Bad DM/Bad Player thread. A thread dedicated to those shitty

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>a bunch of coworkers have a D&D group going
>Never really cared to play despite them asking me several times
>Their DM comes to me and says he has a plan.
>Wants me to start playing as a cleric but secretly be a spy for the villain
>Has two character sheets worked out. One fake which the players see and one real one
>Says I'm not supposed to actively try and kill them but to just make things difficult for them.
>Decide it could be fun so I agree
>Go to their next game
>start playing
>One of the other players, one of my coworkers, apparently heard the DM and myself plotting during work and told everyone
>mfw

I'm not really into RPing but this seems like it's frowned upon.

>>53064948
OP here, metagaming is frowned upon in tabletop games.

>>53064983
That's what I thought.

I had a guy in my gurps group who kept making just the absolute worst characters. Just complete shit from both a concept/RP standpoint and from mechanics.
Always made edgy, antisocial special snowflakes who constantly tried to show off how cool and badass they were, but couldn't make a functional, viable character to save his soul, and then would get mad when his guy was awful at basically everything. I'd try to point out areas where he could improve, but he'd literally only fix the specific thing I mentioned and nothing else, and get mad if I "kept pressing him" . He was also an obnoxious retard at the table, so he didn't last long. He did manage to make his way through three characters in almost as many sessions

>Four armed omnicidal midget cyclops from "A dimeinsion of pain cahos you can't understand" who dual wielded tower shields despite being catastrophically weak. Died by eating the corpse of a fungus monster he 100% knew was infectious and toxic

>Mutant "master thief" who sunk most of his points into being able to see and breathe underwater, despite being told that those powers would be niche at most. Despite allegedly being a skilled burglar, had no stealth skills whatsoever, fought (poorly) with a claymore, and not only didn't have any criminal contacts but actively resisted getting any, citing the fact that "he works alone". Died to many, many bullets after deciding to take on a small army despite his less than marginal combat skills and his significantly more combat oriented partner deciding to stand down

>a weird edgy wizard who practiced "the forbidden arts of necromancy", despite being told that necromancy was actually legal and socially tolerated in the region. Also wore kingdom hearts style black robes with little skull bells, which he insisted was the uniform of the "great wizard school" (it wasn't). Spent points to have said bells be able to be turned on and off at will, for no real reason. Couldn't actually necromance.

>>53064878
>Join a group on roll20
>DM said to keep the sup books limited
>Decide it would be fun to make a short sword/ dagger using fighter type, with lots of ranks in running
>I was going to be a long distance messenger type who focused more on getting the message there more than smiting demons
>DM liked it and said it was very flavorful and should fit in fine
>I take ranks in running, and feats to support it
>First session, we get all of our gear stolen in our sleep, and have to chase a thief down into the sewers
>Dm tells us all to roll a run check
>I ask about my feats and skill ranks
>DM says, "Oh, Nah, I use a 3d6 check on running"
>basically 3d6, high numbers good, low numbers bad
>Thief gets a 15 total
>I get an 11
>Thief gets away
>Fat (literally his sheet listed his cleric as FAT) cleric rolls a 16 and gains on thief
>I fall behind
>I say wait a minute.....
>Dm says "Ya, I use the 3d6 for run checks, it shouldn't really interfere with your concept"
>Everyone made it to the sewers before me
>My final "check", I roll 3d6 and get 6.
>Dm says "You finally make it as everyone else is waiting on you in the sewer, you're out of breath and fatigued"

I rage quit.

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>bar fight going on with an half orc and a tabaxi
>4/1 odds on drunken orc, 1.5/1 odds on tabaxi
>bet 50 gold on the orc and then uses rallying cry to heal him
>DM describes it
>the tabaxi wraps his legs around the orc and starts scratching his face, the orc tries to force him off him but fails, suddenly you let off a wahh to encorage him and a white glowing light surrounds you and the orc
wtf rallying cry isn't magic, why would we glow?
>yes it is magic
then why is it based on my character level and not on int, charisma or wisdom? the discription says you inspire your allies to fight on past their injuries.
>it's magic, you can't heal people by shouting
i don't think it's really healing people just encouraging to take a few more blows, I'm only going to heal him for 6 hp
>calls DM's law and I get thrown out of the bar and they keep my money
>orc loses the fight anyway because the tabaxi was a new NPC
>the orc with his renewed strength forces the tabaxi of and charges at him
>the tabaxi dodges out of the way and trips him up
>the orc fall is knocked out
>BUT THEN OPENS HIS EYES AND LETS OUT A WAHH
>the tabaxi pulls him up and headbutts him back to sleep
>try to break in to the bar but I get caught without having to make a stealth roll and have to wait while the other characters (who can't RP for shit) to read though there notes and ask the person we came to the bar for questions
>hostage we had at the time escapes during the chaos and the DM blames me

man this "you can't influence anything that happens in the story" system is really fun.

>>53065240
What a cunt

>>53064878

>DM says this game setting will be in the middle of an Elven forest, where everyone lives in trees
>We're all going to be elfags? NO, says the DM, just realize that the elves will look down on you if you're not an elf.
>I make an elf fighter, specializing in bows, because it was the least gay thing I could come up with
>I put down "doesn't hate humans, but thinks dwarves are a pain"
>DM reads it and smirks
>Every NPC in the game hated my character
>Every NPC shopkeeper knew me, and hated me and called me a "human loving piece of shit"
>Had to pay DOUBLE price for a backpack, because I was a human lover
>Everyone had a home in the trees, except me
>I had a piece of canvas weighted down with rocks that I slept under, because the Elven Elders knew about my love of human scum, and thus wouldn't allow me to live up in the "Holy Trees"
>I play on.......because why not
>second session, the guards show up and take my weapons
>Because " Human lovers can't be trusted to be armed"
>I make a new bow (-3 attack penalty), and carry on
>I've not said a word about humans IC at all
>Meet a group of human "hunters" in the forest, and try to trade with them
>They tell me "Fuck off Elf scum" and shoot me.
>Wandering elven cleric finds me, the other PC's weren't there
>Elven cleric refuses to heal me, because "You deserve it because of your weird love of all things human"
>I don't go back for a third game.

>>53065385
Which one?
The player who made the snowflake? Or the DM that changes rules on a whim?

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>Arrive in new world/country we thought was destroyed
>On the way to town, get into a sort of fight with the two DMPCs (npcs? eh..) and they split from us.
>We meet up with a merchant who gives us a ride and tells us about the Judgment
>Judgment is a semi annual holiday where all the criminals are thrown into a pit and forced to fight to the death.
>Oh, ok, so we're going to get arrested. We discuss this ooc in our private chat (dm doesn't mind tabletalk just to be clear.)
>We get to town, a merchant rips us off
>A guy bumps into me and tries to start shit, but my pc is really calm guy so I just apologize and move on
>A little girl is running a shop, clearly we could steal but we pay and when she gives wrong change I politely correct her
>We're not really murderhobos so we don't start any trouble anyway
>cultist attacks us, we try to escape but are magically prevented from doing so
>Kill him, get out of there
>Get to the docks to try to find a boat to where we're going
>It's early evening, still light out, docks have two guards patrolling and not many people
>We lay low as we cross to where the boats are, hoping to find someone to book passage with
>'roll stealth'
>I roll well, monk rolls well, bard rolls an 11. (pic related)
>'you trip on a fish, it hits the guard in the face'
>guard is immediately agitated and starts giving the bard trouble, asking where he's been
>bard explains what actually happened
>'who's.. WE?' (he hasn't noticed us)
>bard gives a perfectly reasonable explanation and rolls a 17 on his deception(??) check
>the word 'cult' sets the guard off, as this world is very suspicious of cults apparently, and he cuffs the bard(no check) and drags him off
>after they leave back towards the fight scene, I ask the other guard some questions
>find out that the ferry leaves for judgment tomorrow, and our destination is on the way
>'you're not going there though-... judgment is MANDATORY'

to be continued..

>>53065421
A character with a mundane skill like "runs well" is a snowflake?

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>>53065211
>>a weird edgy wizard who practiced "the forbidden arts of necromancy", despite being told that necromancy was actually legal and socially tolerated in the region

>>53065421
The dm. A running centric fighter is kind of retarded but I mean it could work. Changing mechanics without telling your players beforehand is kind of shitty, but doing so in a way that guts one of your characters concepts is a dick move

>>53065447

>I explain we will totally go to judgment, just wanted to see that city
>he's very suspicious. 'WE?'
>'my friends and I.' I'm just one person so apparently 'we' is suspicious.
>he sees the monk's pet giant lizard
>'look out, a monster!' cries the guard, blowing his whistle without any chance for me to stop him or explain
>i try to bluff/explain
>no check
>he's going to charge the lizard, I get a strength check (I'm a mage, so I fail)
>monk gets a good initiative roll to intercept the charge, so he sam fishers the guard down
>other guard ties bard to a post and comes back, hearing the whistle
>two more guards arrive as well
>we try to rp, try to threaten the hostage guard, try everything but no checks no way out- they're killing the lizard or fighting us
>bard gets loose and comes back, I say 'I go over to the bard'
>I get nabbed, no check
>'they were standing in a perimeter around the end of the dock you're on'
>monk kills the unconscious guard
>fight
>they have a special move to cuff us, cuffs remove all magic (even our 'chosen one' elemental bending powers we alone have)
>I'm the water chosenone, but he says the dock isn't above the water
>lizard is smacked off dock, into the water
>monk jumps in
>monk gets knocked out, lizard is keeping him afloat
>lizard dies
>we get arrested
>no chance of escape, time skip to judgment
>dmpc saves us
>they're vampires now

>>53065526
>A running centric fighter is kind of retarded but I mean it could work.

I'd just watched a documentary on the guy who ran the 25 miles from Marathon to Athens...

I thought a fast, lightly armored dude sounded fun.

>>53065562
What's the name of the documentary?

>>53065552
Please tell me you dropped that game?

>>53065586
Battle of Marathon? I think.

History channel a couple years ago.

>>53065421
>The player who made the snowflake

It wasn't snowflakey anon.

>>53065616
Ah fuck that, yank documentaries are shit
>WILL RANDY GET TO ATHENS ON TIME
>DUNDUNDUN
>'oh mah gahd'
>*gunshot sounds*
>JOIN US AFTER THE BREAK

>people having shit experiences playing online

They're tabletop games for a reason

>>53065641
>Ah fuck that, yank documentaries are shit

I'm not going to argue that, as I don't really have a good response.

Ya, a lot of HC's stuff is shit. But it beats watching anime.

>>53065660
Anything beats watching anime

>>53065605

Good joke friendo

We're still playing, it's a really fun game but God damn sometimes this dm. It's his first game and he just makes these huge glaring mistakes and doesn't know why we're all grimacing. Still sometimes he's great, so what are ya gonna do..

Tbh I don't even mind the one dmpc, since we're only 3 players. Two is dumb as fuck.

The monk actually refused to leave judgment saying he had to fight, so we all left him. He said he would stay and probably kill his character, so I spent the day mediating by the river right against the edge of the arena and had fire chick cut the wall with her fire daggers enough to weaken it. Dm actually came up with a fair but very challenging series of rolls to bust down the wall and drown the entire arena(95% of population of country) bit by bit. It was like every good roll was % progress... And I just destroyed the roll every time. I took some damage and passed out after but it was fucking great, killed like 30k people because he actually made it possible to complete...

It's bad dming to let me go that murder hobo, but they killed Votig, dammit. And Chompy. I feel pretty good about the outcome.

>>53065675
I have 500 channels on cable
>200 are anime/cartoons/kids shows
>200 are home shopping and ads
>50 are news and religious
>25 are sports
>10 are crime stories
>the rest I watch sometimes.

>>53065211
>a weird edgy wizard who practiced "the forbidden arts of necromancy", despite being told that necromancy was actually legal

This is funny as shit.

>>53065720
>>53065524
In the hands of someone less dumb it could be a fun concept

>>53065421
What the hell kind of games are you playing where "Courier" is a special snowflake concept?

>>53065843
Any fighter concept that isn't a 2handed fighter, is a snowflake?

I dunno man....i just don't understand people sometimes.

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>>53065720

Honestly I think that's a little lame unless the dm had a real reason for it being ok. I'm playing a blood mage in my game and the dm sort of said 7 months in there's no stigma against it... When I kind of expected a little back lash or something? Not trying to be edgy just.. Idk, it seemed like it might come up but apparently it's totally fine, and I feel like that should have been discussed since the default for blood magic is forbidden art etc. We even happened to visit a huge religious library and go into the restricted area so I was like 'I want to take a rare magic book' When we were fleeing and it was on fire, specifically blood arcana since we were about to level up and I was about to take the prestige class and wanted it to make sense. But then months later after the previously mentioned monk judgment death, the player makes a paladin and decides to ask if she'd mind... Dm says nah nobody really knows what it is, whatever. Player conflict is fine, have her try to 'save' me from corrupting l corruption! That sounds way more interesting. I drowned a guy with his friend's blood and nobody cares..

>>53065421
>snowflake
I bet you're the sort of guy who gets mad If someone plays anything other than a brown haired white guy fighter with three words or less of background

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>>53065909

My phone went wild at the end.

Here's a drawing of Votig and Chompy driving the wagon...

>>53065914
It triggers me a bit, yes.

>>53065552
>but he says the dock isn't above the water
>lizard is smacked off dock, into the water

wut?

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>>53066063

Yes.

>>53065909
He knew going in that the region didn't really care too much about necromancy. Even told him why ( . They had a strong history of summoning ancestors for guidance and reanimating the dead to serve the living, so so long as you're not enslaving the blessed ancestors and using the dead for good purposes you're good. If you're not an asshole, being a Ghule-caller is actually a fairly respected position) and what sorts of magic were forbidden if he still wanted to do the whole persecuted mage thing (incidentally blood magic was on that list).

He still decided to be just a dude with a skeleton friend and act like he's doing something shady

>>53066063
lol

That's what I was thinking.

It's like
>There's no water down there
>jump down
>You drown

>>53065789
I meant that the idea of someone trying to play straight a 'evil necromancer practicing the secret dark arts' in a setting where necromancy is normal.

It's amusing.

>>53066097
Lol he could always make it weird I guess

>>53065397
>>Every NPC in the game hated my character
>>Every NPC shopkeeper knew me, and hated me

This shit is the worst.

>>53065240
>I was going to be a long distance messenger type who focused more on getting the message there more than smiting demons
That's creative really, for most ttrpgs

>>53066120
That's what I meant. Just skulking around acting nefarious, but he's actually doing something completely legal that no one cares about

>>53066190

>I make a cookie shaped like a cell phone
>I drive up and down the street holding the cookie to my ear
>I wait for the cops to stop me for using a cell while driving
>hahahahaha

>>53065240
system?

>>53065905
I'm sorry anon

https://www.autism.com/understanding_theoryofmind

>>53066248
>>DM said to keep the sup books limited
Sounds like 3.5 or pf.

Those are usually the big offenders when someone says supplement books.

>DM is named Matthew

I just don't understand

>>53066120
Imo the "can't actually necromance" is fun as well.

I once played with this guy who was all around terrible.

>All his characters were wacky in a way that got in the way of the party, such as a pixie who would play tricks on and steal things from the characters instead of helping
>Was concerned with becoming more powerful than the party, often going off on his own or attempting suicidal actions to try and become powerful
>Usually played sexy female characters, and expected this would give ridiculous RP bonuses
>Had no survival instinct whatsoever and then get mad when his characters died
>Would sometimes decide his character is boring and try to get them killed off
>Defended all this by saying 'it's just a game'

His antics usually came out of nowhere so context won't help much. But some highlights

>At the approach of a hostile army, stripped off his (attractive female character's) clothes and attempted to seduce them into submission. Was genuinely confused by why this didn't do anything.
>Volunteered to be sacrificed by a cult to become the vessel for a lich trapped in the abyss because he thought this would grant him magical powers.
>Drank from a fountain of boiling blood in the abyss. When this harmed him severely, drank from the fountain again. He died.
>Ran off into the woods to grind monsters alone for like a real-world hour
>Forgot to name his monk, so paniced and proclaimed her name was "Ada Wong"

>>53066292
3.5 has no running skill though.

>>53066372
Running was an increasing Constitution check after a certain number of rounds.

There were also feats that allowed to to run full tilt while changing directions, increase running speed, increase base speed, etc.

So it wasn't quite a skill, but had a sort of subsystem

>>53066372
PF has an athletic skill, doesn't it?

>>53066220
>Cops get you anyway because it's illegal to eat while driving.
>Get beat up when you tell them "I wasn't actually eating it!".

>>53065552
>they're vampires now
and i thought the lizard dying was the peak of the story

>>53066462
Sounds like pf or 3.5 then.

>>53066462
>There were also feats that allowed to to run full tilt while changing directions, increase running speed, increase base speed, etc.
>So it wasn't quite a skill, but had a sort of subsystem

I'm not familiar with that system. Can you give me a few examples of what you mean?

Like you have to take (x) feat to turn directions while running?

I was picturing the poster had meant that he was a long distance runner. Does 3.5 allow that somehow?

And what "feats" support Running?

>>53067097
How would you build a "marathon runner", in a game with wizards and Conans?

This is sorta interesting. Like the Empire's messenger in skyrim or something.

>>53067097
http://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/SRD:Run_(Feat)

Um...not a 3.5 player, but I can see how that's handy.

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My current GM seems to only want to fanfic his wanky story about the planes and making it sp00ky. Don't do dungeons or anything - just walk from one boss fight to another with a very small scripted walking sequence linking them together. No trash mobs, no traps, no minibosses - just one fuck off astral bollock, that only magic can kill effectively, over and over game.

It's getting really shit.

>>53066336
Woah.

>have a DM named matthew once
>he makes a DMPC rogue just to kill the party rogue because "his build was awful"

>>53067184
It's shit. You barely run at all instead of charging, and a barbarian who has a +10 feet bonus will be faster than you with no run feat than a sorcerer with the run feat.

I found this out after a critical fail and shooting the barbarian in the butt with my crossbow. He responded poorly.

I also found out how rubbish the run feat was.

>>53067144
Human lv 1 fighter...

Run, Greater endurance, and maybe dodge.

>>53067381
Never played it, but the way it's worded, it sounds handy.

How often do "running" type checks occur? Is this like an every single game thing?

I'd think just running wouldn't require a skill check, but if it did, someone with a RUN specific feat, would be faster than someone without it?

Or am I totally off base?

>>53067435
That would make sense, but unfortunately this is 3.PF we're talking about.

>>53064948
Honest, serious advice: if you're not interested yourself, get out. The chances that it will be fun for both you and the group are very slim. More likely, it'll feel like a waste of time.

>>53064948
I've run the secret spy before, and everyone knew out of character that I was meeting with the villain. They played like they didn't know, and it was a good time.

I'm guessing the fact that he outed you means this one isn't going to go so well... then again, I'm guessing the fact that he outed you ALSO means he'd have hard feelings afterwards. Sucks, man.

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>>53066522
>Get shot to improve the gene pool and for wasting time.
>"He was resisting arrest".

>>53065211
This is the most weeaboo I've seen in a long time.

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>>53064878

Hoo boy, story time:

>invited to second campaign of an existing group, DM is kinda autistic but my friend vouches for him
>pathfinder, roll a ranger bounty hunter joining the party
>dm tells me we'll be in orc territory so I set favoured enemy as orcs, have a good strong build
>RP'ing Ronin/Man with no name style
>we get going fairly quickly, combat starts soon enough and I pwn a bunch of orcs
>Get drunk with half Orc fighter and Human Wizard
>fight almost over so I go eat food for an hour
>We wake up to discover that the Orc has a key on a chain around his neck
>get back
>"excuse me stout adventures but my house is really spooky and I left an important hat that use to belong to my uncle, could you go get it for me?"
>we're in a city talking to some npc
>We say fuck no. We asked if there was any kind of threat and he just kept saying "no just spooky and Im too scared to go back in" so I failed to see why my PC should help out this guy whos just being a wuss. Besides Key is far more interesting.
>we spend the next THREE HOURS talking to his stupid fucking npc's
>DM gets really angry with me
>Back into game, DM tells us that someone stole the key when we weren't paying attention.
>doesn't even give us directions, just lets us "do what we want"
>No matter what check we use we cant identify who took it.
>session ends with literally no more combat
>Look DM in the eye "You really want us to go get that hat dont you?"

>>53067659

It just seems plain retarded to me.

>>53066111
I had a GM who did that shot nonstop. Killed me with 60 feet of falling damage right after specifying i could not fly more than 10 feet up.

>Playing a game called SLA Industries
>Think Cyberpunk after cyberware has gone out of fashion, them mix it up with Call of Cthulhu, Hobo With A Shotgun and the original Rollerball movie.
>Stat up a combat character, the slightly unhinged product of a private 'reform school'.
>It was really just a front for a slave trading group.
>Character happens to be female.
>GM looks over the backstory, grinning.
>"So she was raped in there, right?"
>No. Just no.
>"Aww, c'mon anon."
>Spends a fucking hour trying to convince me to write rape into my character's backstory.
>Not doing it.

Sure, it's theoretically possible to have rape without it being either cringingly awkward or completely underplayed, but I don't trust anyone to actually get it right, least of all this guy.

>have an opening I'm the group since one of the long time players had to leave for work
>put out an add
>younger guy shows up
>three sessions in everything is going great, but then he starts getting into politics
>take him aside after the session and tell him there is no out of character politics at the table, it's best for the group
>he agrees reluctantly
>four more sessions go by without politics
>everything is seemingly going great
>starts going ham at the table about politics, getting angry and yelling at one point
>tell him off, give him last warning
>doesn't show the next session
>he got arrested throwing a brick at a cop

>>53068000
Dare I ask the race of that guy? You know what, dont even answer.

>>53065397
>>53065240
these two need their DMing licence revoked

>>53068109
East Asian, but I'm not sure which nationality.
Other then being a bit political here and there he seemed like a normal guy, we just didn't want any politics at the group outside of mundane municipal stuff like the bridge being built or in game stuff.

>>53067996
>tfw you realize your DM is masturbating to your character.

>>53065914
>>53065970

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EMZponXbUj0

>>53067996
Reverse awkward boner bait. Should of had her be the dyke rapist

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>>53066953

Yea, right after leaving them that night we were camped out and this pointy eared pale woman approaches and talks to us. I've got a quest in this country so I start questioning her but she's weird, Dwarf warns us because he's the voice of reason, bard tries to hit on her. Lizard is like.. looking the direction the girls went and the vampire asks why he's looking that way, I'm like "because [dmpc] went that way, so where's this wellspring.." etc. She answers all my questions then goes to leave but I try to stop her and she slices my hand and licks the blood and hops on her wagon and leaves in the direction of the girls. So, later of course we meet up with them and almost jokingly I'm trying to find out if they got bit by vampires. Cue a fucking weird cutscene where they ARE vampires, and they're mad at us because it's our fault for telling her where they were. Yea.

sigh.. anyway we cured them and he sort of forgot to care about it and never made it relevant and that vampire chick never showed up again. We were expecting her to show up and maybe mind control the girls and we'd get a cool fight where we would try to not hurt them etc? Would have been neat. But as we say, "what happened instead?" "Nothing happened instead." No random encounters... nothing! Not even snow in the frozen north! Very disappointing.

pic related- sharpie on scrap paper, depiction of vampire lady stabbing my goddamned hand

>>53067491
>>53064948

Don't listen to him, keep playing and convince them you gave up on the idea since it's spoiled. Get them to trust you and treat you as a real party member and just win them over, play it straight and even tell the dm this is the truth. You're just playing dnd now.

Then you fucking betray them!

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I've spent the last few months thinking more and more that my GM and the other players were shitty, but... the last few weeks of malaise have got me thinking they're not necessarily bad, just not for me.

Everything in this campaign is irreverently "wacky." The GM doesn't just do accents, he intentionally does the most over-the top, silly voices he can. The gnomes all talk like Christopher Walken. The main bad guy is a talking Russian-accented bear named "Vlodimir Ootin." He wears an ushanka rules the world. We're traveling with a princess that turns into a badger when she hiccups. The fighter's sword sings "you spin me right round" when the attacks. We're on a quest to fight the talking Russian bear's general, who is not!Ronald Macdonald and runs a fast food chain that makes people explode from fatness.

Every week, this is the game. Everyone it. The gm's laughing, the players are laughing, and everyone but me is having a wonderful time.

I'm the odd man out, though. The GM, his wife, our buddies, they're all having a wonderful time with this random wacky bullshit, laughing their asses off whenever the Christopher Walken gnomes come out, and I would be rude to tell these guys who are all my closest friends in the world that their sense of humor is shit and they need to tone the thing they love back a bit.

But on the same hand, goddamn, I wish I could bring myself to enjoy this game. Ive known most of these guys since high school, and I wish I could enjoy the game they run.

It's just, really fucking dumb. I'm pretending to laugh, but I'm not laughing on the inside.

>>53067097
Right, so basically you have two relevant things here: Hustle and Run. Hustle is endurance running, you can run at twice your speed for an hour. Run is used in-combat, and is good for getting away from enemies.

You can Run for your Constitution score in Rounds before making a DC 10 Constitution (not Fortitude) check to continue running for a round. This roll can be increased by 4 with Endurance, and the DC increases by 1 each round after.

Hustle can be used once a day with no issues, but a second time would make you fatigued and incur 1 point of nonlethal damage, multiplying by two for each hour. So 0, 1, 2, 4, 8, etc.

Opposed chases are Dex vs Dex for quick chases, or Con vs Con for long 'endurance' races. It doesn't say if Endurance applies to the latter, but it presumably would. Also, if one character if faster than the other they automatically win so increasing base speed is paramount (But it's hard to boost that without magic.)

If we assume our human fighter has 18 Con (being an endurance runner and all,) they begin with 14 HP and can Hustle for 4 hours over 24 miles and be left with 7 HP, and can March another 8-10 hours before sleeping.

>>53068979

Now... feats. Assuming 3.5.

Your major choices are Run, Fleet of Foot, and Endurance

Run allows you to retain your Dexterity bonus to AC, increases your Run speed to 5x base from 4x base, and gives a +4 Jump bonus. This means you can run 150 feet in a turn.

Fleet of Foot is from Complete Warrior, and allows you to run or charge while turning up to 90 degrees. This is actually really good because it turns a useless gimick into a semi-useful gimmick: Charging is one of the biggest damage dealers in 3.5 if you spec into it, and this allows you to charge around enemies or obstacles.

And Endurance gives a +4 to various checks.

You can also get a Swift trait, which boosts movement speed by 10 and decreases HP by 1 a level. But Traits are a variant rule.
So with a Human Fighter, I'd go 18 Con/15 Dex with Run and Fleet of Foot. Then I'd use the Fighter feats to specialize in either Charging or Ranged Combat.

Mechanically, Barbarians or Scouts (a rogue variant) are probably more suitable for speed but this has potential. Fighters have lots of feats to spec into charging or ranged combat, and can use tower shields to make someone who should be very survivable (if... Kind of hard to place in a balanced party)

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>>53066336
Fuck you buddy

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>>53066336
>he doesn't have a Dungeon Matthew

>>53069007
>>53068979

Thanks anon.

I think I'm following you.
My big question is, in what way would that be helpful to the group? Running to get help?

>>53066097

Sounds like Vvardenfell

>>53069175
You're more useful for transferable skills

The actual ability to run between towns isn't very useful most of the time. Probably only to run back to town for supplies, scout ahead and flee if needed, chase down people, etc.

On the other hand, being mobile and being able to out-run opponents or get somewhere quickly is very useful in a meat-shield or archer. You'll be good at charging, and have lots of HP, and other useful fighter things.

>>53069014
no fak u

>>53069065
>not Dungeon Mattster

>>53068860
You're that guy anon, not because you play horribly but simply because you don't get it/don't manage to enjoy it

>>53070331
That Guy is the guy who causes problems/ruins the fun for everyone.

Simply having no fun does not make someone That Guy.

>>53070387
>Simply having no fun does not make someone That Guy.

He'd best start having fun RIGHT FUCKING NOW.
Or I'll find him. Maybe not today, but soon....

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>>53070415

>>53070427
lol

>>53068860
Smoke weed.

>>53065552
>that whole fucking thing
wew

>>53065292
I would have bailed immediately when I found out the DM didn't know what magic was, even aside the railroading.

>>53068686
Clearly the right move here is to just play straight. They'll be expecting you to turn traitor at every step.

Bonus points for rigging up misunderstandings with the DM. You know, like Flanders 'murdering his wife' level stuff.

>>53065397
>DM says this game setting will be in the middle of an Elven forest, where everyone lives in trees

And you played this shit, why?

>>53068860
Try drugs, its the third leg of the stool known as having a good time.

>>53070387
not having might induce other people to have less fun, even if you don't notice anon
just because >>53068860 doesn't notice that he's causing problems doesn't mean that he isn't

>>53068860
This is what The Adventure Zone has done to our hobby.

>>53069065
>>53069926

>Be me
>Be ForeverDM
>Be named Matthew
I love both of these. Too much.

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>>53065211
>couldn't actually necromance

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>>53065421
>running
>snowflake
Anon, I...

>>53066336
I had a DM named Matt before.
He wasn't a great DM but him and girlfriend cucked one of my buddies that was also playing.
It was kind of hilarious but it ended the campaign.

>>53067097
>And what "feats" support Running?
Run.

Run was a feat.

>>53067253
And you stick around because...?

>>53067996
Why didnt you enter the magical realm?

>"It's a open ended world where you can go anywhere and do whatever you want."
>There's only one plot, and one way to progress it.
Every time. It's not even that I'd mind a more bounded and linear story, but I hate it when they then want you to go stumbling around losing every time-sensitive thing until you find the thread that just so happens to be the plot one. Have it one way or the other god damn it!

>>53065211
>I had a guy in my gurps group who kept making just the absolute worst characters. Just complete shit from both a concept/RP standpoint and from mechanics.
I feel bad because this is basically me and I can't seem to shake it. I see one bad habit and try to fix it only to find I still haven't even seen the tip of the iceberg that is my incompetence.

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First time ever playing a table top game.
walk in on dm and another player talking about "how we're going to deal with him."
I ask what they're talking about, and they describe the most autistic shit ever.
>guy named his wizard "kewl dawg"
>ONLY used AOE spells, even though the party was in >underground tunnels
>when asked to explain him self he said he was chaotic >good, and that "I'm a combat mage, you know that, you >shouldn't have been so close to the enemy!"
>he brought his girlfriend along, but didn't let her play >because she was "doing it wrong" and played for her.
Eventually the party got tired with this, said the PCs are convinced he is a sabatour and needs to die.
dm agrees
After the party ties him up and stabs him to death kewl loudly exclaims that "I'm going to make a new PC! And I'm going to have him kill all of you!"
dm kicked him to the curb pretty fast after that.

>>53072757
literally this. My best friend is our usual DM and he's terrible at just going with the flow of things

>join him and two other friends to play
>make a Half-Orc Barbarian, stoic type that goes into a frenzy in battle
>on a mission to stop some evil wizard and his bodyguards from completing a ritual by the local royal
>friends characters show up mid fight and help me out
>we kill the wizard and his bodyguards in a pretty fun fight
>searching the bodies
>wizard has some minor magical components on him and a big bag of dirt
>choose to analyze the dirt because I put a lot of points into tracking/wilderness skills, maybe there's some kind of clue to be found
>natural 20
>Turns out it's some kind of combination of graveyard dirt and some other things from a land across the sea and it's also used in the ritual circle
>the group decides we should get a boat and go to that land to find out why the wizard needed these components for his big summoning ritual thing
>YEAH WELL SO ANYWAY NOW YOU'RE BACK AT THE CASTLE TO REPORT TO THE KING
>ok... go along with it. he gives us some treasures for stopping the wizard, and the plot is going nowhere now
>uhhh ok so NOW let's use the treasures to pay for a ship to go to that far away land
>OH NO A THIEF HAS STOLEN ALL THE TREASURE!
>go to catch the thief
>barely manage to catch him and subdue him
>we decide to question him
>he manages to break free from his restraints and attacks us again instead of running off
>we end up killing him when we try to defend ourselves from him and our rogue gets a crit
>go to get our treasure back from his body
>he doesn't have it
>spend the next half hour RPing our explanation of the events to the town guard
>by the end of the session we're about 6 hours in, have no idea where to go, no idea what's going on and we don't even have any loot to show for it

one of the dudes we were playing with dropped out after that session too so I never did find out what was up with that dirt

>>53068860
>We're traveling with a princess that turns into a badger when she hiccups.
Reminds me of a shitty furry webcomic with an angel that turns into a rabbit? whenever she sneezes.

>>53064878
>Friend really gets into Fragged Empires
>Decides to run a game for myself and another friend
>Tells us it'll be sandbox so we can explore the setting more
>First session goes great for the first hour or so, steal a ship from two guys and head off to explore
>Third friend joins, decides to play the most irish character any of us have ever seen
>How he acts doesn't fit the setting, sure, but we were just learning the game so I figured we'd take some liberties with it like we've done with every other game
>Apparently the GM wanted us to make and play the stereotypes of our respective character's races
>That campaign ends after the GM shoots down my suggestion to another character to start a salvage business and tells us 'Go back to the planet you JUST murdered people on and escaped' because, despite us starting the session on the note of 'you're in a fight to steal a ship' he only planned out one thing for us to do
>Runs another campaign a few weeks later that is railroaded to hell (Only lasted one session, no surprise)

He keeps wanting to run it again, but no one wants to bother. I like that game but those first two sessions killed my drive to play it.

>>53070893
I like this idea.

>>53065524
DESU my favorite kinds of characters are ones who are good at something but always try to do something they are shit at. For example, a really good rogue who is actually trying to be a paladin. He studies religions and whatnot, but always ends up accidentally stealing from people and "skulking" around people(thats how he prays)

>>53071088
hey man, I think they're pretty cool. Most creative plot ive seen in a while.

>In this game, you're all playing elven kids
>Okay, I'm a child of the Keepers of the Gates of Time
>What? There's nothing like this in this setting.
>Fuck you, GM, you're a moron who doesn't know how to write elves!

The same player:

>Let's play The Riddle of Steel
>Good! I want to use a longsword and a tower shield
>Longswords are two-handed in TRoS and tower shields don't exist at all
>You're the GM, it's your job to make my build work!

>>53074119
>doesnt know how to write elves
>because he doesnt give them chronomancy
You're lucky if your gm lets you fucking bake a cookie as an elf let alone play a fucking timelord.

>>53065240
GURPS?

>>53066361

This post needs more love. I can't imagine any dm permitting a player to wander off to GRIND.

And not even naming a character. I just can't.

I have told this story before, but I can tell it again.
>join a fantasy game (not D&D)
>my character is a sword and board fighter
>our group is completed with two NPCs: one of them looks average, the other has a weapon that is much more powerful than the artifacts that we, the PCs, have
>GM has a DMPC - first red flag
>things happen, we go to a dungeon, murderhobo the un-living crap out of it
>load all the swag on the wagon we got
>middle of the night, demon lady starts to tempt all characters in the party in their sleep
>backstabby PC starts to accuse average NPC of stealing
>lots of conflict
>almost start a fight with weapons in the party
>yadda yadda, the DMPC tells everyone to stand down as she points the crossbow at us
>my character keeps his sword drawn and his shield ready to block anything
>DMPC takes offense to that and is ported away - probably by demon lady
>goodriddance.webm
>go back to town
>more shit happens - mostly us being railroaded: red flag numero 2
>other NPC of the party hates my guts
>follow him to a secluded place to talk shit out and have good RP
>after the discussion GM tells me the NPC had a dagger poised at one of my PC's arteries/weak points
>wtf.jpg
>I protest this and ask why I could not roll to perceive it during the discussion. or a reflex check, an initiative check or anything
>the GM replies that the NPC was an incredible assassin since the beginning. And that story takes precedence over what PCs do, in his campaign

I am glad I left, tbqh senpai

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>friend has been begging to get into a group for years
>someone lets us into a D&D 5e game
>hes a chaotic neutral ex-pirate turned monk
>this is just so he can shoehorn all his favorite things into one character and also be an edgy faggot to everyone we meet
>insists his character is trying to make ammends for everything hes done in his past
>spends every moment in town robbing and scamming people
>almost everything he says is either a deception or intimidation roll
>carries around a pirate flag so he can show it to people and try to get them to be scared of him
>one time we needed information and we captured two people after a fight: a scared guard who willingly surrendered and a fanatical cultist who clearly wasnt going to tell us anything
>friend spends the entire time torturing and trying to intimidate the cultist, breaking the guys arms and legs, taking out his eyes, cutting off his tongue, then finally hanging him from a tree, convinced that the fanatic would eventually talk if he went far enough
>keeps asking the DM when we can go to Waterdeep so he can meet up with his old pirate friends

Its taking him a long time to realize he cant just fuck around and exploit the system like its a video game, the DM is doing a lot to shit on his dreams and show him he can't just do whatever he wants, but its making the campaign drag on to the point where we're lucky to complete a single encounter in a single session because my friend sidetracks the story so frequently.

>>53073209
Oh fuck, I haven't read that in years, thanks for reminding me about my webcomics

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>>53066361
This sounds fake.

>>53067832
This is such a major problem with RPGs altogether. You have Freedom™ to Do Want You Want™ but it's such an obvious illusion.

Always do what the GM is pushing for. The best you can hope for is to have your characters discuss what they'd like to do so the GM allows you to do it down the road.

>>53075579
There have been more horrifying tales.

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>>53075209
I tried rereading it a few months back.

I don't know how I stood it as a kid. It was so damn edgy.

It's still largely to blame for my TF fetish though.

>>53064878
>That guy that feels personally offended if he's not in every game that anyone in his circle are involved with
>Always plays characters that are min maxed for piloting and planing shit
>At best will force his way into being the leader of the party with a bad habit of talking down to the other players IC

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>>53065211

>>a weird edgy wizard who practiced "the forbidden arts of necromancy", despite being told that necromancy was actually legal and socially tolerated in the region.
>>Couldn't actually necromance.

>DM created his own currency system
>The chart he gave us for it was inaccurate the first time we actually traded
>The DM laughed at us when we got ripped off because we had no accurate feeling of what our money was actually worth

>DM tells me Faerie Fire doesn't grant advantage at night
>I point out that, mechanically, it should
>He tells me that it does not, because that's not flavorful, and also makes it too strong for a first level spell. Refuses to budge.

>First NPCs we meet try to kill us.
>We were later told they wouldn't have tried to kill us if we hadn't attacked them first
>But they were soldiers of the nation we'd just escaped slavery from, and we were working on the assumption they wouldn't like seeing us free.
>Fight another cluster of these soldiers a little later.

>Second NPC we meet runs off the moment we approach him.
>Shrug and walk away, not feeling like following him into a trap
>Get attacked by bandits in the night. Try to talk them down, when the de-facto party lead throws a spear in one's face.
>Two party members (including me) run, three surrender, one ragequits.
>DM explains the NPC that ran from us led the bandits onto us, asks why we didn't follow him to begin with.

>Third NPC we meet is among the bandits, but begs for his life and says he's just a researcher forced to help them.
>This one is partly on us, I'll cede that much. The NPC says he's willing to lead us out of here
>During the night, NPC leads more bandits back onto us.
>"Well you didn't roll insight" said the DM.

and finally
>Decide I want to play a kobold.
>We were rolling for stats, and each player (including the small gnome) got 4d6 drop the lowest for stats.
>DM tells me that as a small kobold, I would only have 3d6 drop the lowest for my stats.
>Point out that the gnome gets normal stats.
>DM just says it's different, rambles about "consistency in his setting"

The DM put the game on hiatus cuz people kept leaving shortly after. Can't imagine why.

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>>53078993
>DM tells me Faerie Fire doesn't grant advantage at night

>>53075579
This is the reason that I have 5 or 6 adventure hooks every time I sit down with my players. Also, it is your role as a DM to improvise, the better you get at this the more fun will be had by all. I have atleast 50 extensive encounters, double that in pre-made npc's and adventure hooks is just a concept, the adventure itself unfolds dynamically depending on the actions of my players.

>>53078993
>DM created his own currency system
>>The chart he gave us for it was inaccurate the first time we actually traded

Our dm did something odd with shopping. He found a very old family Bible from the 1800's. The pages were rotted and torn, but the cover was pure leather with an engraved crest on the front, and the Greek alphabet on the back. Very cool looking.
So he printed off various fantasy clothing and other items on this odd paper, and made a catalog of fluff we can purchase.

Sounds gay, but it's really pretty cool. I'll try to get a pic this weekend and use in some thread. There's about 6-700 clothing choices to choose from. All are expensive, but cool as hell.

>>53079235
Btw, he flat out confessed that besides the cool factor, the book helped control player gold.

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>>53079235
Sounds awesome

I used this for the same reason: bleed off the extra finances PC's tended to accumulate

>>53078993
>>DM created his own currency system
Share?

>>53079759
I left the server that had all the resources in it, and I don't have the pic saved.

Sorry.

It involved metal moulded into playing card-esque things as the mainstay currency, instead of coins.

had all sorts of metals. Aluminum, tin, copper, silver, gold, each having its own value.

>>53074387
The rule we were taught at the time was essentially "Don't say 'no' to the players unless it's literally impossible to do something, but punishment is okay." He was our first major That Guy so we really had no idea how to deal with him (being new players and all) and kept thinking he would 'get' it eventually.

When he ran into monsters way more powerful than he could fight alone (very generously confined to a lake I might add,) that should have been his clue to get back to the city. He instead fought them and died, then complained they were too hard for him to kill.

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>playing Lost Mines of Phandelver with bunch of friends, we're all first timers to DnD and pen&paper shit overall
>everyone makes their own chars instead using the premade ones
>party is TN human fighter(me), CN human ranger, CG elf monk and LN dwarf paladin
>ranger is elected as party's face
>we're going to the bandit hangout, to interrogate them about where their main hideout is
>we fight them easily, 4 lvl2 PC's against 4 bandits isn't a problem
>we manage to leave 1 bandit alive, the elf tries interrogating
>bandit isn't exactly keen on giving info
>dwarf paladin unzips mace.exe
>breaking that bandit's leg was enough to scare him to give up info, after a promise of letting him go
>we get all info, and leave
>except the ranger, who goes in, stabs the bandit to death, and when confronted by the elf about why he did it, he just goes "no witnesses"
>campaign progresses normally after that
>until we get to Thundertree
>party's level 3 at this point
>Open Hand Monk, Oath of Conquest Paladin, Samurai Fighter and I don't remember what the ranger took
>DM decides we might have trouble with scaring the dragon away, since people going down to 0 happened already
>makes Reidoth as an actual DMPC druid, that'll just help us with the dragon
>we scare it off, nobody died, but people are pretty low
>ranger decides he'll kill the druid because, and I fucking quote, "no witnesses"
>instantly everyone asks him OOC is he planning to kill the entire village afterwards as well, because no witnesses?
>"maybe"
>decides he's still gonna fight the druid that help them
>loses the fight, druid is angry
>paladin gets close to the druid, lay on hands him as much as he can, leaving 1 point for later
>then approaches the ranger
>"the weak should fear the strong"
>finishes him on the spot, then heals himself for the 1 HP
>paladin is now the party's face and leader, nobody is complaining
>except the ranger player after he makes a new char
Boy I'm looking forward to the rest of the campaign.

>>53080031
Please return here after your next session! I love stories where That Guy gets his comeuppance.

>>53080083
Yeah I'll probably post once next session happens, it's scheduled for next friday, and there's still some side quests left according to the DM
I wonder what shit will he roll

10$ on a CE Rogue

>>53079783
Good luck carrying a tin playing card for an extended amount of time.

>>53080115
Yeah, you should probably be wary of literal backstabbing once he's back in the game.

>>53080158
Well my character never wronged anybody, I'm just swinging at enemies with a +1 longsword or a halberd, depending on how I feel, while also planning our approach to encounters, and the Paladin isn't going down easily, fucker's a walking slab of steel fueled by his hatred of literally everything and everyone except me, because "no pointy ears, and has balls for melee combat"

>>53073209
Slightly damned... I think?

>>53066344
"Haha, fear me and my dark ancient command over the dead!"
>"Bro, necromancy is legal, you don't have to-"
>Notcromancer stabs a bandit to death
"Now, stay! And guard this location for the rest of your unlife!"
>Dead bandit rots where he lays
"BEHOLD! The dead do as I command! FEAR ME! Now if you need me, I shall be in my secret DARK SANCTUM!"
>The dark sanctum is just a rickity old shack outside of town with some half-rotted bandit corpses nailed to the side of the door to "guard" it.

>>53080488
Yep.

Snowy is still cute.

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A few more stories from the adventures of railroad lizard slaying dm.


>be on outskirts of town, in a forest
>fighting a slime monster
>my arcane device got fucked up and I can't cast spells for this combat (it's complicated.)
>I get a good arcane lore check on slime and learn that fire will kill it
>I have lamp oil and flint/tinder, just need a stick to make a sort of torch to smack it
>"I grab a branch or something"
>"Roll a search check."
>7
>"You're convinced there are no branches in the entire forest lol"
>I manage to throw oil on the slime and let the bard cast a fire spell
>"I want to find some water(not sure why)"
>"Roll search"
>roll low
>there's a bucket of water 2 rounds away
>I spend 2 rounds getting there, get the bucket, he tells me I can't double move with it or it'll spill
>I literally just got my magic waterbending powers, fire dmpc is already creating flames in her hands at will during conversations
>spend 2 more rounds slowly doing whatever I needed water for
>Whole point of baiting out this monsters v. villagers fight was I needed blood. I wanted to take an injured villager to inn where my bloodflower was and put some blood on it. I'm a doctor.
>npcs die, nobody just gets hurt, hit points don't work that way basically
>dmpc got hurt pretty bad but I treated her so after combat she's just fine because medicine it really fucking good apparently
>continue to cut myself to feed stupid evil flower so I can cast spells again


to quickly sum up why my bloodflower was broken, he fucking destroyed it because he forgot it was my entire backstory/quest and my arcane device.

>>53069014
Dio isn't impressed by Kakyoin's attempts to fell him

>>53065211
>wannabe necromancer who can't actually necromance
10/10 concept, shame it was wasted on such an edgelord pos.

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>>53080696

Let's see what else...

>so the dmpcs are vampires
>sort of. they just need blood now and then. idk, he kind of got bored of that I think because it rarely came up, we cured them eventually.
>but before curing them I tell the one girl maybe we can stave off the symptoms (before realizing they didn't exist) with some magic
>the cure for vampire curse is to jump into the pure aether of the magic wellspring
>bloodflowers grow next to the wellspring
>bloodflowers only grow in 'pure water'
>therefore, pure water = aether water?
>I grew a bloodflower, and water is my element. Meaning, I can create a faux-wellspring of aether infused water that might stave off curse. You feel me?
>I tell the dmpc this and am excited to use this flawless logic to help her
>she agrees
>Set up a bath, enchant the water, step outside for her to bathe
>now this is the part where you expect it either works and my character is a smart cool guy who helped OR maybe something goes wrong but she calls for help and I help her, or maybe I see her naked and there's a dumb 'b-baka' type cliche anime scene but at least something happens, right
>nope.
>the water is bad for her, but she like... converts it all to fire aether somehow and basically 'defeats' my water aether which was hurting her
>this chick is better at water magic than the water guy?
>she's allergic to my magic?
>she's rejecting me in a metaphorical way?
>she tells my character what happened but is excited because her vampireness is lessened
>my character is upset and concerned about almost killing her
>she acts like it's fine
>this is never mentioned again
>literally just a 15 minute cutscene of her taking a bath for no reason other than to have it work but not for the reasons that make sense and to sort of prove me wrong(?) I don't even know how to feel about it


anyway she's the romance option for the game, we see how that works out, since we've been deemed incompatible by the universe

>playing DnD
>DM says we smell something almost like a skunk from further in the cave we're in
>I say someone (namely the ranger with proficiency in Nature) should attempt to identify what it may be from so we might have an idea of what we're getting in to
>His response is literally "I have no idea what it could be, why would I roll a nature check?"
>He's a ranger with a background of living in the wilds and extensive knowledge of the creatures in the surrounding area
>I try to tell him to think about it in-character
>He asks why
>"We're playing a roleplaying game"
>"I don't want to roleplay I just want to fight"

When he actually does attempt to roleplay, he always takes anything personally. An argument between characters becomes an argument between players when he's involved. He such a piece of shit. He also wears diapers and hasn't brushed his teeth in a century. I fucking hate him yet everyone else just doesn't care.

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>>53066336
>named Matthew
>forever DM

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>>53080912
I know someone similar to this, in regards to taking too much personally, anyway. It burns. Problem is is that the other members of my group are all so passive that no one backs me when I try to talk with him about it, and on more than one occasion, I've been the one getting yelled at for 'being disruptive'.

Played the first session of a campaign last weekend. Don't know if I'll show up for the next one.
>5e campaign, GM has said he's got a loose idea he won't tell us about and will modify it along the way to fit our characters
>I'm a half-elf fighter fashioned after a Bloodborne hunter, has a hatred of monsters and of evil, no real motivations but to get by while doing all the good he can through his vigilante means
>Other party members include a halfling thief, a dwarven barbarian, and another who I don't remember because he literally did nothing all session
>We've been brought into a town after completing a job escorting a circus caravan- some sort of annual festival is occuring and we find ourselves at a tavern
>Every time he's asked, the thief just wants to steal from someone
>I decide to play cards amongst who I presume to be criminals, trying to overhear anything interesting
>Dwarf just starts threatening people for money
>After a while, a red-cloaked man bursts in and kills the dealer of my card game, I give chase, so does our thief
>Barbarian starts playing with the corpse, trying to entertain people for no reason and no gain
>Thief and I catch the assassin
>While I question him, the thief just takes his pendant and runs off to sell it
>Because I'm not a charismatic character, I can't get info out of the assassin and thus kill him
>We get a local vendor to contact the town guard for us, since we don't know where to go, I have to stop the thief from stealing from this guy/his store
>Thief steals from the guard while I report the crime
>Barbarian gets trampled while people flee from the bar where a guy's head just exploded
>fourth player has been silent the whole time
>"[fourth player], what have you been doing this whole time?" -DM
>"ah I guess I'm just drinking lol"
>end session
The worst part is, the GM seems really good, the players are just spastic retards.
>end session

>>53079235
>He found a very old family Bible from the 1800's. The pages were rotted and torn, but the cover was pure leather with an engraved crest on the front, and the Greek alphabet on the back. Very cool looking.
>So he printed off various fantasy clothing and other items on this odd paper, and made a catalog of fluff we can purchase.

That, plus the guy yesterday talking about a crystal ball (or something similar), with a cell phone, to "call an NPC expert".........

I'm stealing both of those ideas, and implementing them in our next game.

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>Bad GM
Had a lot of them over the years, but I'll tell the story of the worst GM I ever had, meaning that he hosted a game that absolutely nobody enjoyed, not even him.

>browsing roll20 for WoD games yeah, I know, there's my problem
>find a V:tR game set in 1944 NY
>ST is some kraut that is really into the '40s America setting
>ask a shitton of questions about everyone's character
>spot a couple inconsistencies of sheet and backstory info
>all in all it seems good
>we start as humans instead of vampires
>session ends and we're still humans
>warning sign, but I ignored it
>second session comes around and we still haven't talked about anything vamp related
>playing human detective gets really boring after he refuses to tell me what was the name of the person I was investigating
>"You didn't ask her mother"
>obvious vampires are stalking each of us everywhere the whole session
>last 5 minutes of the game we all get attacked by them and get turned
>he assigns clans to us based on "who we impressed"
>mine is a Nosferatu of a blind bloodline
>current character ark gets completely derailed and all my belongings got burnt
>mfw

But wait, there's more!

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>DM had really bad breath
>Nobody wanted to tell him

For the love of God guys, basic hygene is not rocket science.

>>53082627
>two in-game weeks pass
>we all are informed that we'll be moving in with each other's characters & a DMPC
>arrive at the safehouse
>"Roll Predator's Taint"
>flag as red as the heart of Beijing
>everyone makes it but me and I frenzy
>houserules how frenzy works so I don't get my ass kicked
>make it clear IC that I don't want to stay with them since the most hated person in my PCs unlife forces him to do so
>attempt to leave the safehouse forever
>Blind Slavemaster informs me I can't leave the area because of a war with VII
>there_goes_the_sandbox_promises.fuck
>get railroaded to a quest to find the local Baron's favorite ghoul
>pretty decent RP and tactics all around
>all return to the safehouse and end the session with everyone going to sleep
>roll for my Nightmares flaw and fail
>ask Krautteller if I get any XP now or next game
>he sounds incredibly confused for some reason
>next day he sends me a message about my "Nightmare Merit"
>explain to him how Nightmares fuck up my rest and hinder my Willpower replanishment
>"You didn't roleplay that! This isn't a ROLLPLAYING game! You will either roleplay your Flaw or I'll give you no XP!"
>stop answering to him after 5-6 replies from me and an adamant refusal to understand I can't RP the results of the very last action in a game
>next game he passive-aggressively reworks the way XP rewards work in his game making my Nightmares a completely worthless hindrance
>make up an even more bullshit excuse and leave for the day

Cont.

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>>53082835
>return for one more session
>me and a Daeva player are low on vitae and decide to go feed
>Krautteller wants the entire hunt to be RPed instead of condensed to a single roll
>Daeva wants to feed on strays so he wont harm anyone
>there are no strays in the kraut's NY
>get bored so start playing vidya
>second hour is the customary 1-on-1 exposition dump to the group's chick
>some stupid shit about Jesus being the first vampire and the jews bringing vampires to America
>suddenly I'm mentioned
>want to feed on the homeless but they don't exist either
>stalk people near a bar
>a lot of "do it my way or fail" situations that are impossible because of my skills
>get infuriated after he autofails my attempt to speak to my mark
>he gets pissy and tells me the bartender is still inside
>try to trick him into turning his back on me by asking for a drink on the counter behind
>"He reaches below the counter and fills a glass-"
>giving a shit.exe has stopped working
>assault the bartender and drink every drop of blood in his body
>steal his wallet, the register and lock the bar behind me
>spitefully has me roll 3 degeneration rolls but no apples today
>shitsire appears and tells me about hunters or some shit that I pay no attention to
>final scene of that shitshow is the Daeva player asking the other two to stake him so he wont go in frenzy and kill anyone
>Kraut has them roll ATTACKS against him for some reason and he falls into torpor because of the massive wounds
>last verbal exchange is the Daeva lampooning on how stupid his Sire is to which Kraut gets greatly offended at and kicks him from the game
>leave along with him

Then he proceeded to alienate every other player that wanted to play his game and drove away the one other woman that wanted to play with them. I'm glad that me and Daeva-bro sent his ass into meltdown.

>>53065552
railroading to the max

>>53064948

Well, i figure someone's gonna roll with it and pretend they don't know. But if they expect you to roll with it, and someone, IC accuses you of spying, just play Frank Drebin/Ichimaru Gin. "Well, crap. What gave it away?" And just play as your real sheet. and follow the group as a really ineffective spy.

If applicable, pull a heel face turn and use your "fake" sheet as your real one for the final battle.