What is the most bullshit roll you've ever seen, /tg/?

>>53228459
rolling for Initiative.
>a total of 6d10 rolls on the table
>4 1's , 2 2's

on the other hand, we have that kind of bullshit almost every session

Every role that has plot significance

My last game I failed to roll anything above a 5.
I missed every attack, broke my weapon, ate every spell and then got arrested for something I didn't do.

3 natural 20 in a row...by the GM.

>>53228459
How would you react in this situation?

God, I hate francis so much.

>>53228459
Wasn't _a_ roll, was a local 40k tournament long long ago where I "won" a game by basically making every roll and my opponent failing everything. We chalked it up as a draw, it was just bullshit.
I think that was the same night that virus grenades got banned. Round one, virus, 90% or so of other army instadies... at least it was in round one so they had time to restart.

>>53228779
good to know darling

>>53228770
I almost killed the PCs this way the second session. A pack of wolves attacked them. The party tank went down in the first round.

>>53228459
4 consecutive 0's on damage in WH 2ed. I one-shoted a vampire that was mini boss of the campaign before she could deliver her boasting speech.
>You puny humans, how dare you BLAM!FIREBALLS!
Good times

>>53228779
He's an annoying fat fuck who I can't manage to muster sympathy for, but in all fairness that footage from the gif is staged I thought.

>>53228459
After three unsuccessful attacks with a chainsaw against a werewolf, the player got very angry and decided to ditch it b throwing it at him

The dice exploded enough for him to get a crit and lodge the chainsaw in the werewolf. It got ruled that since it kept cutting him, the werewolf couldn't regenerate. Then he jumps on him, dodges a 12 die grab somehow and brings the chainsaw down with 8 successes from 6 dice.

There goes the game of cat and mouse.

>>53228779
>>53228830
All the Francis videos are satire.

>>53228932
This. The guy himself seems okay. It's funny that he had to make a video where he had to explain that Francis was just a joke though.

>>53228932
He's degenerate anyway. Not for long without obamacare, though.

>>53228459
Oh man, my roll in death watch
>be me, tactical space wolf
>bolter master and witch bolts
>Chaos cult has rocked up to fuck with our fun
>roll lowest initiative on the table
>our devastator kills 20 cultists with 10 bullets
>unrelenting devastation ftw
>nek minuet a mother fuckering Tzeentch Defiler scuttles in
>my first turn is to shoot is just for a distraction while the rest of the kill squad gets to the tank
>shoot it with witch bolts, with all the extra D10's which bolts gave me
>witch bolts give an extra D10 of damage for every psy rating
>roll 7D10+5
>every single dice is a 10
>3 of the dice confirm righteous fury
>total damage 98 pen 5
>accidentally one shot a tank as a distraction
>table explodes in laughter
>just like the defiler

The first session of a friend's first game and a wolf crits his squishy halfling rogue and insta-kills him.

DM rolled two nat 20's.

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I DM WFRP 2nd Ed game for 3 guys.

Everytime they meet female NPC they each roll d10 to see how attractive this NPC appears to their characters. It's their idea, i didn't mind, not that its going to influence the game or so i thought.

At the start of the second campaign they encountered mad Witch Hunter who was getting ready to burn innocent Apprentice Jade Sorceress who was actually possessed by minor Tzeentch demon.

They rolled three tens in a row, proceed to kill the Witch Hunter and went out of their way to make her their follower.

The demon continued to influence her, eventually took over and turned into sort of campaign's BBG by opening warp portal and summoning demons on their asses.

It was great game.

Whilst at a wargaming convention with my step brother he managed to roll 21 (Twenty-one!!!!) 1's all on separate dice... at the same time. He rolled 21 dice. ALL OF THEM 1's.

>>53229199
What are the odds of that?

Like, mathematically, what are the actual odds?

>>53229207
The same as rolling any other combination.

>>53229207
depends on how many sides the dice has, assuming its a D20 then its 21^20

>>53228770
Yeah that was bullshit brent

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D&D 3.5, way back, probably in high school.

I was playing an Aasimar bard and we were in a tomb in Waterdeep. We almost got out, when right before the exit we were attacked by an Allip. Whiyh is a shadow-like undead. We were very low level, so the creature really messed us up. The thing is, Allips instantly die in sunlight, and Aasimars had the Daylight as a spell like ability in 3.5. Except I didn't know that cause I rolled a natural 1 on Bardic knowledge about it.

So it fucking killed me.

I'm still mad.

>>53229223
it was d6s

Don't know if it was bullshit, but Dm'ing my last session, I was just rolling terribly.

>Only War, party are ambushed in an agricultural township
>Heavy Weapons team on roof of the Town Hall
>Party transport crashes, people get out, get in cover in a house by the road
>Commissar decides to storm the house along with 6 noble guard NPCs
>Everyone rolls <10 on Fear-tests, blindly follow him
>Storm across open ground
>Heavy Weapon team misses
>Hidden Sniper on the Grain Silo misses
>Clear Town Hall, about to storm roof
>Heavy Stubber braced and ready
>1 PC comes up stairs
>Hvy. Weapon team fires
>99, Heavy Stubber jammed
>PC and 3 NPCs zergrush Hvy. Weapon team, kill them /w grenade and melee
>Sniper on the grain silo finally has sweet targets at close range
>Called Shot to the head of the PC
>Thing thing cannot miss
>97, jam.

They went through an 18-man platoon of hostile NPCs with 4 PCs and and 3 NPCs (each with a comrade in cohesion)

The stormtrooper took 5 damage, and one of the NPCs very nearly bled out. No one else even got hurt.

A character rolled 5 20s in a row during combat.

Then he rolled double 20s in a roll that had advantage trying to break down a door.

>>53228459
Any game of Mordheim: CotD

When you keep rolling 80+, a dozen times in a row, something seems off.

some guy rolled 7 ones in a row in our silver tower group

>>53228459
Halfling with advantage and using luck -> 1 reroll 1 reroll 1, second roll 1 reroll 1 reroll 1.

>>53229645
The third luck point gave a 4 or something

>>53229320
The Daylight spell doesn't count as actual sunlight, never has.

>>53229346
Then the chance was (1/6)^21. Approximately 15 zeros following the decimal...pretty impressive

>>53229218
Only if you keep track of dice, which neither the game nor the players do.

>>53228459
>5e, Druid in bear form, attacking entangled enemy:
>Bite: roll 3 and 3, misses
>Claws: roll 2 and 2, misses
>what a productive turn
>Opponent gets up, attacks: 20 and 20, confirms with 18 and 18
>max damage, knocks me out of the wildshape

This was fucking ridiculous.

>>53229199
Why did you repeat 21?

> me
> rapier wielding noble.
> they
> bunch of zombies. Can hit me only on 18+ roll

"Stand back, i dispatch this thugs like they are nothing."
6 20 on d20.
"Aaaahhhh"

>>53228459
Had a fucking boss enemy roll 4's on 2d6 over and over and over for about six rounds of what should have been mortal combat.

>>53229751
>confirms

What?

>>53229793
Houserule.

>>53228459
>Playing anima
>Player activates teleport, he succeeds without rolling basically
>But needs to see if he gets it higher, chance of failure 3%
>2.
>100 on the roll for the failure
>He ends up passed out 5 fucking days

>>53228819
In that situation it is ok to fudge the rolls as the GM.

>>53229801
Truly you and your DM are faggots

>>53228770
I got three nat 1's during one of my first GM'ing sessions. Luckily the PCs were fighting against intentional jobbers. I fluffed it as them throwing their swords en-masse at the party, as an attempt to use "advanced unorthodox tactics".

>>53229218
No. That's not true. When rolling 2d6, for example, the chances of rolling a total of 2 is 1 in 36. The chance of rolling a 7 is 6 in 36, or 1 in 6.

The chances of rolling 21 with 21d6 is 1 in several billions. It's a really large number.

>>53229751
>5e
>confirming crits

you what

>>53228982
Can /pol/ please just go and stay in their fucking containment board please. Stop shitting up this hobby.

>>53229824
I rolled in the open.
Anyway, I always have a plan against TPK. At that time there were retreating soldiers in the forest, so they could show up before they were eaten by the wolves. Someone would probably lose something, but they would stay alive.

>>53229904
>REEEE DONT HAVE DIFFERENT OPINIONS

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>>53228459
My table runs with crit success/fail on skill checks because our games are unadulterated cheese.

At one point we had to try and convince the ruler of a city of mages to help up fight the guy who's trying to end the world. Problem is that there have been time shenanigans this campaign, so to the king this guy hadn't actually done anything particularly alarming until the day before, where he BTFO'd the elf capital.

So the party face is trying to convince the ruler to give us a hand, and the DM has him roll a speech check.

>nat 20
>"OK damn that's impressive. So King opposes..."
>nat 1
>"well fuck"

>city goes from 'business as normal' to 'total war footing' in about a day
>every able bodied man and woman are drafted into the army
>the people who aren't able bodied are given enough enchanted equipment until it doesn't matter and then also drafted
>the small-time cult brewing in the city's homeless population is placed under direct command of the party minotaur, as he's their deity
>cult is given magic equipment out the ass, basically all high level elite soldiers now

We're still probably going to lose unless we can get the dwarves and orcs to pull their heads out of their collective asses and stop killing one another, but it's nice to have a victory every now and then.

>>53228761
We had a player introduce his new character, an egotistical sellsword. He offered to be hired by us for combat duties.
After failing to lie about something irrelevant as the first thing he said, we eventually took him with us anyway.
Come combat, he failed every attack, hurting us more than helping. It got to the point he only took dodge actions, as he figured it was more useful than attacking.

>53229824
It's never okay to "fudge" rolls. You pantywaisted faggot.

>>53228525

>3.0
>Epic levels
>BBEG, major demon, DR and SR over the charts
>We did some damage but overall he's wiping the floor with our asses
>Be transmute epic wizard
>Cast shapechange, turn into something ethereal
>Fly inside BBEG
>Shapechange into something big while inside BBEG
>Both BBEG and wizard take massive amount of damage
>DM instructs wizard roll 40d6
>Wizard is quite tanky, currently standing on 213 HP, should withstand easily the 140ish damage
> Dices are rolled, total comes up at 209
>WTF

>>53228459
In a Battletech tournament a guy rolled a 12 to hit, 12 hit location (head), and 12 critical (limb blown off) on the same shot. Those are three 12s on 2d6 in a row.... In the first shot of the game at long range the dude droped a 85 ton Battlemaster with a decapitation.

mordheim only uses d6s how did you get 80s?

>>53229634
This. The AI gets 5 crits on <7, and I can't climb a 75% wall for 3 turns.

Throwing a specific granade at phoenix command.

1-You throw an HG 78 granade to see if you hit (the granade not the sharpnel) a specific tile. Imagine you fail
2- Now you roll to see if you missed long or short (granade went to a tile between you and the tile you aimed or after the tile you aimed). The number you rolled with the the chance to hit, give the distance between the tile you aimed and the tile you hit. Imagine you hit the closest tile from the one you aimed.
3-Roll a 1d6 to find the tile around your aimed tile you hit. You find that there is someone at this tile.
4- 2000 sharpnels will hit this guy, thats 2000 times you will need to roll 1d1000 to see where you hit.
5-Imagine you hit a high-bone with all sharpnels, you go to the table to find the damage. Imagine the enemy has also no armor, your penetration the granade penetration value at this distance from the enemy is 2.6. At the game the high-bone table there is a part for hits with 2.3 penetration value and the next one is for hits with 4.0 penetration value. At this specific situation/table the game tell ther is a 80% chance the bullet will be deflected, so if you roll less than 8 in a (0-9 roll) so you find the damage using 2.3 pen and then go tigh flesh table with a pen of 0.3

So
1 1d100
2001 1d10
1 1d6
2000 1d1000

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>>53230107

>>53229904
>Stop shitting up this hobby.
Yes its the pol ones that are shitting gaming and tabletop gaming

>>53228459
Why are there multiple gifs of Boogie chimping out at WoW games? Shitty sore loser?

>>53230269
It's because he's a good actor! It's all staged!

>>53228459
The reason I never trust online dice. Adventurer quest on qst, 1d100. Rolling charisma checks to talk our way into a gang headquarters. MC weakling and two npc's. They have gathered almost everyone for an emergency meeting to talk about some unknown (us) party killing their guys. Literal hundreds of badass gangers in one place. Charisma bonuses out the ass for +20. First two anon rolls only.

Try convincing door guards we are from higher gang theirs reports to and to let us in for the meeting. Roll, nat 100 = 120cha

Guards take us inside but we tell them they can't just leave their post and to return to the door. Roll, nat 100 = 120cha

One guard leaves while other refuses to leave us so "they can vouch for us" and other security does not so shoot us. We start taking shit about their security training and order him to take us to the security control section. Roll, nat 100 = 120cha.

Get to security control room and talk to guards through bulletproof glass door. Fuck it. We go on rant about who we are and how shitty the security is. Command them to open the door for further inspection so we can bring it up to gang boss. Roll, nat 100 = 120cha.

They let us in with weapons drawn just in case. First guard leaves to report to boss that we are here. We order security to explain the entire security system of the hq and God help you if we find more problems. Roll, nat 100 = 120cha.

They tell us everything. Blast doors, fire control systems, remote mines and hidden turrets. We thank him, then shoot both guards and kill them in first round. Go to control console. Roll computer check, nat 100. Shut all blast doors, activate all turrets, remove fof registry. Watch from monitors as turrets and mines slaughter hundreds of panicking gangers.

Boss gangers fights his way to the control room and we confront him in the hall. He is bloodied and alone. Order him to give up locations of the gangers in rest of city for his life, or die here. Nat 100.

>>53228982
/pol/ die in a fire

>>53230269
Boogie has a character he plays named Francis which is your typical neckbeard autist turned up to 11.

The gifs of him freaking out are pretty much all staged with him acting as Francis.

>>53230330
Yeah, sure, because it's /pol/ that shits up the hobby, not people like boogie.

>>53229953
>that person should be killed just because
>"you shouldn't say things like that"
>autismo rage about 'free' speech

I guess you're lowly educated. It's allright, not everyone has the means to understand empathy.

>>53228770
This happened to me once, as the GM.
After the second crit, and everyone at the table cringing and losing their shit, someone shouted "Holy shit stop using that die". It had something of a reputation because when I was a player it tended to give me shit rolls, but once I took over DMing it liked to crit people.


So I got one off a player and rolled it for the final crit. Very nearly caused a TPK, after someone got carted off by a Cadaver Collector.

>>53230434
Where did I say that he should get killed?

>playing a game full roll players
>everyone is getting crits and confirming them left and right for months
>get 3 natural 20s one game
>roll 3 natural 1s to confirm

I do not know why the dice gods hate me.

>>53230392
My hobby is totally unaffected by other people playing their games in whatever way they wish. I play with people I want to play with. On the top of that, something lke 75% of the people on this board are more or less overseas from me so I really couldn't care less.

I'm just annoyed by alt-right retards pretending that their meme-ideology of unrealistic and unsensible policy propositions could function. The world would be a better place if all of them did like their junkie saviour herr hitler and shot themselves.

But it doesn't affect my hobby. Just the quality of random discussions on a tadzikistani hair-braiding board

>>53230230
The pol types are the only ones I have ever run into, probably because they are the only ones that really want you to know how they are totally not cucks. Meanwhile, the obvious SJW types do the normal human thing of playing games and avoiding the pol peacockery and if they do say something it must be to their friends or groups and not whoever the fuck will hear them.

>>53230481
Not providing things needed to stay alive is killing. Not providing food kills people, not providing water kills people, not providing healthcare kills people.

Combine this with
>He's degenerate anyway. Not for long without obamacare, though.

There is an implication

>>53230555
have you played with progressive types irl? we've had a GM make really awkward comments about misogyny & racism that were totally perceived rather than real, and it ruined the game and made it insanely uncomfortable for everyone trying to play

>>53230567
Oh, so if he's not able to buy food or support his lifestyle, he has to be fed and healed at the expense of other people?

>>53230590
his youtube channel brings in plenty of shekels, don't worry

>>53229885
While the different sums you can get have different probabilities, each combination of die results are equally likely to occur. There are simply more combinations that total certain numbers (like 7 with 2d6).

>>53230611
Then why does he care about it in the first place? I wouldn't dive a fuck about him if it wasn't his "gibe money now I'm poor and dying!".

>>53228459
Any combat rolls made by the Mentalist, in any session.
I and the other player watch him roll, like fucking HAWKS, and he still Open Rolls at least once on nearly every combat roll. And when those rolls are his Psychic Railgun attacks, things usually end up dead in one, unless they're a Damage Resistance creature.

>>53230627
I donno, because he's a fat greedy slob? It's hard to say.

>>53230590
>>53230611

Also, yes, he should be cared for if he can't buy food. What bizarre, malevolent world do you live in where people unable to afford food should be left to starve even though the state could support them?

>>53230668
>could support them?
Except it couldn't?

>>53230681

Again, what hellhole do you live in where the state can't support the poor?

>>53230689
Where is the state supposed to get money to support them? If he wants support, he can create a project on patreon or whatever, so he could get money only from people who want to give it to him, like you.

Rolling 24 4+ saves on my ard boyz back in 40k 5th ed

>>53230434
Nobody said he should be killed. People said he should suffer the consequences of his dreadful diet and lack of exercise. It's just that he's so fucking fat that those consequences could well be death. Are you fat?

>>53230668
i dont think feeding himself has been a particular struggle in his life so far

>>53230575
I have only played with "real" progressive types - the ones who live out in the middle of the country and care about the environment and standards of living, but are not solely focused on identity - but not someone who finds identity issues extremely important to themselves. I have a few friends online and off like that, but they don't play traditional games. But pretty much no matter what game it is I can go into a LGS or GW and frequently find a pol-type, especially after Obama got elected and even more so after Trump.

The closest thing that happened was someone saying they couldn't deal with vivid descriptions of the grotesque gore in a section of a campaign so we adjusted.

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>>53228459
I once rolled 186 on 5d6 with exploding die.

To resist a thermal detonator.

At point blank range.

That was used by our backstabbing shitlord that guy.

Who raged for over an hour about how it was impossible to survive a thermal detonator at point blank.

>mfw

Using an autogun in Dark Heresy 1e, against Orks. Standard ammo.
- First hit: Roll high damage. No damage to Ork.
- Second: Roll low
- Third: Can't really remember. No damage.
- Forth: RF. Roll so many 10s that the GM tells me to stop rolling, as I'd already rolled more than enough to take it from full health to 10+ critical damage.

GM was using a crit fail rule. Roll a nat 1* and it's a crit fail. For players this meant we just rerolled via fate points. But when an enemy got a nat 1 on its dodge roll, it knocked itself out on a nearby wall.

But nothing as bad as playing XCOM.


*Worst possible result in Dark Heresy.

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>>53230969
Righteous

>>53229667
Yeah, it even says that in the spell description

>>53230992
>*Worst possible result in Dark Heresy.
Wat. DH is d100 roll under. Nat 1 is the BEST possible result.

>>53228459
Rolled 4 Nat 20s in a row to completely ruin the day of an assassin that seriously pissed off my PC for murdering one of his close friends.

This was after said PC swore a blood oath to kill said assassin, so we joked that my dice took the oath very seriously.

That said, I found my d20 is very dramatic, and tends to roll a stupid amount of 20s and 1s whenever it would make things interesting or funny.

>>53231018
Oh yes, my bad. 100 is worst possible result, and that's what the NPC rolled.

Not sure how I fucked that up. Thanks for correcting me.

>>53230999
To rub it in his face the character specialized in riding blast waves after that.

Which surprisingly came in handy a lot.

>>53230230
>bring /pol/ shit into an unrelated thread
>get told to fuck off
>b-but SJWs!

Fuck off. This was supposed to actually be about /tg/ stuff and unlikely rolls, not yet more politics bullshit from either side.

>>53231161
Welcome to nu/tg/.

/pol/tards killed /tg/.

>>53230709
>Where is the state supposed to get money to support them?
Taxes.

>>53229824
>>53229908

This is why I've started to try and move away from player death when the story allows for it. It's boring and frustrating as shit.

Lot more interesting when defeat instead results in being taken prisoner and waking up separated in a dungeon somewhere miles off from your original goal.

Heroclix. 3 Double Six's in a row, punctuated just once by his opponent rolling a Double 1. It allowed a super naff team of Thunderbolts to annihilate Hydra Spiderwoman, Hydra Wolverine, and The Silver Samurai, all top tier clix. Added hilarity for them getting punched off of walkways and taking extra damage.

>>53230230

you actually are, though

Infinity tournament

I nearly get tabled my turn 1 (lose every f2f roll), so ok ive lost theres no salavging this. then my charontid Lt with hmg walks out into the open generating 4 aro's, i fire 1 shit at each, need 8 hit(and crit).
8
8
8
8

I still lost, but the look on my friends face was amazing. We started rolling the die just to make sure it wasnt some loaded die that found its way into the bin i bought it from

It was an old system called metascape.. it used d16s, where damage was on a table. if you rolled a 16, you moved up to the next table, and the next, ect. It was a sci fi setting, and the player pulled out a hold out laser pistol to shoot this cyborg that was attacking him. This player is one of those that would sit at home, and practice rolling dice so he could roll what he wanted.... he rolled like 13+ 16s in a row... By the rules, his hold out laser pistol entered into the "planetary scale damage" So.. I had it hit the moon and destroy it. The game ended shortly thereafter because he became extremely salty that he was now a wanted criminal for blowing up the moon, and causing most life on that planet to be destroyed. (Not that I cared about the game ending.. It got rid of him!)

>>53228821
My group's Bretonnian knight did similar to a Strigoi the group was fighting in a small side-quest.

>>53228459
Had a buddy that would always roll 1-5 if he said
> I attack the thing
> rolls 1
But if he described it over the top he would always succeed.
> I charge the thing doing a slide between its legs and standing up behind it to attack
> rolls 20

Without fail every time.

>>53229069
>witch bolts give an extra D10 of damage for every psy rating
But they don't. They shutdown psy ratings.

The probability of rolling a 20 twenty times in a row on a d20 is 5%

Prove me wrong.

>>53234467
No one cares that you don't understand statistics or probability.

>>53234467
Earth is flat, prove me wrong.

>>53234525
what if the earth is just a die with a lot of sides?

>>53228459
Ladies and gentlemen, that gif is an adult...

>>53234467
Rolling a particular number on a d20: 0.05
Rolling that same number twice: 0.05 x 0.05
Rolling that same number 20 times: 0.05^20
0.05^20 = 9.5x10^-27

QED.
1/10 for getting me to reply.

>>53234713
An adult actor, acting

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>>53230107

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>>53228459
>tfw rolled multiple crits in a row as a player
>third one goes by, get accused of cheating
>other players all try rolling my die for another crit to test it
>nothing out of the average
>roll again for next round
>crit on a 19 (19-20 crit range on weapon)
>kicked out of game for cheating

I just wanted to play a game and my dice fucked me over.

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Playing Curse of Strahd. Tried to plug Baba Lysaga's pie hole with a rock. *rolls* nat crit fail DM "make a con save" *rolls again* another fucking crit fail. I took all damage then took an insta kill from Finger of Death. She sends a fly swarm at the rest of the party. *TPK* remember guys if the DM says "Are you really sure" he's giving you a good warning to rethink you're decision. Needless to say we never played Curse of Strahd again.

>>53230011
did you still pay him?

1 on NPC sneak check, 3 20's for the players noticing him.

>>53234950
what the fuck

Dming deadlands classic and had a werewolf plot device character (the werewolf was actually another main characters nephew and they were supposed to subdue it and chain him down, thus leading to discovering the old man via his nephew when he woke up the next morning). First round and the priest shot him in the head with his rifle and ended up doing something retarded like 30 wounds, blowing his head clean off (if you're unfamiliar with the system, all dice can explode, so he kept rolling the dice over and over again). Had to completely come up with a new plot hook/adventure

>>53234591
And we're being hurled through space. Once day we shall collide with the great table and the result will be known.
42

>>53231180
>/pol/ killed /tg/
>Not the retards in every thread that shriek "Muh /pol/!" at everything they disagree with.

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>>53228932
This

Helping a new player make their D&D character for the game I was running.
>tfw they rolled 18 for three different stats
>tfw can't call bullshit because I was literally right there watching the rolls

>>53230555
/pol/ has not made several tabletob games and pnp rpg's. SJW-types have made several. They're much, much more prevalent on both /tg/ and real life.

>>53228459
>roll 30 Ork choppa attacks at WS4/3+ to hit
>28 misses
>3+ to wound
>zero wounds

Twice a game at least

>oppo needs double-6s to pen my dred's front armor
>rolls double 6s on turn 1

Also every single game

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Bullshit includes really good rolls too, right?
If so I got a couple from roll20.

>>53228459

In Only War, my character rolled a 1 on his Dodge test to avoid taking a crit to the face. Lacking Dodge training, he needed a 2 or below (d100) to succeed.

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>>53239511
Show of hand, who understood this reference?

>>53230269
It's Boogie "playing a character." In reality, he's probably done something similar and uses the Francis character as a way of saying, "You know I might be bad, but I'm not as bad as HIM!"

The episodes where it's him bitching his wife out? He's most likely done it with his hunger rages.

I run an l5r game, and for some reason my dice like to explode. A LOT. Running through an athletics contest, the opponent of our most atheltic player rolled about a 50 on average, making for a very salty loss.

On the flip side, that same player rolled 57 damage on one die after numerous explosions, with a dull axe, and killed a man with a single strike.

>>53228982
Thank God for that. He's a disgusting pig and deserves death. It's one thing to be overweight, it's another to be literal hamplanet

>>53232735
>you actually are, though

The only "/pol/ things" at tabletop rpg is fatal, the burzum rpg and rahowa

>>53228459
Once had the players fight some bums in a bar for a nWoD game. The players were fucking mages and this wasnt supposed to be hard. They were gonna have consequences afterwards for picking the fight but the fight itself was gonna be easy.

Then I rolled all tens in a four dice pool for damage. But hey he had some armor so that wasn't a lot of damage. Then I rolled all tens again. Then three tens and an eight.

In the end it was 17 damage. Lethal. Thankfully the group wasn't too autistic to laugh at the absurdity but a character who'd survived 68 hours of gameplay that ranged from fighting demigods to ancient horrors from before time got laid low by a guy named Ricky "Spit-Polish" O'Donavan and his broken beer bottle of destiny. The group ended up having to deal with an Irish death god to barter their buddies life back eventually.

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>>53229904
>Stop shitting up this hobby.
After you.

@53229904
A video of you https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yKIuj4n_8PQ
No (You)s for you.

>>53234950
Don't play games in vegas yo house always wins

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>>53228459
I was playing yugioh with my friend the other day. He played a monster every turn, putting it in a different spot every time. I destroyed each one with this card for 4 turns in a row.

>>53228459

Starting in Madagascar in pandemic

Had a boss fight in 5e where:

> One player crit on three turns in a row (3 crits over 6 attacks) and the guy had a weapon that did bonus damage on crits too...

>Didn't miss any one of the 12 attacks he made against a reasonably high AC monster

>The boss rolled close to max on his spell damages everytime.

>Cleric missed 6/6 scorching ray rolls, half of them with advantage.

>Cleric dropped to zero. Next turn he couldn't move out of a party members ongoing AOE effect, took a failure on his death saves, rolled a 1 for another two failed death saves and died.

> Bard dropped to zero and the very next turn rolled a 20, stood up, killed the boss with a vicious mockery when the boss could only fail on a 5 or less and the Bard needed to roll max damage.

>>53229751
What is confirming crits?

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In a game I was playing the party was out in the middle of nowhere and found themselves under attack by nuclear strike. They had less than a minute before detonation. Two of them teleported away, one went into an immobile but invulnerable form, but the last guy? He had nothing that would help him. So he ran. Now whenever we did something there were no rules for, our GM would decide our chances of success and let us roll percentiles, if we got above the number he decided, we succeeded. The GM told him he had no chance in hell but he let him roll.
We watched in shock as the motherfucker rolled 3 100S IN A ROW!
We then sat back as a normal man outran a nuclear explosion, emerging totally unharmed.

Party was trying to get into the rich section of a town and completely screwed up both in rolls and role-playing. Finally, the monk decides to try deception, arguing that the party (which had a rogue, paladin, sorceror, and cleric) were all member of his monastic order. Motherfucker got his 5%.

Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>53236608

>>53228770
Did this about four times as of today.
We have a rule that 3 nat 20s is a instakill.

I'm the DM, but I do open rolls. Eventually it got to the point where they just sighed "Again?"

>>53229824
no its not.
if the party dies the party dies.
do not fudge dice.

>>53231461
you know there is a mechanism for that.
its called, "Rolling up a new character."

>>53228770
Had this happen to me recently, we were fighting a big clanky guy, and not doing much damage to him. I earned his ire by casting some necromancy his way, and he preceded to 2KO me by way of two crits, and one more to the fighter right after for good measure. Funny thing, though; he then nat-1ed the rogue twice right after, losing his weapons and being killed shortly thereafter by him. Now the rogue just has one more reason to be a smug asshole.

>>53240452
A thing from D&D 3.5 (maybe older editions as well idk) where if you roll a crit, you have to roll again to "confirm" it, and if the second roll hits their AC then the crit happens, but if the confirm doesn't hit then the attack doesn't crit.

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DM'd my first session yesterday. I think it went pretty well, but the encounters were all scaled to get harder as they went on, with a final confrontation between a Bugbear Chief, Hobogoblin Captain, and 2 Dueregar. After decimating pretty much everything in the dungeon without too much trouble, this one turned into an absolute slug fest.
>Half-Orc Ranger slugging it out with bugbear
>Arificer desperately healing him
>Paladin got hit with a Nat 20, down
>Bard hiding like a bitch, repeatedly using Vicious Mockery on the Duregar trying to murk him
>Bugbear Crit, Half-Orc down
>Duregar Crit Fail, turn on Bugbear and Hobgob
>Artificer full healed Half-Orc, back up, Crits
>Bugbear down, Hobgob crits one attack and crit fails another
>Turns on Duregar
>Both loose weapons, Half-Orc breaks his weapon too
>Ends with an unarmed strike slugfest between everyone after everyone's weapons broke and about 6 Crits and 8 Crit fails
I don't know if I should be proud how I handled it since it was my first time or see it as a reason to do private rolls more often.

>>53240939
Your job as the GM isn't to kill your party, nor is it to memorize the rule book like a meat computer, you fucking mega aspie.

If one character dies because of infortinate rolls, that's fine. Shit happens. That's also a good reason to fudge the rolls a little from there on in that particular encounter so that his death doesn't feel pointless. Or, if it's apparent that you've miscalculated the difficulty of a particular battle, it's ok to say that the enemies failed when they really didn't, or to have something interfere with the battle that saves the party or gives them time to escape.

>>53242268

Not the guy you replied to, but what, a character should never die? Knowing you can die actually makes you roleplay rather than rollplay because the DM will never kill you. You should play like a dude that has one life. Without any risk of death or permanent setback, the game quickly becomes dull because there is no way to lose and no sense of tension when a character you like is in danger of dying, no roleplaying having lost a friend you braved many encounters with, etc. It's stale. TTRPGs are best played as a roguelike. Add a little risk to the game. Why the fuck do so many DMs seem so limpwristed and try to coddle the party and put them in what is essentially one big padded room?

>>53228459
So, pathfinder forceful strike, add 1d4/cl to your next melee attack as a swift. I rolled 10 1's. All my d4's came up singles. was unfortuneate in the extreme

>>53242390
>but what, a character should never die?
No. I suggest you read what I wrote again. I specifically wrote
>If one character dies because of infortinate rolls, that's fine
>that's fine

>>53242390
I'm with you. I'm tired of the current D&D player's mindset that has gotten so prevalent in current years and is shifting the game towards a ridiculous storytelling centric type of "game" that is nothing more than the illusion of gameplay and rolling nearly meaningless dice that can be handwaved away if it doesn't fit the story. I'm sick of players that I've DMed for metagaming ME and thinking that "there's no way the DM would make a really difficult encounter and actually kill us" and then throwing a tantrum when they die because I refuse to fudge the rolls in their favor because that's the style of game they've been used to and the only kind they know. Sometimes PCs die, and sometimes those deaths aren't the glorious deaths they thought they'd have and instead die miserably to a mundane enemy who got lucky.

If the threat of your character dying isn't there, why play at all? I've never once set out to intentionally kill the players, but when a situation arises that death is going to be an inevitability I won't hold back. Have I overestimated the party and thrown at them more than they could chew? Yes, but I've always let them have an out if they choose to take it (and most of the time they never do, because the new generation of players have a "fight to the death no matter what" mentality hardcoded into their minds). Artificial tension that modern DMs seem so fond of can fuck off. Fudging ultimately robs the players of far more than losing their character once in a blue moon.

But because I hold these beliefs, nu/tg/ will castrate me and call me a shit DM for not holding the cocks of my players while they take a piss.

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>>53242714
>that has gotten so prevalent in current years
It's literally always been a part of the hobby. What did you think Rule 0 was there for?

>>53228459
not a single roll, but i lost 23 armies against a single defender in risk
and i didn't get quebec

>>53229320
Feel better, the daylight spell wouldnt have saved you. >>53229320 >>53229667 these anons have the right of it.

I as a DM would have given you a temporary advantage for thinking on your feet, but it wouldnt have instantaneously died.

>>53229616
ha, thats brutal. still, wait for them to get cocky and the dive will even out, as will the PC's.

>>53229634
Y'know I never really had this problem.

I mean, probably cause I ran daemons and the only people climbing were the poison grenadier, the mutant, and the possessed who all had such bonuses as to never really fail.

Man, that game was fun... Just repetitive.

>>53242714
Eh, you sound kind of like an asshole on a mission. You do you in your game, but the whole nu tg thing makes me think you may be a stuck in your ways neckbeard who has trouble overcoming the idea that his fun time is not others fun time.

Personally I miss the level of content creation that used to happen on the regular, and turning the shit posts into actually decent discussions, so its not like I miss the rose tinted glasses either.

Anyway, my recommendation is setting the expectations of how you would like to run your game. Talk to the players, see what they are interested in, and if they dont fit your paradigm, let them know that, and they may have better luck elsewhere.

Or tell them tough titties.

Blaming their hangups on /tg/ though? Nah.

>>53228459
>What is the most bullshit roll you've ever seen, /tg/?

Having to use two fucking skills to sneak around.

>>53229966
>two rolls are enough to finish such a complex diplomatic encounter
>not understanding war at fucking all
>peasants allowed to wear/able to afford/fucking GIVEN arms and magical ones at that
>a PC has a cult and is a minotaur
>actually using the term 'party face'
>magic items matter more than martial training
>the races are unified to the point that 'dwarves' and 'orcs' is synonymous with the (only) respective nation of that species

Is 'cheese' a synonym for 'shit' in your language mayhaps? If I had the picture of that one Viper album I'd post it now, you know which one.

>>53230493
It's because you play 3pf. You fucking furry.

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>>53228459
My local"That Guy" making five 5+ daemon saves on his bloodslaughterers.

>>53228459
>Shadowrun
>hiding in an alley waiting for my target on a hit job
>suddenly the target walks into the alley, gun drawn, and asks my character what the fuck I'm doing
>flopsweat.btl
>"Uh... trash man"
>meanwhile my character is standing there in full street sammy battle rattle and no garbage truck in sight, without a weapon ready
>GM cranks up the difficulty level
>roll distressingly few dice for bluff check
>succeed anyway
>"oh ok"
>take him out with two shots to the back of the head after he turns around
>character was known as Trashman the rest of the campaign

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>>53243898
This one? Or did you mean "kill yourself my man"?

>>53243442
My fun was the gold standard back in the 80s when I first started and everyone damn sure had the same fun I had. There was a paradigm shift and it's day and night to any veteran players and DMs. The style of game that is normal now didn't exist back then and the hobby was better for it.

The guy playing a monk grabbed a white d20 and a black d20 and said offhand, 'Yin, and Yang, in perfect harmony', rolled them both and both came up 20

>>53244269
>The style of game that is normal now didn't exist back then
Yes, it did. You're either lying or you only ever played with autists until recently.

>"A DM only rolls the dice because of the noise they make." - Gary Gygax

Let my players roll for a mediocre magic item off a magic item table in the DMG for our mid-level campaign. Guy rolls a 100, gets flying boots and proceeds to wreck almost every encounter because of them.

>>53228982
But he pays more into the system than he receives.

>>53242714
>Yes, but I've always let them have an out if they choose to take it (and most of the time they never do, because the new generation of players have a "fight to the death no matter what" mentality hardcoded into their minds)

Have you talked to your players afterwards about it ? I find it resolves most of these situations

>>53228525
my players roll for initiative
>total of 4 d20 rolls
>3, 1, 3, 1
one of them rolls for the monk NPC that was with them
>3
meanwhile none of 6-ish gobbos that fought with them rolled below 15

>>53229207
>mathematically
1*(1/6)^20

2.74×10^(-16)
1/3656158440062976

>>53229679
Specifically, the odds of every single die coming up as a 1 is 1/(2.19*10^16). Assuming that guy was telling the truth, that might be the most unlucky dice roll in all of human history, as I dont think even with every game ever played dice have been rolled anywhere near 21.9 quadrillion times.

>>53240405

This is 5e, and this man tells the truth.

I've been there, it's a strange place.

Some never return.

>>53244269
So, out of curiosity was your fun the "pay 10 peasants a gold each and tell them to search for traps in the dungeon with a 10 foot pole?"

>party is in a cave filled with a thick fog
>cleric lets out a loud whistle with thurmaturgy
>for shits and giggles i ask the DM if i can attempt to use echolocation to construct a map of the area inside my head
DM: fuck it roll survival
>nat 20
>DM rolls with it and reveals more of the map

>>53229101
>dat image
Why you gotta get my lobes excited?

>>53228459
Just yesterday, we were fighting a boss monster on pretty much even terms, when the boss critted two thirds of our party in a single round of attacks and slaughtered us all in an instant.

The GM also deliberately moved NPCs we were trying to save in range of the boss' attacks of opportunity, killing them, which was pretty bullshit in itself.

>>53228821
>>53228880
Exploding dice is the worst mechanic in history.

>>53229069
You can't get Righteous Fury more than once per attack.

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>>53230668

>>53236899
Most likely vanilla pudding in a mayo container.

>>53240926
What, extreme unluckiness should be fudge! All day, All night.

The point is to have fun, losing because of a 1/8000 probability after 3 hours of game is not fun.
Just make it bad, and give yourself a "get a normal roll instead of a very shitty one"-card for later

>>53228459
First game i ever played with necrons in 3rd,20 man warrior squad eats starcannons to the face, 20 down, in range of another squad of warriors and a lord with a res orb.
>made every We'll be back.
>super warrior brick engaged

Grey knight grand master in terminator armor losing his last wound to nurgle's rot in the 3ed chaos book while dueling a great unclean one ranks up there too.

>>53230307
Pics or it didn't happen.

>>53245017
by "Just make it bad", I meant make the TPK roll just a "gonna sting,... a lot" roll

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My party rolled four consecutive nat 1s when trying to attack a stirge that was rolled up in a blanket.

>Four elite warriors trying to kill a wounded stirge rolled up into a ball in a blanket
>Proceed to stumble, fall, and pierce one another in various ways

>>53231230
So you want people to be extorted to pay for a lardass? Oh joy.

>>53240926
Either shit GM, or some poser that likes to hang out on /tg/ and pretend they play. In any case, I'm glad I've never had to game with a shitlord like you.

In quick succession, I failed spectacularly a perception/intelligence check to identify a dragon, thus leading me to believe it was just an illusion, then proceeded to ace the fuck out of a charisma check to convince the other enemies present that I had summoned this mighty dragon to do my bidding
It didn't go well

>>53245205
>shitlord

Back to tumblr with you.

Played a game of 40k a few weeks ago where my Farseer got Perils every single turn, and got triple perils (4 6's) on a Guide and wound up forgetting the power. She did not survive the game.

>>53228459
Not the most improbable thing to happen, but it was bullshit nonetheless.

I was playing a campaign session of Killteam: Heralds of the Ruin (it is a smaller version of 40k designed for skirmish games). I was playing orks against Nurgle marines, and just bought a trukk for my gang of Flashgits with Dok inside to ride around and shoot stuff to shreds.

I fucked up and placed my trukk in a bad spot and realised that it was going to get wrecked. So before all of this happens, right before the game started I tell my opponent

>"Hey, you know how Mob Rule works for orks in this game?"
>If a model with Mob rule (boyz and any boy-statted specialist like dok) fails a LD test of any kind and there is a Nob/Flashgit within 6'' then you HAVE to smack it on a roll of 4+ with a STR4 AP- hit and then it autopasses failed test
>You don't have a choice, you just roll a dice and on 4+ you smack the git, even if you'd be okay with him failing test
>So if trukk gets wrecked and my dok fails LD test then my Flashgits might smack it to death and remove a key piece of my army before the main fight starts
>"I mean, its kinda possible, dunno why I'm telling you this"
>My opponent is "huh, that'd be unfortunate"
>Trukk gets wrecked in close combat first turn by raptors
>Boys and flashgits spill out and they pass LD test and dont not get pinned, they are ready to countercharge
>Dok fails his LD test and gets pinned, I actually would not mind him being pinned since he still provides Feen No Pain buff in area, but...
>Yeah, Mob rule that I have to use even if I don't want to
>I roll a 6 to activate it
>Then I roll a 6 on to wound from a flashgit smack
>and then I proceed to roll 1's on armor save(6+) and Feel No Pain (5+)
>Dok is dead, I lose Feel no Pain buff and get crumped in following melee

>>53244112
I actually had Kill Yourself My Man in mind but this one is even better.