Could your party be trusted to raise a child, /tg/?

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>>52888923
>[wipes sweat externally]

Uncle Magnus shall teach him the ways of Dwarfdom.

>>52888923
Our games been going for so long that our characters have all got kids, so i think yes they could handle one more.

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>>52888923
Define "raise"

There's always room for one more child soldier.

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>>52888923
So far, so good.

The trick is getting her out of Southern Empire held territory before their patrols catch on to our trail.

And avoiding the dire beasts that populate the north, but so far they're just larger versions of the normal ones so we've been able to distract them with food.

>>52888923
Pfft, my party did raise a child. Hatched a hook horror from an egg and raised him to adulthood while fighting demons at the same time.

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>>52888943

>>52888923
He would hire someone else to do the job.
So yeah, by proxy.

>>52888923
One of them was specifically built to raise children, but her programming is a little borked now so I'm going to say "no".

>>52888923
>>52889083
Is anybody feeding this poor child? Every clip I see of her gives the impression she's not eating well.

>>52888923
One party is comprised of murder hobos so I would rule them out completely. The other party I am in has a slightly decent shot at raising a kid.

No way, they'd lose the child half way through the session, and when reminded about it they'd claim that's how it was meant to be and how they can do nothing about it and then they'd fuck off to another city.

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>Male elf wizard who dabbles in necromancy
Absolutely not. Doesn't help the guy used Wisdom as his dump stat.
>Female half-elf Cleric of Thor
Most likely no because she love smashing things and making them go boom (enemies and allies included).
>Female tabaxi rogue assassin
She is a contract killer who cares for no one but themselves, so chances are high on "no".
>Female half-elf blood hunter ghost slayer
This character actually has a daughter and it's so weird seeing them go from slaughtering vampire spawn, werewolves, witches and more to suddenly doting on and reading rhymes to her daughter. I'd say they're the most likely to raise them right but they are there to kill monsters so they have a high chance of dying.

One of the party members is like, 5. So let's hope so.

My party are children

>>52888923
Well, two of our party characters ended up pregnant not that long ago, so....

>>52888923
>Semi-Shota Musketeer, face and brains of the party, but nobody cares, giant faggot just like me
>Werewolf - Ranger, le "loner" type, when he isn't constantly pissed he is extremly ennoyed, hates children
>Firnelven Witch, absolutely nihilistic, hating all gods, absolute cleptomaniac, but apart from that, actually ok
>Dwarfen Smith, Tourette Syndrome, Greedy, Absolutely Barbaric, but hey, he is the tank and does this pretty well
I think not, that they would be the best role models...

>>52889361
No clue who she is, but if the memes are anything to go by, she seems to be a glutton with inhuman metabolism.

>>52888923
>Racist Roman Legionnaire expanding his influence in the war through gratuitous machismo and overconfidence.
>Man-eating crocodile person who's mostly in it for expanding his hand collection.
>Slavic ranger who's straight out of medieval S.T.A.L.K.E.R., just replace "nuclear power plant" and "radiation" with "ancient castle" and "fey bullshit".
>A half-dozen expendable grunts who regularly get replaced after occupational hazards get the better of them.
I imagine not.

>>52889361
Everyday, she eats handmade healthy meals made by her big sister dragon and occasional sweet treats from her adoptive mom who doesn't know how to cook.

Don't worry for the dragon loli she will grow up nice and healthy.

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>>52888923

Define trust for me here anon. If a child were left in the care of my team of Shadowrunners they would survive, be quite comfortable most of the time and even get a 'good' education. In that regard yes, I'd trust them to raise the child.

If you want the child to grow up to be something other than a career criminal and aspire to something other than Shadowrunner, then no.

Every single male character I have made has at least one child he raised, usually with the mother.

>>52889988
The cute girl from Op's picture is from a Maid Dragon anime.
>laterally a female computer programmer in a drunken stupor saves a dragons life
>In return the dragon becomes the woman's maid
>later all of the dragon's dragon friend stop by and learn chilling in our nonmagic human world is pretty cool.

The little girl is actually one of the dragons.
There is also a nordic dragon that roommates with a otaku and becomes N.E.E.T. and quetzalcoatl who uses her massive "assets" to torture a shota wizard side character.

>>52890262
laterally=literally stupid autocorrect

>>52888923
Noh

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>>52890262
Here is quetzalcoatl

>>52888923
>Sort of reformed criminal
>Cannibal in rehab
>Berserker
>Stoner

...sure, why not?

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>>52889361

she charges using electricity, she just eats because she wants to.

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>>52890488

Anyone got the gifs of Kanna eating a switch cartridge?

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>>52890288
Oh to be that wizard.

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>>52890500

I promise not to rename them like a tumblr filename just to troll the easily triggered person who is right this second angrily typing >tumblr

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>>52890528

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>>52890544
Spoilered for excessive violence

>>52888923
Some of us once tried to clean out an orphanage, so we could probably do it again.

>>52888923
Probably not. We're basically a visual representation of the DSM, and fate (and our own actions) have a bad tendency to screw us and those we love over. Even if we didn't end up emparting one or several of our various "quirks" on them, theyd probably end up in enough dangerous situations that any reasonable moral guardian would take them away in a heartbeat, and we'd entirely agree.

Of course, that didnt stop us from adopting several children over the course of the story. Most of them have ended up at least a little screwed up, but its (mostly) not our fault. Especially since one of them was a PC's rape baby, but not in the way you would think.

>>52889361
she eats bugs constantly too

> Teenage Superhero Campaign
I mean, maybe? It'd be kids raising kids but there's no shortage of teen mothers out there. I imagine the rich girl in the wheelchair would take the de facto mother role, because she's dying to show something some affection, the brainiac mind-controlling dude would be the stern but fair stand-in father, the smoking speedster bad boy would be the cool uncle who's nothing but a bad influence but fiercely protective, and the dragon-totem hyperlesbian... probably closer to a big sister than an actual carer.

> D&D 4e Campaign
The party elf isn't allowed within 50 feet of children, that should tell you enough. He and the fighter passed out from hunger trying to cook a stone once because they didn't want to 'waste' their rations. They barely qualify as looking after themselves. The wizard would turn the child into a toad to add to his growing toad army. The Dwarf Cleric might actually make a decent carer, but not so long as he's tied up babysitting the rest of the party.

>>52890683
You fail to realize how durable that girl is. She is a young dragon, from a anime that treats dragon power levels like shadowrun.

Sure. In most games I've been in that go on long enough the PCs end up having kids. Where do you expect to get the next generation of characters from otherwise? Just hire some bum off the street? You want to be able to keep the property and influence your character has built up when it comes time to retire him, and you want to do it in a way that makes sense narratively.

>>52888943
A man's first responsibility is to his daughteru.

>>52890796
Upgrade her to a daughterfu

I'd fucking hope so, considering that they're married and planning to settle down once current matters are dealt with.

>>52888923
Define trust, raising, and child.

>>52890746
I know who Kanna is, the only reason the children we adopted can survive all the bullshit we see is because they have a powerlevel similar to hers. We are very aware that the PCs are far from the most power things in the universe, and we are their pawns.

>>52890893
Fug, hit send too early. I don't trust myself to raise a child, and I am a dad, and I have had great parents growing up. As a father, I don't trust noone to raise a child.

>>52890555
Truly Disturbing

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>>52889988
I don't recall her really eating particularly much. She just has a weird tendency to swallow bugs and other small animals. She probably has an inhuman metabolism on the account of being a dragon, though (and her true form, while small for a dragon is still several times larger than a human).

Gluttonous lolis are the best kind, though.

>>52891169
Like I said, the only exposure to said animu is through the memes, and plenty of them have her eating things.

>>52891169
She's not really a child either, she's pretending because her own childhood was shit and wants a do-over and can in the nonmagic humanworld.

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>>52888923
>Human wizard girl freshly expelled from college, somehow wound up with her own castle
Probably not, and god help the child if she can't find it. She once lost herself on a cliff ledge with a large rock between her and the rest of the party. Though, she also has an old man, his teenager niece, and a vampire lord bro living there with her already, so, who's to really say?
>Elf druid girl in charge of her 'clan'
Ehhhhh, could go either way. Probably would obsess over it the entire time and make it the focal point of the game, since she's the DM's gf.
>Half-ogre monk
No one allow this man near any child, he might confuse it for food. Character isn't even exceptionally low-INT, player RPs him as dumber than he really is.
>Tiefling paladin
He'd probably do the best job out of all of us, raising her in the church and shit, amusingly enough.

All of us together? We could probably manage - we kept aforementioned teenage niece safe just fine, for the most part.

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>>52888923
Totally!

>>52890796
>they're both your daughters

>>52891417
No, she's a child, she's just a long lived child because Dragons lol

>>52891417

No she's a child by the standard of her species

>elf assassin that was numbed to emotions thanks to years of torture by her handlers
Surprisingly, maybe, if it was supposed to be her job. We once hired her to catsit and she did it well.
>High end socialite adept
Hell no, as drugged up as she is the kid would never make it past the first few months
>karate cowboy
He's an idiot. but the team's moralfag and has dealt with kids before becoming a Runner, so sure
>loli street sam
She'd probably shake it at one point to see if it was damaged and kill it
>KE agent with an appreciation for running
Probably the wisest choice out of the whole team, has a lot of resources to help raise a kid

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>Pyromancer mage who's slowly losing it after his father was recently assassinated
Lord no
>Half-orc Diviner/hunter who usuallyeans well but lets greed get in the way sometimes
Eh maybe
>Paladin/scorcerer of Kord
he's an uppity dick at times but means well, a tab oblivious at times.
Eh I could see him taking the job and raising a kid, abet not really giving too much emotional support though
>Paladin of freedom/Sun
while being a bit slow and not being able to read very well(7 int) he's probably the only other genuinely good person in the party aside from the other paladin and would jump at the chance to help an innocent and put them on the path to good and not really complain, and I could also see the party just dumping a kid on him anyway if it occurred.

>>52891417
Isn't she like fuckton old but like 7 in dragon years? I thought she was described as a child mentally.

>2000-year-old Warforged Warblade?
Doesn't know humans need to eat, sleep, or breathe, so no.
>Hitman for the Halfling Mafia?
Probably, but his vocation is a bit too dangerous for the kid.
>Traveling doctor of Fharlanghn?
Yes.
>Aussie Muscle Wizard with testosterone posioning?
No.
>Very very Russian Bard?
He's more the "cool uncle" than someone you would trust with a kid.
>Elderly amputee Warmage?
Had a kid of his own, so probably.
>Altogether?
Probably not, but it won't stop them from trying.

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>>52892111
She's not actually a child.

>>52893048
What did she want to do?

>>52890528
That one is from tumblr, though, isn't it?

>>52888923
>Elf party
Maybe the paladin could.
>Three stooges party
Maybe the monk could.
>Curse of Strahd party
Maybe the cleric could.

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>>52893102
Play Twister, of course.

>>52888923
The Party so far is a Mermaid Sorceress and three young Sea Dragons that the Mermaid is practically an adoptive mother to.

If said child can survive underwater, then sure. What's one more child to raise for Magic Mermaid Mum.

If not, then they at least know of a quiet fishing village who could probably take her in.

>A doctor, two mercenaries, and a necrotic zombie.
I mean, probably. Kids probably gonna end up being just as murder hobo as all of us though

>>52889361
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_PxgaGCGv7E
By her standards "eating well" means "eating as much as a soccer team on the verge of starvation".

my party would place the child in a convenient place to chain chainlightning from a save distance.

yes they did this to me one time, never play a gnome healer

>>52893533
How can Kanna eating things be so cute?

>>52893102
She wanted to $%#! with her.

>>52888923
FUCK no.

>>52891978
>I don't even know this kid

Friendly reminder that 50% of party members tasked to raise a child would be assumed to be child molesters by the general populace.

>>52893048
These kind of anime really don't help things.

>>52893597
there is no "with"

>>52893781
What generic fantasy adventuring setting has Japanese japaniméción influencing the general populace?

>>52888923
Define "right"

Because any way, the answer is no.

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I accidentally burned a young girl alive by setting the cornfield she was hiding in on fire with alchemist's fire.

So, no.

>>52893781
Geez, Anon, relax she actually does know that kid.
She was explicitly asked by the kid's father to look after the kid.
She is also deputized police officer, complete with badge and everything.

>>52891417
>>52892111
In the manga it was mentioned that when a dragon uses magic to transform in a human form, they don't get to choose their appearance. Rather, their human appearance is effectively what that dragon would look like if it was a human. So Kanna being a child in her human form would indicate that she's a child by dragon standards.

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>>52888923
I don't trust them to rp their way out of a wet paper bag let alone this.

>>52894669
Cool speculation but: >>52893048

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>current 4e party:
>a half-elf bard that tries to bed almost every woman he meets, and at one point accidentally flirted with his mom, and currently running a political campaign to become king against his father
>an elf monk who refuses to keep any money on her, and throws around any she gets haphazardly
>a fucking psycho demon in a small girl's body
>a rabbit girl cleric who is reluctantly orchestrating church-sanctioned ritual sacrifice to revive her goddess
>a rabbit girl sword mage from a small tribe who is also running a campaign against the bard and his father to become queen
>a possibly gay summoner angel that had his wings torn off by harpies, currently trying to raise a teenage dragon
>an amnesiac human warlord who's actually a 300 year old robot and former ruler of a technocratic kingdom

Out of all of these, I'd probably only trust the either the gay angel summoner or the rabbit girl sword mage to be a competent parent of a small child.

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>>52894878
>implying children don't want to fuck things

>>52889083
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F9wpezqKFnA

>>52888923
The last party I played in had a Von Carstein as the party leader. So any kid they would have would likely either be drained and turned into an undead servant or a vampire within ten years.

The party in my normal games has effectively Gilgamesh, The daughter of Gilgamesh suffering from madness, A lawful knight plotting treason, And the knights sister who is hedonistic to the point of effective slaanesh worship. All in all while a kid raised by them would live it would also likely be fairly messed up in the head.

>>52888923
Well they are all lawful neutral. The Space Robot Judge might have some trouble. Possibly the heart warming kind.

>>52888923
>goblin hobo with a cobbled-together 'blast-staff'
>shapeshifting cat burglar/hedge wizard
>'Shellshocked' birdman who only vaguely speaks any languages outside of simple mimicry
>womanizing alcoholic detective with a death wish
>we're all traveling under assumed names half the time
>we're about to make enemies of the largest crime ring on the continent
Hell no, we could not.

>>52888923
They could be trusted to dump it at the nearest reputable orphanage.

>>52888923
Pffffffft no
>most child-friendly character is an older-than-she-looks fey

>>52898317
Don't fey steal children anyways? Why doesn't she have one in the first place?

>>52890262
Wasn't the series yuribait?

>>52898429
On a scale of zero to Sakura Trick it's a moderate Mouretsu Pirates or Teppu: one or two lesbians are involved but the meat of the show is elsewhere

Raise? Most certainly. Make them a functional adult? Might have a couple issues there.

>>52898496
>Teppu
>lesbians
Cease this slander, girls are beating the shit out of each other in strictly platonic way.

>>52888923
Sure, can't be that hard.

>>52888923

My party's had to raise twelve children. It went well for all of them, even those who were litteraly evil incarnate. I guess they are okay at parenting.

>>52898593
>MC is a closeted S&M lesbian who hasn't clued in yet even while creaming herself over the idea of getting pounded
>Karate girl is a bitter ex who bottles up her feelings and pretends she's just mad MC abandoned The True Path Of Martial Arts
>Karate girl's underling is confirmed homogay, boldly proclaiming her feelings in public
>Eyebrows Monkey is asexual but will marry MC anyway because she lacks all empathy and can only express herself through punches
>Butch pro-MMA chick hitting on other competitors ringside

You know what, I take it back. Teppu is way gayer than meidoragons and Mouretsu Pirates.

>>52893934
Come on, man, this is your chance to try again and make up for past sins.

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>>52898715
You're misinterpreting things.

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>>52898817
Your pointed arguments have convinced me the error of my ways.

they're tried
they left her behind when they emergency teleported off their boat, after letting her witness a vampire killing her best friends

her life will be better without them

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>Psychotic bug controlling Druid.
No.
>Drunken Monster hunter.
No.
>Edgy katana wielding Drow.
Fuck no.
>An oni who routinely toutures people to get what he wants.
No.
>Emotionless barbarian woman.
Probably not.
>Half giant preist.
Yes but he died last session.
>Generic warrior played by a guy who has been accused of making out with/feeling up a real 12 year old.
Absolutely not.

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>>52893102
You decide

>>52888923
They can barely be trusted to raise themselves.

So, no.

>>52888923
One is a group of cyborg lolis, the other (technically not an RPG party) is a group of alien teenagers with varying degrees of disfunctional personalities, so I doubt it

>>52899369
...... She likes corm?

>>52899369
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U91RIN1K-Rw

Depends on how thick her thighs are.

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>>52898862
A subtle message for the del/u/sional.

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>Nathan Drake-inspired rogue with a drinking problem without the Con to hold his liquor moi
nope
>hänfling character who has literally done nothing minus get into a drinking contest with one of the other PCs
if I actually KNEW about him...
>fallen aasimar warlock with questionable motives and a penchant for skulking off by herself to go brooding
i am not letting a child be raised by an edgelord
>dorf cleric who is decently religious but honestly hasn't contributed much this entire game
I guess? Hardly the best RPer there
>half-elf ranger who used an oversized great sword she could barely wield and is emotionally traumatized after the death of one of my old PCs who she shared a close friendship with
I won't put her under further emotional stress raising a possible hellspawn
>water genes blackguard who has literally fallen due to his failure to protect said PC
Maybe before the fall. Now? Hell no

we can barely take care of ourselves

>>52900108
You people are all so damn negative. I mean worst comes to worst you can just cut your losses like this anon >>52893934

"Hey, let's play hide and seek in the cornfield over there!"
"Yay!"
"Here, douse yourself in this lamp oil first to mask your scent, that way it'll be an extra hard game for us!"
"Yay!"

She was never going to end well either way, but hey at least you have popcorn now. Gotta turn those lemons into lemonade, you know?

Every single party member has a wife and children. For a while we were journeying with a great-grandpa, but he died to acute being-eaten-by-sea-serpent.

So uh... hopefully they can manage.

>>52898772
We never actually confirmed she was dead and it was on an island filled with ghouls. We met her ghost father and I had to personally tell him what happened. Then we found out she was turned into a ghoul. I'm on a quest now to find a way to turn her back, I'm saving all the gold I get and not buying anything for myself so I can help her.

So, I'm trying. But the outlook is grim.

>>52900579
Slap a bow on her, get an alchemist to mix you up some febreeze, and never sleep with your ass exposed and you should be fine. Learn to accept fate and people, even undead people, as they are!

Absolutely not.

We were traveling with a woman and child for a time, then realized the womans handmaiden had taken over her body and had been pretending to be her while keeping the real mothers soul trapped in a painting.

We decided we like the evil hand maiden more and left the mother in the painting. Her soul eventually wound up in the childs body and the childs soul ended up in an ork and they ran away from the party.

The handmaiden in the mother's body has become a full member of the party, and we have fought off cabals of wizards and companies of orks to keep her around.

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>>52900268
Sounds edgy but that's just the initiation. If the kid survives that then she can join the gang. After all, there's worse things you can teach a kid in a fantasy world than how to beat the shit out of things.

Also, seriously, if she survives that double check your Detect Evil spells. This cannot be overstated.

>>52901099
I think Detect Evil doesn't work on creatures below a certain level, so you're double boned.

>Half-Elf Bard that tells a bunch of racist jokes and leaves lit sticks of dynamite in places he doesn't like
>Human Ranger that has an Alex-Jones-versus-globalists-tier passionate hatred for celestials, a habit of starting bar brawls, and a very low tolerance for alcohol
>A human fighter that might be a fucking robot and enjoys beating the shit out of things

It could happen, but it's probably a longer shot than when we killed Anubis at level 1

>>52901229
Even if she was a level 1 commoner beforehand after surviving that she should be at least level 2 commoner.

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>Your daughteru grows up
What do

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>>52901668
Send her out into the world to become an adventurer too

>>52901668
Continue cuddling?

>>52894022
Kuroko stop posting on /tg/, we all know you're gonna fug her

>>52901668
Give her a list of contacts and safe places, tips, and a solid set of gear for her skillset and send her on her merry way.

Or, if the gang's still doing shit together, she graduates to full-time party status.

>>52888923
An alcoholic ptsd ridden paladin probably wouldn't be the best father figure for an impressionable child. She could live with my brother I guess.

>>52901984
I'm still waiting for kuroko and Chachachan to have glorious, bitter, hatesex.

>>52901668
Something about that image makes me think that her relationship or feelings towards her father are not entirely wholesome.

>>52902840

She's a cat, they don't know better

Let's see:
>Dark Heresy players in general
Fuck to the no.

>The Homicidal Sister with a boner for her eviscerator
No, and she's one of the game ones
>The Stormtrooper that's been mindwiped so many times he gets PTSD from seeing Inquisitor's
He's the least aggressive, but no
>An Assassin that's been raised on Armageddon since birth and got off world by hiding in an guardsmen corpse.
HAHAHAHAHA. No
>The pedo radical Interrogator who thinks binding a daemon into a zoanthrope is a good plan
I'd kill the girl first.

>>52888923
My first party would probably sell her to gypsies or trade her for something valuable when they find out that they have to feed her and don't want to have to share food.

My second party tends to go on suicide missions and die a lot (we just roll up new characters all the time) so she'd be emotionally traumatized pretty soon or possibly killed in action alongside us.

Poor kid.

Ummm. Current party is better than it could be. >The captain is a sex crazed alchoholic cat person,
she will probably function better with something to focus on and to keep safe
>Barely civilized ritually cannibalistic Maori elf
He is probably going to try and use the child as monster bait if someone doesn't tell him no
>Artificer ratfolk with a jekyl and hyde barbarian alter ego
30% chance of trying to install magical cyberware into the child. If he resists that urge, the kid would grow on him
>Lizard man cleric
Would be doting and kind, but useless ultimately.
>Pyromancer Sorcerer
Has some mothering instincts and would probably do alright with the kid.

End of the day though, the ogre NPC would end up being the primary caregiver.

>8ft tall 500lb ogre chef named Cooky. He feeds her, draws with her, and teaches her everything he knows about food. Anyone that would mistreat her will likely be fed their own legs through their ass.

>>52891417
Stop being wrong where everyone can call you out on it.

>>52901351
Not half as bad as some of the others

My Current Party:
An 8 foot tall Dwarf
A two headed Bard (Me)
A wizard who has died at least twice and got trapped in the Dwarf
A Dragon-born whose more dragon than anything
A time traveling/dimension crossing Ranger
and a Rouge who cant sneak and is a demi god

Also we already got one child killed (wizard did it)
Odds are not in our favor

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>>52888923
My party can't encounter a single cute child without trying to kidnap them and take them home. It's worrisome.

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>>52893167

>>52888923
>undead soviet tank commander
>undead cosmonaut
>undead soviet "engineer"

they wouldn't succeed, but they'd jump at the chance.

>>52903528
I demand further information.

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>>52903414
That looks kind of cute - sauce any good? Also, sauce?


OT:

Me - Human Paladin of Kelemvor: Probably not bad. I'm trying to play him as a reconstruction of the classical Hero archetype to balance out the edgelords in the rest of the party, so he probably wouldn't even pressure the kid into going to church a lot, much less turn them into a murderhobo.
Bro - Chaotic Random Halfling Rogue: He's not bad at roleplaying when he's into it, but he's godawful at consistency over sessions. He'd probably forget the kid was there.
That Guy - "Chaotic Sexy" Gnomish Cleric of Gond: His character basically tells you everything there. Apparently he actually tried to put Chaotic Sexy as his alignment. And he seems to think "Cleric of Gond" is a free pass to whip out flintlock pistols from his ass. Otherwise, he's trying to play FATAL. Fucker's the reason we hoard scrolls of Resurrection. Hell, the reason the DM /allows us/ to do that.
This Guy - Elvish Wizard: The thing about this guy is that he /always/ is doing something sneaky. He's This Guy, not That Guy, because it's always a fun twist and he takes pains not to really hurt the party, but given he's playing a Neutral Good Wizard with a Keen Sense of Right and Wrong... I'm willing to bet he's a fucking Lich or Pit Lord or something in disguise helping us out for LOLs or worse. It wouldn't be the first time he'd played the BBEG for the whole game. It's like sitting at the table with the gay love-child of Light Yagami and Penn Jillette.

>>52888923
Well let's see.
>Half-orc Inquisitor who is essentially Bale Batman, and is basically a black-ops agent from Lastwall.
He might, he's pretty chill when not on duty, and secretly has a big heart
>Ifrit Bard who failed to cut it as a Swordlord, and so is obsessed with becoming the richest and biggest dick sonuvagun in Avistan
Yeah no.
> Tien Harbinger who is a literal murderhobo who wants to kill his sister for reasons
Hell no
>Ratfolk Investigator who runs his own P.I. business.
Could work, though he'd have to quit smoking

>>52903567
The party was a group of cosmonauts from the 60's; an old military man, a more well-trained cosmonaut, and me, the "technician" with no technical skills.

After I fucked up our flight's trajectory by not keeping track of extra zeros, our oxygen ran out and we drifted dead for millions of years until the campaign starts and we all reanimate as skeletons.

>>52903716
That is awesome.

>>52903394
>8 foot tall dwarf
does that mean hes also 8 foot wide? and got a 6-7 foot long beard?

>>52905074
> Andre the Dwarf-Giant
It's like the giant midget joke all over again

>>52888923
The first child introduced into the setting got killed by the party ranger.

The second child introduced into the setting was punched in the face by the Paladin and they weren't even evil

>>52888923
>party
No, because the party is already a "broken home" scenario. There are however definitely party members that could handle it ezpz, to varying degrees of success.

>>52888923
I think not. a kid's future does not bode well when the group is so close to the Shadowlands, after all.

Children should stay at home with the wife while we go kill monsters and criminals who would threaten the empire.

Considering the only parent-like character in the party is basically already busy babysitting everyone else I do not think it would go well in the long term.

>>52889560
That blood hunter and daughter duo sound cute.

>>52903627
>sauce any good? Also, sauce?
Yes it is

Series is "Uchi no Musume no Tame Naraba, Ore wa Moshikashitara Maou mo Taoseru Kamo Shirenai", but goes by "UchiMusume" for short.

There's a 25 percent chance she'll be sold for drugs, 25 percent chance she'll be turned into 'tactical ablative armour' and a 50 percent chance that someone is going to 'try to raise her right, damnit, we're not monsters' as a roleplay thing and end up raising turbo-hitler by mistake.

>>52888923
They couldn't be trusted with feeding a goldfish

>>52888923
Raise no keep safe maybe? I don't think they would have the time to as they are on a constant hunt for the BBEG and it only gets more dangerous every location they go.

>>52888923
I'm the GM I'm already taking care of five fucking children.

>>52888923
>Dumner summoner who's currently THIS CLOSE to murdering the Orsimer and is endlessly frustrated that his dice hate him to the extent of losing control of his summoned daedra 2/3 of the time
He'd probably be like the Asian dad stereotype, mostly through not knowing how to express his love for the tiny person.

>Moon Sugar-addled Khajiit who sleeps with literally anyone female anywhere we go and spends 90% of his time asleep in the back of the party wagon
Not. A. Fucking. Chance.

>Orsimer blacksmith who willingly shopped in the entire party and fate of the world to the clearly evil quest-giver purely because lolmoney.
I mean, he MIGHT be a good dad, but like fuck is he living past the next session.

>Argonian huntress with a crippling fear of large crowds and who dotes over her pet guar, Daisy
The kid'd walk all over her, but I think she'd probably be a good mom.

>Nord shieldmaiden. Newest addition to the party and already fed up with the Dark Elf and the Orc bickering.
Not had enough time to tell, but honestly, she'd probably be the best bet to raise a kid in a well-rounded fashion.

>>52888923
My party can't be trusted with a sandwich, much less a child.

>>52906960
What if - now hear me out! - what if...your adopted daughter was also a sandwich?

>>52888923

In one of my running campaigns, the neutral evil wizard PC found a kid with a strong magic aura and I ended up letting him make her into his familiar. He basically turned her into his conman assistant who could conveniently sneak up on people to use touch spells. They're both still currently living happily, though the Ranger/Paladin PC is trying his hardest to baptize the evil out of her. The rest avoid her because, you know, evil children are scary man.

>>52907055
Great, now I'm thinking of sandwich mimics for some reason. A (potentially) deadly new behavior in mimics adapting themselves to ever encroaching civilization.

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>>52907087
I'm tonguing yer pickle with muh bacon tongue, bitch, whatchu gonna do about it?

>>52901696
>tfw this is exactly what's going to happen to the party's current daughteru
When she grows up, one of two things is going to happen:
>The party redeems her in a glorious show of the power of platonic love
>She captures/kills the party in an attempt to turn them to her side

>>52901696
The best part is where she started to kill her own maids.

>>52907102
I want to protect my new sandwich daughter's smile and any man who wants to stick his meat between her buns will have to fight me.

>>52899772

Where's that originally from?

>>52888923
Well, the superhero game could use a child ward, though our group's kinda weird in that the ex super catburglar and the elder vampire are the least likely to screw it up. My demon squirrel minion can keep them safe while we fight crime.

The other group, an older group, much less so since one of the two people who actually looked after the kid we accidentally ended up with was a literal murder hobo trying to learn how to not be a murder hobo.

I don't get it, if a dragon is a child by "dragon years" but super old in human years; they would still be way more intelligent than the equivalent human

The only way for them not to be would be if they were so dumb it took them that many more years to understand the same concepts which is obviously not the case since Elma learned how to use computers in like a few weeks. Like imagine a species just as if not more intelligent than humans. Now, their childhood is defined by their first 300 years. That should be the equivalent of a human learning for 300 years.

>>52907518
Dragons don't go to dragon school, they just sit around and hump treasure all day. It's good work if you can get it, but not comparable to a classical education.

>>52907518
There's a thought that the longer something lives, the slower it's perception of time would be.
Immortal beings would probably look back on decades or even centuries with the same kind of detachment we have looking back on the week.
hence /tg/'s meme of the Elf that spends so much time researching that she ends up adventuring with the children of her original party.

Anyway, Kanna was still rather intelligent, she was just childish and didn't know much about earth at all. She wanted to make friends with children because she still sees herself as a child despite probably being smarter then the teacher and she knows this.

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>>52907564
>Dragons don't go to dragon school, they just sit around and hump treasure all day
t. western dragon

>>52888923
You mean like "from the dead" right? 'Cause yeah, we could handle that.

Pathfinder group is a bunch of pirates, which is a downside; on the other hand we're all CG or NG; generally of a puckish rogue persuasion; and thus would at least TRY.

Kid would learn her knots; and how to climb rigging; and fight with swords. Might not be entirely sane at the end, but it could be a lot worse.

Shadowrun group... yeah, no.

>>52888923
HA, no.

>>52888923

Probably. The party is a bunch of terrible people, but they have a sibling feel going by now. The one things that collectively gets them motivated and focused is any of them being messed with. The child would be obsessively cared for and treated like royalty.

I dunno about "can", but we're going to be since I'm pregnant.

>>52888923
>Ebudan neph Warrior Summoner
Would dote on girl all day, every day, alongside her waifu, the C'iel dragon of LOVE. That girl would be waking up daily cuddled between a borderline-angelic ball of JUSTICE and HAMMER, and a dragon made out of pure elemental light and positive vibes.
>Nephilim Daimah Railgun Mentalist
Would probably ignore her most of the time, including in combat. And should she wind up in the middle of one of his fights, she'd probably end up accidentally getting shot, because fucker doesn't understand "look before you shoot"
>Nephilim Sylvain Warlock
Would teach the girl all sorts of things, mostly about occult stuff like dead languages, enchanting, and beings from the Wake. He'd be helped in this endeavor by Manah Razz, who he is unknowingly in a relationship with.

>Jayan Nephilim Weaponmaster
Would kill the party, which she wants to do anyway, and steal the girl. Unless the girl is a formidable combatant. Then it'll be a fight to the death.

>>52907518
She's physically a few hundred years old, looks like she's five, and has the emotional intelligence of a kind 10 year old.
I'd say learning happens at human speed, but emotionally aging is drawn out.

>>52888923
Absolutely not. We run the gambit of neutral, and we're sort of terrible people.

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>>52907242
Your sandwich mimic daughter is a whore.

Necromancers are great at raising children...
Or anything from a grave.

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>>52916015
But do they know why ghoul girls love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch?

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>>52916160
Because reasons

>>52916229
WRONG! It's because of the cinnamon putrescence leaked into every bite like the bile filled spawn of nagash!

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>>52902840

>>52888923
We play Black Crusade. Of course we fuckin' can't.
>Heretek modelled after CIA spook
Way too much MKULTRA to be healthy for anyone.
>Sociopath Slaaneshi psyker
No. Nonononononono. No. Keep your hands and... other limbs to yourself you cold hollow shell.
>Fleshshaper obsessed with beauty
It'd turn into the sickest combination of Cronenberg and Giger you can think of.
>Pseudo-Communist Khornate nobleman
...If I had to choose one, it'd be him. But I'm still not sure anything Khorne-related is suitable for any child.

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>>52888923
>Half-elf satire bard
Chaotic Neutral in the "no one tells me what to do"-sense. Chose to leap out the window rather than make his own bed, and is therefore not living in the group mansion. Limited empathy. No.

>Dragonborn bladelock
Mentally retarded, but generally amiable unless in combat or under possession of his patron devil. This happens too often. Extremely unsuited.

>Half-orc wild magic sorcerer
Has yet to show interest in anything but "shinies". Can genuinely be distracted by tinfoil. Very no.

>Earth genasi nature cleric
Perpetually stoned. Inexplicably grumpy and moody in spite of this. Probably the least likely to get the kid killed by accident or neglect.

>Svirfneblin rogue
Has missed a lot of sessions and so hasn't been fleshed out much beyond "kleptomaniac" and "terrible planner". Probably no.

>Dragonborn beast ranger
Disgraced nobility, if disgraced means "I keep disappointing my dad and now he's threatening to disown me". Only cares about others as far as they can give him prestige, but is usually too spoiled and petty to actually build a reputation. Has so far only showed empathy for his badger and one or two other nobles. Not ideal.

>Water genasi blood hunter (mutant)
Ex-pirate. Short-tempered and brutal, but at least pragmatic enough to know when a good word beats a quick buck. Has a tendency to leave dangerous chemicals lying about. It's a big maybe, but still in the top three.

>DM
Sadistic. No.

>>52888923
My character is a father that spends his down time visiting his kids and conquests, but just recently picked up two curses, one that makes him paranoid and another where two zombies of former comrades continually regenerate and come for him. The rest of the party are a bunch of murderhobos, hitmen, one is a slaver and the last one is a dwarf wild magic pirate.
No, I wouldn't trust them to co raise a child.

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>>52903433
>>52893167
>mfw I found out the mangaka does porn

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>>52903627
>Neutral Good Wizard with a Keen Sense of Right and Wrong

It's a trap.

>>52888923
I, as in I, could be trusted.
Being a good silver dragonborn paladin of Tiamat makes me trustworthy.

My PARTY however, is not trustworthy. Straight up, they are pirates. Not even privateers-turned-pirates, just pirates.

Has Mister OP even responded to anybody?

Or was he just hoping for porn of the image, or just baiting, or just hoping to see party comps.

>>52919858
Alarmist baby. Neutral Good Wizard has such a keen sense of Right and Wrong because he TESTED, rigorously, using the Magitific Method. Carefully prepared his checklists before setting it on fire to prove, irrefutably, that burning puppies alive is WRONG. Now to move on to the kittens.

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>>52919994
I've responded to a couple people. I just like to see /tg/ talking about their games.

>>52920774
Figured.

You've seen these, then.

Personal pick for some of the weirdest is the silver dragonborn follower of Tiamat who is good-aligned with a bunch of pirates.

How the hell does such a character function?

Good job on the thread by the way, OP.
I like the game stories too, and it's going well so far.

>>52888923
Yes, I think we could, just not in the situation we are in.
More than half of the party are divine classes so we're going to have one holy little being or else the most over-churched child in existence. We've got a paladin to teach the child justice and goodness, we've got a cleric to teach them faith and how to stand for what you believe in, we have another cleric to show them that death is nothing to be afraid of and that acceptance and understanding are important, and we have a reformed assassin to teach them that pragmatism can exist at the same time as honor and that forgiveness is worth it.

We would be great at raising a child, if it weren't for the whole war and moving around constantly.

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>>52901668
Having read a large chunk of Laska and Me that image really strikes me really wrong.

I mean I love the art, but in the context of the story that's just not right.

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>>52888923
>Hedonistic young nobleman with two elf slaves
Nope

>Kleptomaniac and greedy mercenary with no sense of morals
Nuh-uh

>Bloodthirsty psychopath who literally salivates before a fight
Hell no

>Humble lumberjack who's on a journey to know about the world around him
Yes.

I punched a child to death In a campaign once, the two female players wanted to raise It, then I'm told by the DM that my char sensed It was trying to exert some form of control over their characters.
Flurry of blows from a high LV Monk into an infant occured.

>>52923994
Wha

It was trying to exert control?

And it died like a regular infant?

That not adding up

>>52916160
It's the fucking sugar.

>>52888923
>Orc street sammy with a penchant for gunplay
Well...he'd certainly try, though he'd look for someone to take care of her before she starts thinking her "uncle" is so cool that she takes up Shadowrunning too. Fuck. That. Kid's still got a wide variety of options to choose from in the future, from corporate drone to minimum wage slave. Hell, if she really wants to be a runner, fine; but she should have the right to weigh her options AFTER growing up, not before.

>Gungan smuggler who tries to flirt with anything that has a pussy.
>A Hutt who can use the force.
>A small bat-like alien thing that is a little too into technology.
>A Mirialan Jedi trying to bring back the Jedi and might be a little too into combat.

I wouldn't trust myself at the hands of this party and I'm the guy playing the gungan.

> Great Old One warlock turned communist dictator (me)
Actually would do an okay job, since he is thinking about having an heir, and raising a child can't be much harder than turning a couple dozen kobolds in a cave into a world superpower.
> Dragonborn paladin of the local god of combat (the moral compass)
Would do an okay job, but has nearly killed himself every time he has been near dynamite, so you never know.
> Dead bard
Is dead
> Tabaxi paladin of life (the bland one)
Not sure, he was a new character rolled up all of two sessions ago
> Stoner druid (complete fucking idiot)
Borderline autistic, almost caused a couple TPKs, player has a penchant for losing characters to stupid choices. Should not be anywhere near a child.
> Elven assassin/ leader of the not! KKK (murderhobo)
Would kill the child if it was not human or elven, might kill it anyway. If he didn't it would grow up horribly malajusted and violent. Probably the least qualified.
All considered, our happy, autistic family would do okay, if just because the Dragonborn and myself would keep the idiots away from the kid.

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>>52888923
Party is a Robot Actor, a Frankenstein Supersoldier, a Necromancer J-Pop singer, an Undead Spider, a person with a Kraken for a soul, and another J-Pop singer with a spirit bolted onto their soul.
Yeah, I think we'd do just fine.

>>52924234
No no no, stupid, it's the SWIRLS of CINNAMON sugar in every bite.

You get 1/3rd credit, at least.

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>>52924527
Multi-Splat WoD games get weird fast. I love them. Also I found the Team pic so here it is.

>>52888923
That question may become of grave importance soon in our campaign, actually. The King just fell to a surprise attack by cultists, and the young princess doesn't have too many protectors left. The cleric in our party has already started making moves to make her more receptive to following Cyric, and our senile sorcerer and mostly amoral Drow rogue aren't much better. My character has built a reputation as the "good" one of the group, but only comparatively, ad I'm Lawful Neutral, and will all-to often go along with the schemes my teammates get up to if it's convenient to my larger goal of saving my character's tribe. The GM seems to be setting up events such that we might be the heroes of the realm in the mold of 4 previous legendary heroes, but frankly, I don't think we fit the bill. Already talk has turned to how we're going to set ourselves up as her protectors and advisers and groom her to support the policies we favor.

>>52905640
What are you, some sort of not-Crab?
Kid's gotta learn sometime.

>>52888923
>Could your party be trusted to raise a child, /tg/?

So far we've lost two children to a combination of neglect, paranoia driven inter-party conflicts and the techpriest using them as test subjects. This trend seems like it will continue for the foreseeable future as long as we keep making orphans.

So no, while some of the party members may be capable of raising a child if they were alone, the party shouldn't be allowed anywhere near children.

>>52924071
>That's the joke

>>52888923
One of our parties would be fine to trust, if they didn't just play a part in starting what may well be the planar war that will finish off known existence if unchecked. Even then, they'd probably call on some connections to have the kid raised by others. Somewhat strange others, but the NPC adventurer count is high in that campaign.
The exalt party is theoretically just fine; two of the PCs actively do that even (one is a Supernal Teacher, the other we found as a pick-pocket turning the local orphan population into a racket).
The Carrion Crown party may well see the kids taken care of by others, but should probably not be raising them directly; preferably by people outside of the place where even the eldritch terrors have to worry about the local everyday terrors fighting back.
...and the Numanera PCs are working for not-Skeletor, though they'd presumably be semi-competent and are sane enough by setting standards.

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>>52888923
of course we are always in need of some new recruits, mostly because the old ones die so fast.