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Anonymous
Could I, given enough time and people, suck so much dick that I become a Slaaneshi Daemon Prince? 2017-04-26 08:27:42 Post No. 52915545
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Could I, given enough time and people, suck so much dick that I become a Slaaneshi Daemon Prince? 2017-04-26 08:27:42 Post No. 52915545
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Could I, given enough time and people, suck so much dick that I become a Slaaneshi Daemon Prince?
Anonymous
2017-04-26 08:27:42
Post No. 52915545
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Slaanesh is the Chaos God of Excess, Pleasure, and Passion. Let's say I wish to ascend to Princehood by appealing to the "Excess" part of Slaanesh, specifically sexual numerical excess. As said in the title, I will suck a lot of dick.
Now a quick Google search has revealed to me that the average dicks sucked in a lifetime is around 6-17, with outliers depending on sexual activity. But 6-17 dicks is an absolutely microscopic feat compared to the great horrors Slaaneshi champions have performed.
The timeframe for my hedonistic task is from the first year of M31 to 999.M41 (for easier calculation). That is around 10,999 years. Assuming I've done my math correctly, that is 5,781,074,400 minutes
It takes around 3-5 minutes for the human male to orgasm. For calculations' sake, I'll say my recipients orgasm in 4 minutes flat. Dividing the big number by 4, that puts the number of guys I can suck off at 1,445,268,600.
Keep in mind that I'm not doing any extra kinky stuff. I'm giving them head until they orgasm, and then I move on to the next person. For maximum time efficiency, let's say that the moment one man orgasms and fills my mouth, he's instantly replaced with another dude with his dick already in my mouth. There are no breaks for me.
Is this number acceptable for Slaanesh? At the end of my task, will I be bestowed with Princehood so that I may join in the 13th Black Crusade?
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The Warp alters time, slows it down, speeds it up, makes it loop back into itself repeating the same moment over and over again, it can hurl you into the past or forwards into the future. So you need a lot more dick than that to impress Slaanesh.
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>>52915545
I assume this 6-17 dicks sucked is really a woman (or man) sucking 6-17 different men's dicks.
1st, that is a horrifying number to contemplate if true. So much for purity and love.
Anywho, assuming you don't die, or simply run out of John's, I'm confident in saying you won't make it. Unless you fell into a warp hole and landed on another demon princes world. But even still, at that point you won't even be gaining much individual favor, in fact you are just window dressing for the princes world to show off.
Ex:
>Haha Scalia, the arch decadent, how long has anon been sucking cock?
>Oh I lost track, I think that mortal has been sucking cock since Horus turned traitor.
>Truly you are she who thirsts favorite.
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>>52915545
Why does this image turn me on so much
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>>52915545
Those are Rookie numbers. You gotta get those up. You're thinking with only one BJ-capale orifice. This is Chaos you're talking about here, so there's no hard evidence that, unless you get purged, you're limited to just sucking one dick at a time. Maybe as your quest goes on and the Warp taints you more and more, you'll sprout new mouths with which to give blow jobs.
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>>52915545
>Could I, given enough time and people, suck so much dick that I become a Slaaneshi Daemon Prince?
Maybe. But it's not a sure fire strategy.
Chaos Gods typically elevate interesting or entertaining people, and bloated cum dump isn't all that interesting.
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>>52916194
This desu
Think exponentially
Think planet sized ... Talking about the good succ on a cosmic scale
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>>52915545
>6-17
average month desu
but slanesh aint real til you murderfuck it into being, so get to it
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>>52915662
Is it? In the U.K. the average number of sexual partners is 8 for women. Sucking 6 dicks doesn't seem excessive.
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>>52915545
Only one way to find out OP
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>>52915545
Wow, I haven't seen an OP of such immense faggotry in...a week, I guess? Well done.
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>>52915662
>that is a horrifying number to contemplate if true. So much for purity and love.
t. incel nice guy
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