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"Graffiti from the dungeon bathroom"

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Thread replies: 316
Thread images: 48

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"Graffiti from the dungeon bathroom"
>>
Flavius is a fucking faggot
>>
>insert here for good time
are is littered with skeletons with no pelvis.
>>
>SECVNDVS DEFECATED HERE
>SECVNDVS DEFECATED HERE
>SECVNDVS DEFECATED HERE
>SECVNDVS DEFECATED HERE
>>
>I can't believe I ate the whole thing
>>
>summon Demenus for a good time.
>>
>[EXPLOSIVE RUNES]

>This bathroom is a trap, every minute in here the poison from the crap starts to burrow into your brain even further.
>>
>"Elbereth" carved into the floor of a bathroom stall
>the door outside it is covered in scratch marks but the door itself holds true
>>
>Everything is a Mimic!
>>
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"Bad motivations for main antagonists"
>>
>>53504526
The toilet is a mimic with a fetish.
>>
>>53504821
I just recently retired and can't stand being with the wife all day.
>>
>>53504842
>>53504526

>The toilet is a changeling with a fetish.
>>
>>53504821
If I pull this off, I'll really be a someone at my school reunion
>>
>>53504821
World domination
>>
>>53504821
>You know, it's funny. I don't even remember anymore.
>>
>>53504821
>he forgot somewhere in the planning stage and decided to roll with it anyways
>>
>>53504821
Well,the king bumped me in the street, I told him to fuck off, he punched me in the face, I kicked him in the nuts, one thing led to another, and now I'm raising an army of 5600 skeletons to draw dicks all over the walls of the king's castle.
>>
>>53504821
Hey, guys! Let's create an ethnostate!
>>
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>If you are able, but not willing, why do you put off our joy and kindle hope and tell me always to come back tomorrow. So, force me to die since you force me to live without you. Your gift will be to stop torturing me. Certainly, hope returns to the lover what it has once snatched away.

http://www.pompeiana.org/Resources/Ancient/Graffiti%20from%20Pompeii.htm
>>
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>>53504821
Desire to be edgy.
>>
>>53504844
>>53504891
These two are great
>>
>>53504821
>I started doing this just to annoy people and now I've crossed the line. Now let me continue and see how this plays out.
>>
>>53504844
>>
>>53504821
gay mariage.
>>
>>53504821
>let's stop the enviromental degradation by destroying human civilization in a nuclear holocaust
>>
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>>53504891
There was a Fire Emblem game with this as sort of a last minute twist. I loved it.
>>
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>"Things you can say to your GM, but not to your girlfriend"
>>
>>53505036
I love you.
>>
>>53505036
I roll to seduce
>>
>>53504821
All life must come to an end, therefore I'll kill everybody because why wait?
>>
>>53505036
You can handle 5 rowdy guys like a champ
>>
>>53505036
There's a girl I want to invite for next week
>>
>>53505036
Roll for pregnancy.
>>
>>53505036
Seriously? How many guys are in there!?
>>
>>53505036
Same time next week?
>>
>>53505036
So, we're all set to go to the traveling loli brothel, right?
>>
>>53505036
I had fun
>>
>>53505036
I loot the corpse
>>
>>53505036
Anything
>>
>>53505036
You exist
>>
>>53505219
I don't get it
>>
>>53505036
>if I take her from behind, can I add sneak attack extra damage to pleasure roll?
>>
>>53505035

Nergal's story is a sad one.
>>
>>53504943
thanks for the upvote
>>
>>53505234
You are retard
>>
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Last words before a party wipe
>>
>>53504943
I'll thank you too.
>>
>>53505293
>Roll for initiative
>>
>>53505293
Fuck you retards (IC)
>>
>>53505293
Llleerrroooyyy Jeeennnkkkiiinnnsss
>>
>>53505293
>"Guys, come on, it's just -one- dragon."
>>
>>53505293
>Okay, I've read the monster manual, I know how to handle this.
>>
>>53505293
I TOLD YOU NOT TO ROLL A GOD DAMN FRENZIED BERSERKER!
>>
>>53505293
Of course there aren't any traps, you trust the rouge, right?
>>
>>53505293
>I put the sphere of annihilation into my bag of holding
>>
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>>53505293
Goodbye everyone, I'll remember you all in therapy
>>
>>53505293
>You detect nothing.
>>
>>53505293
"We should be safe here"
>>
>>53505293
Found a replacement hand and eye!
>>
>>53505293
It'll be fiiiiiiiiine
>>
>>53505293
>they look friendly enough
>>
>>53505036

I'd never go in without protection.
>>
>>53505293
>For what it's worth, I hope you enjoyed [INSERT MOMENT OF GOING FULL RETARD HERE].
>>
>>53505293
I can't see what's in these barrels. Anyone have a match?
>>
>>53505293
>Okay, you take the Toughness test first since you have the highest CON, and if that doesn't work we'll cast a Wish to bring you back.
>>
>>53505293
>I roll to seduce
>>
>>53505293
DM: "Are you Really, REAAALLLY sure?"
>>
>>53505293

I got this.
>>
>>53505293
Why is the GM smiling like that?
>>
>>53505293
>a group of illithids surrounds you from all around
>>
>>53505293
I cast fireball
>>
>>53505293
>I'll play a psyker
>>
>>53505494
oh god this
>>
>>53504526
>Original builder is a faggot
>>
>>53505494
Literally the first game of Dark Heresy I ran ended this way.
>Everyone thought it was completely fine
>>
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>>53505145
>>
>>53505293
What do you mean by... Tuckers kobolds? Whats that?
>>
>>53504526
Overthinking
>>
>>53505293
>I'll roll for Psychic Phenomena, keep the Fate Point for a rainy day.
>>
>>53505552
Same here.
I was the psyker.
Such worth.
>>
>>53505552
>>53505583
If you're not pushing smite every round, you're not doing it right.
>>
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>>53505583
>>53505604
>That nervous flinch, those unconscious grimaces in the group whenever the 'next' psyker tried to do anything
>Fucking priceless
>>
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"A new party member introduces him/herself."
>>
>>53505791
Hahah, Hey guys I'm a Kender! POTATO! Lawl I have a very random sense of humor! I roll to pick pocket your character!
>>
>>53505791
Ok, so even though my character's backstory says he's the son of Asmodeus, I swear he's chaotic good.
>>
>>53505791
>I roll to seduce
>>
>>53505791
>hi, I'm Gulmen the Dark-Fire, and this kawai loli here is my familiar, sex partner and also my imouto.
>>
>>53505791
>Hey guys, you mind if I take a look at your inventories?
>>
>>53505791
>I stand in the corner, brooding, face hidden by my black cloak
>>
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>>53505791
>>
>>53505791
>I challenge you guys to a duel to see if you are worthy to be my slaves
>>
>>53505791

Hello, I'm John, and I'll be playing a- snrk- a -hehe- a norma- pfrk- a normal- pfeheh- a normal Lawful Neutral Human Fighter- PFAHAHAHAHAHAHA
>>
>>53505791
>Teleports behind your neck
"Nothing personel, koddo"
>>
>>53505791
Hi, I'm the DMPC and I'm here to advance the plot
>>
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"And your reward is..."
>>
>>53504526
Athedil sucked my dick here
>>53504821
Main antagonist is the family member you always forgot the name of
>I will ensure that my name will haunt you for as long as you live!
>>53505293
>I crit missed the arcana check, but really, how much can this magical amulet do?
>>53505791
>Sorry I missed the first couple sessions, guys. But here is my character, he is an angel who was cast down and cursed with vampiric blood. He is older than the world itself, but don't worry he doesn't have game breaking stats or anything
>>
>>53505997
>shrine maiden's anal virginity
>>
>>53505997

Sure, they're all the rage now, but just give it a few years, and these chests full of Beanie Babies will be worth ten times as much.
>>
>>53505997
>cursed belt of chastity
>cursed belt of girth
>>
>>53505997
Jean shorts, a pair of flipflops, bag of cocaine, a used condom and some dandruff
>>
>>53505997
>a reliquarium containing God-Emperor's navel lint
>>
>>53505997
A chest of gold coins which, upon closer examination, are just chocolate.
>>
>>53505997
>the friendship forged by fire, water and brass
>>
>>53504526

For a good time, write 66-132-950-12-75 in infernal at the points of a pentagram. Fuccbois without maiden's blood don't waste my time.
>>
>>53505997
>For saving my kingdom I grant you each Stewardship over my most profitable farm and trading lands, a fully staffed mansion and a harem of beautiful waifu's..
>Or you can trade it all away for what's in the the mystery box....
>>
>>53504526
Bad Wolf
>>
>>53505997
Legendary head of Vecna.
>>
>>53504526
>behold what you get for trying to play Dungeon Meshi with that DM and despair
>>
4 copper coins...

The dragon sucked at hoarding coins...
>>
>>53505293
>"Are you sure you want to do that?"
>>
>>53504526
>I screwed the warden

>>53505293
I've got a plan

>>53505791
>Assumes fetal position in corner, throwing rocks at the party while hissing

>>53505997
An incredibly reflective white tunic
>>
>>53505997
>MY WIFE
>>
>>53504891
This could be really cool if it was in a setting where memories could be consumed for power or magic. Villain becomes so desperate fighting the heroes that he consumes his memories and forgets why he fights, but keeps going anyway.

Or the good guys could do the same. I think that happened in Chaika. It would be amusing if both the protag and antag legit forgot why they were fighting and that either solved the conflict or it just kept going anyway.
>>
>>53505099
Nice one
>>
>>53505997
The next fucking breadcrumb.
>>
>>53505997
>"Me." as the old wizened man started to disrobe.
>>
>>53506696
Argh WHYYYY?!?!?
>>
Am I late?

Who cares, nobody posted this.
>>53504526
https://youtu.be/MmQWxK_69Ps
>>
>>53506070

>people buy benie babies thinking they will be a goldmine in 10 to 15 years.
>after 20 years people get fed up with them and throw them away since they dont even sell for $0.50 or a buck in a garage sale
>50 years from now when im handing them over to my grandkids they really WILL be worth something!

its just a box stuffed into the corner of my attic. honestly i forget they are there %99 of the time. one day maybe they really will be worth something.
>>
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>>53504526
>ctrl+f
>"rogues do it from behind"
>0 results
I am disappoint
>>
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>>53506696
J-just the reward I wanted.
>>
>>53506767
Underrated movie.
>>
>>53505997
About tree fiddy
>>
>>53505829
I stab you.

To death.
>>
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"the most humiliating way to die in a session"
>>
>>53507209
How ignorant!
>>
>>53506158
I can honestly say I've always hated you guys.
>>
>>53507333

>I draw my sword and charge the rat
>>
>>53504526
>gas the elves, race war now
>>
>>53507333
You have angered the gazebo
>>
>>53507333
Dying from mummy rot acquired from a Necrophilic romp in the Egyptian themed dungeon.
>>
>>53507333 c >>53506597
>>
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>>53507333
"Don't worry guys it's only a pile of poo filled with coins, what could go wrong?"
>Pic related

Also, nice trips
>>
>>53507333
>I jump down the hole
Almost happened, there was a fire i was entirely sure was illusory, so obviously the hole inside it was an escape tunnel. Or, apparently, a giant hole that falls into a pit of skeletons.
>>
>>53507333

You can just wash off your dice after the game Greg. Do you just want this bag of cheetos to go waste?
>>
>>53506071
That's my fetish
>>
>>53506628
Sounds like the opposite of Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles
>>
bumping for more whose line is it anyway
>>
>>53507333
>I roll to seduce the dragoness [success]
Turns out to be a male dragon
>>
>>53506071
Y-you stop that
>>
>>53507333
>It's ok guys, I'm just going to cast a minor power to open this lock, it will be over in a minute.
>>
>>53505036
Fuck you and your magical realm!
>>
>>53504526
>Which shitter was the mi-
>>
>>53507679
No you can't have any cheetos Greg, you should have thought of that before you got here.

Now pass the dice, I'm about to bang this elf chick
>>
>>53504526
YOU CAN DO IT, SKELETON
>>
Ha ha! Oh I'm using that one...
>>
>>53507333
>"Face huggers are friendly right? I roll to hug it back"
>>
>>53507333

>I didn't think the trap solution would be that simple, so I didn't even try that
>>
>>53505926
Me and my friends were honestly fooled by this once. His name was also Bob.

It turned out he was a actually a secret inquisitor which the player made solely to bust a players half demon character.
>>
>>53511793
Sounds like you had two those guys in your group.
>>
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>>53507333
By trusting the paladin to make the right choice.
>>
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>>53505030
>>
>>53505791
You all have resistance to fire, right?
>>
>>53505997
Rolling another Character
>>
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>>53507333
Snu Snu
>>
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>>53512214
>not the best way to die
Silly anon!
>>
>>53512233
>implying they didnt stick stuff in your butt
>>
>>53513719
I'm failing to see the problem here.
>>
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>inside Discount Price Magic Store
>>
>>53516518
Bag of Holding Normal Weight
>>
>>53516518
Orb of slope detection
>>
>>53516518
>+2 sentient magic sword
>Only sings shitty pop songs at the worst time
>>
>>53509213
The dick only makes it better
>>
>>53516518
anvil of ogre strength
>>
>>53516518
hag of balding
>>
>>53516518
A bell that has a 80% chance of unlocking doors, and a 20% that it doesn't stop ringing for 10 minutes
>>
>>53516518

Scrolls of Scraw-to-Spiel's Load-bearing Levitation Circle!

Twice as many scrolls! Compare to scrolls of Tenser's Floating Disk*
>>
>>53516518
A leaking decanter of endless water
>>
>>53504930
I am really hoping his motivation gets explained better in the next one.
>>
>>53516518

Portable hole with a hole in it.
>>
>>53516518
>Magic Carpet of Fraying
When you sit on it and invoke the command word, the carpet lifts into the air a few feet and unravels into naught but thread.
>>
>>53518374
At least it isn't endless lava.
>>
>>53505829
roll to cave in your skull
>>
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>>53516518
Hat of +1 Rabbit Storage
>>
>>53505030
>>53504821
In a similar vein, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Negative_utilitarianism. End everything to end bad things.
>>
>>53505036
"I was really bad at this in middle school."
>>
>>53505293
"You guys won't believe what the carrot said to me."
>>
>>53506322
Requesting stories of a DM actually doing this.
>>
>>53504766
Nice. Underrated
>>
>>53517691
>an magic external inner ear
>>
>>53504821
Smug frogs and repeating digits.

>>53505293
>>53507333
"Roll for anal circumference."

>>53516518
Ring of Invisibility to Women
>it's just a wedding ring
>>
>>53518374
How does the store store it?
>>
>>53516518
Goggles of Dayvision
>>
>>53520609
They store it over the malfunctioning dessicant rug which is over a scroll of access to the elemental plane of cesium.
>>
>>53520643
I'd buy the whole setup to build a magical portable drinking fountain and tour the land showing it off.

You do have to wonder, though, is there anyone on the elemental plane of cesium this thing may be pissing off?
>>
>>53520723
Cesium explodes in contact with water, so not anymore.
>>
>>53520823
Huh, I thought it would just smoke, but YouTube videos with cesium prove me very, very wrong.
>>
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>things you shouldn't say when on audience with the master of the paladin order.
>>
>>53521404
>Should we tell him about the baby orcs?
Works both ways!
>>
>>53521404
>Can we make this quick? I'm taking my tiefling girlfriend out for a hot date and some premarital sex tonight.
>>
>>53521404
>What's up with this uneven floor?
>One of these days you're gonna fall.
>>
>>53521404
>So, can you guys worship evil gods?
>>
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>>53521404
>>things you shouldn't say when on audience with the master of the paladin order.
Anything without a lawyer
>>
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>>53516518
>>inside Discount Price Magic Store
Chinese traditional medicine
>>
>>53521404
>I hate paladins.
>>
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>>53507333
>"the most humiliating way to die in a session"
Pissing on the toilet seat of the DM's house
>>
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>>53505791
>"A new party member introduces him/herself."
>Implying they don't just spontaneously appear and everyone acts as if they were always there.
>>
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>>53505293
>Last words before a party wipe
I don't think these party laxatives are having any effect
>>
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>>53505036
>>"Things you can say to your GM, but not to your girlfriend"
I don't want to roleplay as a black guy anymore
>>
>>53521404
"I'm sure you smite a whole lot of evil with that sword of yours"
>>
>>53505910
Oh man, what was this webcomic called? Used to be one of my favorites and now can't recall at all
>>
>>53522516
Please disregard, I need to go hark a vagrant
>>
>>53520638
So sunglasses?
Still useful to drow.
>>
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>>53522516

Hark a Vagrant

My absolute favourite webcomic
>>
>>53521942
This.
>>
>>53522276
I laughed.
>>
>>53505569
Nice reference
>>
>>53522881
It's a shame she basically doesn't update any more. It's like, what, twice a year now, and weak stuff at that, nothing like what made the comic great.
>>
>>53522978
Such a shame indeed
>>
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>>53522978
She's busy with book deals and such.

The recent stuff isn't that bad, but yeah it sucks there isn't much new content.
>>
>>53516518
Detect motive but only of winged stinging beasts
>>
>>53521404
Are traps gay?
>>
>>53521404
I really dig all these paintings with naked chicks, man
>>
>>53521404

Undead work force and lichdom enterprizes can lead to the infinite progress of civilization.
>>
"For a good time, ask for Chunt at the Vermillion Minotaur."
>>
>>53523522
>I do not understand. Why are you asking whether snares are merry?
>>
>>53523908
Kek
>>
>>53521404
>"There is literally nothing wrong with being undead, trust me I know."
>>
Wolves travel in packs
>>
>>53521404
>Mab Mab Mab
>>
>>53504766
>>
>>53518408
I think he's going to turn good in the end.
>>
>>53522881
Sensible emotional reactions are not a punchline.
>>
>>53505234
Neither does he.
>>
>>53520823
>coulombic shockwave through an infinite plane.
Wow.
>>
>>53528226
>Local Tarrasque not so tough after being shifted to the plane of infinite explosions
>>
>>53528226
The energy generated by the explosion can only be given in terms of an infinite limit.
>>
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"worrisome news found on the village postboard"
>>
>>53528544
>"Adventurers have arrived in town recently"
>>
>>53528544
>3 local children missing
Next flyer
>Come try our new and improved meat pie recipe!
>>
>>53520562
>it's just a wedding ring
That is the opposite of how wedding rings work.

And now you've made me realize I have to go get a ring.
>>
>>53507409
>>53517551
>>53517691
>>53521942
>>53523908
Made me chuckle
>>
>>53528544
A sudden and large amount of planar real-estate adds.
>>
>>53528544
Animal Semen Collector Needed~ Beast Masters Welcome
>>
>>53528544
>rats found in local basement, please vacate village until the party hits level 2
>>
>>53504526
>DM made us roleplay pooping here,,,,,,
>>
>>53517691
If it works in a straight line, the orb could be used a sort of radar.
>>
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>>53530338
Kek.
>>
>>53504821
>Highschool Bully returned
>>
>>53505036
You've asked this exact question far too many times
>>
>>53505293
No, I haven't really looked up the grapple rules yet, why?
>>
>>53528544
>The last literate man leaves the village, but not before fucking the baker's daughter.
>>
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>on a druid's tombstone
>>
>>53504554
>not 'orb of destruction'.
Come on, anon.
>>
>>53530649
>"biodegradables only"
>>
>>53528544
"Despite the negative press Covfefe"
>>
>>53530649
Eat more chicken.
>>
>>53530649
>I believe in reincarnation! By the way, those funeral wreaths? That pollen?......
>>
>>53530649
>Meh.
>>
>>53530649
>"Fools! All the creatures of this forest are my friends, even the hornets! See?!"
>>
>>53530994
also counts as
>>53505293
>>
>>53530649
>on second thought, maybe soap would've been a good idea
>>
>>53505293
>"I cast magic missile at the housecat"
>>
>>53530649
>Up until her very last moments- she was a mighty pussy
>>
>>53530649
>"If you give me a tombstone instead of burying me under a great tree I swear I will come back to fucking haunt you."
>>
>>53531038
I don't get it.
>>
>>53523761
*Chuntttttt
ftfy
>>
>>53505293
>It's okay guys, we've got the higher ground!

>>53505791
>"Greetings everyone. I am Thot Chib, a fire genasi musician and user of arcane arts! I hope we'll get along like a house on fire. By the way, is it hot in here or is it just me?"

>>53505997
>A year long subscription to the wandering loli brothel! Congratz!

>>53507333
>"As you charge the peasant, he braces his pitchfork for impact and impales you on it... you take... *roll* ...100 damage."

>>53516518
>Ring of trap detecting
>the prince's twin sister lights up as you approach the court hall

>>53521404
>"Hypothetically speaking, what would happen if someone lost the Holy Avenger that was in the ruins of unspeakable evil?"

>>53528544
>"The kingdom is no more! Long live the democratic union of nations!"
>just below it
>"Marriage for people of same sex is supported by democratic representatives!"
>>
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>things you can say about your cleric's goddess but not your girlfriend
>>
>>53531397
>She's real. It's an empirically proven fact.

Alternatively,

>She gives her "divine power" to anyone who asks.
>>
>>53531397
I bet she's at least 12 years old.
>>
>>53531397
At least she's real...
>>
>>53531397
She doesn't have a penis.
>>
>>53531185
House cats are scary to level 1 characters. A house cat could pretty easily kill SEVERAL npc villagers.
Attack: Claw +4 melee (1d2-4)
Full Attack: 2 claws +4 melee (1d2-4) and bite -1 melee (1d3-4)
>>
>>53532191
That was in 3.pf
>>
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>inns you should avoid
>>
>>53532506
The Magical Realm
>>
>>53532506
Innsmouth
>>
>>53532506
The Back and Crack.
>>
>>53532506
Don't go Inn here
>>
>>53532506
Hilbert's
>>
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>>53505293
>Come on guys, dont scare the little girl
>>
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>>53505997
>>
>>53507333
>Just go and, uh, chop its head off
>>
>>53521404
>morality is subjective
>>
>>53528544
>postboards are compromised
>>
>>53530649
>RIP mr.Hands
>>
>>53504526

"Don't drow on the walls"
>>
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>>53533074
>>
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"the DM is unprepared for this session"
>>
>>53533134
>Cant we just hang out normaly today?
or
>I think we should first let the party roleplay a bit with eachother
>>
>>53533134

>"Okay in the alley you find..."
>"...Give me a number between 7 and 288..."
>"...an ancient green dragon. Roll initiative."
>>
>>53504821
''For the glory of COMMUNISM!''
>>
>>53504526
>overthinking
>>
>>53533134
>So yeah, do you guys remember where we left off?
>Right, just in case you didn't remember-
>*proceeds to recap the last 5 sessions for 1 hour*
>Alright what do you want to do now
>>
>>53533134
>"Didn't you guys have some item shopping you wanted to do this session? I don't mind, really. Yeah, take as much time looking through Ultimate Equipment as you'd like."
>>
>>53528226
Where did you get the infinitely dispersed water from?

We got infinite water, but with only one point of entry that's not gonna matter too much.

(Besides, cesium is way overrated as far as its supposedly violently reactive nature goes)
>>
>>53528544
>xXx_retrogamer53ph1r07h_xXx has married Violet the tavern wench
>>
>>53504891
SAO was pretty shit.
>>
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>>53530690
>>
>>53506399
Alright guys I have a plan. First we find a ettin. Then we cut off its first head and leave the second one intact and then we apply the head of vecna
>>
>>53533134
A kender clan descends on the village
>>
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>things you shouldn't tell your GM
>>
>>53539497
I'm going to make a paladin
>>
>>53539497
"It's what my character would do."
>>
>>53505997
Buttered Toast of Falling
>>
>>53539497
>Stop breaking the rules
>>
>>53539497
I have a living family that loves and cares for me.
>>
>>53539497
"What are grapple rules again?"
>>
>>53539497
>I bet this guy will backstab us.
>>
>>53540647
As a DM, I plead guilty as accused.
>>
>>53539497
>your encounters are too easy
>>
>>53539497

>I can't come to the next session but you can play my character for me
>just don't do anything stupid
>>
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>>53533108
>>
>>53544783
I laughed.
>>
>>53539497
>My little niece wants to play with us.
>She already has an established character.
>Yeah, she said it was on her Tumblr.
>Race? That's actually kind of neat. When I was her age my characters were all humans and elves, but she wants to play a troll.
>>
>>53530342
Holy shit...
>>
>>53518518
>>
>>53527224
Is that a Dresden reference?
>>
>>53546623
Yes.
>>
>>53528384
>plane of infinite explosions
Megumin has a vacation home there.
>>
>>53532506
Sneed's Feed and Seed
>>
>>53539497
I have a LARGE list of fetishes. Chop chop.
>>
>>53506394
>Bad Wolf

Underrated. Absolutely underrated!
>>
>>53532538
[Thousand Yard Stare]
Thread posts: 316
Thread images: 48


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