>You are that guy What are your (maybe last) thoughts?

>>53029722
>I have the coolest knife ever

>>53029722
> That is one ugly motherfucker.

>>53029722
>Could be worse. Might be tyranids

I regret nothing

>>53029722
I should have offered a drink to that canoness.

>>53029722
>Why did have to be such an asshat? All I needed to do was stop being a disruptive dick... Oh well. Why change my ways now, if I'll be dead soon anyway? I roll to rape.

>>53029722
"Do you realise that the horns make you look like a fucking idiot?"

>>53029722
>I'm still more scared of the Commissar than of you

i think i left the oven on.

>>53029722
use the dead guardsman as a weapon

[panicked autistic screeching]

File: 1493671961240.jpg (151KB, 640x1004px) Image search: [Google]

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>wounded mortal guardsman makes a last stand with a knife against a traitor marine in the hopes he may buy time for his world
>traitor marines scared shitless at the thought of leaving the eye of terror without muh patron god

who really has Know No Fear?

>>53029722
Bravely run away

Only one?

>>53029722
"RIP AND TEAR!"
doomguy.jpg

If i kill myself does my soul get possesed?

>>53029722
>Wrong room, sorry. Have a nice day. Is that guy ok? Do I need to call somebody?

>>53029722
I dive toward the tail in the back. Hoping it will miss me and strike the monster behind me.

>>53029722
>You are not the most ugly thing I kill today"

>>53029722

>thank the emperor i have fate points left

You may have forsaken the Emperor traitor, but I will not.

>I hope I can get this knife into my neck before he takes me back to his mutant rape dungeon

>>53029722
>Fuugg :DDDDD

>>53029722
How long's left on that damn melta bombs fuse?

>>53029874
Lmao

This is my duty. This is what I signed up for. Long live the imperium. Long live the emperor. May the golden throne stand for a million years, and a million more after that, for as long as it stands, I will fear no man, nor demon, nor even a god. As long as the throne stands, so shall I. This is what we signed up for.

>>53029722
This is why you always reserve a grenade/bomb

>>53029722
>looking behind the chaos marine
>You're late, Commissar.
> Chaos marine look behind him
>Yell SNEAK ATTACK!!! and try to stab the motherfucker.

gg ez no re :^D

*rolls under u*
*unsheaths chainblade*

nothin personel kid

Fuck.

Whatever I'm thinking, it's in The Wonder Years voice

File: 1493718640589.gif (13KB, 250x194px) Image search: [Google]

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>>53030035

>>53030296
Last words the Guardsman hears is the Chaos Marine saying "Benis XD"

File: DOOM.jpg (214KB, 767x1041px) Image search: [Google]

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>>53029722
>YOU ARE HUGE!
>THAT MEANS YOU HAVE HUGE GUTS!
>...RIP AND TEAR YOUR GUTS!
>RIP AND TEAR!

> Well he just stepped on the pressure trigger. It was a good plan. Shame the escape route is blocked.

>>53029722
I teleport behind him

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>>53029722
>Ok. I get one hit, that much is clear. One. And no single strike will kill this dude. Maybe not even phase him. So I gotta make it count. Even if it's not there, even if it doesn't get through all the armor, even if it makes my death all the more painful and slow-

>I'm gonna saw his goddamn mutant dick off.

>>53029722

At least he's not Slaaneshi.

>>53029722
> Oh sweet emperor, please be a Khonate and not a Slaaneshi.

>>53029722
>they only sent one?

>>53029722
>I wish I could've one of the mooks that were killed off by Vader in Rogue One, like Jerry. This is just insulting. The union really has gone to shit.

File: keks.jpg (60KB, 540x509px) Image search: [Google]

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>>53030024

>>53029722
>Ain't no Emperor's Child

>>53029975
Considering that everything except protected Eldar and possibly Tau souls get devoured by chaos?

Good luck.

>>53030270
>rolls
>not tactical somersaults behind

2/10

>>53029722
>There's a good chance this guy will fuck his rolls

File: I SMELL HERESY.gif (3MB, 430x242px) Image search: [Google]

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>>53030326
Way to fall to Khorne, idiot.

File: Emperor 3.jpg (141KB, 1111x1920px) Image search: [Google]

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>>53031334
The Emperor Protects.

File: fug of war XDDDD.png (20KB, 713x647px) Image search: [Google]

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>>53030321
I roll to stick benis in anus XDDDDDD

>>53031387
>DOOM guy
>Falling to Khorne
Nah, he must kill the daemons

>>53029722
"Heh. Mum always said this would happen."

"P-Praise the dark gods! I have accomplished all that you asked, my Lord!"

>>53031470
yeah Doomguy is waaaay too goddamn angry for Khorne

>>53029973
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q657rEkgfKs

Doom style game where you're a lone Guardsman who's ship has been boarded by the forces of chaos when? I want to rip and tear some Chaos Marines no matter how impossible it would be realistically.

>Hastur, Hastur, Hastur.

*unsheathes chainknife*
Heh, this will be easy
*teleports behind the chaos marine*
Nuthin personnel, heretic
*slices him into a million pieces*

>>53029722
"I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.

Do what any other red-blooded guardsman would do.
Charge while screaming "FOR THE EMPEROR"

File: cadiantrans.gif (28KB, 262x300px) Image search: [Google]

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>FOR THE EMPEROR!!!

>>53031387
>doomguy ever falling

Chaos would shit a collective brick if Doomguy ever entered the Warp.

>>53032315
>YOU'RE HUGE
>THAT MEANS YOU HAVE HUGE FEELINGS
>RIP AND TEAR YOUR EMOTIONS!

>>53029722
>Okay, all I have to do is hope he fails his To Hit roll of a 3+ or his To Wound roll of a 3+.

>prays he rapes my ass with his huge space marine cock before he brutally murders me.

>"maaan a heroic death and no one is even around to witness it."

>>53032315
If Doomguy makes it into the Warp, the universe is going to end, because he will murder the Warp and the resulting screams will wipe out existence in the desperation to escape his wrath.

>>53031387
The Praetorian Armor protects him from demonic taint and steals power from the Warp every time he kills a demon (therefore making the death permanent). In addition, the demonic taint his armor absorbs powers him up. In theory, if he kills enough demons and absorbs enough power, he could probably build up enough momentum to kill the Chaos Gods.

For Emperor and Imperium!
The Emperor Protects!

>>53032559
*Praetor Suit

>>53032559
So every Chaos God is just gonna be sitting in their dark throne, clicking their fingers, hearing weird popping noises outside as trillions of daemons fall to the exponential ripping and tearing, before he just bursts in like a living jet of righteous anger to 1-2 their face into porridge?

>>53032578
FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOUR USELESS EMPEROR. FUCK CHAOS. FUCK EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU COCKSUCKING ARROGANT TWITS. CAN'T EVEN BERSERK APART CHAOS RIGHT.

>>53029722
"Hello gorgeous, come here often?"

>>53032608
Picturing that happening just obliterated my sides

"What the fuck is Slaanesh Patrol?"

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>>53032608
>So every Chaos God is just gonna be sitting in their dark throne, clicking their fingers, hearing weird popping noises outside as trillions of daemons fall to the exponential ripping and tearing, before he just bursts in like a living jet of righteous anger to 1-2 their face into porridge?
In a perfect world, yes.

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>>53029722
Good luck fitting through that door!

>>53032637
Khorne all

>NO PLEASE LET ME BE YOUR WIIIIIIIIFEEEEEE

as his head gets pulled out through his dick back up his ass out through his own throat and then tied in a knot around his nuts

>>53032510
reminds me of that bit in Gaunt's Ghosts where a platoon has a heroic last stand that no-one sees.

Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>53029722

FOR THE EMPEROR!

rolling my last attack

>For the Emperor!

The only correct answer.

>>53032918
>>53032510
The Emperor sees your last stand, is that not all that is needed?

>>53032918
>>53033010
aye, but the passage still gets me every time.

>Nineteenth Platoon were about five hundred meters from Old Hive's north entrance when they saw the gates close.
>Skerral Stopped in his tracks, and pulled the men up. Half his unit was dead. He ejected a cell from his lasrifle and slammed in a new one.
>'Come on,' he said, turning back to face the slope at the waves of assault sweeping in. 'Lets see how many we can kill.'
>The remnants of nineteenth lasted seventeen minutes from the time the gates closed. They accounted for one hundred and eighty-nine enemy casualties. No one witnessed their heroism.

>>53029722
Well shit.
>goes to stab
>fails
>killed

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>>53032559
>Khorne can't corrupt Doomguy.
>He gets the second best thing.

>>53030005
Kill yourself.

>>53029722
>Should have stayed in school

>>53029722
>You call that a knife, punk?
>Nah, THIS is a knoife
>And it's bigger than yours

>>53029722
"At least my armor doesn't make me look like a faggot."

>>53029944
>who really has Know No Fear?

loyalist marines

>>53033071
So good

>>53031334
Human souls don't get devoured by Chaos, no Chaos God can claim them unless they worship a Chaos God. It's why Eldar are so fucked without a soul stone, because their entire race is claimed by Slaanesh.

>>53029722
>This is fucking bullshit.

Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>53029722
WITNESS ME, TRAITOR!

AVE IMPERATOR

>>53029722
>Always knew they'd have to send one of you fuckers to try and put me down, might wanna call for backup.

>>53032110
Well, I suppose it shouldn't be too difficult to adapt Age of Sigmar's Hinterlands' Realm Master campaign to 40K.

>>53029722
I clearly state that I am Alpharius. He allows me to leave because suicide isn't acceptable in the imperium.

>>53029722
>"So can I get like, one solid stab in on you before you tear me in half?"

Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>53029722
I swing.

>>53029722
>It's probably winter back home

>>53029722

Yeah you'll probably kill me no problem but that tentacle back there? Yeah that's right, I killed your bitch you chaos fucking faggot.

Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>53029722
I roll grapple

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>>53031305

>>53029722
>join the army they said
>see the world they said
>i'd rather be sailing

>>53032943
>>53035680
>>53037110
Man, you guys just have no luck today. It's like this guy is meant to-

>>53037181
Huh. Well, fuck. Not only do I not know how the DH system works, but we've also got to figure out fucking grappling...

>>53037849
u roll d10s and add your modifiers
DH is pretty simple and fun system. Rules lawyers can abuse them pretty easy, for example a space marine's strength score means that a single Marine can carry two Basilisks on his back

>>53029722
>PISS FUCK SHIT ANUS
>EMPEROR SAVE ME
That's a chainsword, right? I can try to fight the marine with it and even succeed.

>>53032182
doesn't work if he doesn't care aboutcha he doesn't

Rolled 9 (1d20)

I roll to bluff

>>53029722
FOR THE LAST FUCKING TIME, I'M NOT GIVING YOU ANY GENEROUS GIFTS

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>>53029722
I roll to attempt gif related but with my chain knife. with 40k rpg rules, lower is better.

Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>53038693
god damned dice didn't work the first time.

>>53029722
>Did I leave the stove on?

>I never got laid
>I never found my waifu
>I have no friends
>I am still going to kill you.

>>53037909
>u roll d10s and add your modifiers
What? No. It's a d% system, and you must roll under the relevant stat+competence; The lower you roll, the better the result.
I wouldn't call it fun. It's pretty standard and straightforward. But it does the job. Combat is pretty slow though. Gladly it only takes one or two turns before someone dies.

Start singing ...

Some folks are born made to wave the aquila
Ooh, they're bold, proud and true
And when the band plays "Hail the Emp'rah"
Ooh, they point the cannon at you, Emperor

It ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no praetor's son, son
It ain't me, it ain't me; I ain't no fortunate one, no

Some folks are born silver spoon in hand
Emperor, don't they help themselves, oh
But when the dimeman comes to the door
Lord, the house looks like a rummage sale

It ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no governor's son, no
It ain't me, it ain't me; I ain't no fortunate one, no

Some folks inherit stars in their eyes
Ooh, they send you down to war, Emperor
And when you ask them, "How much should we give?"
Ooh, they only answer More! more! more! y'all

It ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no noble terran's son, son
It ain't me, it ain't me; I ain't no fortunate one, one

It ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no fortunate one, no no no

>You fucking piece of shit. You used to be a paladin of human kind, chosen among the best, blessed by a God and you yet turn his face from him for some selfish childish reason. I am no one, just an agriworld boy and here I am holding my guts after a bolter bullet pierced bot my armor and torso and with his combat knife drawn and ready with what little life is left in my body. You may kill me yet the scare I will leave in your self esteem will last forever and will never be washed by wathever "blessing" your shitty gods will concede.

>>53029722
>I really hope that isn't shit running down my leg.

>>53029736
i subscribe to this, simply because I am a knife lover

>>53032110
There's always the Taliban way. Or the All Guardsman Party way, which is kind of the same thing but using any NPCs you find instead of yourself or roadside garbage.

>>53029722
>Were I fall ten will take my place, and were they wall a hundred, and were those fall a thousand shall step forward. So strike me down, for I am the harbinger!

Alternatively

>How in the Emperors bame can he git through the door with those stupid looking horns?

>>53032339
No, this is Doom/40k, not Evangelion.

>>53029722
>Jokes on you. I have already pulled all the pins of my grenades!

>>53032299
>filename
Do you have to smear every thread with your SJW propaganda?

>>53033071
>Nineteenth platoon
What the fuck? A platoon is 30-40 guys. That would mean the unit one size category up has atleast 570 guys. That's a brigade. Don't IG have companies? What the fuck where they thinking?

>>53039172
It's bait.
Don't be that guy who responds to it.

>>53039228
No, they just have a lot of people.

>>53029722
>he still doesn't know there are hundred guardsmen behind him

>>53039257
It's a transparent background image. If anything is bait, it's the response.

>>53029722
>I believe in the triple crits

Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>53029722
I throw a brick at him!

>>53039284
>Reinforcments storm in to find a wounded guardsman and a chaos marine arguing over a set of dice about who gets to disembowel the other based on the results

>>53029722
>Sure I'm gonna die, but at least I didn't shit myself like Johnson did. Wait, fuck I just remembered that according to the medicae, all dead bodies shit themselves. Now everyone will think I shit myself. Does that mean Johnson shit himself before dying or after?

File: tumblr_nqj8wxph2u1s2wio8o1_500.gif (2MB, 500x333px) Image search: [Google]

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Rolled 31 (1d100)

Emperor have mercy

>>53029722
>Gotta get up so I can die standing

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"I'm glad i fucked that female commisar"

>will there every be a IG horrorgame

I ROLL TO THROW THE BRICK AT KHARN!

>>53029722

Fuck it.

>Scream for The Emperor and charge.

>>53030035
This

>>53039274
No you fool, the comment calling the response to the image bait was itself the actual bait. Don't respond to it!

>>53029722
The dominos is here!

>>53029722
"I'm going to be killed by Armless the Harmless? Throne Fuck Me. If I can get him in a bear hug and detonate the Krack Gernade in my chest, I'll die a Martyr."

>>53032559
>The Praetorian Armor protects him from demonic taint and steals power from the Warp every time he kills a demon (therefore making the death permanent).

You do realise that DOOM's hell is infinite? So it really doesn't matter how much Doomguy kills. His hatred of demons is his true prison, because he'll always be stuck killing demons in hell. Forever. Because the demons are infinite.

>>53029722
>I was two weeks from retirement.

>>53029722
>What are your (maybe last) thoughts?
"Eh figures; well Stupid, what are you waiting for? Let's get this over with"

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>>53031334
The Emperor takes their souls and protects them actually unless, as another person said, they worship a Chaos God, in this case they get bumfucked by daemons for eternity.
There's olenty of books where Imperials see the Emperor when they die, and He smiles upon His faitful servants.

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>>53035680
>Witness me

Reminder that Black Templars Warboys are canon thanks to based Haley.

>>53029722
>what are your last thoughts?
"If I trick him into thinking there's something behind me I'm protecting, maybe he'll kill me quickly."

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>>53029722
>I have slaughtered the loyalist scum just like you commanded, lord. Will I get a cool new demon armor and some hot demon bitches now?

>>53029722
Attack. Terminators only have one wound. If he misses I have like 1/54 of killing him

>>53040646
No, there are infinite Hells in Doom because the multiverse is infinite, but Hell itself is not infinite. Doomguy has genocideded entire Hells before being trapped in his sarcophagus. Anyway, I'm bringing this up because in 40k, demons don't die, but just pop back into the Warp and heal up before going on a rampage again. The Praetor Suit is a hard counter to this because it absorbs the demon's power to power up Doomguy and prevents the respawn.

Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>53029722

>I hope you choke on me you son of a bitch

Then I roll to attack.

>>53042376
This is either great or pathetic.

>>53042423
>>53042376
In Dark Heresy, he tripped and impaled his face on the CM's boot spike.

>>53042376
>>53042475

MEDIOCRE!

>>53042553
Ooh, that's another good one

>Eh, could be worse.

>>53029722
>What are your (maybe last) thoughts?
For the God-Emperor!

>>53029722
>You are That Guy
*teleports behind him*
*stabs him in the back*
-nothing personnel, kiddo

I stun him by posing at him

Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>53045506

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>>53045519

File: bang.png (144KB, 473x360px) Image search: [Google]

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*saw noises*

>>53029722
Probably appreciating the last few moments of my rectal taughtness. Cause boy howdy that ain't gonna be around for much longer

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>>53029722
Not last thoughts, but last words.
In fact, it's a (ring) trick.

>This is... from.... the Emperor....

>>53030050
I came here to post this

>He thinks I'm holding a wound.
>> Gonna let him pick me up and raise me up to gloat.
>>> Then I'm gonna hold my hand out and show him that I'm actually holding a dozen grenade pins in my hand.
>>>> If I timed this right, I'll have just enough time to see this Warpy brotherfucker's eyes go wide before the long-fuse grenades in my backpack blow him straight back down that giant warpy space-anus and go to see the Emprah.
>>>>> I've seen enough shit for a dozen of this guy's lifetimes. I got no fucks left to give, and only one last kek to have.

>>53029722
>Looks tasty.

Dunno why I'd be scared, I've got three hundred pounds of muscle and power armor on the little Guardsman.

>>53032664
underrated

>>53038935
Underrated. Do you think the CSM would at least have the courtesy to let him finish?

>>53029722
Not telling my dad how fucking badass he is for throwing a spoon at my mom and then divorcing her.

>>53029722
there is no thought, perhaps out of fear, perhaps out of defiance, but i thrust my revved weapon into him.

may the emperor have mercy on me.

>>53029722
>'I wonder how fast I can jam this knife into my eye?'
>'Faster than he can grab me?'
>'Guess we'll find out.'

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>>53029722
he he...ohhhh right

>>53039228
What constitutes a Regiment in the Imperial Guard is totally random, as are their naming conventions. It could be the 19th Platoon, A Company, and A Company is comprised of 1st, 6th, 19th and 20th Platoon because they create a new platoon instead of reforming it after the last was annihilated.

"You're a big guy."

>>53051499
>Tell me about Khorne, why does he want the blood?

>>53033071
Gaunts Ghosts is the most Tearjerking Warhammer 40k Novel Series for me, because it has so much grim and so much light. The losses hurt so much more after the heroism and the betrayals are so much worse when you've seen things starting to look good.

>>53051533
>"Lot a loyalty for a filthy traitor"

>>53051588
Reminder that Warmaster still has not come out.

Seriously, what is the fucking hold up, that damn book was supposed to come out back 2013.

>>53029919
>>53029998
>>53030005
these guys knows what's up

>>53051499
>Uh, you don't get to bring traitors.

>>53051499

>Magos Pavel, I'm Ordo Xenos

>>53051592
If I take that helm off, will you die?

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Ave Deus Imperator

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>>53029722
"Knew I shouldn't have joined an NPC army!"

>>53051775
"They work for the armless one, the Warmaster"

The gypsy woman was right.

>>53029722
Dice+1d20

Gotta channel my inner Marbo

>>53029722
"fuck you traitor"

>>53029722

You have yet to see my werecat form!

>>53029722
>The HFY guys lied to me! Endurance running him did nothing!

>>53029722
I die with a prayer to the Emperor on my lips, I have earned the right to call myself a man!

>>53029722
"I'm sorry".

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>>53054920
40Keks, anon.

>>53055057
Indeed you have, Anon.

>>53029722
> "Hey. You. Yeah, you. I want a word with you before you kill me, traitor."
>> "Yeah, you heard me. I can't stop you from killin' me. But here's the thing. Do you think I matter? I'm just one man. A standard-issue infantryman; Cadian-Pattern. Cadian-Pattern everything; Cadian Pattern Chainsword, Cadian-Pattern Armor, fuck, it's been thirty years since I owned a pair of LONG JOHNS other than the Cadian Pattern 57fs."
>>> "But you? You're a special snowflake. Hundreds, thousands, maybe a few hundred thousand traitors like you, but each and every one of YOU is rarer than a Mechanicus coggirl who isn't so fucked-up with wires and shit that she's not worth fucking."
>>>> "So you can go ahead and kill me. You can kill men like me until you're swimming in our blood, but guess what? We're just gonna keep coming. You're smart, you're going to be looking over your shoulder for us until the end of days for when they all jump you. Five million guys just like me, all get lost in a rounding error in some scribe's bookkeeping because he didn't carry a one somewhere. I don't matter. I'm nothing. But a thousand guys like me? You can kill a whole hell of a lot of us. But you can't kill us all. And they're all right behind you."
>>>>> "No, I mean it. Remember when I said you should be looking over your shoulder? That was not hyperbole. GET HIM, BOYS!"

>>53029722
>hey boss, onto the next room?
>Tfw turncoat the whole time
>Tfw death to the false emperor
>Tfw I love papa burgle

>>53029722
"Angels shouldn't have fangs..."

>>53038708
Nice roll

>>53029722
If i was in his position i would simply kill myself no way in hell i get captured or killed by chaos no less,i better die by my own hands then die by tratior's hands

>>53033149
Uses axe. Destroys rival daemons by ripping and tearing them from within. Fired a nailgun, a weapon so cool Khorne clearly inspired it.

Berserker confirmed

>>53051649
Hopefully not the marine's barbed schlong

Allahu Ultramar! *explodes in neo-arabic*

>>53029722
>huh, ur an ugly one innit ya, ya spikey cunt.