Food Thread

>>53453851
Those are some fat cat tats.

>>53453865
You mean some not-so-itty-bitty kitty titties?

>>53453865
>>53453876

That being said, what is that confection between her ample bossoms?

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>>53453865
>>53453876
Cat's not on the menu.

>>53453885
Taiyaki

>>53453885
Taiyaki. A pastry filled with sweet bean paste.

>>53453851
>>53453898
>Iron chef campain with monster races each bringing their species' best cuisine
>The hottest sauces of hell
>The freshest meat and fish caught by beastmen
>Orcs' soul food
>Arachne Cow Smoothie

>>53453958
Dwarves bring their finest ales and anvil grilled meats.
But what do the elves bring?

>>53453985
Elves are judges. After all, it would be simply unfair if they participated

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Read Dungeon Meshi. Pic unrelated.

>>53453985
Fruit from vines carefully tended by druidic magic for millennia and the wine made from it.

>>53453985
Fruits and vegetables which are magically delicious. Thought other races frequently protest the use of Magically Modified Organisms as an unfair advantage in the competition.

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>>53453958

>The beastmen and orcs bring in a massive cage with an angry boar.
>They set down the cage and several warriors take position as the judges look on in confusion
>The boar is unleashed and the warriors set upon the boar fighting it to the death with their bare-hands
>In the background a massive, rune covered meat block is set out and a sleek looking grill is set up
>After some time many of the warriors are wounded but the boar is killed finally having been strangled to death
>The shamen wearing an apron leads the ceremony to ritually cut the various parts of the pig butchering it with great skill
>Various meat dishes are made from the parts and the air is filled with the soul energy of the pig as various warrior spirits from the past bare witness of the sacrifice .

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>>53454032
I do. And it frequently makes me thing of food in RPGs.

No one has the baker's dozen screen caps?

>>53454032
Those are some cheap tidepoolers.

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>>53453898
For shame!

>>53453985
Tofu, kale and half-caf soy lattes.

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>>53453851

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>>53454820

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>>53454032
I slightly edited this to use as a flyer handout for my Eberron campaign; just to remove blatant modernisms.

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>>53454899

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>>53453898
> Cat's not on the menu.
u wot m8

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Gastromancers are an underappreciated magic school

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>Broodwich
>This mysterious object from hell cannot be deconstructed or taken apart except for when it can.
>It is the most delicious sandwich in the world except for that it lacks bacon and has sun-dried tomatoes. Which might be a bonus to some but others might think it's kind of annoying.
>Anyone who consumes the broodwich is instantly taken to an alternate dimension where Jerry shows up.
>Jerry is always about 10 levels higher than the PC who eats it and he has an axe.
>If the PC's merely taken a bite of the broodwich he's only teleported there long enough for Jerry to threaten him.
>If he eats all of it then he's teleported there permanently.
>If the PC deconstructs the broodwich a mysterious voice will force him to either marry a skeleton or have brain surgery where he (in his lobotomized form) will obey all of the voices commands which will mostly be to finish off the Broodwich so Jerry can kill him.
>The Session ends before Jerry can do it.

>>53455367
every thread. like clockwork.

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>>53453851
I just watched this today and noticed its food porn game was on point. Glad I have a thread to post it in.

http://www.catsuka.com/player/kung_fu_cooking_girls

>>53454050
>the MMO meme again
I don't care what the dwarf propaganda says, they're perfectly safe and as good as normal vegetables

>>53456878
intensely boring, just renamed real-life dishes

>Half' n' Half

>A snack beloved by both young and older ogres alike the Half' n' Half is perfect treat for a tribe on the go. The meals recipe is simple (much like the ogres themselves), preparing well in advance the ogre must first bisect an unfortunate halfling with any knife on hand. Then, after the excess blood has drained, the ogre must fill any available space with smushed goat cheese. After both halves have been filled, they are wrapped up in two separate crude cloth containers and hung upon the ogres belt. The Half' n' Half is usually eaten a day or two later, once it has reached peak ripeness.

>>53458738
Is that a wrap?

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These kind of threads make me hype for battle chef brigade

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Bread is magical.

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>>53458738
Always loved this art. Love the expression on the veteran's face looking at the fresh faced soldier, looking all nervous now he's actually in combat. All the while the vet is just chowing down on a nutri-wrap.

>>53459122
A E S T H E T I C

>>53455355

>how to ruin 3 perfectly good steaks

>>53459712
>Mimic confused watermelon and bread.

>>53459900
Is that popcorn?

>>53459824
If the cuts of meat have been made into something that somebody wants to and is going to eat then really they've done their job.

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>>53459916
yep

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>Holding out hope for Baker's Dozen

Some crazy roleplayer actually made themed ration meals for a bunch of races.
http://imgur.com/gallery/BWnHF

>>53461250
I thought drow were supposed to be poor and basal? Why are they eating caviar and escargot for field rations?

>>53462046
Drow aren't poor: their goddess Lloth is crazy obsessed wityh providing for them: the main reason they haven't gone extinct is because lloth makes them the fastest breeding elves, and, when she gets bored of the current crop, she just makes more drow out of whole cloth.

>>53462046
>Implying Snails and Fish eggs wouldn't be a staple of subterranean spider-worshippers diets.

Anybody got the link to that old thread about fantasy fish, plants, and other ingredients?

>>53454958
Most people here aren't old enough to get it.
I am. Kudos, anon, some fond memories of this show watching it with my brother.
Until the last episode ;_;

>>53458738
>The hell is wrong with you?
>You gotta eat, boy, you can't fight on an empty stomach

>>53465684
Alf always freaked me the fuck out as a kid. It's this otherwise charming family show except for this fucking terrifying pet eating pig monster is a main character.

>>53458535

For Link though who have been subsisting on red potions and hearts it is a feast

"Hums the cooking theme"

>>53453985
Lambas?

>>53466033
It's lembas you pleb

Also, does anybody have any ideas for fantasy space food? Like the kind of stuff one would eat onboard the Spelljammer.

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>>53466422
Never played Spelljammer, so I wouldn't really know how you'd make it different from normal fantasy or sci-fi food except maybe to blend it? Weird colored vegetables? Food that's best eaten while still alive, like some kind of big grub that's weirdly delicious? Astronaut ice cream...?

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>>53466422
I always thought good space fantasy food would have lots of exotic sandwiches, and a good selection of imported foods from different planets/planes. Celestian springwater in bottles and rust monster dust-rubbed steak, with a side of Feywyld potatoes in the captains cabin though.

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I know these are mostly chefs and not food, but somebody's gotta cook it.

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...Except this guy, I don't think he's a chef. Unless anybody who makes a sandwich is a chef.

(I wouldn't eat that sandwich.)

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Do you think wizards or druids could do anything to ensure fruits that wouldn't usually be in season are available, at least in metropolitan cities? Assuming the druids are willing, for whatever reason; maybe they get something in return, I dunno.

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>>53466879

>>53453851
This ain't a fucking chef art thread, post food or leave.

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>>53467210
Why don't you go eat shit, asshole?

>>53466887
I could see an arrangement where druids help farms produce lots of surplus throughout the year in exchange for limits placed on hunting and civilized farmland expansion.

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>>53466422
Something that's alive/growing for long voyages.

>>53467901
>that pic
Not sure if cute or disgusting

>>53454444
Good taste.

>http://goblinpunch.blogspot.com/2014/07/disgusting-peasant-foods.html

Funny article, give it a read

>>53467901
H. peckii isn't edible though

>>53456634
>says the increasingly mutating man again
Fuck off with your knife ear propaganda

>>53459122
All I could hear in my mind watching this were the cries and screams of the tortured during a xenocide.

>>53453996
well, did he?

>>53454032
I'll never not laugh when reading "cinnamon johnies"

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Brägele mit bibiliskäs und wurstsalat.

>>53454896
>Pier Buddies
>Good Like Last Time

Holy shit I'm dying

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>>53454032
>white pips : Nature's mistake
Jesus

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>>53459839
>Humans are somehow MORE tempted to reach for it
>Other mimics start imitating it and pretend to be alternative cuisine
>It actually inspires humanoids to create genuine dishes based on the mimics' ideas

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>>53453851
Catgrill

>Firemelon
A plump red and black striped gourd filled with naturally crunchy pulp. The pulp ignites on contact with air and can sustain burning for many hours, to protect their seeds from wild animals. Consequently, firemelon cannot be eaten unless injected with a special herbal extract that neutralises the pulp before slicing it up. In spite of the danger, firemelon is very popular thanks to its sweet and spicy taste. It also sees use amongst arsonists and orcish siege weapons.

Firemelons do not keep well. If left to ripen into carnelian red, the fruit explodes and scatters coal-hot seeds everywhere. Since the damage done is ultimately less than the far wider-spreading flames, firemelons are used fresh. Rumors that say that the pulp is tastiest right before explosion have led to foolhardy experiments.

Firemelon skins and rinds can be mashed and preserved to make watertight lining.

>>53472969
>to protect their seeds from wild animals
that's... not how it works.

>>53473019
it is when "wild animals" include corrosive slimes

>>53454032
>Lamb
>Isn't a lamb
But thats none of my business.

>>53454958
>mfw there is a guro doujin which contains Alf
I do not have the sauce, but it shouldn't be too hard to find on the panda.

>>53476397
pretty sure it's by [Asanagi], no idea if part of Victim Girls series or a separate work

>>53471590
Good ol' Gormack, there was a lot more of that. The one with the troll was particularly entertaining.

>>53459965
No. That is an abuse of ribeye.

>>53454958
>>53465684
>Most people here aren't old enough to get it.
not that old in my country since the broadcast started in 1990

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>>53455589
When did Ramen Fighter Miki get renewed?

>>53453958
>Orc soul food

Detecting racial microagression. Cease and desist.

>>53459122
I think I'm gonna develop a fetish for this

>>53465727
>boy
That's a woman.

>>53472969
Fantasy version of the sandbox tree?

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>>53465513

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>>53477919

>>53459965
>he says, as he saws a chunk from his leathery slab of well-done steak and dips it into a glob of ketchup

>>53472969
>>53473019
>>53473047
I think I get it. The eventual explosion from over-ripening is what spreads seeds, rather than being eaten by animals? Might also be some salamanders or other fire resistant animals that eat them on the reg.

>>53453898
A shame, it looks juicy and well marbled.

>>53470889
doesn't stop it from looking delicious

>>53476334
yeah mate i don't think that's a genuine peach travis either

>>53478373
And if other foliage in the area burns down it ensures the new plants have very healthy soil and plenty of sunlight.

It still doesn't make sense.

>>53465513
>>53477919
>>53477941
what are these from?

>>53482188
read the image you stupid cunt

>>53478101
This is now a Trump hate thread.

>>53482695
but anon,
I can't read moonrunes.

>>53483663
good thing the important part is in english! Though I don't know if you can read that

>>53455355
Wow, that is amazing amount of work to take all those delicious ingredients and make them look like a shitty squished ham sandwich at the end.

What the fuck? Everything in that picture looks better separate than as the final result. Unbelievable.

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This has to do with food.

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>>53488781

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>>53488795

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>>53488806

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>>53488821

>>53453851
http://archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/52911245/

>>53477481
Ironic shitposting is still shitposting.

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>>53470889
Of course not but we're talking about fictional foods for long-term space travel.
Can't you imagine one of those the size of an ottoman that produces thick globs of a nutritious sour-sweet jelly?

irl they do have some medicinal potential

>>53465786
I was almost alfophobe. Simply hearing the name "Alf" would make me shiver with fear.

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>>53472969

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>>53455355

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>>53496037

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>>53465529

>>53504092
>be American
>this actually turns me on

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>>53453851

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>>53505445

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>>53505475

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>>53505479

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>>53505498

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>>53505510

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>>53505522

>>53504092
Holy shit dude this is a blue board

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>mediocre cook
>get a job doing product demonstrations for various food products
>decide I'm going to cook real food, so I go and buy a cooking magazine
>it happened to be Fine Living and the Italian food issue
>my playgroup is going to come over to play some commander and drink a couple beers, so I attempt to make dinner
>tried to make this fancy fucking lasagna
>comes out terrible, I just throw it in the garbage
>try to make some burst tomato and ear pasta dish
>turns out pretty good, no complaints from my group
>hastily made some Clementine Granita thing at the last minute
>it's as if the clouds parted and pure sunshine rays filled my mouth
>my group devours it voraciously, eats the giant bowl of leftovers I had in my fridge
>every single game they literally beg me to make this clementine thing
I'm glad that I made delicious food, but holy crap is it annoying to make twice a week.

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>>53512049
I know how you feel, anon.
>sporadically decent cook
>Part-time/Temp warehouse worker
>Bake Orange Blossom Cookies because they sound easy and good
>It's like eating an Orange Creamsicle in cookie form
>Make about three dozen for RP group
>None left at the end of session
>Co-workers are bringing in homemade goods, joke about me bringing in something
>Fuck, maybe I'll give the Tomato Soup Spice Cake recipe that's been passed down my mom's side a whirl, but in cupcake form
>Think I may have overdone the allspice and nutmeg a tad
>Bring it to work anyway.
>Lesbian co-worker says she damn-near came from the taste
>Why does she have to be gay? This is like the third lesbian I've got along so phenomenally with! Is it some sorta curse?
>Other co-workers compliment me on how awesome it came out.
>ohstopityou.jpg
>Make another TSC, but in it's normal Bundt form, bring to RP
>"Holy shit, anon. Bake more things!"
Turns out that, while my basic cooking is hit or miss, my baking skills are my secret weapon.

>>53512270
Lesbians are usually pretty cool, or tremendously terrible. Don't forsake your gift by virtue of rug munching, every lesbian I've ever met has a legion of single female friends, and a good word from them is equal to half a set of abs or a modestly good job, ontop of whatever you bring to the table.

Also, if you can cook, you will get laid. Trust me. Don't say much, show up with great food, and be a gracious host.

>>53512342
I will never forsake this gift. They've all been downright cool.
One was a firefighter even though she was 4'8"
The second is a skinnier, female(formerly male) version of me, except better at living on her own.
And the third, the co-worker, was former Army, with the right combination of chocolate-brown skin, well-toned muscles, cropped hair, and curves in all the best places, who could shit-talk with the best of them, while still being down-to-earth and a generally good person.

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>>53512484
Holy shit anon, you know my type. I love nothing more than short tough chicks with a chip on their shoulder. Excellent taste.

I'm a "progressive" guy in the sense that I look like a manly man despite being an artsy fartsy type, and those kind of ladies just love it when they get to tell you to fuck off after you ask to help them with something heavy.

>>53512584
Firefighter was probably the bro-est one going. We spent an entire hour-long car ride in the back seat making penis puns, and just generally driving her ex-bf and his fiance up the wall.
It helped that we both went by the same name, so when either of the two up front called for "anon" they'd receive "What?" in stereo.
Every. Fucking. Time.