C-can I join your party?

>>52958333

Druid go home you're wild-shaping drunk again.

>>52958333
only if i can boop ur snoot <3

>>52958356
S-sure, that's f-fine! >_<

Sure thing! I love animals! Expect to get booped and cuddled constantly.

You are probably better than our Paladin. <.>

sorry bro, humanoids only. I can ask our Mage is he needs a familiar though.

>>52958608
>Paladin
W-will he be nice to me? They sometimes get weird around us serpents...

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Yeah. You can't be much worse than our snake rogue...

>>52958333
No, you're a talking snake. Instead of meat you're filled with lies and evil.

>>52958702
>roll
Miss
>roll
Miss
>roll
Miss
You lost sight of the target

>>52958702
>bounded-accuracy.webm

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>>52958333
Of course.
All are welcome in Moonclaw Lojads party.

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>>52958333

>>52958743
Rude!

W-why not eat this shiny red apple? I haven't imbued it with Charm Person or anything...

>>52958333
So do you shoot fireballs from your mouth, or do you trace sigils with your tail, or what? I don't think you can carry reagents...

Also is your coil strength enough to choke an unsuspecting man to death?

>>52958852
I-I can suffocate someone if I get a good enough grip...

I cast all my spells as still spells. I have to, really.

>>52958333
What is a mage? How are you able to talk? Are you a mutant of some kind? Can I extract your DNA and abuse is recklessly?

In fact, why am I even bothering to ask the last question? You're coming with me snake-thing!

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>>52958889
I'll take you on if you can convincingly pretend to be a scarf in polite company.

Do you accept gold, or is this a pay-in-mice situation?

>>52958956

>*Rattles academically*

>>52958956
>pretend to be a scarf
S-sure! I'll be the laziest scarf ever!

>gold
>pay-in-mice
I'll accept a large mouse every week and continual warmth.

>>52958333
Well I was looking for a new snakeskin belt...

>>52958333
Man, last time we let a snake join the party, the face tried to kill the psychic, the psychic killed the snake, the tiger ate the vampire, the psychic had to skip town, and the monk was just trying to keep everyone from breaking up. He mostly failed.

So no, probably not.

https://hydra-media.cursecdn.com/paladins.gamepedia.com/5/57/MalDamba_SP_Joke_3.ogg

>>52958970
>>52959015
I'm hiring the snake! Unless somebody bids higher, this snake just became my apprentice/familiar/neck accessory.

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>>52958956
If the scarf is for that witch, that is going to be one happy snake

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>>52958333

DO NOT SULLY YOURSELF AMONG THESE SMOOTH SKIN FILTH! COME WITH ME AND KNOW YOUR TRUE HERITAGE LITTLE COUSIN.

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>>52959146
Back off buddy. The snek is mine!

I'm gonna buy it tons of enchanted bracelets, so even my necklace will have necklaces!

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>>52959179

FOOLISH MORTAL I STRANGLE MOUNTAINS WITH MY BODY AND CALL THEM FROM THE HEAVENS TO SMITE MY FOES. TAKE YOUR DISGUSTING FLESHBAGS AND BEGONE FROM MY SIGHT

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Whosss a good girl? Yesss you are, yesss you are...

>>52959179
This idea amuses me.

>>52958694
As long as you are not undead and are nice you should be fine.

>>52959146
You are not a snake. You have limbs, that means you're a amphisbaena. Fucking reptile monsters, don't even know their own cladistics.

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>>52959222
This isn't the first time. I've got backup.

And good luck with that strangling thing. My spinal muscles are like mithril pillars from hefting these things around. The snake scarf is just gonna be training weight.

>>52958904
>*hisses*

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>>52959286
You got something against undead snakes?

No but our Raven Queen devoted paladin does. >>52959473

>>52958904
>How are you able to talk?
I-it was a mage! I was sleeping after a fresh meal in the woods, minding my own business, when all of a sudden h-he came along and made me like this!

What is your tensile strength. How long are you. Can you handle cute nicknames like "grappling hook" or "trap tester"?

>>52959266
go back to /v/

>>52958333
No.
Yiff in hell you reptile furry fag.

We don't accept candidates with speech impediments.

>>52959543
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?

>>52960068
You think I recognized him? All you humanoids look the same to me.

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C-can I join you too? I-I'm not much good in a fight, but I'm smart and I can help with p-puzzles....

>>52960247
What complexity of puzzle?

>>52961151
I-I've done mastermind puzzles before. I've never f-found a puzzle I couldn't solve yet.

>>52958702
>mouse sensitivity too high

>>52958745
>>52961255
Not underrated, but not overrated either. Just kind of...rated.

>>52958759
Y-you're pretty rated too.

(Soz for missing your post, filename-anon)

>>52958349
fpbp

>>52961309
ohgod I want to pet all of them so badly
sneks are cute, cute!

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>>52961398
Sneks are adorable. I love reptiles in general, I have no idea how you can be scared of something that looks like THIS.

>>52961443
When will humans be okay with playing God and breed pigmy reptiles

Honestly if I could have any animal with dog-like affection and intelligence for a lifelong pet, a dog sized spider or a giant snake would be close.

>>52961443

It's a fucking murder machine. Yeah it's a tiny one, but I see those proportionally giant fucking jaws and those souless slitted eyes and i shiver. I would happily crush that underneath my boot and consider the world a better place for it because that's one less monster to grow to maturity.

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>>52961706
Ok now look at it.

>>52961443
People love being around murder machines. Furry murder machines are the norm, though.

>>52962317
Cute as it is, this thing still sees you as food is hasn't figured out out to eat yet.

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>>52958333
No, there is room for only one of snake-mages in this party. And I am far more powerful than you are.

>>52962373
I doubt it. More likely as an enjoyably warm environment.

>>52962420
>I doubt it. More likely as an enjoyably warm environment.

You know, somewhere out there is a woman who has trained her pet snake to crawl up her cootch. This is just something you know exists because it's too ridiculous and disgusting for it not to happen.

>>52962464
You know. I don't find that image that ridiculous or disgusting. I should probably talk to someone.

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>>52962464
Tunnel Snakes rule!

>>52962464
I think some pagan priestesses could do just that.
Although I don't really see the appeal for the snake, cooch's probably uncomfortably constricting for it.

>>52962317
Here I am again on my own, going down the only road I've ever known. Like a drifter, I was born to walk alone.

>>52962515
It could be a black leather cooch near a window or something, you know nice warm place

>>52962440
What kind of a bird is that, even?

>>52962584
Australian Cockstomper

>>52962584
Secretary - no really if I was to translate it's name to english, it means that.

>>52962613
I think they're called secretarybirds in English as well. They specialize in hunting snakes and other small reptiles, which they kill by kicking them with their taloned feet.

>>52962613
>>52962685
So they are. Cool.

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Of course you may join our party, my child. We are on a quest for Steel!

My attendant Thorgrim will tale good care of you.

>>52958702

I always tell the folks I know who are deathly afraid of snakes that if they just spent an bit of time with mine, they wouldn't be as scared. It's the mystery and what tou don't know that makes them frightening.

They're neurotic and kind of dumb really.

>>52962373

When it comes to humans, 99% of the time the snake is either scared shitless or just stressed seeing as most bigger things that want to pick them up over the past several million years has done so with the desire to eat them.

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>>52961309

>>52958333
I'd bite right into that mmmmm

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>>52958333
Absolutely not.

>>52963055
Why I find this cute?

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>>52958333
>>52963210
I agree with my estemeed colleague.

>>52963236
Thanquol, pls go.

>>52962440
no step plz

>>52962604
They live in africa you retarded double faggot

>>52962440
>I explicitly requested the exact opposite!

>>52962440
neat, looks like a dinosaur

>>52965676
Why do you think they're named the Australian Cockstomper then? It's a defense mechanism they evolved, so that those who want to hunt them end up stuck in australia instead of africa.

>>52963037
If it's wild or you don't handle it often, then probably. But I got my cornsnake when I was a teen and held it for hours everyday. Now when you open the cage she'll go right up your arm before you even pick her up, she knows it's time for an adventure!
And I remember once my cat broke the top and she got out. Instead of escaping to a heated area or where her feeding tank was (close to her regular tank), she slithered up the couch and onto my lap when I was reading.

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>>52962506

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>>52966927
That's the cutest thing I've ever heard

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This reminds me of the time my party did a whole session as normal animals that got hold of magical items a really drunk necromancer dropped while flying in a zeppelin above their town. Corgi paladins are still a beloved inside joke between us to this day.

>>52966927
>Instead of escaping to a heated area
>she slithered up the couch and onto my lap
So she DID go for a heat source.

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>>52968538
Not to be a debby downer but that snake is almost certainly just doing that for the warmth she provides. I don't even think snakes have the brain functions for love or empathy.

>>52970622
There were other heat sources that were closer and warmer than me, which is what I meant. There was a heat vent, several patches of sunshine that she could have basked in, and my dad was doing some paperwork in a location closer to her cage than I was.

But yes, technically, she went for the familiar heat source.

>>52970630
They seem to at least recognize some level of familiarity, though.

>>52963055
Always wondered how they drank water.

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>>52963236
>>52963210
Ratmen get out this is a coldblood thread!!!

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[SMITES INTERNALLY]

>>52970630
>Error: Maximum file size allowed is 3 MB
Thanks be to /wsg/
http://i.4cdn.org/wsg/1493534379503.webm

>>52958333
Shoulda been a rogue.

Do a snaek attack

>>52970630
Are you some kind of expert on neurology and the source of emotions then?

>>52970630
There's nothing inherent about reptile brains that would stop them from recognising individuals and feeling attachment. Both traits are observed in lizards that live in groups and form long-lasting mating pairs. However, most reptiles are solitary so they wouldn't have need for such behaviour.

>>52978354
A snake wizard was too much, but a snake wizard AND a frog wizard? Man, that's outright frightening. Alright, I'm off.

>>52958333
>party already has an alternating snake/lizardman
>party has another lizardman on top of that
>there's also a birdman
No. It's already a literal zoo in here as is.

>>52962464
some chinese girl put a condom on a snake and tried to make it sneak into her rececently. It bit her vaginal wall and she died from poison.

>>52980010
You really need to just stick with eels.

>>52980087
or maybe at least check if the fucksnek you brought home is a biter or a choker.

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>>52961658
Cause we already bred best animal to heaven and back.

>>52980010
Why the everliving fug would you do that with a venomous snake?

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Your base has been blessed with good fortune and riches.

>Wearing your mage around your neck and claiming he's a familiar
Truly the sneakiest of solutions.

>>52982921
>every member of the party is hiding a smaller party of awakened animals

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we must summon the slann, not only has a new species of old one creations has been discovered there are ratfolk on this thread.

>>52982973
>a party of small awakened animals hires your party

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>Last character was Snakeman Revolutionary Moses
You have come to join the cause brother?! Welcome!

>>52970630
I was under the impression that Dogs, Pigs, and some lizards possessed the capacity for what we would call love.

>>52958780

Corn snakes are a little less chubby than this, but no less dopey.

>>52983123
Why are they called Corn Snakes? Do they live in cornfields or something?

>>52985649
I think it's supposed to be corn as in grain, not as in the specific plant (in my native language they're called grain snakes, at least). They've used to be often found in grain storage buildings, eating rats and mice.

>>52986029
Ah, that makes sense.

>>52958356
>>52958378
piss off with your reddit-maymays

>>52983007
Are there more of these?

>>52961443
They get bigger

>>52988180
For you

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>>52987643
more of what? lizardmen memes or types of lizardmen?

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Oh, by all means, do feel free to join ussss

>>52974244
They learn that the big, warm thing of a certain smell is neither threat nor food, so biting it is a waste of effort.

>>52989968
Isn't that how love works?

>>52989795
I meant more in that style.
I think they're cute

>>52993379
Nice.