Magic Story Lore Thread:High Ground Edition

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>she had the high ground

Yes, yes, go on and get the lemme smash jokes out of the way.

>>53164167

>Grim Striders glorified dissenter vacuums

Not a lot of interesting juice in this one, besides the characterization of above, which I found cool. Ending was predictable and I'm annoyed that Samut's knowledge of the truth stems from a single room she found, rather than some cumultivation of other things or hunch.

>>53164167
If they are, they're either monstrosities such as that or were rendered incapable of doing much.
Can't do shit if you've been separated into square-inch chunks.
On the other hand, Bolas might have figured out some other method of removing them. Either through simply not actually killing them in the first place or by complete and total annihilation.

>>53164167
>a story about a character none really cares

3.2/10 get to the point

>>53164547
Couldn't even be multiple rooms or something that she has to piece together.
No, just the one that she's been to a bunch but conveniently just now gets just when The Heroes show up

tl;dr:
>once upon a time in Amonkhet there weren't any planeswalker
>but there were a bunch of kids
>and then one died
>his friends were really broken up about it
>then they grew up.
>okay, you're all caught up now

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>>53164167
When I think Egyptian world, I think pic related

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>>53165550
But instead we get this.

>>53164547
they kind of gloss over it, but they do mention samut spent plenty of time exploring the older ruins to find answers.

>>53165603
I really hoped she was just an one-note character that died quietly, but she seems to be rescued next chapter of the chapter after that. And leaks point out she is our new Planeswalker come HoD.

I don't mind another Nubian Planeswalker, but Gods, couldn't she be a little less ugly? This is an eyesore.

>>53164599
Grim Strider could have been the god of death.

>>53165806

True, but it pretty much states all of those findings or ruins she probed did squat while the single macguffin room did. It would have worked better if she pieced things togrher, rather then stumbling onto evilplot.jpeg

I realize this is an incredibly pedantic point, but this week's story is so inoffensive and threadbare I have to complain about something

>>53166260
To be fair, her research led her there.

>>53165808
i find your post hilarious. samut (or whoever aleksi briclot had model for her) is a beautiful woman. what you are seeing as ugly is her facial expression.

she is making an angry, aggressive face. women rarely make these kinds of faces and when they do, it is seen as being ugly. i've worked in the fashion industry for years. i guarantee that model would seem beautiful to you if she made a calm, passive face.

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>>53165603

Isn't she supposed to be young? She looks in her late 30s

>>53166398
no man, being half bald makes a woman ugly
plus the background is as uninteresting as humanly possible, and the pose is quite unnatural, you'd make that move when there's enemies about, not when you are showing off your ugly warface

>>53165603
Is R/G deck built around her viable in Amonkhat? Would a third color in the mix be ok?

>>53166513
White would be good

>>53166442
>no man, being half bald makes a woman ugly
i don't even know how to unpack this. she has hair all on her head. her hair is pulled back so you can see her forehead. you hate foreheads?

>the background
>the posing
you said she was "ugly"...not that the art was bad...

>>53166442
She's clearly meant to be fighting someone off screen. Also she's pissed off as fuck. People aren't usually pretty when they're batshit furious.

>>53166695
Different anons, I was the anon who called her ugly. Which per my standards, she is. There have been plenty of furious women in mtg story, but hey, ugly is the next "Standard" we need to break =^)

Can't wait for a morbid obese planeswalker.

>>53166836
Got to be tough to stay focused on mtg when the cards don't get you hard.

I want Djeru and Samut to make up
And then fug

>>53166836
>forgetting about karn
he weighs at least a few tons

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>>53165550
>>53165603

There's a third option.

>>53166922
Here's a third option
Kill yourself.

>>53164167

The narrative itself is serviceable (Yichao has done quality work for this set's story), but I just don't buy Samut's reasoning behind becoming a dissenter. Perhaps that's because the ending was rushed, but her moment of putting the pieces together feels like a vast logical leap.

>>53166868
I know many complains are that WotC doesn't print waifus anymore. My point wouldn't be on this category. I'm not asking her to be pretty or a titty monster like another anon.
I just wanted her to be less ugly. It is hard to care about someone when they unappealing.

>>53167127
but why don't people complain about xenagos or tezzeret for being gruesome looking?

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>>53166922
My nigga
>>53167014
Hey faggot not everyone here fucks sjw hambeast women. You Kill Your Self

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>>53167127
I am that Anon that wants be titie monster waifus in mtg.
>>53167187

Those guys arnt that ugly desu.

>>53167187
I was on a break on theros, but if I was to say something, he is a satyr, so I'm parcial to say my human standards are applicable here.

Tezzeret has had a very inconstant design all around, but since The Seeker he has been in a very rugged shape.

Those are my personal opinions of both these guys.

>>53167127
You're allowed to be shallow that way. You totally are. But no one's got to cater to that. Also tons of people do cater to that so lol.

>>53165603
I don't see the problem.

>>53167575

Because they wuz kangs for a little under 100 years and that was it. Also they were Nubians, not the West Africans who Black Americans are mostly descended from.

How about instead of a bunch of white Brits playing Ramses and Noah in the 400th version of Exodus, or WE WUZ KANGS, we get some actual Egyptians looking people on in an Egyptian setting?

I'd rather be seen playing a card game where >>53166430 is a card rather than a card game where >>53166922 is a card.

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>>53167366

Tezzeret and Gideon are two planeswalkers where I really feel like the artists need to have a pow-wow with the subject "OK, guys, what the fuck do these guys LOOK LIKE?"

Tezzeret has "dreds, metal arm" and Gideon has "Sideburns. Big. Armor." Beyond that, I feel like they leave way too much variance in there.

Chandra is Chandra is Chandra. She is always more or less exactly the same person from one piece of art to the next.

Does Gideon look like Bruce Willis? Does he look like Nicolas Cage? Is he a lighter or darker shade of Mediterranean? Are his eyes blue, green, brown, or hazel? I don't particularly care what you settle on but PICK SOMETHING.

I'm a big fan of how they drew Xenagos, personally. You don't have any particular notions one way or the other about Heliod from how he's drawn but I liked how utterly malevolent they made Xenagos look. One peek at his card tells you this guy's bad news.

>>53167713
Gideon's inconsistency is one of my main grips too. Pre-Origins I will give the benefit of the doubt, but after the soft reboot that came along with it, they have no excuses.

>>53164167
Well Nissas story depicted the gods as stars which Bolas encircled. And when three got snuffed out they were replaced by something dark and weird.

So the Gods are either zombies or have been twisted into demons/horrors.

>>53167797
>Three of the stars winked out. Their generation of light and heat snuffed. Their lives vanished.

>But Nissa could still see movement where those three stars had been. Stars no more, just three dark rents in the fabric of the sky. Three dark holes, possessed of an energy and fury all their own, pulsing to a rhythm malevolent.

Up to you if that means they still exist or if their absence is just something that negatively impacts Amonkhet.

>>53167857
Considering that Amonkhet's Dead Curse is something the plane itself is doing as a revenge against Bolas, I would suspect the former Gods will show up when the hekma is shattered.

>>53167857

It could be that Bolas butchered the gods and turned them into whatever is persisting the autozombie magic. Gods are leylines, autozombie is a feature of the magic of the plane, etc.

Given how the zombies reacted to the horror, it could have been a god. Or just a more powerful extension of the same magic.

>>53167713
I'm still not sure on Tezzeret's skin color, like 65% confident on him being white
>see him for the first time
>dreds
>in shadow
>kind of light skin tone
>Agent of Bolas version is just grey
>but he looks pretty black in Revolt
I can't really tell

>>53167927
Autozombie is the plane itself's doing.
Could have bound the three together and set them on fire, though. Nothing says 'new sun' like a deific bonfire.

>>53167963

It's hard to tell. Like Gideon, artists seem to depict his skin in a range that goes from pale to dark to ashen.

>>53164359
underrated post/10

>>53168050

Thats what it looks like, yes. But it didnt do that before Bolas took over.

Im just saying that and ultrakilling 3 gods are probably somehow related.

>>53167797
is one actually lili's demon?
I suspect that all three are still on amonkhet, doing bolas' work as zombies. After grixis, bolas should know how to do zombie things

>>53168253
The demon's still around and has something to do with the Anointed.

>>53168253

Although he fucked Amonkhet up before he went to Alara in the first place, if I've got the timeline right.

Lili's demon appears to be unrelated to the pantheon but he serves Bolas and has been inserted into the religion as a gatekeeper of the afterlife for reasons not yet explained.

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I don't know, Gideon's becoming more consistent. You occasionally get some artists painting him as uncharacteristically white but post-Origins Gideon is almost universally bronzed Mediterranean, with a rather broad nose.

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>>53168375
>Bruce Willis Gideon

Always a good chuckle


What happened to this gideon, he lost his facial hair, and hes giving me the crazy eye

>>53168375
ORI Gideon was when he first sparked
oath of gideon, ally of zendikar, reproach, BFZ art, the escalate card that taps creatures, chandra hug, the one to the left of chandra hug and martial paragon are pretty on point with each other

phalanx was probably when he was still kytheon, dunno

gideon of the trials was drawn in a very different art style with more water colors and the art description probably says to make him look old and grumpy as he contemplates fightin' the gods

>>53167197
>I want to play force of will but no one plays my titty game so here I am.

>>53168375
Zendikar Gideon is generic and ill-defined, with his only interesting traits being his equipment.
DOTP 2012 Gideon is a blatant Bruce Willis trace.
RTR Gideon is where he starts to acquire a standard identity that's pretty consistent.
Post-Origins Gideon is almost entirely consistent after a few modifications (such as making him Mediterranean for some reason), just drawn slightly different by slightly different artists.

I'd only really complain if you see any inconsistencies in post-Origins Gideon As it is, he's stabilized.

>>53168620
Kytheon is from Theros.
Alex, I'll take the country greek people live in for $200

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>>53168375
>Gideon's Reproach

>>53165808
Leaks?

>>53166398
Nigga you gay?

>>53168497
Funny you mention that, I got into Magic back in 2013, and I genuinely love the game and women of it like Thalia and Anafenza. And while 1-2 titty monsters would nice, this huge sjw kick WotC has been on has me kinda of pissed off. I did my some decks of force of will but sadly my play group don't play it.

>>53169050
Alesha's hot ;)
I'd love for her to fuck me in the ass with her cock
don't even try to tell me tarkir ~1300 years ago had that type of surgery+hormones

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>Phyrexia still hasn't won

Why do people care about Samut? Nobody will remember him/her/it after this set, she isn't like Thalia or Anafeza or whatever. She's just a black lady(?) in a mess of a card.

Fuck this story was nothing, I need to complain about something.

The bird guy was cool, why we didn't get a card of him instead of an unninteresting warrior.

>>53169233
Wait, do people actually talk about Anafenza based on her story or flavour?

Because I can't recall the last time I heard anyone talk about her outside attempts to make Modern Spirits work.

>>53169233
http://magiccards.info/query?q=t%3A%22bird%22+e%3Aakh%2Fen&v=card&s=cname
here you go

>>53169233
because he died long before the current story

>>53169281
Hey man, Anafenza is my spirit waifu. I am actually gay, but I really loved abzans flavor, by far my favorite clan, and anafenza my favorite khan.

>>53169281
She's the waifu of some anons iirc.

>>53169318
>No Legendary Aven
Sad, birbpeople are cool.

>>53169233
>She's just a black lady
That's probably it
You're right though, she's just going to be forgotten after the next set. It'll probably go something like this.
>Thank you for helping liberate my plane, Batm-er Jace and friends. And thank you for not burning it too much.
>I would love to help you after you chased off/killed the false Pharaoh but I must help rebuild here
Then Ajani comes in and says that he needs help in Aztec-land if he didn't show up to sacrifice himself to Bolas to save everyone.

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>>53169337
Did I get your favorite FRF khan right?

>>53169337
>because he died long before the current story

No shit, Sherlock, but the birb dude had more character and personality than Samut.

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>>53169210
>Phyrexia has been back for 6 years
>Hasn't done jack shit since
>Instead all we get is The Super best Friends doing the same thing over and ove

>>53169383
And MTG has been trying to put a focus on keeping the cards connected to the story.


They tend to make cards of alive people who are interacting in the story.


Hence Samut, vs bird person who died a while ago.

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>>53166430
I wish her art was more colorful. A Naya mythic should scream Red Green and White, not boring muted colors

here's what a naya mythic should look like

>>53166398
Her face actually looks like a granny face, you're retarded.

>>53169400
(You)

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>>53169370
Did you mean favorite neck ornament?


Too bad Daghatar was a coward

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>>53169461
Daghatar did what was right.

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>>53169438
with Uril it Works, since he's "the Miststalker", and meant to be elusive and mysterious
Samut is meant to be outrageous, a "voice of dissent", a doublestriker rebelling against a corrupt society, not some sneaky thug wandering through a bland back alley attacking random passerby like she looks now

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>>53169461
You've still got this girl for all your Abzan needs.

>>53165550
I'm glad you're not getting your way.

>>53169715
I am glad that you are a faggot or a women. Since when did people on 4chan respect women?

>>53169281
I mean, we actually got to see Anafenza do some interesting shit.

>>53165603

I'm more annoyed that she's just a big keyword salad.

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>>53165603
How about something like this, you know an actual Egyptian

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>>53167690
THIS

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>>53165550
>>53165603
>>53166922
>>53172023

It's like you don't even 4chan, anons.

>>53169589

Also killed by Slumdog Millionaire.

Although maybe she can be a ghost in Rebels of Tarkir, too.

...Hm. By and large I've noted a lot of fatigue with rebellion plots in MtG, but would people be all right with a rebel plot if it was humanity striking back at the dickhead dragonlords in Tarkir?

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>>53172969
>Jace
>Jacetice League
>Rebellions

The first 2 got adressed, rebellions are getting fucking boring.

>>53172969

Everyone assumes Amonkhet is going to be a rebellion plot. But the plane is fucked beyond the ability of the Gatewatch to fix, even if everyone else remains equal.

They can't take the gods. They certainly can't take Bolas. Amonkhet is going to end with the entire plane getting exploded to fuel some crazy Bolas plan, with the Gatewatch being powerless to stop it.

Tezzeret tricked Lilianna into coming here to die, hoping she would be on the plane when everything went down. Notice how Tezzerret planeswalked away to safety and ISN'T HERE on his bosses personal plane?

>>53173372

Yeah, the writing's on the wall that this is going to go south fast for the Gatewatch in Hour of Devastation.

I'm still wondering if Liliana is going to backstab/abandon the team when she's got the demon killed and things start to go sideways, because "incurring the wrath of Bolas and remembering the Chain Veil is in no way a balancing factor" doesn't seem like the sort of thing Liliana's going to be a good person to have on the team for.

>>53169204
they do have magic though man

>>53164701
>internet, both /tg/ AND /r/magicTCG, hate how the gatewatch always have the spotlight

>story about someone other than gatewatch and people don't care about the characters

It's a lose/lose situation for the writing team: either focus on the planeswalkers and not go into the lore of the folks on the planes, focus on non-walkers with
no emotional connections (although I personally enjoy Samut as a card, and it seems like her power level in the story and in the game match pretty well) and it's like pre-gatewatch all over again, or fire everyone on the writing department to get professionals and make Twitter and reddit angry.

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>>53173470
I think it doesn't matter if it's walkers or inhabitants of the set's world. Well written characters are always appreciated. I love character like Odric, Thalia, the twins, Tesya, Tajic, Ral, Anafenza, and many more. It's this shitty teenage sounding, one dimensional, tumblr shit that is creating shitty stories.

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>>53173470
You got it wrong, kiddo. They can write an interesting character associated to a legendary card but instead they write about a nobody. Quick, what was the name of the lesbian couple in SOI? That's my point, some characters are only remember because of their pandering, Samut will go down in MTG lore story as that black lady with awful art and nothing more.

Fuck the Gatewatch, that's for sure, but if they're gonna write about new characters, at least make them interesting.

TO BE FAIR, Samut can make a come back in HOU, we'll have to wait and see. But as for now, she's a boring character.

Also
>reddit

>>53173878

Hal and Alena? Their names were pretty easy to remember, they had a good amount of flavor text and their focus story with Arlinn was loads better than anything in BFZ Troop didn't write.

Although the Innistrad guy I want to read more about is Rem Motherfucking Karolus.

>>53173937
Honestly disappointed that Rem's title changed in EMN. It makes sense, but Slayer of Angels is just so much more metal.

>>53173650
>It's this shitty teenage sounding, one dimensional, tumblr shit that is creating shitty stories.

>>53173878
>instead they write about a nobody. Quick, what was the name of the lesbian couple in SOI? That's my point

So we fire the writing team then? Because litteraly the Alison girl that made Yahenni begged to get on the team. No formal interview, no proof that she can write well other than her telling them she can.


Also for the sheer fact that you guys are hating on a body that can't be bolted OR fatal pushed and can swing for six every turn, Samut is my new waifu.

What if, bear with me, Lili's demon actually is against Bolas, hence why he is the last obstacle to be fought. He and Bolas may have had a divide after Lili was introduced to him.

And then in HoD Lili would have to chose between fighting Bolas alongside the Gatewatch and her Demon or betray them and join Bolas in his plot.

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>>53174199
>can't be bolted OR Fatal Pushed and can swing for six every turn

Quick /tg/ who's best Gatewatch girl?

>>53174220
I'm expecting a Lili betrayal in HoD.

>>53174292

I'm expecting a "betrayal" but not by choice.

Lilianna's entire plan hinges on ganking the demons and killing them before they can call in her contract. The first was too stupid to live, the second got gibbed the second he got dumped out of the helvault.

This demon knows she is there. I'm expecting her to get CONTRACTED mid-fight, and turned against the gatewatch on the spot whether she wants it or not.

Shit, using the Chain Veil? She might even be what kills Gideon. That would be fitting, considering Gideon's whole guilt complex comes from accidently getting HIS friends killed (so at the winner take all moment he will hesitate, and Lilianna won't) and she always did remark that he would make an excellent zombie.

>>53174281

Chandra. Pretty much the only thing they need to fix Chandra is a little character development to take things less lightly and drop the modern-sounding stream of consciousness stuff.

Don't like Lili because she's a condescending bitch who's just as guilty of the modern parlance stuff as Chandra.

Nissa's...OK, but Leyline bullshit is seriously starting to get on my nerves so that's two demerits.

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>>53174253

Ok this made me laugh good job

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>>53174281
Do you really have to ask?

>>53174281
lili.
Chandra is a fucking 7 year old's self insert vessel and nissa is a leyline so it takes 0 supporting evidence for lili ti be the best.

>>53174366
>condescending bitch
I'm with ya man but I like that part.

>>53174281

Lili is currently the best, but only because her interactions with Jace are cute.

Nissa is usually autistic furniture, but occasionally has really neat scenes that stand out in the stories.

Chandra is currently the worst because they are completely fucking up writing her, its absolutely trivial to fix that and make her best girl but until they do she is a number three with room to grow.

>>53174546
>Lili
>her interactions with Jace are cute
They're kind of fucked up, to be honest. Getting a guy drunk so you can fuck him after killing all his friends a few years back is...bleh.

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>>53174281
>okay but just anal
>I have a boyfriend

>>53174645
>fuck him after killing all his friends
Delightfully sadistic.

>>53174645

I do find it interesting that her past romance with Jace was horrible and he knows better than to go back to that, but he STILL can't help himself.

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>>53174645
Not you again, please.

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>>53174645
>tfw you read your girls mind while she was riding some vampire

>>53169438
Beauty is patriarchal opression.

>>53173470
We liked Teysa and Tajic, Yahenni, Thalia, etc. And Ajani is both a Gatewatch member and consistently entertaining and well-received in the fiction.
It's not lose-lose, it's that they chose to focus on characters people dislike instead of characters people like.

>>53165808
Honestly you try to look attractive when you're fucking pissed like she looks in her card art.

>>53164167
Anyone else get an Eldrazi vibe from that horror?

>life draining
>impossible limbs
>staring faceless face

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>>53174281
Firecrotch is best girl

>>53164599
They were probably stuffed behind the Gate to the Afterlife. So 3 Grixis gods in HOU.

>>53172969
>humanity striking back at the dickhead dragonlords in Tarkir
So they travel back in time and re-kill Ugin?

>>53176135
Don't forget the horns.
Clearly Kozilek is Bolas.

>>53176328

Actually, my theory was that Bolas turned the 3 gods into not!Eldrazi and that the gate to the afterlife is literally just a hole to the blind eternities.

>>53176575
>bolas scrubbed the mana from the gods by dunking them into the blind eternities and it mutated them horribly
I would approve

>>53176784

Right? Seems like something he would do.
Also, the story implied that Bolas shit fucked the whole plain, gods and all, solo. I want to see the gatewatch realize just out matched they are before eating shit. However, we can't have that, so we'll probably get Bolas losing to the power of Teamwork And Diversity!

>>53176843
I'm positive Bolas is going to BTFO Gatewatch. He either kills Gideon or Nissa,manages to get Liliana to betray GW and/or forces them to get the fuck off his plane. HoD is going to be their first loss and its going to make them sit down and think how do they handle Oldwalkers like Bolas

>>53176879
Hes gunna mind control jace

>>53176575
>>53176784
>>53176843
>Great idea for the plot
Too bad we're talking about WotC

>>53177238

This is true. They are actually incapable of making nice things

>>53176879
They're not going to kill any of them.

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I want more slice of life planeswalkers like that first chapter of Kaladesh arc, but with actually interesting characters.
Just a bit of worldbuilding would be nice. Anyone else had that literary form of ASMR, where you get chills from seemingly mundane things or whatever being explained in a really fascinating way?
Comfy af

>>53178401
When it comes to MTG's lore, 10% of my interest lies in the weekly story articles, while the other 90% rests solely on Planeswalker's Guide to [X] articles.

I'm far more interested in the daily life of an Undercity rot farmer on Ravnica or a cautious scholar living under the dominion of Silumgar than I am in the fucking Gatewatch.

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this bitch has been killing her own faithful for a gorillion years because she has been mindbent and forced to accept Bolas's lies for that long.She is his most faithful servant.
It's pretty freaking clear that Bolas meant amonkhet's world to be a planeswalker farm, hoping he would end up sucking a free spark when he came back.

Imagine how fucking angry she would be if she discovered all of that is a lie.Wouldn't she make for a fucking amazing planeswalker, devoted to hunting down Bolas? the amount of mad she would be could easily make her colorshift to anything.
We already got too many humans planeswalkers(and elf basically does count toward human too) in the gatewatch, having a unique one would be rad.
No one wanted yet another human, a fucking nigger even, planeswalking.And it would have been cool to save up one god instead of having them all get fucked.

I know that it would be odd for a being so old to suddenly gain a spark, but when you are the story team anything is possible.

>>53178738
I want this, and then I want her and Xenagos to fuck and create a weird god race

>>53178738
30 years.

>>53172023
Because Amonkhet isn't ACTUALLY Egypt and even if it was there'd still be several black people.

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>>53180859
You can have black people, but Wizards did like 70% Black, 30% Egyptian and most the women look like men. Even though they did all that that Black consultant says the block is still racist since some black people are not black enough.

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>>53171991
What's wrong with an occasional keyword salad though?

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>>53181164
Agreed I don't know why they still use that consultant even though they call them racist for not being hardcore PC. Jesus fucking Christ

>>53182002
Jesus Christ Wizards, you fuckers are creating issues out of nothing, Fucking Stop with the virtue signaling. This shit is going to kill the game.

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>>53174996
It's about color aesthetics you dumb idiot. Naya is the intersection of light, nature, and passion. Even pictures in the dark on these cards are supposed to be obvious and colorful (See Knotvine Mystic)

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>>53182002

>>53165550
>Monstergirls
Ugh. Either go all the way or don't go at all. Don't just slap some dog ears on it and call it Anubis.

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>>53182002

>>53178502
well, the kids Wotc panders to are not

>>53174996
Beauty is objective reality.

>>53185765
DELET THIS

>>53176879
It won't be Nissa, not with what they're doing with her now.
Probably won't be any deaths at all, but still them getting fucked over and losing

>>53178738
She apparently believes herself to be Bolas's daughter, according to the fatpack.
Rhonas thinks he's THE STRONGEST and Bontu is trying to ensure she's the worthiest of the gods.

>>53174996
kys

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Mini lore for those that want to know stuff but can't read 10 mile long lore pages.

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>>53190202
part 2

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>>53190222
part 3

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>>53190237
Part 4

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>>53190254
part 5

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>>53190270
part 6

Okay seems to me all the Oathwatch does is crash from plane to plane and if they dont like your government system they just shit all over it, leave it worse and do the same in some other plane

Who wants to read about these jerkoffs?

>>53190349

I mean, it's Bolas who remade the world from a thriving plane into a nearly dead world with a single city where all its living inhabitants train day in and day out with the singular purpose of killing eachother for a purpose only known to an impossibly ancient and evil dragon. Not exactly a shining beacon of freedom and democracy.

The only reason the Gatewatch stayed on Kaladesh was because of Tezzeret, who was corrupting the government and turning it into an authoritarian hellhole at the expense of the plane's inhabitants.

So, you know.

>>53190349
They're SUPPOSED to be going around stopping extraplanar threats from fucking up worlds.
It's just that, for whatever reason, they decided to have two worlds in a row where the extraplanar threat had settled into the government of the plane. And the two before that were loleldrazi.
Next one supposedly has Vraska so maybe hopefully she'll be fucking things up and thus they have to stop her from fucking things up instead of lolrebellion again.
haha who am I trying to kid, she'll have made herself Queen of Ixalan already by the time anyone gets there

>>53190349

That's...not even a little what happened.

In the set they formed, the Gatewatch came together to help the Zendikari kill the super-kaiju eating their planet, leaving Zendikar able to recover but the spirit dragon Ugin afraid killing two titans has unbalanced forces they know nothing about in the Blind Eternities. As a result, he tells Jace to go find Sorin.

Jace travels to Sorin's home planet to find two ex-oldwalkers engaging in a genocidal war over what happened to Zendikar, culminating in the third super-kaiju showing up and the Gatewatch mobilizing to fight it off. They fail, but apparently Innistrad isn't ripe or Emrakul doesn't want to be there, as she turns them into her puppets and seals herself in Innistrad's moon instead of consuming the plane.

On Kaladesh, Chandra goes there looking to find out what happened to her mom and her friends go after her out of concern. Chandra gets tugged into a revolution that is ALREADY HAPPENING because her mom is leading it, and when the gatewatch finds out that the reason for the revolt is because a planeswalker has infiltrated Kaladesh's government and corrupted it into a kleptocracy for his own ends, they agree to oust the planeswalker in question but then let the locals take it from there. The government remains standing, but several corrupt officers lose their jobs and are replaced by members of the rebellion, restoring peace after a relatively bloodless revolt.

Now they're on Amonkhet because Bolas is supposedly there and they know Bolas is up to something. Amonkhet's system has already been fucked beyond repair by Bolas intervening a couple decades ago, so there's really nothing they can do that's worse than what already happened.

>You are a Planeswalker! Explore exotic worlds! Zapp motherfuckers! Wreck shit!

>lol jk here's the Aveng- I mean, the Gateswatch

>>53191364

I still don't see how this is hugely different from the Weatherlight's crew.

>>53167197
ur a faget

and fat

no woman would touch you

>>53181592
Why is the "other creatures you control" line neccesary with haste on the card?

Why not just

Creatures you control have haste

?
>>53181592
Formatting. Akroma is neat. Samut is salad.

>>53174996
Kill yourself.

>>53192352
Because people are dumb and think somehow it means the card itself doesn't have it in every case other than slivers.
So they put a few more words on that are overall meaningless but make it so that even those dumbshits know how to play it.
It isn't the first card like that. Almost everything that grants your things stuff is like that, besides the aforementioned exception and the very few that don't have their own ability

>>53174717
SHes really, really good in the sack.

>>53192910
I'm going to need a comparison of some sort.

>>53193909
She's about as good as your mum.

>>53192352
so the card has haste in every zone, which is relevant if something asks to tutor or reanimate a card with haste. see mwonvuli beast tracker or whatever his name is.

>>53195074
Also there's a few cards that care when shit with haste ETB. And let me be the first to say, you do NOT want to deal with that kinda shit if you can avoid it