Bad D&D Group Stories

>One guy in the party in particular was a typical charismatic alpha douchebag.
>I absolutely hated this guy, everything he did was to sate his ego.
>I poke fun at him when he does a monologue, everybody laughs.
>He tells me to “shut the fuck up” right in front of my girlfriend who I started taking to the games.
>I didn’t say anything, since the guy just happens to be buddy-buddy with the DM.
>At this point, I started skipping out on games, I didn’t appreciate the consistent rudeness of that narcissist, and I was tired and busy with college.
>So, later on, the groups pretty big. Had about 15 people coming to these games, sometimes newbs.
>No matter the day, I always helped set up the tables, it was getting pretty tough at this point.
>DM announces best friends are going to be “assistant DMs” and it’s going to be a war on three fronts.
>We all choose a table and sit in it. I choose the actual DM table.
>Fight gets intense, my table kills the commander of the battlefield.
>Some magical bullshit happens (I don’t remember the details), but I get sent from one battlefield to the other.
>I’m totally fucked, as I’m a ranged fighter, and I have little health.
>And worst of all…
>I’m teleported off of a dock.
>Regardless, I’m fighting with all I have.
>It’s my turn, I’m going to turn my situation around. Kill the morale!
>Minor illusion spell, in a booming voice of the dead commander (since they wouldn’t know he died yet)
>”Soldiers to retreat at once!”
>Assistant DM fucking rolls for a save. Fuck this guy.
>Only three of 10 soldiers leave.
>I am killed.
>The tomfuckery doesn’t end here, folks.

So you know, I'm listening. Just waiting for the next post.

But next time, type this up in a note pad before hand.

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>>53685261
>my girlfriend who I started taking to the games
>I started skipping out on games

tl;dr OP was the problem player

>>53685261
>Gave it a break.
>And then returned, because I was hoping things might be different now.
>It was only worse.
>I normally enjoy play with 5 people, including the DM. Personal preference.
>But now there is like. 25 people in the room. Not everyone is playing, a lot of spectators, but this is making me anxious just being there.
>Whatever.jpg
>I had to make a new character, obviously. This is a novice group, so anyone who rerolls is put at the same level as everyone else.
>I made a fighter with a spiked mace, a mercenary type.
>This was going to be another war.
>The battlefields were the east and west field, and then the kingdom wall.
>There are two factions vying for dominance.
>Everybody chose one side.
>I chose the other, to be a chucklefuck. The defector.
>I privately let the DM know that I was going to be on the opposite side, as not to lead to later confusion.
>”The mission on the east side is to get into the weapons cache, located beneath a cannon.”
>I went with this team to change the tide in battle.

>>53685409
She was genuinely interested in playing, and I had no right to refuse her.

>>53685474
>Everybody was given some magical bullshit spell or item.
>I shrugged and went with it.
>My item was a protection spell for any one attack.
>So, battle begins, we rush toward a barracade. The cannon continues hurling iron.
>Another friend of mine is playing, he’s my neighbor.
>I feel bad for his impending doom, but sacrifices must be made.
>He’s telling me of his plan to use his crossbow bolt, loaded with a magic spell, to destroy the cannon with a violent explosion.
>Fuck, this is gonna be gud.
>I’m readying my action.
>He’s about to launch it…
>”Attack roll with my mace. Against the crossbow.”
>A fucking 19.
>Reaction with my spell, my victory in the war has been sealed!
>OR SO I FUCKING THOUGHT.
>Apparently it’s not just ‘one’ explosion. It’s multiple damages that will be dealt.
>I guess I could be a martyr then?
>DM pretty much does the biggest dick move to date, and says that the GODS INTERVENE.
>A shielding spell traps the explosion to just destroy me and neighbor friend.
>He’s shocked, he’s not even mad though. He’s a cool guy.
>But the DM goes on further to describe how a god of death he made up dragged them both in hell and gave them some shitty final words.
>That’s when I knew. This guy wasn’t all okay in the head.

>>53685624
>I should have learned my lesson that game. But I craved the game of D&D and I had friends there.
>I couldn’t resist the urge for a game a couple weeks after.
>DM picks me up.
>The first thing I do is bring up what I was doing in detail, to relieve some stress, and to figure out why he did that bullshit.
>Gives me some high-and-mighty bullshit about how I’m not playing on multiple levels.
>Just what kind of self-delusional bullshit is this?
>After several inquiries, apparently is “Three levels”.
>In my own words, it was interpersonal, intrapersonal, and god-level gameplay.
>like, appealing to the gods in order to have some semblance of success.
>What. The. Fuck.
>This is definitely not would I went to play.
>But I held my tongue, as not to get myself stranded.
>Game time.
>Another goddamn epic battle.
>It’s as big as his ego.
>We’re all fighting a dragon.
>I’m playing a high level monk.
>As the 10 of us are fighting, when it’s my turn and I’m close enough,
>I use a wall to vault onto the dragon.
>I plan to ride this motherfucking until I’ve stabbed it to death.
>After a couple of turns, DM does some more stupid bullshit.
>Some god-like human character blows the dragon away, stealing my chance for an epic kill.
>To top it off, the way the guy was killed was passing around some stupid orb.
>When the battle is over, his self-insert character makes his haughty monologue.
>My eyes can only roll so far before they fall out of my skull.
>It’s so awkward I have to leave the room.

is op a legit aspie? Holy shit, if you have to say it in five posts nobody cares

>>53685849
>That was the last game I ever planned on playing.
>I called him and his douchebag friend what they were, egotistical.
>I got banned from a D&D group I didn’t even want to play with anymore.
>One by one, my friends who played the game also stopped playing, because they were jewed in the same way.

The end.

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>>53685863
OP is a newfag to /tg/, because he normally browses /vg/. Lmao.

>>53685912
Nah you're fine. That dude is just a prick.

I'll be damned if I play with someone outside my friend circle again.

Anyone else have good stories to share?

>>53685243
>>53685261
>>53685474
>>53685624
>>53685849
>>53685894

3/10 story. tl;dr version

>Played with a group
>Group was huge, 15+ people
>Group decided to play in a huge epic war, east vs west.
>Pick the west side, but decide to be a defector from the east because I'm a chucklefuck PvPer
>Each of the PCs is given a magic item; Mine was a one-time shield of invulnerability. Friends' is a explosive device
>Sneak near friend, secretly ready an action to attack his magic weapon just before he fires it
>Manage to attack it successfully and at the same time trigger my item
>DM suddenly says that the explosion is multiple hit and my item only shields one damage source
>But as if that wasn't enough, divine intervention happens, places a new shield around just me and my friend killing only us
>DM gives edge-lord final words as both of us are dragged into hell
>Week later, ask him what the fuck all of that was about.
>Gives me some high-and-mighty bullshit about how I’m not playing on multiple levels.
>Just what kind of self-delusional bullshit is this?
>After several inquiries, apparently is “Three levels”.
>In my own words, it was interpersonal, intrapersonal, and god-level gameplay.
>like, appealing to the gods in order to have some semblance of success.
>What. The. Fuck.
>Get into game
>Fighting dragon now
>About to deal killing blow
>DMPC blows it away with an orb
>Gives another edge lord speech about how great he is.

The end.

>>53686006
Your story isn't worth 5 posts. I cut it down into this to show you which parts were relevant.

>>53685934
Kill yourself.

>>53685912
Lurk for 2 years before posting.

>>53686215
Race you to it.

>>53686215
Not everyone's an unemployed autist like you, kid.

>>53685243
The fuck was the point of this?

Nothing interesting even happened.

Like three of the five posts didn't even have a single relevant point to your tale. The other two could have been cut in half.

All your problems would have been solved if you just had two briaincells to rub together and thought "25 people? That's too many for one group. Maybe we could get some people running other games to split things up."

What a waste of time.

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>>53685409

ya'll off the goop on god

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In my experience, never EVER join a group where the people have been playing forever, two of the group are married, with a third as a brother\brother-in-law, and your friend has brought YOU into this pile of shit. If brought into this kind of group, in-media-res campaign, your basically fucked, and its a waste of time.

Your best bet at that point is play a support, say fucking nothing, go along with whatever the group does, and be the ultimate fucking beta. The moment you have an independent thought, these people will turn on you with such viciousness it will make your fucking head spin.

Maybe once a new campaign starts, these people will trust you enough to give a shit what you say, without immediately fucking you over.

1/2

>running D&D for a group of friends
>smartass wizard, douchebag ranger, pretentious rogue, psycho cleric and retard warlock
>players always whine they want freedom of action and alignment, so sandbox mode, evil allowed
>they don't know what to do
>whenever I throw a plot hook or mission their way, they respond "fuck that, that's dangerous"
>for a couple of sessions, they don't do anything but whine how they've got nothing to do
>only warlock does anything, gets into a bar brawl and murders 5 people, tries to rob a bank, is wanted
>party is verging on turning warlock in to the guard
>manipulative fighter joins the group, calms everyone down
>has connection to organized crime, manages to get the other players on a mission
>party has to kill or sabotage a certain pit fighter
>mission goes well, fighter wants a cut of the profits, immediately everyone else wants him dead
>ranger challenges him to a duel, cheats, gets help from pretentious rogue, defeats and humiliates fighter
>fighter wants ranger dead, ranger wants fighter magically enslaved
>meanwhile, warlock wants to fight in the arena, doesn't understand why spectators have an issue with his invisibility
>doesn't get paid, goes on rampage, is wanted by the underworld as well
>party goes to a halfling/gnome inn, inn is in huge hollowed-out stalactite (setting is underground)
>wizard pickpockets ranger's whole inventory, blames gnomes
>ranger genocides the gnomes, gets thrown out the window, somehow survives
>ranger blames the rogue and kills him, everyone wants ranger dead
>warlock snitches wizard to the ranger, ranger wants wizard dead
>warlock the wanted criminal gets a bright idea to sell out other players to the city guard, for money and pardon
>actually announces that to the party
>psycho cleric tenderizes warlock with his hammer, party tries to turn warlock in, but he escapes

>>53687943
2/2

>party goes off on a away mission, months of travel into the wilderness
>runing from a horde of mutant gnolls
>warlock appears, trips ranger, ranger gets eaten
>party accepts warlock, to replace lost ranger
>get into an old fort, board up in an old house
>warlock tries to steal everything from the rest of the group
>cleric catches him as he's trying to fly away with the bags
>wizard stuns him, warlock falls down into the gnoll mob, gets eaten
>fighter attacks the wizard because now all of their posessions are at the hands of the gnoll horde
>cleric attacks the wizard because he wanted to bring warlock to justice alive
>fighter attacks the cleric because he's tired of his bullshitting about justice
>pushes full-plated cleric into the moat (with an aboleth in it)
>wizard fireballs the fighter as he's standing near the fort gates
>kills fighter, blasts doors, gnolls swarm in

>>53685261
>>It’s my turn, I’m going to turn my situation around. Kill the morale!
>>Minor illusion spell, in a booming voice of the dead commander (since they wouldn’t know he died yet)
>>”Soldiers to retreat at once!”
>>Assistant DM fucking rolls for a save. Fuck this guy.
>>Only three of 10 soldiers leave.
teleportation fuckery aside, isnt this exactly how its supposed to be played out? its a fucking minor illusion spell, be glad you even got 3 of them

>>53685243
ouch. Sucy's gonna have a black eye.

>>53687331
Did you crawl out of [r9k]?

I mean I agree that joining a game that's been around for a while is likely to be an awkward fit and sadly you aren't likely to going to be given much agency until whatever game comes after this one.

But goddamn you sound like a an overly dramatic [r9k] fag with the way you said that.

>>53687331
Bullshit.

Of course such a group will have found a common style of game, common understandings, trust and possibly decision-making hierarchy, they'll know how each other thinks, etc. And you'll be the different and the unknown, and it'll take time to settle down into the group. And yeah, you observe how they play and listen to what hey say, because you're the outsider. But you do that in any normal game, you fucking observe the group and if you find yourself differring too much from them, you leave. Just as you should leave this group and understand why you had to leave, instead of fucking whining.

>be the ultimate fucking beta
Yeah, you fucking are. Not because they made you, but because YOU ARE. Group not to your liking? Maybe it's them, maybe it's you, but you say thank you and leave and find another, instead of projecting your butthurt all over the place because they hurt your fee-fees.

You fucking niggers, how hard is it to learn that? Just fucking LEAVE THE GAME.

>>53686199
Your summary isn't worth 1 post, autist.

>>53687331
Can confirm. RP cliques are the most pathetic, rabidly autismal thing ever. Moreso if there's an element of competition in the game.
>>53688045
>>53688264
t. newfag it's /r9k/ dumbass, gb2reddit or wherever you crawled out from and autist

>>53688592
I don't think you know what autist means.

And I'm not a newfag either, so you can piss off with that meme too.

Stay butthurt, kiddo.

>>53688515
So you admit the story is a 3/10 like I said? Good to know you're retarded, OP. Makes me feel less bad about this.