40k Roleplay Thread

"Khorne requires blood! He cares not from whence it flows!"

I don't think internal bleeding counts.

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>>53086465
>battleaxe
>useless against armor
nigga what
A battlaxe may not be as good as a mace against armor but it's still a solid 6/10 at least.

>>53086492

Well, yeah but the the mace has the edgy bits on the knob, and, that'd make someone bleed. I mean, probably not as much as the battleaxe, but still. I'm seriously considering using it, do you think I'd lose favor with Khorne if I did?

>>53086465
You'll cause plenty of tissue damage to unarmoured personnel with that, don't worry.

>>53086492
>>53086530
Just shove it up their ass and then use them as a bigger mace, simple. Then the blood will flow

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>>53086527

I might've taken it a bit too far by calling it a battleaxe... It's really more of a hatchet than anything, and I think the mace might be a serious improvement. I'll post a pic.

>>53086532

You really think so?

>>53086560

That sounds like a great idea, actually. I don't think I'm strong enough to pull it off, but if I were, I think that'd be pretty great.

>>53086600
>>53086600
YOU AREN'T THINKING. Eat the slain of the battle, lift what can't fit in your mouth, take supplements, become the huge. THEN you can use the person mace

>>53086621

B-but persons are heavy and I'm barely 180 pounds!

>>53086658
THEN OBVIOUSLY YOUR MOUTH ISN'T BIG ENOUGH TO GET PROPER NUTRITION. Cut it with your battleaxe so you can take in more meat and get stronger!

>>53086688

But then I'll bleed to death! And if I bleed to death, I won't be able to spill the blood of the corpse worshipers, and if I'm not able to spill the blood of the corpse worshipers, there will be a net loss of bloodshed!

>>53086881
YOU WILL ONLY BLEED TO DEATH IF YOU ARE TOO WEAK TO KEEP YOUR BLOOD INSIDE YOURSELF! LIKE THE DOGS OF THE EMPEROR! ARE YOU A TRUE FOLLOWER OF THE BLOOD GOD OR NOT!

>>53086917

I-I, I am! I am a true follower of the Blood God!

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>>53086881
>doesn't want to bleed to death but says>>53086881

Remember, Khorne cares not from whence the blood flows, only that it does.

>>53086971
DO IT, FUCKING DO IT

>>53087023

I know, I know. I just-, I don't care about bleeding myself, I'm just concerned that if I bleed to death, I won't be able to spill corpse worshiper blood and die a glorious death in battle!

>>53087070
BUT YOU CAN'T DIE GLORIOUSLY IF YOU CAN NOT WIELD THE MIGHTY BODY MACE, FOOL!

>>53087036

I, uh, are, are you sure I should do it? Like, you really think it'll really work and get me huge enough to use the people mace?

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How do I get my primarchfus to notice me?
Pic related, it's them.

>>53087089

I, you, you're right... But, I don't know man... Cutting part of my face off and risking a coward's death so I can shove more meat in my mouth to get huge enough to use a people mace... I'm just not sure I should go through with it.

>>53087112

Have you tried not being homosexual?

>>53087094
YES

>>53087119
SO YOU SHY AWAY FROM DRAWING EVEN YOUR OWN BLOOD, I SHOULD KILL YOU WHERE YOU STAND AND TURN YOU INTO A BODY MACE FOR SUCH COWARDICE.

>>53086465
>He doesn't even puts spikes in his clubs/maces to pierce arteries.
Once you use it, you'll realize that a common mace breaks skin and thus causes bleeding.

>The only problem is, it's worthless against armor, and I don't want to be cut down by some loyalist dog because I couldn't penetrate their carapace suit. I've heard blunt weapons are much better for that sort of thing, and I'm a bit torn between the two.
You worthless cur, if Khorne really liked you in any way, you would have gone into a Rage so powerful that your battleaxe would have become blunt. And after you came to your senses while chewing your own molar, you would see that BLUNT AXES MAKE GREAT BLUNT WEAPONSSSSSSSSSSSRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also, look what I have installed in my helmet:
https://youtu.be/I9QuO09z-SI

>>53087157
Hey, by transitive property he'd be drawing more blood for Khorne that way.

>>53087157

Uh, I want to do it, I really do, I just-, sigh... RAAGGGHHH!!

FUCK ME, I'LL DO IT!!! I'M GONNA FUCKIN' DO IT!!! PRAISE KHORNE!!!

>>53087183


THAT IS FUCKING RAD AND YOU SHOULD FEEL RAD!!!

>>53087212
YEAH YOU GO LITTLE GUY

Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>53087212

I'M DOING IT, I'M DOIN- OH GODS IT HURTS!!! IT HURTS SO MUCH!!! WHY DOES IT HAVE TO HURT SO MUCH!?!?

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Hey all, Blood Pact here. Where you there when SHTF at Cadia? Shit was so cash, I almost went Slaaneshi!

>>53087589
I WAS TELLING CULTISTS TO MAIM THEMSELVES

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Nurgler says hi.

I'm preparing a huge surprise for imperials. It involves large amounts of explosives, antigrav plates, infections and pic related.

Do any of you lads wishes to burst from the carcass before it explodes? I reckon khornate fellas like to look cool while a shower of gore blinds those stupid guardsmen.

>>53087607

Shit! That's what I'm talking about! Which warband where you with? You Khornate or what?

>>53087615

Sounds awesome, I'd totally do it, but I don't wanna catch crotch rot or space aids or anything like that. Shit's just nasty, no offence.

>>53087651
I AM THE WARBAND OF STOP FUCKING YELLING

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>>53087651
No problem, each person worships Chaos on its own way, right? Nurgle can wait until you become a nice corpse, he's just pacient like that.

Also, I'll use a mix of rubber-bone fever, white phosphorus necrosis and eye-leeches. Can't wait to see the look on those eyeless, jawless faces so burned that they show their twisted cheekbones.

I bet the bones will be useful to make toys later.

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>>53086465
Dark Engineerseer 01100110 01110010 01100001 01101110 01101011 01100101 01101110 01110011 01110100 01100101 01101001 01101110 00001101 00001010 opening comm channel to meatbags. These servitors will be on our side next battle.

You know, it's frustrating having to scavenge parts from the battlefield. I almost feel like an ork sometimes.

I even had to replace a combustion engine with lots of lasgun packs.

>>53087837

> I bet the bones will be useful to make toys later.

I like the sound bones make when you snap them or hit them together. Ratatatata, click-click, clack-clack, chachacha! It's like music, and they're always so much friendlier once you've freed them from their meat prisons...

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>>53089092
Great idea, my crunchier friend! I'll make an organ out of them! The methane of my rotting liver shall make sweet and obscene sounds through the pipes.

And for you, drums out of spent artillery shells and human drumheads to use your femur sticks.

We might find that weirdo that mixed a plasma cannon with a guitar to help with the melody and overwatch.

I shall prepare a second floating whale-bomb as our stage and timed blasts of gore for special effects.

A daemonette-to-be shall sing the Odes of Jericho as we compose Oblivion upon this planet.

It shall be the most glorious Rock Show of Chaos of the entire Segmentum!

I just realized.

Each of the main four chaos gods are weirdly good fits for the typesnof rpg players.

Khorne is the power gamer munchkin
Slannesh is the weird fuck who pushes his fetishes into everything
Tzeench is the rules lawyer
And nurgle is the guy so fed cated to the game he rarely even makes the time to wash himself

Concept for a black crusade campaign?

>>53086465
Um.. if you hit a dude with a mach he is going to bleed plenty and something tells me brains seeping out of you foes ears will please the god of slaughter just as much as blood.