DnD player rant

>>53254083
>I played an online game with children and it wasn't very fun because they were immature

That was a pretty interesting story, OP.

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>>53254155
>Implying OP played the game with the kids or that the kids stayed
>Doesn't read the fucking greentext properly

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>Player keeps complaining that the sessions are taking too long at fucking 1 hour mark, while DM usually makes them 3-4 hours ling, and constantly tries to make shit go faster, turning the game into mindless dicefest without a semblance of a story
>See DM getting a bit fed up with that
>Make it my mission to slow down the game as much as possible, taking my sweet ass time examining buildings, askung questions about irrelevant shit like what color if stone are the castle walls, chatting to civilians, etc.
>Can see mr. Speedypants getting more and more angry
And moral of this story is simple, if you're an ADD fuck that can't stay on his ass for more than 10 minutes, don't sign up for this shit

Also I'll gladly take more ideas on how to slow the game down.

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>>53254335
Have him get poisoned with a slow-process poison as karma.

>>53254335
Want to hear a crazy thing. My brother is one of my players and he legit has ADHD. He likes to take his sweet ass time to do anything in the game. Mind you he sometimes blathers about non game stuff in the middle of a monent. Helps that we are related so I can just call him a cunt and to pay attention.

>>53254083
But... Selkirs can have legs and travel on land. They don't like it over long times, and will rush to the waters at the first chance they get, but they can take on a more human form

>>53256398
Selkies, stupid autocorrect.

>>53256398
The pictures and reference they used were all selkies without legs lmao

But that's beyond the point, you can't be a selkie for purely land-travel adventures. You may as well just have a more humanoid race at that point rather than a fucking selkie.

>>53254155
I played a meatspace MLP game years back with my sister.

Best fucking game I ever ran. Kids who genuinely want to play a tabletop game are awesome.

>>53256398
>>53257007

I have to admit that the the idea of a selkie travelling inland sound like a good story opportunity to me. perhaps they are currently stuck as humanoid and are looking for their long lost sealskin, following the trail of the person who stole it away from them even if it takes them groaning and cursing into the dry and dusty heart of the continent

>>53254335

I was chatting to a guy about RPGS, he asked how long a session was, I said ours were about 3-4 hours long. He was shocked at how long that was in a wow that must be boring way.

He'd of course spent most of the day playing Doom...

Still I find players want to play less and less which saddens me.
Part of me does wish I'd have been able to play before video games , smart phones, the ubiquitous nature of the internet and the death of attention.

>>53259606
We gonna ignore about how just weird they are? Like I get that alot of D&D races can make no sense, but there's a limit to how weird they get.

>>53254293
>complains about others having poor reading comprehension
>he himself has poor reading comprehension
OP said the events happened before his current campaign, not that they occurred before he joined the group. You should have been able to understand that by his use of the word "we" to describe events within that campaign.

>>53254083
>guy rolls nothing above a 5 for a single combat
>doesn't even lose half his total health
>rolls another 4
>picks up his d20 and literally throws it at the nearest wall with all his strength
>says something along the lines of "that's what you get for fucking me"
>we stop for a few minutes to "let him find his d20"
>really we're just waiting for him to cool off
>finish combat
>go home
>that campaign suddenly ends because the DM is "burnt out"
>we start up a new game without him

>>53259606
This is a fucking great idea, Anon. If the dude role plays properly you could have him diving into moats and open sewers, irrigation channels and fountains, desperate to wet his skin.

>>53254335
>>53260814
I run and play sessions with my group that are 6-8 hours long every week. We only stop because we are fighting sleep and have work the next morning.

I don't get people not wanting to play a fuck ton if everyone is having a good time. Don't play the game if you aren't going to well. Play the fucking game.

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>>53260814
OP here.

Just finished a 2nd session of this new campaign with the same people I had a good time with in the story.

So here's a new one of pretty much what happened:


>My bara amazonian futa woman spars with a half-orc and falls unconscious
>The tiefling monk captain gets angry
>My 2nd rogue calls him 'red face'
>The captain bites him and rogue falls unconscious
>We eat breakfast
>Our 1st Wizard gets showered in blood from our dwarf fighter that suffers a harpoon through the chest (RIP)
>A shot ton of goblins attack in black ships with magical sea turtles moving them
>Our high elf fighter gets decapitated
>A wild old sea hag appears
>Our 'cargo' we were supposed to protect is now being kidnapped
>Goodbye sweet Undine prince
>The boat is sinking
>We get onto the lifeboats
>There's a horse on the fucking lifeboat
>The sea is Dire Shark waters so we're double fucked
>Everyone is freaking out
>The captain stun fists the horse breaks it's legs
>The horse is eaten by dire sharks
>I roll a nat 20 +6 bonus
>Rows the boat the fuck away as 6 more sharks surface to eat the horse
>My character has a breakdown
>They're debating about meeting the Undine empress (the prince's mother) or not to let her know her only son was taken by pirates
>My character has PTSD flashbacks about her dead child and lets the half-orc row instead
>The half-orc rolls a nat 20 +4
>The session ends as everyone is fucked up emotionally

tl;dr:

>Everyone fucking died, the ship is gone, and we lost an Undine prince to pirates.