Dumb guys thread

Kill them anon

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>>53482577
ITT: Player fails to realize that the girl of the group was DM's girlfriend.
Or worse, WASN'T the DM's girlfriend, but the magical realm in his pants was telling him otherwise.

I just wouldn't play with people who think a 10 int character can't divide 5000 by 10.

>>53482903
Just the fact that she was a woman and anon isn't should be enough to trigger this situation in 50% of the nerd DMs.

>group of people playing for years now
>Can't remember what their attack bonus is
>Multiple times a game

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fuck it lets give some more information about the story.

>yes the girl with the DM's GF but the story had enough lines didn't want to add another
>the DM also tried to convince me that my character wouldn't be the type to go for money over a legendary item
>I remind him that the first thing I done when I got to the capital was spend half my cash and buy a new suit.
>he gets spiteful and says that well that doesn't matter because my suit melted when a swamp wyvern melted my armor and my magic sword
yes I told him that you have to roll a crit one to lose magic items so he said only one of my magic items would melt and let me keep my magic axe, ring of protection and magic crossbow.
>tell him that you don't wear clothes under armor; you wear more armor under your armor.
>he said well your bag melted
>instantly shut up before he realizes that that would mean I lose 5000 gold that I had on me, my cooks utensils, my brewers kit, my bear trap and my portable ram

>>53483240
Your DM is a cunt that thinks you're not having fun the right way. Show him this post so that he knows that someone on the internet ALSO thinks he's a cunt, and that you should be able to play the damn game without being prejudiced against.

I once had a player who had no concept of DnD editions. He would read things about DnD on the internet and try to use them in game without checking the edition. We play 5e.

>He once sperged out that he couldn't communicate to some cleric in his 'alignment language' so the cleric would know he was telling the truth. We all had to explain that this was a rule from an edition made 30 years ago.

>Tried to use 3.5 homebrew of Dandwiki in a 5e game, with no changes.

>Tried to multiclass his 5e Fighter with a Dark Sun Gladiator.

>>53482903
in that captcha, i sympathise w the player

>>53482577
So how do they rationalize your character ever being able to buy or sell anything in the game?

Fuck it man, then just do dumb guy math

>If he has 10 items and sells them, we get enough money to buy one item!

>>53482577
The lesson here is to not brag about exploits, and not antagonize the GM.

Just close your mouth, quietly do the math OOC, make whatever IC justification you want, and get your super cool option without rubbing it in anyone's face. Then you'd have had mad dosh instead of a pissy GM.

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>Running Pathfinder for a store to test out the new AP Curse of the Crimson Throne
>Newbie walk ins, player's guide helps make characters have a common purpose to want to get revenge on a low level gangster named Gedren Lam for various reasons
>Enter Rogue
>Backstory: Gedren poisoned racehorses including rogue's racehorse and pinned the poisoning on the rogue. Now rogue is destitute after getting the shit kicked out of him for the crime and can't enter any gambling establishments in the city without getting killed.
>Plot continues, the party gathers together to sack Gedren's hideout
>Rogue is an obnoxious dickbag Rogue, he insisted on making his own rogue without help, takes weapons and loot he doesn’t even need, makes crude awkward jokes that make the lone girl player uncomfortable, player is really dumb tactically but insults the other players whenever they take damage, contributes pretty much nothing to combat,
>Party wades through the henchmen, finally corners Gedren
>Being a dickbag, Gedren's MO at this point is to say 'Well, if you're here I imagine I'm out of henchmen at the moment. Anyone who switches sides and helps me kill the rest gets to be partners in my organization."
>The backstories are designed to treat this offer as an insult (one player's mom died of a an overdose from his drugs, one player's brother was kidnapped, one player got kicked out of the guard cuz he framed him for corruption etc)
>Everyone says 'fuck you'
>Except Rogue

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>>53486385

>Rogue "Okay, I'll do it, but I'm the boss now, I get all the loot, and you're my subordinate now"
>Gedren: "Sure!"
>Initiative starts, Rogue rolls shit and goes last.
>Party actually kills Gedren before Rogue's turn
>Me: "Okay Rogue, Gedren is dead, it is your turn, what do you do?"
>Rogue: "I loot the room."
>Me: "Is there anything else you want to do before you start looting the room?
>Rogue: "....No?
>Me: “Okay. Gedren is dead. He will not fulfill any of the promises he made to you just now. Remember, your character only met these other adventurers today, they don't know you very well and you just watched them handily murder Gedren after you promised to kill them all. Is there anything you want to say before you walk out of threatened reach of three of them?"
>Rogue: "No... I loot the roo-OH WAIT I SAY Hey guys, I was just lying to Gedren, I was totally gonna betray him and stuff”
>Me: Okay. Now. Is your character lying?
>Rogue: “I MEAN no I was totally doing that.”
>Me: “…Roll bluff. The rest of you can roll sense motive if you are suspicious of Rogue, you don’t have to if you think he’s telling the truth.”
>Everyone at the table rolls sense motive
>I did not realize Rogue took no ranks in Bluff
>Rogue rolls a 4 total
>Rogue: “Alright guys…I’m gonna start looting the room now…”
>Rogue walks away
>Three characters take attacks of opportunity on him, killing him instantly

Rogue complained that the other players didn’t know how to play and that’s why he died. Rogue was eventually banned from the gaming store for cheating during a Magic tournament.

>>53486399
I love how this assclown was his character in real life.

>>53486399
>Alright guys... I'm gonna start looting the room now..."
>Rogue walks away

I can almost picture the shuffle.

>>53484961
>in that captcha
Are you serious

>Dumb Guy insists we should split up in the dungeon.
>Everyone else says that is stupid you never split up what are you scooby doo.
>Everyone goes right Dumb Guy insists he goes left to prove he had a good idea.
>Dumb Guy finds a door and gloats about how smart he was.
>Dumb Guy tries to open the door and gets shocked.
>Almost dies from the trap damage.
>Rest of the party finds a door after a couple more left turns in the cave
>Rest of the party uses the magic key rod to check if it is the real hatch or a fake
>Rod indicates it is fake so they move on.
>Dumb Guy gets pissy that they didn't get shocked
>Everyone ignores him
>Dumb Guys uses tracking to make sure he continues to go the opposite direction the rest of the party went.
>Rest of the party finds the real door opens it with the magic key and begins to discuss if they should go find Dumb Guy or just rest and wait for him.
>Dumb Guy makes the decision for them by yelling things in orcish while making lots of noise.
>Dumb Guy thinks this will teach them a lesson somehow.
>Rest of the party enters the door and locks it behind them.
>They do the whole dungeon without Dumb Guy.
>Dumb Guy suicides his character because now he thinks he is behind on xp.
>No one reminds him that we level up when the DM says and aren't tracking xp.

>>53486399
Correct response when your character discovers the guy in dark leather armor and a cloak who uses daggers and sticks to the shadows and speaks in a cockney accent actually is a thief and a liar is to just file that away for future reference.

>>53483147
This drives me fucking nuts.
I am in a Dark Heresy game that has gone on for 2 years now, and in the penultimate battle against an unbound daemonhost AND a rival force that is trying to snare it, a player asked how PEN WORKS AGAINST ARMOR.
It took the GM 3 minutes and minutely breaking it down before they got it.
I almost screamed.

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>>53487067
Jesus, why would he think this is a good idea. I mean I could understand the thought process behind splitting up to cover more ground or some shit, even if it is still retarded. But To deliberately head in the opposite direction after being fucked up? Christ. I'm glad I've never run into a dunce like this

>Everyone else says that is stupid you never split up what are you scooby doo.

at least I still got a giggle

>>53482903
Or maybe the werewolf passed its save? Black tentacles isnt some guaranteed to work spell.

>>53487067
This guy sounds like a 10 year old, jesus.

>>53488987
Black Tentacles doesn't work like that, anon.
It basically creates a magical swampland, you can't "attack" the tentacles any more than you could "attack" a magic missile.

>>53489269
You get a save against Black Tentacles.
You don't get one against Magic Missile.
It doesn't matter how you describe a successful save against a spell, it's fluff.

>Party Member explodes into fire monster due to a spell backfiring
>Bard is knocked out in explosion
>Bard wakes up alone in the middle of the snow
>sees large smooth indent in the snow leading away (very large, enough to walk though easily)
>decides to follow trail
>Thinks that it must be a seal
>Nowhere near water, decides it must be a land-seal
>sees fire spurts in the distance, decides it must be a FIRE BREATHING land-seal
>Turns out to be the fire monster
>gets fried to a crisp

Shame. His music was pretty good for morale.

>>53482577
I feel somewhat vindicated by this story in all the effort I put into my last 5E campaign on rules for how magical blackmarket auctions would work. I wanted players to be able to buy and sell magic items but in a way that wasn't 'ye older fiendly magical shop'

I would have had escort quests like this as well for cuts, I would of course have factored in the cost of the items and made them appropriate. If the players had worked out some way around it, good for them.

Of course the players never bothered visiting it but such is the nature of an open world game.

>>53483240
I'm not even sure why the DM is so mad about you wanting the gold option. Gold is pretty worthless RAW in 5E past a point and magic items are a lot more rare and valuable. The power gaming pick is the magic item.

My guess would be there's some le epic quest linked to that item or some bullshit like a curse so you have to take it for the railroad to continue in the GM's mind.

>>the DM also tried to convince me that my character wouldn't be the type to go for money over a legendary item.

Stop right there criminal scum. You tell that piece of shit DM that it is not his job to tell you why your character does something. He controls everything else, the world npcs monsters and environment. Not you. Your explanation, no matter how trite or bullshit, trumps his.

This is a "DM's Who Have Never Heard or Ignore Rule Zero" thread.

>>53489523
Ding ding ding.
Exactly right.
The reason he wanted me to take an item I assume was for that reason.
The reason I wanted the gold is, I have 50 soldiers under my command only equip with hide and I wanted to equip them all with chain shirts

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Best meme of thread

Just had one of these happen today
>We find a puzzle and I need a spell I didn't have prepared, so we all start to rest for a bit while I switch spells
>Paladin says he wants to explore while everyone else rests
>We tell him it's a bad idea but he goes anyways so another party member follows him to make sure he doesn't get into trouble
>He sees a room with a line of floor tile described as perfectly clean and walks on them instead of around them
>DM asks for a constitution save which he succeeds
>He keeps walking straight forward
>DM asks for another constitution save which he succeeds
>Still continues forward on the line
>He makes it 25 fucking feet into the room before he finally fails one and is paralyzed
>If the fighter hadn't lassoed him out of there, he would be dead
It got worse
>Another room in the same dungeon, an otyugh in a trash heap is stomping around a bunch of corpses
>We are brand new characters with very little combat capability
>We are hiding in a narrow hallway too small for it to chase us through
>Checking our ranged options to safely dispatch the creature
>Paladin hears a voice in his head that just says "help me"
>We tell him it could be a trap or a psychic projection from anywhere
>Stealthy character scouts the room for any sign of life and finds nothing
>He decides that the voice must be coming from the room and immedlately charges off with sword in hand
>He fails and falls ten feet down the trash heap landing prone
>Roll for iniative
>Every one charges in to save him using all our limited resources at once
>His first action is to run away

>>53482577
I have this vacant-faced whore of a player who was brought by one of my friends. I hate her.
>Forgot we were in the desert despite spending 3 sessions there.
>Built a face character but whenever they need her to face she says "you're going to have to tell me what to do/say"
>Wanted to be the daughter of a goddess, named her character Raven.
>Adds character features on advancement for no reason, just because she wants another feature. Never uses any of them.

Oh god, I almost forgot the worst one
>Guy plays Rigger in Shadowrun
>Never uses drones because they might take damage, preferring to shoot things with a pistol instead.
>Has no initiative boosting cyberware of any kind.
>Is surprised that he is bad at combat compared to the adept and the street samurai.

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>Group face constantly throws faux pas when talking with NPCs
>"What the fuck man?"
>"Nah don't worry dude, I'm just roleplaying my character."
They keep coming in such rapid pace and assburger way that I KNOW he is bullshitting.
Mind you the guy wasn't a face before so it's not like we knew what we were getting into.

>>53490238
We have this trouble with our face too.
He repeatedly asks if he can just roll for it.
Which is fine in and of itself, but he still needs to explain what he is trying to convince them of and he picks the dumbest most outlandish shit every single time.
It doesn't matter how well you roll on your deception when you are trying to refute evidence right in front of people's faces.

>>53486399
So, happy ending?

>>53487080
>Correct response ...is to just file that away for future reference.

I think the correct response is to kill their character so that they get pissy and never want to play with you again, because playing with people like that is fucking aids. These guys did the right thing.

>>53482577
I'm that guy.

Please be patient with me, I got 101 iq.

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Does it count if I'm the dumb fuck?

>Sci Fi game
>Stealth mission to steal ancient (projectile) weapons from weird military museum place
>party wants to get as much as they can done before setting off any alarms
>oh shit, a staircase
>oh shit, staircase is guarded by 3 heavily armed dudes
>party starts moving towards them
>no-one wants to be the one to actually RP to bluff past them
>be me, one of the quieter members of the group
>ah shit, guess I have to do it
>uh...'Hey, we're the inspection team'
>fail bluff roll
>'What inspection team? there's no inspection scheduled'
>'Yeah, it's a surprise inspection'
>fail bluff roll again
>they're clearly not buying it
>they start to move forwards with their hands on their weapons

Now, this sounds not that bad so far, right? Here's where I really screwed the pooch.

>negotiations have clearly failed
>decide we need to take these guys out before they set off any alarms
>could have coordinated with the rest of the party
>could have taken one each quickly
>I don't do any of this
>instead, i notice they're standing pretty close together
>decide it'd be a good idea to take them all out at once myself
>check equipment list
>yep, that'd kill them all
>try to sleight of hand a grenade into one of their pockets as they get close
>a fucking grenade
>on a stealth mission

Long story short, they noticed, the dude with the grenade in his pocket tackled me, we both exploded, alarms went off everywhere and the rest of the party barely got out alive.

This happened last week and I still haven't figured out why I thought it was a good idea to do that.

>>53482903
>salty that a werewolf passed a dex save, which it is probably proficient in
>being a bad player
Pick 2.

>>53482959
It's not even math. 1 plat = 10 gold. 10% of a plat is 1 gold. An int 4 character should be able to do it.

>>53491428
>4 Int
I dunno.
That's barely above squirrel.

>>53486961
The awkward cough, then the words. Then shifty eyes and a shuffle.

>>53489269
>>53489393
To further this argument, if you had spell immunity or something and ignored the magic missile damage, you could probably fluff it as reflecting it into the sky, or absorbing it with your hand.

>>53491533
Not him, but it would be one thing if he had immunity, but that the GM has the monster roll to attack the tentacles is as nonsensical as attacking a magic missle. It doesn't work, rules wise. Sure, you can fluff immunity that way, but not just veto your player's ace in the hole and say "Oh, he attacks the unattackable *roll* hits and *roll* cuts the tentacles doing X damage: the spell ends because it took too much damage".

That is just pure retardation.

>>53491662
Is that how it went down? It easily could've been
> *roll* werewolf passes save
>"Uh, he rips 'em off and charges for you"

We don't really know.

>>53489434
Ahab and his white seal.

>>53491744
>Ripping tentacles out
>with a Dexterity save
I am pretty sure you fluffed that wrongly.

Other than this, even if it had made the save the werewolf would have been affected because, and I quote
>For the duration of the spell, the tentacles make the difficult terrain.
yet in the post, it was said
>the werewolf was pretty much completely unaffected.

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>>53482577
>Plays shitty joker with a laugh more suitable to Penguin
>Nobody likes it
>I-I-I was tricked! Bamboozled! Swindled!

>>53492090
This.
Do you people know how Evard's Black Tentacles work?
The save is a strength check to not be grappled, but so long as you are in the area of the spell, it counts as difficult terrain, costing twice as much movement speed and you can't charge or run, unless it also had an ability to ignore difficult terrain.

>>53491337
This is fucking gold

>>53482577
>GMing a tiny oneshot dungeon in a retroclone
>characters have d6 HP, weapons deal d6 damage
>somehow player thinks just tanking 3 zombies is a good idea
>after they go down nonlethally, another player uses the only bandage the group had to heal his 1 missing HP instead of helping the downed PC that he was using as a meatshield while swinging halberd from behind her
>doesn't even realize somehting about this is wrong until I point out the unconscious character

holy fuck I seriously need to run more meatgrinder games so my players learn some common sense or just have their characters drop like flies and never amount to shit

>Party wants to buy an airship
>Airships don't exist in the setting, but levitation magic does, so I allow it.
>After a fun little adventure, they finally have a flying ship and are ready to leave the port town they were in.
>Edgy wizard player decides at the last second to attempt to release a plague on the city
>Makes no effort to hide this from the rest of the good aligned party
>Ends up tied to the front of the ship as a figurehead

>>53491337
You precious thing

>>53492414
Sounds about right

>>53491337
Are you in special-ed, Anon?

>>53490238
>face
>That guy decides he wants to play a face in shadowrun
>Acquire nonfunctional android slave
>Set up to meeting with shady group to repair android
>Turns out shady guys are actually Android rebels
>Wants our android back, talk about human oppression, yada yada
>Face decides to tell them that they deserve to be slaves and we aren't giving ours back
>Group goes back and forth ooc on why that is the dipshittiest thing to possibly say
>Face decides to stick with it
>Androids shoot him in the face
>Face player gets mad
>Everyone else: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU THINK WAS GOING TO HAPPEN?
>Face player goes on about "muh rolls"

>>53489868
>>Another room in the same dungeon, an otyugh in a trash heap is stomping around a bunch of corpses
>>We are brand new characters with very little combat capability
>>We are hiding in a narrow hallway too small for it to chase us through
>>Checking our ranged options to safely dispatch the creature
>>Paladin hears a voice in his head that just says "help me"
>>We tell him it could be a trap or a psychic projection from anywhere
>>Stealthy character scouts the room for any sign of life and finds nothing
>>He decides that the voice must be coming from the room and immedlately charges off with sword in hand
>>He fails and falls ten feet down the trash heap landing prone
>>Roll for iniative
>>Every one charges in to save him using all our limited resources at once
This all seems fine and perfectly in character for a paladin.
>>His first action is to run away
ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING.

>>53489868
this sounds like he could just be playing the character

>>53494303
So many face players in Shadowrunner max Charisma and use Logic as a dump stat. That may actually have been completely in character.

>>53495009
no, he just couldnt grasp why telling ex-slaves that they deserve to be slaves is a bad thing.

>>53494866

Looks like someone just became a fallen Paladin .

>Deep beneath the earth, our party fights an earth themed battle against an earth elemental, a stone golem and a rock/bug thing.
>Our druid, who often tuned out when it wasn't his turn, asks of us a question.
>"Which is better, strength damage or constitution damage?"
>We tell him the virtues of each, but as a group agree that Con damage is usually better.
>He says he has a plan, we ask what it is and he refuses to elaborate. We collectively wince.
>His turn comes and he declares that he shall wildshape into some mushroom creature.
>We ask why, and he informs us that he shall poison our enemies.
>Our stone-like enemies.
>Our "immune to poison" enemies.
>Our GM tries to explain why that won't work and even offers to let the druid take back the action, but our druid does not understand why he cannot poison a rock.
>He refuses to change back and engages anyway.
>He nearly dies.
I have more stupid stories to tell, all from that one player.

Oh boy do I have a lot of these, all in the same campaign too.

> Start series of one-shots that will eventually bloom into a full-fledged campaign.
> All of the PCs are monster hunters to some capacity.
> Enter one character who uses a brace of pistols. We'll call him gun guy.
> First 2 sessions he's not much of an issue, except he's constantly trying to get more pistols.
> Dude already has like 6 flintlocks, any more and the strange looks people give him are gonna be the least of his isssues.
> Gun guy eventually gets to like 10 flintlocks and 1 musket.
> If the NRA existed in this world even they'd tell him to fucking chill.

But now for his actual stupid actions.

> Third session, we're being stalked by a super-powered serial killer.
> Get the impression he's an expert ambush fighter.
> I hatch a plan to have our weakest member feign distress to lure him out, then we light him up.
> Gun guy gets impatient and decides to stealth into an alleyway.
> Is shocked and upset when the killer brutalizes him.
> Ironically the guns saved his life. If he used a quieter weapon we may not have heard him being murdered.
> My character has to preform back-alley surgery to save his life after slaying the serial killer (the other guy with us was not very good at fighting, so I kinda had to solo him)
> Later down the line our team tried to raid a vampire's lair to free the people they're keeping as slaves. We got them out but lost our heaviest hitter in the fight. Now we're alone in the woods.
> Gun guy wasn't there for that session, but he was there for the next.
> Decides to infiltrate the group of vampires hunting us through the forest.
> I'm partially to blame for this because I suggested it as a joke.
> Somehow these vampires are cool with a random mortal mercenary helping them. GM was being nice.
> Gun guy decides to get over to us by pretending to get caught by us.
> Not knowing what the hell is going on, we call him by his name (the vampires weren't in sight).

cont.

>>53495871
> Gun guy says we shouldn't be able to recognize his character.
> We ask how and why, is he wearing a mask?
> Gun guy says "I bet you guys all think my character's hair is black, right? Well it's actually blonde!"
> We ask him why the fuck he dyes his hair.
> He says he doesn't. But since his character is a blacksmith, he's always working in the forge, and the soot and ash makes his hair black.
> Even if that was what soot does to your hair, this means his character must not bathe or wash his hair.
> This man is married. Even had us take an hour of a session for the wedding ceremony.
> Queue 10 minutes of arguing about this.
> Rest of the session plays out normally, playing a violent game of cat and mouse with our vampire pursuers while trying to protect the freed prisoners.
> There's 4 vampires, the big one, the edgy one, the hot one, and the religious one.
> I kill the religious one a lucky crit on my handaxe, which was coated in holy water.
> Big one is taken out by NPC markswoman bro after badly wounding 2 other PCs.
> I faked a surrender to stall the big one, it worked but then the edgy one kicked my unarmed ass and choked me out.
> He's flying off with my unconscious self.
> Gun guy points 2 flintlocks at the edgy one.
> Everyone in the party says "But what if you hit anon's PC."
> He says "I don't think you understand, *his PCs name* never misses."

It's a miracle I didn't die from a stray shot.

>>53489868
>why do you do this shit Leeroy?
>Leeroy, you fucking moron.

>>53491337
>stealth

In your defense, no one can hear anything when they are dead.

>>53491337
>"It's a surprise inspection"

>>53492414
Was he screaming the whole trip?

>>53492138
Werewolves tend to have not shit to pretty good strength, so it saving against strength spell isnt unheard of. Especially since he was lower level than thr intended class level so DC would be lower than normal.

Werewolves also tend to have higher base speed. And since Black Tentacles doesnt have a long range. Doesnt surpise me it went down the way it did.

Save and still has enough movement to get to player.

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>>53494174
Jeeze how many years has it been

>>53495730
What a railroad DM. You're meant to say yes but. You're meant to fail forward.

This one become a legend in my group:

>be paladin
>elf ranger from party receive a letter from the elf leader, calling him back
>me and the rest of the party (thief, warrior) follows
>elf leader tell us that they will receive an attack by drow elves and asks him to plan a defense
>our elf tell him to count on him
>he buys a lot of combustible material and prepare several fire traps around the elven city
>we warn that maybe this isn't a good idea, he ignores
>he looks through the soldiers and then promotes a warrior named Rey Arteb to protect the leader and his followers
>drow elves attack, our elf shoots a fire arrow
>material burst in flames, forest fires start spreading everywhere
>other traps start bursting too, a sea of flames now burning everything
>most of the drows hadn't even started to enter the forest, they just retreated and watched as the elven city burned
>we have to retreat, finding a quick open space before we burn to death
>we later discover the leader and his subjects was killed because Rey was a betrayer.
I think I never saw a bigger fuck up than this one.

>>53496944
>being this stupid
That isn't railroading, it's basic game mechanics. Players can't use something the enemy is immune to and assume it'll work.

Do you think it's railroading if someone tried to burn a fire elemental and the GM said it took no damage? Because if you do, you're probably retarded.

>>53484840
Let him do it but he gets descending AC

"Oh looks like the monster hit the 2ac fighter again lol, this thing must be pretty strong"

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>>53497024
>that name

Really?
Just really?

>>53497470
Yes, no joke.

He gave Rey Arteb authority over the entire defensive garrison and asked him to especially defend his leader.

Now in hindsight... holy cow.

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>>53497423

>>53486385
>>53486399
More like this.

>>53496944
Sounded like he failed pretty far forward to me.

>>53483240
Why the fuck are you still playing with them? Where is this, north Dakota? Is there literally NO ONE else?

>>53497423
It's funny you should mention fire damage, because the other I have of that player involves him trying to burn the unburnable.

>The party stands on the burning planes of hell, before them is a horned devil.
>The fight begins, their foe proves to be quite challenging. His spiked chain devestating the party martials.
>The druid declares to the party that he has prepared the perfect spell to disarm our foe.
>His turn comes, his allies wait for their salvation, he casts his mighty spell!
>"Burning Disarm!"
>...
>"Now he has to drop his weapon, he can make a reflex save to avoid taking fire damage"
>...
>The GM declares that the devil does not drop it's weapon.
>Our druid argues that he must, the spell says it disarms, the save is just to avoid taking fire damage.
>The GM looks over the spell description, he informs the druid that the spell does not force a disarm, it only damages any who would not drop their weapon.
>The druid concedes the point, having realized his 1st level spell is not a no-save disarm.
>"If he really wants to hold onto it then fine, he takes fire damage"
>...
>This is not the first devil he has fought, every previous devil has been immune to fire.
>The devil takes no damage, the druid pouts.

>>53492103
Im the joker baby

>>53498273
my party is level 8, we're like five-six months deep in this campaign, and they don't fucking understand DAMAGE TYPES AND DAMAGE RESISTANCES

Our Archer who literally does nothing but fire arrows every turn every fight and legitimately does nothing else in or out of combat spent an entire fight last night plinking away at the ONLY ENEMY THAT WOULD RESIST HIS ARROWS

I made every effort to explain without outright saying "don't shoot him you retard" and this thick headed mother fucker could not comprehend how an arrow doesn't really do much against a rock elemental.

This archer player is so dumb that he makes the rest of the party dumb as fuck too. One of the other players is also a moron but has more insight/less arrogance than the archer so he isn't just wrapped up in his own retarded version of reality, on his own he'd probably be fine.

The archer player will convince him of the dumbest shit that would only ever possibly in the archer player's dumbass la-la land he lives in

the party's saving grace is their sorcerer who is a clever enough guy, at the least clever enough to be like "Hey guys this is retarded" every once in awhile, and also me being way too lenient and helping them way too much

>>53482577

Fucking idiots. A character with 6 int could do that math. Children can do that math. It isn't even math, you're just adding a 0 at the end of the big number.

5,000 PP is 50,000 GP. Add a 0.

10% of something means divide by 10. That means take away a 0.

50,000 GP. Take away a 0. 5,000 GP.

They're fucking idiots.

>>53498973
Character with 6 int waters from mouth, anon.

>>53499049
Doesn't matter, character is an adventurer, so they SHOULD know how money works.

>>53499049
Where else should you water from?

>>53499108
I mean he could shit himself or piss himself.

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>>53497024
>be elf
>put fire in forest

>>53489593
unless someone is metagaming, that is

>>53482577
I am that guy a lot thanks to a generous supply of brain farts. I just stop thinking somethimes.

>Be part of a 10 man party
>Complete clusterfuck
Told to travel trough a cave for a reason I don't even remember
> cave with a shit ton of webs, but no spiders, in one of the big nets in one side of the room hangs a golden key
>Possibly to the giant gate we see further into the cave
>Rationalize "Oh the spiders must've all died, I mean its just the cave entrance, tons of adventurers must go trough here"
>Even better thinking I go "I'm gonna start climbing the web for the key"
>Everyone is yelling at me, but GM instantly makes it so
>Lo and behold, a gigantic spider plops down

But in my defence, after I got out of the web my battle plan was solid. I was behind the spider with its back turned to me and all the other players in front, obviousl- No the GM made the fucking thing sit on me before I could do anything. Its been almost 10 years and I am still salty.

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>>53497470
>>53497610
i dont get it

>>53499783
Rey Arteb
Betra Yer

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>>53499816
now I feel even dumber.

>>53499049
Isn't 7-8 int baseline for humans according to dnd?

>>53482577
>she starts shouting
>DM agrees with her and shouts
Nigger what kind of disrespectful idiots are you playing with?

>>53496944
Failing forward doesn't mean "failing advances your goals," it means "failing advances the action." If you try to poison an enemy made of stone, failing forward means the unaffected enemy punches you in the face.

>>53502373
8 is baseline average for adult human.
4 is baseline for functional sapient intelligence.
Meaning if we function that anything below a 4 is severe mental retardation than 6 would have to be at least child like.

Basically it would only be questionable at a 4. A 10 would be slightly above average.

>>53492414
Why do you even play TTRPGs with teenagers?

>>53502373
I thought 10 was the baseline, and down to 8 meant you were so dumb you had a speech impediment.
While wolves had like 3 int.

>>53490370
> i want to intimidate
> alright, roll for it
> i pass
> Ok, so what do you actually say
> ????????

>>53503266
>4 is baseline for functional sapient intelligence.

Wasn't it 3?
That's about toddler level but any creature with 3 is eligible for a rolled intelligence stat.

>>53503275
We were in highschool at the time, so it was kinda unavoidable.

>>53503379
8 is only a little bit below average. Even down to 4, we're still dealing with functional human range intelligence. Really stupid, but not vegetable. Why there's this huge dropoff from "literally retarded but still functional" to "squirrel" by dropping just one point from 4 to 3 is the matter of much speculation, but the obvious answer is because you want most of your stat range to cover stuff that your PCs might actually use, and only reserve a small chunk of it for animals.

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Sort of a dumb thing, but to be fair, I fucking back it as the GM, since the player told me the justification behind it.

> playing Boruto-era Narutoverse DnD clusterfuck
> players are doing the Chuunin Exam, a series of tests to see if they can be promoted
> it's a gauntlet-style run, with a single non-combat recovery section partway through
> i use this area to introduce the PCs to other canon characters, like Boruto, Sarada, Shikadai, etc
> they also meet Shinki (pictured) and his team, Yodo and Araya
> three of the four players are polite, saying that they must have been strong to make it so far through the exam, etc, etc
> PC called Arata (not Shinki's teammate Araya) starts talking shit to them, being offensive and hostile towards them, talking down to them and talking shit about their Village, the Hidden Sand
> Team Shinki is confused, as is the rest of the PC team, but they chalk it up to rivalry due to the Exams and let it drop
> after the gauntlet half of the exam, before the team fights, the PC team run into Team Shinki again in a store, buying supplies
> as before, 3/4 of the team is polite, say they don't go up against Team Shinki in the finals since it'd be a tough fight, etc, etc
> Arata continues to talk shit, saying that it can't've been that hard and that Team Shinki just got lucky
> Team v Team battles arrive, the finals of the Chuunin Exam
> Team Shinki takes on another team, PC team watching
> Shinki glances to see if PC team is watching, and completely destroys the opposing team almost single-handedly with his Iron Sand
> Team Shinki comes back up to observation area
> before anyone can say anything, Arata starts talking shit to Shinki
> halfway through his sarcastic tirade, Shinki raises an arm, and without a word, blasts Arata off the 20-30-foot high observation deck with his Iron Sand
> Arata breaks most of his limbs
> Player said he did it because Arata liked Shinki but was too autistic to show how

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>>53504125
>playing Boruto-era Narutoverse

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>>53504696
Salad a cute

>>53504696
Because it was easy and there's not a lot of canon material, allowing me to add things as I see fit.

My next non-sequel game might take place during a Shinobi World War though. I haven't really thought about it

>>53504125
The motivation makes it even worse, just being a typical cocky asshole is more interesting than that.

>>53505226
Nah, I liked the way the player is taking it. He's a great player, so I don't have any issues with it. It was also that he has a mad inferiority complex compared to the rest of his team, and so tries to cover it with bravado and bluster, but obviously didn't know when to stop.

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>>53497024
>>our elf tell him to count on him

he had no idea what was coming

>>53505226
No it doesn't, that's not even bad.

>>53483240
Your DM is a freedom hating faggot. INT of 10 is incapable of math? wtf? Someone with an IQ of 100 is apparently incapable of making basic decisions about money. Also class does not determine anything about your character's brainpower that is actually autistic. Show your DM this please because he needs to know coming from another DM that he is an idiot and needs to let players play the game the way they want to.

>>53485436
Not being able to talk to people at the game table OOC is retarded though. There is no lesson to learn if the DM is this stupid.

>>53489658
Seems reasonable to me. On a side note, is it just me or do DM's not know how to manage players having large numbers of followers? It's not really that difficult.

>>53489982
My GF was like that when I was DM. Almost exactly the same, but she wasn't a sperg. She didn't enjoy the combat but she really liked just hearing what her character was doing so she just kind of turned in to an NPC that the rest of the table would use for CC spells. Was weird but whatevs.

>>53496944
Nice B8 lol

>>53495060
Sounds like a shitty game, period

>>53492411
Too many video games

>>53496944
I smiled

>>53505761
What? lol

>Players are fighting a faerie prince on a derelict space station.
>One musclebro plant dude, a DMPC I added to increase party strength, and Dumb Guy.
>Dumb Guy is playing a rogue-type character, but does absolutely no roguish things.
>At one point, he lit a young dryad on fire with a thermite grenade because why not.
>Fast forward to boss fight, Musclebro and DMPC are engaging in jolly cooperation while Dumb Guy fucks around, missing every shot he takes due to his poorly built character.
>Dumb guy decides to climb up chandelier chain and cut it. I tell him that the Boss is nowhere near the impact site.
>Dumb Guy cuts chain anyway, drops to the floor, taking fall damage and goes unconscious.
>Boss kills him, musclebro laughs, kills boss.
>Dumb Guy is legitimately confused by this series of events.

>>53498273
>Doesn't have energy resistance removal nor immunity piercing
>Mfw my character melted an acid-immune enemy to death
Shortly after, though, the build I'd made for fun turned out to be beyond what the DM could balance around and had to rebuild him into a 2hander character.

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>homebrew modern setting with not!Berserk plot
>entire White House cabinet murdered, assailant unknown
>players decide to investigate as they're heading a supernatural creature refugee group and they're concerned the attack will get blamed on them
>one player nopes out of investigating, realises they're gonna get themselves set up if they go in
>the other two travel to Washington outskirts, reach couple hours pre-dawn
>martial law in effect, they've got an hour before curfew breaks
>oh shit patrol, better hide
>one camouflages, the other melds into the walls
>sofarsogood.jpg
>patrol walks past their alley
>player in the wall says "I'm gonna trip one of them"
>spookily trip a military patrol on the lookout for supernaturals after an unprecedented terrorist attack
It goes on for a while more, but it leads to everything going awfully wrong and eventually a TPK, except for the third party member who stayed at base and shitposted all over the internet to help them out.

>>53495730
Do tell!

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>>53508196
>Players are fighting a faerie prince on a derelict space station.
>One musclebro plant dude

Dude, are you running a Metamorphosis Alpha game?

>>53483240
Your dm's a piece of shit.
>but i went for money earlier
>you did but you dont have the thing you bought so it's irrelevant
What's even in his head? shit?

>>53496944
Checkd

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>>53482577

>>53490238
what does face mean?

>>53508527

Face is the guy who does the talky things. Usually has good stats to back it up.

>"I rolled a 20 looking at the item I pass"
>What are you trying to do here? You just rolled for no reason
>"Whatever that would be best right now"
>Are you trying to figure out it's history? Figure out what it's worth in gold? Trying to see if it's got magic in it?
>"Yes"
>Alright since you're trying to do everything at once the DC is incredibly high, you'd need to try again and look for specific things about it
>"But I rolled a 20 those are always successes"
>No they aren't
People quickly learn to fucking say what they want to do before they roll if you make those rolls fail no matter what the total is

I was one half of a dumbfuck team once. It was years ago so my memory is a bit off though.

>Dark Heresy Ascension
>I'm a psycho, other dumbfuck is a Knight.
>One way or another the bbeg gets a Titan, it makes landfall outside the city.
>Me and dumbfuck agree that we ought to deal with this. The campaign so far has been pandering to our Magor player and the rest of us are a bit bored.
>The plan is to use my Molton Beam power on the titans head.
>I know, good plan.
>The only issue is getting close enough, Knight says it's not a problem.
>I missed a session, came back as his plan unfolded.
>We're pretending to be window cleaners.
>I climb the titan.
>Molten beam doesn't work, somehow escape.
>Magos PC hacks the titan three sessions later and it's ours.

>>53508669
I almost wish my players were this stupid.

>>53508901
In his defense, it was his first session and his only "real" exposure to d&d was all those shitty nat 20 auto win stories

He improved after he figured out I fucking hate the whole "you rolled a 20 the king thinks you're the actual king and his crown to a 1st level nobody"

>>53508954
My players have been playing for 4 years.
They cant remember things I said 4 seconds ago.
They dont take notes.
They wait for me to describe the flavor text of every miniscule action including getting out of bed and getting coffee
They cant remember their rolls, the rules, or what is required to succeed.
They argue whenever they fail.
And yet they come up with the most intricate fucking plans, assuming everything is going to be just hunky dory.
And if I forget one little detail of one of their plans, and have to ask them, the plan maker, keep and executor, they lose their shit and complain that I'm an unfocused DM and cant remember shit.

> Playing a module that takes the party to the Demonweb Pits
> wizard decides to scout ahead himself
> zooms around flying, runs into a low-lvl drider and eats a 35 dmg lightning bolt
> player starts tearing his sheet and glaring at me (DM)
> he has managed to make a 16th lvl wiz with less than 35 hp
> Gets revived by the rest of the party, together enter the portal to Deamonweb Pits
> Get ambushed by drow archers, wizard fly-charges into them screaming he's going to kill them all
> Gets hit by a banishment arrow, appears on Prime Material in a village where the story starts, has to run back to the portal.
> Rest of the party decides he's disintegrated and continue without him
> Wizard re-enters Deamonweb Pits, decides to explore on his own, because "lol, solo xp"
> Casts invisibility
> Enters a room that looks like a slaughterhouse with all the dismembered drow corpses, a handful of cowering live drow, and a single black, froglike humanoid standing among them.
> Uncharacteristically, decides to withdraw
> Gets into another room full of vrocks, starts fighting them, gets rekt, runs away with barely any hp left
> While running away, hears vrock dying screams behind him
> Decides whatever can kill vrocks is worth ton of xp, so he goes back to kill it
> Rounds a corner and bumps into the death slaad
> I'm looking for a way to let him live, see Power Word Blind
> He has barely any hp and gets perma-blinded
> Starts teleporting randomly around
> Ends up outside web tunnels
> Hears something nearby (bebilith demon)
> Decides to cocoon himself in spiderweb to hide himself, even though he's invisible
> Gets eaten by the bebilith because he's stuck in the spiderweb and cannot move

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>>53509006
>> Decides to cocoon himself in spiderweb to hide himself, even though he's invisible
>> Gets eaten by the bebilith because he's stuck in the spiderweb and cannot move

>>53489710
Welcome to 4chan, newfriend, but what you posted is not a meme.

>>53509006
Same player, low-lvl campaign, a friend is DMing
> plays a wizard
> his previous three wizards have died, this one is named simply "Wizard IV"
> investigating a camp of friendlies that has been raided
> Finds a line in the ground inside captain's tent
> Hits it with his qstaff
> Chants at it
> Casts Detect Magic at it
> Tries to pry it open
> Cuts himself and drips his blood over it
> Tries to negotiate with it
> TWF it was just a drag-mark from the captain's greatsword that someone stole and dragged away

>>53509002
Tell them to get fucked. If only for your own sanity. Seriously, anything would be better.

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>>53509156

>>53489500
The good thing is that you can reuse a fleshed out idea like that any number of times, as long as it's not the same players (or maybe even if is).

>>53509002
Honestly, I'd take your players over mine every day.

"The sign over the inn says Queen's Head"
"Moar liek Queen's Blowjob"

"The ork introduces himself as Gromnar Graymane"
"Moar liek Grognard Gay Man, lol"

"Some speak of a mage called Elminster"
"Moar liek Assfister!"

"The man's name is Edward Brown"
"Moar liek Retard Brownstain"

"His name is Bob"
"Moar like Shitface Assbutt, lol"

It's like they're fucking 14...

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>>53509245
>"His name is Bob"
>"Moar like Shitface Assbutt, lol"
I think the sheer absurdity of someone saying this irl got me

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>>53509245
Call the next monk they meet Fack Yuu.

When we were playing 3.5, our party once had this guy who was a horrible power-gamer. His goal was to overshadow the rest of the party by accumulating extra power and XP. But he was also genuinely awful at the game and couldn't build a character to save his life. Usually quite literally, since he died constantly and only really contribued when he was blatantly cheating on his rolls.

Probably one of the stupidest thing he did:

>Party is sneaking through the haunted woods for an ancient temple
>Encounter an evil cult
>They are lining up people to be sacrificed to summon a lich banished to the abyss we learned of in a previous arc
>Suddenly, dumb guy pipes up
>Declares that he'll pop out of hiding and get in the line
>But why
>Waits for his turn, we all watch baffled
>Willingly gets on the alter
>Gets disemboweled
>His corpse rots the front of us and becomes the new vessel for the banished lich
>Dumb guy: "I didn't think that would happen"
>Everyone else: "What did you think would happen?"
>Guy: "I thought I'd get some evil magic powers"

We almost TPK'd to the lich and only survived due to DM fiat.

>>53509002
I'd kill for a bit of flavor text.
I hate waiting 5 minutes for the DM to describe the shop I just entered and then get a random name and the price of what I want.
Fuck, just "The heat of the forge and faint clanking of metal echoes from the back room as you are greeted"

It feels awkward as fuck to just say "Hey, gib me armor"
and get
"D'okay guy, my name is Xerkerflep and I'm from the military, I loss me leg in the war, that will be 500 gold"

>>53509573
I agree. And I do lots of flavortext. But too much means that getting out of bed takes 10 minutes. And they've gotten used to it. Fuck, it seems like they're automatons that go on loop if I dont say every single thing they do. I once had a character say "So yeah, I'll get up out of bed" three times in a row when I just left it at "You get up." And my god it gives me a headache.
I just want them to describe what THEY want to do rather than make ME describe what they do. It's supposed to be my job to describe the environment and NPCs, but damnit their characters are theirs!

>>53509601
Yeah, that seems dumb, you don't need descriptions of getting out of bed. It should be something general like.
"After waking up [character fuck boy] takes a few minutes to lie in bed, before sprouting up and getting ready, donning his armor and stepping out of his room to [whatever the fuck your going to do/ambush by ficus ninjas]"

>>53509601

Why in the world are you describing what their characters do?

Just tell them so far you've been helping them out but the kids gloves are off now and it's their responsibility to describe their actions going forwards.

Seriously if you're describing everything in the game including the players you may as well play with yourself.

>>53509656
Yeah you're right. I think I'll do that next session.

>>53509681
>>53509656
Dm describes the world.
The player describes how they react to the world
Dm then describes how the world reacts to the player
So on and so forth until death.
Cause and effect.

>>53509656
I feel for >>53509601
Because sometimes you do need to tell characters things they wouldn't otherwise know, such as the way something tastes, and it's not too big of a leap to go from that to other things like telling them what food they ate and such.

First ever DnD session with mates who are mainly first timers, DM has played a bit before
>sneaking up on a mine overrun with goblins, guards outside with an alarm system rigged up
>discussing plan of attack
>come up with a decent enough flanking manouvre
>hopefully they won't have time to trip the alarm before we kill them
>discussing the plan quite in depth, lots of fun!
>discussing for quite a while
>a little too long for some
>dumbfuck fighter: fuck it guys you're taking too long, i throw one of my javelins at the guards
>rolls shit
>DM decides to spare us, the javelin misses by so much the guards don't even notice
>edgelord barbarian (who is an elf waifu btw): fuck it, yeah me too....throws javelin
>roll initiative
>...
>in the end we decided to brute force an attack because at this point who gives a fuck
>DM has to plot armour us to avoid TPK
Was so fucking mad at those two dickheads for wrecking our plan
>but anon it says on my character sheet i love to throw shit, see...
>it's actually written right there on his character sheet
>eddgelord: my character is actually insane guys, check my sheet
>of course it's on there
It got worse on the second session...

>>53509743
>wiped out the goblins with the help of some plot armour
>find one who is still alive
>interrogate him for info
>find out an overseer is en route to check on mine
>must be the source of these goblins who stole this mine
>better kill his party and interrogate the overseer when he gets here
>lay a reasonably intricate ambush that took an hour or so or drinking to devise
>mage casts invis on our edgelord barbarian who will stand over the lone surviving goblin and have him pose as a guard at the entrance
>plan is the gobbo will tell his boss it's all good
>boss will wander into the mine to be ambushed by our rogue who will be breathing through a tube burried in a shallow pit
>we'll then set off a log trap onto the rest of his party
>sounding pretty good
>overseer shows up riding a warg (can't remember if that's correct by monster manual, you know what i mean though)
>goblin puppet tricks him into going inside
>rides past the goblin and the invis barbarian holding a dagger into his back
>almost there boys...
>this is gonna be a fucking sweet ambush
>fuck yeah! can you get me another beer senpai?
>loving this RPG thing
>edgelord waifu barbarian: i pat the wolf
>entire setup is fucked
>combat goes decently
>i neglect to heal the edgelord despite him really needing it
>fighter nets him out of spite in combat (see i love throwing shit guys)
>unfortunately he survives
>released from net
>tries to murder fighter
>thwarted by me shielding him
>gives in due to low hp
>b-but i'm insane guys, i warned you

>>53489710
saving this for next banner competition

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>>53509305
More like Fack POO, lol

>>53504800
is naruto a good rp setting? do you use a homebrew?

>>53498973
Anon, I'm a math teacher and I can tell you, there are 10th graders who don't know how many meters a kilometer is. I'm living in a country with the metric system, mind you.

>>53503382
Ask for his plan first and adjust the DC to how good his plan is. That always works well with my group.
>"what are you doing here? This place is off limits!"
>"we've been sent by commander *insert correct name here* to replace you in your guard"
Alright, let's say DC 11

>"what are you doing here? This place is off limits!"
>"that's not what your wife said."
Nah mate, no DC for you. Not even a roll. Initiative it is.

>>53511117
Do they have 10 int?

>>53503382
>i want to intimidate
>alright, roll for it
Well there's your problem. Players don't get to declare the skills they're using, they describe an action and you tell them what skill to roll.

>>53511295
>they describe an action and you tell them what skill to roll.
sounds better

even if the player thinks "I'm gonna roll for intimidate" it still engages him more if he has to describe how he does it first, or if it's occ he may feel weird about describing how he would intimidate the poor peasant and decide not to

>>53487067
>>53486399
>>53486385
It's like if It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia did D&D episodes

>>53510680
Naruto is a pretty interesting setting from what I remember of it, but it's also Naruto and probably fucked that up somehow.

The basic premise is that the world is full of hidden ninja villages that have shaky alliances so that they all don't kill each other in full blown ninja warfare. Each village has a specific element that they specialize in due to the geography in which their village is hidden. There are also special ninja magics that are passed down through various blood lines and so magic eugenics and clan politics is also a thing. There are also massive mythical monsters that were sealed away into people to contain their power.

Naruto's story is actually pretty cool but then sort of gets fucked up somehow eventually I can't remember it's been a while.

>>53511387
What kind of ninja wears a bright orange jumpsuit?

>>53511422
Obviously a That Guy ninja. Probably thinks he's the center of the storyline.

>>53488924
There are many times in role playing games when splitting up is a good idea. Inside of an unknown dungeon usually isn't one of them.

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>>53489434

>>53491452
It's four times higher than a squirrel.

I have a few examples from my current campaign.

>group is going to find a mountain troll craftsman to get a magic mirror for an oracle
>outside the trolls cave they are told that the troll hates the oracle and whatever they do they must not tell him that the mirror is for the oracle
>inside the troll asks them why they need the mirror
>"It's for the oracle"

>later in the campaign the group is taking an ancient talking animated head up to a monestary in the mountains to get what the head is saying translated
>they travel up a river and get stopped at a border crossing
>they get asked about their business
>"a secret society sent us on a secret mission so we can't tell you"

>>53482577
Well, I'm a forever GM, so I have LOTS of stories, and lots of people, because I tend to purge dumbfucks after several instances of dumbfuckery. I think the absolute dumbest, although by no means my only story, is the following.

>Longish campaign
>Players part of this multinational organization, something akin to a fantasy UN, but with an actual military/paramilitary
>Doing secret agenty missions
>Along the course of adventure, identify a certain traitor, a relatively minor mage.
>Not 100% sure she's secretly working for the other side, but about 95% sure.
>Still, don't have proof, and suggest that keeping her alive will let them control what information she obtains, wheras if they kill her, there will likely be a new infiltrator that they on't know about.
>Start dragging her along with them on adventures so they can keep an eye on her.
>Openly call her a traitor to her face and hope for the day she makes a mistake so they can hang her
>One day, they have this crevasse to cross. System doesn't have the sort of transportation magic in any useful fashion, so they make a rope bridge by throwing a grappling hook across the ledge, anchoring it in some stalagmites, and spiking down the side on their end.
>have the entire party shimmy across slowly at once. Do not take Traitor NPC with them, or put any sort of guard or compulsion on her.
>One flame spell later, they're all dead, or would have been if I didn't railroad around the obvious TPK by dumping them in a weird spacetime thingy when they fell.

>>53489393
That anon told me the previous time that his GM didn't roll ANYTHING AT ALL, so the salt is justified fully.

>>53488987
>>53489393
Don't talk about things you obviously don't have any idea about. You have to make a save/pass a grapple check every round you're in the tentacle field, and your movement is halved while you're in it. You can't just end the spell by succeeding on one roll.

>>53512024
>or would have been if I didn't railroad around the obvious TPK by dumping them in a weird spacetime thingy when they fell
stop saving people, it's the only way they will learn.

>>53512538
At least in my experience, killing them off, or making them experience other consequences doesn't make them learn either. In fact, it can sometimes be counterproductive; those sorts of players tend to not invest anything into their characters and don't care much when they die, especially if it happens regularly. Here's another story, different group

>Have to meet a shady guy at a shady inn, looking for employment.
>Character makes a Knowledge(Local) check to discover that the place has an absolutely shitastic reputation, the kind where they drug your drinks and rob you blind if you come in as a stranger.
>They have enough sense not to drink there
>They do not have enough sense to avoid storing some of their important gear in the tavern's storeroom.
>After making that error, they compound it by leaving no guards or wards on their stuff even after I prompt them to do so and remind them that this place has a reputation for theft.
>Spend about an hour negotiating with quest NPC
>When they come back, half their gear is gone, including the wizard's primary spellbook.
>WHAT THE FUCK ANON!? HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN!?

They didn't even try to recover their stuff, and if I could get a word in edgewise I would point out that since the door wasn't forced and the lock doesn't look picked, the obvious culprit is the tavernkeeper, or he'd at least know who would have gone in. But it broke up in autistic screeching.

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>>53509462
>Willingly gets on the alter
>Gets disemboweled
>Guy: "I thought I'd get some evil magic powers"
I think he wins the crown prince of dumbass award