Story time: Chinazambia vs Franco-Prussia

Sure

>>52900839
So it was my Freshman year in college. I was taking a World Politics with a friend of mine. One week, the professor ran a "game" of sorts. He separated the room into two different countries. Chinazambia and Franco-Prussia. But he added more. There were two seperate ethnic minority groups, one for each country. We had the "Hoodoos" (not hutu mind you) and the other guys had "Farmers" (???) Everyone was handed a different packet depending on who they were. The Hoodoos and Farmers got different packets than the rest of us. Inside the packet was information crucial to the game. Most of it was info about our country (Population, economy, resources, military size, etc.) and the other country (It was limited to what our spies could gather, so keep in mind it was not always accurate) But some of it was classified information that we didn't want the country other to see. One of the best bits was a little bit of info was our side had solid proof that Franco-Prussia was polluting the lake. However, all was not well in Chinazambia.

>>52901046
The Hoodoos were restless. For centuries, there kind were "oppressed" by us (they never gave an example, so I think they might have been trying to guilt us) They demanded more voice in the government and more money for "reparations" and we would get fuck all in this deal. We offered them what we thought was a fair deal. They would be put to work in the diamond mines (a large reserve was recently found in our country) They instead, greeted this proposition with outrage. They accused us of manipulating them for wealth and using them. "Slavery" they called it, despite the fact we promised a fat check for the hard-working miners. We needed to think of something fast, because our crops weren't fairing well and we had plenty of mouths to feed.

>>52901164
Turns out, our brothers across the way were having a grand old time. The Farmers crops were doing the best they'd ever been and they had a surplus of food. But for some reason, they refused to sell. Instead, they wanted to speak to our minorities. They talked with them in secret, which is suspicious as FUCK. It was made even worse when the minority leader (some fat sorority girl) wouldn't tell us shit after they were done. Something was up, and looking back on it, we should have seen it coming.

>>52901265
After a day or so of business as usual, the head bitch of Hoodoos announced they were in talks with Franco-Prussia to secede from us and join their country, unless they were granted more power from the government and exempt from taxes. So they wanted more power without paying jack-shit. Sounds reasonable right? We were having none of that bullshit, and vetoed that shit deal right away. The Franco-Prussians were not happy with us.

>>52901362
The Franco-Prussian pigs declared war on us. The Hoodoo's fled to their country and offered military support to annex us. Our Professor was pissed, because he wanted us to talk our problems out like pussies. He played along anyway, though, and devised a way for us to settle the war. We were to play Rock-paper-scissors to decide the victor. The fate of millions and the greatest turning point in the history of either of our nations, reduced to a couple games of RPS. There were rules, however. Because our nation took a big economic hit when the Hoodoos fucked off, we had to win 9 games and the other team had to win 6.

>>52901454
We were shitting our pants. A chunk of our population missing, our economy in the toilet, a stronger nation knocking on our door, and the UN giving us the middle finger. Not the best of days. Anyway, he had us pick a "general" to represent our country and have a battle of RPS in front of the class. I was going to volunteer myself like the noble little bastard I was, until my buddy (lets call him Dave) said with a deadpan voice, "I got this" Then, without missing a beat, proceeds to win all 9 games in a row.

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>>52901618
Our country and the media went crazy. How did this shithole of a country beat the other, significantly less shitty country, with no effort? To be honest, we don't even know. In the aftermath of his finest hour, we fired our prime minister and installed "Generalissimo Dave" Supreme dictator of Chinazambia. His first act was enacting an ethnic purge of all Franco-Prussians, Hoodoos, and farmers. He made me his second in command as "Lieutenant Anon" and put me in charge of our "ethnic purity" project. With new land, resources, and job openings thanks to all the dead, we pulled our economy back from the brink and ushered in a new age for our country.

We were all given C's on the project. Worth it.

MFW I helped but I helped but a bloodthirsty dictator in power and helped him orchestrate his genocidal Orwellian nightmare.

>>52901618
>franco prussians
> a society of soldiers with superior tech, numbers,resources, and a warrior culture somehow got their ass wiped by a bunch of asians in the middle of nowhere and running out of rations quickly
This makes no sense
Your professor was shit at making this scenerio

This is utterly amazing

>>52901734
It was a made up setting. And that was because he didn't plan for it to become war, so he kinda just made shit up on the fly on how to resolve it.

>>52901734
You do know neither of these countries exist, right?

Neat

>>52901734
So Prussia invaded Vietnam. I'm not seeing the issue here.

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>>52901618
>Then, without missing a beat, proceeds to win all 9 games in a row.

>>52902502
I have no clue how he did it. To this day, he won't tell me his secret.