What chaos god do you worship and why?

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>>53391021

Slaanesh, no matter what I choose I'm getting fucked over, at least with Slaanesh I'll have fun with it.

>>53391087
This. Also because fuck doing things by halves

>>53391021
I worship all equally.
Parts of chaos can't hate you if you worship all of it.

>>53391021
Xiombarg because a real chaos god doesn't adhere to rules and structure.

Malal. You probably haven't heard of him.

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Why would I worship something that doesn't exist?

>>53391021
new chaos gods when

>>53391021
Slaanesh

because i want to git gud and enjoy lifes pleasures

>>53391246
who?

Nurgle. My life is ever-stagnant, the same shit every day.

>>53391021
The only down side of Nurgle is that you look bad, but you're going to be warped into a freak no matter which chaos god you serve so you might as well choose the chaos god who will take away your pain.

Khorne makes you so angry that only killing can give you momentary peace, Tzeentch makes you crave knowledge and then uses that to string you along and make you a better pawn, Slaanesh turns you into the worst addict imaginable, Nurgle makes you love everything and be at peace with death. The choice should be obvious.

>>53391672
>The choice should be obvious.
Malal?

>>53391685
Malal has all the downsides of Khorne but you're also friendless since Champions of Malal work alone.

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>>53391021
I PERSONALLY FIND SLAANESH TO BE THE BEST ONE, I FOR ONE PREFER A NEIGHBOR THAT MAKES NOISE INSTEAD OF A DEAD QUIET ONE!

>>53391021
I think they're all too dogmatic and narrow in scope, but if I absolutely had to choose, I'd choose Malal.

>>53391021
Khorne.

I fucking hate you faggots.

>>53391021
To be fair nurgle is the only rational choice

>Khorne
Not as bad as Tzeentch or Slaanesh, but you will be exposed to a LOT of violence and you will slowly lose the ability to feel anything but rage, however you'll be physically stronger and tougher

>Slaanesh
You will be faster and more inclined to practice skill however it will never be enough and you will always push yourself further and further, losing sensation as you do so forcing you to further extremes

>Tzeentch
Cool magic shit and knowledge, but you might randomly become a mutated blob or used as a pawn

>Nurgle
You become effectively immortal and incredibly hard to kill, you will however look fucking gross and be bloated and diseased, however you will take pleasure in the diseases and find you're actually quite happy with life

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>>53391306
Now I want to do a CSM warband that "worships" Necoho and is led by a Chaos Lord named "George Costanza".

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I choose the sublime glory of Chaos Undivided.

>>53391021
I choose Aristotle.

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Tzeentch.

I thought I had a choice, but I didn't

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>>53394072
This. Doesn't matter who I worship so long as I fulfill my function with excellence

is Charles Darwin a chosen champion of Tzeentch?

>>53394050

This. If you're gonna sell your soul ya may as well get boons from all the guys who are offering shit and get the best of all worlds.

>>53391021
>Tzeentch
>a set form
"no"

>>53391021
Who would I choose? probably Nurgle, I could keep my sanity, which Tzeentch would intentionally take, slaanesh would alter my senses and perception of reality and khorne's follower's are usually depicted as raving blood hungry lunatics.
Who am I most likely to fall to? Slaneesh, not just because I'm a fucking degenerate (of the most patrician variety) but also because I'm ambitious.

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>all these wretched fools falling in line for yet another abusive daddy corpse-god
Nurgle is the actual worst chaos god.
Say what you will about slaaneshi whores, but at least they have an ethos
I chose Khorne because it isn't even a fair contest. Reality MUST burn.

Malal: because fuck you guys, I just wanna shitpost

>>53395824
>>53394050
pfft, enjoy not being claimed by one of the four powers after death, dooming you to eternity as a Chaos Fury.

Such is the fate of the indecisive

>>53391021
I worship Khorne because I have a sense of honor unlike all the other traitorous bastards. (Except Nurgle, he's cool)

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>>53396884
I was chosen for immortality, you were only chosen for death, worm.

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>>53391021
Slaanesh of course

>>53391021
Tzeentch because I want to know everything even if it drives me mad

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>>53391685

Khorne

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>>53391021
Malal.

Chaos subscribing to dogmas of excess and disease and trickery and berserker rage etc. is fucking hilarious, because the entire point of Chaos is, well, to be free of dogmas.
Chaos gods in their current iteration are not truly chaotic, they are simply antithetical to the Imperium.

Rolled 13 (1d100)

Slaanesh. Because if I don't, she'll make the static on the vox lines even louder.

>>53391021
Nurgle because I get to live forever, and I get to say good luck Ebola-Chan.

>>53392304
>they're all too dogmatic and narrow in scope
This

>>53391672
Only Deathguard lost the sensation of pain because it was specifically part of Mortarion's agreement to serve Nurgle. Any other poor sacks of puss like yourself worshiping Nurgle like the idiots you are will find themselves in continual and constant pain until the day you die

>>53398264
>Chaos gods in their current iteration are not truly chaotic, they are simply antithetical to the Imperium.
Fucking, so much this. This is the biggest turn-off for me about the warhammer chaos gods. It's one of the most annoying aspects of the settings.

>>53392938
>Nurgle
>you will take pleasure in the diseases and find you're actually quite happy with life
No you won't

>>53397512
I imagine this must be one of the most delightful occasions a Chaos Space Marine can have. Showing up in some back water world where the people sort of have an idea of what Space Marines and what not are like but know that most of them are kinda weird and even a bit heretical in their beliefs. Then you just go ahead and corrupt an entire planet cause you're a celebrity now.

>>53398264
>Chaos gods in their current iteration are not truly chaotic, they are simply antithetical to the Imperium.

They're created from Immatorum via the subconscious desires of mankind / sentient beings where reality is warped by psychic energy. They are about as chaos as you can get if you know anything about Jung. Being free of dogma is self control not chaos.

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>>53398712
>subconscious persona is chaotic
Yeah, right, my little Jung, your input is noted, but not appreciated.

>>53398742
Freud is thoroughly debunked at this point. W's kind if like Einstein - laid the groundwork for a lot and was influential, but was wrong about almost everything.

>>53398780
freud is more correct than a lot of modern psychology, the whole field is full of trash

>>53398830
Freud is even more off than what passes as psychology these days. It's always been a pseudo-science ffs

>>53398886
okay yeah, but at least freud is fun

>>53398633
Yea you will. Nurgles followers are jovial as fuck.

>>53392938
>>53398633
It's not pleasure-- it's acceptance and complacency.

Still the better endgame desu

>>53398959
>Like trains?
>You must want to fuck your mother like me

True enough he is pretty funny

>>53399057
Exactly. It's only a very small step away from having an excuse to say "oh, you tell people about your dreams? That means you're a faggot"

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Slaanesh because I want to experience all sensation, every song, every chord, every flavour, every scent, the extremes of pleasure and pain.
I want hot candle wax poured down my back while I eat chicken soup with cinnamon and cayenne pepper, I want to burn 6 different incense sticks at once, I want to be whipped while having my hair pulled and my neck bitten, give me an orgy of sensation and I'll just want more.
Also I'm kind of a perfectionist so that applies too.

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>>53399187
good news, having candle wax on your back while eating chicken soup with cinnamon and cayenne isn't particularly hard, you can even do all 6 sticks of incense while you're at it

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>>53399216
I'm thinking rosa, aphrodesia, opium, honey+lavender, whatever is in dragon's blood incense sticks, and vanilla for the incense.
Then more.
I just said chicken soup because it's the easiest thing to add those ingredients to. I could do beef, pork, or even all three. Don't forget all the vegetables though, onion, garlic, leek, celery, potato.
Cook some marinated pork marinated in excessive flavours.
Slaanesh is clearly the best god.

>>53399286
The problem with pleasure is that dopamine abuse means you constantly need to up the ante to get the same amount of pleasure, so pretty soon your pain fantasy will just lead to your incredibly painful suicide orgasm involving the most painful death for the best result.

It starts of comfy and sexy, then ends with you being murder fucked by a Slaaneshi demon.

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>>53399324
I wanna keep going and see if I can achieve dark apotheosis.
Besides, in order to achieve excess in it's greatest forms of pleasure you need to take downtime too, sleep in, relax, enjoy the hangover. Then when you hit the pleasure and pain again next time it hits just as hard.
Sensory deprivation is just another form of pleasure if you're kinky enough.

>>53399324
so one should avoid pain fetishes, good idea

>>53399367
Ad infinitum, your dopamine release levels will hit a a certain parameter and can go no further without extreme sado masochism where you murder or are murdered.

>>53399376
>Avoid

To bad you'll be surrounded by Slaaneshi demons who will tempt you with pleasure unimaginable until they kill you because they get off on tricking people :^)

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>>53399427
the daemonettes don't kill everyone though, some worshippers always survive. And once you get to a certain threshold of power you're almost certainly safe, as you'd be strong enough to kill the daemons, and slaaneshi enough that they wouldn't want you to die anyway

>>53399488
>the daemonettes don't kill everyone though

How much can you lift fagit, there is no way you will strong enough to fight them off. Also, no, the daemonettes usually kill their own followers including cultists.

Unless you're a swol Chad/10 who also engages in Test Bundy tier behavior, then you're pretty much just going to be Dom'd to death.

>>53399555
that's the point though, you become that person. Just do tons of steroids and get super fit and aesthetic, slaanesh would love that shit. Then you can even go on raids to other planets for sex slaves and whatever, and let the daemonettes take some for themselves. Corrupt a few others, eventually kill the rest.

>>53399609
Steroids won't fix your small dick or ability to reach the top shelf, manlet. Why are so eager to join a cult that 90% of the time leads to you being murder fucked by demons for all of eternity?

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>>53399632
better than the other cults


also i'm 6'2

>>53391021
Tzeench, because Just as planned.

>>53391021
Khorne, I guess.

light yagami

Shiva

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>>53391021
You gotta ask?

Is it permissible to worship a lasgun?

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Gork n Mork

>>53399960
kill yourself.

>>53400023
It's literally chaos magic in it's purest form my dude.

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>>53391021
>Worshiping Chaos
>not worshiping Logos

I Shiggy Diggy

>>53400059
haha CHECKED!!1
go back to r*ddit/the_donald

>>53391021
Chaos Undivides here, but definitely leaning towards Slaanesh because of following reasons:
>No matter how logical we think we are, we're still subject to physical and emotional stimuli, and as we experience stimulation we simultaneously numben, thus we need ever stronger and new sensations
>No matter how altruistic we act, there is always a core of selfish indulgence in our actions, something that makes us feel good about ourselves
>No matter how humble, we all love compliments and praise, affirmation of our sense of importance within the world
>No matter how stoically we tend to our daily tasks, none are ever as fulfilling and easil done while being our best quality than those who appeal to our own desire

Slaanesh lies at the core to every thing.

>>53400112
It's sad that the most powerful magical sigil in internet history gets such a faggy reaction out of people.

Open your third eye and don't be such a tool.

>>53391021

Probably go with Khorne.

I got a lot of pent up road rage. I imagine he'd gift me a sweet rage fueled death machine to drive and send me loose on many worlds.

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>>53399427
If I'm murdered I don't get to serve Slaanesh and experience sensations, sounds like a lose lose situation invented by someone blind to the glory of She Who Thirsts.
>>53399555
>>53399632
Why do you think Slaanesh wants manly man men? Slaanesh likes androgyny. Daemons of Slaanesh are more likely to favour a small femme boi over a big tough guy.

>>53391021
khorne, because at least he will be honest with me.

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>>53400000
I think Khorne could take on two oversized bumbling Orks easy.

>>53400000
Not Chaos Gods and they are weaker than the Chaos Gods.

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Who does Trump worship?

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>all this heresy

>>53391021
>worshiping only one
>worshiping them
>not trying to become all of them
>not striving to DEVOUR THEM ALL AND BECOME CHAOS ITSELF

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>>53401243
>>53401273

>>53399632

> Steroids won't fix your small dick or ability to reach the top shelf, manlet.

Yeah but this is Slaanesh we're talking about, penis growth is usually baby's first warp blessing.

>>53401356

Seriously though, Trump would make a badass Tzeentchian cult leader.

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>>53401356

>>53401428
T.malal

>>53391021

One of the things I like best about Chaos is how good a job has been done (eventually - it took a couple of tries to get here) making each god appealing and terrifying at the same time. I want what Slaanesh is offering but I know that I'll ultimately end up just as bored as I am now but a million times worse because of how much hedonic adaptation I'll have gone through. I can get down with Nurgle's all-loving acceptance but I can't bring myself to give up on all the things I want to do and be. I would love to have Tzeentch's helping hand in realizing my ambitions but he'd unmake them just as quickly, just for the Hell of it, and I'm not stupid enough to think I could out-keikaku the god of keikaku. I appreciate Khorne's meritocracy but I don't want to live a life where every time I want an orange juice I have to prove my worth in mortal combat to get it. I could have the best of all worlds if I try to go for Chaos Undivided but am I really gonna bet my soul on my being a bad enough dude to thread that needle indefinitely?

>>53401356
Trump is seriously a fucking dumbass. Probably no one. He just has no clue what the fuck is going on.

>>53402052
That's a hot take

>>53399555
>Dom'd to death
Eh, doesn't sound like a particularly awful way to go

>>53391021
Mork. He's the most kunnin.

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>>53401356
He's Chaos Undivided

>Cuts healthcare - Nurgle
>Rapes environment - Nurgle

>Fucks Ivanka - Slaanesh
>Hooker pee fetish - Slaanesh

>Launched missiles at syria - Khorne
>Wants war with NK - Khorne

>Elected on lies and false promises - Tzeentch
>Playing 5D Chess with Nuclear Weapons - Tzeencth

Or...maybe, pic related

>>53402052

I don't know of many fucking dumbasses that became billionaires and achieved the position of U.S president.

So it's said that Khorne has the largest and more numerous of armies both daemonic and mortal. That no god can match the number of swords raised in Khorne's service.

So....why is Khorne so popular among the masses?

>>53402458
theres a little part of everyone that wants to kill

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>FOOLISH MORTAL! THINK YOU, TO TURN WARS AGAINST ITS MAKERS?

>WE WILL FEED UPON EVERY BLOW YOU LAND, EVERY BLOOD DROP SHED, EVERY BONE BROKEN, AND EVERY SKULL SEVERED.

>IN BATTLE WE WERE BORN, AND FOR BATTLE WE EXIST.

>THE REIGN OF YOUR SWORD SHALL BE (??????) TO US, AND IN HOSTS UNCOUNTABLE WE WILL FIGHT YOU.

>FOR EACH ONE OF US YOU FELL, ANOTHER SHALL BE BORN INTO WAR UNENDING. BATTLE WITHOUT CEASE. TO THE END OF THE WORLD AND THE UNIVERSE BEYOND.

>THE (????????) OF WAR CANNOT BE VANQUISHED!

>GREAT MAY BE YOUR FURY. YET THE HARDER YOU FIGHT, THE STRONGER WE SHALL BECOME.

>THERE IS NOT A BLADE FORGED BY MAN OR GOD, THAT DOES NOT BELONG TO US.

>EVERY LIFE YOU TAKE, SHALL BE A LIFE DEDICATED TO US. AND YOUR VICTORIES SHALL BE OURS AS WELL AS YOUR DEFIANCE.

-From the Audiobook "Aenarion".

Another question about Khorne.

How can he be defeated? The more you fight against him the stronger he becomes. He feeds on your hate, anger, and blood. Your warmaking is his warmaking.

>>53402509

Simple, don't fight with hatred or anger, but with love for mankind and a fervent thirst to fulfill the Emperor's will before oneself.

>>53402402
Knowing genzo, this bothers me.

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>>53402509

Samurai Jack, episode VIII: Jack versus Mad Jack.

Take notes.

>>53402537
Genzo? only thing i really found was a Japanese serial killer.

>>53401356
A lesser known Chaos god called the Almighty Dollar.

>>53402509
You don't fight at all. You lay down your arms, adopt a meditative pose, breath deeply, and calm your mind.

>>53391021
Good thread.

I worship Crom the Killer. The ultimate chaos god. He can kill everyone. Although he is not known to you all, he was made canonical to the Warhammer lore by me and my best friend. If you think that he isn't canon I am ready to fight you in real life to prove you wrong.

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>>53402942
But even peace serves Khorne.

>>53401356
Himself.

He sits on a golden throne. Everywhere. Nigga has worse style/taste than Persians, gypsies, niggers, and blind mexi-Chinese combined.

He is the emperor. The orange emperor.

Except instead of being a dead body with an all powerful psychic mind, trump is brain dead with an all powerful psychic hairdo.

>>53401568
No. Breast growth is.
Chances are all penis magic into a new hole.
Because new holes is where it's at.

How are you going to fist a penis?
Seriously. It's almost like slaanesh hasn't even glanced in your direction.
You'd probably cancel Christmas, wouldn't you, you puritan.

>>53402426
>became
Capitalism is take money and turn it into more money. There is a system. You just plug daddy's millions into it, and voila, billions.

Also. You forget who was the last republican president. That's right, Nobel prize in physics and mathematics, Georgie boy. He would have won the Nobel for literature, but he can't read. Just like trump.

You don't know of many, because not many people can fit in your mother's current boyfriend's trailer.

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>>53403124

> Capitalism is take money and turn it into more money. There is a system. You just plug daddy's millions into it, and voila, billions.

Capitalism is not that fucking easy. Very few people can take 1 million dollars and turn it into billions, Trump is one of them. It takes tremendous skill and intellect. Very few people indeed are capable of becoming a billionaire, and achieving the U.S presidency.

> Also. You forget who was the last republican president. That's right, Nobel prize in physics and mathematics, Georgie boy. He would have won the Nobel for literature, but he can't read. Just like trump.

Why do you assume I'm a Republican, and why do you bring up George Bush? His Nobel Prize and supposed illiteracy have nothing to do with Donald Trump's intelligence.

> You don't know of many, because not many people can fit in your mother's current boyfriend's trailer.

Nice Ad Hominem, faggot, I never knew my parents.

>>53402402
Wrong.
He is the God Emperor.

>>53398986

Nurgle daemons are jubilant as fuck.

>>53403124
>Capitalism is take money and turn it into more money. There is a system. You just plug daddy's millions into it, and voila, billions.
Most people who win the lottery end up poor within a decade. Most people who become millionaires don't then go on to become billionaires. Most people born into wealth don't end up wealthier than their parents.

Creating and maintaining wealth is not easy. The average person may end up wealthy through a stroke of luck or an accident of birth, but that average person will almost certainly go on to lose some or all of it. The best a person of average intelligence who finds himself wealthy can hope to do is simply maintain it.

If becoming a billionaire is as easy as simply as having a million dollars and plugging it into a system I encourage you to go talk to a bank, they will happily loan you that much and more if you actually have a surefire plan to multiply it a thousandfold.

>>53403124
>this much hate for Capitalism
Tell us where the proletariat's touched you, comrade.

I would choose Slaanesh, get rejected, to tzeentch, get rejected, skip khorne cause i aint got bloodlust worth mentioning, and get picked up by nurgle.

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>>53403083
"How are you going to fist a penis?" you just had to ask didn't ya?

>>53394156

>muh teleology

Laffin at your spooks to be honest, family.

Malal, If I am forced to worship chaos I would rather worship someone that allows me to kill the most chaos worshipers

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>>53391021
Nurgle. Excuse my poor MS paint collage skills.

>>53391463
Malal

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>STDs kill degenerates and fags
>Retarded people like African niggers don't know how to prevent disease and everyone is better off for it
>Driving force to face challenges, but also recognizes that death is inevitable and that accepting it will come is the best thing to do
>God of struggle, family, tradition, things like despair and happiness, and inevitability - all of these and more are necessary for humans to function
Any corpse Emperor fags who haven't taken the Nurglepill are kidding themselves.

>>53404129
Sounds awfully Khorne there.

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>>53391021
What is this chaos thing??Some soul cuck fanfic?
>>53402509
I will just make non-warp FTL and breed with those Sisters of Silence.bye faggot!

>>53391021
I do not serve, I rule!

>>53392994
Why not a renegade and heretics warband of them instead?

>>53392938
>>Tzeentch
>might be used as a pawn
>might
Bruh

*sigh*

...Kids these days.

What are the other 4 gods on the chaos star?

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>>53404405
Holy shit is this a strawman mocking someone or is this nigga serious?

>>53404857
Malice, Urmum, U.S. Federal Bank, Wayne

>>53404857
Gork, Mork, Malal, and Horned Rat.

>>53391021
Khorne, if i had to worship any of them

>>53399376
Thats a thing I never understood? Why should Slaanesh be so focused on pain in the endgame? I mean, actually, it makes more sense to go with any emotion, but let it become the greatest perversion of it. If I could decide it would be maybe Nurgle. Since I enoy eating and drinking good very much, it would likely fall to slaanesh, though. Probably start eating things while their still alive one day, but hey.

>>53402458
The lure of hatred violence is far more common that the degeneracy of slaanesh, the convulted plotting of tzeentch and the disgusting filth that is nurgle.

Slaanesh is too weird for mass appeal.
Tzeentch is too confusing.
Nurgle is too nasty.

Man is a hating creature.

>>53405394
Slaanesh and Khorne have a certain overlap.

>>53403283
>What does the intelligence of the last Republican president have to do with judging people's intelligence based on achieving the presidency?

>>53405336
Pain is the endgame because it's representative of the extremes that Slaanesh's followers will go to for the ultimate experience. They have become so desensitized to stimulus, so numb to the world, that the only way they can feel anything anymore is to hurt themselves in the most horrifying fashions, and in turn, they wish to relish in that agony more, so they hurt others just as badly, they have experienced so much that seeing others go through it probably works as a contact high as well. Pain certainly doesn't have to be the end game for every Slaanesh follower, hell, I imagine a good portion of Slaanesh followers simply enjoy what they want to a gluttonous degree, but don't outright turn into freaks over it, but by the same coin as there being someone who simply eats and drinks rich, delicious foods, theres someone who gets exquisite pleasure from pulling out a person's nervous system and stringing it up like a harp to play their screams in a ballad of horror.

Slaanesh is extreme, and to living creatures, the most extreme step is usually self-harm and harming others.

>>53401356
he worships the might bus less known chaos god known as a'rab o'ilydi'ck

>>53405419
All the gods do, to a degree. Want. It is the core of desire in every being, and the core of every gods domain. Want of carnage, violence, blood, honor, respect, want of power, magic, twisting arts, and of knowledge and to change things, want of purpose, of survival, of love and family and keeping things the same, want of excess, of pleasures and sensations, and of a chance to perfect what they truly love most. Want is the most powerful and terrifying thing to a living creature, and those wants are the origin of all the gods

>>53399668
2'6
Ftfy

>>53402713
Hell yeah

>>53392994
How would you worship a god who opposes the very concept of worshiping gods?

>>53400091
You mean Cosmos.

the god emperor of mankind

because he's going to be the last chaos god standing

>>53406777
>>53392994
Be an atheist.
Burn churches.
Teach the priests the truth.
Have them join your warband.
Find a chaos cult and kill them.
Piss on their alters and books.
Break their blades and bury the cult in mass graves.
Congrats.
Necoho has noticed you and granted you nothing.
Thank nothing because there are no gods.
Only powerful beings to end.
And you shall end them.

>>53403848
Uh... Do you mean tell us where the burgoise touched us?

>>53398618

That's false though, Nurgle's entire MO is spreading misery and pain so people will succumb to him to make it stop. He's the DENNIS system in diety form.

>>53402402
The hooker pee fetish bit was actually created by an anon here on 4chan. The CIA ran with it with little convincing. It was a pretty funny joke though.

>>53391021
Slaanesh because I lost one of my senses and i'd like to have it back with interest.

>>53406008

George Bush didn't achieve his presidency legitimately, he cheated to win Florida and had massive Republican support, as opposed to Trump who won despite the efforts of the media and both political parties, and has no concrete evidence of cheating to do it.