I need some unconventional ways to hide a phylactery asap

>>53341794
Put it in the ceiling. No one looks up there.

>>53341794
Anus

>>53341794
It's one of the jewels in the king or queen's crown.

>>53341794

It's an otherwise ordinary bone in a huge pile of bones.

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Your phylactery is also an extremely powerful artifact. They NEVER destroy it. As soon as "heroes| find something even mildly useful to them, they immediately start going
>W-w-w-well, we'll just use it's power for good!

>>53341852
An otherwise ordinary rock in a huge pile of rocks

>>53341865
I have destroyed no less than seven magic items because the DM thought that way. It's just not worth it in the end.

>>53341810
bonus points if it's in the anus of one the PCs

If you wanna keep one on you, surgically sew it inside you.

>>53341794
Get a bro, make that guy your phylactery and he make you his phylactery
Now you two are immortal

Put it in orbit, along with a spellbook with teleport. The spellbook is important - Re-entry is a bitch otherwise.

>>53341794
Please remember OP, you are limited to Lichthralls stacked with Vassaliches, and the acquirement of an Epic-level spell that lets you split your phylactery into multiple bones owned by a single reclusive Netherese wizard on Faerun who's like, another Larloch which you can THEN use transmutation on.

And of course, are limited to the table of Phylacteries presented in the Libris Mortis, in addition of size category relation to your phylactery.

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Don't mind me, just a paladin watching to learn your secrets.

Make yourself the phylactery, but never stop talking shit about how unless they find your super secret hidden phylactery, you cannot be stopped.

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>>53341794
Make a bunch of phylacteries for your dog, then make your dog a phylactery.

>>53342105
>falls to the first stupid/stubborn but powerful adventurers

Good idea otherwise but barbarians are a thing.

>>53341794
>A single gold coin released into circulation.
>a warforged that the lich can control
>a rock he transmuted into a human heart and replaced the kings hearth with it.
>a sword enchanted to be invisible/indestructable

>>53342178
>>A single gold coin released into circulation.
risky
>>a warforged that the lich can control
it's like a backup body, nice
>>a rock he transmuted into a human heart and replaced the kings hearth with it.
king does a heroic sacrifice, or adventurers kill him anyway
>>a sword enchanted to be invisible/indestructable
that's cheating

>>53342137
W-would that work?

>>53341794
Lock it behind a magic safe enchanted to only open when an Evil act is done in it's presence.

Sure an Evil party will do it no problem, but if you're primarily worried about Paladins, it's as good as being locked inside Asmodeus's vaults.

>>53342216

So you set up a dungeon with a fake phylactery at the end, with all sorts of traps and monsters. Meanwhile, the actual phylactery is just a random skull in the corner of the room amongst a bunch of other bones and skulls. You hire a guy to lead the adventurers through the dungeon. He pretends to be a prisoner and when they 'rescue' him he tags along until the end, tells them "that vase! That's it!" and if they manage to notice the evil/magic of your phylactery is still around he just says the room is tainted with it after so long blah blah- they won't look into it, they'll drop him off in town and he can walk right back and reset all the traps and put a new vase on the pedestal.

Anal suppository. Face it, when you get killed nobody is going to perform a full cavity search on you!

>>53342249

then you put that safe inside a safe only a good act can open

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>>53341794
Stick it in a demiplane of your creation, which consists entirely of a stupidly elaborate dungeon with gravity that changes from room to room and is filled with traps and very powerful minions. The phylactery itself is an adamantium orb forged to be as strong as possible. Which is itself held at the center of the dungeon. Inside an adamantium safe. Which is inside an even bigger steel safe. Which is surrounded by 7000 skeletons in full plate. And they have a cave troll.

>>53342314
And then I'll mail that box to myself.
And when it arrives...

>>53342314
And then lock those inside a safe that can only be opened by a Neutral act?

>>53341794

Deposit it in a bank safe so that if you die you will be reborn a rich lich.

>>53341794
A piece of common jewellery, sell it to a pawn shop.

Put it inside a pissed-off middle-aged dragon's stomach.

>>53342345
>Some dwarf who buys it from the pawn broker then takes it home, melts it down, and makes it into a better piece of jewelry, destroying you in the process.

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>>53341794
The party is able to discern that the phylactery is hidden deep inside the Lich's ass

Upon meeting him they're confused to see that he's entirely skeletal

>>53342311
Your soul travels to your butt and begin reforming, adventurers notice, they kill you for good.

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A rock or something covered by skulls.

>>53341810
>>53341935
>>53342311
>>53342401
>>53342405
Butt ghosts the lot of ya!

>>53342367
Makes that a brass and synthetic gem jewellery.

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>>53341794
hide it in SPAAAAAAAACE
it's not like anyone but a powerful wizard who's also an undead can survive or make that trip anyway.

Ship it threw the mail to an address that doesnt exist from an address that doesnt exist, but with infinite postage. Adventurers have nothing on the mail system.

Or, even better, mass manufacuture a collectible card game and sell the phylactery as one of 100,000 cards via random booster box. Make is a chase rare and you are good.

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>>53341794
I hide it within a demiplane of my own creation.
Traits: No Gravity, Flowing Time, Self-Contained Shape, Static (or sentient, both are very good for the defense of a demiplane), Major Negative-Dominant, Strongly Evil-Aligned, Enhanced Magic (Negative energy spells) Impeded magic (Positive energy spells).

Literally come at me bro, you fucking can't, cunt

>>53342328
This, but make sure time passes exceedingly slowly in said demiplane. So that even once the adventurers have found your demiplane, navigated its hazards, and finally breached the safes you've already won.

There's no one left for them to save and you'll be waiting for them with your entire army once they return to find a way to destroy the orb.

>>53342444
Fine, make it a golden dildo. They'll detect evil energy but they'll figure its just from heavy use.

What exactly can a phylactery be?

>>53341794
>Using a phylactery for your immortality
>Not cultivating your mental powers until your psionic abilities can allow you to reject death and simply reform another body constructed of pure psychic energy
Plebs these days

>>53341794

The phylactery is a brick in the abandoned dungeon's masonry.

>>53342812
Doesn't the lich need to always be on the same plane as his phylactery?

>>53343043
>leaving your cozy float-cube
for what fucking purpose

>>53341794
A blink dogs collar

>>53341794
One of my favorites is to enchant an fuck huge adamantine rod and drop it in a sealed room with two gates on the top and bottom. So now you have a setup that looks like portal, what's next? Well you can use magic or tradional pumps but ultimately the room gets to a near perfect vacuum.

Let's do some math eh?

Due to the lack of friction and the constant acceleration of gravity the phylactory approaches the speed of light.

Assuming it's 200kg to make my math easier I'll assume the rod is falling like a freefalling skydiver, meaning

300000000*200=60000000000kgm/s

Which will slow down to if anyone breaks the seal of the chamber

56*200=11200kgm/s

Considering a even higher velocity then the kinetic bombardment we are working on right now, the phylactory will probably turn into pic.

In other words, violate your sanctum, get nuked.

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>>53343171
Sorry forgot to attach pic

>>53342328
>>53342865
And how exactly will you build that dungeon? Even without considering the absurd difficulty of creating such a thing...
If time passes extremely slowly there, then by the time it's done, your phylactery will be thousands of years as of destroyed.
And if you will be hiding in that demiplane while building the dungeon, imagine the changes you'll see upon coming back. If there'll be anything to come back to.

>>53341794
Tooth filling

Or just some metal nail used in the construction of the local tavern.

>>53341794
Dont.

You can be not an asshole and just do it the normal way unless you think your lich is a cool guy. Let them win and have their slices of cake as they feel strong for overcomming the mighty lich.

>>53341794
In the hafling's rectum.

>>53341794

That depends on what the phylactery is.

If it's a gem or something with an insane melting temperature, throw it in a volcano.

>>53341927
Well his fault for not pulling a will check.

>>53341904
Better: One of the grains of stone mixed into the concrete the forms the foundation of a neighboring kingdom's palace. You, the lich, have of course been making these people's lives better for centuries to ensure that it is well populated, the people are well fed, well armed, and thus, you are very well fortified. Of course, they would have to find not only THAT the foundation contains the phylactery, but where the fuck it is.

Put it on a stone altar prominently displayed inside an open, desecrated church.

The heroes will think it's a trap and avoid touching it.

>>53343477
Knowing him, it'll get found within the hour.

Inside of a person, maybe even someone of great importance/notoriety.

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>>53341810
>>53342444
The only way we know how.

>>53343875

>Lich with Christopher Walken lookalike minion

Hey kid, this right here was your daddy's phylactery. I hid this uncomfortable hunk of crystal up my as for 4 god-damn centuries to stop those filthy adventurers from getting their greasy hands on it.

The ashes of your old body

Hide it in an egg, which you hide inside a duck, and you hide the duck in a hare (don't ask, MAGIC). Then bury 'em in a chest.

Works every time, and a great hit at parties.

>>53341794
In the refrigerator.
Nobody ever looks in there.

>>53341935
"hes too strong."
>"No HERO the way to destroy him was inside you all along!"

>>53342303
good plan, but what about the guy? doesn't he need to eat and other stuff?
what is, if he is out of the dungeon when an adventure party arrives?
what is, if he dies (I doubt he is immortal)?
also, what is if a a paladin can locate the real one?

In a shoebox in the garage.

>>53342805
>Or, even better, mass manufacuture a collectible card game and sell the phylactery as one of 100,000 cards via random booster box. Make is a chase rare and you are good.
well, at least someone gets the card then

>>53342303
>if they manage to notice the evil/magic of your phylactery is still around he just says the room is tainted with it after so long blah blah- they won't look into it

Boy these are some really trusting adventurers.

>>53342137
Oh my god, thats like harry potter on fucking acid.

>so anyway now the kid is some fucking phallacttery or whorecrux or whatever. Point is, his junk is invulnerable. ALSO i jold his phallactery, and have hidden it well. So find it to destroy him, to destroy me, before i destroy you. Good luck.

>>53344258
Not if he is also a lich, and he has his phallactery next to yours. Your eternal bones touching

>>53343228
Don't you have to sacrifice the thing you love most?

>>53344451
"Power" is kinda a vague sacrifice to make.

>>53344450
what if the party finds that out too?
also...
>Your eternal bones touching
gay!!!!

>>53344258
The guy is the lich.

The mortar in the walls of the local king's castle

A random pebble which I throw into the ocean

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Don't tell your players he is a lich. Tell them of a powerful undead guy who is immortal, but the Sword of Holy Fire, a sword wielded by the undead guy, until it was taken from him & purified by a saint is his only weakness. For hundreds of years ago it was used to destroy his physical body. Now the undead guy is back & new heroes must find the Sword.

They will think that they need to kill him with the Sword. They will go to great lengths to find & procure the Sword. They will not think to destroy the only weapon they think can kill him. Because the weapon is the phylactory, crafted by the lich to be the most devious way to make sure he can always come back. As long as the heroes believe in the Sword they will not chance destroying it

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>>53343990

Crown of the mightiest Empire throughout all the lands. The crown is linked to the life of whoever has assumed its mantle, and so destroying it will kill the Emperor/Caesar of the Empire and throw the world into a thousand years of darkness.

A portrait.

dig a hole on the moon 50 ft deep, 10 ft force cage at the bottom with your phylactery inside it and a wierdstone. you can teleport out but can't teleport in. Impossible to scry for.

Inside a leadlined cookie jar (in a false bottom).

Inside a mimic

top of the highest mountain.

floating above an active volcano (surrounded by anti-magic fields that don't touch the hovering phylactery)

gift it to tucker's kobalds

Have a statue in the likeness of some local hero and donate it to a out of the way villiage with a memorial plaque on the base, the plaque is a secret door to a leadline chest with a map in it leading it to some big badass monster/dragon/demon/w.e. your phylactery is under the statue.

in a maze filled with duplicates that look like something that would be a phylactery. Your real phylactery is hidden inside a wall torch.

>all those faggots talking about mundane items
Phylactery needs to be an item of a great value so it can't be an ordinary rock.

>>53341794
tie it to a balloon and let it out the window.

Through the power of magic'n'shit you use a song as an earworm phylactery. Then hire a few bards

>>53345407
Where does it say that?

>>53345407
Have it in a mine full of gold, diamond and platinum, and have the Phylactery be some mundane looking but expensive shit like uranium or meteorite based iron.
Bonus points if its radioactive so you can become NUCLEAR LICH, SPOOKER OF WORLDS

>>53345407
I reckon it can be an item of great personal significance too. So if you can justify that random rock in your backstory then good on you.

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>>53345407
It can be a rock if you make it valuable.

>>53344874
>your lich body reforms around the sword
they'll figure it out eventually

>>53341794
In orbit
Whenever you die you can drop down to anywhere on the planet in a dramatic fashion

Just hide it in a room in a castle that's hidden. Make it a brick, and have it lie with other bricks.

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>>53343308
>coming back to your own shit tier plane when you can travel across planes with ease
Do you even high level lich?

>>53343308
It's my demiplane, I'm basically a god there. I can just will the dungeon into existence. That's how they work. I'll have it set to run time faster than the material plane until I'm finished making sure every detail is perfect, then I rest up a bit and set the time to go slow relative to the material plane the moment before I planeshift. Then I arrive back mere minutes after I left, even though I spent months building and testing that dungeon.

Obtain suitably valuable gem, encase in ball of rock, then ward it to fuck against everything, shrink it down to a tiny speck and let it drift about as dust. Sure, you'll rez in random places, but nobody is going to use that against you either. Bonus points for enchanting the rock shell to mask the energy signature.

Could also scatter a few unholy ground zones around randomly just to fuck with people, although that's just a fun trick anyway. Leave a couple expendable guards on some ruins or something made unholy, watch them try to figure out what the fuck you were trying to do.

>>53341794

Put it in a special demiplane: hunger, thirst and aging are disabled. Anyone who enters becomes 5 years old.
Dragon hatchlings can be deadly. Adventurer hatchlings, not so much.

>>53345734
Weapons like that are always put in some kind of antichamber/temple that is far from people

I've considered the possibility of turning a liquid, specifically a bottle of ink, into a Phylactery and writing tomes using it, then spreading them in libraries all over the world.

Would you let something like that slide and would it even be a possible loophole in how Phylacteries work?

Gift it to an Ancient dragon. Same way all my holdings are secured.

>>53341820
It's one of the jewels on the king or queen's cockring.

Throw it into a lava flow.

Buy a dog to protect it. Not a big scary dog like a Rottweiler or a pit bull, but a big dopey old retriever that's friendly to everyone. Then make sure your phylactety is his favorite toy

>>53344451
>two liches named Romeo and Juliet

>>53341794
2 feet under ground under a shit bucket.

Capture the party of adventurers and make every single one of them a phylactery.

Though I imagine most groups wouldn't hesitate to murder each other if they thought one was a phylactery.

Or even worse, make one of them a phylactery, but don't tell them which one.
Let them kill each other to death.

>>53346875
>We have located Malazar's phylactery! Now we can put an end to his wretched schemes!
>I dunno man, it's covered in doody
>NOO, you win this round Malazar. I swear on my brother's grave that I will stop you! You can't keep your phylactery covered in feces forever! You'll slip up, and I'll be there when you do
>paladin proceeds to hide in outhouses across the land waiting for a lich to shit on him

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>>53346583
>the queen's cockring

>>53345046
>your phylactery is under the statue

Heh. Nice.

>>53346950

Mind breaking adventurers so they tear each other apart, then harvesting their corpses to refill your dungeon with the monsters they probably killed along the way

This is my magical realm anon, thanks

>>53341810
>doesnt turn the assholes of defeated enemies inside out
Cmon man, thats basic adventurer shit. Everyone knows thats where the best loot is hiddwn

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>>53343191
>accelerates close to the speed of light

Have fun with your time dilation.

On another note, if it gets going fast enough, could it break the portals?

>>53341794
Just get one of those magic bags that automatically produces any object stored in it, but only if the owner knows it's there. Cast a permanent non-detection on the phylactery so no magic can sense or detect it. Then store it in the bag, and secretly slip the bag into a dragon's treasure hoard. The dragon will protect it until something strong enough to kill the dragon does so, and takes it as loot. From there it will pass through a succession of adventurers, always on the move, always carried by some poor fool who doesn't know the secret he's got strung on his belt. And since adventurers are always killing stuff, if your body is ever destroyed you'll have your pick of choice corpses to possess from your hiding place in the bag.

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>>53346583
I thought it said, "queen's cooking," which made no sense. Then I reread it, and it still makes no sense.

>>53341794
One of the gold coins in the chest you get from the loot table is the phylactery.

>>53343021
Don't look at me. Conjuror. I bonded my soul to all six Elemental Planes simultaneously, becoming a completely balanced composite elemental being. Like those super-weak genies made of all four elements, but without the weakness. To slay me, one would have to snuff out all the elemental planes, and with them, the multiverse.

make a phylactery out of a common brick

use the brick in the construction of a large temple of the gods

see if anyone is willing to smash down a temple to kill you

>>53347499
Renovations are a thing once every century or so.

>>53341794
Don't

The ocean is your phylactery now.

>>53347514
then they'll either re-use your brick, or use it somewhere else

>>53347499
>see if anyone is willing to smash down a temple to kill you

Why does everyone fail to remember that your phylactery isn't some fucking get out of jail free card

You have to slowly regenerate literally over the course of days, and are pretty much completely defenseless during this time. If your phylactery was in an extremely large church all it would take is a single person to discover you and you'd be fucked.

>>53347499
does everyone conveniently forget that phylacteries radiate absurd evil or do we just pretend that's not part of their lore so we can come up with the same cheeky bullshit every thread?

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>>53347630
People just like going 'LEL DO SOMETHING TOTALLY MUNDANE WITH IT DEY WILL NEVER KNO' or 'LEL YOU CAN'T STOP ME I AM DA ULTIMATE EVIL SUPER BAD BIG BAD LICH DUDE AND THERE'S NO WAY ANYONE CAN DEFEAT ME BECAUSE I CAN DO ANYTHING I WANT THIS IS A POWER FANTASY FOR ME XDDD'

>>53347630
What's wrong with an absurdly evil ocean?
One the heroes reshape the world by moving landmasses to destroy


Well, other than ebing completely inappropriate for a level, say 15 party to tackle (in 3.5)

>>53347514
Bricks are valuable. Even nowadays, every time an old factory is knocked down, the bricks are all gathered up and sold off to construction companies.

>>53347744
And what happens when one of these bricks is radiating pure evil and a skeleton is growing around it?

>>53347753
Many of the bricks are saturated in really nasty industrial liquids and might be partially made of skeletons depending on how stereotypical the mob was being at the time of their original manufacture.

I actually really like the idea of a super evil ocean. The lich's castle is on a foreboding rocky island on the ocean that seems to ocilate between disgusting greens and ugly blacks. Malicious creatures of all sorts lurk beneath the waves, and piracy seems unusually common. The fishing villages on the coasts are peoples with shifty, suspicious folk, their inner selves being warped because of consumption of food from the evil ocean.

This is actually a cool idea for a campaign setting.

>>53347775
Except this one would be identficably evil and unusual. It would be incredibly clear it's a phylactery.

>>53347780
should make the lich a pirate captain and his phylactery the boat's figurehead

>>53342041
Yo this is not a bad idea, but instead it should be something along the lines of an asteroid stuck in the orbit of the planet or somewhere that you could potentially survive or even have a base in, wanna get home? easy peasy, just kill yourself

>>53347820
Eh I prefer the lich to be like the shadowy evil behind the place being super fucked.

Now, obviously the lich couldn't make his phylactery the ocean, but his phylactery is stored at its bottom and it's evil just radiates out over the centuries eventually infecting the whole ocean. Depending on what game you're playing, underwater travel could be difficult to impossible. When powerful enough adventurers slay the lich, he reforms at the bottom of the ocean and since he's undead it doesn't matter. Might make it to where he's a cyclical enemy reforming every 100 years or so. Nice set up to a campaign

>>53347780
Since an ocean might be too unfair

alternative version

A lake in the caldera of an extinct volcano with the Lich's tower in the centre

When the lich is defeated, the heroes have a lake to evaporate by reactivating the volcano, or drain by flooding the surrounding area

>>53342925
Omg, my sides are in orbit

>>53347908
I address that above. Yours is a really cool idea though. Have villages built on the shores of the lake and make it a profound moral choice. Basically kill everyone in the caldera or find alternative means to bind the lich

>>53347959
You need to go back

>>53347863
>>53342041
>>53342536


>immortal star lich with a fucking moon base

Fucking fund it. In fact i'm almost certain the aztecs or mayans have a myth about fucking star skeletons from outerspace you could look into for more inspiration. Because it's on the fucking moon you need heavy magic or a spelljammer to get to it, and because it's on the moon there's no fucking atmosphere which is an obvious problem for anything not undead

Then your lich can become a literal James Bond villain with some kind of magical super weapon aimed at the world, which they can fire at the next full solar eclipse.

Never tell PC's this won't happen for another century

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>>53347895

As a simple unassuming coin. Merely go out and spend it, and watch as it disappears into obscurity. Destroy my phylactery? good luck, I don't even know where it is.

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>>53348091
>Coin radiates evil and a skeleton starts growing out of some dudes con purse

>>53347908
can't they just reactivate the volcano first, incinerating the lich and phylactery at the same time?

>>53348405
Who do you think quieted down the volcano for a bitchin' new mountain-lake home in the first place?

You must destroy the throne room!

Or open a semi-permanent portal to the elemental plane of fire over the lake and evaporate it (evil rain? who knows!)

>>53348501
>You must destroy the throne room!

As it's the magic item keeping the place dormant
Forgot that bit

>>53348091
>>53348156

Put it in a bank.
It's with hundreds of thousands of others.

Better yet make it a bank for criminal enterprises.
If the party try find it, the entire place radiates evil, there's hundreds of thousands of coins to choose from and in assaulting it they're just angered every mob boss, master thief, assassin, bounty hunter, corrupt lord and petty criminal of every stripe right across the country.

>>53347895
Just keep the phylactery inside of a massive pyramid at the bottom of the ocean/ lake. You could have a horde of well trained zombies (is this even possible? Hell if I know) build it on the coast, then have them carry it to the bottom. They will then enter the pyramid and wait for centuries for some adventurer to try and loot it as it sinks further and further into the ocean floor.

>>53341794
>Artifact that requires will checks to destroy.
>A bone in your body with spells to hide that its magic.
>Spread evenly throughout the souls of a thousand orphans, and further divided amongst their descendents.

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You have to make it one of the potion seller's strongest potions. He will not sell his strongest potions since they would kill a mortal man.

I read a Madoka doujin one time where two of the characters took theirs and put them inside each other's wombs, so they could feel the presence of their lover's very soul at the core of their beings and as the ultimate expression of trust.

That's unconventional, right?

Embed it in the body of your most trusted confidant.

Not the most practical, but is thematically interesting in put in, say, a romantic partner.

make your Phylactery, then make an Iron Golem, put the Phylactery into said Iron Golem & order it to go be a Statue in some random Capital City

>>53349151
>>53349172

I'd say hivemind if there wasn't a 2 minute gap

>>53349172
>>53349151

You do realize that liches are kinda bony and uninterested in romance, right?
Probably as a result of whatever vile art goes into phylactery making (I always enjoyed the "rip your own soul in half" explanation as that goes well with 'always evil')

>>53349172
>Lich gifts his phylactery as a wedding ring to his lover
>Before the showdown the fighter pulls something out of his pocket
>"this ring? I got it from the local pawn shop.:
>Lich kills himself out of shame and sadness
>Fighter dumped all points in bluff

>>53341794
I prefer the way Might and Magic did it. But I figure that over time people would come up with ever more inventive, cunning, and retarded ways of hiding their Soul Jars.

One guy dropped his at the bottom of the ocean, tied to a rock and a corpse. Normally liches have to keep the Jar on their person, or nearby, but this guy invented a sort of relay system that means he can move wherever he wants and metaphysically be only 5 meters or so from his Soul Jar. Really confounds the paladins, especially since they don't have any way of getting to it easily even if they knew where it was.

Another lich, using the same relay system, buried hers under the Not!Pope's palace. Then she collected the viscera from a peasant, made a fake, and hid that underneath the local in, surrounded by traps. Then she made a /third one/, and put that in a place of honor behind a secret door, also full of traps, and then trapped both fakes to destroy her once they're destroyed, so that it's impossible to know you've succeeded until she bursts out of the Pope's loo fully reborn.

>>53348789
>>53348817

Didn't work for Voldemort, sadly.

Try keeping it on an unassuming familiar, then reinforce the familiar with magic and keep it near you. It will always be under your care and supervision unlike something sealed away in an ancient cave, but will be able to slither away if you "die" and give birth to your new husk like keeping it in your body can't. In the mean time, you also probably get a boost to your connection with your familiar, and btw familiars are awesome in principal.

>>53349371
1) When the heroes kill you, they'll kill your pet too. If they've overcome the magic you use to defend yourself, they'll overcome the magic you cast on your familiar.

2) Keeping your phylactery near you is like climbing down a cliff with a rope. Except you tied one end of the rope to your waist and the other to your neck instead of anywhere else

>>53349223
Why be so narrow in your idea of liches?

>>53349612
Have other depictions of them?
Harry Potter notwithstanding

Probably the same reason my idea of beholders is "floating eye-laser monster"

>>53349755
Beholders are pretty much a straight D&Dism. Liches are based on a mythological figure (Koschei), although they're relatively faithful to the source, other than that Koschei still appears to be a living person and the word phylactery is never used.

His soul is hidden separate from his body inside a needle, which is in an egg, which is in a duck, which is in a hare, which is in a chest, which is buried under a green oak tree, which is on the island of Buyan in the ocean. As long as his soul is safe, he cannot die. If the chest is dug up and opened, the hare will bolt away; if it is killed, the duck will emerge and try to fly off. Anyone possessing the egg has Koschei in their power. He begins to weaken, becomes sick, and immediately loses the use of his magic. If the egg is tossed about, he likewise is flung around against his will. If the needle is broken, Koschei will die.

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>>53349755

Liches reporting.

>>53349834
I know that, but liches as skeleton-mages are even more prevalent than pig-orcs (though I think that one's mostly Japan at this point what with WoW going for green noble savages, though still with boar tusks)

>>53349844
I didn't watch that series. Weren't they witches who hunted monsters and eventually turned into monsters?

>>53349912
Basically yes, but their souls were stored in gems. They are granted superpowers in exchange for handing over their soul. After a while they turn evil unless they kill other evil things and consume the soul gem of the evil thing. The other caveat is that they had to stay near the gems or their bodies would die, so they're not true liches in the standard western sense.

>>53341794
Invent guns, and make an enchantment of indestructibility part of the design. Sell the design to every kingdom you can.

Once guns are widespread, make your phylactery an average gun, and leave it lying around on some battlefield.

>>53342137
>>53342229
>>53344417

A council of liches who are each other's phylacteries. Bonus points if they're like >>53348045 and have a star base with maybe a giant fucking magnifying glass that they use to blow up villages like ant hills for shits and giggles

>>53342089
I put the phylactery inside an orc baby what do you do?

>>53342333
I'll smash it with a hammer!

I respect the fuck out of you for thinking the exact same thought I did when reading that post.

>>53342249
>mfw your party is made up of an NE half-elf necromancer on her way to being a lich, an NE, sadistic ex-mafia halfling rogue, a CG halfling currently banging a short, LG human paladin, and a CN kitsune ninja

We fight. A lot.

I make 7 phylacteries to ensure that no one can destroy them all.

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99% of anons can't conceive of how to kill Aumvor so his strategy seems most victorious.

>>53351172
I'm curious as to how this "Fragmented Phylactery" spell works. I can't find anything that specifically notes how it works.

>ITT: Non-Demilich plebs

>>53351667
That's because he made it himself. From the book:

>This spell can only be cast by a lich. It either separates the lich's phylactery into multiple objects or expands the phylactery to include multiple objects, as determined by the spellcaster. The number of such objects can be no greater than the caster's modifier for his or her spellcasting ability. Thereafter, destroyign the lich's phylactery requires the destruction of the whole set of objects that comprise the phylactery. As long as at least one such object of the set exists, the caster cannot be permanently killed.
>This spell can be cast repeatedly on a phylactery or part thereof. Each time it is cast, the number of objects that comprise the lich's phylactery can be increased by an amount equal to the caster's modifier for his or her spellcasting ability.

>>53351172
>cloaked against divination and detection for magic
Now that's fucking cheating

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>>53352075
>obtain the ability to cast this spell
>obtain a vast amount of magical resources and an army of magical engineers to work with them through your scheming, lich-y ways
>have them construct these guys
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pJWL3UPfVmE
>cast the Fragmented Phylactery to encompass the entire army

It's certainly not foolproof, but fuck if it wouldn't be cool

>>53346529
How would reforming work, would the Lich randomly reform at one or reform in chunks at each phylacteries

>>53352195
>obtain a vast amount of magical resources
>army of magical engineers
Yeah, "obtaining" these things will surely not bring magic SWAT teams like Harpers on your ass.

>>53352251
But that's only half of the fun.

>>53352251
What are Harpers?

>>53352251

Or a MASSIVE pile of Marut come to fuck your boney arse inside out.

>>53352314
Secret cult of goodie-two-shoes secret agents.

>>53352146
How is taking the sensible action cheating?

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>>53350925
Problem: in order to become a lich you must become undead.
since you technically die, would that count as destroying the pylactery?

>>53343423
the nail is a stupid idea.
town taverns have a tendency to catch on fire in the presence of PCs.
just imagine their faces when they come to kill a lich, "accidentially" burn down another tavern and then spend month looking for that lich, with no idea what happened to him.

>>53352251
It didn't bring them against author's favourite PC-killing mary sue lich so why would it be any different now?

Unless you think with the "All NPCs are on one single team united against all PCs" train of logic.

>>53352473
>multiple, simultaneous, and devastating lich ascensions

Is there a limit to the size of the phylactery? Usually you'd imagine something fitting the palm of your hand, but can it be bigger? Like, the size of a small moon big?

Phylacteries that don't ignore the "nexus of evil" stuff.

>Sarcophagus at the bottom of the ocean, magically armoured and warded. Anyone hunting it has to break into a giant underwater temple guarded by undead blue dragons and a kraken.

>A fortress wrapped in dimensional portals. Stepping off the path in the maze of portals warps you away to one of the outer planes. Breaching the seal on the fortress from the outside casts massive AOE waves of necrotic energy in all directions. Smaller forts are built on each plane the portals connect to.

>You transmogrify yourself into a Giant or similar creature. Your phylactery is implanted in the chest of a powerful bound creature you keep folded up in your chest cavity. If you are killed, the creature breaks its bindings to kill your killers... but cannot remove the phylactery without tearing open its own chest. You reform inside it and tear it apart from the inside, killing it.

>Your phylactery is an incredibly powerful weapon you carry and use. Destroying it requires exceptionally powerful magic. Even if you are defeated, most average adventurers won't destroy the item and will use it instead (periodically crushing your newly-formed body) until they eventually die in a tomb somewhere and drop the weapon.

>>53353106
>your phylactery is your giant evil doom fortress. Enemies must destroy a majority of it to kill you, and it's practically made of adamantium.

>your phylactery is surgically implanted inside the Tarrasque. Anything that tries to destroy the phylactery OR the Tarrasque you have to deal with both you and it.

>>53353039
I mean, why not make your phylactery out of a moon sized mass of pure carbon - it forms a crystal lattice so it still counts as a single object - and then you can live on it and travel in style across the planes. Put some bling bling in your undead existence and dazzle the do-gooders!

Keep a fake phylactery in a locked chest underneath your bed

the real phylactery is the key to the chest

>>53353106
>Giant
If PCs killed a fucking lich then a Giant won't be a problem.

>>53344451
Well, if you did it simultaneously, you could have both technically do just that.

>>53353341
The lich IS a giant, and something like another subservient lich is folded up in the Giant Lich's ribcage.

>>53343990
on a faraway island, and have some mutated wyvern guard it

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>>53350987

>>53350925
>a council of liches who are eachothers phylacteries
Then all you need to do is kill one's body and then the whole lot die.

>>53343532

Once you've got the general neighborhood you can just spend a couple of weeks expending all your daily spells pulverizing the entire area with Meteor Swarms. You'll get it eventually.

>>53352075
>>53352146
I cast 'Wish'

GG

>>53352492
Why do people keep acting like the phylactery being destroyed instantly kills the Lich? It just makes him vulnerable to being killed normally. You still have to actually kill the Lich.

the moon

>>53353827
me and everyone I've played with always fluffed it this way because it's really anticlimactic if it's not

>>53342925
they take it to sell it since it's gold

>>53342925
>they take it to use it
>when using it the lich start reformoing
>you realize you're playing FATAL

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>>53350106
why not bury it with some random soldier corpse instead? it would be safer and better hidden that way.
>Oy average hero, want to know where my phylactery is?
>Well let me give you a hint, i buried it with one of the millons of men that died in the course of the 200 years of war that have taken place
>Have fun digging faggot
>Actually bluff and bury the corpse in the middle of a forest which then became a swamp
>When petty humies try to find your phylactery

Would there be a way to contain a phylactery in some kind of causality loop, where attempting to destroy it in the future just leads to its creation in the past or something?

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>>53354413

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Hide it in an egg, which is in a duck, which is in a hare, which is in an iron chest, which is buried under a green oak tree, which is on the island of Buyan in the ocean.

>>53354683
How the hell would you hide it in egg? The phylactery would need to be the size of a needle.

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>>53354695

>>53351172
>scry using varius terms related to but not exlusive to his phylactery
>each time note the blanks you get and where they are
>doing so get an idea witch of the thousands upon thousands of blanks are most likely related to him
>go out and collect these
>since you can't directly find/monitors these with magic neighter can he
>then in once final ceremony destroy all of them
>this will trigger him pretty hard if you didn't get them all so be ready to book it out of there
>once you did that make sure to monitor him and his know agents as he will probably try to secure at least some of this remaining phylacteries
>rinse repeat

>>53342137
>Good luck, I'm behind 7000 proxies

>>53343990
Remember to bury the chest under the roots of the oldest tree in the forest.

>Make a giant secret chamber/labyrinth several square miles big, deep underground.
>It's filled with nothing but millions of exact replicas of your phylactery (even enchanted to radiate evil).
>If they find the place it's gonna take them ages to destroy every single one of the fakes.

How viable is this?

>>53355570
>they bring a sphere of annihilation

>>53341794
the moon is the phylactery.

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>>53344451
>>53346870
I think The Adventure Zone did that

>>53342041

Why does a wizard who's spent his existence studying magic know about orbital mechanics?

>>53342137
>>53341904
>>53341852
>>53350925
>>53342178
>>53343423
>>53343860
>>53344835
>>53346950


>DMs that let phylacteries be anything!!!

If your DM is this retarded, just make your phylactery the planet.

>>53346583
>>53348091
>>53342345
>>53341820


>Idiots that don't know you regenerate helpless at your phylactery, making their idea pointless


Bonus retard points to >>53342178 and >>53341820 for having both the "dude phylactery is ANYTHING lmao" and 'you die for good the moment you start regenerating at it' in one choice.


>>53342314

That's the only cool idea in the whole thread.

>>53355627
>make the phylactery a sphere of annihilation

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>>53355845

>>53354635
Man fuck this guy. He never got the legendary beatdown he deserved, and was never actually defeated.

>>53352361
>Phylacteries have to be expensive/important items
>They radiate evil
>Completely remove drawback and drastically/extremely reduce the possibility of finding the pieces
>Somehow this is not cheating

Surely it's gotta feel cheap to you, too? Phylacteries radiating incredibly strong evil is a huge drawback and rightfully so.

>>53342805
Until literal autists flock to the game and upon losing to the phylactery copy of the card, they rip it to shreds, killing you in the process.

>>53344970
Underrated post.

>>53353166
>Surgically implanting anything into Tarrasque
>Implying if you're this mighty you even have to hide your phylactery at all

hey doods, what about making it a keepsake and burying it in a mausoleum or some shit, or perhaps in a graveyard far away from civilization?
Once it radiates evil you can make up a legend of a mad king or some shit and that his soul is restless.
Or ya know you could also potentially just bury it inside an adamantium safe in a cursed forest or some shit

>>53355845
>Why does a wizard who's spent his existence studying magic know about orbital mechanics?
because he's studying magic ?
what a stupid sentence

>>53344970
remind me of Joseph Curwen

>>53342328
this sounds like the Dead in Thay adventure.

>>53341794
instead of hidding the plylacter, what if you hide the lich ?
like, the lich is a squeleton, he can do the same thing as Hannibal and just go lost himself in his army of squeletons

Hide it inside an instruction manual

>>53356877
>party exploring lich dungeon
>identical skelebones everywhere
>meet friendly skelebone
>skelly is lich
>helps party through dungeon and makes puns along the way
>when they get to the end express confusion and tells party that lich must be somewhere else

>>53341810
Not hidden in the anus, it simply IS the anus
Jokes abound about destroying dat ass

Make it a balloon, enchant the balloon so it won't explode, then let it go

If you implant it into a child, wouldn't the massive amount of evil energy radiating from it either turn the child evil so that it will just be targeted by a righteous group of adventurers when it grows up, or get it killed by some paladin, or kill the child (like a particle in your body emitting alpha radiation).

Just create an incredibly strong construct, implant the phylactery and cast imprisonment on the construct.
If possible, cast imprisonment somewhere in the sky above an ocean to make it a real bitch to find.

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>>53341794
There are worse things.
Like Liches that are completely naked.

Like, how in the fuck, apart from the the fucking eyes, can you tell a Lich is a Lich?

Crowns and mage attire.

Remove that, and you can blend in with a pure skeleton army, and it's even worse because the Lich can see through the eyes of every undead it controls, so it's impossible to know where the Lich is.

I bet none of you losers thought about housing a Demilich hiding in plain sight as an exhibit in a Museum that turns into an undead workshop after hours, thieves immediately get added to new attractions or that bone Charnel house most Museums have for found bone specimens never-mind the ancient aretefacts that many do not realize the power of falling into one's grasp! And one can bring the entire museum alive to attack intruders!

Even worse Liches to Fight? A lich Rogue that uses the Naked Lich thing, Nothing spells a good TPK than a fucking Lich posing as a regular skeleton that sunndenly activates a fear aura, and a number of dispelling agents and a sneak attack in one turn?

Want to fuck the Paladin? Now you can! with a horrible Ex-pedophile fallen cleric turned into a Lich with a Morhg graft full of bog-rot, that literally sodomizes paralyzed Paladins, with a constant Grease spell on it's person acting as a rotted lube and makes it this nightmarish slovenly Tar Monster rapist!
HERE'S HOW IT SOUNDS EVEN! VICTIMS TURN INTO HORRIBLE BLOATED BOG MONSTERS WITH PROLAPSED HALF-EATEN ANUSES HANGING OUT THAT SPEW BILE, COAGULATED BLOOD AND BALCK ICHOR!
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1zWuoKCXZqf

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>>53357859
Also, it is stated that a Demilich can be any centralized Bone part Encrusted with Soul Gems? So, why not a Pelvis with a Magical Dream Catcher lodged inside of it? BEHOLD! PELVOR THE UNLVING MASTER OF DARKNED WET DREAMS!

>>53341904
>>53341810
An otherwise ordinary butt plug in a huge pile of butt plugs

>>53355845

>my idea is the only good one in the thread the rest are stupid

Yours is stupid too. How would you get out of a safe from the INSIDE, much less a magical safe that requires a GOOD ACT to open.

Or did you let things teleport into or out of the safe, thereby making it about as secure as a peasant house against your powerful foes.

Fucking retard.

>>53342334
>that can only be opened by a Neutral act?
Like what, knocking on the door?

>>53343171
>constant acceleration of gravity the phylactory approaches the speed of light
Is terminal velocity not a thing within a vacuum?

>>53343489
Requiring a will check for your character to act in his own best interests is bullshit, and an example of a GM that needs to be beaten with a sack full of geese.

>>53354695
A phylactery the size of a needle, you say? I hide it in a haystack.

>>53346760
>need a new dog every seven to ten years

or

>make the dog a lich
>make his phylactery the favorite toy of a very cute cat
>etc

>>53358937
and then make the cat a lich and hide his phylactery inside the inmortal dragon that lives in the mountain that may or may not actually exist

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>>53349755
>Have other depictions of them?
Here's a Lich. She's a shopkeeper and a mostly retired adventurer.

There's another lich in the series who's a bit more of a typical rotting undead guy in the deepest pits of a dungeon, but he's also a pretty cool guy.

He turned himself into a lich to escape from a kingdom while he was eloping with their princess. They lived a full, happy life, and she died of old age.

He was going to just sit there in the secret part of the dungeon until he rotted away, but then a sufficiently powerful arch-priest wanders in, and he politely asks to be purified so that he can pass on and go see his wife again.

He even mentions that he's got a bit of treasure in the corner of the room over there that they're welcome to after he's been purified.

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>>53363723

>>53341794
Put it in a flash drive, copy it onto more flash drives, and spread the copies.

>>53363757
Konosuba

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>>53363757
Konosuba.

It's kind of like a D&D campaign with a group of idiots playing high level characters, and the only character with half a clue is stuck as a low-level class.

The healer picked all the party-trick skills before getting the useful healing magic, and all the other partymembers like the mage and tank, are morons in one respect or another.

They're mostly based in a town knows as being a town for new adventurers, so all the easy to kill enemies are nearly extinct in the ecosystem. The easiest to kill thing around that there are regular bounty requests for are giant frogs. They end up getting eaten by them kind of regularly.

Highly recommended series. Two seasons out right now, and it's based on a light novel series of some kind.

>>53358376
It isnt. Terminal velocity is when air resistance keeps a falling object from accelerating any further under the effect of gravity.

No air, no terminal velocity.

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> Using divination, determine which adventuring party is most likely to be a threat
> Capture them when they're sleeping
> When they awaken, tell them that you're preparing to cast a ritual that will destroy their hometown in one hour
> But you're sporting, and will give them a fighting chance to stop you
> Inside one of their eye sockets, behind the eyeball, you've put your phylactery
> If they successfully find out who it is and cut it out, they can destroy you for good with the hammer next to them
> Tick tock, heroes. Tick tock.
> If they destroy the marble-sized sphere they find behind one of their eyeballs, you explode into flame and disappear
> If they refuse or fail to figure out who it is, you cast meteor swarm on their village and film their reactions
> Repeat as needed

> The hammer is the phylactery.
> You're just a dick who likes puzzles.

Any tips for a lich who is currently forced to jump between planes and isn't able to cast planar travel?(currently the setting I'm playing in has the spell removed as it's above most mortals and even Demi gods, but that said the party has found a way, see: the brazen egg)

>>53358376
>>53364270
That said, you still wouldn't accelerate infinitely. The rod would eventually find equilibrium at the center if the gravitational field, or otherwise just bounce back and forth between it's two high points.

You only have so much kenetic energy as you have potential energy when dealing with gravity. The rod will accelerate to a maximum speed near the center of the planet and then begin to bleed speed off as it passes the center and is pulled backward again.

Just make it a really really cool magic sword that does tons of bonus damage and doesn't have any sort inconvenient drawback or secret method of fucking the user over. Then give it to the PCs.

It will be safe forever.

>>53348789
That thread was done. First bank of lichdom, rotating guarding liches and pooled defences.
Then you need to find the right one before all the liches apply boot

>>53353106
Stealing the weapon idea for the next campaign I run.

Huge adamantium rock with your phylactery in a hole in the center.
Make the hole big enough for you and your phylactery and a backup spell book. Drop the rock in the elemental plane of water.
If you can split your phylactery make tons of these, and drop them in each of the elemental planes but the positive energy one.

If stronger materials exist make it out of those instead.

Try to make yourself as strong as possible and befriend as many gods/elder evils as possible. As they can probably cream most adventurers. Evening glory is my personal choice.

Also try not to make any enemies, and if you do make sure to utterly destroy everything

>>5334179
Put the phylactery into candy then give it to a baby, sure it would be easy to take but what kind of self-respecting hero could take it

>>53353674
Is there another lich in its ribcage?

Is it just liches all the way down?

>>53341794
Put it in the pooper
Oh wait skelly have flesh
Shove it up your hip bone then

>>53341794
I turn it into a left sock

>>53341794
Is there any limit to the size of the phylactory? Could you make it an ocean or a lake? What about the whole world? What about the entire prime material plane?

>>53341794
Implanted into an unwitting player character

make the phylactory an iron golem

>>53365556
have it be a wooden dummy called Skello who does really bad puns.

>>53365592
i think you mean a bone dummy dummy

>>53341794
Have the litch create multiple phylacteries in the forms of beautifully exquisite jewelry fit for royalty. Then have him gift these priceless artifacts to the most powerful kings and queens across the land. By doing so, any quest to kill him would have to spend ages circling the globe to find them all while having each of them be protected by the best royal guards.

>>53341794
A single grain of sand. Leave it on the beach.

So... would phylactory smuggling be a thing? If somebody found out where you keep your sta-I mean, phylactory, could you say, hire someone to smuggle it through TSA?

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In the butt of a Tarasque

>>53365736
Psh casual, make that 1 quark floating alone in a space dust formation 10 light years away

>>53343308
> Being an evil, immortal wizard
> Giving a damn about the passage of time
Honestly, Anon, did you think aboit what you were typing while you were typing it?

>>53341809
Shit nigga your way too clever for me.
like for real

>>53341794
>Your phylactary is used to plug a blackhole.
>if removed the world will end immediatly, nothing can stop this.

>>53366106
Do you know what a black hole is anon?

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>>53341794
>I need some unconventional ways to hide a phylactery asap
Oh, I'VE got a fuckin way to hide it.

Have someone hire the heroes to go get it from a creepy crypt. And tell them to DEFINITELY NOT OPEN THE BOX. And then once they have it, just let it fucking sit there.

Because that's what MY players are doing with my macguffin. They're just. Fucking. Letting it sit there.

https://youtu.be/uCNQsmpN-G8?t=2m39s

>>53357708
How would that even work? Let's say the construct is big enough for you to form in, you'd just be in the imprisonment space, how would you get out? Can you even cast freedom while inside? Or since you're not the target of the spell, could you just teleport out?

Also, how does it work if you need to reform but your phylactery isn't in an open space (buried for example). Would the matter around it be destroyed or pushed away?

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>>53341794
Make it a small jewel and give it to a band of adventurers. Tell them they need to protect it at all costs, if anyone were to capture it, they could destroy your world. The fate of the universe rests in their hands.

>>53365034
Babies shouldn't be fed candy.

>>53365507

>Party kills lich
>Everything seems fine
>Later, at the tavern during a meal
>Party member starts coughing
>Re-enact the chestburster scene from Alien, but with a tiny skeleton

It's really quite sad that these threads are always filled with people that don't understand or don't care that a phylactery will always be identifiable because of the radiating evil. There are only like 8 posts in here that account for that.

>>53366426

>>53366150 here, my players clearly don't know that, they're refusing to open my box even though I told them it has no magic aura.

>>53366455
So you have a phylactery inside of a box enchanted to suppress the evil coming from the phylactery? Smells like bullshit that removes the only major drawback.

>>53366492
no, god fucking dammit.

Read my post. I'm not OP, I have a macguffin in a box.

The players are refusing to fucking open the box.

I suggested OP do exactly what I did with my macguffin because apparently that's the perfect way to make sure the party never touches it. Literally hand it to them.

>>53341794
>>53341809
>>53366080
Perhaps disguised as one of the crystals of a candelabra?

One of the minor threats in my campaign made the skeleton of their premature child her phylactery. It's in a small urn at first, but she eventually wears the skull as an ornament.

Here is an actual answer that doesn't involve me ignoring Phylactery rules.

Assuming:

- Phylactery needs to be something of great personal significance to me.

- They radiate an aura of intense evil

- It takes several days to reform

I take my first spellbook and make that my Phylactery. I then erase the spells and fill it with evil spells, as well as a spell to access my Mordekainen's Mansion, then just add bullshit rituals to supposedly summon demons and random gibberish. The tome radiates evil, so it seems like it is a book of actual dark knowledge. Pretend to be an adventure scholar who found it and gift it to some monks/priests at a major temple whose duty it is to preserve knowledge. Tell them it must be kept in absolute darkness and mustn't be opened more than once every year and for no more than a few hours. They lock my Phylactery in a vault where it is safely contained to protect both the world and the knowledge it supposedly contains. If I need it, I will be reform in a vault that is rarely visited, right next to a whole heap of real forbidden lore. I just hope into my Mordekainen's mansion where my teleportation gear is if I need, but will probably just steal all the evil items kept there and bust out.

For bonus points, make a wand I own a fake Phylactery and lock it away in some demiplane/dungeon like a scrub Lich so heroes waste their time destroying that.

>>53341794
Pay a human mule to hide it up their ass and smuggle it through customs to another country.

>>53353827
still, when they kill the lich after the unfortunate tavernfire they will spend a fuckton of effort to find a phylactery that does not exist anymore.
however you fluff it it stays the same.

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>>53354791
Is it... me you're looking for?

>>53348045
That lich came from the moon!

>>53366426
>>53350106
If you invent guns, and make enchantments part of the design so that your phylactery is indistinguishable from them and they're all indestructible, then it's going to be a bitch to track them all down and destroy them. Especially if you bury it in an old battlefield along with thousands of other guns.

>>53353744
Pretty sure having 95% of yourself missing is being dead, especially if you're inside an anti-magic circle so there's no magic keeping you alive

>>53354776
>scry using varius terms related to but not exlusive to his phylactery
Such as?

>>53342314
The evil safe is inside the good safe. They're welded together such that they can't be removed, and there's no clearance space inside that anyone could fit into. The evil safe automatically closes and locks when a good act is performed. The good safe automatically closes and locks when an evil act is performed.

The phylactery is inside a neutral safe in the very middle, which unlocks in the presence of neutral actions but APPEARS to be locked during the same.

>>53366910
yeah that's pretty much the Hive.

>immortal star liches
>robo-bug pirates
>space-rhino Space Marines
>existential Terminator

I got this one, and no need to hide it even. Just make it a football enchant it to go really motherfucking far, and carry it on your person. If you're about to be defeated, just hail mary

>>53366647
Why won't they open the box? Are they actually retarded?

>>53353336
ineffective against hoarders and people with ocd

>>53341794
>create multiple Phylacteries
>all of them have high melting and fusion point
>nonreactive and resistant
>blast them into space away from earth's orbit
gg

>>53341794
Grain of sand.

The tooth of a sewer rat.

>>53358606
Yea because things like mental enslavement, mental suggestion, etc dont exist in Dnd.

If you have to be some super special edgelord who cant ever lose and as such cant be objective enough to RP a little mind control. Youre doing it anyway until you can learn to actually RP.

>>53368299
>>53367763
more retards that don't understand the concept.
>hurf durf this grain of sand is very valuable to me!

>>53368221
How's you gonna get back on earth? Flapping your hands won't work, and casting Wish to teleport is dangerous
Also, no corpses to posess

>>53364664
Did you miss the "two Gate portals" part?

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A particular song, and the only way to destroy it is by performing it better than him. He's the only person who still knows the language it was written in.bonus points if he has a rock battle with the party
Are your players bad enough dudes to out-funk the funkmaster?

>>53342178
>a warforged that the lich can control

Even better, have one of the PCs play as the warforged. They travel together becoming stronger and forming bonds of friendship.
When they confront the Lich, he utters a secret command word which turns the warforged against its former allies.
If they defeat both, well shit. If not, then the cycle just repeats itself again.

>>53368625
>A particular song
you can't do this. in any game.

>>53341794
Make another extremely difficult to kill creature the phylactery.

>>53368707
You sound boring.

>>53368707
try and stop me

>>53368731
>haha guys wouldn't it just be so WACKY if we took the one drawback of becoming an immortal undead wizard and just threw it in the trash? that would make for such RANDOM roleplaying wouldn't it!? imagine if it was a song in a dead language and the only way to destroy it is by OBJECTIVELY performing it better than he does! that would be so COOL!
no fuck you. grow up.

>>53368763
You sound terribly boring.

No wonder none of your games ever go anywhe- oh you probably don't play do you.

>>53368775
not an argument. not even a little bit.

>>53368779
Got it in one. No game! He has no game to play, and none to run. And he's not interesting enough for either. All he can do is shit on fun ideas, because he has none of his own.

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>>53368793
>fun ideas

>>53368800
And he's down to greentexting with anime girl faces, meaning I'm right since he has no tales of games of his own, or ideas to present to counter me. I win. Thanks. Try to post something interesting next time.

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>>53368800
>if i take words and put them in greentext people will think i'm witty and i'll win this argument over people wanting to put a different kind of skeleton in their pasteboard storytelling simulators

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>>53368814
>present to counter me
there's nothing to counter. no system allows for what you suggested because it's moronic; shitposting with le r*ddit tier "you must be fun at parties xD" won't change that. learn to accept criticism.

>>53368836
And right on time here's the angry effort post, because you're really fucking sunk into this now with me under your skin, and you hate that I'm right.

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>>53368844
>effort post
2 sentences and a fragment is effort to you?

>>53368849
For you it is. Since you've never been able to coherently present your thoughts save in angry fragments and emoticons. Taking the victory so I can post about cool ass lich shit. Bye, kid.

>>53368836
>>53368849
Guy who actually posted it here, there are no less than two other people who've been disagreeing with you on this.
Here's your (you), my dude. I hope you have fun in your future games, and do some cool shit.
Now anyway, how does Lord Calcizar sound as a name for this grooviest of skeletons?

>>53368859
>never been able to coherently present your thoughts
i did though. here, i'll do it again:
your idea is stupid and every single RPG on the planet agrees with me.

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>>53368862
Decent name. Sounds pretty psuedo-rock starish for a Lich. Maybe append a few dozen musical lord titles and Satanic band imagery.

>>53368877
I need musical lord titles, stat!
it's also a bone pun :^)

>>53368894
Shit I dunno it's like 4am here. There's the solid old Ayatollah of Rock n' Rollah, Czar'cappella, Prince of Piacere, Cadenzan Crown, the Six String King, FröhLich, Neon Nightmare (I mean blacklights galore are pretty much requisite), hell there's a universe of awful music titles he could drive them crazy with

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>>53368953
i love all of these

>>53368953
Further idea - His phylactery is TECHNICALLY the song, but in practice it needs a physical copy of it to exist for him to reform at. So, if you destroyed the last physical copy and killed him, he wouldn't really be gone, but unless someone happened to rewrite it by chance or via some cultish shenanigans he may as well be truly dead.
>500 years after the players 'killed' him
>an up-and-coming experimental band is debuting their new hot single, written in collaboration with one of the most distinguished scholars on [DEAD LANGUAGE].
>While playing one of the greatest solos ever known to man, the guitarist's flesh starts to crack and crumble
>by the end of the solo, he is gone
>only calcizar remains

>>53369078
>but in practice it needs a physical copy of it to exist for him to reform at
>but unless someone happened to rewrite it by chance or via some cultish shenanigans he may as well be truly dead.
This works much better than the trite you were pushing earlier, and I like it now. Good job.

>>53369100
thanks anon

>>53369100
Yeah, you actually need some planning to pull this off when you die. You'd need to set a limit to how many copies you can make though. Otherwise you could just make a million phylacteries.