How do you keep everyone in your play group happy?

>>53282154
Suck 'em off beneath the table. Why, how do you do it?

>>53282186
Came here to post this

>>53282154
>How do you keep everyone in your play group happy?
General consensus seems to be kick out everyone who's unhappy, until you're left with a perfect utopia group.

You give them slaves, power, and money.

It's simple, I just have to pander to my brainy friend's elaborate plans and thoughtful loopholes, my cocky friend's insatiable ego, my curious friend's borderline autistic fascination with mysteries, my hyper friend's lust for combat and warfare, and the brainy friend's girlfriend's "I'm here to have fun and if something bad happens I won't be having fun" mentality, all while making sure I get to be creative, morally ambiguous, and deep enough with my storytelling to sate my needs from DMing.

So it's fucking impossible.

>>53282579
This. I've recently kicked all of my players and only now do I realize the true joy of solitude.
It gives me a lot more time to masturbate.

>>53282154
Everybody is friends outside of the group, so it works. It helps that they're all pretty chill and are more about having a good time together than anything else.

>>53282946
>sate my needs from DMing
It's the easiest one to drop, and you know it.

>>53283104
Is it easy to drop? Sure, yeah. But is it so wrong to want to enjoy it as well?

>>53282154
By shitstomping eachother with no remorse until we end up with a paranoid four way of a cold war in which the first person to be looking to consider 'nuclear options' gets gangbanged out of existence.

>>53282946
Sounds like you need to run numenera

>>53282978
It's comfy, isn't it?

I don't, I just make sure that they're all equally miserable.

I kick out all grognards and THAT guy's.

>>53286039
10/10, would play a communist setting and blame it all on reactionists and foreign spies.

>>53282154
Find out what they want, and give it to them without cutting out what others want.

>>53282154
Give the scalefag a loyal, caring dragonfu, and the autist plenty of chances for his strictly combat character to annihilate foes, while subtly coaxing them along the tracks.

>>53283201
Multiplayer EDH?

>>53282154
Give the scalefag a loyal, caring dragonfu, and the autist plenty of chances for his strictly combat character to annihilate foes, while subtly coaxing them along the tracks.

>>53283201
Multiplayer EDH?