"Well this was a pleasant chat, human"

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Who are you calling human, you purple exhibicionist?

>>52919334
Nope! We're playing D&D, which means we'll have to spend the next 45 minutes enacting a 5 minute combat, and any attempt to do a Coup De Grace is usually considered a That DM thing to do. Also my allies are with me because we literally never split the party except in town for roleplaying, so you better have brought backup.

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>>52919334
Allow me to retort.

>>52919334
That arrow isn't nocked correctly. I'm not sure it'll even move after release.

>>52919334
But you said nothing.
And also, that bow better not have s standard Damage Rank for bows because I can eat that shit all day and not even get a rash from it.

>>52919334
Fun thing.

You didn't say who had to die.

So I will specify for you.

It is time for the evil necromancer in front of us to die.

>>52919334
And? The context? Is??

>>52919334

Rape.

>>52919334
Ive... seen things you people wouldn't believe

>>52919334
What kind of person would shoot a bow in Melee range

>>52919618
Attack ships on fire off the shores of Orion, I watched Fey-spirits glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser Ley-Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die.

OK a 22 beats my ac
I use my reaction to deflect the arrow

>>52919379

>necron lords can't spell for shit

How badly damaged ARE you?

>>52919809
Someone with the right feat for it.

>>52919379
Is he flipping us the bird?

>>52919334
As a reaction I teleport back to town.
Yawn.

>>52919899
No, that's clearly the middle finger for the elf thing.

>inb4 but the middle finger is known as the bird

>>52919900

Is this possible in 5e?

>>52919334
Same to you

>>52920013
Unfortunately, with the right UA.

>>52919900
Games that are this high-power bore me.

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>>52919539
Come on brah, no need for that.

>>52922210
I for one welcome our benevolent necramcer government
>Yes, this is a thing in my setting. The undead empire built on capitalism and trade, and people voluntarily give up bodies after death.

>>52922425
How does that work? How can you provide for citizens when the workforce never expires? Well i guess the labor is cheap as fuck.

>>52922210
>>52922425
Don't forget gay marriage

>>52922425
Thanks Nicol Bolas!

>heh... good luck kid
>arrow pierces my heart
>it was a hologram
>i actually teleported behind her
>slice her in half with my katana

psssh nothin personnel kid

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>>52919334
Calm yo tits, nigga, I'm already dying.

>>52921704
Level 7.
It's the first cool thing I can do.

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>>52919334
>Pull some high charisma roll bullshit with stupid smile
>It was super effective
>Elf is now a Tsundere
>She loose the arrow but it goes flying way off it's mark
>"I-I guess it is alright to let you live, y-you stupid human"

>>52919334
Why is the arrow on the wrong side? Hand near jaw! I took a day class in archery once, but I know this is the wrong form.

>>52923334
Do you think anyone could draw properly with tits like that in the way?

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>>52919334
That's a damn shame, I was hoping this would end peacefully but I'll defend myself if I must.

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>>52919334
> Time to die.
That's not how insult-fighting works, you moron. You're gonna lose the initiative, and consequently, every fight you start if you don't use your quick wit and sharp insults.

You don't strike me as suicidal, so here, let me teach you.
Suppose I am aiming at you with a bow and arrow, just like you do at me now, and I say "There are no clever moves that can help you now".
What do you answer?

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>>52919334
*Teleports behind you*

>>52923334

There is no such thing as "arrow on the wrong side". Different styles of archery use different sides.

What is totally fucked is the arrow being at a seemingly 60 degree or more angle to the direction of the bow and her bow arm.

You're quite right about where her draw hand is though, also her bow arm is ridiculously bent.

Also the arrow she is holding has no fletching, the sword on her thigh would be swinging about all over the place and both it and the small knives seem to not have sheaths so they will probably cut her leg.

>>52925068

"I dunno, I've got a few pointed tips left to show you still."

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>>52919334
"Suffer not the Xenos to Live"

>a conveniently made-up strawmen by OP, the faggot, for all the little anons to come into the thread, reply, and leave
Another thread died for this.

>>52922425
>>52922501
I guess the undead farm the farms, mine the mines and (wood) the woods.
Humans would be bored as fuck. By capitalism, I guess instead of paying for stuff with gold you pay it off by weeks the necromancer can use your immortal soul before he will let you slumber in peace.

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>>52925971
No, no, no, you dunce, you answer something along the lines of "There are, you just never bothered to learn them"!
Okay, let's take it slow - imagine crossing your sword with a master swordsman, you are winded and out of breath, and he says to you "I hope you have a vehicle ready for quick escape".
What do you answer?

How is this /tg/ related?

>>52922574
tsundere is a derangement

>>52919334
Sorry, my schedule is full.
Arch-Militant? Dispose of this Xenos filth.

>>52927615
And you're conscious for the entire process, being even more bored in undeath than you ever were in life!
>cacklingnecromancers.png

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>mfw a slut elf appears in her slut armor

>>52919334
>All these DnD players and 40k fucks

It's like you don't even want to have fun...
This is said as a DnD player and 40k fuck, keep in mind.

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>>52919334
Ride's over mutie, time to die.

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>>52919334
I cast Shield.

>>52919334

Enchanted plate, motherfucker. Magic, and arrows do jack-fuckity-shit.

>>52928305
"Speaking from experience"?

>>52927609
Yeah, a thread on the last page that no one responded to in at least 2 hours, maybe 3.

Can you kill me by sitting on my face?

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>>52934161
That's not good enough!
What you were supposed to answer is something along the lines of "Why, did you want to borrow one?".
...I see we have our work cut out ahead of us, but don't worry, I will make a proper insult fighter from you.
Sharpen your wit.

>>52919334
*teleports behind u*
*unsheathes soul-stealer katana*
Heh, nothin personnel, kid...

>>52927609
I hope it was one you liked.

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>>52925701

*stabs you in the clear openings in your armor*

>>52934188
But I'm glad that people will respond to OPs strawman every two hours and contribute many traditional games to this board.

>>52934437
*the boobs were a hologram*

>>52919334
Y..you t..too