Galatic Federation

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Our apologies for missing the last session, or planet is in the midst of a struggle over a new tool known as "fidget spinners"

how did the meeting with the humans go?

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>>53335935
What is on today's agenda, Honourable Speaker?

>>53336001
Well the other session the Ascended of the Ogrum-Jett Empire is turing 99 cycles old, and the Guildmaster of the Ogrum-Jett asked us all to bring our finest cusiune to their Ascended as a gift, one wich we at least happily gave

>>53336067
Then it can only be hoped that the Ascended of the Ogrum-Jett enjoyed our gifts.
Has there been any news on the activities of the nearby fallen empire, the Sier-og Regulators?

By the way, for all newcommers. This a lighthearted roleplaying session, where we have fun coming up with new races, encounters and other things in the Federation. It is also highly encouraged to fluff out your species and give them their own history, culture, society, etc.

As an example, I have expanded upon my own speices here in this Google docs:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1m-RHzdWkfXWoGUFmOer_tSV7cy1ur1TTsu65Rm6doRY/edit?usp=sharing

>>53336147
I'm using a similar format, hope you don't mind
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1iVOLMmIWOOGAAEbb4oQrrDRNUnSdmmiWYxUms8-yLZs/edit?usp=sharing

Alright, that's quite enough.
Every world we've rightfully conquered has been getting far too uppity.
It's time to deploy the ADVANCED slavery.

On an unrelated note, we've found ourselves with a surplus of food stores, and invite our carnivorous allies to partake in the feasts.

>>53336147
Shouldn't you do this in the "quest" board to do roleplay sessions ?

>>53336559
Just let it be, it's not hurting anyone

>>53336559
Its more of a worldbuilding here

>>53335935
Screeeech fizzzzzzzz screech brrrrrrrrr uuuuuuuuuuuu fiz fiz fiz fiz come screeeeech die

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Oh nooo! Mesa late.Yousa dont be mad, okeeday?

>>53336468

I've had an interesting problem with my grand and Autocratic dominion. Nobody seemed to mind when our Cast System enslaved farmers and industrial workers, other then those farmers and miners but frankly we all agreed to ignore their opinions.

Yet my alien loving population, a small but amusing minority of xenophiles, got upset when our empire was joined by charismatic new space friends that were integrated into the existing cast system!

Given the complexity needed to exempt them and the way the sad xenophiles were being annoying I came up with I think a perfect solution..

No space-foxes get to be farmers or miners. Putting them into research campuses and tour guides at the Unity Monument . Xenophiles are happy because we no longer have any alien slaves.

>>53337920
An ingenious solution!

I must ask though, are your slaves treated well? And did you think about reeducating the xenophiles?

>>53338060
>are your slaves treated well?
I don't understand the question

>>53338384
Are you ensuring that they live and work in safe conditions?

>>53338401
>Are you ensuring that they live and work in safe conditions?

They're... slaves?

>>53338411
But are they treated well?
The Carnifelin Confederacy may have to get involved if they are mistreated and abused.
Wether they are slaves or not is irrelevant, what matters if they are fed and housed.

>>53338429
There must be something wrong with our translators, you keep talking but none of what your say makes any sense

How would you even 'mistreat' a slave

>>53338616
I ensure our translators are walking perfectly, but I shall word my questions differently regardless.
I ask if your slaves have suitable living standards? If they are fed? If they have a roof and four walls to sleep under?

>>53338658
Possibly, why is that relevant?

If you would like to make a google docs for your people that would be appreciated

>>53338703
We at the Carnifelin Confederacy concern ourselves with the quality of life of all of the galaxies species, and would like to be assured that your slaves are at least well fed and have shelter and basic services.

>>53338720
Ah, you have nothing to worry about then. As slaves do not qualify as a species, there is no concern

>>53338735
So they are robotic are they?

>>53338745
No, slaves just aren't people

>>53338756
I'm not sure i agree with that. We may have to approach this issue another time.

Perhaps we should talk about possible AI improvements, which I might say, could replace your slaves?

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I greet you all from the 17th dimension dark planet 9, We do not have any ftl transports but have succeeded in creating portals via a form of energy manipulation, would any of you be adverse to trading us some of your dead for research purposes? We can pay in precious metals and gifts of knowledge.

>>53339387
Why do you require our dead? If it is for biological study we would be happy to provide the data.

>>53339405
Biological study and research to determine if our energy manipulation arts are compatable with the biology of your cadavers. We have encountered peoples in the past that were incompatable but still gained greater knowledge through the study, usually fungal or armorphous species. We would be happy to commit resources for a joint study however the manipulation of our energy manipulation has shown to have negative effects on most other races living bodies.

>>53339454
Of precisely what nature is your energy manipulation?

This isn't the first time we have dealt with extra dimensional invaders i'll have you know.

You had better not be trying anything shifty.

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>>53335935
The Dicklords refuse to cooperate with your racist "deceny laws" any longer! My people are proud and we shall wear full body coverings NO LONGER!

>>53339503
As long as in public you keep your genitalia, sorry, I meant yourself, covered we will have no problem what you do in private.

Remember the majority is what matters, and the majority wishes you to comply.

When on our planets you must comply with federation laws and rulings.

>>53339503
We've explained before, the requirement for full-body coverings is predominantly a hygeine issue. Your species has an unfortunate habit of secreting fluids that act as transmission vectors for a number of diseases we currently have few treatment methods for.

Within your own habitats you are of course free to spurt and ooze whatever manner of fluids you wish, wherever you wish, but within shared public concourses, we ask you respect other species' right to be healthy and non-splattered.

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>>53335935
The Dukedom welcome all our Avian brethren

>>53339619
And We welcome the Dukedom in turn.

>>53339669
We feel no ill towards those of non-avian disposition, we merely hope they can find betterment outside our borders.

>>53339686
While it is sad that non-avians are not welcomed, it makes us in the Federation happy that you welcome at least some species.

Would it be possible for you to reconsider your thoughts on the inclusion of non-avians into your borders?

>>53339720
All Avian races are borne of the Solar Phoenix's feathers that fell in his flight, other races come from their own deities. It's to avoid a conflict ion of ideals.

>>53339736
It is a shame that we cannot persuade you to accept the wingless peoples of the galaxy, We at the Federation understand that the spiritual beliefs of a society are important and will respect your choice.

Would you be willing to entertain the idea of providing support for the non-avian people of the galaxy when it is there time of need?

>>53339759
>>53339797
Keep trying, you'll get there eventually friend

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The United Tribes of Taxka have reviewed the proposals by the Vultaum Star Assembly, and are happy to--

Wait a second, you people aren't Valtaum. Fuck, what year is it?

Invent FTL, they said. You'll conquer the galaxy, they said. But what no one fucking told us is that we'd be the slowest motherfuckers in the galaxy.

>>53339830
I post like once every five months and consistently fuck it up every time..

>>53339820
Duke Claws of Burgundy, like his predecessors, has stood by his allies and friends in times of danger, Avian or not

>>53339837
Please tell me you didn't develop FTL for the reason of galactic conquest? As i'm sure you can understand We would not take kindly to any military forays into the combined territories of the Federation.

>>53339853
I also mainly lurk, so I understand your plight my goodman

>>53339865
A respectable sentiment! We would be proud to extend an invitation into the Federation, if you would be happy to accept of course?

>>53339895
Our desire is that the Rock Dukedom and her people enter a status of association with your proud Federation, if possible.

>>53339895

Originally, yes, we intended to burn planets, enslave lesser beings, and ensure the primacy of the God Turtle's will within the galaxy.

That was thousands of years ago, however, and we've realized we just don't move fast enough to conquer anything but each other.

You all are so fast. Have you considered taking time to stop and enjoy the space scenery?

We demand that the Federation forces leave our worlds, or we will take them back by force.

>>53339976
We would be proud to call the great Rock Dukedom an associate of the Federation

>>53339987
It is greatly pleasing to the Carnifelin Confederacy and the Federation at large that you have seen the wisdom of a peaceful approach to life.
While we all wish to slow down and enjoy the niceties sometimes, it is not always possible to do so in this busy world we find ourselves in.

>>53340010
What Federation forces? I assure you we are a peaceful people. I'm sure there will be no need for violence.

>>53340037
The Duke is glad to hear and hopes to develop a fruitful relationship wit your Federation and its amalgamation of races.

>>53340088
We are happy to hear this. I am confident this relationship will develop into a productive and pleasing arrangement for all parties involved.

>>53340143
We would also like if you would extend our message of Avian confederation with those avain nations near or within your Federation

Where's the human ambassador? He said something about alari fluff.

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The Technocracy would like to remind everyone that technology is sacred and you are all too filthy to touch it.

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SQUALIA~
SEDAYA~
SALA!~

[YOUR HOUR OF RECKONING IS AT HAND, FILTHY XENOS WORMS]
[THE GALAXY SHALL BE CLEANSED AND REDUCED TO DUST]
[NONE CAN WITHSTAND OUR MIGHT]

>>53335935
Ambassadors! The spiritualist fallen empire and the Materialist Fallen empire are almost ready to go to war over what should be on Friday's dinner menu, pizza or tacos?

>>53340212
We will relay your message and invitation to all the avians in our fold.

>>53340251
We have not been in communication with the humans, though this representative of the technocracy, >>53340265, appears to be similar. Maybe he would suffice?

>>53340284
Are you sure that is a good idea? The current galactic political situation is rather precarious. It would be best if you decided not to pursue such as actions.

>>53340292
What foolishness! Those Empires have been around for more than long enough to know the answer is BOTH!

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>>53336067
Da Vorgel bringy da good stuffs! I is presenti to you allz; Spicy Hungo witha munchi Witeo sauce! Is delicacy of da Vorgel! Must try! Lotta for everyone!

>>53340265
What do you mean we are too filthy to touch our own technology? We made it!

>>53340355
Once the scientists have verified it is safe for consumption I'm sure we will all enjoy your delicacies.

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Ahh, lovely. Another Federation session is always looked forward to by the Selarians. For the sake of my Macularius Division's lorekeepers, would any of you
>>53339837
>>53340284
>>53339619
newly encoutered species kindly introduce yourselves?

>>53340330
Does the federation prevent wars or intervene in them?

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>>53335935
We would like to petition the Federation to intervene on behalf of our people, who have rightfully colonized the planet known as LV-426, to place sanctions on the Human company Weyland-Yutani for their acts of agression against our people.

For years we've been subject to kidnapping attempts and recently, outright attempted genocide by not only Weyland-Yutani, but also humans in general.

We would like to remind the Federation that we not only submitted a formal request to colonize LV-426, but were granted the rights to the planet.

>>53340422
We prefer to prevent them. Peaceful solutions are always prefered.

>>53340265
B-butti! We Iz likey worky with technology! Iffy we no good with the makey and buildy of things, than we Iz useless to greatah galaxy! Youz rules is stupids, and da Vorgel specie's refusy to do this! If you no likey datty, and try to stop us, wez is declare our first evah war on youz!

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>>53340330
>Are you sure that is a good idea? The current galactic political situation is rather precarious. It would be best if you decided not to pursue such as actions.

SQUILA~
SENIA~
SALI~

[WE CARE NOT FOR YOUR PETTY POLITICS]
[ALL IS UNCLEAN]
[PRAY TO YOUR ALIEN GODS IN YOUR ALIEN TEMPLES, YOUR DOOM IS NIGH]

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>>53340413
We are the Rok Dukedom, a nation composed of Avian races from across the stars

>>53340408
Oh, is daft for da consumpy! So long as youz is ok with da sweet taste, and not allergic to da sweet sweets!

>>53340413
SQUA~
SALIANA~
SENA~

[WE ARE THE ORASH, INHERITORS OF CREATION]
[YOU ARE NAUGHT BUT UNCLEAN FILTH]
[NOT EVEN THE GALAXY UNITED WILL BREAK OUR FURY]

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>>53340413
>>53340482
SENIL~

[THIS ONE FORGOT TO ACTIVATE THIS ABOMINABLE ALIEN VIDEO DEVICE]

>>53340251
I'm here, but I wont participate in sessions so often in these days. I have a bit overwhelming agenda on terra

As for the alari fluff, I wrote it in previous thread, but it didn't get much attention 53307060
+Alari creator didn't appear in these days, so...

>>53340482
Oh, Iz onnah d'ose specie's...

>The three and a half foot tall, reptilian ambassador would let out a loud sigh.

Whens we gonna have someone fixi-fixs da spammy filters around heres? Deez messages getting old by da quickie...

>>53340513
Sorry, forgot to properly link the previous thread
>>53307060

>>53340424
I'm sure the Weyland-Yutani corporation do not represent the entirety of humanity, but you shall have you planet as promised.

>>53340455
Would a few gifts persuade otherwise? It would be best if war could be avoided.

>>53340477
I'm sure we will all enjoy them.

>>53340497
SKIRI~
SENKI~
SADYELI~

>>53340474
Ahh, so interesting to see new royalty willing to contribute , we ourselves are a society of myriad reptilian species that were present during the last two Federation conferences.
>>53340497
The Federation has seen its fair share of conflict sir, and if you wish to continue this tone of conversation, there is a certain Representative Jaxara who I'm sure you can talk to.

The first shipment of carbon from allied worlds arrived last month. Extremely cheap carbon nanotube weaves and construction materials will be made available to all members of the federation. We only request that it is used for armor only, and not projectiles. This should greatly supplement our collective defensive capabilities.

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>>53340520
SEJAI~
SENAILE!~

[INSOLENT CREATURE, HOW DARE YOU]
[YOUR WORLDS HAVE JUST BEEN MOVED TO THE 2212 POSITION ON OUR CURRENTLY 22212121 LONG LIST OF WORLDS TO ERADICATE!]

>>53340553
We have entered association status with the Fedration. We wish to know if you would be willing to take a race of reptilians from a planet in our space?

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>>53340528
SEJAYA~

[GIFTS ARE MEANINGLESS, NOR WOULD WE WANT SUCH TRITE THINGS TOUCHED BY FILTHY XENOS MANIPULATORS]

>>53340552
SEDEYLA!~
SERESHA?~
[GREETINGS, KIN!]
[WHY ARE YOU ON A FILTHY XENOS NETWORK?]

>>53340553
SENALIORA!~
SENE~

[THE 'CONFLICT' YOU SPEAK OF IS NAUGHT BUT PETTY TERRITORIAL AND RESOURCE DISPUTES!]
[WE COME TO BURN.]

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We would like to also remind the federation that the Humans killed our matriarch, wiped out one of our colonies, and detonated a nuclear device on a planet that was granted to us.

We would like to ask the Federation to collect reparations from the Human governments in the form of at least 1,000 human hosts to replace our numbers, and a further 10,000 human hosts be awarded to us for emotional distress for the loss of our dearly beloved matriarch.

>>53340613
SAKIDE~
[just passing nearby]
SALIE~
[What is happening here?]

>>53340618
Suitable hosts can be manufactured, if that is required. The humans are unlikely to permit 11,000 of their number to be utilized for reproduction in your manner. Upon review of the genetic dossiers provided to us, yours was not a species that was classified as sentient until recently. Perhaps that is the cause of the human crime?

>>53340570
>The tiny reptilian sentient would seem rather preoccupied by the two pieces of metal he would be welding infront of him.
>After a few moments, the ambassador would pull off the welding mask, and turn of the plasma torch in his hand, before looking up as his view screen.

Iz sorry, were you of da saying somet'ings?

>>53340607
Mmm... an interesting offer. well, we first would have to send a rather large group of missionaries led by a chief of the Pogona Division. In order to determine their willingness to convert to our faith of course.

>>53340663
They exist within a early industrial level of technology, nothing your surely able clerics can't handle. May we inquire to what your faith is about?

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>>53340660
Foinally, a speesees I can relate too. You Vorgel types have bin 'ere since da beginning of the Federation haven't ya? Speakin' of which, your mek-an-i-kal prowess is well-reknowned, despite all the trash blockin the comms on my homeplanet of Kronch. We shud keep in touch, us humble Downtown Kronch types could make good use of u Vorgel, what with the tenshuns roising between us and doze Uptown Kronch types.

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>>53340647
SERETI~
SINOSE~

[AH, STAY SAFE, BROTHER; MANY XENOS AROUND HERE]
[THE HOMEWORLD HAS OFFICIALLY DECLARED ITS GALACTIC CRUSADE AGAINST ALL XENOS LIFE.]

>>53340660
SEREINEDESHALENI~
[INSOLENT THING HOW DARE YOU ACT SO PUERILE TO YOUR IMPENDING DOOM I WILL PERSONALLY OVERSEE THE SCOURING OF YOUR HOMEWORLD I WILL FEAST ON YOUR YOUNG AND DEFACE WHAT LITTLE REMAINS OF YOUR MONUMENTS I WILL DESTROY YOU]

>>53340613
If you will not accept gifts we will have no choice but to defend ourselves. Consider this a cessation of negotions.

>>53340607
The Carnifelin Confederacy would be more than happen to accept all species.

>>53340712
SAXLANI?~
[really? Never heard it on our national tv program...]
SADILE!~
[then war it is...]

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>>53340010
Hazar we have gone over this many times if you wish war it will end the same as the last.

>>53340284
This goes the same for you the Federation does not take acts of aggression lightly.

>>53340474
You might be interested in meeting one of our founding races the Ploraxians they are avians as well.

>>53340728
SINUTILA~

[THESE WERE NEVER NEGOTIATIONS, THEY WERE PROMISES]

>>53340731
SURASHI~
[YEAH, IT WAS ONLY ON CHANNEL 201 FOR SOME REASON]

>>53340728
It would all depend on which nation would be better for them

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As we all know, 90% of the spacefaring small mammalian species were mysteriously hunted to extinction 2 cycles ago. I propose a new measure recognizing the protected status of small mammals and an adjunct bill guaranteeing the hunting rights of our species on small mammals, for cultural and religious reasons.

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>>53340758
SEROLI!~
[BLASTED VIDCOMS!!!]

>>53340743
SERILOTA!~
[WE HAVE LITERALLY JUST DECLARED GENOCIDAL WAR AGAINST ALL OTHER LIFE, WE KNOW!]

>>53340758
They were negotiations to prevent war! There is no need for violence!

>>53340759
All to true, though I'm sure habitats can be made to accommodate all people of the galaxy.

Sadly though we at the Carnifelin Confederacy appear to be having issues connecting to the rest of the Federation. As soon as the problem is resolved we shall rejoin the meeting.
Great thread guys. If it is still up in the morning I will rejoin.

>>53340743
We would really like for them to consider an invitation to our Duchy

>>53340786
Then we shall do what needs to be done, we can handle the Hazar and we can most definitely handle you.

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>>53340707
Ah, it is good that the humans have at last decided to join us.

>>53340786
For what reason is your declaration?

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>>53340794
SEYUINA~

[THERE IS EVERY NEED FOR VIOLENCE]

>>53340812
SOBEDASHI~

[THE HAZAR ARE WEAK XENOS, WE ARE STRONG ORASH]

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>>53340712
>The Ambassador's attention would be entirely focused upon a small, yet colourful plastic cube that his four digits hands would be fumbling with. His tongue would be stuck out at the right corner of his mouth, as he attempts to match all the colours up.
>When he had finally become annoyed with it, he would place it down on the table before him.

Stupeed human cun-trap-ition! How dey do dis! *Grumble, grumble*.

>At this point, he'd finally take notice of the star fish looking sentient, with the nipple shaped tattoos.

Oh! Me da sorry, Iz not notice you talking to me. Dis human puzzle, very hard to dozzy! Maybe youa know how ta do et?

>>53340707

Yes, dis iz da truthi! Al'dough we kindaz foundy the Federations bya da aki-ce-dent... My peoplez was tryin's ta go da uddah direction.

As fori stayin' in da comm-comms, my peoplez be happy ta doin' datty!

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>>53340649
A perceived lack of sentience has been the justification for atrocities across the galaxy for hundreds of years. How long will this flimsy excuse be tolerated? For far too long, civilizations have been oppressed and acts of genocide committed due to this "lack of sentience."

The most cursory examination of our culture would turn up a plethora of evidence for our sentience. Communication? Just because we communicate via pheromones and ultrasonic vibrations are no excuse. We have built great works of architecture, as evidenced by our sprawling and beautiful hive that was obliterated by the humans.

The humans are clearly in the wrong here and if the federation will not take action and force the humans to provide reparations, we will have no choice but to take them ourselves.

As a reminder of the humans acts of aggression, I would like to present this photo of one of our children that was brutally captured and dissected by a human. This poor innocent was but one of many that was killed on our colony by the humans. A single human single-handedly wiped out one of our nurseries with a flamethrower.

They call us mindless animals, but you don't see us deliberately targeting and attacking the nurseries of other species.

>>53340683
Extended fluff from the last few threads:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1hArjdR5NINCq9H0AthQ8iOKlHjO7cK54XN2XSwirifg/edit

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Hello there friends.
Apologies for being gone.
Its spring on my planet and I have allergies.
There's also a heat wave going on.
Anyone in need of assitance?

>>53340852
Izzy you starti dah wars wit' uddah sentients, becausi you is sen-see-tives about youz peoplez tattoo nipples? Is ok if you sen-see-tive abouti demz, but you no needy to take the arms up becausi youz is made fun of abouts it. Iz not nicey!

>>53340863
We are new to the galaxy, with only two colonized worlds, and a population totaling just over a million. Reparations will be made, but is the path to peace paved with those the humans would deem "irreplaceable"? Our Weavers can compose suitable organisms for your reproduction, and in far greater numbers. This would allow you to repair the damage to your population. The Spark that you and most others call sentience is composed of more than just intelligence and communication, it is the willingness to accept a path which contributes to the collective Balance.

>>53340852
Oh joy you called the Hazar weak now you've done it.(with any luck they will kill you for us)

>>53340887
Welcome Representative Jaxara it seems we are dealing with a bit of an issue regarding a hostile species.

>>53340786
I do believe your elite Tau warriors may be needed once again, good Representative. It seems we have a new plague upon the galaxy:>>53340786

>>53340919
I see.
Well there are many ways to defend against a hostile takeover.
What species are they?

>>53340924
oops, I meant the Tau>>53340887 and their elite fighters

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I would like to note that despite the importance of our belief in the Solar Phoenix, we are a monarchy with the church separate from the state.

>>53340863
Youzi do of da realize day you specie'z litterally havva youz children throwy-throws dem'selves at uddah sentients and animals, to rapey da mouthy eatting holes to prop-o-gate youz species...

>>53340869
Well we would be happy to admit your clergy to their world, under escort of the areas naval forces of course,

>>53340944
These here >>53340786 they are even picking fights with the Hazar.

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>>53340827
SURITALE~
SUYI?~

[YOU ARE XENOS]
[IS THERE NEED FOR ANY OTHER REASON?]

>>53340853
SURITANELIORTANELUYITANEREUTPIOLTAENSAERTIOWQUESNA!!!~

[WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST FUCKING SAY TO ME, YOU LITTLE WORM? I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW I GRADUATED TOP OF MY CLASS IN THE ORASH DESTROYERS, AND I'VE BEEN INVOLVED IN NUMEROUS PUBLIC BURNINGS ON XENOS WORLDS, AND I HAVE OVER THREE DOZEN CONFIRMED PLANETARY EXTINCTIONS. I AM TRAINED IN URCHIN WARFARE AN I'M THE TOP AHNIALATOR IN THE ENTIRE ORASH MILITARY. YOU ARE NOTHING TO ME BUT ANOTHER SPECK OF XENOS FILTH. I WILL EXTINCT YOUR SPECIES WITH FEROCITY THE LIKES OF WHICH HAS NEVER BEEN SEEN BEFORE IN THIS GALAXY, MARK MY FUCKING WORDS. YOU THINK YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH SAYING THAT SHIT TO ME OVER YOUR PETTY COMMS NETWORKDS? THINK AGAIN, WORM. AS WE SPEAK I AM MOBILIZING MY FLEET FROM THIS WARSECTOR OF THE GALAXY AND YOUR PLANETARY COORDINATES ARE BEING TRIANGULATED RIGHT NOW SO YOU BETTER PREPARE FOR THE FIRESTORM, WORM. THE FIRESTORM THAT WIPES OUT THE PATHETIC LITTLE THING YOU CALL YOUR SPECIES. YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD, WORM. I CAN BE ANYWHERE, ANYTIME, AND CLEANSE YOUR PLANETS IN OVER SEVEN HUNDRED DIFFERENT WAYS, AND THAT'S JUST WITH CONVENTIONAL STARFLEETS. NOT ONLY AM I EXTENSIVELY TRAINED IN EFFICIENT WORLD BURNING, BUT I HAVE ACCESS TO THE ENTIRE ARSENAL OF THE ORASH AND I WILL USE IT TO ITS FULL EXTENT TO WIPE YOUR MISERABLE SPECIES OFF THE FACE OF THE GALAXY, YOU LITTLE SHIT. IF ONLY YOU COULD HAVE KNOWN WHAT HOLY RETRIBUTION YOUR LITTLE "CUTE" ACTIONS WAS ABOUT TO BRING DOWN ON YOUR SPECIES, MAYBE YOU COULD HAVE ACTED MORE RESPECTFUL. BUT YOU COULDN'T, YOU DIDN'T, AND NOW YOU'RE PAYING THE PRICE, YOU XENOS WORM. I WILL SHIT FURY ALL OVER YOU AND YOU WILL BURN IN IT. YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD, WORM.]

>>53340910
SQUALAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~
[ENOUGHENOUGHENOUGHENOUGHENOUGHENOUGHENOUGHENOUGHENOUGHENOUGH]

>>53340945
>>53340984
Oh dear.
I am sorry but our elite are unavailable.
We do have many mercenarys though.
Kroot or Vespids?
Those are the main species we have as mercenarys.
The Kroot are good at CQC and the Vespid are, in their words "Too fast for you."

>>53340998
What tenants of your philosophy forbid the existence of others who possess the Spark?

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>>53340998
Such threats are unbecoming of your people

>>53340998
Aren't you just the most adorable fanatical purifier. Who's the cute widdle genocidal alien? Yes, you are!

>>53340998
Iz you 'avin a tempah tantrum? Deez fungoid eyes o'mine can't rilly tell, espeshully since dee eyez of ur speciez is so black, hollow and small. Like a doll. Is zat wat you r? A little dolly?

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>>53340919
SERITALO!~
SORITALIORES!~

[HAH, LET THEM COME!]
[MARTIAL XENOS ARE ALMOST NOT AS DISGUSTING AS NORMAL XENOS, AND WE WELCOME THE FIGHT!]

>>53341028
SERIYANA!~

[YOU DARE ORDER THIS ONE TO REVEAL THE MOST HOLY OF THOUGHT TO XENOS SENSORS! INSULT!]

>>53340998
>Just as the little starfish sentient, with nipple tattoos was finishing his temper tantrum, the Vorgel ambassador would just be coming back with a plate full of food he had gotten from the nearby buffet table, and would just now, be sitting down.

Huh... Wassy you speakin' just a nowz? I was hungry fora da foodz, so wenti to getty sumz. I hopes you wasn't talkin' day wholly times.

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Greetings! My people, the Cyber-owl colony of Colocus lV hereby petition to join you Federation.

We are a small civilization residing in an Asteroid belt that was once our home world. While we have transcended most of our carnal needs, we actively and quietly seek wisdom and information around the universe.

>>53341057
Analysis of your communication indicates a desire for communication. If all that you wish to alert us to is imminent conflict, you have done so. Any further communication is pointless if you are unwillingly to reveal the reasons for the conflict.

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>>53341031
>>53341033
>>53341054
SERIDASHILO!~

[YOU'RE ALL ON THE LIST! YOUR DOOM APPROACHES IN APPROXIMATELY 2100 STANDARD GALACTIC YEARS, LESS THAN A SINGLE LIFETIME OF THE AVERAGE """INTELLIGENT""" XENOS!]

>>53341057
Iz is almosty wantta to petz him, and see iff'in' he purr likka Quilto bunny.

>>53341092
Big talk for such a diminutive beast

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>>53341092
Aw! He's making threats at us, honey go get the camera!

>>53341082
Why hello there!
Your people must truly have knowledge beyond ours to shed your body's and become robotic.
Do you have any knowledge on A.I?
We are currently trying to have mechs have an autopilot feature.

>>53341091
Duz you f'ink he knowzi he has nipples tattooed on him? I dun t'ink he do...

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>>53341075
SERIAAAAAAAAAAA!~

[I HAVE JUST CHANGED MY FLEET'S COURSE. I WILL END YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!]

>>53341091
SORASA~

[THIS IS FOR AMUSEMENT, XENOS]

>>53341109
>>53341112
SERINALOTA!~

[A SINGLE ONE OF MY KIND CAN TEAR A STANDARD XENOS IN TWAIN WITH BUT A TWITCH OF ITS MANIPULATOR! THIS INFERIOR COMMUNICATION EQUIPMENT DOES NOT CAPTURE OUR FULL GLORY!]

>>53341075
HAW Haw haw! You'z fantastic moi man. All u Vorgel got dis much spunk? Or iz dat why they choze you as the Emissary? Oi hope I can visit one of doze big ships you guys build, sometime soon anywayz. U probly wouldn't wanna come to Downtown Kronch anyhow.

>>53341112
Morez likka "Big talkie-talks for sentient witti nipplez tattooed to he'z body." Iz I roight?

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>>53341131
We've seen larger and more advanced empires humbled by the Ra battleships, your people will follow the same pattern.

>>53341147
You speak a most eloquent truth Vorgel

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>>53341119
SORILE~

[PETULANT HUMAN, I HAVE PERSONALLY SLAIN MANY OF YOUR DISGUSTING KIND]

>>53341162
SQUONI!~

[YES, SEND YOUR MIGHTIEST FLEETS SO THAT WE MAY CRUSH THEM, SO THAT YOUR PEOPLE AND ALL THE GALAXY MAY KNOW DESPAIR!]

>>53341131
Pointless posturing. Further communication has been prioritized. I would suggest that an alteration of doctrine would be beneficial to your peoples.

>>53341091
W'nai representative, you intrigue me greatly. So calculating in your judgment of this species who might just as well be ready to assault any Federation world. Your abilities are after my own heart, like the most accomplished Macularius Cleric. The Abbott sends his regards and would love to be introduced to your wise society, size being of no matter to our humble asteroid belt community.

>>53341189
We will build bird sanctuaries on the tombs we will make of your worlds

>>53341189
Not going to lie.
You are quite pathetic.
How many ships in your biggest fleet?
100?
300?

>>53341214
Rumour has that they have a hundred fighters with the rest being merchant vessels

>>53341131
>He'd be busy picking out the food he had just eaten with a toothpick.
>Once he had finished doing so, he would look up at the communicator.

Hey, youz picture resi-lotion iz goin' all fuzzy-fuzzy. You wantta me to helpy youz fixi et?

>>53341135
Me t'ankz youz fori da comp-lee-ments! Assi for da "spunks", and me getting chosi-choose for da positions I in, Iz was accident really. I was originally ah-ply-ing fora da positions as Bank manager. Just so happen, me go to wrong building, and me also have right credentials for da job.

>>53341205
With all do respect Selarian we feel the best option would be to pursue more direct methods against these hostiles.

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>>53340974
Our propagation is a gift to all. When another gives birth to one of ours, he is gloriously reborn and elevated to the pinnacle of perfection. How could any species not want this?

>>53341228
Oh that's just sad.

>>53341253
Not that thier mightiest ship could stand up to a Ra

>>53341189
Mez wondah wit happen wheni he belly-tums getta poked? Mez betz day he go "WEEEEE~!" Likki da boy madez of dough... Wot he called agains?

>>53341243
.... Youz children mouthy rape us... Wot d'ere too likki-likkis?

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>>53341202
SERIDAS~

[WE SAY NAY, OUR PURPOSE IS SET.]

>>53341213
SERISILALA!~

[WE APPRECIATE THE OFFER OF FREE FOOD PRODUCING LESSER LIFE, BUT IT WILL NOT SAVE YOU FROM YOUR DOOM!]

>>53341214
SORINASASALINE!~

[WE WILL NOT PROVIDE OUR EXACT MILITARY DETAILS, MANIPULATIVE WORM, BUT OUR GRANDEST FLEET POSSESES OVER 10201 BATTLESHIPS BY STANDARD CLASSIFICATION, THRICE AS MUCH IN LINE CRUISERS, AND THRICE ONCE MORE IN ESCORT CRAFT!]

>>53341232
SKREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!~
[REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!]

>>53341232
'Ere on Kronch, we wud call wat you just did to those funny little guyz wit da nipple tattoos, a ROAST. 'Tis a verbal beatdown so's to speak, an you Vorgel got a knack for it. Shoot, if u came to Kronch, a planet rather lacking in in-ter-stell-ar travel, oi bet u could show those boo-zwah-see in Uptown wat's wat.

>>53341316
Who amongst us posses the technology to create a black hole in their space?

>>53341205
Our experience has come from much... trouble. The Art of Weaving was gifted to our people early, and with it a variance in morphology that seems to be unusual among the peoples of the universe. This lead to great conflict as to which form was best, for many, many years. Eventually, the Doctrine was established, and with it the Balance.

Currently, our homeworld's three continents now represent the major divisions in morphology and philosophy among our people, those with the Spark. I represent the Malok, who desire learning and mingling with the people of the galaxy. We are the most populated faction at this time. There are also the Hunters, the Ori - who have developed themselves in representation of the dominance that Weaving can bring. Finally, there are the Yie, who have disappeared into themselves, and joined with the land itself.

Representatives from other species are most welcome on the two colonized worlds of our system, but for their own safety are forbidden from intrusion onto the home world. Pheromone signatures would mark them as prey to the Ori, and for absorption into the Yie.

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>>53341316
Please don't tell me you're serious

>>53341366
SOTILANI!~

[WE APPRECIATE THE OFFER FOR A FREE GRAVITATIONAL SLINGSHOT, BUT IT WILL NOT SAVE YOU!]

>>53341392
SERIN!~
SENIYULI!~
SORINALA~

[I AM DEADLY SERIOUS, XENOS!]
[OUR GRANDEST FLEET IS BUT A SMALL PORTION OF OUR MILITARY MIGHT!]
[WE USE MANY, TACTICALLY VIABLE FLEETS ACTING IN CONCERT, NOT ONE MASSIVE CLUSTER OF SHIPS LIKE GLORYSEEKING WORMS!]

>>53341316
Daaaw, he t'ink his nipple tattoos threat-ah-ning! I Iz wants pokka his belly-tumz!

>>53341318

>The ambassador's mouth would begkn drooling at the word "roast".

Mmmm... Roasti....

>Coming back to reality, he'd wipe the saliva from his face, before coughing.

Wells iffy datti wots you wantz. Vorgel be happy to do et more often!

>>53341205
We are willing to upload further information as to our peoples, in fair exchange for knowledge of your own.

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>>53341463
SEROLI!!!~
[BLASTED VIDCOMS!!!!!!!]

>>53341366
Da Vorgel does! ...Iz just bettah iffy we no fire it at them. We badz witti directions...

>>53341463
Can wez all comez and pokki youz belly? We Iz promises too not touching youz sen-see-tive nipple tattoos.

>>53341463
Please turn your translator on.
Your embarrassing yourself.
What's your greatest military feat?

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I shall be taking over all official communications dedicated towards the Rok Dukedom and her dominions. Any questions you may have about our nation I will be happy to answer.

>>53341478
Ahhh...but of course, dealing in trade is the Macularius specialty and information, even more so. We have noticed a striking resemblance between your society and ours, as a result of this unique matter manipulation known as 'Weaving'. Each of the three sects on your home planet each encompass certain values we consider to be our ultimate goal. The establishment of the inner calm, that is. Further information can be found here:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1hArjdR5NINCq9H0AthQ8iOKlHjO7cK54XN2XSwirifg/edit
Additionally, most intriguing is the Yie sect. Tell me, how do they interact once they are absorbed into the earth, and what are their lives and capabilities like?

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>>53340265
Spoken wel, brother.
0101011101101000011110010010000001101000011000010111011001100101001000000111011101100101001000000110111001101111011101000010000001100101011100100110000101110011011001010110010000100000011101000110100001100101011100110110010100100000011011010110111101101110011001110111001001100101011011000111001100100000011001100111001001101111011011010010000001100101011110000110100101110011011101000110010101101110011000110110010100101100001000000110001001110010011011110111010001101000011001010111001000111111

>>53340823
It looks like our spores have done their job in the human realms.

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>>53341473
SER~

[DO NOT.]

>>53341510
S E R ~

[DO. NOT.]

>>53341521
SORILADA!~

[THE COMPLETE AND UTTER STERILIZATION OF THE HRUXOIS SECTOR, INCLUDING THE TOTAL MILITARY DEFEAT OF THE HRUXOISIAN HEGEMONY! IT WAS A GLORIOUS CRUSADE, NEARLY TEN BILLION XENOS SLAUGHTERED ON THE FIRST DAY OF BOMBARDMENT!]

>>53341621
Starfish, shall we work together to cleanse the galaxy of inferior life? We can "split" the galaxy afterwards.

>>53341621
>He'd begin poking the hologram of the starfish, right where his tattoo nipples were.

Iffy it was only da reali one! Thissi be more fun!

>>53341621
Hruxois? U mean those germs? What was it called, the in-ter-stell-ar bak-tee-ree-o-fage? You killed ten billion of 'em? What'd u do, wipe a xenos' hands? Haw haw haw!

>>53341621
The Hruxoisian Hegemony?
You mean the dead sector where every planet declared themselves independent and then nuked eachother?
Was the volley from the trading ship at the capital planet yours?

>>53341570
Hmm. Your archives appear to require a go-ahead. I will confer with the others regarding access.

The Weave is more closely related to what others would call the manipulation of the code of life, our ability to alter the fundamental energies of the universe are primitive in comparison to most other members of the Federation. We communicate via radio only, though our Weavers are working closely with Federation members to work new revelations into the designs of our Great Balance. All objects are grown on W'nai.

It is difficult to precisely codify the beliefs of every individual of our kind. The idea of "us" and "other" is very new to our people, since before, all could assume a common ancestor, and link to the Spark. However, the Yie are roughly those who have joined with the planet on a fundamental level. Sacrificing mobility and individuality for a closer relationship to the Great Balance, of which all life of the home world is a part.

Recently, there have been whispers among the Yie who have joined with the Balance that there has been a discovery of great importance near the core of our planet, but the Divergence is such that we cannot hear their words with much clarity.

My agenda on terra is over.
Greetings again, fellow Federation Members.
All the previous threads and writings are kept safe on Terra, in .doc format.

>>53341621
>>53341639
By the Decree of Ecclesiarchy, Mankind Dominion Declares a Grand Crusade against your degenerate Empires!

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>>53341639
SOLITERINAQUANI~
SERANIS!~

[WE DO NOT ALLY WITH XENOS, BUT, WE CONSIDER IT PRUDENT TO MOVE YOUR EXTERMINATION PRIORITY TO THE END OF THE LIST. WE HAVE ALSO DETERMINED THAT YOUR VESSELS ARE CURRENTLY NOT WORTH WASTING AMMUNITION AND ENERGY ON, WHEN THERE ARE FAR MORE DESERVING RACES.]
[SHOULD YOU PROVE YOURSELVES WORTHY IN THE COMING ERADICATIONS, WE SHALL ENGAGE IN GLORIOUS, EQUAL IMPERIAL CONFLICT. PERHAPS THERE SHALL EVEN BE A STALEMATE!]

>>53341652
>>53341688
SEQUAN~

[BEGONE, SUB-SOPHONTS]

>>53341691
SERILIONA~

[NO, YOU'RE THINKING OF THE HROXUSIAN HIERARCHY]

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The technocracy disdains your chosen file format. .txt is the ultimate text storage file, and anybody who says otherwise is a filthy heretic.

>>53341772
TURN ON YOUR TRANSLATOR BY THE GREATER GOOD

LEGIO XXII SOL INVICTUS deployed with XVII FLEET to the mollusk homeworld
This is the last warning. Stop your hostile activities, before humans send you to oblivion!

>>53341772
Agreed, starfish. The same considerations were made by our own admirals and generals. Best of luck to you.

>>53341832
My dude you need a name.

>>53341832
You have three days (30 minutes irl) for consideration!

>>53341847
I have, I forgot to turn it on

>>53341858
They won't human, too belligerent

>>53341876
Although I realize it, we have a strict protocol to offer them a negotiation in order to avoid further problems regarding intergalactic law.

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>>53341813
SOLA!~

[NO!]

>>53341836
SITALI~

[TO YOU AS WELL, SLIGHTLY-LESS-FILTHY-THAN-NORMAL XENOS]

Oh, woe is us! Sorry to say fellow representatives but it seems that the Federation and thus the galaxy as a whole just can't catch a break. This is the third major war we've had, and so soon after the last one. I'm just not sure what'll happen if we have wars every other Galactic month!

>>53341947
>SOLA
scriptura?

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>>53341832
>>53341858
>>53341899
SERIORE!~

[HAH, NOW YOU FACE THE MIGHT OF THE 1 THROUGH 110 DEFENSIVE FLEETS! ON YOURS, HUMAN SCUM!]

>>53341899
If they won't back, we will contribute 2,000 Yssravannar lancers to the cause

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Well, at least we dont get to answer to the law about further atrocities against warmongers

PREPARE THE ARMADA AND ADVANCED WEAPONS OF EXTERMINATUS!

>>53341570
To answers you queries more directly, interaction occurs along a long chain of individuals. Divergence has happened to a greater or lesser degree across the entire planet, but communication is still possible with those who are more closely related in morphology - so long as they still possess the Spark.

Those who we call the Yie are capable of incredible long life, and spread themselves over vast distances. Within the reach of their scope, they are capable of direct and indirect Weaving of the Great Balance.

Limited information is available regarding the daily lives of the Yie. Their thoughts move much more slowly than ours, but they are kind. They are the keepers of our world, and what revelations of new Weaving patterns are discovered by the Ori or the Malok are spread across it by the Yie - if judged to be worthy. Their danger lies in that they would sense the otherness of a new species, and in their desire to learn, the individual would be disseminated across the entirety of the planet.

>>53341947
DO IT

>>53342015
>>53341743
The history and capabilities of your people are very fascinating, and nothing like anything our clerics have encountered before, despite our well-traveled missionaries. Truly, the great Divergence among your peoples is lamentable, for if the adaptability of the Yie were combined with the Malok's diplomatic nature and the Ori's ability to assert their power, the W'nai would truly be a force to be reckoned with. They might even find their place among the myriad species that have colonized the Selarian asteroid belt.

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>>53342007
SERISHANALA!~

[FOOLISH HUMANS! YOUR PITIFUL LANCES ARE NOTHING COMPARED TO OUR MIGHT!]

>>53342064
SOLA!~

[NO!]

>>53342177
Your people are primitive and boorish

>>53342131
Viscount, we are trying to translate your electronic archives, however it requires access permission

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>>53342177
TURN IT ON

>>53342205
>>53341743
Ohh, my apologies good represenattives, so careless I was in compiling the document. HEre is the unlocked version:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1hArjdR5NINCq9H0AthQ8iOKlHjO7cK54XN2XSwirifg/edit

>>53342131
Our ships are small, and take many years to develop to fruition. At the moment, we are capable of short-range jumps. This is a dawning of a new era for our planet and peoples, certainly. The wealth of genetic information that has been acquired since joining the Federation will take years to process, and longer still to incorporate into the Great Balance.

There are Yie and Ori who aren't even aware of our colonization, but there are some who are. Factions are emerging among the Ori, for example, who wish to take the Hunt to the stars. I know of at least one young Yie who wishes to be transplanted to a new world, and begin a Second Great Balance. We will grow alongside the people of the stars.

For the time being, we have sent representatives to several members of the Federation. It seems that due to the oneness of other species, a myriad of diseases were allowed to take hold. We will do our utmost to prevent further death due to these, but it must be done carefully to avoid damage. It also seems that oneness is preferable to the vast majority of the Federation species, and thus our offers of Weaving are by and in large turned down.

>>53342256
This document is being processed. Please stand-by for queries.

>>53342256
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1hArjdR5NINCq9H0AthQ8iOKlHjO7cK54XN2XSwirifg/edit?usp=sharing

>>53342256
Thank you, viscount

>>53342235
On my planet, we call this autism

in the meantime, we exterminated 3 of molluskoid home planets and now advancing towards hazari home worlds
Special extermination missiles IPEM 3 "Diabolus" are prepared to be deployed.

>>53342256
Thank you for opening your archives Selarian

>>53342313
Holy shit my sides
On my planet we call it being stubborn.

>>53342256
Your principles are of interest to us, and the Weaving of the Universal Seed even more so. We request an exchange of diplomats. Do you accept?

>>53342391
Very much so, a delegation sent by the Abbott himself, with one of his species' governors has been arranged. To negate any possible language or cultural barrier, the naturally empathic and adaptive Furcifer division will attend, with some of Macularius acolytes to handle foreign affairs of course. We presume their lodgings will be orbiting above W'nai to avoid any accidental casualties due to our foreign nature?

How do the other nations conduct their ground operations? What tactics do they or individual species within carry out on the field?

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1VtQi0avyPFrHEOqnHSZFR84nDnupQxs--RstTkNP5lc
Heres the collections of things I've wrote so far
General fluff, Human fluff and somewhat Alari fluff too
though I think that 1d4chan would be better
Speaking of Alari, we haven't received a transmission from them. Are they allright?

>>53342561
Theres no need of ground operations, as we generally nuke the planet out of existence

>>53342463
Your representatives will be guided to the closer of the two colonized worlds. A representative of the Malok will meet your delegates there, as well as one from the Ori. The chosen delegate of the Ori is more... civilized than many of their morphological segment.

Your delegates will be housed with the Clan Ire. They were among the first to settle the colonized worlds. The Patron of the clan enforces a certain degree of oneness among those he counts as his children, which should make your stay more comfortable. They are bipedal, and have taken in a sort of initial averaging of the Federation genetic databases to their weaving. This should allow a much greater ease of communication, and familiarity. The younglings of the clan have expressed a singular fascination with the wider universe. Do not be surprised if after a few days, those we count among the younger begin to appear more like your delegates, as they may alter their Weave to fit yourselves.

The Ori representative identifies himself as of the Clan Fuon. Not much is known of them, but I have witnessed a Hunt of his. Members of his clan exude a gas which has hallucinogenic properties to incapacitate prey, blanketing an area of roughly a mile radius over a period of days. His appearance may shock you at first, as it has been designed to work with the visions produced by their Weave. He will be accompanied with a series of 5 translators, which shall form a chain of communication. He will have many questions regarding the robustness of those species which can be found among the stars.

>>53342651
How unsporting of you

>>53342651
>>53342686
Ok, on my planet, we call this "a joke"
Though in reality we dont share this precious information with xenos

>>53342714
You have no enemies here, mystery ambassador

>>53342760
Of course we don't, however, Our military tactics are confidential information and sharing it is a crime, punishable according to "Magna Constitutionis" of Mankind Dominion.

>>53342799
Understandable human. More so we were interested in what troops your nation utilises rather than tactics and strategies employed

Those kind of threads on /tg/ remind me of kiddies fighting with sticks and when determining who won they squabble and start shouting.

>~I KILLED YOUU
>NO YOU DIDNT I WON!

Also you have your own board now, how is that a traditional game? Kekd

>>53342874
In general, we use heavily armored men both as garrison and Assault marines. Humans are most powerful psyker race in universe, due to our legacy, therefore, every soldier is a psyker. However, there are certain battalions of specifically trained psykers, that are large portion of assault armies in planetary operations.
We also use Offensive battle tanks (mainly OBV-3 "ARES") During military operations. Though they are rarely required.

>>53342921
>t. Needs dice to tell him what to do
I don't like the thing!
Okay

>>53342921
We are mainly worldbuilding here
and if you dont like it, who is forcing you to sperg here in the first place?

>>53342982
Worldbuilding? That pathetic squabble about that mushroom dude and blueberry wasnt a sandpit thingy? Kek

>>53342950
We have separate races that fulfil different roles on the field, the Roc for example are primarily heavy infantry

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>>53342683
I'm sure the delegate clerics who volunteered for this mission are of the best stock, the Abbott in his wisdom would choose only the most tolerant of us to visit your foreign world. In fact, the Furcifer delegates' tendency to adapt their pigment to match their surroundings may bridge the gap between appearances.
Additionally, the representatives you choose to send will be welcomed by an escort of missionaries from the Pogona Division, who may most likely be accompanied by retainers from the Tiliqua Division who will cater to the needs of your diverse race. The Pogona, masters of lore and education as they are, will entertain your delegates with tales of our native asteroid cluster and details of our society and faith should you wish to learn them. Unfortunately, our humble organisation lacks the extensive FTL travel to make it to your planet quickly, so missionaries already in the field will stop by your planet in low orbit, and hopefully the escort frigate they hire will not be too shabby.
Once at the Home Cluster, you will most likely be greeted by a humble procession of Anolis Division, with the traditional performance in greeting of new diplomats, especially since your new race is so interesting. Your accommodations will be in the main temple on the first asteroid and you may receive visits from the Abbott, who rarely comes out of his meditative state, but who will certainly be interested in the W'nai.
Your race may also find pleasure in the gardens of the Universal Seed where the adaptive plant is allowed to freely adapt to the various harsh asteroid environments, resulting in various flora, creating a verdant meadow of sorts.

>>53342921
Okay

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Oi! Is dis da fed- da feder- da place where all da gitz meet?

>>53343488
Why, yessi! Dis where da Federation be doin' meetings!

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>>53343488
Everywhere is where gits can meet green skin

>>53343582
>>53343543
Flash! Oi'd like to posit a complaint before da council.

>>53343582
Unfortunately the Dukedom is merely a associate and as such I can't deposit complaints

Pardon replied to the wrong one
>>53343604

>>53343582
Also, greenskin is a 'fensive term.

>>53343604
Iffy it be abouti not havin' enough t'ings to do da fighty and killy, d'en you not need to keep talky.

Iffy it not about dat, d'en pleasi continues!

>>53343729
Then allow me to apologise Ork

>>53343737
Well ackshully, last time I was 'ere one of ya'z said dat dey was goin' ta be sendin' a fleet over to ork space, but dey still 'aven't showed up!

>>53343787
Yeah sosi... About dat....

>He'd stratch behind him neck.

That's wasa brutally cunnin' lie ya get you leave...

>>53343838
Wot! Dis is an outrage! Did da zoggin' oomies put ya up ta dis?

>>53343855
Et was a u-nan-e-mus decision.

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We here at Magpie Dynamics would like to offer our extensive personal security tools and services to any clients that may wish to upgrade their state of personal security.

Our offices are always contactable and we are also proud that we are hiring for new members to the Magpie Dynamics family.

Contact us!

>>53340251
If any of you need to speak with the Mankind Dominion You can speak to me while Antonius is taking care of his other business.

>>53344249
Confirmed
Sigend by:Antonius Chlorus

Yssravannar cavalry TODAY!

>>53344061
We'z got a sur- a surp- we'z got too many mekboyz. Can we trade for dakka?

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>>53338756
This guy

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I apologize for my tardiness, I was deeply involved in a ritual involving several toasters. I am sure you all understand

>>53339525

I'm not down with the space communists. Brb inciting rebellion.

>>53344437
Dat's a nice choppa you'z got. Wanna trade fer some teef?

>>53344437
Things have seemed to have winded down anyway technocrat

>>53344344
We will put your proposal imto consideration, in the meantime we can offer our hardware catalog to browse, just in case we can offer something you'd fancy.

>>53344857
Dat'd be noice.

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WHY DIDN'T YOU FUCKING FETID FAGGOTS INVITE ME?

>>53345593
You'ze a grot.

>>53345593
I think the FTL comms to your space sector were down when we sent out the invites.

>>53346303
>leans in and whispers
'e's a grot.

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Transmitting inquiry for the Papacy of chikh.
Some of Our population has shown a strange illness which is unlike any we have seen before. The symptoms include:
olfactory orfices emitting higher than average amounts of particulate blocking mucus,
Higher temperatures than average, as well as
Muscle aching around the appendages
Aid will be rewarded handsomely

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>>53344061

We would like to advertise the fact that our professional personal security personnel have very lax operating parameters. Offering a wide range of providable security services. As is a common phrase in our line of business: "The client's budget dictates the contract parameters." Which, in a more common manner of speaking, pretty much means that as long as our financing is in order, we can offer plenty of services. With maximum discretion if need be.

>>53347612
'Ow much teef for a shoota?

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Hello [Extremely]!

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>>53347651
Our personal firearms are highly reliable offering a high power tool for your personal security. The prices include shipping the hardware to your location, alongside with any additional merchandise such as grips, rails, optics, stocks, uppers, lowers, barrel conversions, ammunition, or illumination tools such as lasers or flashlihts. You can purchase everal firearms at once as long as you can provide payment. Quality is unfortunately quite costly.

As far as actuap prices go, we go lowest with our hajdguns wih the cheapest piece going onpy at 150 credits, while our larger, more powerful and more customizable bundles may price as high as 25 000 credits, and naturally for those who decide to add Magpie Dynamics security services to their life (for appropriate compensation naturally) also get discounts on our largest and priciest pieces in our stock.

With qualiy comes cost and the premium package which incoudes a Magpie Dynamics inc. Personal security team, several discounts on our services and products, and naturally access to our extensive supply of personal defense weapons, modifications, and munitions. Ranging from handguns to unmanned drones and beyond.

And it only comes at the cheap initial fee of 500,000 credits and a fee of 25 000 credits once every two fiscal years, for extended premium membership and access to premium goods and services.

>>53347832
Jesus christ I can't write worth shit... holy fuck

>>53347832
>the ork is pretending to pay attention but has clearly lost you
Uh huh... wot can I get fer dis sack o' teef?
>he plops a bag of ork teeth, marked by a crude federation credit symbol, on the council table

>>53347746
Wot?

>>53344440
The Carnifelin Confederacy is not one of your 'communists', we actually care for our people.

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I would like to call a matter to the attention of the council.

You see, the brain slugs face much undue persecution due to widespread ignorance about our race. Many fanatic xenophobes seem to think that brain slugs can infest any life form. They fearmonger and spread lies that the Brain Slug Harmonious Collective seeks to expand across the universe and infect all races and bring you under some sort of evil tyranny where we infest your minds and control you. Well let me tell you something, we can't even digest proteins found on other worlds, let alone interface our delicate neurology with the neurology of a completely foreign alien race. Your blood composition is toxic to us. Your skull is impenetrable. Your brain is incompatible. Our physiology arose from symbiotic evolution, over the course of thousands of years alongside a species of molluscoid animal. The animal is not sentient in any way, nor is it even capable of independent action without a brain slug symbiote, due to millenia of dependence on our species.

>>53348586
Oi, great! I needed a new 'air squig. Wearin' blue today was a good decishun.

>>53348748
Oh, I uh... forgot to make an addendum. We can sometimes steal other species' brains... But only for orks. Brain slugs are very dangerous for orks.

>>53348793
Dat's why I always wear an 'at -under- me 'air squigs. Clever, see?

>>53348804
Who's talkin', anyways?

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>>53348804
Quite clever, but have you considered the fact that brain slugs separated from the host mollusc will slowly starve to death due to the fact that we feed on the animal's blood and cerebral fluid?

If you abducted a brain slug to wear as a fashion accessory, it would eventually wither away and, if I may say so, look quite gauche.

>>53342639
In short: WE WUZ GODZ N SHEIT

>>53342639
Sorry, I managed to somehow miss the whole thread

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Good morning to all the ambassadors

>>53352168
Nice to see you that you are fine, Alari.
We were preparing an expedition to see if anything was wrong.

I wrote some fluff that I said about. So if you want, you can review it in link I wrote, or in previous threads. Please share your opinions about it :3

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Anyone up for exterminating some human scum?

>>53352471
Good morning to you too, may we interest you with our personal security services?

>>53353517
Our services are available for reasonable fees.

>>53347925
We can have these and any other valuables examined in order to trade for our goods and services.

>>53347832
>>53347612
>>53344061

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>>53352471
Good morning to you too, may we interest you with our personal security services?

>>53353517
Our services are available for reasonable fees.
Our private security contractors are professional security units fully invested in your personal security demands.

>>53347925
We can have these and any other valuables examined in order to trade for our goods and services.

>>53347832
>>53347612
>>53344061

>>53354167
fuck

>>53353517
Your welcome to try but I highly recommend you don't.

>>53353517
Should be a interesting show

New thread?

>>53354692
yes

>>53355142
Why? Bump limit is at 310.

>>53355207
did not know that

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>>53335935
>I am happy to announce another session of the Galactic Federation
[UNCONTROLLABLE DISGUST FUELED BY RAGE INTENSIFIES BEYOND REASON]

>>53352471
Good morning, Ambassador. Standing by for further transmissions.

>>53356695
Greetings to the preventative of the W'nai

>>53356757
Greetings. Are there any standing Federation matters that we could perhaps assist with?

>>53347385
This list of symptoms is well documented on other worlds, mainly those populated by mammalian bipedals. This aliment is generally non-deadly. If your genetic information is included in the dossier we were given, a remedy is likely being Weaved on W'nai Beta. Transmitting more information as to the specifics of your species may help facilitate this process.

It seems the demand for such remedies is far more staggering than we had first assumed.

>>53357062
We wish to deposit a planet of industrial era reptilians, and the Duke would be most pleased if your state would consider taking them.

Hello ev-ary sentient! Iz a goodie-good dayz to be a partz of da Federation, Iz not?

>>53357115
Study of what the Selarian Clerics refer to as the "Universal Seed" has provided stunning revelations, which the Weavers and even Great Balance are working as they have never worked before to incorporate. There is one further planet in our system that is suitable for colonization, designation W'nai Theta. A suitable Balance will be established for habitation in short order, the end goal being habitation by as many different species as possible. The reptilians would find a more than suitable home there.

What does this term "industrial" mean? Our translators cannot provide an accurate rendition.

>>53357165
It's an excellent day on W'nai Prime. How goes your planet?

>>53357184
Vorgeen do greatz! Da shipy-yardz iz busy-buis wit all da ordahs that keeps comin's. All day warz maybe badz for peace, buts Iz greatz fora da building and profits!

>>53357184
To describe them, they live in overcrowded and dirty cities chocked with smoke bellowed forth from primitive factories. That is their current frame of technology, a time we once went through ourselves, industrial.

>>53357344
It is good that there are those in the Federation who are capable of producing what is required. Hopefully peace will come in short order, but it seems unlikely given the number of hostile species in the greater Galaxy.

>>53357364
!
We must work to remedy this situation as quickly as possible. We have heard rumors of planets that have been greatly afflicted by the processes of creation that are Divergent from our own, and the consequences this has on the species inhabiting them.

We would ask that they would abandon these processes to prevent a duplicate destruction. If they find our methods of creation unsuitable, perhaps Federation tutors can enlighten them on alternatives?

What is the total population that requires relocation?

>>53357437
They number entirely at 10 million entirely. We desire them all to be re-located

>>53357483
An environment capable of supporting that staggering figure would have taken 1,000 years to generate, but with the modifications made to the Universal Seed, we can accomplish this in 10 standard years. The miracle provided to us by the Clerics cannot be understated. We will repay their generosity by providing anything those who have been displaced may require.

>>53357562
The question stands, do you wish for Rok authorities to begin the process of departure, or should we wait a while longer? Perhaps your clergy wish to visit the world.

>>53357600
It is not our clergy, please reference the communication logs above. Between our people and the Selerian Clerics for further information.

Send them immediately. Suitable housing will be found on W'nai Beta-1, and W'nai Beta-2 while the Weaving and Balance of W'nai Theta is generated. There is no need for them to suffer any further.

>>53357648
We shall begin the process post haste,a rn we guarantee their safe passage under the protection of the 5th Flock under Admiral Feathers of Grey

>>53357706
Are these reptilians represented by an actual person?

>>53357853
i have never seen someone representing primitively lizards as of yet

>>53357648
If any assistance is required for this we will happily lend our support.

>>53357920
Noted, I won't speak for their experience on the planet then.

>>53357962
Noted, any further assistance required will be provided by us

>>53357960
Any tutors or people of learning to instruct them would be most welcome. We have found ours to be rather lacking by comparison to most, so I suppose our people could benefit as well. All the better if these were to move on to W'nai Theta when it has completed development.

It has been our most ambitious project to date, and it is our fervent hope that it will one day be a viable capital of the Federation in some capacity, as there has been no other prospects listed for such a thing to date; saving any transmissions we may have missed.

The exchange of fair value has been with our people for some time, but the intricacies of galactic trade which would be required to support the construction of orbital facilities suitable for docking of ships which are far, far larger than our shuttles are beyond us currently. I will outline the details of the proposal at the next Galactic summit.

>>53358066
Do note we are of one mind but we can fill this role if need be, and as such we have little need for major trade are only commodity is our military and our bioengineering and we offer these in exchange for research and information as those are our only needs.

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>>53357960
Any way to speed up the process and ensure a safe and happy transition is most welcome

>>53358264
We could speed it up by 5 years time but it would be expensive as the method is complicated and we have few in reserve after the last major conflict.

>>53358308
Then any help that can be given without taxing yourselves further is most welcome

>>53358367
It's not ourselves that is the problem the creation of a Deep Child required large sums of biomass and as you can imagine acquiring said biomass is not an easy process under federation guidelines.

>>53358414
Well perhaps we can assist in that situation, as we merely have association status with the Federation rather than membership

>>53358471
If you insist we shall provide a shell that is around the size of a small asteroid, if you can fill it with are biomass (we won't ask were you acquired it) then we can cunstruct a Deep Child this will be used to push the terreforming process forward by 5 years.

>>53358656
We shall procure the required biomass as fast as possible, the means by which we procure it to remain secret

>>53358769
Once this is done we will provide you with a Deep Child that has already been created to save on time as the creation process takes about as long as the terraforming this is just to recoup our losses.

>>53358974
This seems fair to us, on behalf of the Dukedom and all her feather bound children we accept.