Dwarf Fortress Stories

>>53266149
Honestly, my best is from the late 0.3x line.

A titan came and fought a siege, and got stuck in my dry moat. From which it continued to kick goblins in the face for 3 more years, before it finally got killed.

>>53266149

Our last ruler was a Queen by the name of Dodok Rackrises, and she worshiped Dwarf Gods, lived a Dwarf Lifestyle, and died fighting in a war against other Goblins. This queen was by all means a dwarf in a goblin's body, and as I looked back, The Guild of Tomes had been ruled by NOTHING but Goblins since around year 40, and even before that they would occasionally get a goblin or two popping up as a noble here and there.

I learned that this was because Goblins had been openly assimilated into The Guild way early back, like the second fort they ever built was made half out of local goblin refugees that got their shit beat in by a mythical beast that was just north of where The Guild lived, and it seemed that they welcomed them with open arms and taught them to be proper dwarven citizens. I assume it was easy because for some reason The Guild has some pretty nasty gods, the main one actually being Ugath, The Goddess of Blight.

Anyway, The Gods must have really felt pissy about the whole Dwarves and Goblins living together thing, because they weren't having any of that. To the north of The Guild was the likes of this Fox Demon, who was essentially a kitsune named "Ost Cavedungeons The Poisoned Bewilderment" She had ribs that were on the outside of her body and long curly hair that would bite people and leave them with a festering poison. She was the first one that got called up and told that this Dwarf and Goblin commune wasn't going to work out.

There is a Dwarven Goddess of Lies named "Zotir the Web of Sin" that just showed up at Ost's tower one day and told her that she would grant The Demon immortality if she would go into the underworld and bring back an army to go and attack The Guild. Of course she accepted and she was given a giant slab with the secrets of immortality written on it, and that slab was called "The Lost Seer" which matches her home pretty well because her own fort was named "The Lost Tower"

Cont.

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>>53266250

Soon enough Ost sent herself all the way down into The Underworld and came back out with this army of Giant Rats, and immediately came down and beat the living hell out of the fort that The Guild had just made and took in all The Goblins with.

So the refugees from that annihilated fort ended out moving back south and founding another town that was way over a mountain range so it'd be a bit of a bother for The Fox Demon to come over and rat blast their town all over again. Now what happened next was that there was a mystical beast that was rampaging quite a ways south of the new city, and strangely enough it was a Cavy Monster named "Zutshosh Owlperplex the Sin of Wisps" Now I didn't know what a Cavy was when I first read into this lore, but as it turns out:

A Cavy is a Guinea Pig.

So there's this giant guinea pig that's covered in feathers for some reason, spending all his days devouring human villages on The Southern Peninsula, and there's just nothing anyone can do about it. So because of this excellent killing ability, Fimshel The Dwarven God of War himself comes down and grants that monster vermin sentience, and then gives him his own slab that has the secrets of immortality on it. Zutshosh is the biggest bastard that's ever walked The Guild's lands, and has killed more of its citizens than any other monsters in the underworld armies combined. He somehow summoned up an army of Jabberers from the underworld, which are like these giant bald birds that fuck you up if you get near them, and went on a full scale rampage the likes of which had an entire nation of Dwarves on their knees within a ten year period.

Mountains didn't stop this pig, he tore through all the way to the capital of The Guild, smashed it to bits, and then went around making sure that every settlement they founded after got the hell beat out of it immediately after founding. The Dwarves went through Kings and Queens like hot cakes.

Cont.

>>53266328

The Guild would start out its season with one Queen, and by the end of the year it would go through five different crown switches until finally, after mountains upon mountains of dead dwarves had been given up in the name of gods just hating all that species mixing business, there was only Goblins left. They had killed everything else, and now only the likes of simple goblin folk that had been naturalized into Dwarven Citizens remained, and once their dwarf teachers were gone, they kept on acting like them even though they were only greenskns.

Apparently, The Demons and Beasts decided that it was okay to let The Goblins live now because they were no longer actually mixing with dwarves, considering that they were pretty much nomads at this point because every fort they once had was a pile of gnawed rubble. They treated the other dwarves around them as if they were still brothers and sisters, because apparently no matter how many dwarves are in a nation,when the game says it's been founded as a Dwarf Nation that's what it's staying as. So in this, they considered other Goblins their enemies, and went to war with them incessantly. I don't know if it's that they wanted to reconquer some land that had been settled by Goblin Hordes, or if they were just enemies by proxy, but The Guild's end actually came them by the hands of other Goblins.

As for The Demons they just stopped attacking, and in fact they both reached into their Underworld Portals one last time and both pulled out a dragon of their own to sit around and protect their slabs of immortality. Those monsters are currently still hanging out in The Underworld, maybe looking for their next giant army of creatures to start punching The Guild's face in whenever they cross the "No Race Mixing" line again. They haven't been seen for around 20 years now.

Cont.

>>53266149
I had a cool moment recently during a goblin siege

> Fort is a walled artificial island created in the fork of two rivers
> Goblin siege force about 110 strong shows up
> Population at the time is around 60 dwarves, ~18 of which are military-trained
> Fuck that shit raise the drawbridges and wait
> Notice afterwards that one spearlord got stuck in a tree and didn't make it inside
> Literally nothing I can do to rescue him before the goblins reach him
> Makes heroic last stand in the top of a tree, taking down five goblins and a troll before going down

After the goblins left I recovered his body and built him a statue made from the melted-down remains of captured goblin weapons and armour.

>>53266411
>cont
LIAR

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>>53266411
The last nail in the coffin was this one Goblin, who killed three generations of Goblin Monarchs with a Crossbow all by himself.

His name was Zolak Manymalign, and he lived in the little village of Girderwalled, which was a Goblin Village that had been responsible for minor raids on The Guild before they totally fell apart, nothing too serious. He was a Marksman early in his life, but he retired from that, got married, and became a carpenter.

At least, he was retired until The Guild started showing up and attacking his village.

He took back up his crossbow and ended out shooting The Goblin King Asmel by shooting him right in the chest during the first siege of the village, then during the second he shot King Olin multiple times in the limbs until he was brought down, then he mounted his head up on a Bronze Spike outside the village, and lastly he killed The Queen Dodok pretty savagely, he shot her in the leg, then he went up and he stabbed her in the mouth until she died. He apparently was a pretty weird guy when it came to killing, and later on when his little goblin nation went to war he killed seven human women.

He had five daughters and one son before he died at the hands of Kir Deepplaited in the year 121. By that time Zolak had to be at least 80 or 90.

His son Olngo Hatescrapped went on to become a Fisherman, then a Dancer, then a Scholar, and retained his father's bowmanship skills all the while. He's currently traveling crossed the desert on search of another scholar to mentor him. The last time he was seen was in a human desert town named Spiderysigned, where he ended out killing nine men after being denied an apprenticeship.

Ironically enough the people living in Spiderysigned are vassals of Zutshosh, and that means The Guild and Olngo share a common enemy now. Maybe he'll show up at one of my libraries, I'd be more than happy to have him.

>>53266718
I MAKE NO LIES

>>53266738
10/10. Only in DF we can find such cheerful insanity.

But so, you basically revived a four decades dead nation that was wiped off the map by a spooky kitsune and a giant guinea pig?
Do you think they'll come back to try and wipe out the new Guild of Tomes?

I'm just waiting for the quest update to cone out

And likely be bugged to shit but I can finally send dwarves to steal all the artifacts and have a grand vault museum

>>53268472
Pretty much, didn't look over the history when I first began either.
I immediately started a library and took in loads of human scholars.
I expect any day now they'll pop out of The Underworld and go: "LOOK WHO NEEDS TO GET RE-SEGREGATED"

So what you are telling me is that dwarf fort is not politically correct?

>>53268761
>goblins as a race form civilizations that prey on others, and delight in causing pain and suffering
>elves are zealous uncompromising guardians of nature that butcher and eat sentient beings

You tell me

Just recently I had a fort fall into a loyalty cascade.

You see, one of my previous forts had fallen to werecoati infection, so I got a werecoati wood burner in one of my migrant waves. She was already turned as she entered from the map edge, and killed two people.

Naturally, I slammed up the drawbridges and waited her out until she turned into a dwarf again. I tried to have my marksdwarves snipe her from the wall, but the couldn't path into line of sight.

Whatever, I'll just let her in and kill her.

Except I couldn't give the kill order to anyone except the snipers. Oh well, they'll handle her.

Big mistake.

See, once they turn dwarf again, your guys don't recognize that they are night creatures. If you aggress them in melee before they turn, you're good.

If you don't, people think your soldiers are starting a civil war.

So basically everyone started killing each other. Including the children.

Especially the children.

I'm currently being a phone posting faggot but the images are still up on reddit

>>53268612
That's fucking cool. Also it makes me realize how much of a noob I am on DF, I never knew anything like that was possible (reviving dead nations and stuff).

But it would be terribly FUN if these demons got back.

Btw any tips on how to improve the fun factor of my forts? I basically mastered the craft of making stable, very defensive and kinda plain forts. At least until I dig up some forgotten beast and it ruins everything, so I also stopped digging too deep.

>>53269025
Well I usually go find my forts in Adventure Mode and go slay whatever is nearby. As I'm exploring around in Adventure Mode though, I'm starting to realize that RIVERS SUCK
So I'm gonna make forts that emphasize global usage like Bridge Forts and Military Forts right next to high level targets.

I'm sure it'll be fun.

>>53269017
Oh damn.
Were-creatures are the worst.
I've had whole civs ruined by them because they stick in migration waves.
The only way to get rid of them is crossbows and absolute isolation chambers.

Or just wall them up forever in a confinement room, I do that sometimes.

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>>53268559
>And likely be full of !!features!! and shit
Fixed that for you

Any ideas for non-meat living?
I'm debating embarking in a Terrifying area and was thinking about setting up shop in a wholly isolated underground fort, aqueducts carrying water to the main halls and everything.

Are Plump Helmets just the way to go all around?

>>53270005
You can live on nothing but Plump Helmets, and it's simple matter to grow more than you'll ever need on only a bit of dirt.

For the sake of variety though it's best to have one plot of plump helmets and another couple plots rotating sweet pods, cave wheat and pigtails.

>>53270005
Plump helmets are miracle food
You can last forever off of plump helmets

>>53270057
Rotation sounds wise.

>>53270063
Yeah I thought so.
My only issue with that is that I usually just set my Brew option to just repeat, and I fear that if I do that, and have my kitchen cooking Plump Helmets at the same time that I'll eventually run out for real.

Maybe I should just grow Pig Tails and use those for Alcohol.

>>53270095
Don't cook the helmets.

And just set up a work order to make more booze when you're low.

>>53270095
This is why I always grow cave wheat/sweet pods to brew and don't brew plump helmets.

>>53270005
I like to grow lots of aboveground crops, digging a hole and covering it with floors works fine