Storythread

Okay, here's the next chapter of 'Heart of Light And Shadow'. If you've just joined us, I've been translating a German anon's story for them. This is the tenth chapter, and I really need to update the wiki with the earlier chapters. I'll get on that soon hopefully.

btw, if you speak German the original is here: https://www.fanfiktion.de/s/5914ee9d000782a121ba5bfc/1/Sanaray-1-Herz-aus-Licht-und-Schatten

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Chapter 10: Spidermonster

In the dark of the night they crept from the empty area with the well shaft to the street with the large estate. Oil lamps flickered behind glass lanterns, illuminating the street. Sana asked herself why they didn't use the lighting crystals. At the street corner she looked over her shoulder; past Iza's legs. The houses were dark, and no one was to be seen on the streets.

Roa gestured for them to follow him, and he led them along the street to the gate of the property. He pushed it, and seemed astonished to find it open.

Sana looked around again and let Ikalla pass first. She followed last. Through the untended front garden they, moved quickly to the back of the house. The windows were dark.

With the edge of his sword he broke the back door open with a crack, and darted into the darkness. Sana looked again to see if anyone had heard, before she too stepped into the house. Iza ducked to avoid hitting her head. Roa pulled out his small light crystal, and Sana realised they were in a big kitchen. No cookware or cutlery to be seen. No food, or waste. She wiped off a work surface and felt a thin layer of dust.

>>53717947

Next, they entered a large hall. From the ceiling there hung a chandelier, in which weak light-stones glittered. At the wall there was a big sideboard with a cloth over it. Sana watched as Roa threw it back and quietly opened the drawers. As she went past, she saw an empty store. Sana followed Roa to the right, through an open sliding door into the entrance hall. She recognised the inner side of the front door, and a staircase in an arch opposite her which led upwards.

'I know that.' Iza said suddenly, making everyone jump. 'Down there.' She gestured to a door at the other end of the hall that was slightly ajar.

Sana felt the harpy tense up on her shoulders. She lay her hand reassuringly on her hanging leg, and then went with Roa to the door. Behind it she saw a stone staircase which led into the cellar. A lightstone lit the floor at the bottom.

Roa drew his second blade and descended slowly. He gestured to Sana to wait for Ikalla. At halfway down he stopped, and looked about him searchingly. He came back up to Sana again and said quietly to Ikalla: 'Stay here with Iza and take care of her. I'll go down alone with Sana.'

The girl frowned, and nodded.

Sana lifted the harpy off her shoulders and saw a mix of fear and sadness in her eyes. What's down there, she wondered. Sana nodded to Ikalla. Then she descended with Roa. She heard a muffled voice speaking, and then saw through the glass window of a cellar door. She could see large winebarrels from here, which were arranged in rows and stacked on top of one another. There were gratings in front of them. Again, Sana heard the voice, and a person went to one of the barrels. It was the man that she had shadowed. As they came to the door, Sana smelled hay. She glanced at Roa, who had put his finger on the big latch. He nodded to her.

Then he pushed it down and stepped into the cellar. 'Hey, who are you?' Sana heard, and she entered too. She saw Roa march up to the man, swords raised.

>>53717958

Noven Elgers was backing away with his hands up. 'Wait a moment!' he stuttered. 'If you want to have some you can take one. I don't want any trouble with you.'

Roa reached him and sent him to the floor with a blow from his sword pommel.

'Ah... wait... ' Noven spat blood and crawled backwards. Roa stepped on his chest, stopping him.

Sana stepped of the stairs and went slowly to the first cage.

In an icy voice, Roa asked: 'What are the witches planning?'

Inside the barrel, right at the back, three harpies sat on the hay, tightly crowded together. A mother, a son and a daughter.

'I know nothing about witches! My mother is dead. I ... ' A blow, and the cracking of bones interrupted his words, and he shrieked.

Sana gave the prisoners a friendly smile, pulled the glove from her pulsating arm, and then bent the bars with her pitch-black claw. She tore the entire grate away from the barrel, which splintered with a loud crunch.

'What are you doing here in the Onaziz estate?'

'Sana went to the next prison and freed four more. But like the other three they didn't dare come out.

The man whimpered, then said in an agonised voice: 'The Onazizs have been away for a long time, and I was able to hear the bank managed talking with the elder of the family about sending their fortune to Wynzakand. When they were gone I set up my livestock here. The Guards keep their distance from the founding families.'

Sana searched through the other cages, but didn't find any harpies in them. She stepped up beside Roa, who looked thoughtfully down at his victim. Sana crouched down and put her black hand on Noven's chest. She formed a claw, and her talons dug into his flesh. She could scarcely hold her cold anger over his captive harpies in check.

'How long have you been raising these harpies here?' she asked, pressing softly. He screamed under her grip and stammered: 'F-for... seven years.'

Ikallas voice called from the door: 'I couldn't stop Iza any longer, sorry.'

>>53717973

Sana looked up and saw Iza run to the first cage. She stood before it, still silent, then went to the next.

Roa said: 'If you're not telling the truth my friend here will be even more angry then she already is. And you don't want that, right?'

Sana dug her claws deeper into his chest. I should kill him, she thought, slow and agonising.

'Who buys the intelligent harpies from you?' Roa asked.

Novens' gaze darted in panic to Sana and her arm, and he said: 'Various people. They come here to look for their harpies, and then they give me the money.'

Sana noticed Iza come next to her. She looked at Iza's face and saw flowing tears. Sana stood and retracted her talons. She ignored the man as he yelped in pain.

'You sold my mother.' Iza said suddenly in a sharp tone. 'You sold my sisters. "Hopefully they'll taste as good as the last ones", the man said to you.'

Sana had to hold herself back. She felt her anger pulsing in her arm. She couldn't see Iza crying, and her tormentor down there in front of her shaking. But she had no right to interfere right then.

She felt the harpy take hold of her dark arm and pull it away from the man on the ground.

'Let's go upstairs.' she said bitterly.

Sana's anger turned to confusion, and she asked: 'W-what? What about Noven?'

'I don't want to look at him any more.' she said. Sana looked into her eyes and in that moment saw how great Iza was. She didn't see any anger or hate, only a trace of sadness.

The harpy smiled briefly at her, then pulled her up the stairs and through the cellar door. Ikalla sat there on the steps, and made room for them to pass. Behind them a scream of pain rang out. Then another. The third was only a loud whine, and the fourth only a loud cough. When Sana reached the entrance hall the only thing to be heard from below was a soft cry.

When Roa shut the cellar down and pushed the bar across, Iza was still clutching Sana's arm tightly. She was trembling, she noted.

>>53717992

'What about the harpies?' asked Sana, and Roa said to them: 'I'll tip off the Golden Eye later. The harpies, like all intelligent harpies found, will be brought to the military.'

'To the military?' asked Ikalla.

'Yes. They are cared for there. They are trained. They are treated well like any other soldier, and then appropriately employed.'

'You mean they'll be sent to their deaths.'

'They fight, like any other honourable soldier, for the Imperium. What else should we do with them? Kill them?' He sheathed his blades again and wiped his hands on his trousers.

Sana asked: 'What about Noven?'

'He'll definitely enjoy the company of the liberated harpies. His hands and feet are broken. He isn't going anywhere. If he survives the Golden Eye will take care of him. Now, let's split up and search the estate. Knock for secret doors in the walls, collect letters, files, anything that could contain information. I want to find out why the Onaziz left their seat here in Iskanda.'

'I'll go upstairs with Iza.' said Sana, and was about to put her back on her shoulders, but the harpy shook her head and held on tighter to her arm. It had again taken on a greyish colour.

After several unsuccessful rooms, in which there was only covered furniture with empty draws, Sana and Iza stepped into a small room with a child's bed. She couldn't make out much by the weak light emitted by the shining crystal that she'd got from Roa. The chest of drawers was empty, as expected. Disappointed, she sat down on the bed and looked at Iza, who was looking in a box. She is so strong, she thought. Always calm and balanced. Despite everything that she's experienced. 'How do you do that?' Sana asked. Iza turned and looked at her, surprised. Her eyes were still reddened. 'If you hadn't pulled me out of there I would have killed him.' said Sana. 'And I'm not even the one the Onaziz did this to.'

>>53718011

The harpy hopped onto the bed and sat next to her. She said: 'When you freed me, like the Fury of the stories, I followed you even though I was afraid of you. I though that you can be who I'd like to be. The one who punishes the evil men and avenges me. I don't know if the Imperium is evil, like Ikalla says it is, but I've seen a lot of evil men. I quickly saw what's happening with you. The Fury that mama told me about. I don't want you to become that, and I also don't want to become that myself.

Sana was amazed how grown up Iza sounded. She seemed so young and fragile, but as she spoke she sounded like an adult.

Iza leaned her upper body against Sana and closed her eyes. 'Mama always told me a lot about the wind. How it can make you a fury or how he can carry into the heavens. At night I always dreamed of the wind. Of flying, and seeing the world from above.'

Sana looked down at Iza, who had opened her eyes again. There was a sparkle, and a clarity in them. She pushed herself up and brought her face very close to Sana and said: 'I want to be like the wind.'

With a loud bang something fell to the floor in front of them. Sana reached for it and in the glinting light realised it was a book. She put the crystal on her lap and the book on her knees. 'Revin Onaziz.' Sana read out the name written in spidery scrawl on the cover. A diary, she thought. She opened the first page and recognised some childish drawings. Human-shaped figures, trees, sun, all kinds of animals. Sana skipped a few pages and saw the image of a big, black figure. The eyes were painted a bright blue. Next to it on the left and right were two small people. The drawings that followed in the following pages were ever more strange pictures full of childish drawings of monsters. Then, however, the images stopped, and instead came page after page of diary entries. She looked for the last entry in the last third of the book. The remaining pages were empty.

>>53718023

~~~~
13th of Semai, 2137

I now see it ever more often and more clearly. Father says it's a good thing, but I don't want this. It'll be over soon, he says.

Mother always sits on my bed in the evenings now, to calm me down because of the spider monster in the attic. But I hear it every night. It scratches and scratches, and when I look up I see it looking at me through the hole. Then it stretches its long legs down.

~~~~

Sana shuddered, and looked up carefully. There was a small gap split between the boards; behind it, darkness. She stood up and with Iza went back to the stairs. She looked up and found the trapdoor to the attic. She said to Iza, 'I'll lift you up and you pull on the handle, okay?'

The harpy nodded, and let herself be pushed up. With both thumbs she grabbed the cold metal and pulled hard.

Sana put her companion down again and was able to unfold the fold-out ladder hanging from the wood. She gave Iza the book and looked up. Please no spidermonsters, please no spidermonsters, please no spidermonsters. With courage she reached for the rung and climbed up. She held the crystal up in front of her. Cold air swept against her. The air smelled musty. With her head in the opening she cautiously stretched into the attic and held the crystal in front of up so she could see more. She flinched as she discovered the skeleton of a rodent right in front of her face. Then she climbed right in and took a step into the attic. It was like another, muted world. The only light that did not come from Sana was from the round window in the distance, somewhere at the other end of the roof. She briefly looked down at Iza again, before she went to explore the attic. The wood around her seemed to swallow every beat of her footsteps.

>>53718037

First she went towards the window, and found an adjoining room. This, however, was completely empty except for the dust on the floor. But she recognised traces of animals: lone feathers and the patterns of scuttling legs in the dust. A shelf on the wall near the door was empty.

She went out again and moved to the round window. Looking down through it she could see the empty street in the light of the lanterns. Then she turned back, and looked along the whole length of the roof. It looked shorter from the outside, she thought. She now went to explore the other side. As she passed the trapdoor she looked down again, and to her relief saw Iza, still standing there. Where else would she be? she asked herself.

The other side of the roof was just as empty. No old boxes or shelves. Only the skeletons of birds which had strayed in here in the past. She found a room here as well. The door was half closed and there was a trail in the dust that showed that the door was opened regularly. Fearfully she pushed the door with her foot, while she leaned back with her upper body. The door creaked. But the noise sounded quiet, as if the attic swallowed it. Behind it Sana immediately recognised the split in the floor. She got goosebumps. Before she went to it, she looked at the walls of the room. On one of the hung a simple shelf, on which a cloudy glass stood. Dust had accumulated in it.

She stepped into the room and immediately felt uncomfortable. She looked over her shoulder to the door to make sure it was still open. Then she crouched down and peered through the hole. She could see nothing, and she leaned back. She examined the edges of the hole. The wood had no scratches. Apart from the split in the wood it was flawless. No spidermonster. Sana got up and looked at the glass. Carefully she lifted it, and examined it from all sides. It was milky and had a crack. Otherwise it was not particularly distinctive. She set it down again and turned to the door.

>>53718054

It was still open.

What else would it be? Sana reassured herself. She stepped out of the room and felt somewhat better. She went speedily to the trapdoor and climbed down a few steps. But then she looked around again. There was the window, that threw its sallow lantern light into the attic, and on the other side the room with the hole and the glass. She got goosebumps again, and went down.

Beside Iza, she breathed a sigh of relief, and took the book. There was the sound of steps from the staircase. She saw Roa and Ikalla coming up, and said: 'I found this.' She handed Roa the book.

Ikalla said: 'We found nothing. The property is completely empty, apart from some old furniture.'

Roa said under his mask. 'Yes, let's go. At least we have this book.'

They went back down and out through the back door. When they were outside the house Sana looked up again at the roof. There was the little window from which she had looked out into the street. She shuddered at the thought, and left the site with the others as quickly as possible.


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Wow, I hope theres gonna be stories in here soon. If not, then I guess I might try later.

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>>53737951
I'll have another chapter of >>53717947 ready in a few hours, but I'm really starting to get the feeling that there's a lack of enthusiasm for these threads atm.

>>53718070

Chapter 11: Cave of Desire


Back in the hideout, Roa immediately began to leaf through the book.

'A diary.' Sana said, drinking a sip of acacia juice. She gave the bottle to Iza, who eagerly drank it empty. Sana opened her collar and put it aside.

'I'll be working through the entries for the rest of the night. You should get some sleep.' said Roa, his gaze resting on the pages.

'Isn't it suspicious that the Founding Families live so secretly and so withdrawn?' asked Ikalla. 'Do they maybe have something to hide?'

Roa looked at her now, and answered. 'They are the richest citizens in the Imperium, and the whole empire rests on their backs. They appoint the Imperator and control all the important parts of the economy and culture. It's understandable that they'd be too security-conscious to want to live public lives. Not least because a madman stabbed the head of the Kandi Family in the open street.'

'And you see nothing wrong with this?' asked Ikalla with an angry look.

'No.'

'Who controls the founding families?'

Roa muttered in annoyance and said: 'Are you implying that they don't support the Imperium?'

Ikalla crossed her arms and said: 'I only asked who controls the families.'

'No one.'

'So they have absolute power.'

'Yes. And see what this power has brought us. A powerful Imperium, that protects its citizens, and has brought such prosperity and peace as never before in history. Our airships fly through the sky and the underground rail connects one end of the Imperium to the other. So if the families really are against the Imperium then they're doing a damn bad job.'

Ikalla laughed, and lay down on her mattress. She turned away from him, and said: 'You'll see.'

'That we will.' he said, and lowered his eyes to the pages of the book again.

>>53744271
bumping just to see where you're going with this.

>>53744271


That night Sana had slept badly. She'd had several nightmares, but she didn't remember anything of what she did in them. Maybe it was better like that, she thought. Now she stood beside Roa, who was looking thoughtfully at the big map on the wall. Sana looked around for Iza and Ikalla. Both lay on their mattresses and seemed to still be asleep.

'I think the boy was ill.' said Roa quietly. 'Mentally. He often wrote about his dreams and delusions. About the constantly recurring Shadow People or Dream People who came to visit him. About a monster in the ice, about small animals that only he sees, and apparently about spiders.

'But that doesn't bring us any closer to the witches.' said Sana.

'That's not the only thing that he wrote. For example, he was always sad that he had to stay in his room when guests were in the house. But he always secretly sneaked to the stairs to eavesdrop on them. He describes everything he heard. One conversation he overheard is very interesting for us. He writes of the 13th Family being talked about, and that Nimrod will soon awake.'

'Who's Nimrod?' Ikalla asked suddenly, sitting up. Muttering, she rubbed her eyes.

Roa answered: 'I don't know. And I've also never heard anything about the 13th Family.'

'But this still has nothing to do with the witches.' Sana repeated. She looked at the map and focused on the Nightshadow Forest in the south.

'Here.' Roa said, handing her the open book. 'Read it.'

>>53746455

~~~~

This morning my big sister ran away from home. I have never heard father speak so loudly and so furiously. Mother couldn't keep him calm for long. I hope Linva is doing well. In the evening father let all our relatives come. Even I was allowed to come downstairs to the big gathering. I was quite afraid. So many people, and everyone was angry and serious. At last a strange woman came. We all had to swear by Vihagai never to betray the family. Should we do so, she would seek us out and take care of us. She also said that she wants to find my sister. I hope she finds Linva and takes care of her.

~~~~

'This strange woman he talks about could be a witch.' Roa said. 'They had to swear an oath on Vishraki. He was the witches' ally in the Vampire War.'

'Was?' asked Ikalla. 'What is he now?'

'Dead. Destroyed by Istanu.'

'What if we look for this Linva?' Sana said. 'She can definitely tell us more.'

'This is from fifteen days ago. Where would we start looking? Besides, I'm sure that this witch has "taken care" of her.'

Sana clenched her teeth and stared at the map. 'I'll go looking for her.' She began to pull her gloves over her hands.

'I'll come along.' Ikalla said, and she jumped up.

Iza at once began to clamber up onto her back, and sat herself in position. She handed Sana the leash.

Roa leaned back with his arms crossed and said: 'Iskanda alone has over a million inhabitants.'

Sana ignored him and made her way to the door, along with Ikalla.

'Don't do anything reckless.' Roa added.


I have no idea where I'm going, thought Sana as she went down the road, across the bridge. She remembered what Roa had said. Over a million... she realised how little of the city she had actually seen, and that even the mass of people around her, which seemed so many to her, was actually so few.

Ikalla said behind her: 'I suppose you know what you're doing?'

'No.'

'Good.'

>>53746481

They came to the plaza again, and saw the familiar Sirah, behind his stall selling smoked meat. She looked around once, before she looked to Ikalla. Her red hair was positively glowing in the morning sun.

Ikalla asked: 'If you were a young girl, fresh from running away from home, without food, or shelter, and you didn't want to be found, where would you go?'

'Maybe I would... I don't know, maybe a bed...'

'Exactly. To the whorehouse.'

Sana looked around embarrassed to see if anyone had heard.

Ikalla said: 'Now we just need to find out where the whore quarter is in this city.'

'Can you please stop saying 'whores' so loudly?'

'Why? Aren't they whores? They probably work in whorehouses. Every village normally has a whore, and every city...'

Sana grabbed Ikalla by the hand and pulled her into a side alley. She tried to ignore Ikalla's wide grin, and said: 'Now we just have to find out where in Iskanda this pleasure quarter is.'

Suddenly, a voice above them said: 'That's simple. On the eastern edge of the city, right along the wall.'

Sana looked up into the face of an old lady, who was leaning on her window sill; she grinned down at them.

'T-thank you.' Sana stuttered, and walked quickly back to the street.

'No problem.' she heard behind her; she felt Iza patting her head in praise.

'Where I come from prostitution is forbidden.'

Ikalla said: 'It's just not so openly displayed.'

She's right, she thought. When I ran away from home and was hungry and cold on Akhor's streets, I saw the inconspicuous houses. At the time, after a week without food, they seemed tempting. Only a few minutes for enough money to keep my belly full for the whole week... suddenly Sana didn't want to find Linva there any more.

'So this is the Imperium.' said Ikalla, as if she had read Sana's thoughts. 'Everything only /seems/ beautiful.'

>>53746508


Even from a distance Sana could smell the pleasure quarter. A sweet scent of perfume lay in the air. The houses on the way were old and not as high as in the rest of the city, and they hardly encountered anyone. Only a drunk man staggering past them. At the end of the street, above a doorless entrance, there was a shimmering arch with the words 'Happy Street' on it. Behind it, to the left was the city wall and on the right a long row of houses.

Sana stood uncertainly in front of the entrance.

'What is it?' asked Ikalla, waiting for her.

'I don't want them to think that I'm a customer.'

'As good as you look, just be happy if no one thinks you are competition.'

Sana felt her ears start to get hot. She walked past Ikalla and into the street. When she looked to her right she was immediately greeted by a pair of big, naked breasts, hanging out of a window on the ground floor, belonging to a blonde woman who said: 'The House of Backblossom offers erotic massage and baths, but also the classic pleasures with one or more women.'

Sana blinked and forced herself to look the woman in the eyes. She said: 'Yes, I... I mean, no, I'm just looking for someone. Her name is Linva. She's young and she'd have only turned up here recently.'

The woman propped her head on her arm and jiggled her chest slightly. Sana tried to focus even more on the woman's eyes that she already was.

'No.' said the blonde. 'I've not heard of anyone like that here.But are you sure that you wouldn't like to come back later?' She looked past Sana to Ikalla and said: 'I have a big redhead here whose massages will totally overpower you. She is extremely powerful. Or if you prefer an older blonde...' with her arms, she squeezed her breasts together. 'If you have some money left over we also have a passionate young man, whose tongue...'

>>53746526

'We're good, thanks.' Sana insisted. Her cheeks were glowing and a tingle went over her skin. 'Thanks for the information... and the offer. We're going to keep asking now.'

Tense, she went to the next house; over the door the words "Cave of Desire" were painted. Sana stopped in front of it and took a short breath.

Ikalla said: 'Come on, penetrate deep into the Cave of Desire!'

Sana heard her giggle, and stepped into the flowery, fragrent hall. In the half-darkness she was greeted by a young woman with glasses. She was sitting behind a counter, and looked up.

'Welcome.' she said with a seductive smile. Her dark brown hair was tied into a braid.

'I have a question...' Sana began, before she was interrupted by the woman.

'I'm sorry, but we don't offer any service that includes harpies.'

Sana felt Iza squirm slightly and press closer to her neck.

'What? No, I'm looking for a certain girl, Linva. Young, would have turned up in the last few days.'

The woman shook her head and said. 'All our women have been working here for a long time and have many years of experience. You can be sure we know how to deal with women too, even if we rarely get visits from them. We have a young Hattusa farmgirl who would love to share a bed with a beauty like you. She's free at the moment. Ellivin!'

Sana said: 'Thanks, but...'

The door to her left opened and stark naked girl stepped out. Her smooth, black hair was cut to shoulder length. She threw Sana a seductive smile, and walked forward. She pressed Sana's arm between her breasts and held it tightly to her. With the other hand she softly stroked her cheek.

Sana took a deep breath and said: 'I... fear I have no time. Nevertheless, thank you for the offer. I'll come back if need be, and recommend her in future.' Slowly she pulled her arm back from the naked skin and took a step back, bumping into Ikalla.

'Hey, watch it.' she complained.

'See you soon, sweetie.' said the naked girl, and blew Sana a kiss.

>>53746554

She paused for a moment, letting her gaze wander over her body, and then walked out of the 'Cave of Desire' in silence. From one of the upper windows came the sound of a woman's loud moaning and the simultaneous grunting of a man.

Ikalla chuckled and said: 'If you want Iza and I can wait out here. We have loads of time. Besides, it's still early, the women are all still free. So you have freedom of choice.'

After an hour or so they had reached the end of the street, and Sana felt as if she had run a marathon. She was sweating and her face was red.

She said, 'We should visit the bathhouse on the way back.'

Ikalla crossed her arms in front of her to protect her chest and said with mock fear: 'After everything you've just seen you'd jump on me, a poor, innocent girl, in the bath.'

Sana wanted to reply snappily when she heard a 'Hey!' behind her. It was a woman wearing a transparent robe of blue silk.

She come up to them and looked with a smile from Ikalla to Sana, and said: 'I heard that you were looking for someone. I don't actually know this person, but you should try the smuggler's caves. But I'll tell you this, it's a dangerous place for two pretty girls such as yourselves. Do you know an entrance?'

Sana shook her head and the woman said: 'You didn't hear this from me, but in the south at twelve Morningstar alley there's a narrow passage between the houses leading into a back yard. There are usually a few watchmen sitting there, and they'll let you pass through the passageway for ten Datta. But like I said. It's best not to go there alone.'

'Thank you so much.' said Sana.

'You can thank me by visiting me at the 'Red Pearl'. Ask for Mariva.' She winked, and went back down the street.

Ikalla said drily: 'You should really visit her Red Pearl to thank her.' A dirty laugh echoed between the city wall and the houses.


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I have a game later today. It's supposed to be a moderately serious Rogue Trader/Dark Heresy game. If anyone's interested I'll post about it afterwards

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>>53711273
Jesus Christ, so very little stories so far. I know I said I might try adding a story or two earlier. >>53737951

But I've just been busy with work related stuff. And hey, if this thread gets archived or 404'd early due to lack of posts. I hope atleast the newer thread gets post and contents. Again, I'll try to post if possible.

>>53766471

By all means dude, go ahead and post. The thread could use it.

>>53766734
Alright. It should be happening in a few hours, so the thread will have to live a little longer.

For now, here's the character line up
>Weeaboo Space Capitalist with waifu drones
>Dark Eldar Kabalite Warrior
>Generic Guardsman
>Lacrymole Assassin
>Human Chirurgeon
>Necron Deathmark

Subject to change once the game starts. Here on out I'll post as my R20 account, where the game is being played.

>>53746647

Chapter 12: The Underground


The passageway in Morningstar alley really was extremely narrow. You could only walk in single file between the houses, and you had to lean slightly to the side so as not to rub your shoulders on the walls.

Fortunately the passage was not long and nobody was coming the other way. Sana and Ikalla now stepped into a shady courtyard, as had been described to them. Weeds and bushes lined its edges, and in the middle stood a weather-worn wooden table, where two old men sat, playing cards.When they saw Sana and Ikalla step into the courtyard they looked up.

The one on the left said: 'Get lost, there's nothing here for you.'

Ikalla reached into her pocket and went to the table, on which she put down the coins. She grinned at the man and said: 'To the entrance, please. I've also given you a little extra.'

Both of the men looked at each other briefly, then shrugged. The other stood up, pocketed the coins, and led them to a wooden door at the back of a high house. She looked over her shoulder again at the man who was sitting at the table, watching them. He'd clasped his hands behind his head and gave her a dirty grin.

The room behind the door was completely empty. The walls were full of old cobwebs and another opposite them was walled up. On the floor in the middle of the room there was a big hole. There was a broad wooden staircase which led into the depths, which was illuminated by a crystal.

The door behind them shut, and Sana saw that they were alone. 'Don't worry, I'll protect you down there.' she said.

'I definitely hope so.' Ikalla answered.

Sana descended down the steps. At the end of the staircase she followed the tunnel, which led gently downwards into the depths. Soon she heard muffled murmurs, which were cast from wall to wall.

>>53769429

When she finally stepped out of a passage into a large cave, from the ledge she caught sight of several wooden sheds and huts. They lined the walls, along with many floating wagons that were unloaded.

She walked down the stone steps set in the wall, and was met with surprised and questioning looks from her first step. Sana was on-edge, and she asked herself if she'd really find Linva here.

A old man came up to her and looked her up and down. 'How much?' he asked, and reached out for Sana's breast.

She instantly slapped his hand away, and Ikalla said: 'We're not whores.'

The man looked at them angrily and said: 'That remains to be seen.'

He trotted away and Ikalla said: 'Don't take any shit.'

Sana nodded and watched after the man. Her heart was beating quickly, and she untensed the fist of her right hand. She let her gaze wander over the huts. In front of one stood two armoured men, armed with swords, knives and big axes in their hands. On the sign above them was written: "Jewellery, Gold and Gemstones". Along from it were shops with open fronts, where materials were laid out. In one of the others there were cages with all sorts of creatures. As she walked towards it she felt Iza huddle down on her shoulders. One of the men saw her coming and greeted her, saying: 'Judging by your rare harpy, you seem to have an interest in exotics. If you want I can, for a small but reasonable price, also supply you with a ruby-red. Or are you more interested in smaller animals?'

Sana saw colourful fish in water basins, big insects - to her horror spiders too - and cute looking furry animals that she'd never seen before. They had long, hairless ears and flattened, dog-like faces. They sat on their hind legs and raised their thin little arms.

'Alvirons, a delicacy, freshly arrived from north Kidanas. Their price, however, has risen since the dynasty pushed south. It's hard to hunt them in a warzone.'

>>53769552

Sana looked him in the face and said: 'Actually I only have one question.'

The corner of his mouth twitched, and he said: 'Could have said that right away. What is it?'

'I'm looking for a girl named Linva. Would have turned up a few weeks ago. Do you know anyone like that?'

The man was silent until Ikalla finally pressed a few coins into his hand. He said: 'Even if someone had turned up here, she would have been sold not long after. The only women you find here are whores or slaves. But if you're looking for a slave, try opposite with old Limfor, who works for Kosvo. And if you don't want to buy anything then you can get lost now.'

Sana turned around and looked over at a house that had grills on its windows. The door was shut. She looked at Ikalla, who shrugged her shoulder and headed towards it.

When Sana hesitantly knocked on the door, a view-slit was pulled aside. One cloudy and one sighted eye looked back at her. The man said nothing.

Finally, Sana said: 'I'm looking... for a slave.' Her fists were balled. She didn't know what to expect if the man opened the door, and secretly she was hoping he wouldn't.

A bolt creaked, and they were let in. When they stood inside it was locked behind them, and the man walked around a wide table to his chair. His bald head reflected the white light emitted from a crystal in the ceiling. He pulled out a large book from under the table and lay it in front of himself. After folding his hands over it he said: 'It's unusual that a woman comes to me asked for slaves, but be assured that I can satisfy all your interests. I'm the most important trader of the city, and my selection is exceptional. Short delivery time is also possible except in the case of especially unusual requests.'

Sana gritted her teeth and took a step forward. She asked: 'Are your... slaves not here then?'

>>53769573

'Oh no. They are in various warehouses in various locations. We only meet here for preliminary discussions, in order to determine your exact vision and wishes. I will then make the best possible pre-selection and then deliver them to any location you desire so that you can make a decision. A blind inspection of our goods is unfortunately not possible. But be assured that you will always get what you want.

Sana took a deep breath, in and out. She could hardly swallow down her revulsion. She said: 'I'm looking for a young girl by the name of Linva. She would have shown up recently; she's the daughter of a rich family here in Iskanda. Do you have such a slave? I would be read to pay more than usual for her.'

The man looked thoughtfully into the air, and answered: 'Daughters of rich families are very rare and also very much in demand. Forgive my boldness, but I am not sure that you could afford such a girl. Especially a youth. But I've never heard the name anyway. And also, no case like that has turned up in the last few weeks. But if it is young girls that you want I'm sure I have the right ones for you. We have daughters of officials and government representatives. However, these are also very high-priced, as you surely understand. Normally availability is limited by the high security measures of the families.

Sana looked briefly at Ikalla, who was standing there with a petrified expression, her arms crossed. Sana crouched down and motioned to Iza to get down. She asked again: 'I have other interests. You wouldn't happen to have children from orphanages available?'

'Ah, you want to buy a group. You can get a hundred orphans for the price of an official's daughter. Just tell me how many and where. Maybe you'd like a certain mixture. From fifty children I'll also add in an exotic from Windora, Damaru or Ravcai. At a hundred you get get a lamia with them. And as promised the delivery times are...'

>>53769590

Sana came up to the table and grabbed the man's throat with her black claw. The remains of the tattered glove hung from her wrist. She lifted the man up into the air and threw him against the wall with ease. He wheezed and gasped for air.

'Kosvo will hear of this.' the man rasped, trying to straighten up.

'Where is this Kosvo.' Sana growled, the hate and anger rushed over her, and the blackness clouded her body. The man whimpered and held his arms in front of his head. She saw him piss himself. Stuttering, he said: 'I only write names in his book...'

Sana grabbed him by the collar and lifted him up. She slammed him against the wall and his shoulders cracked. His scream was only a whisper, for the impact had forced the air out of his lungs. She asked: 'Where. Do. I. Find. Him.'

'Trimur. Smuggler's pit.'

She let him fall to the ground, and saw him break his wrist on impact. The claws of her paw became longer and sharper.

So he will be my first.

Ikalla said behind her: 'Let me do it.'

Sana turned around and saw that the girl was holding a big book in her hands. She stood next to her and swung. With every blow of the book's spine against the man's bursting skull, his choking and whimpering become quieter, before each blow only made his body twitch. His face, along with his brain, was beaten to a pulp. When the body no longer gave any reaction Ikalla stood up and threw the battered book aside. Both stood there silently and looked down at the dead man. Sana's arm took its normal form again and the last remaining fabric of her white gloves glided to the floor. Finally she turned around and saw Iza standing in the room. Despite the brutality that had just occurred, the harpy radiated a carefree innocence.

'I'm sorry that you had to see that.' Sana said guiltily. Iza seemed so pure to her, and she didn't want to taint the harpy.

'He was an evil man.' was all the bird-creature said, and raised her arms to be lifted up.

>>53769612

Sana lifted her onto her shoulders again, feeling as if she had been robbed of a part of her own innocence. She looked at Ikalla, who was looking expressionlessly at the dead man in front of her. Sana noticed a brief smile on the girl's lips, before she turned to her.

'What are we going to do about your arm?' asked Ikalla.

Sana looked down at him, and then to the tattered rags on the floor in front of the table.

There was a knock at the door.

Sana and Ikalla looked each other in the eyes silently. If we don't open up, he'll go away, she thought.

There was another knock. A soft female voice muttered something, and a second, deeper woman's voice responded.

Sana watched as the iron bar jerked aside, and the door opened. An older woman stepped in, followed by a brown-haired girl. The older one shut the door and looked at them sternly. Three big scars ran over the woman's face, which still conveyed charm and grace though. Long grey hair, interwoven with individual pale-gold strands, fell down like a curtain over her shoulders and her deep blue robe. A long, wine-red apron, embroidered with a golden crystal, covered her front. In the middle of the crystal was fixed a large emerald. Around her chest the strange woman wore a golden corset over her robe. On this, small bells, bottles and utensils clinked softly against each other. Little bags hung from cords at her side. A ruby-red cape hung from her back, its bottom wet and dirty. She wore a silver belt around her hips. Sana stared in wonder at the fine silver stitching on the wide sleeves and the golden shawl around her shoulders.

The girl next to her, on the other hand, looked overwhelmingly inconspicuous. She was wearing a brown shirt full of patches and a grey skirt full of holes.

>>53769629

'You are an idiot.' said the woman, and her gaze wandered over Sana's arm. Her eyes narrowed, just before she looked past Sana to the dead man. She eyed Iza, and then looked to Ikalla, before she again looked Sana deep in the eyes. 'So you are the ones who Roa has working for him now.' she said.

Sana countered: 'Who are you and what do you want from us?' She looked from the woman to the girl, and saw how she flinched uncertainly. The old woman lay her hand on her shoulder and said: 'Alexia Asamati. And I believe you're looking for Linva, the girl next to me.'

Sana's eyes widened and her heart jumped. She said: 'Yes. We wanted to save her from a witch, and ask her about her family.'

'I know.' Alexia replied.

Ikalla asked: 'Do you know about the witches' plan.'

Alexia answered: 'Linva told me about it when I found her some time ago. I've been protecting her since then.'

Sana didn't fully trust her yet. It was somehow too easy. Not even a day, and she was presented with the girl on a silver platter. 'Where do you know Roa from?' she asked.

A vulpine smile played across her lips, and she answered: 'You distrust me. Very good. That means he did not choose idiots.' She turned her head to the door, and seemed to be listening. She said: 'You have to trust me. I am on your side, and also fight against the witches. And I'll be able to prove it to you, too.'

Outside, there was a loud crash, and panicked cries rang out.

Fear rose in Sana. She looked at her arm, which was becoming dark again.

Alexia pushed Linva to Sana, and said: 'Follow the wide tunnel down. Take the third tunnel entrance, follow the path that branches up, not down. Linva will show you the way from there.' She reached up to her corset and grabbed a golden crystal. 'When I open the door, run.'

Sana nodded and took Linva by the hand. She looked briefly at Ikalla, who shrugged.

'Now!' Alexia said, and opened the door.


----------

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>>53766734
Hey, don't worry about it. If you don't have time, you don't have time.

What concerns me more is that this thread is only supported by a handful of writefags, to the point where one or two of them being busy kills the whole thread. Don't get me wrong, you guys are great, but it seems like the rest of /tg/ just completely ignores us. Ideally we'd have a small core group AND a larger number of people who just drop in every now and then. But I don't think anyone else on this board knows we exist or cares in the slightest. Maybe that's just my fault for not advertising more.

Either way, I'm starting to wonder if it's really worth continuing these threads as a regular thing when they attract so little interest. I've been doing this thread for over two years now, and although the response was good in the first couple of months it sort of petered out after that. When I first started doing this I'd do a thread every week and it would get to the bump limit within three or four days. Now it can't even make it to 300 posts in two weeks. There have been ups and downs over the past two years, but it's never got as much attention as it did in the beginning. Maybe this sort of thread was better when it only happened every few months, like it used to before I took it upon myself to make it a regular thing.


Anyway, I'll have finished translating >>53769698 soon. There's only one more chapter available (btw, I have now realised that the story isn't actually finished, so I guess we'll just have to wait for Germananon to write some more to find out what happens). Once I've done that I'll try writing something of my own to contribute.

>>53767186
This is Dank Heresy: Rogue Trader Edition.
The characters have been hired to transport some packages across the galaxy.

Shitposts await.

The players are:
>Fio'El Fal'Shia Or'es Ukos "Powerful Spoon," a weeaboo Earth Caste Engineer with waifu drones.
>Darastrix, a Space Marine-sized red lizard who hates humans and is the physical embodiment of slow strength.
>Nemesor SP1 "Prince," a Necron assassin of the Enmefer(?) Dynasty.
>Some Eldar Fuck who never introduced himself.

The Rogue Trader has locked herself in her room. No one has seen her for a few days. Any one who goes near the crates the party is transport becomes disturbed. Darastrix decides to check on the Rogue Trader... by punching her door in. He manages it in one punch. Inside there are scratches, symbols, and words all over the inside. There's also blood, too much for just one person. There are no bodies. At this point we realize none of our characters can read Low Gothic. With this knowledge we summon Steve the Painfully Average Guardsman, a player characters who was unable to make it to today's session. He examines the room, determines that the red stuff splattered on the wall is in fact blood.

Steve reads the writing on the wall and says, "Red Thorn, I think that's a planet."

Prince suggests we pick a new captain. It is put to a vote, with Prince voting for himself and everyone voting for Steve. Darastrix changes his vote to himself after learning that Steve is a human. The vote is cancelled and straws are drawn to decide the next captain.

Steve draws the longest straw and exclaims, "I'm the captain now!"

The party decides to check the boxes. Powerful Spoon brings his drones along in case anything goes wrong. He attempts to shoot the lock off and misses. Darastrix finds the other guardsman aboard and Intimidates him. Spoon then has his gun drone Ruby tries to shoot the lock off. She misses too and so does Steve when he tries. Darastrix continues intimidating the guardsman until he

>>53772087
leaves the room. Not wanting to accidentally shoot through the hull, the party gives up on opening the crates.

Powerful Spoon decides to poke around engineering. he sees something scuttle into the vents, thereupon screaming, "ORKS! ORKS! ARE IN THE VENTS!" this only confuses everybody. Steve then brings the ship out of the Warp, dropping the party in the middle of bum-fuck nowhere.After the party yells at him for that, he explains he wanted to change directions, that he's new at this kind of stuff, and that he only learned how to read yesterday. The ships makes the jump back into the Warp.

Darastrix takes a shower. Looking into the drain he sees an eye scuttle away. He tries to punch the drain, but misses, coming up short. He returns to taking his shower after grunting and saying, "Eh, I've seen bigger."

After a few days the ship exits the Warp above Red Thorn. It is Earth-like, with not much space travel around it. It's probably a feudal world.

After an argument about how to get down, the party chooses to have Steve land the ship rather than jump from orbit.

The ship lands in a field. There are a few castles visible in the distance. Steve volunteers to stay with the ship, under the pretense he's the only one who knows how to fly. Prince decides to stay with Steve to make sure he doesn't ditch the party.

Garastrix tries to Intimidate the guardsman again. He fails, and the guardsman Intimidates him back. The guardsman is successful.

Everyone goes to the cockpit, where Prince sees a creature scuttle into a control panel. Steve opens up the panel and the creature flies out, taking a bite out of his midsection. The creature retreats into the panel and flees. Scuttling can be heard all around, just before the lights cut out. Everyone leaves the ship, and Darastrix tries to heals Steve. At first he sticks his hand into his wound. Then he sticks his fist in. On the third try he successfully heals Steve. Steve is now at full health. Steve and the other

>>53772350
guardsman stay with the ship.

There are eight-legged equine creatures in the field where the ship has landed. Darastrix approaches one and pets it. After a few moments he jumps on top of it. it strains a little, but manages to support the half-ton creature. Darastrix can now move at the same speed as everyone else.

The party decide to head to one of the castles. As they travel through the field the trees stay about the same distance away. They notice a man riding one of the eight-legged horses. The party ignores him.

After about twelve hours they reach the castle at around 10 PM. The wall is large and smooth, with a barred portcullis and two guard towers. Two soldiers in plate armor stand guard at the gate. Prince comments that they're pathetic, prompting an argument about the patheticness of humans.

Darastrix tries to talk to the guard to let them see the count. The guard refusing, claiming Darastrix looks like a greenskin, citing the similarity in size. The guard also points out that he may be trying to kill the count. Prince tries to calm him down by calling Darastix "special." The guard questions why he's talking to a skeleton. After a clusterfuck of bullshit excuses involving an invading army and temple from the skies, the guard calls for reinforcements and tries to arrest Darastrix. Everyone else steps back to watch, sure that the giant lizard will be able to take the guards.

One of them manages to spear Darastrix in his left foot, anchoring him to the ground, breaking his foot at the same time. Garastrix swings his chainsword and misses, while Prince fires his Gauss blaster into the air in an attempt to draw their attention and stop the fighting. He accidentally shoots a soldier off a guardtower though, causing most of the guards to flee. The remaining guards attack, doing nothing, and Darastrix also misses his punch.Prince shoots a bowman with his synaptic disintegrater, giving him a heart attack. A spearman hits Darastrix's arm, shattering

>>53772559
it and another spears his other leg, tearing off a chunk off flesh, causing him to die. Seeing their best fighter go down, the party's morale breaks and they run back to the ship.

The end of session one of Dank Heresy: Rogue Trader Edition

>>53772087
>>53772350
>>53772559
>>53772583
>Prince fires his Gauss blaster into the air in an attempt to draw their attention and stop the fighting.
>He accidentally shoots a soldier off a guardtower though
at this point, I was almost expecting the soldier to land on one of the party. Well done anon, you gave me a smile before bedtime. that sounds dirtier than I meant it to

>>53769961
Don't kill the storythread Chronicler. Just keep posting it every week. It gives me reason to come back in this board asides from shitposting, just keep it up.

Maybe people this week are busy shitposting in /v/ because of E3 and to see what Todd Howard will lie about and if Half Life 3 will ever come.

>>53742621
Okay I think I might give this one a go:

"Please spare some change." Groaned a pathetic looking woman who's seated in a curb of the city streets.

"Change. Change... Please help a lil' ol' woman... Help a princess!"

It was quite a hard-to-look at sight to be honest. No one's sure where she came from but people who know about her only noticed her just five days ago. She's first seen in Ambervale Corner and this city's no stragner to beggars as any city out there's always bound to have some beggars and bums begging for alms to folk. However, unlike most beggars bums or hobos, this lady was quite different. At least different in terms of appearance, because this particualr female beggar wears some whimsy fairy tale-esque dress. Like she's some kind of princess, or something.

Anyway, this poor broad was probably doing some act or stunt by being this riches-to-rags princess who used to have everything from being rich. Then fell poor and now begs for scraps and shit, but thats not all. You see it seems that poor broad's crazy, cloud cuckoo land crazy, batshit insane. Because just like the way she's dressed she really tried to make her act of being some former noble lady believable. Saying she's from some faraway land this, an evil wizard cursed her to be poor that. It was kinda fun and games in the first few days but that's when she started acting even crazier.

(will continue later soon)

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>>53769961
Damn, I'd hate to see these threads go. I was not really able to participate in them lately, I barely have the strength to read, much less write something worth posting, or give reasonable feedback, but I still lurk in these and enjoy them.
I think it is natural that the traffic isn't as big as it was originally. But it is true that lately it's been a bit sparse. It seems like there is little new blood - mostly just the same people writing.

Maybe a change in frequency would help. Maybe not. I'm not sure. But I'd hate to see them go entirely.

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Lets keep it alive just a little bit longer, shall we?

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>>53773370
>>53781812
I'll keep going as we're going for the moment, but if things don't pick up I may scale it back to once a month.

I might start looking on /lit/, and maybe a few other boards to see if I can find some interest and bump up our numbers.

>>53783472
/lit/ can be... a handful. I don't really like the place, which is a shame because otherwise, it could be very much an ideal place for me. But I've mostly found a lot of arrogance and utter refusal to accommodate others, in no way justified by their erudition. Maybe I was just unlucky, but I tried it several times. That said, /lit/ guys can be pretty cool outside of their own board in my experience. So I guess it's worth the try.

In an unrelated news, I may have something to post after all. It's small and pointless even by my standards, but at least it may liven up the thread. I'll try to polish it up.

>>53783472
Hope you update the storythread's 14dchan wiki page and post the stories from last week.

Also if you're really gonna make the storythreads once a month next time, ya might aswell update the 1d4chan wiki page about it. And hope that plan works too.

>>53769698

Well, this is the last chapter. Unfortunately it ends on a bit of a cliffhanger, but who knows, maybe Germanbro will return someday to complete his/her work. Either way, I've had fun translating it; translating isn't an easy business but I think I've more or less done okay, although a translation can never really do the original justice. Plus, it's a good story and I've enjoyed following it along.

----------


Chapter 13: Witch


A cone of golden threads of light unfolded from the golden crystal in Alexia's hand. They took the form of circles which extended from the tip of the crystal to form a large circle in front of the house. Sana saw a white creature shoot out, which unfolded its whole form to the round end of the cone. White fur covered a wiry body, and radiated brightly. Horns arced backward on its wolfish head. It landed on mighty paws and turned its head towards Alexia.

Sana saw watchful cunning in its eyes. She jumped back as a black creature broke out of the ruins of the animal trader's stall opposite her. A few Alvirons hopped away. The monster was black, and consisted of black energy. Violet, glowing eyes looked towards the small animals. In its maw hung the lifeless body of the seller, which it swallowed down a moment later. On its back, between its protruding spines, sat a woman. Her black leader coat formed a concealing collar in front of her mouth. Her grey hair was wild and curly.

'Didn't you hear what I said?' said Alexia firmly, and Sana got moving. Taking Linva by the hand she ran towards the big cave exit at the end of the tunnel. A roar, and when she looked over her shoulder she saw Alexia's white creature spitting fire.

A few minutes later, when they could only hear the battle behind them as a quiet rumbling, they reached the tunnel she had described. It's entrance was low, and they had to bend over; Sana more than the others because of Iza. Behind the entrance lay darkness, but Linva pulled out a crystal.

>>53792211

'Thank you.' she said, her voice soft and shy. 'I'll show you the way.' She led them into the tunnel.

'What about Alexia?' asked Sana.

Linva answered: 'She'll defeat the witch. I'm sure of it.'

They followed the path along a black precipice which led into the depths. Sana heard a distant thunder, that neared and then fell silent underneath them. 'What was that?' she asked.

'The cave railway.' said Linva, stepping into the next tunnel. At the branch they went up the path and found a small room. It's walls were smoothly carved, and there were old chairs around a table and a ladder with a trapdoor above it.

'Up there.' said Linva, letting her climb up first.

Behind the trapdoor Sana discovered an empty room. The daylight streamed in through the clouded glass in milky rays. She helped Ikalla and Linva up and closed the trapdoor. There was a moment of stillness, and they caught their breath, before Sana turned to Linva and asked: 'And now?'

The girl looked uncertainly from her to Ikalla, and then said: 'I don't know. Maybe we should wait for Alexia.'

Sana looked at the trapdoor, and then at the window. We can't stay here. We may be safer in public. She looked at her arm. It would stand out too much. Lastly, it wasn't only witches that might be a danger to them, but also curious guards who might want to see their identity papers. She looked again at the trapdoor. She hoped that if someone came through it it would be Alexia.

Ikalla said: 'We should wait until darkness falls. Then your arm won't stick out so much.'

Sana nodded and then looked at Linva, who bashfully avoided her gaze. 'You're Linva Onaziz, right?'

The girl nodded.

Sana said: 'You don't have to be afraid now. We're here to protect you from the witches.' She saw the girl wince at the word "witches". Poor thing, thought Sana. She felt Iza slide from her shoulders and watched as the harpy went to Linva.

She hugged the girl and said: 'We'll take care of you.'

>>53792323

'You can talk.' she blurted out, wide eyed.

'I'm Iza.' said the harpy, breaking away from her.

Sana saw the girl visibly relax, and then she said: 'Who actually are you? Alexia said that you were looking for me and wanted to help me, but I don't know who could do anything against the witches.' Her gaze fell on Sana's arm.

'I'm Sana and this is Ikalla. We're working with someone by the name of Roa to destroy the Nightshadow witches. But for that we need your help.'

The girl frowned and said: 'I don't know how I can help you.'

'Information.' said Ikalla. She continued: 'We must know everything about the witches that you can tell us. We have your brother's diary.'

Her eyes began to water and she bit her lower lip. 'I had to flee.' she said. 'My parents were always... strange, but I heard them talking in the kitchen one night. They wanted to meet with the other families in Wynzakand and give me to the Collias. The witch-family.

'Witch-family?' asked Sana. 'Doesn't anyone in the Imperium know that they are witches?'

'No.' the girl said, shaking her head. 'But I don't want to become a witch, so I ran away.'

Sana said: 'We'll bring you to Roa and he will get you to safety with the Golden Eye. Then you can tell them everything that you know.'

The girl looked at her, questioningly at first, then finally she nodded.

'Who is Alexia?' asked Ikalla.

Linva answered: 'She saved me from a group of men; they'd found my sleeping place, in an abandoned backyard. She said that she knew who I was, and that I would be safe with her. But I don't know anything more about her other than her name and that she commands magic.'

'I don't trust this Alexia.' said Ikalla, and she sat down by the wall and lay her hands in her lap.

Sana said: 'Yeah, she's really mysterious. She knew we were looking for Linva, and about Roa.'

'I trust her.' said Linva.

>>53792339


The longer they waited, the more tense Sana got. Her eyes kept falling back on the trapdoor, which never opened. She asked herself several times what had happened to Alexia. The evening came, and then night finally fell. She heard her stomach growl. The rumbling woke Iza, who had been sleeping with her head on Sana's lap for some time. She saw that Ikalla, at the wall opposite her, had also closed her eyes. Next to her sat Linva, her gaze resting on Sana's arm.

'What is that?' the girl asked, carefully stroking Sana's arm.

'Good question.' she answered. She continued: 'A spirit, which is now my heart and my arm. It reacts to my emotions and lends me strength.' She stood up and lifted Iza up onto her shoulders. 'Ikalla.' she said, and the girl sat up. 'We should get out of here. Roa's definitely worrying by now.'

'He's more worried about Linva and her information than us.' she said, stretching.

They left the room through a door that led to a small corridor, which then led to a door. Behind it lay an empty street. The lanterns shone brightly.

'I have no idea where we are, or how we can find our way back.' said Sana, as she looked furtively through the doorway. She took her bag and pulled out Roa's map. But that was no help.

'Let me see.' said Linva, and she pulled the paper out of Sana's hand. 'Oh, I know where the bank is. Follow me.' Immediately she went off, and Sana followed her.

When a young couple came near them, Sana hid her arm as well as she could at her side and back. They came to a main street, where there were a few people to be seen. On one corner stood two guards, talking amongst themselves.

Fortunately Linva led them away from them. After a short march they passed by a Trimurtian church, which Sana recognised. The plaza with the statue couldn't be much further.

When they finally reached it, Sana breathed a sigh of relief. They quickly crossed it. As they passed the statue, a female voice thundered from above: 'Linva!'

>>53792351

Startled, Sana looked up and recognised the black beast, which was clinging to the chest of the figure like a lizard. The witch stood on its back between the spines, arms crossed.

She said: 'Your parents are very sad about your disappearance.'

Sana quickly set Iza down and gave Ikalla the leash. She said 'Take her and Linva to Roa. Quickly!'

Ikalla took Linva's hand and ran off. With a loud cracking of shattering stone, the monster landed in front of Ikalla and Linva.

The witch said: 'You're going nowhere. You're tonight's dinner for my Mahr.' The monster under her tore its mouth out of the blackness and roared.

Her arm pulsating, Sana intervened. He heart pounded and fear ran down her spine. She had no idea what witches and their Mahren were capable of, what magic they could invoke. Maybe she would simply be eaten. Or just killed. Rait, lost forever, and Ikalla and Iza dead. Just like Linva.

She let her fear flood over her, and shrouded herself in blackness.


----------


The end - for now. I'll maybe do a googledocs link with all the chapters I've done together. It'll also be on the wiki page, which I really need to get around to updating (now that I've finished this it should happen soon. I've been really busy recently so all the time I could spare has gone on this.)

>>53783634
> Maybe I was just unlucky
No, that's exactly how I've found /lit/ to be as well. That's the reason I do this thread here, rather than on /lit/. But there must be some people on /lit/ who are both interested in writing AND not complete douchebags. Maybe I'll be able to lure some over.

>I may have something to post after all. It's small and pointless
either way I look forward to it. I miss your posts, Czechfag.

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I hope theses threads will stick around. I don't contribute much aside from posting pictures and bumping the thread but I like the stories posted here, there's usually a lot of inspiration in them

>>53779067
You see after the first two days she started acting even crazier, she started singing off tune, screeching randomly and of course, yell about "CHANGE! SPARE CHANGE PLEASE???" And that sort of thing.

It got even more disturbing and somewhat even disgusting when she started having vermin crawling all over her. Apparently her horrid singing's attracted some rats to crawl around and hang with her. I swear I was there along with other folk who were obviously disgusted by such a thing.

That crap continued till day five since the day passer-bys saw her on Ambervale. How's she doing now? Where is she? Is she on a different venue now? Nope, she's gone. Most likely some concerned citizen, or citizens. Decided to call the authorities and I was there the day cops and people from the mental hospital came to pick her up. The guys from the mental hospital who're to pick her up were in some hazmat gear likely 'cause of the fact she was covered in fucking rats and other vermin. While cops were there to help protect those mental asylum guys and make sure that "Pauper Princess" would not do anything wild considering she's crazy and likely fucking insane. And so that "Pauper Princess" was hauled away in a paddy wagon by the mental hospital personnel and off they went to the crazy house to have her kept and away from the public.

And that there was the last time anyone's saw that crazy singing bum-princess. Of course I do honestly hope she's okay and gonna be doing well with rehabilitation. But other than that, no word about her, nothing in the local news saying about some looney female hobo dressed as a princess. Singing and have goddamn rats around her. But hey, surely she'll do fine in a place with professional help.

#

There you go thread. I hope I've helped kept the thread alive. And Chronicler I do wish some luck for you and don't kill the storythreads. I actually do love 'em. And thanks for giving them to us too.

OK, so I got distracted by alcohol. I'm just gonna post this, it's just a single post. I am really bent out of shape.
I think it may have been inspired by an image, but I am not sure anymore.

>Coming of Age
I keep watching the silhouette of a city beneath the surface of the water.
I have been coming to the sea shore for as long as I can remember. To watch the glistening towers of the city, to see the bustle of the sea-life in its gold-paved streets, just beneath that thin veil of salt water and foam. It looks like it’s just within the hands reach. But every time I reach out to it, the water recedes, taking the image further away, revealing only wet, lifeless sand beneath the surface, littered with decaying kelp.
Maybe it’s the reflection of light that makes it seem closer than it really is? Maybe it’s all just a cruel, torturous illusion of some malevolent sea god?
I can’t say how many days I wasted away, watching the sea and dreaming what it could be to visit the town one day. How I longed to walk beneath its emerald towers, to see my reflection in silver windows, hear the ringing of its crystal bells.
The sea tempts me: every wave brings the city a little closer to me, and then pulls it away.
I have been patient, and I kept coming back. But so far, my patience has been rewarded only with the sharp stench of dead sea creatures, a few worn out sea shells with crude symbols scratched upon their surface, and a tiny plate of gold, no doubt chipped of one of the many grand roofs and thrown at my feet by the tide. Each one of these items was just another bitter reminder that the city exists, that still lies somewhere there, just beyond my reach - real, beautiful, waiting.
It would be more merciful to withhold those proofs of the city’s existence from me. Now I can’t find solace in the thought that the city has been a mere figment of my imagination. To resist the urge to think that the sea is doing this just to spite me: that is my life’s battle.

>>53798355
How do write such an image?
Without excessive purple prose.

>>53802738
Write it with the purple prose, and then cut, cut, cut.

But only cut after you've had someone else read it through first. Excessive verbosity may generally be discouraged, but people can only critique the stuff you leave in, not the stuff you've already cut.

>>53802738
I don't know - try it and find out

>>53779067
>>53797481
That's a pretty good take on that pic. Good story, Oxide - especially given how short it is, you still manage to get everything important in. But as for the nuts and bolts of your writing - at one point you start a new sentence in the middle of a sentence:
>Most likely some concerned citizen, or citizens. Decided to call the authorities and I was there the day cops and people from the mental hospital came to pick her up.
And there's a couple of other grammatical problems as well, which you could probably have fixed with just a tiny bit of editing.

>>53798919
This is cool. Atmospheric, like all your work, Czechfag. Your prose is as good as always, except for one or two-places where it feels over-written.
For example, I think your sentence structure here:
>But every time I reach out to it, the water recedes, taking the image further away, revealing only wet, lifeless sand beneath the surface, littered with decaying kelp.
would feel a little more natural if you left off 'littered with decaying kelp'

The tone of it actually reminds me a little of Lovecraft's dreamlands stories. Pity what you've got is so short, but I'll take what I can get.


Either way, thank you both - Oxide and Czechfag - for contributing. They're good contributions, and they're the sort of thing that makes me feel that doing this thread is worthwhile.

>>53809510
Courtesy bump while I work on something.

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Dunno if I should post here or on world-building thread, guess it doesn't matter.
TL:DR "Steampunk" aesthetic with magic.
>Almost everyone can do magic, but it's weak, nothing more than starting a fire every night for heat, light and cooking.
>This leads to technology never advancing above late 18th century tech in most areas.
>No electric tech, beyond the experimental. Cause "what's the use", no profit for "investors". (Everyone already have what electricity gave us in our world, before internet and computers ofc)

>Magic is like IQ
>You'd need like 150 "magic IQ" to do anything resembling magic of other fantasy worlds.
>Even then, that would be nothing more than what Geralt can do in Witcher books/games.
>But if you got genius level "magic-iq" like 200+, something like one in a million. Then we got a party. And problems.

Just an idea I would find interesting. If I could write, or dared to.
Fucking hate hero/chosen one stories, guess everyone here does.
Really like multiple perspectives, like short stories within a greater story. Two pages could just be in the POV of a lowly guard and a shitty night. (More often than what most novels do. Like every other chapter having it.)
...

>>53813309
Would naturally be an elitist (but not fascist) magic meritocracy/oligarchy.
Children showing signs of high magic gets sent off to "school".

>Steampunk aesthetic enhanced by magic
>Like structures and great machines disobeying laws of physics thanks to magic
>...thanks to magic...
>Have superstructures collapse in slums/ghettos cause the magic that held it up isn't reinforced.

But I would never write with world as main subject of anything.
To me dialogue is the most important thing, dialogue and interesting characters. If your book doesn't have this, it's just another block of wood for the pyre.
Guess George R.R. Martin got that right.

>>53813309
Sure, why not? Every little helps

>>53711273
I've been writing my stories as interactive youtube videos but I guess it's the same stuff

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wMOPI-Cz4c0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wMOPI-Cz4c0

>>53816327
That's a really cool idea! I think you'd be better off just reading it yourself though; the computer voice sounds terrible. Your background looks good, but maybe you could use the pictures to illustrate what the narrator is saying as well.

The plot seems like pretty standard low fantasy. I think you need more of a hook in the first video - you really need to grab the reader (listener).

>>53813309
>>53813406
when you say magic is like IQ, do you mean that you need to be smart to use magic, or is it a separate thing so that you can be really bad at maths and still have a natural aptitude for magic? If the former, that opens up a lot of interesting question about what the world would look like if the smartest were also the best fighters; maybe you'd see nerds bullying everyone or something. I don't know.

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I wrote a short story for 40k. Just two notes about it before reading.
It's not actually a short story, but rather it's meant to be read as a prologue to a 40k book. So this would serve as the introduction to draw people in, like most 40k books starts off, while the book would be about the events shortly after.
And the names are placeholders. I absolutely suck with coming up with names, especially relevant ones.


Sergeant Brock slammed into a pile of rubble, the sudden arrest of momentum violently expelling all air out of his lungs and momentarily knocking him unconscious. The first thing he noticed when he came to his senses was his Chimera. It was stationary just a few meters away from him, small wisps of smoke surrounding it. It appeared almost perfectly fine from his point of view, with only the urban camouflage paint partially stripped away by shrapnel, the squad markings on it still proudly shining a bright red. But he instinctively knew that the troop compartment was a slaughter house, his men perforated inside. He only survived due to being thrown out of the gunners stand when Hammond sharply turned the vehicle. One moment Brock was manning the heavy bolter, venting his rage at their failure and the denial of air support by ineffectively shooting at the pursuing Marauders, the next he was flying through the air. The crash made him dizzy and he could not immediately focus on his surroundings. The air was thick with smoke, flying shrapnel and all kinds of projectiles whizzing and cracking around, the sounds of war a constant backdrop to the screams of the dead and the dying. And by the Throne, they were dying. Men and women of Vrans had failed in their attack and were now fighting for survival against the heretical forces.

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>>53821225
The anger of their sudden defeat stung at him yet again and he shook his head clear. A quick scan of the battlefield made him realize that things have gotten even worse. There were still Imperial vehicles fighting around him, but only Leman Russes remained, their front armour turned towards the pursuers and constantly firing at targets he could not see. There were no intact Chimeras or Hydras, only burning wrecks with bodies strewn about. Bright red lines were flashing from some of the destroyed vehicles or bomb craters, accompanied by an occasional missile and even the brighter shots from lascanons. Most importantly, there was no sign of any of the Vransian super heavies, operational or destroyed, and the skies were clear of any aircraft. To Brock, an experienced guardsman, it was clear what was happening here. The forward airfield had still not been retaken from the xeno mercenaries, so these soldiers stayed behind to stall the enemy advance in hopes that the bulk of Imperial forces could reach safety. He slowly picked himself up, unholstered his laspistol and with a silent prayer to the Emperor on his lips went to join the last stand of the Vransian vanguard.


Any thoughts and criticisms would be extremely welcome, especially about my writing style.

>>53821225
>>53821274
Hmm... it's not so much that your prose is bad, as that it doesn't fit what you're trying to describe. In a battle scene you should be using simple words and short, punchy sentence structures. Your phrasing and pace is too measured and verbose for what you're trying to do. I mean, just in the first sentence I would change:
>Sergeant Brock slammed into a pile of rubble, the sudden arrest of momentum violently expelling all air out of his lungs and momentarily knocking him unconscious. The first thing he noticed when he came to his senses was his Chimera.
to
>Sergeant Brock slammed into a pile of rubble. The sudden, violent impact knocked the air out of his lungs. For a moment he was unconscious, but he came to his senses seconds later. The first thing he noticed was his Chimera.


I think you've picked a good scene for a prologue - it catches the reader's attention. Your set up the scene well, it's just the wording that needs work.


If you want a few tips on names in 40k, for ordinary troopers I like to pick an ordinary English name and then alter the vowel sounds so it seems like it's gone through forty thousand years of evolution. 'Brock' is a hard one to start off with, but you might end up with something like 'Breik'. Hammond - Emmend (go on, say Hammond with a New Zealand accent and you'll see what I mean). That's if you want a certain authenticity that is, I won't say it's always what sounds the best. For the planet itself I'd normally pick something pseudo-Latin. 'Vrans' sound a bit too xenos. Maybe say the official name is something like Ivarania IX, which gets shortened to 'Vrans' in the local Low Gothic dialect.

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>want to write a "mythological creatures are real just behind a veil of normalcy" setting
>can't think of a compelling plot aside from "prevent doomsday"
Come to think of it, is "stop evil guy from ruining world" actually strangely common in sci-fi/fantasy, or is it just my experience/confirmation bias?

>>53828812
Its not just your imagination, and I'd you want a better plot try creating your antagonist character first. Their motivations will naturally lead you to your plot.

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Is it wrong that because I'm gay I feel it's more natural writing gay romances rather than straight romances?

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>>53831451
I'd say it's pretty understandable, actually.

>>53831451
That is about what I'd expect, honestly.

>>53730141
It's been years since I last went to Endor.

I was part of the Base Security team when those Rebels came knocking. In the first couple bits of turmoil, I was shuttled along to an AT-AT. We were one of the last out there, after those damn Ewoks nearly wrecked all our AT-ST and Patrol forces. Hell, by the point we were out, half of our AT-AT forces were already feeling the hurt from A-Wing Blitzes. While I and a prized few thousand got to stand on edge while walking in a giant box, countless thousands more stormtroopers were getting shot down by crafty Rebels who coordinated those blitzes.

Can't say I was too enthused by the thought. Even during those hours on the thing, all we could worry about was how we'd fend off the Rebels attacking us. It reminded me of the stories people said about Hoth, about how these hotshots managed to tie up and crash every AT-AT that was deployed. The entire time, I kept bothering the maintenance crews to keep an eye on ground level just because of that. Lots of bikes sped by the thing's feet, ridden by both sides. I remember that fight taking what felt like weeks, we only took like four hours for breaks just because we were worried some Rebels might pop up while we were asleep.

And then, all of a sudden, everyone in the Empire got an emergency announcement.
The Emperor had fallen, and with him the Galactic Empire. We were done, and we never knew how. Shortly afterward, some of us decided to turn ourselves in. Others were too stubborn and tried to threaten us, but they were quickly overthrown. After spending so long being paranoid of an attack, I think the actual threat was all we needed to be set off. Shortly after, we got off and hoped that the new government wouldn't be so harsh on us.

Turns out, we were right. We were just soldiers, doing our job. We didn't really get much of a sentence as it was an offer to join the new Empire as soldiers. I was tenured as a drill instructor, teaching new recruits whatever I learned.

>>53833868
I found ways to mix the rigid old Imperial Indoctrination and discipline with the craftiness the Rebels managed to show us out there. I wasn't exactly thrilled by teaching the people who beat me what I knew, but this was better than serving a sentence as a war criminal. By the end of my tenure, I managed to train up about half a platoon of conscripts, all ready to serve this new Empire.

After my tenure was up, I decided to go home. I had been a long time since I went there, and my family was more than excited to know that I was let off by the Empire. My sister had gotten married since I last saw her, and now they were expecting. My mom was retired now. Thanks to the Rebels, my paycheck wasn't cut off. It was actually raised as thanks for my time as a drill instructor. It actually made me really happy I was able to provide something to my family.

Shortly afterward, I decided to take a trip to visit Endor again. Can't exactly explain why I wanted to go there, but I felt the urge something fierce.
It was funny, I wasn't the only one who came. I recognized some of the other guys who dropped by. Some of them were part of the base crew, and some of them were even on the AT-AT I was on. Others were guys from other bases in the Old Empire, who wanted to know what the last stand of Palpatine's Empire looked like. Some of the walkers were still there, to our surprise, but the years of neglect had definitely taken their toll. I especially remember where ours was -- We left it in the middle of this lake, and it seems like it lost a leg since we last left it. It looked all overgrown now with all this moss. It sorta felt weird now that we saw it, like we made our own museum piece. We all kinda bonded over it, the idea that we weren't soldiers of the old Empire anymore, how we still felt that urge to report like we still were. As a result, we decided to form this survivor's network for old Imperials like us.

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>>53830752
Considering the setting, do you think a chaos spirit messing with stuff would work? I'm kind of partial towards "because it's fun" as a motivation, rather bored of WELL FROM MY PERSPECTIVE IT'S THE JEDI WHO ARE EVIL type stuff.

>>53835494
I think an antagonist whose does things because 'lol so random', and essentially doesn't have a motivation, might be pretty boring.

I don't know. It's your character. Like I said, just come up with the most interesting antagonist you can and just let him act according to his nature. If you can make an interesting chaos spirit who does things just for the hell of it then go with that.

>>53835494
I think attempting to explain it is pointless. It's a chaos spirit, literal embodiment of CHAOS itself, right?
Chaos is universally, across all cultures identified as one of the two principles of universe - chaos and order is literally what the world consists off. I think trying to give it psychological qualities is completely missing the point. It's an archetypal principle, not a psychological creature. Messing with stuff should be his actual nature.

This guy has a lot of interesting thoughts on mythological principles, particularly on chaos and order. This lecture is specifically targeted at chaos.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=44dcUoh0oT4

Accidentally posted in the L5r sorythread. Oops. Here's what I have going on. Just a few short stories written (3k but unfinished). Writing is really barebones and I haven't fluffed the prose up at all yet, but here is the plots.

>elven fisherman of the tropical south spots a shipwreck moored on a reef, calls local magistrate to investigate
>tl;dr there are two pale-skinned and wide-mouthed anthropophagi below deck who kill two of the rescuers who barely escape with their lives
>the ship was exploring uncharted islands to the south before returning with its terrifying cargo

Another short story
>Northman village on winter festival night. Lots of strangers around
>drunk town bully spots ugly southern man lurking in the back of the inn's common room, decides to teach him a lesson for "ruining everyone's fun"
>man becomes panicked and shapeshifts into a wolf, killing him and fleeing into the night

Prelude to longer story
>researcher from society of mages/historians/geographers sent to investigate supernatural occurrences in a magic-fearing earldom in the north
>vanquish creature in disturbed barrow outside of town
>turns out a draugr (revenant, drinks blood for power, can cause terror with a glance and pass through solid rock) came from a village to the north
>was once from an enemy of the clan who built the barrow, wanted to desecrate their graves and terrorize their living descendants

>>53837686
the first one seems like the most interesting, if you're wondering what to work on first.

>>53836903
every week at least one pic of a human woman with an elf male gets posted. And it's not even teh same pic each time.

I wasn't aware that this was a thing, but apparently it is. Maybe I'll write something for this later.

>>53834206
We'd go to old starbases, hideouts, and war sites, walking through our familiar old haunts. Some of us who served there told stories about what life was like there, reminiscing about our old lives in the Empire. We talked about what happened to us after the Empire. We all were just looking for something to bond over now that we were out of the job, so I think that the network was good for us in that way.

It took us a while, but eventually we got recognized as a legit group. We got official labels, support from the Empire, we even got a letter of recognition from Chancellor Organa herself. I was surprised at that, I was expecting her to be still mad about Alderaan.

Nowadays, us founders don't just limit ourselves to merely members of the Empire. The Veteran's Society is a means for all soldiers, mercenaries, and other military to connect, network, get counseling, and just help each other out of transitioning from just being soldiers to normal life. I still drop by too, leading a big cruise reaching through some of the iconic sites like Endor and Hoth and telling the stories I remember to those who come by.

It's been a long time since I was a soldier, but that doesn't mean that we should ever be forgotten.

>>53803435
>>53802738
Purple prose?

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>>53842992
prose that is overly verbose and self-indulgent. It always puts me in mind of an over-excited orator cramming so many long words into his sentence that as his face turns blue from lack of oxygen it combines with the flush of his excitement to turn his face purple.

I have no idea if that is the origin of the phrase, but I doubt it. It is, however, a nice visual way of remembering it.

Phone bump

>>53839914
O really? I never cared nor paid attention to such a minor trend. Also you really gonna make a story for the pic at >>53836903 ?

Funny since I too was thinking of making a story for it too. And it'll be setting place in the same setting as my Cedna Accord Stories:

>https://1d4chan.org/images/d/de/TheDeclarationOfSurrendependence.png

>https://1d4chan.org/images/4/4e/Lessons.png

>https://1d4chan.org/images/6/60/FurtherEducation.png

Perhaps an elven diplomat/ambassador being sent to do talks with people of a recently discovered country that's not!Japan?

What do you think of fair people of the storythreads?

>>53760304
pain ran through jacks body. like lightning fire it danced and crackled through his veins.

forcing the pain from his mind with a superhuman effort, he clawed his way to his knees. ash fell from his shoulders like snow and thye scent of burning and decay assaulted his feeble frame wracking him with heaves and gaging.

when the assault of the senses had passed he look around the desolate field the remains of his comrades and the cursed enemy littering the ground one to three layers deep, a morbid carpet to protect the enemy lords from touching the ground.

looking to the south he saw it, the wave that flickered and danced in his perception, the shining light and the suffocating darkness that raised and fell each trying to out do the other. the enemies advancing forces and jacks retreating forces.

and looking closer there one was. a despicable demon in human shape, defiling the sanctity of human form, desecrating their visage both in mockery and literally as pale green lightning lanced from his hands to the masses of combatants. their foul magiks erring away from their forces while stikeing his own, in mad defiance of reality and its laws.

what you guys think?

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>>53850279
Very descriptive, and I like some of the phrases in particular (e.g. the morbid carpet bit).
Your spelling and punctuation is a bit dodgy, though; I had to guess at a word a few times.

>>53850575
heh sorry about that, me and grammar have very different ideas on what's what. i.e. I try and do it as I can, and grammar tells me I'm doing it wrong

but thanks for the criticism any other thoughts, comments or a desire for me to continue?

>>53850738
Of course we want you to keep going. Just edit a little more carefully

>>53850062
>Also you really gonna make a story for the pic at >>53836903 ?
yeah, I was thinking of having a go at it. Don't let that stop you from doing your thing, though. There's no rule that says there has to be only one story per picture.

Looking for the guy that posted in the "novel" thread couple days ago.
Had great writing, it was about a revolt/riot/war in a city. I didn't have time to read it all.

>>53859822
Do you mean this?
https://1d4chan.org/images/f/ff/CityAflame.png

>>53859980
Yes thanks!
He/you said it was old, so this critique might be useless.
Great use of words and every sentence flow with purpose.
Of course there are some unnecessary "ands" & other "falsely" placed conjunctions/suffixes/inflections etc.
I guess using ''and'' at the beginning of a sentence is ok? Might even be preferred in some occasions.

It's great prose.

>>53860473
That is one of mine, from about a year ago. Thanks for taking the time to comment on it, and I'm glad you think so highly of it. I probably do have a tendency to use 'and' too often; especially at the beginning of the sentence, although in some places it's appropriate.

If you (or any other anon) likes my work, I have plenty of stories on the wiki page.
https://1d4chan.org/wiki/Storythread
Some of them are better than others. I think 'City Aflame' is one of my better works.

My stories in the main section are 110 through to 156, 163, 197, 300 to 308, 400 to 410, 500 to 504, 600, then in the warhammer section 7, 29, 43, 64, 65, 66, 84 and 85. The battletech story is mine, and in the non-picture section 50 to 55 are mine, plus the Chimera extra 'cynic' and 'Czech soldier' stories.

>>53860650
Well i mainly like it cause,"every" word is used with its correct meaning.
No clueless thesaurus wanking.

>>53836903

It has been nearly a month since I have travelled from Chimax to a recently discovered land of Yazaki, also known as "The Land of Clouds and Mists." Indeed it is true, the land of Yazaki is indeed rich in cloudy and misty weather and in my whole life as a four hundred and seventy-six elf that’s seen and witnessed many things in his life. Never had I seen a land with such common cloudy weather and fog. The only country or place outside of Yazaki that I've seen having such a similar signature cloudy climate are the far and high northern provinces of recently assimilated Eustran. Though those places in Eustran are mostly gloomy and dark rainy weather, while here in Yazaki it’s all cool and even cozy cloudy days and fogs.

But Yazaki does have its fair share of sunny days and rainy ones too, but because of this foregin land's signature cloudy climate and cool winds. The brightest and usually hot sunny days are crisp and cool, so cool that you wouldn't be sweating while wearing wool layers. I definitely indulged in this land's cool climate, as a matter of fact. My fellow elven brethren who're serving as escort guards, fellow dignitaries and companions thought we mistakenly went to the further top regions of Eustran where it is mostly winter and cold weather but were shocked to realize that we were indeed setting foot in the cloudy and misty lands of Yazaki. Even the Briastrinian Human personnel and soldiers who were coming along with us were unprepared and did not expect the land we were going to have such chilly climate with no snow at all. But we all managed to handle through unexpected coldness since while it was chilly; the coldness was neither that bad nor strong. And the magic users within our group and company helped keep us and themselves warm with little flames they project and emit from their palms.

----
.will continue by tommorow

>>53836903
>>53867176

There you go, I shall continue likely tomorrow. And hey, let’s all help keep this thread and the storythreads in general alive, happy and well shall we? I wana finish this story for this week.

>>53822394
>it's not so much...
I honestly can't tell, are you saying my prose is bad?
Now if I assume you think it's ok. You are the first person to critize the wording/sentence flow. I see your point, but I disagree with it. I think that being descriptive is pretty important, as long as you don't overdo it. In fact, I don't really like your fix that much. But to be fair, I'm incredibly biased in this kind of thing. In English or my native language, I have always preferred to write longer sentences so naturally the prose reflects that.

>>53868044
>I honestly can't tell, are you saying my prose is bad?
What's your first language? I think you might still be missing some of the nuances of English.

As a quick note I saw you mixed up your tenses here:
>A quick scan of the battlefield made him realize that things have gotten even worse.

Actually, now that I read it back I also think you have too much of a preference for the continuous past over the perfect. You focus on saying precisely what you mean, when any English speaker would be able to pick up what was implied anyway.
>Bright red lines were flashing from some of the destroyed vehicles or bomb craters
'Bright red lines flashed' seems to me the more natural way of saying that in this case. Technically you're correct, because the action is ongoing, but the reader can tell that anyway. If you were trying to emphasise that it's happening /while/ the character is doing something you'd use the continuous past, eg: 'Bright red lines were flashing from destroyed vehicles and bomb craters as the sergeant dragged himself to his feet.'

If we're going to get really picky I think it should be 'destroyed vehicles and bomb craters', not 'or'. Also 'some of ' is redundant. You can just drop the 'the', because without the definite article it's implied that you're not necessarily referring to all the vehicles. 'Bright red lines flashed from destroyed vehicles and bomb craters, accompanied by an occasional missile and even the brighter shots from lascanons.'

Other than that, your prose would generally be okay if you were describing a scene with no action in it. Still a bit verbose, maybe, but not too bad. However, I really do think an action scene loses a lot of its sense of urgency if you don't pay attention to how your sentences flow, as well as what you're actually saying.

I'm not saying it's so bad that you /have/ to change it. I'm certainly not saying that the example I gave is the best alternative. But you did ask for a critique of your writing style.

>>53836903


'He will find us, my love. No matter how far we run, no matter how well we hide. No one can outrun the Guardians.' Lady Yi's voice was filled with despair and heartbreak.

Birds sang to greet the morning sun. Light, through hazy clouds, washed over the palace and the valley below. Like a painter of watercolours sweeping his brush over the paper, the sun slowly revealed the shapes, and then the details, of the Forbidden Vale through the early morning mists.

Jade green for the rising hills that framed the valley. A wash of the clearest porcelain blue for the Hei river, winding gently through the heart of the vale. Blue with touches of the purest white for the sparkling waterfalls that dropped down the steep sides of the hills. Terracotta browns and clay whites for the city that sprawled across the narrow floor of the valley and clung to its sides. And scarlet for the Qi flowers that wove their way around the beams and railings of the palace. Lady Yi knew them all. She had sat here often enough, on this very balcony, with her brush and her easel, and tried to make the bridge between the beauty she saw before her and the beauty she felt inside her when she looked at it.

What appeared on the crisp, creamy paper would match the scene without ever really conveying her emotions, although she had gotten closer over the years, as if her paintbrush was a chisel that she used to gently chip away at the walls inside her. She suspected it would take more than one lifetime to break through that particular prison, but still, it was something to do to pass the time.

>>53874560

Lady Yi saw a flutter in the corner of her eye. A golden thrush. The palace was full of them, hopping between the eaves, nestling amongst the bright red Qi-blossoms. Their songs rose every morning, as if they were lifting the sun into the sky. As Lady Yi turned to look, the golden thrush bobbed along the curved roof of the pavilion. Then it let out a burst of song, free and clear, and sprang into the air. It glided away from the palace, out over the valley and down towards the verdant slopes.

When she looked back, Celadrion had stepped towards her, so close that they were almost touching. He took her hands in his.

'He cannot truly care so much, my lady. How many times has he even seen you in the last months? Were you gone, I cannot imagine he would even notice, much less care.' His silver-grey eyes, the colour of his flowing hair, bored into hers. Rarely were they anything but cool, clear pools, but now there was a passion in them that hinted at the depth of feeling beneath the perfectly calm face he normally showed. His ears, long and folded to a point, were now angled upwards slightly; a sign of his inner struggle that perhaps only Lady Yi would notice.

She withdrew one of her hands from his grip, and caressed his soft, pale cheek. 'Oh, my love. You have lived among us for so long, but how little you know the human heart. Perhaps you simply think too much of us. He may have no desire for me now, now that my youth is gone, but were you to take me away he would fly into a jealous rage and suddenly decide that I am the most precious of his concubines.'

'I understand at least one human heart, my love.' he said softly, in that lilting voice that had never quite lost its elven accent. 'I know yours as deeply as I know my own. I know that you cannot stand life to go on as it is. I know that you would flee this palace in a heartbeat.'

>>53876697

'You are right.' Lady Yi gasped, finally admitting it. 'I would leave this palace - I would leave him - if I could. But I can't. I dare not.' Her eyes fell away from his, and her head sank in shame and despair.

His head bowed towards hers, and his forehead touched hers, gently. The fabric of their robes rustled against each other. His, the crimson of an Imperial Official, a shade not far removed from the powerful tones of the Qi flower. Hers a green more verdant than the richly forested hills and more brilliant than cut and polished emeralds. Red silk ribbons fell from her golden hairbands almost to her ankles; they were translucent in the bright sunlight, and they wove a gentle dance in the slight morning breeze.

'I would risk it. For you, my lady, my love, my world.' He said it as if he were drawing the words up straight from his very heart.

'But why?' Now it was her turn to look deeply, searchingly into his eyes. 'My life will flicker and die, while yours will burn forever. Soon I will wither with age. From your perspective it will be barely an eyeblink before I am an old crone, while you will ever be as perfect as you are now, standing here before me. Why give up everything you have for that? You have been the Loremaster of the Court for decades. Since you came from the West you have advised generations of the Imperial family on matters magical and historical. Of all the elves who fled into exile here, you have been the most constant, the most loyal to the Son of Heaven. How can I let you throw all that away, risk your very life, for me?'

>>53876836

'It is true that I have lived and will live far longer than you.' He took a deep breath, and continued: 'So therefore you know that it is no small thing when I say that I have never met a woman like you, and never expect to again.' He pressed her hand to his chest, and she felt the quick beating of his heart. 'A moment with you is more life than an eternity of scholarship, court rituals and diligent service.' There was harsh edge below the surface his voice there. He sighed, and said softly. 'Oh my love, I know so well that our time together is limited. All the more reason not to waste it. I have spent twenty years already watching you at the end of my fingertips, always so close, always just out of reach.'

This was not quite true. On many occasions over the years they had found opportunities to come much closer to each other than arms length. In a locked, walled garden. In an empty wing of the palace under refurbishment. On a deserted balcony in the depths of a moonless night. Naked bodies locked together in a furtive embrace; they had taken their moments wherever they could find them.

But in a deeper, spiritual sense it was true. They had to be so careful, for in a palace there were eyes everywhere. There were moments of intimacy, but always the freedom to truly love each other was denied to them. Their love was buried deep under twenty years worth of fear and secrecy.

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>>53870322
The original is much better.

>>53876870

'Too long.' Lady Yi whispered. 'Far too long.' In that instant memories overwhelmed her. She remembered coming to the palace as a young teenager, seeing the beauty of the Forbidden Vale for the first time. She remembered her excitement and fear when she was presented to the young Emperor as he sat amidst the glittering splendour of the throne room. She remembered her confusion and pain as he took her for the first time; the beautiful act that had been described to her being nothing more than a few minutes of un-gentle thrusting before he fell into a drunken sleep. She remembered the icy gaze of the Emperor's wife, whom she spent every day with, and the false smiles of the other concubines that hid their empty scheming for power and status. She remembered her loneliness and isolation.

And she remembered the only one in the court who saw her anguish and her desire for real love, the one who comforted her. Just with words and companionship at first. And then with more. In the early years, when she had still been among the Emperor's favourites, their opportunities had been rare. So scarcely did they see each other that it was almost as if their love was a dream; a wonderful feeling only half-remembered when they woke into the prosaic world. But over the years the Son of Heaven had lost interest in pressing his attentions on Lady Yi, and younger women took her place both in the Emperor's chambers and in court functions.

As Lady Yi had been severed from her distractions, left by the court to age like a pruned blossom fallen to the ground, there had been nothing else for her to do but consider her true feelings. There was no denying it any more. For both of them, their love was more real than anything else around them now.

'Then come with me. Come away with me.' he whispered urgently.

>>53876906

Lady Yi shook her head. 'He'd find us. You know better than anyone that the Guardians would hunt us down to the ends of the earth.' The four Gǒshi stood watch at the entrance to the palace. Held in bestial granite statues twice as high as a man, the spirits had the tenacity of a dog and the ferocity of a lion. They guarded the palace from those who wished harm to the Son of Heaven, but on rare occasions they would be let loose into the wider world to hunt down the Emperor's enemies. They never lost a trail, and they never failed to claim their prey.

There was probably no one alive who understood the powerful magic of the Gǒshi better than the Loremaster of the Imperial Court.

'Tell me I'm wrong.' Lady Yi exclaimed, half in hope, half in despair. 'Tell me that there's some way to escape the Guardians.'

Celadrion was silent for a moment. But, unable to meet her eyes any longer, he looked away, and then slightly, reluctantly, he shook his head. 'I cannot block their magic. I cannot fight them. They would track us, they would find us, and when they did there would be nothing I could do to protect you from them. From him.'

Lady Yi lay her face on her lover's chest. A lock of her hair fell over her cheek; it was grey. Most of her hair was still a dark, lustrous black, but age was creeping over her. Her skin was still smooth, her body still firm, her beauty intact... for now. But for that one lock of greying hair you would never guess her age. But she refused to dye it out of pure defiance.

She felt his hand brush her hair away from her face. She sighed as his fingers brushed her cheek. A gust of wind whipped at the ribbons hanging from her hair, and Lady Yi looked out at the sky. And then down, over the edge of the balcony.

'If I jumped from here, how far would I fall?' she asked. 'All the way down to the river? Far enough, at least, to be free of all of this.'

'Hush my love. Don't say such things.'

>>53876929

'I'm sorry, but I cannot bear this. If only I could jump from here and fly away into the sky, soaring like a bird.' Lady Yi's gaze was fixed on the horizon.

But she felt Celadrion pause. She looked up at him, questioningly. 'I /could/ transform you into a bird.' he said slowly. 'It is a very complex magic, but it is not beyond my powers. But the Guardians would know the scent of your spirit anyway. It wouldn't matter what form you were in, they would still track you.'

'If only there was some place I could go where they couldn't find me.' said Lady Yi. Maybe she should have him change her anyway, so she could taste freedom if only for but a short while. But without him beside her that freedom would be meaningless, and she would not have him share her fate.

'If only my homeland hadn't fallen.' he said mournfully. 'We would have had the power to deny the Guardians. No human magic could ever breach the borders of our lands. But my homeland is centuries gone. There is not a place in all the world that the Guardians cannot search, save for the Imperial Palace itself.'

'The Guardians cannot enter the palace?' questioned Lady Yi. She had not known this. She, like most people, knew very little specific about the Guardians. They were so rarely released from their stone cages.

'No. They are Gǒshi, and it is not their place to enter their master's house, nor should the ever need to. The whole point is that they are there to stop the Emperor's enemies /before/ they enter the palace. The spells that bind them to the service of the Son of Heaven are explicit: as far as the Guardians are concerned, the universe stops at the palace gates.'

'What a cruel irony.' said Lady Yi. 'We are safe from them in here, but this is the one place in the world that we least want to be.' She smiled thinly. 'Perhaps we should simply hide here. It's a big palace, we could probably last longer in here than out there where the Guardians can track us.'

>>53876954

'But when the Guardians failed to find our scent, the Emperor would know we were still in the palace. And with a relatively small area to search, any competent sage would be able to cast the bones to find our exact location.'

Lady Yi was about to tell him that she hadn't been serious, when she realised that he wasn't talking to her so much as he was thinking through the problem out loud. She sensed the faint hope, and she asked him: 'Isn't there any way to trick the Guardians?'

'Normally, no. They will always home in on the strongest scent, so whatever false trails you lay they will ignore, heading straight for the soul they have been tasked with finding. But if that soul was in the one place they couldn't look...'

Lady Yi was about to question him further, but he placed a finger to her lips and the words died on her tongue. He looked deeply into her eyes, and she looked back into his. Those round, clear eyes, so beautiful compared to her dark ones with their folded corners. Every day she marvelled that a face so foreign to everyone else felt so familiar to her.

'Are you really ready to be free of him?' her lover asked. 'Would you give up everything you have for our love?'

'Everything.' she whispered. 'Everything I ever had and more, if it meant that we could be together.' She wanted to shout it, scream it. She wanted to cry out for the whole valley below her to hear, to proclaim her love to the very heavens. The strength of her emotion - of her certainty - in that moment shocked her.

'I love you, Yi.'

'I love you, Celadrion.' she answered, feeling her tongue slip awkwardly over the unfamiliar syllables. He smiled, a genuine, un-selfconscious smile. Yi was the only one who would ever say his name, for to the rest of the court he was known only by his title, and most of those who could speak to him in his own language were long passed from the world.

>>53876972

He kissed her, long and deep. As as he did so, he reached up behind her head and unclipped one of the ribbons from her hair.

They broke away from each other and she watched, curiously, as he ran his hands over the ribbon, up and down it, stroking it, coaxing it. As he did so he whispered words that she did not understand. And as his magic worked, the ribbon began to change. The dancing, fluttering red ribbon shimmered and shifted, until suddenly skipping about in mid-air was a hare. Or at least the idea of a hare, for it was still red, and translucent in the bright sunlight.

Celadrion spoke to it now it a low but commanding voice: 'Speed of the wind, fear of the chase. Know what you are. North, hare - run far.' And with a start that made Yi jump the spirit-hare sped off, straight over the balcony and on, out over the valley towards the horizon.

Then, one by one, he took the other three ribbons from her hair. Each time, a different animal, with different words.

'Fox, too keen, too quick, too sly, too slick. Every trick a fox knew first, run east and let them do their worst.'

'Honoured, venerable, much respected, very able. South, rat - reasonable one, responsible one. Run!'

'Half a pace, half a mile, half a world onward. Horse, chase the line of the setting sun westward.'

One by one they ran off, galloping, scurrying, bounding away in mid-air. Each in a different direction. When he was finished, Celadrion turned back to Yi.

'There. One for each of the four Gǒshi. You have worn those ribbons for a long time: long enough for them to pick up the echo of your spirit. The Guardians will sense them, and with no other trail to follow will give chase. Let them pursue your ribbons to the four corners of the earth. In the meantime, no one will suspect that you are still here. There is just one more thing...' he raised his hands, and for a moment Yi thought he was going to embrace her again.

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>>53876988

Then she felt her robes fluttering. They tightened around her, the bright green fabric shrinking into her skin. She gasped. It wasn't painful, but it was the strangest thing she had ever experienced. She held out her arm, and marvelled as the cloth began to shift into the shape of a wing. Suddenly everything around her started getting bigger - no, she was shrinking. But Yi trusted Celadrion with all her heart. She wasn't afraid.

She was finally free.

A few moments later, a sunbird with iridescent green plumage jumped into the air and fluttered unsteadily to the nearest knot of Qi flowers. Celadrion held out his hand, and the sunbird hopped onto his palm.

'There. Now you may roam about the palace as you please, and no one will ever suspect it is you. Fly freely, but remember never to go beyond the palace walls, lest the Guardians catch your trail. Do not worry, my love - we will not be parted. This enchantment lasts only by the light of the sun. In the daytime I can sit here and listen to your song, and then when evening comes and the sun begins to dip below the horizon, come to the window of my chamber. Then we can be together, and we need not fear discovery for there will be no eyes watching to see if you are in your apartment, no one to gossip that your dress was disarrayed, or that you were behaving secretively. By being together, we will be free.'

The sunbird chirped happily. Celadrion smiled at her, and then stretched his hand up. She took to the air, wings beating joyfully as they felt flight for the first time. Away she went, soaring up over the roofs of the vast, hilltop palace.

Celadrion knew that he would see her again, in a few hours. He looked out over the valley towards the sun, watching as it climbed towards midday. It shone more brightly and more clearly than his mind's eye remembered it shining for many years.


* * *

>>53876903
Uhhmmm... Source plox?

>>53867176

As we were all closing in to the port of Kurosato, (the capital of the Yahakanai province, I’ll explain that by later) we saw the unique and different architecture of the land of Yazaki. The building’s style and aesthetic definitely would please any aficionado in architecture. Posts and lintels support a large and gently curved roof, while the walls are paper-thin, often movable and never load-bearing. Arches and barrel roofs are completely absent. Inner space divisions are fluid, and room size can be modified through the use of screens or movable paper walls. The large, single space offered by the main hall can therefore be divided according to the need. Such as some walls can be removed and different rooms joined temporarily to make space for some more guests. But enough of that, for I think it’s best to leave the gushing of architecture to an actual architect.

Kurosato, the capital of the Yahakanai Province, ruled by a feudal lord named Nanba Naokiyo and his sister, Lady Kisano. And it appears Yazaki is divided into three different feudal states: First is Yahakanai, primarily ruled by a human majority, though they are tolerant with non-humans so long as they obey and respect the laws of the land. Then there’s the Shakosato State, ruled also by a human majority. Though the Shakosato State is very pro-human and human supremacist and has viewed non-human races with disdain and even hostility, essentially they are racist against those who are not human. Then there is Kurozaki, unlike Shakosato and Yahakanai who’re mostly ruled by humans. Kurozaki is ruled by demi-humans and beings known as “Yokai” but these beings are also known as “Monstergirls.”

>continue to next page

(And will continue again later…)

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Come on now storythread, do not die now.

>>53877129

Epilogue

The Son of Heaven was indeed furious when it was found that Lady Yi was absent from the palace without his permission. A search was made of the palace, but no one had seen her, and so all four of the Guardians were released to find her. At once, they sped off, confirming that she had fled the palace. That was thought to be the end of the matter, for the Guardians never failed, and the business of the Court continued much as it ever did. Lady Yi's absence had no particular effect except to leave another set of rooms free.

The Emperor, if not a particularly sensitive man, was at least normally a thoughtful and well-balanced ruler, who was not prone to fits of rage. But when the Guardians did not return with Lady Yi he flew into such a fury that it would become legendary at court for some time afterwards. He refused to recall even one of the Guardians, despite the fact that the palace's defences were sorely diminished by their absence. They would hunt her, he said, until they found her or until the sun burned out.

Years passed. Little changed in the palace, but two minor details are worth taking note of. Firstly, it became known that among the golden thrushes that commonly inhabited the palace there was now a sunbird, with the most beautiful green plumage. It was said that its song was the happiest and brightest sound you could ever hear. Something about it conveyed the warmth and beauty of the world, as a painting or other work of art can if it is by a truly talented artist.

>>53889171

The second thing that was noticed was a change in the disposition of the Venerable Loremaster. This was a more subtle change, but those that worked closely with him noticed that his controlled, reserved exterior softened slightly. Though he was still an extremely private being, who spent much of his time locked in his apartments (particularly after sunset), he became less imposing and less cold. It was said that he too liked to listen to the sunbird, and it was widely considered that if its song had such an effect on such an ancient and otherwise immovable being it was well worth listening to.

After some years, the Emperor, now in his old age, became very morose on the subject of Lady Yi. He had once raged at her betrayal, now he was more likely to speak harshly of the other women at court, his own wife and concubines included. They were all scheming vipers, he said, more interested in politics and status than making anyone happy. Lady Yi was the best of them, a delicate blossom amidst poisonous weeds, and because he had neglected her her love for him had withered like an un-watered flower. These moments of introspection invariably ended with him concluding that he would die old and miserable and alone.

Finally, he called back the Guardians. It was considered by most of the Court that Lady Yi was probably dead anyway, but the Son of Heaven decided that even if she were alive it was time for him to let her go.

As it happened, he did not die alone. True, his wife and remaining concubines were holding secret meetings with the court bureaucrats even as he lay on his deathbed. But his younger daughters, who had heard from him many times that sensitive Lady Yi was a better example to follow than the scheming ladies of the court, were a great comfort to him in his final years, right up until the end.

>>53889196

A few years before the Emperor's death - not long after the Guardians were recalled, in fact - the Venerable Loremaster finally decided that he would take his leave of the Empire. It had been an honour serving the Imperial Family, he said, but the time had finally come for him to travel back west and see what had become of his former homeland in his absence. At first, the Son of Heaven was loathe to let him go. Few was better versed in magic, and obviously the Venerable Loremaster was invaluable when it came to recording history, given that he experienced much of it firsthand. But the Son of Heaven recognised that the foreigner longed for his homeland, whatever might be left for it, and with insight he might not have possessed in his younger years he concluded it would be a poor reward for over a century of service if he were to keep the Venerable Loremaster a prisoner here in this alien land. They parted friends, and thus one of the few remaining elves in the Imperial Domain headed west; to what fate, no one knew.

Around that time, the sunbird disappeared as well. But birds do not live as long as elves, and its end while lamented was not otherwise remarked upon.

Though there were some who suggested, offhand, that the sunbird might have followed the Loremaster, so that it could always sing for the one who loved it most.


---- The End ----

>>53883044

Because while they are demi-humans, they are an all female race who boast monster-like features but are all attractive female humanoids who give birth to the females of their respective race, but they male offspring they give birth to are human males, for some reason we have yet to fully understand. Lord Nanba, the ruler of Yahakanai, advised that if we are to make envoys to the Kurozaki State. We must be prepared to bring along with us young, un-married men. Either human or elven who’ll serve as suitors for the monstergirls as a sign of peace and goodwill… I know it sounds very strange, disturbing and even barbaric to some degree, then again this is recently discovered lands we still know very little of. So different cultures can just take time to get, accustomed with for a lack of better term…

So far what I was able to gather about the lands of Yazaki:

-The nation consists of three archipelagos, the largest is Kurosato, Kurozaki which is ruled by the monstergirls is the second largest and the pro-human Yahakanai is the smallest archipelago of all the three.

-Technology-wise they are still within the 15th century, practically they just hit the renaissance. The fact that places such as Briastrin and Lastreyla (which so far are rivals with Briastrin and the only other nation in this world that is as technologically advanced and sophisticated as Briastrin but not versed in magic like we elves of Chimax) are two advanced nations with similar advancements. There are still lands out there in this world that have yet to be seen and heard, and also prove that the world we live is far bigger and greater than we all expect. Both in a metaphorical sense and literally.

>continue to next page

(will continue, again just wait)

>>53874560
>>53876697
>>53876836
>>53876870
>>53876906
>>53876929
>>53876954
>>53876972
>>53877129
>>53889171
>>53889196
>>53889220

Nice story Chronicler. Pretty heartwarming end. And may this storythread last long and well.

>>53890607
Thanks dude.

I'm enjoying this:
>>53867176
>>53883044
>>53890607
so far. Looking forward to seeing the rest of it.

Though I still wish you'd do a story in your native language. I need to practice my Spanish.

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bump, again

>>53906878
>>53905727
>>53904637
>>53903133
>>53899995
>Bumping every few hours because this thread is dead
You should join the rest of your cancerous brethren on Reddit