Has anyone ever tried to GM and just completely fucked it up?

>>52972170
I've killed groups with my GMing. It's usually because I really want to play a game or I want to GM to give the regular guy a break, but i'm just so shit at it.

>>52972170
Several times, for almost every reason you can think of.

I just kept trying and now I am moderately okay at it.

>>52972170
>Be me.
>Want to play a game super badly.
>Been part of groups trying to run it but they've always fizzled out.
>Decide fuck it, build it and they will come.
>Get a ton of people, they're excited, so am I.
>Have a suddenly super busy week at work, put off preparing.
>End up oversleeping with no time after errands and other stuff to prepare properly.
>Suddenly super nervous, drop spaghetti all over the place, forget what I had planned, forget the rules even.
>Ends up fizzling out during the first combat with people leaving.
>Not sure if people will even turn up next week because it was so shit.

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I GMed so poorly it ruined a mairrage.

Sadly, before you ask for storytime, it's not as juicy a story as that sentence would lead you to believe. A girl who had been in our roleplaying group since high school got engaged, and her fiancé wanted to check out the game too to see if it was something he'd want to do.

The session he came over was also my first foray into GMing, both for the group and in general. It was a new campaign, and it seemed like the best time for a new player to jump in anyway when everything else was kind of fresh and new. Unfortunately, I was so sloppy and so unorganized during my session that the player's fiancé thought that she was lying about this being what she did every weekend - there was no way she was spending four hours every week with a bunch of "loser guys" (there was only one other girl in the group) playing something as banal as what I had showed him, and apparently he later decided that we had made up the D&D group altogether to hide the fact she had been cheating on him behind his back.

They called off the wedding because he wouldn't believe she wasn't fucking one of us on the side. My GMing literally ended someone's engagement. We went back to the old GM and stuck with her ever since, but even though the other player got over it to the extent where she makes light of it two years later I still feel like shit.

>>52972837
>apparently he later decided that we had made up the D&D group altogether to hide the fact she had been cheating on him
Seems more like you helped them dodge a bullet there.

>>52972837
That makes me feel a bit better.

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>>52972837

>>52972837
She should have thanked you for showing her that her fiancé is a paranoid psycho

>>52972837

To be honest, this sounds like such a low level of trust that she is better off without him. Your GMing was bad, but in this case, its badness stopped a worseness that is a marriage with a paranoid, suspicious husband.

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>>52972170
1/2 fuck up, but it paid off.


>VtM books are purchased
>Run a game for a couple buddies, lots of combat, lots of intrigue...decent times had
>Next game is 1 buddy of mine, his gf, and 3 other chicks his gf knew
>Try to run a good adventure, with some combat.....girls lose interest, don't focus, get bored
>Complaints start ...
>"this is sorta silly" , "I'm bored" etc
>I call a break, and we grab some food
>Friend tells me the game is fine, but his gf is bored with it, she wanted something darker
>I totally lost the interest of 3/4's of the group
>Go back in, and readjust a bit.......toss in a nightclub scene with sex and lots of gore
>Girls are paying total attention to every word
>Toss in some kink sex......some blood baths.....and some edgy bullshit
>session ends......2 girls stayed to 'practice and read up for next time'
>had my first 3 way
>mfw running a shit game, got me laid

>>52972170
Not yet, but give me a month for the game to start and I'll get back to you.

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>>52972170
No, because my IQ isn't sub 80.

>>52972878
Dude don't beat yourself up if someone is that suspicion of the other person it will never work out. You ended up saving her from allot of trouble in the later on.

>>52973407
Intelligence doesn't really matter. Being able to deal with a group and keeping consistency is more important. I had a friend who went on to become a professor of medieval history completely crash and burn when he tried to run a game.

>>52973035
I want to believe.

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I am DMing my first campaign. It's so shit. I can't properly gauge the power-level of the group so every encounter is either too easy or too hard. The story is cliche but I did that just because it's easier to follow. I'm trying to get into the swing of describing combat in a way that makes it more of a numbers game. "You take 6 damage" turns into "The orc brings his sword down on you, cleaving into your shoulder. A spurt of blood paints the wall beside you as you take 6 damage." but it just ends up being a stuttering mess. I am getting better, though. I designed my first actual dungeon that is more than a winding tunnel with rooms for battles.

>>52972982
>>52972943
>>52972876

>4chan taking the side of a woman in a failed relationship

I'm glad /pol/ hasn't completely infested /tg/ yet

>>52973595
Can you people go a single minute without screaming inchorently about an internet boogeyman?
Jesus Christ.

>>52973580
Back in the day, semi-hot goth wanna be chicks flocked to vtm.......

Not sure if that's still a thing. Anon wouldn't be the first guy to get pussy from a vtm game

>>52973690
can you please find your way back into the cave you crawled out of?

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I'm about to run a game with a custom scifi setting in a system made only for generic fantasy, with friends and strangers mixed together, can't roleplay for shit or write dialogue, I suck at improvisation, and haven't worked out much about the setting before I dump them in. I also speak so infrequently that I'll run out of voice if we go over 3-4 hours.

They're going to have fun, fuck you.

>>52973822
You need to go back.

You know where.

>>52973822
You're the one who brought it up.

>>52973822
not if a /pol/ has infested it with his nasty /pol/ disease, because if /pol/ /pol/ /pol/ has come then I can't get any sle/pol/ep because /pol/ is constantly yelling about being /pol/ in completely unrelate/pol/d boards and or th/pol/reads /pol/ /pol/ /pol/ i just want to be left alone but those na/pol/zis keep ruining everything. what is that matter with /pol/ why can't they leave me /pol/ alone?

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>>52972170
My first campaign was honestly very well written and the setting was thought out with a lot contingency and wiggle room for player decision. I tried to make each session and encounter tie into the larger overarching plot and played to the characters strengths while making them guard their weaknesses. This was helped by the fact that all of the players involved took the role-playing seriously and strategized things pretty well.
The issue was, I was so confident in my players that I didn't calculate that one of them would get bored with the whole RPG scene and turn into That One Guy and undo my campaign in a matter of sessions.
8 months campaigning almost every weekend, with roughly 6 more left of planned story until the ending arc, was brought down in a few sessions because this dude was bored and I wasn't prepared for it.

I ran WE BE GOBLINS and wiped the party,
you know, that free lv1 module meant to introduce players to the game

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The party's three female PCs, all normally full-plated warriors, were attending a fancy ball in poofy gowns! They were surreptitiously charmed by a kitsune sorcerer boy in a dress. They and 13+ other charmed ladies were led to a private room full of suggestive paraphernalia, and were ordered to change out of their crinolined dresses and into sultry clothing, in preparation for a "performance." The kitsune's overwhelming Charisma pushed the order through. The session ended on such a cliffhanger!

... But that was not quite how the session truly panned out.

Yesterday, I had run my first session for a group (as opposed to GMing a one-on-one game) in two years. It was a catastrophe that I dearly hope to improve from.

I was far too accustomed to running for only a single player, which set me into poisonous habits for a group game. One-on-one games are very intimate. In such games, it is more acceptable to take your time between posts and describe things with exacting detail. Many times in the past, I had been praised for my ability to portray NPCs in a highly endearing and memorable fashion.

In this game, I was under time pressure. It would have to be a short session because of the circumstances of one of the players, and I was attempting to reach a certain plot point. This, and the fact that I was running for a group, behooved me to rush my descriptions.

Everything came out as plain, amateur-ish, and simply insufficient. A sign that I was not operating optimally: normally, I am very on-the-ball when it comes to describing NPCs blushing in embarrassing situations. In this session, I described an NPC blushing not a single time, no matter how embarrassing the situation.

Another issue is that in one-on-one games, every action by the player counts, and the GM is expected to address such actions. With four players, I was quickly overwhelmed by attempting to address every action of all players; it simply was not within my arsenal of GMing tools, so to speak.

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>>52975212

This was also merely my second time running Pathfinder. A major point of mechanical contention was the manner in which I had implemented quasi-hidden rolls for things the PCs would not know of; my execution of such semi-hidden rolls was very poorly handled in such a way as to annoy the players, and it has pushed me towards a policy of always prompting rolls from the players no matter what.

I had also failed to properly set expectations, and had broken what expectations were present. This was what I had informed the players before the game: It should be noted that while this mini-campaign will include “ecchi” and suggestive elements, there will be no sexual activities initiated by the GM, and any sexual activities initiated by the players will be glossed over off-screen.

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>>52975222

At one point in the game, three Cunning Caster'd, metamagic'd charm persons went towards the three female PCs. (This was the botched implementation of quasi-hidden rolls I had implemented earlier.) They all failed their Perception checks and Will saving throws; the dice rolled out in the open showed as much after the fact. The fourth PC, a male, tried to make Sense Motive checks to realize this but failed terribly. Thus, there was the very tricky situation of three-fourths of the party being charmed, and the remaining PC being unaware of such a thing.

I thought it would be entertaining to use the charm to implement a humorous bait-and-switch of, "You think this will lead to a sexual situation, but it is actually completely innocent." The kitsune boy was actually desperate to recruit people from the noble ball for a private play with a very specific costume detail, no matter how amateurish the press-ganged actresses might have been.

The three charmed characters' players seemingly understood what I was going for, and followed along. The one non-charmed character's player... did not, and protested this heavily. Simultaneously, they were a player who refused behind-the-scenes spoilers (understandable). Therefore, this fell completely flat, and everything turned awkward.

I was far too ambitious as a GM, especially during my first session GMing for a full group. I had mismanaged the session, miscarried certain mechanics, and failed to properly align expectations. My spontaneous idea of something humorous also made one player overwhelmingly uncomfortable, a major misstep that will be difficult to correct seeing how they are still (understandably) refusing to hear spoilers.

>>52975156
I played that once. I cut the top half of my ear off thinking it would net me a bonus to an intimidation roll. The DM just got mad at me.

>>52972170
>Ran a Changeling: the Lost game for my online group
>Do very little prep, feel like I'm constantly getting things wrong, have to pull every session out my ass and make it up as I go along
>Players love it
>Take a break, other people run, eventually decide to have another go
>Not gonna make the same mistake again
>Plan everything in EXACTING detail, get a solid overview of the major points of the story, then build a session around everything way in advance
>First session is garbage, the new PC's don't click easily and spend more time talking to my NPC's than each other. End up having to awkwardly force them onto the plot hook
>Everything after that feels forced and awkward
>Realise I've made things too inflexible, whenever the PC's try to do something I don't expect I'm lost
>Some players say they're enjoying it, others admit they aren't having fun
>Big set-pieces turn into complete anticlimaxes, important NPC's die due to weird dice rolls
>Eventually just shitcan the whole thing and let someone else run Shadowrun instead

And that was how I learned that accidental railroading is still railroading.

>>52975156
The game may be called Dungeons and Dragons but you're not actually supposed to include a dragon that beats the party to death with an entire dungeon until at least level 7.

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>>52975237

Another misstep. One of the key plot points I was trying to establish for later on in the campaign involved one-on-one séances with deceased loved ones.

I thought it would be a good idea to demonstrate how it was "supposed" to work by having the psychic and an important NPC conduct such a one-on-one séance. Once it was halfway through, I realized that the players were expressing boredom over it; I then fast-forwarded through most of the séance, but it came across as lazy and disjointed.

Afterwards, I requested another one of the PCs to step forward for a one-on-one séance. Only then did it hit me: "Why was the first séance even necessary? Why did I not just skip straight ahead to this one directly involving a PC?"

Even then, the problem with this second séance was that the rest of the PCs were uninvolved and expressing boredom. One of the players suggested that I give the other PCs a different activity to occupy themselves with, but I brushed it off, as I was deeply unconfident in my ability to juggle between two major conversations simultaneously. The second séance dragged out for an uncomfortably long time, and it was all very awkward.

It would have been a good idea for me to pre-plan two different sets of activities to engage the entire group with, with enough notes that I could smoothly run two concurrent conversations. As well, I most definitely should have pre-written descriptions and NPC dialogue in order to expedite the session.

It was a poor sign that at numerous points, players were indicating both out-of-character and in-character that they were bored. This was most prevalent during situations wherein I was focusing the spotlight on a single character for overly long periods of time, because of my instincts as a one-on-one specialist GM.

The players had given noncommittal "It was fine/average" remarks when I had prompted them after the session, but such came across as being polite rather than genuine praise.

How might I improve?

>>52972837
Sorry you're not a great GM, but yeah dude, you saved her from a shitty marriage.

>>52973595
You are the paranoid fiancee who thinks /tg/ is cheating on you with /pol/.

>>52972170
Oh yes. I spent a while getting a group together, talking to people, organising a session, getting characters made, talking about the theme and style and tone and what players wanted out of it, got everyone super-hyped up...

...then I ran a crappy introductory piece that was pretty much 'You turn up to work and go here then bad guys show up!" Then forgot how combat worked, meaning in ten minutes, all that happened was one attack by a player, all the while dropping more spaghetti than an Italian bomber. I hadn't even been able to come up with the name of the place the characters were living in..

It actually feels really bad because I love the system and the genre of the game, and everyone was so excited and this was my first time playing it and I just fucked up completely. When you go for a second and then catch the players talking about that festival that promised tons and delievered shit, you know you fucked up. I ran the Dashcon of roleplaying games.

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>>52973407
>being proud of having an IQ of 80

>>52972170
Oh yes
Several times
>create epic story for one player game
>he doesn't bite the hook and I botch it badly enough we agree to do the polite thing and never mention it again.
>running a ptolus campaign
>blow up ptolus to get the players outside of the city and exploring the rest of the world
>turns out one player really loved the city
>doing modern game, tried making modern versions of the Dnd classes with what I thought were good synergies.
>players can't grasp they aren't one for one copies of existing classes. Also introduce phyrexians which just ass fuck the campaign I had going.

>>52972170
Tried to have an intruige game with a bunch of stoners.

HOOOOLLLIIIIEEEEE SHEEEEIIIIIIIT was that a bad idea. People on weed are fucking idiots.

The girl who had never done D&D or weed was a complete fucking mess.

The others might have just giggled at her perpetual state of confusion for things like "where are we?", and "Did I just say something to you? No seriously, I can't remember", but I was having a really really shitty time.
As far as personal mistakes, one time years ago I thought it was going to be interesting to place them in a No Leads investigation scenario. Their contact hauled them into a city with a snake cult and then the cult killed him. They were supposed to... you know... look around, spy, invesetigate, chat with people. They had no clue what to do or how to go about it. In retrospect, I threw them off a cliff. It wasn't a good idea. I should have at least warned them.

>>52972170
I thought if I gm'd something I'd enjoy, the players would enjoy it too. I thought everyone goofed off because of a lack of focus in game. Not enough drive or something.

Today, I realized nobody in my group ever wanted to take the games seriously in the first place. I've been making serious PCs for myself for 6 years hoping that THIS would be the game I could roleplay properly. 6 years, I've just dealt with chaotic stupid instead of acting my part and stopping them cause I didn't want to be That Guy and fuck up the party. For the past half a year, I've been working on a world and a grand campaign for my group, hoping that I could pull off the game I've wanted to play for 6 years.

I guess the silver lining is that I realized this before attempting to GM and making myself out to be more of a dense asshole than I had been acting for the past six years.

I need a drink or 10

>someday my players are going to find out my approach to gming fights is just completely fucking bullshit the monster's rolls and stats until it goes long/involved enough to seem like a decently fun fight

my screen is a screen of lies

>>52978488
real talk: for all that it absolutely deserves the reputation and warnings you'll get from here, check out roll20. i was much like you, a roleplayer surrounded by rollplayers in all the rl groups i could find, and after wading through some chaff on there and keeping tabs on the good players i found i've settled into a really fun group that gives me all the in-depth roleplay-worked-into-gameplay my picky little heart needs.

don't underestimate the internet. wade through enough shit and you'll find some gold.

>>52972616
Don't despair. You'll find that the common glue that holds a game group together isn't skillz, it's the fact they love the game and don't mind hanging out with you.

If you at least showed some sincerity and didn't disrespect them, you'll likely have a few that will show up again.

>>52972170
Yup. I wasted about two months of prep and only got 3 sessions into the game.

First mistake was running my hipster dream-system for my first attempt GMing. I should have just run D&D for a while since we're all more familiar with it, and my favorite system had some things I expected they wouldn't like, such as a chance for lasting injuries on KO.

Second mistake: Not being more willing to clamp down on the foreverGM. I had expected him to be the most reasonable player, but he wound up doing most of the That Guy shit because he wasn't used to playing. He basically ragequit each session whenever something went wrong (getting oneshot at level 1, failing a haggle roll, getting poor reaction rolls from important NPCs because his PC is the least sociable). Dude was practically my best friend and the heart of the friend-group; I couldn't bring myself to boot him out. Also I didn't have the energy to coach him like I really ought to have done.

Third mistake: Getting caught up in shit that doesn't matter. I was really anal about charging them for each inn stay night and meal they ate. What I really ought to have done is just charged them a flat daily lifestyle rate like in 5e. All I did was make them feel poor (kind of intentional to make them want to get money) and get frustrated with how poor they were.

Fourth mistake: Played up the deadliness of combat and the idea that combat is not essential without putting a clear way to sneak past the first monsters. I had expected them to just mosey up to the dungeon's kobold guards at the entrance, for which I prepared said guards to just let them pass, assuming the players were bandits. Instead they just sent a familiar to spy on the kobolds (which gave very limited information), then the ForeverGM convinced the party to run away back to town literally before the PCs ever saw the dungeon's entrance. After that session the ForeverGM ragequit again, demoralizing everyone further and ending the game.

>>52973595
It's called context you dumbass. We have all that we need.
>>52975296
Nice.

>>52972170
Every GM, at least once. Hopefully early on due to inexperience bit a few through ego.

Actually that describes most fuck ups...

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>>52972170
Not yet but I dread thinking about the day where it happens. Sure there have been some times where the game stagnates a bit but I pick-up on it and usually manage to retool things on the fly into something the players prefer. Still I am haunted by the possibility that one day whether it be due to choosing a system too obtuse, poor preparation, or simply being sleep deprived the players will look upon me with disappointment.

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>>52979345
On a related note I really need to start planning out my maps for combat, towns, and countries. It doesn't look good when the players want to go somewhere and you can't tell them which direction their destination is. A lot of my worlds are in a state of quantum flux till the players ask about a detail and I need to give a solid answer. Once that answer is given the detail is canon.

>>52978598
That's exactly why I'm on 4chan

>>52975268

On the off chance you're not baiting:

Is this online? If so, stop writing like that. It takes a lot of time and is boring as hell. Fine for speech, terrible for descriptions.

You're right in that one-on-ones ruined you. Stop planning single activities unless all the PCs suggest it first. Why could you not have had a group seance? Throw little bits of their backstory at each of them, draw them in.

Stop planning for massive, intriguing conversations. Work out the character of your NPCs, and how to portray that in a few short sentences of speech. Accents and changing the style of speech work wonders. Massive in-depth conversations are fine IF THE PCS INSTIGATE THEM.

Basically, stop ruining the flow of the game by jerking off to your amazing writing and characters. It's not as good as you think, and the PCs don't care about listening to an audiobook.

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>>52979886

>Is this online? If so, stop writing like that.
This is my normal typing style.

>Why could you not have had a group seance?
Given that the characters had mostly unconnected backstories, I thought it would have come across as extremely weird for a single séance to conjure vastly disparate and unconnected spirits.

>Stop planning for massive, intriguing conversations. Work out the character of your NPCs, and how to portray that in a few short sentences of speech.
My players in one-on-one games give me plenty of flak for my GMing flaws even in those games. They do tend to praise me on my NPCs and the conversations the players have with said NPCs, be they long or short. I will make no illusions of one thing though: I recruit only incorrigible weeaboos for players, and I seem to have a knack for portraying anime stereotypes despite viewing very little anime myself, which seems to hit all of the players' metaphorical buttons in a positive manner.

The problem is that it takes time and mental effort to strike up such conversations; I can commit these given the long stretches I have to myself in one-on-one games, but it is far less feasible in a much higher-pressure group environment.

>>52972837
Honestly it probably wasn't your GMing, if that makes you feel better.

He wasn't there because he had to see what she was up to on the weekends. They'd probably been fighting about it for a bit, and he didn't believe she was just hanging out with friends. This implies that no matter what you guys were doing, he was going to be watching through such a lenses of paranoia that you could have just been at a bar, out to eat, or even just watching some movie and ordering a pizza and he would have thought she was covering up an affair.

So yeah, even if your GMing was bad that relationship was doomed to fail.

>>52973690
>>52974066
>>52974084
>>52974097
>>52975296
>>52978993
Lmao amazing how defensive people who browse /pol/ get when someone calls out their shitty board.

>>52972837
Their relationship was built on mistrust anyway. Either he was paranoid, or she had proven herself not worth trusting to the point that he felt the need to follow her around on the weekend. It would have failed anyway.

Also if my SO spent every weekend away I would legit think she wanted nothing to do with me either.

>>52972170
Yeah. First time I ever tried it, first experience with the setting, I screwed it up completely. Only knew half the rules, and railroaded my players. I think the major problem was that we were expecting very diffferent tones: I wanted to play something serious, they mostly wanted to goof around while following the plot. I think that this, combined with my semi-sperg during the first session of a different campaing where I was a player which fizzled out after the second session, is why I don't get invited to play D&D anymore.

>>52975244
You, you're thinking like a goblin.

>>52979964
You're online, use fucking voice. It'll be faster and flow better so that there's not as much dead time while people wait for you to masturbate to your prose.

>>52980036
Amazing how such a shitty board triggers people so easily.

>>52979964

>disconnected backstories WAAAAAHHHH

Nigga, do you even DM? Throwing knowledge of each of their past at them and then at a shared future and joines destiny is Plot Hook 101.

Also, you're too invested in your NPCs. Stop it. Your PCs will decide who they like anyway. They are props, just like the dungeons.

>but but but my other players likes them

And these ones don't, because it's a group, not you and a single player stroking each other off. I am telling you why. Suck it up.

You asked for advice, I gave it. Write plainly or use voice. Stop making them play your novels. Let the game flow. If you don't like it, then go and run shitty games your players hate.

>>52980899
It's Collette, don't try anon. You can tell due to the massive verbose and the fact he's only posting touhou

>>52972837
You saved her, buddy. You are a fucking hero.

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>>52981343

>Nigga, do you even DM? Throwing knowledge of each of their past at them and then at a shared future and joines destiny is Plot Hook 101.
It is a tool that I have not used very much at all, particularly because I seldom use prophecy-related plot hooks. Could you please expound?

>Also, you're too invested in your NPCs. Stop it. Your PCs will decide who they like anyway.
>And these ones don't, because it's a group, not you and a single player stroking each other off.
Two of the players actually said they liked the NPCs in rough concept (as opposed to execution) and thought it was disappointing that I was rushing through the game and amateurishly giving said NPCs little detail.

Therefore, I need a better method to convey a good amount of detail in a short time span.

Voice simply is not an option, and every player of the group strongly prefers text regardless.

>>52972837
As everyone said, you helped her avoid marrying a paranoid psycho.

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>>52973035
>had my first 3 way

>>52984212
>being this thirsty
You're on the internet, just watch some porn.

>>52984073

>expound

So, say a spirit is summoned for each of your players. After a few seconds of them talking, they all swirl together and form a giant, hooded figure. The room goes cold, each player feels the weight of destiny fall on their shoulders.

>The fate of the world rests on your shoulders. You alone will stand between the innocent hordes and the mouths of hell. Your actions will resonate through the ages. All this may be averted by the simple act of saving the Hopeful Child. Beware the Hand.

It dissolves into a smouldering cloud. The seance is over.

As soon as they leave, you throw a group of five warriors at them, each with a bloody handprint on their chests. After they defeat the group, they find a map of the city with a big red cross on a house, and a hand-drawn picture of a child.

Boom. Instant plot hook. Adjust for your group/campaign style.

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>>52985210

I will admit that I do not have much experience, if any, with prophecy-oriented plot hooks.

What benefits do they offer to a GM employing them?

A problem with this particular implementation is that, as I lay out in my more elaborate breakdown here >>52967443, the séances were 100% fake.

>>52985301

If they're real, you keep them vague and whatever bullshit you plot you come up with you can shoehorn a relevant moment in. Makes players think you've "ALL ACCORDING TO KEIKAKU"'d them.

If they're fake, even better. Manipulation, lies, sullduggery, betrayal, acting as the unwitting tools to commit an act they must seek to undo... literally endless possibilities.

The benefits? They are pure plot. They are a stimulus for ANYTHING to happen. Drama, intrigue, everything. Just make shit happen.

>>52980036
Lmaoing with you anon - they're not just shit (this *is* 4chan after all), they're incredibly sensitive shit.

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>>52980036
>>52986360

Holy shit, reddit.

>Lmaoing with you

>>52973595
The best way to handle the power-level of fights is to make things easier or harder depending on how they're doing. If they're all dying horribly, then make the monster die when it still has 60 HP left. If they're completely crushing the monster, then suddenly have him call out for allies.

>>52986360

/pol/ is their safe space after all.

>>52974097
Anyone else get a sudden craving for pancakes.

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>>52973595
>>52980036
I guess you were trying to summon /pol/ by naming them - but neither their vocation nor their paranoia is to blame for your self-fulfilling prophecy coming true. You named them and so others responded, some of them not even /pol/.

If you have a problem with 'them' leaking out of their 'containment board', maybe you ought to stop trying to puncture holes in the hazmat outline, huh mongoloid?

It was obvious from the context the lady was the good guy in this scenario. It was a funny story and then you came in here and you tried to ruin it. Please put a loaded firearm's barrel at the roof of your mouth and don't stop pulling the trigger until you stop bothering us.

>>52972837
>I was so sloppy and so unorganized during my session that the player's fiancé thought that she was lying about this being what she did every weekend - there was no way she was spending four hours every week with a bunch of "loser guys"

Serves him right. There was no other man, but he still got himself cucked

I've had three times in my life, when I actually considered dropping a campaign completely. It was due to burnout, inter-player drama or seeming dissatisfaction from players.

All three times I didn't and the next sessions after those thoughts were some of the best sessions I DMed, if not THE best.

>>52981343
This anon honestly has it right. Disregard whatever your one on one games have taught you. It's completely different. It's like assuming you'll be good at MtG because you can play Catan. They're literally entirely different games at this point.

When I first started DMing 4e there were a few incidents that made my players IRL hate me for at least a month, I suspect some still do four years later.

>think a labyrinth would be a fun puzzle
>two hours of "left, left, right, left, right, right"

>try to improvise the main villain's stats and powers despite no experience
>villain spends every turn spamming invisibility and teleporting

>forcibly render the whole party unconscious to induce a "haha I'm the villain and I've captured you but I'm going to let you go if you promise not to come back haha" scenario

>>52975156
I played WBG once and got TPK'd in a giant explosion, but we all knew it was a one-shot so it was kinda intentional.

>>52978559
If they haven't realised, then you've found the secret to perfect encounters.

>>52989991
This.

>>52987844
He was a cuckold of the mind.

Truly, the worst kind of cuckold to be.

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> be me
> game goes smoothly for months
> ambush scenario that would have resulted in a random character death outside the player's control
> veto myself for being stupid
> player goes on for weeks about it ruining his play experience

I have never ate such shit from my own team for making a mistake.

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>>52972170
I did try an online VtM way back when as GM. Bad idea, I guess; people just ended up cybering with each other. Unfortunately, because of the board mechanics, I was party to every message sent back and forth, so I knew when people were ignoring the game in order to get their rocks off. They got SO PISSED when I told them to cut it out, too, and/or take it somewhere else.

I also got tired of roleplaying as people's personal NPCs in their private boards rather than them roleplaying with each other and moving the game along.

I also had way too many players (it was about 8-10).

I ended up abandoning it and moving onto something less stressful, but at least I had a good idea of what online GMs go through.

>anon bitches about /pol/ when there is no /pol/ to be seen
>gets called out for summoning /pol/
>lol /pol/
We have gone through this countless times, and we shall go through it countless more.

Like pottery.

>>52980080
Like a brilliant philisopher said.
>Trust but verify

>>52987526
>Someone was talking shit about /pol/ on another board?
>Quickly, send emissaries from the /pol/ defence force!

>>52972170
>fucked it up
well i did have sex with all of them at some point,.. The benefit of being a bi slut i guess

>>52991957
> /pol/ defence force

I think you meant... Inter/pol/

>>52992210
inter/pol/
/pol/ice
/pol/tergeist
/pol/lack
mega/pol/ lawforce from Xcom Apocalypse

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>>52991957
I don't think imageboard culture is for you. Maybe leddit is more your speed.

>>52994808
Ironically /pol/ has brought in the biggest ever wave of reddit shitposters from the trump threads.

>Be me at 16
>Be new GM
>Twenty minutes into the game it becomes obvious two players have an out of game fight going on.
>Be stupid as fuck
>Incorporate fight into the game
>10 minutes later players are fist fighting.
>Players break shit in my house.
>Game ends, everyone pissed, group effectively TPK.

>>52972170
First game I ever ran was an absolute clusterfuck
the next few weren't much better either

>>52980036
i agree those /pol/ster/pol/s need to stop constantly /pol/ /pol/ bringing up their /pol//pol//pol//pol//pol//pol//pol//pol//pol//pol/ shitty bo/pol/ard in /tg/. /tg/ is for /pol/ the discuss/pol//pol/ion of tabletop gaming, and when those /pol//pol//pol/st/pol//pol/ers keeping bringing it up in unrelated threads i get really /pol/ mad. Why don't the mods ever /pol/ do anything about /pol/?

I fuck up every game I run, every session. I'm convinced my group hates my game and just keep showing up because they're too busy enjoying each other's company to realize how shit the game is. The only other decent gm there seems to barely tolerate being there, so I feel like that confirms it.

Basically the setting is stupid, I can't run combat for shit, I lose track of things I've said 5 minutes ago, my maps look like autistic scribbles, I don't know how to prep effectively, and I'm always worried that giving the characters or setting will come off as wankery so as a result everything is bland. On top of that I can't do voices.

last time I ran it three new people showed up. They heard it had been running for two years and they wanted to check it out. The group basically looted an empty hospital because I balanced the enemies so poorly and straight up forgot encounters. I'm pretty sure I never even used the systems initiative equivalent. God it was a mess, I actually apologized to them about it.

I just really like the whole little thing I made, and I just really want to share it with people. But I fuck it up

>>52992513
/pol/linators
/pol/lsters
extra/pol/ators

>>52996720
Cheer up, she'll be right. If worst comes to worse, you can always try again.

>>52996745
Thanks mate. This is actually the third campaign I've run. I honestly feel I get a bit worse at it as I go, y'know?

Yes, it's called your "first time".

Losing GM virginity is pretty similar to the real thing, only much less enjoyable and takes waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay longer.

>>52972170
First one I ran was me and some buddies cause My dad had just bought me the 3rd edition DnD rules because they had just come out. I was only 8, so of course it was a total cluster fuck. We all had fun though, in its stupidity. A few weeks later my mom found the books and threw them all in the trash. I went dumpster diving and got them back, but obviously couldn't have friends over to play while my mother was around. Just poured over the rules late at night, and wrote down stories and ideas. I was prepping my first real game for probably 5 years before i got to run it. Total shitfest too, but it got way better.

>>52996770
I almost lost three friends over shitty GMing once, and quit for a year, so I do in fact know. Just remember to be chill about it and you'll do better than I did.

>>52996830
Wait. She threw out the books? Why? Stupid religious shit?

>>52996830
Yeah, deets on why she threw out the books, sounds like a story worth hearing

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>>52972170
My failure was that I wanted to try out Exalted with a fa/tg/uy and then lost interest in the system...

Otherwise, I think I am a shitty GM anyhow, given that my last two encounters were the party VS Team Rocket and then the party+someNPCs against Hexxus...

>>52972837
If he left her because he was paranoid like that, you shouldn't feel bad anon. You are an okay guy.

>>52997706
>>52997607
"If you play with this stupid nerdy crap, you'll never have friends or a girlfriend!"

My dad has been playing since AD&D, and until he got married had a huge collection of all sorts of awesome nerd stuff (That he had to trash cause of her).

That it requires friends to play, and needs math and creativity never quite connected in her brain.

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The only time I tried my friends brought along a really obnoxious fa/tg/uy who tried nonstop to interrupt and poke holes in my story and derail it. It was pretty much five hours of him sidelining the main story to try and get more cash/items/equipment and in general be a nuisance.

Since I was new I just had to roll with it because I wanted people to have a good time and not make it awkward but I didn't bother afterwards to continue the game and it died there.

>>52973595
>>52980036
>>52980910
>>52991957
BOY HOWDY I SURE HOPE /POL/ DOESNT COME HERE! WOULDNT IT BE AWFUL IF /POL/ CAME HERE!? I SURE HOPE SOMEONE FROM POL DOESNT COME AND POL IT UP! FUCKING POL!

OH MY GOD LOOK AT THESE POL POSTERS COMING FROM NO WHERE HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN? WHERE THE FUCK IS POL COMING FROM HOW DID THEY FIND US!

>>52972170
Oh I fucked up real hard once.
>Too much homebrew
>Too "different" of a setting
>Strict tracking of overland movement according to the rules (aka give me 20 checks for this travel the game
Not a soul told me I was fucking up so hard, and that pisses me off to this day.

I've fucked up sessions but not campaigns. Planning too far ahead and forgetting important parts of early encounters, like the other week i was running a session where they needed to deduce who the spy was based on a dozen or so clues and red herrings peppered around a dockyard, meanwhile the last week of planning has all been centered around the culmination of the campaign which will take months to get to.

>>52996257
Fascinating but you still need to go back.

>>52972170
All the time. I'm really shit at it, but I do want to improve and I take advice when I can.

It's just really shitty when I've worked on something and 3 out of 4 party members aren't paying attention or say stuff like "I do the thing that advances the plot." I know it's inherently my fault but it still sucks and makes it hard to want to put in any more effort.

Running my third session as GM later today, had to take over for our ex GM because he was running too many campaigns (or I at least hope that's true and not because he was more serious about the RP than some of our members)

Definitely get the hang of it more each session, old GM still is in our group as a player so he helps me with the rules and gives suggestions outside the game when he can.

My first experience started in town with a couple people known to try to derail a bit for fun, I don't mind in general but boy was it a nightmare to keep up with all the information.

It's easy to forget you're in control sometimes.

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About 2-3 sessions into running my first game, I realized I was pretty good at improvising and bluffed out the rest of the session. Turns out prior to this I was railroading a ton, and it was way more fun to just let things go and see what happened. The rest of the session went great, and the players (and me!) had a blast.

Unfortunately, this boosted my ego way too much and I barely prepped for the next session and improvised my way right into an incredibly awkward conversation between 2 NPCs.

I just kept fucking sitting there talking to myself while the PCs watched, refusing to interject and stop the trainwreck because it was 'too entertaining'.

Bastards just ignored all of the plothooks/hints I was repeatedly dropping and did what they could to force it to keep going.

In the end I gave up and had one of the NPCs assassinated out of the blue to force the PCs to actually do something.

>>52972170
I consider myself a good player and i don't fuck the GM plot just because but holy fuck i just can't keep up and the only one we had on the group that could DM is gone

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I was forced to GM for my group (Dark Heresy) I didn't want to, I didn't think I'd be good at it, I had to craft a story, narrative, world, characters.

I worked so hard but just got flustered when people went "lolsorandom" off book

>I want to kill the Arbite Captain
Why would you do that?
>I think he's a heretic
He's given you nothing to imply that, he's a veteran, as he told you, of 30 years in the service. You have nothing to base that on, at worse you'll be killed at best you'll be turned into a servitor.
>I want to kill him

>I want to climb the wall of the Cathedral
It's a sheer, polished marble surface, it's impossible to climb
>I'm going to use my vibro (or whatever they were) - knives to begin to climb the sides, I'm strong enough to support my weight
You'll be defacing an Ecclesiarchy Cathedral, you'll be shot and killed
>SIGH, choo choo, all aboard the railroad

Made me sad really

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First try was a dumpster fire of an original system idea.

My second time DMing and a Ranger I was planning on turning into pic related ended up becoming what is in effect a DMPC, because Bard.

I'm scared /tg. I've heard the horror stories, the fuck is even samurai flavored

>>53000407
I have a system of tracking extreme or random (purely justified) decisions that I tell players will permanently change how characters perceive them intuitively.

Basically, if they want to become murder hobos, everyone will treat them like it because they just have the aura of chaotic shittiness around them

>>53000730
I meant poorly justified, not purely

>>52972170
My first time DMing I had never played DnD before. It was in middle school and we were all stoned and I just went for it. Honestly, I still carry habits I learned in that game with me today. For really complex actions, no matter the game, I just have the player roll the die and tell me their bonus that applies. I act like Im checking something but really its just whether I feel like its enough.

Im the worlds worst DM
but I love running games
and its my house so unless these NEETs I play with GOML and actually get jobs then its going to stay a one way ticket to shittown

ALL ABOARD!

>>53000407
>>I want to kill him
this sounds like some xenos shit right here

>>53000407
Same shit happend to me man
I was running my first session with a bunch of friends
They immediately fucked in the ass one of the first NPCs before he even finished his monologue (and he liked it because of natural 20)
Then they tried to blow up this huge military base I built with tons of characters and quest
It was quite fun but I had no idea how to properly handle stuff like that so I spilled spaghetti all over the table and never GMed ever since

>>52974759
If you really had the contingency plans you said you did, that wouldn't have happened. No well-written campaign can be brought down by one player's shenanigans.

>>52973690
This. Also, fuck the jews.

>be me
>be new GM
>play rise of the runelords adventure path
>one of the players have GMed it before and knows everything about the game
>he uses diplomacy to basically mind controll NPCs
>tell him he cant do that
>he says "well this character has that and that attitude, and my roll was super high so he has to do what i say"
>every session i feel more and more powerless
>calls in sick several times
>when we get done with the first adventure path i quit GMing forever

>>52972837
Either this is fake and gay or their marriage wasn't that strong anyhow.

>>52973035
fake, also this fag actually used a rage face in 2017.

>>52972170
I got forced into GMing a Nasuverse RPG Grail War for 14 people because the real GM flaked. I had not even seen a TTRPG before in my life and this was supposed to be my intro into /tg/. Long story short a lot of the groups ended up getting less focus because I had to have my attention divided among 7 groups, plus I made the mistake of drinking before a session and phoned in 9/11 because two groups were fighting on a plane heading to New York.

>>53003059
Good call, there are other better hobbies than RPGs.

>>52989947
If you're not exploding, you're not playing goblins right.You did well.

>>53003059
Ugh, metagamers like that are the worst. Why even play an adventure path if you've GMed it before?

Diplomacy isn't mind-control, and even if an NPC is more favourable towards you they won't do something against their nature unless you give them a very good reason.

>>53003649
I couldnt find the stats of the NPC he knew the stats off. It was in book nr 3 apparently.

>>52975268
Remember that you don't lead group sessions. The group leads their story, you tell it. I used to be real bad at making in depths NPCs that were cool character concepts and I believed added to the indepth of the environment.

Vague descriptions are better for group things. Not super vague but not in depth. You do not tell them what they imagine, you tell them what they see. I used to be bad about that.

>You enter a grand cathedral, pews stretch across the floor and a large wwod stage imbued with gold and orniments. On it stands a podeum of gold high lighted with gold and jewels. The Stained glass windows tower high and depict images of all the gods in their granduer. A priest in White and gold robes waits at the podeum for you.

thats gay and takes forever.

>There's a grand cathedral with pews on either side of the ailse, a wood stage with a gold podeum, there are stained glass windows of the gods, and a preist is waiting for you. at the other end.

I've taken to this literal explanaition because I love listening to my players describe my cathedral from their memory. Its different. They always imagine things I didn't or you get to know what they focused on.

If you were using voice id say use the first one more.

>>52978904
>then the ForeverGM convinced the party to run away back to town literally before the PCs ever saw the dungeon's entrance.

wut? I have a hard time convincing my players that retreat is an option AND I'VE KILLED PEOPLE.

How did he do it? was it a
>These don't seem like regular kobolds so we should protect ourselves.
Situation?

>>52984073
I dislike prophecy plot hooks because that very easily leads to railroad. I do like using there back stories to connect them.

i.e. I have a player who's literally a savage. He lived in the plains hunting and learned druidic magics and barbarism. (Barbarian/druid).
Another is an Ex-soldier who traveled with the army for the longest time fighting wars.

Their stories where different but I asked them if it was okay if Soldier guy met Savage guy while traveling and the savage became a guide for the soldiers while traveling. This established a connection besides
>You were all hired to kill thing

I try to avoid that like the plague because it's lazy. My current group wrote their back story as a group. They said they were the kids of a village that was attacked and most people in it were enslaved but they escaped and trained for years to destroy the slavers that got their families. This also initiated a campaign I hadn't thought of.

>>52997800
How long ago was this Exalted test?
I think it's me.

>>52975268
This entire string of posts is the cringiest shit I've ever read

>>53005880
>was it a
>These don't seem like regular kobolds so we should protect ourselves.
>Situation?

ForeverGM seemed to think so? I had his familiar tell him that the kobolds were just standing guard at the entrance. Since his PC wasn't there in person, he didn't get the detailed narration about the kobolds screwing around, chatting, rocking on their heels, etc. Maybe he imagined these were some kind of perfectly disciplined guards standing like iron statues by the entrance. Or maybe he read the module and knew that they were likely to warn the others if attacked.

Even so, kobolds are garbage and have -2 to morale. Even if they weren't going to break and run at the first sign of trouble, the PCs could probably have wiped the floor with every kobold in that dungeon. They didn't even have any traps worth mentioning.

Shit, if the PCs even approached, they could easily have bluffed past the guards. I was planning on having them ask if the PCs were aligned with one of the dungeon's human factions ('hey, uh, are you recruits for BanditLeader's gang? His room is down the hall to the right") before attacking.

>>52974759
I'm so late but I want this to be story time.

>One week before, ran a perfect session
>Solid intro, a couple of excellent combat encounters
>Did a series of roll tests in a dungeon that gave everyone a chance to shine
>People we're legitmately excited to continue this campaign. Actually had a couple players say this was the best session they ever played.
>Second session, I don't know what the fuck was wrong with me
>Couldn't talk, was really easily distracted that night
>Kept forgetting stuff and had trouble getting the ball rolling
>Worst of all I spent thirty in-gane minutes going over money-changing becauseI decided the next town over had a different currency value system
>That group never let me run again.
>Never had a session as bad as that in my 20+ years of running games.
>Very next session was with a different group, went on back to normal
>Continued on to be my best campaign ever

I started GMing at fourteen. It was the worst campaign possible.
>Start off with a "story" that is basically just a list of set pieces I want the PCs to visit
>edgy 2cool4u dmpc is a deus ex machina that rescues the pcs from time to time
>literally no structure, PCs are free to do whatever. One kills his character every other session due to boredom, some other guy becomes a lich
>PCs eventually wander out of GameZone, time for improv
>Have to keep expanding the world as the PCs keep getting bored and moving on, not letting me actually sit down and design a zone
>Throw a billion plothooks at them, every character ends up being one chosen one or another in a desperate bid to try and get them to stick to a plotline
>I'm desperately throwing everything at the wall to keep improvising new areas. Mixing genres, stealing places from books, some magical realm shit
>Eventually the worst of the players, along with a few good ones, get bored entirely/turned away and leave the campaign
>five years later we're in a different campaign run by another of the OG players
>90% certain he's just improvving everything too
I cannot wait to get a car so I can get involved with my college's RPG scene, instead of being stuck with the same shit players for the last 5 years

>>52997874
>(That he had to trash cause of her).
Oh look another shrieking harpy of a woman trying to control her husband's every move.

>>52972170
>Has anyone ever tried to GM and just completely fucked it up?

Yes, OP. You did. Every time you tried.

>>52975237
>Simultaneously, they were a player who refused behind-the-scenes spoilers (understandable). Therefore, this fell completely flat, and everything turned awkward.

I actually had a player like this in my group and it ended up making me despair. He'd take things at face value and when something didn't add up, he'd assume it was just bad writing and not intentionally some kind of hint that things were awry.

It wasn't just me, either, since another player complained of nuance being totally lost on him and that she felt like she might just have to flat-out tell him what was up with her character to keep him from thinking she was intentionally trolling him or just a really lazy writer or something.

>>52987357
Shut the fuck up pancake justice warrior. You and the rest of your pancakebeard pancakes need to go back to pancakebbit.

>>52996395
>almost real-life TPK
I feel for your mistakes of youth, anon.

>>52972837
When you screw up but it ends up being all good in the end

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>>52972170
I started a campaign a while back that took course over several months for the better half of a year.

Nobody was good, I wasn't very good. I tried doing things I had no idea how to do.

One day a long time friend gets bored and decides to leave. I try to get him back in and he agrees. But this was a mistake because after one decent session I could never live up to such a "high standard". The next year and over a course of the next few months he starts demanding I do all sorts of stuff just overloading me with guides and videos about how to be a good GM.
I'm trying to retain all the shit he has overloaded me with. I feel like I'm his employee and the boss is never pleased.
Everytime I tried doing something he wanted he would change his mind in session and later bitch me out about it.

My other friends are worried see how stressed I am. And honestly tried compromising with him many times to no effect. He kept trying to derail the game, always showed up grumpy and I never kicked him because I was biased.
Eventually I told him off and he left on his own and I haven't seen him in months.

I should've taken the hint he didn't want to play.

>>53018547
Alternatively you could have gotten better at GMing

>>53016140
There has got to have been at least one game where someone's pulled a knife or a gun.

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>>52987526

Savage as fuck.

>>53018571
I learned from it I also learned to not be biased and kick out people who don't want to work with you.

>>53018547
did he cuck you?

>>52972410
This, although I end most of my games because I don't like the players.

>>53018607
>"You never let us play with fun magic items"
>next session give the fucker a crab tank thing
>says nothing still bitches me out after game
>uses it next session to derail the game and nearly kill the party
>chaotic good

Did I let myself get cucked anon?

>>52973595
I know right, I love 4chan and it being a politically correct woman-friendly forum!~

As a shit DM who empathises with many of the stories ITT, especially >>52996720

I try to engage with my players on how to improve but all they say is keep practising. I need specific cold hard criticisms, and I feel like /tg/ is the place to get them without it being nasty or negative.

I've made a roll20 game and a discord server, everyone who joins will be made a GM. Hop on and chat in the discord, we can organise some small test games with each other and do anonymous critique after the sessions.

The aim is to improve our GM abilities with both positive and negative reinforcement. If you see something done well, compliment it and explain why it's good, if you see something done badly tell the player (or send it to an anonymous tips box that we can set up later) and explain why it was bad.

The set up right now is 5e because I'm playing around with 5e, but it can be changed by any DM in the settings menu for their game.

I'll be running pathfinder / rise of the runelords, but any game system is welcome. Remember that not everyone will know the rules of your system so please be patient with new players!

https://app.roll20.net/join/2210785/y0wH2Q

https://discord.gg/3WJej5h

>>52973595
>I'm glad /pol/ hasn't completely infested /tg/ yet
And now you had to go and ruin it. Thanks, feminism.

>>52975547
Tyrannosaurus Rekt

>>52998014
>Not a soul told me I was fucking up so hard
Social awkwardness is the most terrifying thing in the world to the average human, anon. Nobody will ever tell you shit.

>>52978559
This is also what i do.

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>>52973994
Godspeed, you brave bastard.

I hear the cucks have summoned me, go to tumblr
SJW's.

>>53000407
Say after me: "I refuse to work my ass off for you cunts to act like retards. Play properly or I will beat the shit out of you."

>>53018645
Invite invalid. Did you already get swarmed with death threats?

>>53018811

https://discord.gg/vr3gvre

>>53018795

Literal autism.

>>53012589
My father is a bright, compassionate, and truly amazing person. He would have also likely starved to death without my shrieking harpy of a mother. The price you pay. He's happy though. Nearly 30 years of marriage. I think that's a thing to remember, sometimes people really need a hellion to anchor them. Not someone abusive, but someone serious and grounded to keep dreamers from falling off the Earth.

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>>52972616

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>>53021069