind is so soft unprotected...I could end it easily.. but I won't...yet....want to play a game guardsman?

>>53745818
...
>slips away down a corridor
I'm not going to be around this...

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>>53745905
*crucifixion is a waste of precious biomass.*

>>53745905
god dammit now I want an inquisitor to come and fail his perception

WHO WILL KILL ME AND COG MAN AND PUNNY MAN

>>53745942
WHOS SPEAKING IN HEADS, MY LORD HATES YOUR WEAK WAYS WITCH DIE

>I run at the demon with my chain axe

>>53745905
Good work Corporal! But just because there isn't any "intelligent" life, doesn't mean that there aren't any pox walkers, or zombies, or Tyranids onboard!

Infact, everyone should have a cyanide round on them, just incase things somehow go bad!

And as for the Inquisition going after ua,. Why would they ever do that? We're entirely loyal, everyone single one of us!

Isn't that right men!

>>53745818

Shoot wherever it is Sergeant! Shoot wherever it is!
>>53745846
Well keep looking! Just because your auspex isn't showing, doesn't mean it isn't there!

Rolled 7 (1d20)

>hacking at the witch, I have a comical fall over when the whitch was infact not to my front but to my right and I have just mutilated a piece of decking

DAMMIT

>>53745893
If the Captain says the psyker is being possessed by a Daemon, then shoot him!

...For his own good of course!

Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>53746012
>rollan to manifest invisablity
Im not possessed! he just hates Psykers
Gonna hide untill he calms down!

>>53746012
>ducktapes a volkite gun to his twin plasma cannon
>fires all 3 barrels at the ceiling to tr
you two need some alone time

Rolled 31 + 30 (1d100 + 30)

>>53746042
>it goes off, rollan for phenomena

>>53746042
come on perception

WHERE IS THE LITTLE BASTARD MAY MY LORD SHOW WHERE THE COWARD HIDES

funnily enough hes not wrong, I'm khornate I hate combat pykers

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>>53745981
*hey boss I found some friends rawr*

>>53746027
you got it sir
>begins firing his volley gun and plasma gun wildly from the hip

Rolled 20 + 20 (1d100 + 20)

>>53746065

Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>53746059
>banshee howl: a deafing keening sounds out for a kilometer deafing everyone in the area for 1d10 rounds

>>53745942
>he looks around, scowling
Who said that? One a' you gobshites t-trying something funny?

>>53745964
I think you and I have very *cough* different views on how t-to use, uh, 'biomass'. I prefer it, y'know, undigested.
>he glances at the hollering berserker
Well, depending on who the b-biomass belongs to, that is.

>>53745981
>he mutters under his breath
Emprah be praised if we find a single one of us who IS loyal...

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>>53746027
Hey Sir! Look what I found!

>>53746091
*not me rawr*

>>53746091
> laughing with a manic fervor I look around despite the almost defening ring in my ears

WHERE ARE YOU LITTLE WITCH WHERE ARE YOOUUUU???
>each repeated question punctuated with a hit to the walls, floor or air that I can reach

>>53746104
ironicly this might be one of the most loyal and effective units in the imperium. you just need to get the priest under control

>>53746138
>yelling over wild firing and psychic screaming
nice suit you got there, it looks like the armor i found in the basement

>>53746138
ASTATES? MURDER TIME YOU FILTHY ULTRASMURFS, THE VOICES IN THE WARP CALL YOU ULTRASMURFS AND SO SHALL I

Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>53745945
Let's see... now that they're all busy killing the demon...
>starts searching for a still powered terminal

>>53746183
why don't you go kill the daemonette on deck 66?

Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>53746216
he would but hes deafend for the next minute or so

WHERE ARE YOU PYKER?

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>>53746203
*let me help you with that rawr*

Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>53746229
>manifesting forget me

>>53746216
>catching a scent of the warp, I spin there is that vial mutant

DIE PYKER
>charging with a bull rush at the disgused demon, I hope I hit it

get better than 5 to step out the way

Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>53746252
rolling for phenomena
>>53746254
you just forgot I exist

Rolled 71 (1d100)

>please don't forget the witch

>landing stuck in the wall I curse

Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>53746229
*stop fighting rawr*

Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>53746269
5 +30=35 = breath leech
everyone is now out of breath and can't run or charge
>the forget only lasts for 1d10 minutes

Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>53746238
Private... uhhh.... Go help the Commissar find that vile demon... I need to uhh... find a bathroom and a working terminal to find it.
>hurries off to find a working one

PUNNYMAN, COG MAN IM STUCK, COME GET ME OUT PLEASE

>>53746269
khornate have resistance to pyker bullshit thanks to the choler of khorn cant stop things that don't toch me though

>>53746327
could you please stop trying to kill our sanctioned psyker?
your making him use his powers to not die and on a hulk its only a matter of time before he explodes into a million nurglings?
DO YOU WANT NURGLES ROT?
I DONT WANT NURGLES ROT!

>>53746327
>sets his twin plasma cannon to supercharge
let me blast the wall off of you, stand still
>fires his cannon

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FUCKING KEK! I leave for ten minutes to finish painting a heavy bolter marine, and i come back to find the regiment killing each other because Knochenmus thought someone had spotted a Daemon.

I couldn't be more proud of you all! *Sniffle*

>>53746368
hopefully this cannon doesnt overheat

>>53746365
I HAVE ARMOUR COG MAN, BUT NO COG MAN I DONT WANT NURGALS RO- OWWWW
>>53746368
>I jump around clutching my blisteing hot arm

OWWWWW THAT HURT....BUT THANKS FOR GETTING ME OUT

>>53746380
all we need now is the resident inquisitor, you know what fuck it if MUR dies or leaves for a while I am being a fucking inquisitor

>>53746415
ok im patching you up but please don't provoke our "pysker" I don't want to know what hell do when he feels like he has no choice but to fight back

>>53746308
>starts typing into a half cracked terminal
Hmmm...deck thirteen... seems to be a warp phenomenon in itself... logs show it showing up a few times...
>lets see... warp drive is cracked but power seems good...
Okay... what can I do from here... Open Airlocks... lucky he didn't approve... power to elevators. Yes. I need those.

>>53746437
BUT COG MAAAAAAANNNNNN, I WANT TO SPLIT HIS SKULL. AND HE SAID SOMETHING ABOUT SLANNESHI.

>I glare at the pyker
WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT SLANESHII?

>>53746415
oh please god no! That's a bad thing to do! A very, VERY bad thing to do!

>Knochenmus would watch the chaos around him unfold, as the regiment begins to slowly tear itself apart.
>His eye would twitch erratically, as his grip tightens around the grip of his Bolt pistol. As he proceeds to "BLAM" the new psyker, in an attempt to restore order to the regiment.

There we go!

Now the rest of you! FORM UP, OR YOU'LL END UP LIKE HIM!

>>53746495
sir, sorry for blowing a bulkhead, i didnt have a crowbar

>>53746495
YES PUNNY MAN
>my tone like a scolded childs as I grab the bug and the scavenger and toss them into line

GET IN LINE OR I WILL DISEMBOWL ANY OUT OF IT

>I shoot a line into the floor for them to stand on
NOW

>>53746495
>Radios into the commissar
Sir. I found a working security terminal and I got the elevators working. It seems this floor is a warp phenomenon and doesn't actually exist. We might want to get off it.

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>>53746495
Sir! I found an Ice Cream dispenser! Permission to distribute frosty treats to the whole squad.

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>>53746495
*commissar I found some friends rawr* *what do you think rawr* *also I was ordered to help you find a daemon rawr*

Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>53746495
>>53746488
>as the daemon demanifests hes gonna cast boon of mutation and see if can't turn the khornite smart via tzeentch pyskic bullshit

>>53746547
>exits from an elevator
sorry to report that the elevator only ever goes to this floor

the service hatch also leads to this floor

Rolled 27 + 50 (1d100 + 50)

>>53746581
welp thats a perils

Rolled 1 (1d5)

>>53746595
67
LMAO THATS THE SUMMOING A LESSER DAEMON PERIL.
so the speel goes off
rolling for what kinda of daemons
1 Kh
2 Nur
3 Slan
4 Tze
5 Mal

>>53746584
Then there's an easy way to fix that
>smirks behind the skull-like gasmask
show me the elevator you came up.

>>53746567
>smacking the4 icecream with my activated chainaxe I scream

GET IN LINE OR YOU ARE NEXT

>>53746584
YOU ASWELL

>>53746581
[I told you before, I can resist. I just need 80 or higher]

>>53746567
Permission granted trooper! Just so long as it isn't "Heresy" flavoured! Or raisin.... Blech!
>>53746519
Dammit man! What are you, from a Feral world!?

>>53746547

Good job Sergeant!
>>53746567
It seems the Ice cream will have to wait until later, as it is Indeed "Heresy" flavour...!

ALL TROOPS, TO THE ELEVATORS! AE SHALL PURGE THIS VESSEL OF ITS VILE INHABITANTS IN THE NAME, OF OUR GLORIOUS EMPEROR!

>>53746609
A bloodthirster of khorne has just burst out of the warp

Rolled 68 + 20 (1d100 + 20)

>>53746609
HAHAHAHAHAHA]

>>53746636
>>53746634
>>53746609
TOP FUCKING KEK

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>>53746609
*i don't like the new guy rawr*

>>53746634
you guys see this too, i think i have been breathing too much plasma fumes

>begins firing his jury rigged volkite
taste righteous fury you red cow

>>53746622
look out sir, we got company
doint bother with the elevator, it takes us back here

>>53746634
> looking at my new challenger, I grin a feral grin

STEP BACK HES MINE. OI YOU WASTE OF WARP STUFF
>axi revs back up, and I march towards him

LETS DUAL YOU WEAKLING

>>53746622
IM FROM A FERAL WORLD

>>53746634
*blood thirsters are a greater daemon rawr*
*he summoned a blood letter rawr*

>>53746685
fuck your right sorry

Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>53746634
THE CLEANSING OF THIS VESSEL, SHALL BEGIN WITH YOY, DAEMON! FOR THE EMPEROR!

>He'd begin firing bolter rounds into the blood thruster of Khorne!

>>53746672
>walks into the elevator and pulls the panel off, a pink spark jumping between hand and wire before the power flickers and she pulls out a wire
There. It'll work. They had a device to stop this but the logs said it frequently got stuck here We should be good now.

Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>53746634
>>53746717
FOR THE MACHINE GOD!
>hot shot lazgun time

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Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>53746717
*its fine look rawr*

Rolled 41 + 20 (1d100 + 20)

>>53746717
>>53746739
>>53746672
GET IN THE ELEVATOR, I WILL PURGE THIS WEAKLING

>>53746634
I hope you roll opposed, in a above system 1d100+20

>>53746773
?

>>53746773
*i'm in the elevator, there's only size for 3 others due to my completely normal size of 3 men standing on top of each other rawr*

Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>53746634
HOLY EMPEROR FUCKING RUN
>he bolts for the elevator, snapping occasional shots over his shoulder from his hellpistol

>>53746732
Y-You know, I should probably b-be more concerned about whatever you *cough* just did, but for now...
>he jumps in and starts mashing the 'close doors' button
ANYONE ELSE WANTIN' OUTTA THIS, PILE IN, YA GOT 10 SECONDS!

>>53746789
you summoned the bastard you play him with combat, 1d100 vs my roll of 1d100

>>53746819
*only room for one more, it's just me and you at the moment rawr*

>>53746819
I'M GONE

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>>53746813
Is there enough room for me in the elevator?

>>53746833
according to the rules he will demanifest in 5 4 3 2 1 he vanishes as you attack

>>53746839
*the elevator leaves the floor with myself, the corporal and cogboy*
*rawr*

>>53746819
COWARD! YOU SHALL STAND YOUR GROUND, OR BECOME AN EXAMPLE TO OTHERS!

>>53746842
* too late rawr*
*catch the next one rawr*

>>53746842
Gobels... We'll take the next one...
>shuts the door with Van Kleez and Hamounds inside

>>53746859
>>53746819
corporal have you read the book yet?

>>53746858
>looking at my axe as the blade hits nothing to the beasts laughter before disappearing, my blood rage hits a new high

GIVE. ME. SOMETHING. TO. KILL

>I begin smashing through a wall, then in defiance of the laws of physics come through the opposite wall

>>53746897
COWARDS! I SHALL HAVE SOMEONES HEAD FOR THIS!

>>53746864
>>53746914

the others are bolting for the elevator sir

looks like we gotta hold our ground till the next one comes

>continues firing his jury rigged volkite
damn these combi weapons last much longer

Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>53746914
rolling for perils of being on deck thirteen as it doesn't exists and is a psychic phenomenon

>>53746944
all glass shatters

>>53746914
CAN I TAKE THE HEAD AND GIVE IT TO YOU?

>I continue to basht through walls, the floor and the ceiling some how

>>53746937
YOUR WASTING AMMO YOU IDOIT

>>53746914
Commissar. There's something you should know...
>pulls out a warp energy detector
A demon was recently summoned to the ship. If we get to the warp core we can do an emergency shut down and most likely purge it and any warp presence on the ship.
>steps into another elevator
This way Sir

>>53746959
sorry sir, I got swept up in the excitement

>carefully tries to fit himself, his weapons, and his power backpack into an elevator
careful, just gonna scooch in

Rolled 6 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>53746968
*talking impressively on vox*
*Commissar, I am the emperor of mankind rawr* *promote private hamounds rawr*
*he was forced to go on the elevator by the traitorous cogboy rawr*

>>53746881
>>53746819
AHHHH THIS DECK IS DECK THIRTEEN AS WELL! THEY ARE ALL DECK THIRTEEN

>>53746968
WHAT WAY DO WE GO?

>my blood rage fades and I'm back down to angery marines levels of annoyance

I WILL MEET YOU THERE

>I begin punching through the deck to get to cog man

>>53747024
the stairs are haunted too, they lead back here, so don't bother
unless the stairs have a machine spirit you can appease

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>>53747036
Don't worry Captain, I'll provide support with this gun I found.

>>53747109
IF YOU FIND ANY MORE THINGS, I MIGHT HAVE TO TAKE A HAND, COMMISAR APPROVING THIS SMELLS FISHY

>then I blink and think about what I said, that sounded. Slightly above barbaric

>>53747091
FUCK THIS SHIT! IVE GOT A MULTI METLA WERE BLASTING THROUGH THE WALLS UNTIL WE FIND THE COMMISSAR

>>53747036
>watches him tear through the floor
...
>holds elevator close button

>>53747109
Gobels... Please get in the elevator....

>The Commissar, having cut a swath through the ship with his Thunderhammer, would be mumbling angerly to himself.

-Damn those regimental DOGS! -*Mumble mumble*... -teach them to be cowards in the line of -"mumble mumble...* - execute an entire company- *mumble mumble*- ... -make them fear my wraith!

>He'd angerly bash in the head of a termagaunt, as it leapt at him, with his Thunderhammer!

Quiet foul XENO! You shall be purged like everything else!

>>53747269
>She'd hit her comms
Sir... You're transmitting again... also can you clear out the corridor to your left? I

>>53747269
sir, I thought you had been lost

looks like cogboy had the right idea, we have to blast out the walls to get out

>fires his twin plasma cannon to cut through a wall
don't try this at home, kids

File: You_Doodle_2017-06-11T18_17_40Z.jpg (903KB, 768x1024px) Image search: [Google]

903KB, 768x1024px

>>53747269
*please review those new recruits I found earlier rawr*
*they are very loyal rawr*

File: Elevator.png (161KB, 593x307px) Image search: [Google]

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>>53747162
alright

>>53747343
Gobels... This makes me like you the most.
>the elevator stops and the doors open
Commissar is around 50 yards that way... Can you walk through that wall?

>>53747374
>a blast of plasma bursts out of the floor, and a trooper rises out of from the hole
finally got out of the accursed deck 13

>>53747294
>A carefully chucked frag grenade down the requested hall, followed by an fiery explosion, and more mumbling, would be the end of the group of Genestealers hiding in its shadows.

*Mumble mumble, angry mumbles*

>>53747405
...Do people not like elevators...
Commissar!!
>she screams into the comms

>>53747405
>>53747374
>the cogboy climes out using mechadendrites
Hi guys!

nice mark VII power amour guardsman

>>53747374
>dropping down onto the commissar, I quickly get up and drag him to his feet

SORRY PUNNY MAN, I MENT TO MISS YOU, ANYWHO LET US PURGE

>>53747441
the elevator was haunted, this was much faster
the stairs were also haunted, so dont look at me

File: PowerFist.png (105KB, 640x400px) Image search: [Google]

105KB, 640x400px

>>53747374
I can with this Power Fist I just found

>>53747435
>walks towards the explosion with the "plasma gun" at the ready
Sir. There's a set of blast doors between us and engineering.

>>53747463
Mr. uhhh... you. Purge all on the otherside of that blast door.
>points to a rather large and thick door

>>53747485
You are good to keep around.

>>53747485
at this point I am wondering when you will produce the marine inside

>yelling over my back as I pepper the tyrandid 'stealers position for the commissars leisurely killing of them, I grin in manic delight

GROUP UP AT MY POSITION, DOUBLE TIME IT

>then I charge the requested door. "why am I speaking like this? wait why am I thinking like this?

>>53747506
>readies his jury rigged volkite
thats a big door
>>53747533
you murder them, I keep them off your back

File: You_Doodle_2017-06-11T18_33_14Z.jpg (903KB, 768x1024px) Image search: [Google]

903KB, 768x1024px

>>53747533
*they are allies you fool rawr*
*look at their helmets rawr*

>>53747544
AGREED RAGHHHHHHH

>>53747575
KLL OR BE KILLED BUGMAN

>the elevator dings and he stumbles out, scrambling towards the nearest sign
Four...Fourteen? T-Thank the Emperor...

>>53746903
>he looks slightly sheepish
Ah, w-well, about that... I ran out of rolling papers the other day, and I still had some mankweed left over... I'm sure you c-can understand.

>>53747544
A-Alright, you gentlemen breach into the horrible, horrible unknown, and I'll, uh, provide moral support. From back here. Go team!

>>53747506
> upon hearing of this, the Commissar would proceed to cast "Thunderous smite" upon the door. Bashing it until it would open up.

Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>53747645
*look closely rawr*

>>53747681
*holyshit.gif natural 20 rawr*

>>53747678
COMMISAR PUNNY MAN, I RECOMEND THIS BLAGGARD TO SUMMARY EXECUTION....WHY AM I SAYING BIG WORDS?

>axei and mel shiver as the demons within laugh themselves to tears

>>53747659
>angry binary screeches
good thing I have it on my data slate
and can print out anther
>throws tome at high speed at his face
>>53747706
ITS WORKING

>>53747678
Commissar. Nids behind. I'll deal with the core.
>strides into the room looking at the massive reactor
Terminal... I'm going to need to get to the manual override...
>climbs a set of stairs to the repair deck

File: XenoWeapon.png (123KB, 640x400px) Image search: [Google]

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>>53747678
Sir! I found a Xeno weapon, what should I do with it?

>>53747738
*hello there sergeant rawr*
*i am afraid I cannot allow you to access the core rawr*

>>53747715
MAKE IT STOP COG MAN MAKE IT STOP DESIPLE OF THE DAR-
>a short explosion blocks out my words

>>53747678
I nod at the commissar and grunt in respect

you have earnt murs respect and loyalty just like cog boy

>>53747769
NOT TODAY 'NID
ITS HELLGUN TIME

>>53747756
Gobels... Please distract Private Hamounds.
>climbs a ladder to the repair deck

Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>53747796
*nid? I am afraid it is you who is the tyranid rawr*
*i am a loyal soldier of the four armed emperor rawr*

Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>53747827
Just eat a tachyon arrow and shut up

Rolled 91 + 20 (1d100 + 20)

>>53747827
> marching up behind the beast, I smack the fool around the head with what appears to be a bisected lichtor

DIE BUG, YOU HURT COG MAN. I KILL YOU

File: You_Doodle_2017-06-11T18_57_24Z.jpg (903KB, 768x1024px) Image search: [Google]

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>>53747851
*falls unconscious rawr*

File: Distraction.png (104KB, 640x400px) Image search: [Google]

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>>53747821
I'll try my best sarge
>>53747827
Hey, Hamounds! Want to play this game I just found?

>>53747851
>>53747827
>>53747889
>>53747896
>Walks to the scene
>Points his face at the daily proceedings of infighting
>Produces a Nutri-Slurry and begins to noisily drink it through a straw

>>53747923
*still sleepy rawr*
*sure why not rawr*

>>53747756
USING XENO WEAPONARY!

>The Commissar's eye would twitch wildly, before he'd proceed to cast "Thunderous smite" upon the private, with his Thunderhammer.

>>53747851
mechanicum priest of indeterminate loyalties, may we rend this ones soul from the corpse?"

>the question dances from axei, but mimicked by mel and MUR

KILL THING NOW?

>>53747821
>types into a terminal and looks around
Oh... he's almost dead.
>>53747923
Gobels I think you're the best one here. Also may I have that weapon you found?
>walks towards the core as a door opens

>>53747948
Commissar he didn't break a rule. He didn't keep it for himself.

>>53747940
hey astropath have you met our sanctioned pysker>>53745384
?
>>53747949
naw just cut his synapse out so he cna't control his swarms

>>53747940
>I bury the chainaxe at ful rev in thebeasts neck, taking the head from body and clawing the skull from flesh

FINALY AN OFFERING TO MY LORD

>I then turn and throw it at the astropath
>>53747933

>>53747948
*cogboy used a tachyon arrow don't pretend you give a shit about using xeno weaponry rawr*

>>53748001
STOP TALKING DEAD HEAD

>I pound the corps some more and sigh in happiness

File: ThatWasClose.png (92KB, 425x307px) Image search: [Google]

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>>53747948
Good thing I was wearing this power armor. I appreciate that you're eager to test your weaponry Sir, but maybe you should test it on something other than your own soldiers

>>53747982
... Well, I would say I have now seen him but I am blind.
>>53747992
>Leaps out of the way
>The nails holding the metal plate over his eye sockets, nose and forehead move as he lands face first, prompting a gush of blood
WHOA! That could have hit me, you know!

File: You_Doodle_2017-06-11T19_08_20Z.jpg (571KB, 768x1024px) Image search: [Google]

571KB, 768x1024px

>>53747992
>>53747992
*you turn and notice one of the nearby tyranid rippers evolving rapidly in the hive into a fully fledged swarmlord.*
*complete with commissar hat rawr*

>>53747978
>Walks into the core, pink and red sparks jumping at her. She flips a switch after the he warp core has powered down.
Sir. The core is down...

Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>53748108
hotshot lazpistol and shoot the hat off

>>53748108
>With his rage having subsided for the moment. The Commissar would let out a heavy breath.

Alright... I think it's MOSTLY out of m-

>He'd stare at the creature, wearing a Commissar hat. His rage suddenly flooding back.

IMPERSONATING A COMMISSAR!? HOW DARE YOU!!

>He'd begin smashing the Thunderhammer Into the creature's head, repeatedly; until all that was left, was a bloody pulp.

>>53748108
YOU CHEEKY BUGGER, ILL HAVE TO TEACH YOU MYSELF

>>53748103
THATS THE POINT ASSHOLE, NOW DO AS I SAY AND SUBDUE THIS FUCKING TRYANID
>>53748194
NEVERMIND

>>53748185
*i will have you court marshalled for the heresy of trying to kill a commissar tech-priest rawr*
*Knochenmus, get over here rawr*

may i help someone with theological support ?

>>53748231
how many tachyon arrows do you think is excessive?

File: You_Doodle_2017-06-10T19_25_34Z.jpg (485KB, 768x1024px) Image search: [Google]

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Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>53748194
*another ripper in the distance mutates, once again generating the swarmlord once more rawr*
*enough of this shit.gif rawr* rolls bluff

Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>53748252
>Rolling against

>>53748241
at tachyon arrow can pierce the heart of a mountain
the answer is probably ten
why do you ask that ?

>>53748241
*using xeno weaponry is heresy. Execute him commisar*
*rawr*

>>53748270
I brought twenty

>>53748280
give me ten and i won't tell

Rolled 5, 3, 1, 2, 1, 2 = 14 (6d6)

>>53748269
*fuck this rawr*
Rolling to hit commisar.

>>53748231
YOU COG BOY, I WANT THIS TYRANID PUT UNDER CONTROL NOW. OR SO HELP THE OMNISIA YOU WILL BE UNRECONGNISABLE AS A SEVITOR.

>>53748241
NO SUCH THING COG MAN, AIM FOR THE FORWARD SKULL IT HOLDS THE SYNAP- STOP IT OTHER HEAD

>>53748252
I..AM...PISSED

>as my rage grows shimmering black orbs begin to twist and swirl around my being. sickening blue and red mix in the darkness as I run at the beasts killing most of the lesser beings in my stride towards the swarm lord

BY MY LORD DIE

Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>53748252
>>53748269
A TYRANID!? DISGUISED AS A GUARDSMAN!? THE AUDACITY!

YOUR KIND SHALL NOT INHABIT THIS SHIP MUCH LONGER, FIEND!

>Thunderous execution!

Rolled 4, 6, 3, 1 = 14 (4d6)

>>53748294
4 hits. Rolling to wound

Rolled 6, 5, 4, 3, 2 = 20 (5d6)

>>53748291
sweet.
>>53748295
lazpistol fire!

Rolled 16, 28 + 40 = 84 (2d100 + 40)

I will grant anyone a favour in character who can guess whats happening to mur.
also rolling to kill this fucker and protect the commisar

Rolled 3, 5, 5 = 13 (3d6)

>>53748317
3 wounds roll for damage

>>53748204
>>53748295
Maybe this will turn out entertaining after all...
>>53748299
>>53748317
>>53748334
>>53748339
>Sips Nutri-Slurry while laying on the ground

>>53748317
it's just a d20... But I suppose we could use 8th edition rules? Is everyone ok with this?

Rolled 6, 5, 1, 3 = 15 (4d6)

>>53748334
4 hits rolling to wound
>>53748339
tzeentch daemons are making him smart

>>53748343
Commisar takes 13 wounds, losing 2 limbs and his hat.

Rolled 7 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>grabbing the lounging astropath, I try to smack the gaunts away from the commissar, stopping a single wound

>>53748359
yes but not what I was after

Rolled 3, 1, 2 = 6 (3d6)

>>53748359
rolling for dmg
3 wounds

>>53748365
he gets a +2 to inv saves

Rolled 3, 6, 4 = 13 (3d6)

>>53748387
Rolling to save on armour

Rolled 4 (1d6)

>>53748385
to wound

>>53748387
I take no wounds, it bounces off my chitinous plating

>>53748365
>>53748385
>>53748387
now let's hang on a second here. We're using D20's for attacks alright? Gotta keep this simple.
11+ hits, with a higher number = worse damage.
10 and under is nothinf

>>53748438
fuck this shit
TACHYON ARROWS GO

Rolled 7 (1d20)

>>53748440
[right okay, lets start this here now, because we seem to be using 3 different systems, to hit]

>>53748398
Are you saying he has a +2 to his regular invuln save, giving him a 5+ or are you saying he has a 2+ invuln? Because no way a commisar has a 2+ invuln

>>53748456
Now it's getting interesting!
>Tries to sip more of his liquid meal only to realize there is no more left
Darn.

Rolled 71, 45, 79, 90, 9, 34, 65, 93, 78, 85 = 649 (10d100)

>>53748456
needing to roll under 60 for each tachyon arrow

>>53748473
Ok, you resolve your attacks, then me, then cogboy then commisar? Agreed?

Rolled 19 (1d20)

>missing the giant creature I roar in frustration
WHY WONT YOU DIE?

PYKER >>53748490
GET OVER HERE OR IM TAKEING YOUR SKULL

rolling to pin

File: PizzaRolls.png (110KB, 640x400px) Image search: [Google]

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Who wants PIZZA ROLLS?!

Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>53748509
need under 90 to manifest WARP LIGHTNING

>>53748525
hey i could use some

>>53748521
Wait if I'm using the d20 do I roll one attack at a time or all at once? And how many attacks do I have?

>>53748525
Gobels. May I borrow that powerfist you found, please?

>>53748475
they have a 5+ he is getting +2 to that so a 3+

>>53748541
Not your turn I'm pretty sure.

>>53748541
>taking a minute to look at the manifestation I growl,
HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU NOT DEAD?

>>53748557
you have two arms so two, have fun or beat my roll to escape

use ctrl+s to type in spoilers

>>53748525
Me!
>>53748521
Eh, why would I? Its so enjoyable to just witness this.
>>53748541
>his face contorts, and while it is hard to determine as only his mouth and chin is visible from behind his mask, it's a safe bet he is expressing extreme disgust

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>>53748541
seven degrees of successes means make 7 toughness rolls each one you fail rolls on the critical table
>>53748594
ive been here the whole time invisible laughing my ass off

Rolled 6, 18, 12, 13 = 49 (4d20)

>>53748594
4 arms actually so 4 dice
Rolling to beat your roll

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>>53748560
Sure, here you go.

>>53748617
ILL KILL YOU AFTER

Rolled 1, 3, 4, 5, 2, 2, 2 = 19 (7d6)

>>53748617
Rolling to not be hurt

Rolled 85, 63, 65, 76, 58, 96, 62 = 505 (7d100)

>>53748656

>>53748683
I have a breath stolen from me on the failure table.

>>53748617
I love you too and tzeentch love you as well pysker man

>>53748718
[how many do I have to roll on the sheet?]

>>53748640
Thank you Gobels. I'll issue you extra rations.
>puts it on and flexes it
We should help kill the Nid. Commissar would like that.
>aims the Necron plasma gun at the Nid.
Firing
+5 for aiming down on it

>>53748731
every one you fail but I hit the nid

Rolled 3 (1d20)

>use the fist of Ryza on Hamounds

ATATATATA

Rolled 19, 15 + 5 = 39 (2d20 + 5)

>>53748741

Rolled 3, 12, 2, 1, 15, 19, 16 = 68 (7d20)

>>53748684
Rolling to attack you

Rolled 7, 8, 5, 4, 1, 7, 7 + 2 = 41 (7d10 + 2)

>>53748744
rooling for how fucked I am

>>53748525
Ooh, me! Me!
>he takes a handful and begins shoving them into the air intake on his respirator

>>53748612
>he leans over and mutters
$5 on the World Eater.

Rolled 17, 3, 4, 18 = 42 (4d20)

>>53748762
4 hits wounding on 5+

>>53748771
I DIDN'T HIT YOU!

>>53748771
Take d6 damage for each wound immediately

Rolled 1, 5 = 6 (2d20)

>>53748779
>dropping to the floor, I spit a curse at the bastard,
LETS SEE HOW WELL MY FRIENDS DO, RANTHELTO

rolling to open a dimension door and kick you through it, above ten for success
>>53748787
you said all, and I was pinning the bastard

Rolled 2, 1 = 3 (2d6)

>>53748811
okay, and my last roll, HAHAHAHAHA

>the tzeechian sorcery fails and I collapse in exaustion

>the totaly not a daemon pats the astropath on the head and then vanishes again

Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>53748827
I narrowly escape being banished from this plane and charge at the commissar
Rolling charge distance, 6+ for success

I need to go to sleep now so this is my last post for to night, same time next week?
>collapsing to the ground I manage a guttered curse of feth and fall unconscious, axei falling from my grasp

File: FireSupport.png (112KB, 640x400px) Image search: [Google]

112KB, 640x400px

>>53748741
Don't worry I shall provide fire support with this plasma gun I found

>>53748869
>Looks like he had eaten an agri-world's yearly worth of sitrus fruits

Rolled 13, 13, 12, 14 = 52 (4d20)

>>53748901
>Fires several more shots from the Necron Plasma gun
Hey big guy!

Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>53748901
Yep!
>>53748876
>The Commissar would find himself being charged at by the beast.
>Tightening his grip upon his thunder hammer, he would attempt to make a direct swing with it, into the foul Xeno's skull.

Rolled 14, 16, 1, 7 = 38 (4d20)

>>53748938
Enraged by the searing of flesh and chitin off of my back I charge raging at the gunner sergeant
15+ to avoid taking damage

Rolled 4, 16, 13 = 33 (3d20)

>>53748969
Angered I split my attacks at both of you
3 into the commissar

Rolled 11, 3 = 14 (2d20)

>>53749016
Wounding on a 5+

Rolled 1 (1d6)

>>53749034
d6 damage

>>53748999
Suck it.
>stands on a walkway high above the "guardsman"

Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>53749048
Rolling for effect

>>53748969
The attack does incredible damage, almost killing you outright.

Rolled 2, 1 = 3 (2d6)

>>53749066
Casts catalyst on self

Rolled 4, 16, 9, 15 = 44 (4d20)

>>53749180
No spells for you

Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>53749132
Ah shit, g-guess it's all hands on deck then.
>he aims and fires a shot at Hamounds' face
There, I contributed. Now if the C-Commissar snuffs it, I'm not responsible.

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>53749222
Thoroughly enraged and almost dead I decide to make a tactical retreat, with one of the commissars arms in tow for a light snack

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Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>53749264
>>53749308
Might as well do my part...
>Fires his flintlock pistol at Hamounds as he retreats

Rolled 19, 14 = 33 (2d20)

>>53749308
>fires twice more at him

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>53749331
It finds a crack in my armour somehow, damaging me. Rolling to escape

Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>53749384
rollan under 60 for my tachyon arrow

>>53749359
Taking 2 more massive hits I evacuate the hulk and away from combat entirely.

>>53749404
we have to retreat !
it may call it's hive fleet once it's gone

>>53749438
yeah, also i pretty sure those arrows hit something important
can't you hear the self destruct alarm going off?

File: MEME.jpg (362KB, 1000x515px) Image search: [Google]

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AYYYY, commissar i was in the underdeck setting a Nurgling in his white throne if you catch my drift, i'm late? Whats goin on in ere... oh shit

>>53749438
>hops down
That fleet would take years to arrive. Now,
>picks up the Commissar
I pull rank on you. get me a private room and let no one enter.

>>53749492
we would need yearq to prepare then

>>53749512
Guard this room. We'll leave in a little while. Gather all the tech you can
>>53749492
>>53748969
>carries him into a nearby room and lays him on the table
I'll start surgery
>slams the door and locks it tightly

Sorry I've been away for so long. As stated earlier, I'm a bit under the weather right now.

Well... With that out of the way, does anyone have any spare silver?

>>53749479
Warning, ship has suffered critical existence failure. Secondary reactor going into meltdown. Hull integrity compromised. Escape pods will automatically deploy within 19:59 minutes

>>53749545
Emperor damned BUGS!
>He'd cough up a bit of blood.

I guess it's just another fresh batch of scars.

File: ThisIsTurningIntoAClusterfuck.png (357KB, 640x480px) Image search: [Google]

357KB, 640x480px

BY THE POWER OF GREYSKULL!

>>53749581
>>53749586
SIR WE NEED TO GO NOW

>>53749545
>>53749581
sergeant we don't have much time
we need to go now !

>>53749622
>>53749581
Well, considering th-*Cough, Splatter!* circumstances, I belie- *cough*- ve now WOULD be a very good time t- *cough* go...

If we can get back to deck seven, we should still be docked with the Strike Crusier, "Faith Of Terra".

>>53749581
Hmm... That is troublesome...
>Tries to follow the troopers

>>53749698
Hull integrity failing. Tertiary and secondary bulkheads will close in 5:59 standard Terran units.
Self destruction in 12:43 Terran units.

FOLLOW ME ILL BURN OUR WAY OUT WITH THIS MELTA

>>53749779
just go in the escape pod

>>53749698
>Walks out buttoning her shirt back up
Sir~ Let's get going~

File: LetsGetOutOfHere.jpg (68KB, 557x404px) Image search: [Google]

68KB, 557x404px

>>53749698
We should be able to get there much faster with this Rhino I found sir!

>>53749804
not the time gobels

>>53749804
brilliant idea guardsmen GO GO GO GO

>>53749796
Please recover the corpses of all fallen soldiers before exiting the hulk. Unattended chaos space marines will not be recovered automatically and may perish in a fiery inferno in 9:43 Terran units.
Have a nice day

>>53749878
I've got the astartes run run urn

>>53749796
>He'd follow along behind her. A rather curious expression on his face.

>>53749892
>run behind cogboy

File: Ark_Mechanicus.jpg (222KB, 910x519px) Image search: [Google]

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THERES THE SHUTTLE GET IN

>>53749931
>she has a spring in her step as she hurries to the boarding ship

>>53749951
>get in
praise be the omnissiah please let us live

>>53749972>>53749931
>>53749796
you didn't....

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>>53749951
Is there a tape deck on this thing?

>>53749951
Bulkheads closing in 4 Terran units.
Self destruct sequence advanced.
Self destruct in 6 Terran units

>>53749990
I just healed him

>>53750077
Healed his missing arm did you? How impressive.
Self destruct in two Terran units

>push the button of ejection
here we go !

>>53750036
yes hold on what music will you play guardsman?

>>53749951
>Steps onto the shuttle and flips off the hulk

>>53750118
>>53749931
commissar what sort of features do you want me to put in your new mecha arm?

>>53750159
Hulk bulkheads have closed.
Self destruction in----now
*An incredible explosion rocks the ship, disorienting the unaugmented and throwing the crew around violently. In seconds the space hulk is reduced to a heap of scrapped cearamite and plasteel.*

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>>53750148
Let's see here...

>>53750196
Urg... Same thing I had in the old one...