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>Play Dark Heresy for the first time >OOC I talk with another

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>Play Dark Heresy for the first time
>OOC I talk with another character about being best friends IC
>We're in a bar after a mission
>Jones asks me to flirt with a sister of battle
>I do and get a critical success twice
>Sister of battle and I go back to the ship and during a fade to black scene she sucks my cock
>Another player enters the ship and sees us naked then attacks me because "You're annoying"
>I bitch about it being a stupid reason but the GM allows it
>We fight a lot then Jones and I retreat into the storage hold while near death
>We lock the door and start setting satchel charges in the ship
>We have one last bro-fist while crying then activate the charge
>We all die
Is this normal for Dark Heresy or do I just have a shitty and retarded group? Most of them are from /qst/.
>>
>>53691073
>SoB
>seduced
Obviously a traitor follower of Slaneesh, both of you needed to be purged.
>>
>>53691279
>SoB
>in a bar
Start with the GM.
>>
>>53691073
>a shitty and retarded group
This seems to be the case.
>>
NAT FUKKEN 100
>>
>GM lets you seduce a space nun, and not just any repressed habit wearing tart but a fucking RELIGIOUS SUPERSOLDIER OF THE SUPER CATHOLIC INQUISITION WHO LIVES FOR BURNING THE SHIT OUT OF DEGENERATES, APOSTATES AND HERETICS

your GM needs to learn about the setting
>>
>>53691321
More clues that she's a heretic.
>>
Well in the Cain books one of the sisters has a romantic thing for one of the school teachers. Sisters are not required to not drink nor are they forbidden from sex, most just dont have the time or inclination, her romance is at best like 5th on her list behind love of emperor, training, book work, and teaching. Its not impossible but its not likely you pulled one..... it would likely be a one night stand realistically
>>
>>53691333
Trips don't lie
>>
>>53691697
Comparing a retired sister probably having started a relationship with a collegue to a sister hanging out in a bar waiting for thinga to happen, is not applicable.
I find is highly unlikely for a SoB just to habg out in a bar, and then agree to go out. Most likely she was a disguised slaneeshi
>>
>>53691697
>>53691556
OP here. My character "John" convinced her that the Emperor blessed him and his semen was holy.
>>
>>53692190
>OP here. My character "John" convinced her that the Emperor blessed him and his semen was holy.
Then all the other players stood up and clapped

Boy do I miss quest threads on /tg/.
>>
>>53691073
You seduced a SoB, who pretty much only cares about the Emperor. That was already dumb. Attacking another PC because "you're annoying" IC is pretty shitty.

Honestly it was dumb on everyone's part.
>>
>>53692190
>GM lets a player mock the religion of a holy warrior and get away with it

THIS IS 40K, YOU WOULD NOT GET AWAY WITH THIS

MAYBE GUARDSMAN BARRACKS BANTER WOULD GO THERE

BUT SAYING THAT TO A MILITANT ECCLESIASTICAL AGENT IS LIKE GOING UP TO AN ALABAMA COP AS A NEGRO AND SAYING HEY WANNA SEE MY GUN, OFFICER?
>>
>>53692343
>GOING UP TO AN ALABAMA COP AS A NEGRO AND SAYING HEY WANNA SEE MY GUN, OFFICER
Open carry is legal in Alabama.
>>
>>53692190
Get out of bed John, this is 40k. Everything is terrible and at best you can hope you're waifu doesn't cheat on you when you're both mining slaves that need to cut off your fingers as part of the law of marriage.
Then again, if she does are you willing to have another finger chopped off in the divorce?
>>
>>53692471
Well... I'd never played 40K before. My character promised to marry her if he survived... I guess that won't happen now that John and Jones blew everyone up in self defense.
>>
File: latest-13.jpg (205KB, 566x800px) Image search: [Google]
latest-13.jpg
205KB, 566x800px
>>53692547
>never played 40k before
It shows.
>>
>>53692425
Well you see he drew a weapon and I feared for my life
>>
>>53692677

If you kill the heretics, they win.
>>
>>53691073
>A sister of battle is in a bar and she goes and sucks your dick
>Most of the group is from /qst/
That checks out.
What a cancerous group.
>>
>>53692547
>John and Jones blew everyone up in self defense.
Well congratulations, you made me actually laugh out loud. you're still retarded though.
>>
>>53694496
REEEEEE!
>>
I'll post the full story.


Recap:
>We get aboard the ship and we're greeted by Andrew the pilot
>Steer toward mother ship
>Do you have the artifact?
>Sweats visibly
>Az gets on the phone
>"Herro, who dis?"
>Yeah it's me, and we don't have the artifact, some fuck-nut blew it for us"
>"Kay."
>Board the ship
>Tell Eldar to hide
>Greeted by Grand Fucking Inquisitor
>NervousSalute.JPG
>"At ease men"
>Pandering happens and dickdock wants to look and find the Eldar
>GM: "Hmm... Kay."
>Psyker fuckery happens and nothing is seen
>Dickdock and his fuckbuddy go to the bar
>Meanwhile... Ho Li goes asian buffet on the ship and guts it for parts to make 10 mega bombs
>>
>Overpandering happens and the GM doesn't notice that fuckbuddy tried to grope the sister of battle
>He beds the sister of battle
>Everyone except Dickdock are slightly perturbed but keep playing
>Except for one player, she was a civvie and she didn't like this at all
>Ho Li buys rations for everyone because all the civilians ate it
>They return to a sleeping battle sister and a sleeping fuckbuddy
>Triggered.jpg
>Civvie pulls gun and fires a few shots
>Ho Li fucks himself right off and into the other ship
>Psyker bro comes in and watches this happen
>Psyker pandering may or may not have gone on with the civvie
>Eventually Dickdock gets lonely and tries to smoothetalk the barkeep lady
>Falls down on her but his meta sense is tingling
>Rushes in to see scared fuckbuddy and the heretical battle sister
>Hull starts breaking apart and everybody screams
>Az tries to evacuate the civvies like the good sumaritan
>Fuckbuddy starts crying
>Dickdock has a brilliant idea
>He pulls out a fucking grenade and says "Watch out, there's a 'nade!"
>Party's faces wen http://ct.fra.bz/ol/fz/sw/i52/5/7/21/frabz-are-you-fucking-stupid-39a942.jpg
>Psyker gets triggered and throws it back at him with stupid psyker pandering
>Someone shoots a bolt and the fucking grenade ignites
>>
>Dickdock has another brilliant idea
>Don't worry guys, we'll all be safe cause I'm gonna throw the grenade down the hall!
>Throws grenade toward Ho Li, the Grand Inquisitor, and the Barkeep
>HaveVaccinationsGoneTooFar.jpg
>Party OOC triggered
> MFW dick dock blows up our only way of mission objective
>MFW he starts complaining nobody was following mission objective
>Fuckbuddy starts fucking crying as his reaction
>Ho Li tries to cover the Grand Inquisitor, but it's too late
>'Nade blows and everyone is blown into the warp
>Story doesn't end there
>Nono, everyone except the GI, Ho, and Barkeep survive... so we think
>GM sees this shit, face palms and continues
>Now Dickdock and Fuckbuddy have holed themselves up in the cargo bay
>"Dickdock, I'm gay for you!"
>"That's kind of gay fuckbuddy, but me too!"
>Psyker notices a knocking on the door
>"I wonder who that could be!"
>Pulls in the Grand fucking Inquisitor
>"Hey guys, I'm alive"
>"Sweet."
>"But these two aren't."
>"Aw, I kinda liked the Asian one..."
>faggots blow eachother (up)
>Psyker bro tries to mitigate damage
>GI helps
>Survive
>Now party is deep in space
>Civvie player starts bleeding out
>Psyker: Don't worry, I got this guys
>Heals her with Psyker shenanigans
>Suddenly, more shenanigans
>GM: "Noooo, you guys aren't dead, you guys are now planetouched."
>Fuckbuddy gets slaneesh, Dickdock gets Khorne, Thai wan gets Nurgle, and Civvie gets Tzeentch
>Psyker OOC: "I slightly regret my decision."
>Bamboo boy gets up, "Hey guys what's up?"
>Party: "Shut up we're busy!"
>"kay."
>repair ship
>retrieve floating "dead" guys
>Tie those fuckers to the back of our ship
>Have 11 days of rations left
>That's how our situation went from bad to worse
Thread posts: 26
Thread images: 2


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